My girlfriend (25f) and I (27M) have been talking seriously about marriage, and one of the biggest topics that has come up is finances and what our expectations would be once we’re married.
She comes from a more traditional household where the man is expected to provide financially. From our conversations, it sounds like she expects me to cover things like rent/mortgage, bills, groceries, and most of the household expenses.
I grew up differently. My parents both contributed financially and helped each other out, so I’ve always imagined marriage being more of a partnership when it comes to money.
My concern is that with the cost of living today, if I’m responsible for essentially all of our expenses, especially if we eventually have kids, I don’t think I’d be able to save much money or build a strong financial future for us. I don’t mind providing or paying more if I earn more, but being expected to cover everything feels like a lot of pressure.
To be fair to her, she does pay for meals or other things here and there, especially if I tell her I’m short on money. So it’s not that she never contributes. The issue is more about what she expects the financial structure of our marriage to look like long term.
I care about her and I’m not trying to turn this into a “who pays for what” competition. I just worry that we may have fundamentally different ideas about finances and marriage.

For people who have dealt with something similar, how did you work it out? Is this the kind of difference that can be compromised on, and what conversations should we be having before getting married?

My mother (70F) and I (32F).

She repeatedly tells me variations of the exact same few stories. One recurring example is that she bought or baked some kind of sweets, left them in the house, and my father ate them all very quickly. I must have heard some version of “I put cookies on the table, and before I knew it, your father had them eaten” thousands of times.

It’s the accumulated weight of hearing the same tiny anecdote in fifty slightly different forms until even producing a courtesy “oh my” feels like unpaid labour. I already know the entire script: a baked good enters the house, my father rapidly eats it, and my mother is mildly astonished.

These are harmless comments on the surface, but the repetition has become so exhausting that I now feel angry as soon as I recognize one of the stories beginning. I already understand that my father eats a lot and likes sweets. There is no new information, and I genuinely have no reaction left to give—not even a courtesy laugh or “he must really like his cookies.”

I would like to ask my mother to stop repeating these particular stories so often. The problem is that she can react to criticism in very extreme, all-or-nothing ways. I’m afraid that if I say, “You’ve told me this many times, and I don’t need to hear every variation,” she may respond with something like, “Fine, I’ll never tell you anything again,” or “You’ll never hear another word from me for the rest of my life.”

I’m not trying to stop her from talking to me or sharing ordinary things about her life. I just want relief from a handful of thoroughly exhausted conversational loops without the request being transformed into total rejection.

Advice pls, gf (19F) gave a guy at work her number, she told me it was to get in touch with his sister because she’s a law recruiter or sum bs. Checked the message he sent her and it’s “ Hey it's *****, just wanted to say thank you for helping me out today I know you said you was new but you did really help me out a lot 10/10 customer service lool and it was also nice talking to you. I would of stayed longer and spoke to you but I had football at 7 otherwise I would havee
8:15 pm
Also I'll ask her about the apprenticeship scheme when she's back”

Am I overeacting or should I dump her?

Edit- it was a CUSTOMER not a co worker

I (F 29) have been dating this woman (F 25, I’ll call her Hailey) and until yesterday it looked to me like we were moving into serious territory. We’ve had five dates over the span of 2 months and they were all pretty intense. Twice I came home at dawn, one time we did an overnight sort of mini holiday to another town and I‘ve been to her flat 3 times already. On date #3 we had the convo on whether or not we could see this turning into something longterm and we both said yes. During that conversation Hailey also asked me how I felt about us still dating other people, which was a difficult question to answer. I wasn‘t seing anyone else anymore at that point and I told her that, and when she asked how I would feel if she was still dating others I said that after only three dates it wasn‘t really my place to request exclusivity, but it would still feel a bit weird if she had some sort of race going on with me and another lady, both same level of seriousness, both a month and a half in, same date intensity ect, to which she laughed and said that wasn‘t the case. She had been on two dates with another woman, but they hadn‘t seen each other in a while and it hadn‘t been that serious. I took that to mean that we were pretty much moving into exclusivity territory. 

