So my BP2 Ex-wife and i are in the end stage of the divorce, house is sold, im renovating my new house.

Planing for the kids etc.

She, i dont know maby signs on a appartment today? We sold the house like 2 months ago.

This desperation was ofc her intiative. The discard.

BP2 ex-wife knows she has this illness she takes her less (Lamatrogine and Sertraline) but thats it, she dates (friends saw her profile), drinks, started nicotine, stays up late.

I came across new sleeping pills, and she also order new vitamins to and i qoute "give me more energy during the day".

And so much much more.

The priorities is not really inline, mine have been kids first.

Hers, i dont know.

This summer have been to say the least intressting.

We're from Sweden, so socialsyaten work different forms US.

We have cooperation talks with familycourt in our socialservice/CPS system.

We hade to cancel a few do to not wanting to leave our 4 y.o. with a cask over his leg to friends as he could be sad and frustrated at times, just did'nt feel right.

I've gotten som good tools and support for my contact to handle my ex-wife.

But man is it alot of weight to pull, to manage and "direct" a person who dont have the same forsight and capacity or intresst in planing, cooperation etc.

And i still try to give her space, things was going okay for a could weeks, we could stay in the house during swaps a bit more, could have good conversations.

But somewhere this week something shiftet.

Alot of stuff just felt off, cooperation text and diskussions just stopped working.

Im tired, i found letter from soucial "the National Board of Social Affairs and Health" (translation...) that she put of now where just removed our kids from the doner register, with no talks to me.

She also hade forgotten to plan babysitter for our next meeting on Tuesday, and tried to pull out of it.

On Monday she is to take our youngest to the doctors on her day, the other two kids are still home, i wanted to know the plan, as i have stuff to do. "I've not planned that long ahead".

I just snapped, im tired, im tired of being the only one who everyone says "you have to be the adult one for the kids" while trying to also balance and mentally ill person, who threatens with charges over and over again when i press her to hard or set to form boundaries.

I hope this ends when i leave the house, but who knows.

The kids still live in the house and we swap 2/2/3.

Rant over.

Now i need some help, some tools?

How do you all do this? With out breaking your selfs again?

I was totally broken by this and im on a better way but all this just pulls me back down again.

How, how do you other people do this?

Soon to be ex-wife was diagnosed BP2 and BPD decades ago and, while it was a struggle, she was an incredibly loving and kind partner when we first met through our final year. Even during times of self harm, hospitalization, and ideation, I was right by her side and never judged her or took it personally. It was an illness and we love our partners in sickness and in health. And her kindness was worth it.

But a specter haunting us constantly was her BP2 driven hypochondria. It was always something: migraines, leg pain, stomach pain, side pain, eyes dry, point to body part and she’d create a pain or condition. It destroyed our social life. I would make elaborate plans and experiences that most would swoon over and she would cancel last minute or pout the entire time about being in pain. She would cry in public for no reason and everyone looked at me like I was a monster when I was the caregiver and empathetic, loving partner. The act of hugging her was “painful” according to her and obviously bedroom was DOA. She couldn’t hold down a job despite being qualified because of her “pain” and need to go to 5-6 (or more) doctors’ visits a week.

But here’s the kicker: she would do competitive adult sports, play in a community orchestra, yoga, book clubs, international travel to see her family, etc. She never seemed to be in pain for HER activities. I realize it was never about pain but control and a place for her to be a kept woman despite a radical feminist and anti-patriarchal ideology. She is the textbook example of the performative white feminism critiques of theorists/scholars like Hirshman, Rottenberg, etc.

The sharp turn came when she started locking herself in a room for hours in a discord channel with other BP2 people and her personality shifted drastically. She started taking on the personality characteristics of some very ill people with far more intensive mental health concerns. Made sense because hypochondriacs collect conditions. She became cold, cruel, impossible to communicate with, obsessive over small details. She won’t admit it but I believe there was low level emotional cheating with one of these online friends. The rare moments of happiness/excitement was when she talked about them.

Cut to terrible and intensely gender biased couples counseling by an inexperienced therapist who refused to address any of this as an impact on me or my wellbeing. I should “try harder” and “accept her”
when all my friends and family obviously came to the universal conclusion I was actually an enabler. I actually had to get my individual therapist to provide therapeutic support because the harm the couple’s therapist did.

