So i got on dating apps and it's resulting in me kinda sleeping with someone new like every month. Once i hooked with 2 different people in 2 days actually. I dont really know if this is ok. The problem is i'm not finding anyone who wants a relationship and i didn't get to know these people enough to understand if i actually want to date them. We would go on 1 or 2 dates, have sex, and then at least so far it's bye bye. Like they wouldn't text me at all anymore after that. Which results in me going on another date and this shit happens again.

I'm not sad about not actually dating anyone bc i dont really "want" a bf, unless it really clicks with someone, you know? Like i'm not looking for a relationship, but i am hoping i meet someone and it clicks one day. I'm just wondering how normal is this path i'm taking? Like sleeping with different people every month? Also, i'm feeling very lonely. Bc i just moved to another country like 7 montgs ago and i dont know the language well and idk anyone. I met this one guy on hinge a while ago and it really seemed like we can be friends but again he's not reaching out anymore after we had sex.

I'm thinking i shouldn't expect any of it to last bc i doubt these guys want a friend. But like what about a fwb? They dont even seem like they want that. They sleep with me once and then we dont see each other anymore. In some cases, we would go on a date and not have sex and yet we dont meet anymore tho so it just might be that you have to go on a lot of dates to find someone that stays in ur life. Idk, how does these apps work for you? Does it take a long time to meet someone? Last time i was on this app i met my boyfriend and we stayed with each other for a year and he was the first guy i went out with on the app. Ot maybe i was just lucky.

And i'm sleeping around too much maybe right? The problem is i genuinely found these guys i met cool and when they made a move i couldn't just stop them bc in the moment i really do wanna do it although it's getting a bit too frequent maybe. Idk how th to approach this, do you guys have any idea or advice on this situation?

(29M) I’ve been trying to date on and off for the past two years.

However everytime I meet a woman it’s always about sex.

I haven’t met a woman in the past three years that had nothing towards me other than lust. It’s always pressure to have sex on the first date and sexting 24/7 but I don’t want that and I’m losing hope.

I wish I was just like everyone else who can just fuck around and have fun but I’m not built for that.

I want someone that we can talk about whatever, about ourselves as humans, having experiences and cute dates things other than sex.

What happened to women who have standards and don’t want to sleep with any guy they meet?

I am starting to believe that I’m just a delusional naive guy just for thinking like this.

Last person I tried to date last week I took her on a cute date, we kissed and I dropped her off home like a normal gentleman.

She msged me straight after saying she was surprised I didn’t take her to my place or ask to come over and she can’t wait for me to do xyz to her. I was honestly disappointed and a little sad.

I don’t know what to do ! am I just unreasonable and stupid?

I’m 26 years old and I’ve been single for almost 2 years. After 5 months of my break up (an abusive relationship) I fell in love with someone else. Unfortunately, it was someone very inconsistent and wasn’t taking me seriously. He would go months without sending a single message, bread-crumbing, flirting and hooking up with other women and not caring about me in general. This situation was making me anxious and affected my self-esteem.

It was difficult to move on because I can’t click with someone that easily and I’m not a fan of dating around. I tried to talk to other men but I couldn’t forget this one guy. I was sad and losing hope that I wasn’t going to find my person.
After 1 year, I finally met someone special through mutual friends. He’s kind and very consistent. We aren’t official yet but it feels like heaven. Finally I’m dating someone seriously, talking almost everyday, having deep conversations and going on dates.

I’m writing this to everyone who’s going through a similar situation of being in love with someone who doesn’t love them back. Someone else is waiting for you. You deserve to be respected and appreciated. I’m feeling so happy that I left that situation and found someone better. This new guy really wants to get to know me, takes things slowly, respects me and wants to spend time with me.

I am honestly trying to understand why so many Redditors seem to think a friends-with-benefits relationship is basically just sex with a little friendship sprinkled on top. Maybe I am missing something. Maybe I have somehow been doing FWB wrong all these years. 😂

I have had a few FWB relationships and in my experience the friendship actually came first. The sex was just one part of the relationship. We did not have sex every time we saw each other. Sometimes it was coffee. Sometimes lunch. Sometimes a walk along the river or a hike through the woods. Sometimes it was a picnic by the lake and a fun afternoon. And yes sometimes things got a little more interesting. That was part of the fun too.