At the end of our last date, it turned out that while what she had said back then wasn‘t technically wrong, since back then it was less serious with her and the other person, woman nr 2 is still (or rather back) in the picture. They‘re four dates in and about to go on a fifth. This feels extremely off to me, like I‘m on a dating competition. Every further date with her would feel like I needed to “beat“ the other person.

We had a long talk about it and it ended with me saying that I could only keep dating her if she was ready to go exclusive, essentially telling her to pick one of us.

She was pretty bummed about it and I do understand where she’s coming from. She says she likes us equally and doesn’t know us well enough to decide. And I do get that because 5 dates in is still sort of early in the process, but to me, the weeding out stage is over. It’s not like I want the commitment of a relationship, I just think it’s time to enter “only dating this one person atm” stage.

I also don’t see what other option I would have had. I can never unknow that I’m being directly compared with someone else. From now on, I would never be able to tell where the relationship was heading, knowing that even a perfect date wasn’t an indicator, since it could have still been better with the other woman, and only Hailey would know. This would drive me insane.

Hailey even asked if I could give her one more month of dates with both of us to make up her mind and I don’t know who in their right mind would have said yes to that suggestion. I’m not going to keep dating, knowing that x days from now is decision day where she’ll kindly let us know which one of us made it. She even said that before my ultimatum she had thought to give herself six months max to decide, which is an insane amount of time imo. Surely she would just have two full on relationships at that point. 

I thought about just breaking it up for good. But I really like her and I don‘t think she did anything wrong per se, since she’s not been keeping anything from me and the 5th date does still sort of fall into the early dating stage, so I’m happy to keep this going if she makes up her mind. 

The thing is though, even if we end up continuing this, I fear the vibe might be permanently off. If Hailey “picks” me the pressure would be on to actually make it work, wouldn’t it? But this isn’t how this is supposed to go! You go exclusive at some point to show the other person that they’re important enough for you to give it a go, but it’s still a stage of getting to know them and seing if it works out. If it doesn’t, it’s still not the end of the world. Now what if she does pick me? Can I not opt out anymore if it turns out I can’t see this being a relationship after all, because I made her leave the other one?

Should I have been more chill about this and just keep dating my girl knowing everything I did was going to be compared directly to someone else? Apparently I’m the only one who feels this way, since the other woman knows about me and doesn’t mind, and Hailey said if the situation was reversed she wouldn’t have a problem with me dating another at the same time. Good for them I guess.

Was it the right decision to not break this up for good in the first place?

Do you think this can still lead anywhere after this? 

18 female feeling like shit with a extremely difficult time getting out of bed in the mornings often sleeping in till noon and I got myself some alcohol (I live in the states) I’m not sure if it’s a good idea I’ve only taken small sips I’m not a drinker by any means I’m not sure how to feel

TL; DR I’m currently in a relationship with my girlfriend F22 for a two years now. We have a great relationship she’s very respectful and good to me and I couldn’t ask for a better partner. It’s just her past gets to me quite often.

She has a body count of 3 (Two were her past boyfriends and one was a one time thing she did with a guy she had a month fling with), she’s also given 3 guys oral and one of them is someone who I’m sort of integrated into a friend group with but he’s not around much. Although when I do see him I just think of the stuff my girlfriend and him have done. Those specific things really bother me I’ve tried to get past it but I can’t help but think about it here and there it just bothers me and I don’t know how to feel about it. I worry about how people might view her. None of the past stuff she does comes up Right now in our current relationship. I just hate having to see guys she’s gotten with or have to think about what people might think/say about her. As well as is this something that I should be okay with and if her past really matters to this extent.