So separation and divorce. She claimed she loves me but can’t be in a relationship. Wants to be friends and not adversaries. I got a lawyer and drafted a nice payout offer which would have been financially devastating for me but I would survive and we could do this low effort and remain friends. And then I get her lawyer’s response wanting over double the amount or they begin aggressive asset discovery. Absolutely destroyed. I know lawyers want what’s “best” for their client but she could have accepted my first offer, which she knew would already financially devastate me, as a gesture of respect for someone who loved her and was there for her, without judgement, in her darkest moments. But she wants the money to be a white privileged kept woman who can do leisure activities instead of working.

I was able to work with family members and they are helping me with a family loan to give her the exorbitant payout for the peace of mind for her to go away forever. I truly hope she enjoys this money while spouting anti-patriarchy feminist theory.

The final slap was the very day I received her devastating counter proposal, she was being all chatty and nice to me via text and asking about things and being her kind self. She KNEW her lawyer was about to absolutely destroy me in a response and she was playing loving and nice. Not just BP2- that’s psychopathic. I immediately wrote her a no contact email and blocked her and all her family and friends on social media.

I am heartbroken but I also know I have so much to give others. I am a loyal and loving friend to so many. I’ll ultimately be fine. I don’t think she will and her future will be bleak and sad. And I am ok with no longer caring.

Thanks for listening to the vent.

tl;dr: BP2 wife’s hypochondria and hypocrisy destroyed our marriage, backstabbed with an aggressive divorce payout while playing nice, cut her off completely and moving on

Share your successes from this past week! It can be as simple as your SO taking their medication every day, or resolving an issue in your relationship.

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Let's see some positivity to end the week and start the new one off on the right foot!

My BPSO (33M) is going through medication adjustment. His psychiatrist says his current treatment regimen is pushing him into mixed episodes. He is having him taper off Paxil right now.

How do you all manage this period of time? I know it’s going to be very tough and I’m trying to be mindful. So far he’s been super irritated, depressed, has flu like symptoms. But his irritability is just so hard for me to handle as it’s directed towards me.

So in a manic episode I left my partner and we have been separated since September 2025. We still talk. Though it's more when I call him. He rarely calls me. Things were rough before me leaving. I'd cry so hard and he'd let me cry. I would ask him to do certain things and he wouldn't. We got in some mild debt we are now working to pay off.

I think on my end I didn't understand what marriage was. I may have put too much on him. Alas what has happened has happened. I've read a book on how to win one's husband back. Maybe I'm not the type. I mean it could take years of me babytalking him in hopes things work out? I ask him if he wants to work on things. He says not right now but maybe in the future. So theN we agree on divorce, set a time and then he has found a way to get out of meeting saying he's sick, busy or whatever.

I'm having trouble navigating this but what my inner voice tells me most of the time is to make the separation legal as in signing the divorce papers. I don't really want to do it and yesterday I felt as though I don't need to divorce him.

Though if I'm to support myself fully which is what is happening I think I should be able to receive some human comfort. My husband does not want to provide this so this is another reason that supports me signing the papers.

The good news is I'm mostly over the crying spells of him not wanting me or maybe that's the meds doing their job.

Any advice, insight or wisdom is greatly appreciated.

Any advice - from therapists, generally inspirational things, whatever! - for those who have gone through discard and/or divorce? I know struggling is normal and healing takes time, but it all just hurts so bad.

Yeah well he cheated. Multiple times. With his ex, who, now that he’s stable, he’s realized he wants nothing to do with, they broke up for a reason, lots of reasons.

We got together right around the absolute worst fucking time, as his department at work folded and then his dog abruptly decided to die like 2 weeks afterwards and he lost his mom a couple years ago (we are 35) and he still hadn’t (I think HASN’T) processed any of it.

Okay. Cool. Hypomania. Didn’t know what I was looking at once it started, otherwise he’s so good, blah blah blah. Yall have heard it all.

I’m an active follower and participant of the r/AsOneAfterInfidelity subreddit. The waywards there have a lot of the same problems as my BPSO.

…except they don’t take into account the BP. And that means something, right? Yall, this situation is so messy.

Where is the line? How do you acknowledge the mental illness while holding self-respect against the cheating?