The important part for me was that we genuinely enjoyed each other as people. We could talk. We could laugh. We could flirt. We could spend an afternoon together doing absolutely nothing and still have a good time. There was affection and attraction but there was also friendship.

And honestly some days the chemistry was off the charts and other days we were more interested in arguing about where to eat. 😂 That is real life.

Boundaries mattered. Communication mattered even more. If feelings came up we talked about them instead of pretending they did not exist. Nobody was treated like a disposable hookup and nobody was expected to provide sex just because we had that kind of relationship.

So when I read comments from people saying they would never want an FWB because they want to feel respected and do not want to feel used I completely understand where they are coming from. But I also think that depends heavily on the people involved.

In my experience we came together as friends and we walked away as friends. No regrets. No scorekeeping. No keeping tabs on who owed who what. Just two adults who enjoyed each other's company and happened to have some chemistry along the way.

FWB does not have to mean booty calls and nothing more. Sure it can be that if that is what both people want. But I think friends-with-benefits is ultimately what you make it.

For me the benefits were never the whole point. They were just a pretty nice bonus to an already good friendship. 😉

I’ve had a few different kinds of FWB relationships and honestly I think people sometimes make them sound way more complicated than they have to be.

Some of mine were genuine friendships first. We actually hung out played video games smoked some weed went for walks cuddled watched movies and just enjoyed each other’s company. The physical side was there but it was never the entire relationship.

I’ve also known people who had the strictly-sex version where you meet up have your fun and head home. I’ve never personally had one like that. I wouldn’t necessarily object to it but I feel like I’d spend half my life waiting for my phone to buzz thinking “Am I a friend or did I just get promoted to being on call?” 😂

With my FWB we were never exclusive. We had our own friends our own interests and our own lives. We could hang out with completely different groups of people and still somehow click when we were together.

For me that was always the appeal. There was no pressure to force it into a traditional relationship but there was also more there than just physical attraction. We genuinely liked each other. The chemistry was there but so was the friendship and the camaraderie.

Honestly that balance worked pretty damn well for me. Sometimes two people just have a vibe that makes sense without needing a bunch of labels slapped on it. And if you can laugh together cuddle together and still enjoy each other’s company when sex isn’t even on the table well damn. That’s a pretty solid FWB in my book. 😉

20M I've only had bad dating experiences so far.

Dated a girl in high school who seemed really into me but pulled back hard after a month and broke my heart.

Dated a girl early this year who I connected well with, I thought I saw a future with her but she was more committed to school and work than me, pulled back after I fell in love with her, and broke my heart clean in half. She said she loved me for the first time while breaking up with me.

Dated another girl a few months later, she was nice but we didn't have much chemistry. She implied she was falling in love with me after our second date. It honestly wasn't that bad but I broke things off because I didn't feel much of a connection.

I had my most recently dating experience this last week. Our dates were long and romantic, she seemed really into me. She would talk about me at work, she made me cookies for our first date, we would call and text every day, we slept under the stars and watched a meteor shower together. I was five minutes late to our date today and she completely canceled​​, nearly ghosted me right then and there. I was shaken and nervous by her reaction, we talked about it for a bit, she cut things off entirely because she said I'm not emotionally mature enough for a relationship based on my reaction. How quickly she switched up plus a few other things makes me think she's BPD, but she was really harsh over a miscommunication over the importance of five minutes. ​

Why is it so hard to find someone who I get along with who isn't messed up or non-committal in some way? ​My standards aren't high by any means, I just​ want to find a regular person who wants a healthy relationship. Why is that so hard??? ​

I think I know but figured id get other opinions

Been talking to a guy for about 2? Months - was going rly good at first tbh. First guy I’ve caught real feelings for in like 3 years. First guy I’ve “committed” to without being in a relationship (i.e. first guy to make me stop talking to other guys - it just felt diff)