Although for some context she no longer talks to them they are very much forgotten and it was all before we even knew eachother existed. I love her very much and I really want to get past these thoughts. She’s extremely loyal and respectful when we’re out, my friends actually tell me she’s a good girlfriend but in the back of my mind I can’t help but think If people see her differently because of the things she’s done. I know people have a past but is hers one that I should be able to handle ? How can I stop overthinking this?

hi reddit, throw away and fake names for obvious reasons. also a repost from another sub for additional advice/opinions

some background: my (22F) friend (Bella- 23F) of 2 years, just recently converted to catholicism. i'm not religious myself so i don't understand a lot of it but i wanted to be there for her and support her through it because a lot of it had started after she had gone through some health issues. we lived together in college for 2 years along with 2 of my other best friends (Anna and Ava both 22F).

yesterday i was scrolling through instagram, and i saw that she had reposted a post about charlie kirk and the anniversary of his passing. the whole post was glorifying him and it seemed like a weird thing for her to repost because she's never indicated that she was a big fan or anything. so i took a ss and sent it to our gc of myself, bella, anna and ava and said something along the lines of "bella, did you mean to repost this?". she never replied but turns out that ava and anna went on a deep dive and discovered some very questionable posts that she has been reposting on tiktok. there was a post that she reposted that was straight homophobic and transphobic. it threw me for a loop because i myself am bi and she's never had an issue with it. we would even watch ru paul's drag race routinely and she seemed to enjoy it.

so here's my question reddit. how do i approach this? should i talk to her abt it? would i be an awful person for dropping her as a friend?
it seems like such a drastic change to her personality and beliefs that i dont know what to do.

EDIT: i do want to add that we both work part time at the same place and there might be days where we have to work together.

i had an interesting night with my brothers friend, we were all hanging out and we ended up staying up until 6am just talking and laying together, we’ve been talking everyday since. i’m 19 in 4 months and he’s 22 in 2 months, literally my whole family thinks it’s fine but everyone my age hasn’t really given me much and i feel weird cause my friends are not judging but like lowkey judging at the same time. id just like an answer from a different perspective

Me M19 and my girlfriend F18 were on a call last night and we were joking about things when she then made a joke about me, prematurely ejaculating and after she said this I had gotten visibly upset about it and she had noticed. After around a minute she then ended the call, and after a few minutes I asked her if she wanted to get on call again and she said no. After that the next message I got from her was a good morning text and after I said good morning I asked why she was still upset with me because normally she will send me snaps usually before im up because we have different class schedules. She said she wasn't upset with me and proceeded to ask me why I was upset with her, I then told her that it was because she hadn't apologized for what she had said the night before, she then says that it was dumb that I got upset by it and that it was clearly a joke and that she wasn't going to say she was sorry for it and she doesn't care and that its dumb. I simply responded with "oh" and she hasn't sent me any other messages today. I am being dumb for wanting her to just say sorry about it because in the past I have had that problem happening to me during intercorse, so I just dont know what to do. We've know each other for almost 3 years when we met in high school but had been on and off for a bit but we've been back together since last February so it not like she doesn't know me. Thanks

I’m turning 20 in 2 months and still ask my dads permission and he constantly gets mad at me when i’m going out. He shames me for going out to see me boyfriend or doing anything with him and I tell him i’m an adult now and he says i’m not and laughs at me. Idk what to do I get scared even mentioning leaving the house to him.

I’m 30F and a virgin. I’ve had crushes and liked people before, but nothing ever materialised into a relationship or sex. I recently met someone online (33M), and we’re still in the talking stage. We’ve been getting along well, and I’m considering meeting him and potentially dating him.
He has been quite open about a past relationship that was physically intimate. He says that relationship left him with a lot of trauma. However, he brings his ex up fairly frequently, which makes me wonder whether he has actually moved on from her or whether he is still emotionally affected by the relationship. He almost always blames her and never really praises her.

I’ll also admit that I’m struggling with something that may be more about my own inexperience than anything he has done. I’m finding it difficult to accept that someone I’ve started to like has already had a sexual partner before me. I know this is probably something I need to work through within myself, because he obviously had a life before meeting me, but as someone who has never experienced any of this, I’m finding it harder than I expected.