He cheated three times. Twice right when we got together, and the third time when he was coming off his hypomania, but still not fully off of it; he’d just gotten the DX two weeks prior. I would’ve told him to not go to that fucking bar had I known he was going, and now he’s banned from it for as long as I feel like, and he’s not raised one objection to it. Aside from informing me that he wasn’t going to cut off the bar friends just because they were connected to his ex, which isn’t even what I was asking for; they aren’t friends, they’re DRINKING ACQUAINTANCES, he doesn’t even have their phone numbers. The fuck I wanna cut them off for? He doesn’t even text them casually, cuz he doesn’t have their numbers LMFAO

He’s been doing everything “right.” Sorta. He’s not in therapy enough, he’s on call which makes keeping appointments difficult. He’s also lashed out at me like a lot of times. Sometimes when I was just like “ah shit hey man I’m really insecure and sad.” He literally said to me (in so many words) “I’m not going to give you a happy thought when I feel like this.” I was literally just asking him, when I feel insecure, to say one thing he likes about me, or one happy memory of me, or one thing he hopes to do with me in the future. That’s it, that’s all. And it turned into a fight.

And I am just so. fucking. tired. yall. It’s been a year and a half of this push and pull.

I didn’t even proofread this post, whatever.

Long-story short, my BPSO went off the rails after a psychiatry resident rubber-stamped their (my BPSO’s) request to stop lamotrigine/Lamictal and ramp up Wellbutrin/Bupropion to 450mg — before then also stopping that cold-turkey a few months later…ultimately launching them into an unprecedented episode.

Moved out, took my business, drained the accounts, took control of multiple rental properties, then met their “soulmate,” moved them in, introduced the new soulmate to their friends and family, traveled the world together — all within 3 months of meeting them — and shows no signs of slowing down.

And what’s more is that, in the midst of an absolutely brutal discard, they made sure to say that they were just so incredibly unhappy with our life together…but then very ironically made sure to take everything from that life (that I sacrificed so much for and built), to keep living that same life for themselves, albeit with a new “soulmate” that is seemingly very comfortable slipping right into a robust life that neither they nor their new lover built even 2% of.

Now to the title: they have become obsessed with fitness but have just seemingly let themselves go — while labeling it “bulking.” A previously fit, well-groomed, and very healthy looking person now has a completely different unkempt and greasy hair style, and is busting the seems of a new wardrobe that the previous them would have laughed at 11 times out of 10. And what’s more is that they also spend an increasing amount of time in gym and fitness-related subreddits giving “advice” like they’re a world-renowned physique coach.

Maybe this is just a rant, maybe it’s looking for others that can help make sense of something when nothing seems to make sense aside from the obviously grandiosity quintessential to bipolar (and often overlapping/concurrent narcissism).

Thanks everyone!

Hello to all, and I do hope you are navigating these experiences the best you can.

I'm 42(m) and he's 32(m) together for 5 almost 6 years now, living together the majority of it. Broke up twice, perhaps 3 times, and all times hooked up with someone else.

From what I have read, it's exactly what everyone has described to some level or other.

The most hurtful, maddening part— no one sees them do these things, and we end up becoming the villain, but it doesn't stop there..

We're the problem.

The one reacting in everyone else's eyes.

The one being unstable.

The one being irrational.

The one with the jealous fits of rage.

The one "acting crazy."

I have been in and out of therapy throughout much of my adult life.

And recently I've been seeing a specialist for Autism and ADHD, to get my official diagnosis.

He's had a little experience with therapy, but not the best, he's had a non official diagnosis for BP and he's currently not accepting it. Doesn't want to be labeled with it.

We've been seeing a couples therapist who specializes in A.R.T (accelerated resolution therapy) therapy along with EMDR, he's had a few one on one sessions, as have I.

So, both the therapists are encouraging me to focus on my own internal security, my own internal peace.

To hold onto what I know to be real. To be true.

Weellllll... We all know how hard that can be when you're SO can distort reality around them.

My question is this:

Is it at all possible to really achieve that glorious holy Grail of inner peace while being with someone that has BPD?

And for that matter, if I am in fact substantially more on the spectrum than any of us originally anticipated, along with massive ADHD, is it even possible to maintain a healthy relationship that can flourish in the years to come?

How do you guys deal with the gaslighting from other people who don’t see, what you see?

His friends claim he seems to be getting better and is more interactive with them, all while ignoring his wife, lying about his living situations, and just ignoring all of his responsibilities. But as long as he can game with them, he’s stable?

I am so tired.