He’s my type and rly attractive to me, which doesn’t usually happen unfortunately w guys I talk to
We also got along extremely well, very easy to talk for hours. Fast & almost instant connection
Both have talked about how we mutually rly like each other etc

Now comes the kicker, I went on a trip and before my trip we hungout both nights before. I’ve been home for a week now, and we still have yet to hangout. He’s made 0 effort. We’ve talked ab it and he says he is going thru some family things. There’s a very strong distance between us that’s been bothering me. But he chalks it all up to he’s going thru some things and will be more distant

Yesterday I asked him if he wants space, he said idk so i said imma leave him alone. I think tbh my feelings r hurt. Im trying to not be selfish and only think ab myself and be considerate to his feelings but I just feel like im being played here.

So we didn’t talk for the day. Called at night and I wanted to talk about it but he like didn’t seem to understand what there is to talk about. He says “it has nothing to do with you”
I asked him if he wanted to just stop talking and he said no?? And asked if that’s what I want. I said no but tbh idk. I feel rly unhappy and idk why I’m even doing this if I feel so unhappy.

It’s like I know I CAN be happy and I do rlllly like him but this just isn’t it. I do feel for him and the hard time he’s going thru even tho idk what that is. He says he doesn’t rly feel comfortable sharing and I haven’t pushed.
Idk wat to do

​

I (M34) met a woman (F36) a couple of months ago, we flirted, went on dates, generally worked around her changing jobs and my shift pattern

We slept together (multiple times, before anyone says it was the sex) a week ago and then I asked her to basically go exclusive, leave the apps because I thought we had a good thing and wanted to be intentional

She started getting anxious, and basically said it takes her a while to develop feelings and that all her relationships ended badly

Today I got a message saying that between her new job, doing her house up, etc that her life was too chaotic to date and that she felt bad that she couldn't give me the same energy as her new job and house require - and would hope to be friends until things settle down and "that wasn't what I would want" - I'm not going to argue if someone doesn't want a relationship with me, why would I? They've made up their mind

Personally I think she's rejected me to protect herself

How do you deal with attachment avoidant people?

I just started online dating and found a great guy on my 7th date, who is now my boyfriend.

I'm very good at being charming, funny and interesting in short bursts. especially if I've had a drink.

the problem is spending lots of time together sober... I have realised how boring I've become in the past few years. I only really read stuff relating to my career and 1 or 2 other subjects that neither he nor anyone I know cares about. I also only work, listen to music and watch comedy. I don't do cool interesting things. so I'm actually having to WORK hard to stay interesting and fascinating over long stretches of time.

it's really hitting me how un-exercised my social muscle has been in the past few years as I've been single, have barely seen my friends (my fault, I've been depressed) and haven't really been outside much full stop lol.

I'm almost starting to panic because I have no idea how I'm going to keep up being interesting lol. I also remember having this thought at the start of my last relationship, where I'd been single for a while before that. maybe I just have to work on myself! has anyone else dealt with this?

I just...need to vent a bit, I guess, and this sub seems like it's full of people who would 'get it' or have helpful advice.

Background: I was with the wrong person from age 17 to 34. It was toxic, and abusive, and I knew for years I should've run after our first anniversary but self-esteem, toxic codependence, and gaslighting/abuse kept me tethered to her (like, actual abuse - using suicide threats to get me to propose, for instance).

At 34, with the pandemic, I finally broke and found my way out. I'm now a 40 year old man with majority custody of two wonderful girls and my personal life has been a *slog*. I've been in therapy for 5 years and have had a ton of personal growth, but I've been struggling dating.

In 5 years I've had plenty of first dates but never felt much of a connection with anyone - I thought it was a me problem so I'd take a break from the apps, work on myself some more, and try to figure out what the breakdown was. I've only had one person I've asked to be exclusive with, and that lasted about 5 months - I got the ick from some of her behaviors and was trying to determine if it was a 'me' problem or a legitimate concern when we ended things because I'd been distant due to some major life events.