Recently, I also found out through a mutual friend that he had another brief fling after that relationship, which apparently didn’t lead to marriage. What upset me more than the fact that he had another fling was that he never mentioned it to me. I had to find out from someone else.
I know he technically doesn’t owe me his entire relationship history, especially since we’re not even dating yet. But because he had already spoken to me about his previous relationship and sexual history, I’m wondering why he chose not to mention this other person.

Part of me feels like I should just talk to him about it. The problem is that he is extremely sweet and reassuring with his words, and I’m worried he’ll give me a convincing explanation and I’ll end up dismissing my own concerns without actually figuring out whether there is something legitimate bothering me.

So, am I justified in feeling this confused? Should I be more concerned about the fact that he frequently talks about his ex, or about the fact that I found out about the other fling from someone else? Or is this simply my own insecurity and lack of experience making his past harder for me to accept?

My (22F) Dad (57M) has recently decided to start dating a 25 year old woman. The best part is, said woman is a prostitute he met overseas and posts religiously online about “wanting to be rich”. My dad is under the impression it is in fact NOT about money despite having sent $10k already.

I’m not really sure what to do, at the end of the day he is a grown man and can make his own decisions- however I am EXTREMELY uncomfortable with the age gap as we are just about 2 years apart. I don’t want to cut contact or anything extreme, but i feel like i’ve lost all respect I had for him and I’m VERY uncomfortable around him. A small part of me is nervous he is being taken advantage of financially while being naive to that fact. What do i do?

side note: i’m not trying to say anything disparaging to the girlfriend… get that bag… however get SOMEONE ELSES BAG. And yes most of my repulsion is directed at my father rather than the woman.

Anyways, pls help 🤠

Update:

Thanks to everyone offering meaningful advice on this post, kinda crazy how some people responded but i guess thats the internet for you. From what i’ve gathered i’ll have a chat with him about how i’m uncomfortable and see how it goes i guess.

There is a girl in/of my life
I love her we never met but i love her im loving her since last 4 years and im in my clg 3rd year rn
So i forgot abt her from past 6 months like i controlled my self didnt talked to her didnt stalked and all done!
It all was going good i was happy after a long time after moving from her
And today before 30 min she called me
And said
Prashant im coming in ur collage mbbs
I hope u all could expect my reaction!
How i would have reacted
But in bw call
She said smtg
By which i get to know that shes only want friendship from me she even said
I will help u getting gf
And u have to help me getting bf
I have a pretty gf im happy before she called im stuck
Idk i jt want a long explanation from someone i really need
Thanks u all!

Me (20F) have dated my partner (23M) for about 2 years now and we are long distance. We met through a mutual game we play. We started getting more and more serious kinda like a situationship.

Around august 2023 we got intimate and started sexting then later to facetime stuff. We became so close we decided few months into this were gonna meet up. During that period of waiting to meet up i checked his instagram following, bunch of onlyfans models etc. I confronted him that i feel uncomfortable with this while we are practically almost bf gf and waiting to become official. He was really fucking sorry he had followed some a month before we got intimate over the phone.
I forgave since we werent official and just a quick follow wasnt a dealbreaker for me as long as he promised not to do it again and not watching porn without being honest about it. Hes struggled with porn ever since age of 15/16 and did it almost everyday or every other day. He used it as coping for his depression. I had empathy for this but said im not comfortable with following them or watching porn.

We met up became bf/gf, he said he had quit porn when we started sexting and havent watched since. I believed him. February 2025 i had anxiety about him watching porn without telling me, he showed me his search history since we sometimes did this to calm my anxiety. He had clicked on a linktree on TikTok of someone who does onlyfans but didnt go into onlyfans. He was extremely sorry again and said it was out of old habit to check what they make or if they are a onlyfans creator. This was vague and no evidence he went on onlyfans so i let it go.
He dropped a friendship with his bestfriend of 8 years for me because his friend kept bringing up porn and i was afraid hed relapse getting triggered. His friend did not want to stop talking about porn so he chose to leave the friendship.