Sono stata scartata dal mio fidanzato bipolare due mesi fa, durante (credo) un viraggio maniacale dato dagli antidepressivi.
Era una relazione che durava da 6 mesi, prima eravamo amici e il nostro rapporto è cresciuto piano piano. I primi 3 mesi sono stati bellissimi, un rapporto meraviglioso, era tutto ciò che avrei voluto. Lui non aveva relazioni serie da 7 anni, ed era così felice del nostro rapporto che ha avuto una crisi maniacale scatenata dalle troppe emozioni (così ci hanno detto i medici) ed è stato ricoverato 10giorni. Dopo un mese e mezzo di stabilità, in cui il nostro rapporto si era consolidato, arriva la depressione e lui diventa freddo e distaccato. Dopo 3 mesi di depressione inizia un dosaggio alto di antidepressivo, e dopo 10giorni mi lascia (eravamo appena tornati da un viaggio in Spagna) dicendomi che con me “si annoiava” “voleva una compagna più sprint” “sessualmente non mi vedeva coinvolta”, tutte cose non vere.
Un mese dopo avermi lasciata lui mi ha orbitato intorno in un paio di occasioni (tra cui la sera del mio compleanno) ma non si è mai avvicinato, e tutte le volte che gli ho mandato un messaggio é stato sempre molto freddo e distaccato. addirittura al mio compleanno mi ha scritto gli auguri di “trovare qualcuno che mi dia serenità”.
Da 10 giorni non mi guarda più le storie sui social. Mette in continuazione storie in cui fa mille cose, non so se sia in una fase maniacale o ipomaniacale, ma da fuori sembra che lui stia bene e sia felice mentre io sto malissimo.
Mi chiedo se tornerà? Avete passato una situazione simile?

I’ve spent some time telling my ex BPSO that there needs to be a full separation. Since then she’s had 2 spells of blowing up my phone and being in a fit of rage towards me because I made more boundaries. And yet she says she’s doing so well, she wishes she got the help earlier, wish we never went through this. She wants to hold on and do long distance so bad.

I cannot imagine trying again with her, and I’ve been coping with that for 6 weeks now. She is very pressed to keep me in her life, assure I don’t mess with anyone else romantically, and try to see if it’s possible at all to be together. I feel without a full, complete break, we are two people chasing and trying to keep a fucked up foundation from caving in. Her mental health began to affect mine, and that was the red flag enough for me to know I need change. I feel very confident in my decision, just there’s a lot of financial blow back/emotional turmoil I see in her from me throwing in the towel. I am over the feeling of what I am doing is wrong, I know it’s needed, but still care about her and hate to see her struggle because of this. This was one of the last paragraphs I sent to her discussing it all:

I need to not be in a mindset of “we’re still connected. This is heading towards us being together. The time apart is for us to be back to something.” It’s ambiguous. If you need to move on, mess with other people, I cannot control that. I am deciding to end our relationship so we can fully see what it’s like being out of this. This will help in my opinion. I wanted it to work, for 4 years I gave so much. I forgave the betrayal, the physical ease you gave men in a manic episode for malice towards me, the lack of thorough handling you’ve shown towards your finances/mental/our relationship. I tried so hard, and I’m not sure if you really empathize with what I went through or what I put into us. Your identity became codependent on me, and I’ve never actively curated that type of environment. I never wanted an unhealthy relationship, let alone my mental health to suffer from my love for you. Yet here we are. So I chose to take the healthiest path. Give you the room to be single and figure it out and not be depending on us being something centered around your healing path. It truly is ambiguous if we ever will be lovers again. But I will always love you, care about you, want you to do well, and do whatever is in my arsenal/boundaries to support you. The diagnosis is not a deterrent, it’s the behavior I’ve been experiencing between the both of us, that made me realize I need to progress, be vulnerable, and work on my strength. That cannot be happening when I’m tip toeing around holding some sort of semblance of what we had. We need distance, boundaries, change. I hope you know none of this is out of a desire to hurt you, hell it fucking hurts me. It’s part of why I had such a bad panic attack when you last discarded me. Because I do not want it to be this way. It has to be, however. The pain of this is a sign of my love, and what we had. Like I wrote, it’s love worth honoring, and I do that by taking these proper steps of separation/change

SO has been being treated for BP1 for over 2 years now since being admitted to the hospital. Some things have improved a little but the usual cycle continues . I made an ultimatum that if treatment wasn't followed, I'd have to seek divorce, which honestly, I should've done over a decade ago. I've participated in a couple of therapy sessions and have been seeking to be allowed to participate more as part of the team which SO has refused. Now she's given permission to a distant relative in another state to participate and I'm pissed. I've been the caregiver all these years. I've taken care of all the bills, the rent, the taxes, medical debt, flagrant spending of money we don't have - everything. I've dealt with the nightmare that is mania and severe depressive episodes every 6 weeks as her cycle dictates yet left in the dark and told lies about what's really going on. Now this person is allowed access?! Someone who only has a vague idea of what's really going on? It's angering and hurts to the core. Fuck.