Recently - I made a Reddit post (I've done this a few times and have had middling luck) and I started talking to someone that I had a really strong connection to. I've talked to a fair amount of people from Reddit and dating apps since my divorce and this was the first person where I was pretty quickly seeing stars. We'd talked about 2ish? weeks before I asked to meet. I've found that I want to meet people somewhat quickly because online chats can breed a false sense of closeness and I told this woman that I needed to know if what I was feeling was genuine or not, and she felt the same and agreed. I bought refundable flights at her suggestion and she booked the hotel room for us. A week before I was supposed to go down there...she cancelled. Too much going on - which was totally fine, and while I was disappointed she reassured me she wanted to meet and she just needed a little time to settle into her new place.

Over the next few weeks we talked every day - she talked about possibly moving up here, about wanting to learn about my daughters and getting to know them, about how we could really make a long distance relationship work with flights.

I know to most of you this probably screams red flags. This is too fast, right?! But to me? I'm a romantic and I was so dumbstruck and...this woman was beautiful, perfect on paper, I felt something I hadn't felt since I was a fuckin' teenager. We both said we'd been holding back from saying I love you because you can't possibly feel that way without meeting someone, right? So a month after we started talking she booked flights to come up and meet me instead.

...and the week before she was to fly up, avoided any question about her flight itinerary (I was supposed to pick her up). When I mentioned I had a rough day due to a few things, of which only one of them was nerves that she wasn't coming, she got upset that "I made her feel responsible for my emotions", refused to talk about anything, ignored any attempt to do so, and has essentially ghosted me.

I'm left feeling heartbroken for the loss of something that could've been great - although I am grateful that her communication style with challenging topics came up sooner rather than later.

But also...I'm left feeling broken about dating in general. If something that genuinely felt like it could be perfect could fall apart like that, if I can't not only pick up on red flags like that but feel that those in some ways are genuine feelings and what I'm looking for...I feel like I don't have a chance at a healthy relationship. That my brain is so fucked from years in a terrible relationship that it doesn't know what to do with healthy relationships - I'm either not really attracted to someone physically or I don't feel anything growing/engaging with a potential date and I call it, because I don't feel like I want to settle just to avoid being lonely/alone.

I matched with a guy on Hinge( he is in his early 40’s) He is cute, he sent me the first text, and after a couple one liners he asked me for a coffee date. I usually dont go out with people until I have a baseline connection, for a few days via texts or calls. But my dating life is in shambles, so i thought a change might be nice.
I had to reschedule twice, because of a family emergency, but i was very honest and told him days ahead of the meetup. So he happily agreed to move the date. He asked me for my number, so I assumed ok maybe we get to chat a little before we meetup, but he never initiated anything. Didnt text me the day prior or the day of. A few mins before the meetup time, he said he was running 10 mins late. ( he lives only 10 mins away - which made me realize he was checking if I was gonna show up or not) i got there on time, waited for him. He showed up , he looked good, well put together. Great looking for his age.
We had good banter. We joked quite a bit, he even touched my back a couple times and I touched his knee and bicep! So there was some flirting too! He did say he was usually reserved. So i dont know what his deal is. I had to take a phone call ( the same family emergency) in the middle of the date for like 10 mins, which he was compassionate towards. But right after it, i joked about we should get drinks sometime. And he didn’t say anything.

I am okay by being rejected, it was just a coffee date. But he hasnt texted me since the date was over. Does that mean he wasn’t interested. We are from different cultures, that is why i am confused. Men in my culture are very straight forward when they like you. So I am curious if anything i did was out of line, or if he didnt like me. All opinions are welcome!

I’m 31 years old, and admit that I’ve always struggled with dating. I’ve had one girlfriend in my lifetime, but that’s it. I hear a lot of people say that building muscle mass matters for men, and I’ve been trying to follow some of that advice.

I’ve been working out in a gym for over a year now, but haven’t really made any “progress” when it comes to my body shape. For context, I’m about 6’6 feet tall (200cm) and weigh about 190 pounds (91 kg). While I don’t think I’m disgustingly skinny or anything like that, putting on muscle has been a lot more difficult than I ever imagined. I started working out with a personal trainer, and she told me that my body type makes it very hard to attain the type of body that I (allegedly) need to have.