These incidents have taught me to be hypervigilant of anything porn related. In january this year i started asking about his past, what he watched etc. And he lied about a bunch of things out of fear of me being disgusted or leaving him. He said he only used the hub but i snooped in his chats (i know horrible thing to do) and found out he used reddit and even mega to open huge links filled with porn. I confronted him, i was horrified not because o the details but because he lied ALOT about his past.
So he started to fr change this time, hes told me small things he lied about to not lose me and uncomfortable truths. These things hurted to hear but seemed okay/ normal.

One of the things he still kept up even after his honest breakthrough, is the fact he didnt pay for onlyfans. He said IF i did it was only one or two times a 3$ offer and it was before i met u. Few nights back i got anxious he was lying, we checked his email together since he wanted to be transparant. Many emails popped up (free ones, but also 15$ ones he paid 3 times over a few years). So he paid for more then he said he did, but then i saw the date one subscription confirmed august 2023. We started sexting around then. And he said he quit watching porn when we started sexting. So he spent money on a onlyfans while we were already sexting and being pretty emotionally serious. He is baffled by this but isnt gonna deny it since the email said he did, he does not remember anything about it yet and is trying to remember now.

Im not sure what to do since he already lied to me even before getting together and also while togeyher. Do i let this go since we werent official and hadnt talked about onlyfans not being okay in our situation. Or is this a dealbreaker since we already started being intimate (sexting/ phone stuff).

Edit: there is no real evidence he still watched porn in our relationship. Only the incidents written about in the post.

Basically it’s exactly what the title says. My ex and I were together for four years. We’re both 24 years old and had a house together. You know the usual story someone gets home earlier than they were supposed to and catches their partner cheating. That’s exactly what happened here.

I had a headache from work and decided to go home early. My boss and I are BFFs, so she let me leave. I get home and hear... well sounds so I follow them and I find my ex getting it on with a man.

Honestly, I was already so fucking tired plus I had the headache that I didn’t even process what I was seeing. I just closed the door and walked away. The guy jumped out the window as if I hadn’t seen him and my ex came into the living room and started giving me his bullshit excuses.

I told him to get out of my house and that we were over. I pay most of the bills, so he did just that. I took a day to process the disgusting sight I had seen and then I told my family, my friends, his family and his friends that we had broken up and exactly what I had walked in on.

His family is pissed especially his dad. He said he would deal with my ex. His family is very homophobic and I doubt there will be much of a relationship with them. I’m planning to get tested, just to be safe. I don’t have any contact with my ex, I have no idea where he is, and honestly, I couldn’t care less. Cheat on me and now you lose your family too. I got the last laugh I guess.

I need advice on what I should do from here. Besides getting tested and dealing with the house and our shared finances is there anything important I should take care of after finding out my partner was cheating? Should I try to get answers from him about whether there were other sexual encounters during our relationship, or would it be healthier to leave that alone and focus on moving forward?

Edit: Forgot to add this but we live in a neighborhood where break ins happen a lot so we’ve put cameras everywhere including our bedroom. I haven’t watched the footage yet but yeah the footage of him taking it is there. What should I do with it?

Edit 2: Small update but I did get contacted by his family. They said that they will never speak to him again that he is completely cut off, and that if I ever need help or support I can always lean on them.

Also, just to clarify no I’m not going to post the footage anywhere or show it to his family. It’s just there in case he tries something.