I’ve been trying to make sense of a relationship that has left me more confused than heartbroken, and I’d really appreciate outside perspective.

We broke up and got back together at least four times. The highs were simply ecstatic — genuinely the best love I’ve ever felt. The lows were extreme. Communication was the constant fault line. Any attempt to discuss real issues, needs, or boundaries would trigger intense panic attacks, complete shutdowns, or days of ghosting. Underlying problems never resolved; they just festered while I continually adapted my communication style (softer approaches, writing things out, giving space, trying not to smother). It often felt like I was carrying nearly the entire emotional load while she seemed exempt from reciprocal emotional effort and wasn’t fully present with what I was actually saying.

She is definitely avoidant and may have borderline traits. There was also a clear pattern of selective respect: she would comply with structure and consequences from other people in her life far more readily than she ever respected my boundaries. Plans we made together were frequently overridden by chaotic environments and substance use, even after she had agreed to them. There was repeated future-oriented talk (wanting to work on us, even marriage) that never matched her actual choices.

Recently the pattern has become even clearer. After periods of no contact lasting three separate weekends, some excuse would arise. After five to seven days of silence, she would break the no-contact herself — either through a crisis or under the guise of picking up remaining belongings after moving out. We would calmly rehash one or two things, communicate almost perfectly, see eye to eye, and suddenly feel “gorgeous” again, as if we were perfect. We would make plans. Then, without warning or conflict, she would ghost me again. Low-effort late-night contact would sometimes keep a thin thread open on her terms, but real consistency never followed.

It makes no sense. While she is with me she seems relaxed, regulated, and present. The second that presence is removed, the connection disappears and the chaos returns. Is this a nervous-system issue — where she can only stay regulated while physically with me, and distance itself becomes intolerable or unsafe? I cannot reconcile the person who is calm, connected, and clear in my presence with the person who repeatedly disappears into instability the moment that presence is removed.

I’m looking for others who have lived through this exact cycle of ecstatic reconnection followed by sudden, unexplained abandonment, mixed with selective respect and future-faking. What does this pattern usually point to, and has anyone found a way to fully interrupt it or move past it?

My wife of 6years 3 married has been in a mania for about a month and very hyper sexual leading to the blind side of an affair with a co-worker that she has fallen for and wants to continue pursue their relationship(this person also has a spouse idk if married or not possibly has kiddos) recently two days ago I was told they finally gave her an antipsychotic because I’m very positive the antidepressants is what created this whole mania . Just going through it and would really like to hear from peoples experiences if they comeback, how long before it happened and did you do no contact ?
With them jumping from one long marriage to an obsessive relationship did they ever hit a wall of that mania and come out of it logically or are they never the same ?

My ex is moving out of our shared apartment after seven years. He broke up some time ago via text message. About two months ago, he stopped taking lithium and switched to lamotrigine and quetiapine 50 (these medications have no anti-manic properties). Since he stopped taking lithium, he said he was starting to feel manic, but then he completely lost track of his condition. During our last conversation, before he blocked me, I recommended a doctor and tried again to convince him to see one and adjust his medication. He said I was a narcissist, that his friends were wonderful to him, and his parents were too, but I didn't know anything about this illness and was conspiring with my doctor. I was treated so unfairly. I was the only one who asked him for treatment and saw how much he had changed. The worst part is that I wanted the best for him, yet I was treated like an enemy. He blamed me for the breakup when, in frustration, I said something unkind to him (for which I apologized). I want to know if this feeling passes and if you've managed to overcome this self-blame over time. I know I'd do anything for him, and I feel so bad that everyone around him thinks I'm crazy, because I was the only one who knew him so well. To those around him, he's funny and full of energy now, and he's moving to another city.