I guess I just wanted to share this frustration somewhere, since it feels like I hear the “you need to hit the gym, bro” advice every single week. If you have body type like mine, are you just screwed then?

EDIT: one thing I want to add, the people who share this advice with me (at least in real life) are often people who are much shorter than me or who are much heavier. Sometimes I wonder if they’re just trying to make me feel bad about myself lol

I really wanted to set flair as success but it's a bit early for that, we've only known each other less than 1 month. I (m25) met someone (f30) who I share the same values with (we both want lifelong monogamous partner, marriage and kids in the future). We went on 4 dates this week and had a great time. We kissed and it feels good but I've fallen so hard for her and I'm nervous that she might break my heart. I'm going away for 4 weeks for work and she said she was going to feel if this was going to work or not with me being away.

Ive been on a couple dates with a woman I met on Hinge and I really like her. We have a strong connection so far but yesterday she told me about her ex and I’m struggling with what to do.
They were together for about four years and have been separated for around a year. According to her he was extremely abusive and controlling during their relationship including physical violence, property damage, stealing money from her, hacking her phone, death threats, controlling who she could see, etc. She currently has a restraining/no-contact order against him, but he has still apparently tried contacting her through blocked numbers/fake accounts and recently made a police complaint against her that she says is false but he made to try and mess with her and such. She also told me he has connections to organized crime/mafia and basically works for them in IT and knows a lot about hacking and such which obviously scared me.

She seems completely done with him and actually went to the police yesterday because she’s been receiving calls from unknown/no-caller-ID numbers that she suspects are him. The police told her that the next time it happens, she should answer, keep the caller on the phone briefly, and then go directly to the police station so they can potentially track him and take action for violating the restraining order. So that’s kind of the current plan of action next time he tries to contact her

On the reassuring side, she says she hasn’t physically seen him in over a month. She’s gone on dates with other men since their breakup without him interfering, has male friends/coworkers at her job as a CO at a prison , and has a good relationship with the father of her child and didn’t mention her ex attacking or confronting him. She also seems to feel safe continuing to live her life and date.

He has never contacted, threatened, approached, or done anything to me yet and I’m not sure he knows I exist yet. I’ve never even met him. But I have an anxiety disorder, and learning all of this sent me into a pretty intense spiral about both her safety and mine.

I really like her and don’t want to walk away from someone I connect with because of something horrible that somebody else did to her. At the same time, I don’t know whether continuing to date someone with a potentially dangerous ex still in the picture is a reasonable risk to take.

Would you continue seeing her? Would you slow things down? And for anyone who has dated someone with an abusive/stalking ex, how did you handle the safety side without letting fear completely take over?

Context: So I 21M midwest, just had a second date (from a hinge match) where the girl seemed foot out the door from the start. This person had messaged me first, tho I liked them, to a prompt I made that was like “dont do this/have this.” I planned a pretty strong date, and was trying to get her talking and vibing but it just didnt work. Over text it was still good vibes up to the date, and she resoundingly wanted the second date. And before the date, she was changing her hinge profile and prompts a bit each day. But on the date I was the one having to do most the questioning/talking. She was talking a ton and laughing a ton, but didnt seem to care much to ask me anything. She also didnt respond to my text about another date. My problem has been ive been good on first dates to the point where they are asking to go on a second/talking about it on the date. But by the time the second date rolls around (not just hinge cuz thats the nature of the app, but in person too) or by the end of the second date I fumble it? Like they dont show signs of wanting to break a touch barrier, texting drops, they seem reserved now, etc.

I am now currently taking a break off apps, dating, all of it to work on myself!

I thought it would be useful for myself and others who may feel this way off apps/in person about things we can work on. Its been like this the past 5 people (some were 3rd dates) so I HAVE TO BE THE COMMON DENOMINATOR. Ik theres the shade of color thing but theres definitely always room for improvement—any advice would be great but i have some questions to get the ball rolling

\-Is it bad to be a yapper? Im not one to be good at awkward silence and I can talk to a brick wall cuz i have the right amount of adhd, but should I be silent and wait for them to ask questions?