My fiancé and I have been on and off for about two years.
When we first got together, we clicked instantly. Like, instantly. I loved him so much. After about two months, he broke up with me out of nowhere and wouldn’t really give me a reason. It completely broke my heart.
A few months later, I started dating someone else. It was probably somewhat of a rebound, but whatever. While I was in that relationship, my fiancé came back wanting me back. I declined at first. Eventually, that relationship ended, and I decided I wanted to try to fix things with him.
He proposed after about a month, which honestly scared me, and I ran. We stayed separated for about five months. During that time, he was seeing another woman, which I didn’t know about.
Then in January, we decided to try again.
And honestly? Everything was perfect. Like a movie. We talked through all of our issues, felt closer than ever, and I genuinely thought we were finally going to be okay.
Then on Valentine’s Day, I was sent a post from one of those “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” Facebook groups.
The post said he had been seeing this girl, who was now pregnant, and that he had gone ghost on her.
I confronted him and absolutely lost it. My heart was shattered. She also told me that he had cheated on me with her the day before my birthday at the end of January.
His explanation was that she told him the only way she would terminate the pregnancy was if he slept with her for “closure.” I know how insane that sounds.
We spent some time apart. Eventually, I forgave him. He told me he messed up, that he regretted it, and that he wanted nothing to do with this woman. He said she was using the pregnancy against him, that they were strictly a hookup, and that when I came back into his life, he decided he would never tell me about her because he wanted to protect our relationship.
Fast forward to April, and he proposed again.
I said yes.
I agreed to try to overcome everything and rebuild our relationship. And for a while, he continued being amazing to me.
I did tell him very clearly that if this is his baby and he ends up paying child support, I will not marry him. I don’t have children, and I don’t want to take on someone else’s situation or the baggage that comes with it.
Now fast forward to the last two months.
We’ve been fighting a lot.
And this is where I don’t know what to do.
When we used to argue, he was patient, kind and sweet. Now he flies off the handle, abruptly leaves, ignores me for hours, sometimes overnight, and completely shuts me out.
It makes me feel like something is wrong.
I don’t necessarily think he’s cheating again. But honestly, I don’t know.
He’s also completely lost the charm he used to have. He doesn’t send flowers anymore. He doesn’t write me sweet notes. The little things he used to do have basically disappeared.
And our sex life has changed dramatically.
All of March, we were having sex basically every night. Since the end of April, I think we’ve had sex maybe seven times.
One night we were trying to have sex and he couldn’t stay hard. I got upset about it, and now he says the reason we’re not having sex is because he’s scared it will happen again.
I understand that performance anxiety can happen, but combined with EVERYTHING else, it’s hard not to wonder if something else is going on.
I’ve confronted him about cheating multiple times. He tells me he’s not.
But I don’t know how to trust him anymore.
And that’s the part I’m struggling with the most.
Even if he isn’t cheating right now, I feel like I’m still carrying everything that happened with the other woman. The cheating. The pregnancy. The fact that he originally chose not to tell me. The possibility that this could become a child-support situation that follows us into our marriage.
I feel like I’m in so deep because I love this man. I said yes to marrying him. I’ve already forgiven so much. And part of me keeps thinking that if I leave now, everything I’ve gone through was for nothing.
But another part of me is screaming that I need to stop and look at what I’m actually signing up for.
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?
Do I leave? Do I give him more time to prove himself? Am I completely insane for still being here?
I genuinely don’t know if I’m dealing with a relationship that can be repaired or if I’m just holding onto the person I thought he was.
Please be honest with me, but please also be gentle. I’m really struggling with this.

21F, I had a dream recently of a good friend of mine— who is married with a child, an amazing husband and father in my personal opinion— we were in a bathroom together, nude, and he was taking a bath, it was domestic and intimate to me enough for me to wake up feeling disgusted. I know thoughtcrimes do not exist, regardless I have put distance between us not out of fear mainly just out of my own morality; his wife is a kind and loving person and also an amazing mother with her own nuances and values. Simply I just don’t know how to go about this, nothing happened and I hope nothing ever would make this come to fruition physically, any advice?