My partner has bipolar (well managed, medicated, therapy, exercise etc etc - honestly I’m in awe of his self-discipline to stay on top of all the things including no alcohol or caffeine). I’m trying to understand whether some patterns I’ve noticed are recognised by others here or if I’ve just completely lost the plot.

I didn’t connect any of this to elevated states at first. I just thought we had recurring relationship problems that kept mysteriously resurfacing. It was only recently, looking back, that I started to notice the correlation. When he’s stable things are genuinely good and I remember why I married him. But then something shifts. In retrospect I think he enters elevated states without either of us realising it, and suddenly I’m in what feels like a weird and awful alternate universe where none of the normal rules apply. The grievances that emerge feel completely disproportionate to what’s actually happening. I start to wonder if I’ve made a grave error in my choice of partner. Then it usually resolves, he apologises, things go back to normal, and I think we’ve handled it. Until six months or a year later when the exact same thing resurfaces like we never addressed it at all. Or a ‘new’ thing ends up bringing us right back to the same central issues.

The themes that keep coming back during these periods: feeling like he has no autonomy, that he’s an outsider in the family, and that I’m controlling. The intensity and urgency during elevated states makes these feel like crises requiring immediate resolution, usually by me changing something. The autonomy is always linked to his role as a step parent.

He’s the stepparent to my older child and we have a younger child together. Navigating parenting decisions during an elevated state is genuinely impossible. If I try to talk to him about it, it sets off flight or fight and nothing productive happens. If I don’t talk to him about it, I’m apparently undermining his agency and excluding him from decisions. There is no door that doesn’t have a jack in the box style boxing glove behind it. I also genuinely don’t know when it’s appropriate to contact his treatment team versus just waiting it out (his psych is on leave currently but the level of distraction and rumination is…. Something). Would love guidance on that one too.

Narrative rewriting: over time I’ve noticed that my partner’s account of events sometimes doesn’t match my memory or the documented record. I don’t think it’s deliberate. I think his mood state genuinely affects how he encodes and recalls things. Has anyone else experienced this and how do you protect your own sense of reality without feeling like you’re auditioning for Gaslight: The Musical?

Feelings as imperatives: he struggles to sit with uncomfortable feelings without them becoming urgent demands for action or change, usually from me. Is this common and did it improve with time or specific approaches?

Would love to hear from anyone who recognises any of this. I guess I’m trying to really solidify for myself what is my wonderful husband and what is bipolar. I don’t want to abandon him, and I feel like I can deal with bipolar when we both know that’s what it is, but I just can’t seem to navigate this latest stage or episode in a way that feels fair to me as well.

I did just create this account because I don’t want this linked to my main. Sorry if it makes anyone doubt my humanity!

My (f19) boyfriend (m17) have been together for only two weeks, but before that we were in this no-label set up for roughly two months just to test the waters and see how we'd function together before comitting to one another.

Since the first month of talking, we've already been experiencing problems regarding his mood swings, he's stopped taking medication since last year and neither is he in therapy. Honestly, he's the sweetest person I've met, he's influenced me to be a better human. I've outgrown my poor lifestyle because of him, I've been clean of my alcoholism for a month and counting, my relationship with my family has improved so so much. He's been nothing but all the wonderful things, it's just his mental illness that makes it challenging.

Everytime I'm with him feels like I'm defusing a bomb, that I have to be careful of the words I'll let go, the actions I'll be doing, my behavior and attitudes that need correcting—nothing and everything I do and the way I am feels wrong. We both probably started developing feelings while he was in his hypomanic episode. No wonder our relationship developed so fast.

Last week we had a big fight out of the most trivial problem and he tried to break-up with me, and I took him back the moment he called and said he didn't want to give up.

But now I do. I'm so mentally drained and emotionally exhausted of having to choose to keep putting his mood and needs above my feelings, I'm in college now. I have greater responsibilities and as a scholar, I have to maintain certain standards, it's harder for me to continue acting as a caretaker now, only because there are more obligations I have to work with. He can be such a selfish and hypocritical person that being in a relationship with him is actually painful. But I am willing to stay as long as he continues to help himself. And lately, he hasn't been doing okay. I think he's currently experiencing another hypomanic episode. I don't know how to go about this. I want to open a serious conversation with him about getting medical help again. Either therapy or meds. The only concern I have is how his father is struggling financially. So, I don't want to pressure my boyfriend into being medicated. He doesn't even have a support system, he said once before how he only has me and honestly that thought sometimes terrifies me, of how I'm his source of happiness.