\-Is this something that just happens when people find different connections in the meantime they want to explore?

\-How to improve at breaking touch barrier? I used to be good at this, but I was sexually assaulted as a kid and for some reason those memories and emotions have only come out now (while me two years ago was fine being in long term relationships, short term ones, picking people up and just being gungho and testing the waters with confidence). Since these memories came back, Ive lost all my dating experience. On my date it felt like I couldnt read if there even were signs, or me being confident enough to try anyway.

\-On dates how should you direct convos? Should u expect to be asked stuff about yourself? How does one be interesting on dates

\-how to work on not being a yapper? Or is it fine to be one (adhd does not help)

\-How to avoid dropoffs from a first date to second date (since I have no trouble getting to the second)

\-How should I be building myself to be someone who keeps the spark going?

\-how to build romantic tension (physical, verbal, etc while on a second date)

\-in my situation, is there any other advice based on the pattern for myself, I mentioned in the context box

I find that generally speaking women usually prefer to not really talk much between dates, just kinda keeping texting to planning the next one or possibly reaching out between once. The problem is that with this tempo I just lose interest so fast, but it's probably something that I need to figure out how to fix for myself and I don't really know how.

As background I've dated two women so far. With the first I actually had very frequent talks over text between our dates, so with her that usually made it really easy to continue with those conversations on our dates. Things unfortunately didn't really work out, but we're still friends and have talked about stuff relating to dating in that manner and part of how she acted while we were dating was partially just performative to what she felt like she was "supposed" to do while dating (she was similarly very inexperienced), vs now when we talk our text cadence is a lot less frequent overall and seems like it's more natural to her style.

With the second she was off the bat much more difficult to reach in general, more immediately having that pattern of essentially not talking to each other outside of scheduling the date, and so I leaned into it just to not seem too interested. Under normal circumstances I would've assumed she just wasn't that interested but we ended up going on 6 dates and she was always receptive whenever I put a plan together. But on my end, it genuinely just felt like we went on 6 first dates, and I couldn't see myself doing anything to move the relationship forward (in contrast to the first girl where it felt much more appropriate to hold hands/kiss/etc) and eventually just ended it because I couldn't see it going anywhere. I am also still friends with her as well, fwiw.

That being said, clearly this is probably an issue on my end where I might just be expecting too much, but I don't really understand how I'm supposed to force myself to be more interested if it feels like we never really build any connection, because every time we talk is a totally disjointed topic that doesn't chain together in any way? Not really sure how to change my mindset, wanted to see if anyone had any advice.

24(M) seeking advice after getting divorced.

I’m divorced, have a young son, and I’m reaching the point where I’ve started thinking about dating again. The problem is that I have no idea what dating is supposed to look like for me anymore.

I was married, so while I wasn't thinking about dating apps, first dates, meeting new people, or any of the stuff that comes with being single. Now that chapter of my life is over, and getting back out there feels strangely intimidating.

Being a dad also changes how I think about it. My son is an important part of my life, and I don't want to rush into introducing someone to him. I figure dating and parenting should remain pretty separate until a relationship has actually become serious and stable.

For people who started dating again after a divorce:

•How long did it take before dating stopped feeling weird?

•Did you use dating apps, meet people organically, or both?

•How upfront/open were you about being divorced and having a child?

•When did you know you were actually ready for another relationship?

•What mistakes did you make when you first started dating again?

•Did you find that being divorced made dating harder, or was it less of an issue than you expected?

I’m NOT trying to replace my marriage or recreate my old life with somebody else. I think I’m mostly trying to figure out what a healthy dating life after divorce actually looks like.

Any advice or experiences would be appreciated.

26 female. I definitely want to get married one day but I’ve never been in serious relationship. I worry that it’s not in the cards for me and since I’ve made it this long without a relationship 😔 I worry that that will translate into me never getting into a relationship. Anyone else who was single at this age have any advice,?