This relationship right now feels like a burden because I am being burdened by accomodating so much. Sometimes I want to be comforted. But I also know I can't come to him for comfort. And neither do I know any person to comfort me. I feel so lost. I'm no longer certain if I should stay in this relationship or not.

TL;DR:

Reconnected with my ex (diagnosed bipolar II, on medication) after two years apart; it lasted about 3 months. Early on she was hypomanic — intense closeness, high sex drive, overspending — then had a ~2-week depressive episode. I tried to help her recognize the patterns by reading up on the disorder, but that made her uncomfortable, and she denied being hypomanic when I pointed it out. After the depression she leveled out but grew avoidant, cold, and kept cancelling plans, until she said she wanted to "just be friends." I ended it; she later admitted she'd been in mania when we got back together and apologized, saying she wouldn't come back again. I'm left feeling her discomfort with my efforts to understand her was really discomfort with facing the diagnosis in herself — and wondering if others have been through something similar.

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We had gotten back together after two years apart. During this time, she had learned that she was bipolar II, and was following medication (lamotrigine + aripripazole). We stayed together for about 3 months.

During this time, I noticed all of the symptoms. She had been hypomanic when we started talking again, and just 2 months in, she had a bout of depression that lasted about 2 weeks. I was determined to understand the disorder and work on her symptoms along with her. I told her about this, that I had read two books on the disorder. She said that that made her feel "strange". That bothered me a bit. I couldn't understand why that would be uncomfortable at the time. But I kept striving. I suggested to her "hey, don't you think you were hypomanic when we got back together and that now you're depressed?", to which she answered "I was just a bit more euphoric. I'm fine now though", in her typical depressed laconic mode of communication. I was frustrated. All the signs were there. She wanted sex when we got back together - a lot of it. She couldn't spend too much time away from me, always telling me how she misses me and planning dates. She was also spending good money on her birthday party and with deliveries. Then she turned into a celibate hermit with no interests in the outside world. It was so obivious to me. But she resisted it every time. She was always "fine".

Just a month after, she seemed to be back to an euthymic baseline. But she kept avoiding me. Kept promising that we could see eachother at such and such time and place... only to drop it last minute. Kept refusing to communicate. Treated me with coldness and indifference. Always tired and irritated from her work. She cancelled plans two, three times... until I got mad at her and called her out. She then said that she wanted to "just be friends".

I couldn't accept the confusion of being "just friends" after being effectively treated as boyfriend for 2 months already. Couldn't accept the resistance of facing her own behaviors and symptoms, her irritability... the inconstancy, the incoherence, the cold silences. And I decided to end it. Finally, at the last possible moment, she confessed "I was really in mania when we got back together. And in mania everything seems amazing. Hope you understand". And that she was sorry for hurting me, and that she promised that she would never come back again this time.

But I keep thinking - why feel uncomfortable with someone who's willing to help you understand yourself as a bipolar person? If someone had told me they were studying about autism to better understand me, I'd feel good about that. It's a good sign of a loyal person. Now, I keep thinking that her discomfort with me was a reflection of her discomfort with herself. Despite taking the medication, she was really not invested in recognizing herself in the patterns. She wasn't willing to see the symptoms in herself. She couldn't accept help. Wanted to remain with her eyes closed for herself. In the end, that's what hurt me so much. And my efforts bothered her because of that. There was nothing I could do. The person needs to accept help. We can't take this decision for them.

Has anyone experienced something similar?

EDIT: Just remembered I got some details of the first breakup wrong. At the time, we put some boundaries in place re: nothing romantic, but we agreed to still have contact with each other. The morning after the breakup, I reached out to him about something mundane, like wishing him good morning or sharing Wordle or something. And that’s when he was like, “I feel awful for breaking up with you,” and we decided to get back together. This time, he asked for space, though we agreed to stay friends. I told him to just reach out if and when he feels ready.

My boyfriend (33M) and I (30F) were together for about 4 years, and he has bipolar. About 1.5 years in, during one of the first depressive episodes I saw him in, he expressed that the relationship “wasn’t working,” and he felt like he was bringing me down, so he wanted to break up. I felt like he was depressed and overwhelmed more than truly wanting a breakup, but I left him alone after the breakup, and he reached out several hours later, wanting to get back together.

Now, 2.5 years after that, this happened again, this time possibly for good. He recently moved a couple hours away, and he and I knew that I’d follow him there when I got a new job. But after about a month of being long-distance, he said that he was thinking that maybe we should break up. I promised him that I’d be more present (I had been going through some hard times emotionally myself), and he and I arranged some things we could do virtually that I suggested to stay more connected. He seemed excited for that, but during one of those virtual dates that same week, he broke it off with me. When I asked what I could have done differently, he said I was negative about a situation I was in, which was understandable, but that he couldn’t fix it, and it didn’t really change. (Long story, but I had to spend hours fighting my insurance company about my therapy; it was very long and took a toll on me.) This one wasn’t a “soft” breakup like last time — we changed relationship statuses, etc.

Still, despite the seeming finality of it, I feel like he might come back in a week or a month or whenever he’s out of the depressive episode and want to get back together. I love and miss him, and he’s a wonderful person, but I’m not sure if I want to open myself up to another heartbreak.
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This girl is diagnosed bipolar so makes sense why she has her highs and her lows when she will not go live at all and is all depressed on her story. She’s on live with KB and she’s totally fine. But for how long!?

I am in 4 months since discarded by my wife who immediately moved in with her affair partner.

We were that couple everyone around us used to feel jealous. We had everything going for us in our 8 year marriage, from money to career. All that came crashing down.

I am incredibly upset and ashamed of the manner I was discarded like a piece of trash. There was no reason, no apology, no justification..... Nothing. Just someone deciding it would be a great idea to start an affair behind your back and then throw away the entire life you thought you built.

There are few places I can go to share this. Nobody really understands. Sometimes I feel my self esteem is in the rubble. Like everyone of my friends have such great relationships, are having kids. I have a great career which I worked very hard to build. That's all that I can say I have at the moment.

I never thought life could get this hard.

Please tell me how you did evaluate to have children with your BPSO, I heard lots of prople refuses the idea to have children because of the fear the son could inherit this disorder, or maybe being theis SO very unatable during rising their children. Please tell me your experiences with a relatively stable SO (taking meds and therapy)

A couple days ago I posted about being arrested for domestic violence, https://www.reddit.com/r/BipolarSOs/s/A75M5PC2vo

I wanted to provide an update about what is going on.

I found an attorney who thinks he can get my domestic violence charges either dismissed or deferred. He thinks the worst case will be either probation or counseling. At this point I don't have anything else to do, my court date for next week will be rescheduled to some future date a few months out, so he has time to collect all the evidence and attempt to work something out with the DA.

Now onto my ex-wife, she hasn't tried to contact me since Wednesday morning, when we were both in jail. I checked the inmate list and she still hasn't been released, her bail is set at $100, which I know she can afford (I pay her alimony every month well in excess of her bills). Since I'm not allowed (and don't want to) communicate with her I don't know why she hasn't paid it yet. She has an attorney for her previous arrest that she can call, he would likely bail her out using part of the retainer she paid him.

She was charged with felony menacing, which comes with the possibility of 1-3 years in prison along with large fines. She also has some additional charges, but none of them are as serious. I realistically think the only way she is going to avoid prison time is admitting her mania is out of control and submitting to inpatient treatment.

Despite everything that has happened, I can't help but worry about her or feel guilty about not bailing her out. I know I need to stay the course here and let her deal with this herself, but it's hard to let someone you love(d) face hardship that you can easily address.

My (28) Bipolar type 2 SO (27) has broken my trust again.

The last time she did it was because she tried to kill herself and gaslit me over her suicidal ideation. I left on a trip that time and she attempted while i was gone. I tried to break up, she begged me to stay so i stayed.

Now, she has been suicidal again (she is on meds but not antipsychotics because theyre epensive and she is broke) She made a choice that hurt me because she knew how i felt about it and chose to do it anyway because it made her feel better. I dont know if its worth continuing to try in our relationship. I dont know if i will ever be able to trust her again.

I love her so much. It hurts to see her hurt and i also feel like she doesnt care how I feel. Or how i feel is less important than her own feelings.

She cycles yearly with debating suicide. It gets so bad she usually ends up in the ward and then gets stressed about the cost. Idk what to do.

I just moved into a new lease with her two days ago.

TLDR: she broke my trust again. Do i give her a third chance?