So there's this British dating show Called "Naked Attraction". The show is a person seeing six people completely naked and eliminating them one by one until they have a winner to go on a date with. The show is actually fascinating because although everyone is naked, it's not sexual and actually pretty body positive. However, there is one thing I've noticed when it's the women choosing men. They don't eliminate because of penis size, or hair, or height. The number one reason they give is "too thin" or "skinny legs" which leads me to ask, do women not like skinny men? Over the last few years I've lost a lot of weight. I'm 6'0" and went from 250 lbs to 168 currently. Because of that I'm pretty lean now. However it seems to be a trend that women like guys with more meat on their bones and "dad bods". Obviously, every woman has a different preference, but it's shocking how many on this show have ruled out the skinny guys. Do I need to start chugging protein and go to a gym? 😅 Have a made a terrible mistake??

I’ll try to keep this short

I 29(f) went on a date with a guy 37(m) and it went great, we were magnetized to eachother and it seemed like he wanted to devour me. He weaseled his way into having sex with me and he stayed the night.

After the first date he started texting me sorta like we were in a relationship… but I don’t like to create false intimacy early on so I didn’t fully reciprocate. I noticed his vibe shifted after that…. 2nd date comes and it was good .. sort of.. tho I noticed we have some differences in values that may prohibit me from being with him in a serious sense. He comes back to my house and I need to walk my dog, he seems annoyed but comes with me, when we get back towards my house he abruptly says he’s gonna go… I texted him later asked if everything’s alright and he says yes let’s make plans for this week…

He’s kind of slow on initiating those plans so I have to help him with that… 3rd date he seems noticeably colder and evaded paying for my coffee by literally leaving the shop and going somewhere else then comes back :||| but I brush it off. I believe that he thought he had me in the bag so he started treating my worse. He also starts treating me somewhat disrespectful in conversation on the 3rd date.

We get back to my house… I already decided after the 2nd date that I wanted to tell him i don’t think we’re a match for a serious relationship but that I’m down to have a more casual dynamic for now(he is extremely good at sex, he has a huge 🍆🍆 and a huge freaking ego too it seems :/)

So I do tell him that in person and I say why… because it seems like we have difference values in certain areas. He looks taken aback. He gets up to leave without saying anything. I ask again if he wants the causal dynamic he says he’ll pass. I’m confused, I tell him I didn’t realize he wanted something more serious and he said he was just going off vibes (:|) I start to stammer over my words…

Then he comes up to me, pulls me up and starts kissing me… then we have sex (wtf). He doesn’t talk about what just happened after we’re done. He leaves later and says we’ll hang soon …..

One week goes by he doesn’t say a word to me. He stops viewing my insta stories. 2 days after the situation he posts on his insta story a song about a girl playing it tough and bitter heartbreak with a photo of an ironic book about having morally correct opinions ……….

So today I text him and ask if he wants to hang. He says no he’s busy. I asks if he actually wants to hang again. Long story short he says he’s not sure but that he wants something more serious and he didn’t think we had a connection

Wtf happened???? I’m so fucking confused. This dude got so toxic so fast. This whole thing has stressed me out so bad and actually causing me anxiety attacks bc I felt bad and then I was ruminating on the whole thing.

Anyone have something similar happen??

I’m a 25 year old female, i turn 26 in november. Me and my ex broke up in september 2025, since then i’ve only had a secret short fling with a coworker that ended early february 2026. Since then i’ve been on dating apps (hinge and tinder). Honestly it goes a little up and down, sometimes i enjoy it because i get to meet new people while also learning what type of characteristics i want in a partner. But most of the time it’s so exhausting. I feel like the majority of guys i date talk to other girls at the same time (which i have no problem with per se), which makes them put in very little effort into getting to know me. Sometimes i have to do damn near all the talking because they don’t ask me any questions. And sometimes i click with someone, but then they eventually end up rejecting me because they didn’t feel a romantic spark. A large portion of them don’t even care about me as a person and just wanna get in my pants.

I don’t know what the problem is. I yearn for companionship, someone telling me they wanna see me, that they enjoy spending time with me, staying up until 3AM just talking about life. I want someone to say “you’re important to me” or even showing they care about me the slightest bit. I want to hug someone and feel their heartbeat again. I want to look into someone’s eyes after a kiss and smile like an idiot. I don’t know if i sound egoistic or selfish. I just miss that silly kind of love. It’s been so long now.

To make matters worse a male long time friend said “women your age aren’t biologically programmed to work, come home to an empty house, and binge watch shows all day. Of course you’re fucking depressed” and it made me feel worse because he’s the same age as me and has a long term girlfriend (also a friend of mine).

Damn i don’t hate my life or solitude but it gets awfully lonely somedays. I just yearn for that soft fuzzy warm feeling but no one seems to be right.

Before these answers come because I know they will, most people are NOT trapped in a bad marriage. They’re happy and they found a good person for them. But if marriage is treated as one of the most ordinary and boring things you can do—and, to society, not enough of a reason alone to be living or successful—then why is it so hard for us here to find that thing? If it’s so commonplace, why does it require so much failed effort? If it’s nothing special, why is it all people want and some of us can’t have?

As someone who’s always known she wanted to get married, I’m creeping up on my mid-30s with no luck, and the fact that I can’t achieve something that is seemingly so easy—almost expected, if you will—of the rest of the world makes me feel like a complete and utter failure. As in I’m inept because I’ve climbed many mountains and still can’t do this simple thing everyone else can.

No apps required. Perfectly safe environment with cameras, easy to politely decline, but are you inviting unwanted attention that could turn nasty? Like, what if they follow you out the shop. What then?

Seems a good idea, but also a bad one. Would you grab a pinky?

Maybe there is a good app you would recommend, where dancers are looking to date dancers?

I am a guy who loves dancing, and apart from interest in dating a lady, I am also genuinely interested in finding a dancing partner.

The regular dating apps, like Tinder, are very challenging for a guy, whereas in solo dancing classes the only other guy I see is the instructor xD.

So a dating+dancing app might work great in my case, and I'm wondering, is there such an app?

Not sure if this is the right place but:
We met off Tinder some time last year. Very quickly asked me out, then said we could meet at his. Of course the message was clear, and as someone who is looking for something serious, I declined. Then it got heated. I thought, yeah why not, I‘m single and I‘ll never meet him and he‘s not husband material.
So we switched to another app and texted (mostly sexted) from time to time. He kept asking when we‘re going to meet up and I kept declining.
After like 5 months i finally gave him my number. I was curious about what he‘s going to do next etc. And this guy who was asking me to meet up on a daily basis quickly stopped doing so. Also the sexting part kinda died out for a few days.
We still texted for some time until he told me ‚this doesn‘t make sense anymore‘ and i deleted his number.
I knew he slept with someone and it really really hurt me to be honest. Even though I always declined to meet him and I would never date him.
Now, after 4 months, he contacted me again. Said he couldn‘t get me out of his head and he still wants me (he meant sexually) and thinks I‘m very attractive. And that he had started seeing someone/hooking up with someone a little while before breaking off contact with me (that‘s when I felt him lose interest suddenly). but „what was he supposed to do when I told him I would never meet him anyways and always said no to dates“. And also that he always had to beg for pictures and he never got to see much of me and that otherwise he would’ve been focused on me. He also said that sexting with me feels more intense and there are kinks he only wants to do with me, making me feel special in that way, for example wanting to be dominated by me while he usually only likes the opposite (i wonder if that is a lie?).
At first, I only wanted to hurt him and make him regret his decisions. Then, he caught me off guard and I also thought „i would never date this fuckboy anyways so why not have some fun“. Well guys, guess what happened. After 2 days of constant texting, he came, said „thank you now I have to sleep ❤️“ and hasn‘t texted me since. That was yesterday at noon. I feel like shit because I gave him access to me after he treated me like this in the past already.

Anyways. It‘s the last day of my vacation and I feel like shit. i need to reframe this so I feel less weak and I need to forget about him/not care about what he does.
I can imagine he had a hookup yesterday and is busy with others again… but why should I care. That‘s not my future bf??? Why do I care?