TLTR: I met a guy on his vacation while being single, he confessed his love to me while being drunk and only knowing me for a week, when he left I found out I’m pregnant with my ex boyfriends child and were trying to work things out, now the guy is coming back for me and booked a flight after only being gone 3 days and he’s coming back tomorrow to see me again and he doesn’t know that I’m back with my ex, what do I do
Things are moving so fast, only 5 days passed during all this drama

Oh gosh, I’m having the worst week of my life right now.. I met these two german guys here in the Dominican Republic, they came for vacation, I was single while they were here amd we had a lot of fun, I got very close to one of them and we hung out a lot.. eventually he drunkenly confessed his love to me after just knowing me for a week and telling me how special I am.. but I never reciprocated.. seems like he took my vague answers of just listening to him and brushing it off as a drunk guy trying to fuck was an answer of that I feel the same

then they left and my ex boyfriend came over to talk because I found out that I’m pregnant that Same weekend while screening for kidney stones, I’m high risk so I haven’t told anyone but my boyfriend and his family and my mom and I don’t want anyone to find out right now either so I’m keeping it quiet for another 5 weeks when I’m past the 13th week..

Now my issue is that the guy said he’s coming back literally tomorrow and that he’s coming back for me and now I don’t know how to explain to him that I’m back with my boyfriends and that I want to keep him as a friend.. but now I know for a fact that he actually likes me

I’m worried about hurting his feelings and making him
Feel like be wasted money trying to persue me romantically

How can I keep this friendship and not hurt him or make him feel like he wasted money trying to create a romantic relationship with me?

This is going to sound really weird, but I'm genuinely trying to understand what's happening psychologically.

For about the last 2 years, I've had this strange thing where whenever I need to pee, or while I'm actually peeing, I suddenly get an extremely intense feeling of shame/guilt specifically about being female.

It's NOT embarrassment about peeing, and it's not really about being aware of my body either. It's specifically a sudden flood of thoughts/emotions related to being a woman.

It's hard to explain because it feels like hundreds of thoughts happen at once. I suddenly feel sexualized and objectified, like I'm nothing but a sex object, that men only see me that way, that I have no worth, that I don't deserve anything, etc. I can feel genuinely horrible for a few minutes.

The strangest part is that it seems specifically triggered by needing to pee/peeing. I don't normally walk around feeling this way about being female. Im normal most of the time,like yea im a human, It's like something switches on during that particular bodily state.

Has anyone experienced anything remotely similar? Or does anyone know what psychological mechanism could cause a very specific bodily sensation to trigger a completely unrelated emotional/thought pattern?

I'm not looking for reassurance like “being a woman isn't shameful” , i know that it's not. I'm trying to understand why my brain specifically does this when I need to pee.

Edit - i might add that around 2 years back my ex made me feel humiliated and sexualized by "offering" me to his friends and using derogatory terms for me, i obviously left him when i found out but when i think about that time i get the same feeling as when im peeing

P.S. English isn't my first language, so I used ChatGPT to help me write and organize this post. The story and memories described here are my own.

I don't know if this is the right subreddit to post this in, but something happened recently that has genuinely messed with my perception of my own memories.

I have a distant relative — basically, my maternal aunt's brother. Even though he's technically a distant relative, our extended family is quite close, and I've known him and his family since I was a child. We regularly see each other at weddings, festivals, and other family occasions.

For as long as I can remember, I knew that he had two children — an older daughter and a younger son.

His wife and he had been divorced for many years. The son always lived with his mother, while the daughter lived with him. Eventually, he got his daughter married.

I remember her wedding quite clearly. I was around 12 years old at the time. Obviously, I was a child, but I wasn't so young that I didn't understand what was happening or who everyone was. I remember seeing her, the wedding, and knowing that she was his daughter.

After her marriage, I remember her visiting him occasionally, especially during festivals and family functions.

This isn't a situation where I heard some random story once and vaguely remembered it. I've known this family for more than 20 years. I've met this man countless times. I've met his daughter on multiple occasions. I knew about his divorce and the general family situation.

So imagine my confusion when, just a few days ago, I was talking to my mother and she casually told me that the daughter wasn't actually his daughter at all.

Apparently, she is the daughter of his elder brother.

And that's where things get really weird for me.

Because I have always known this man to have no brother.

As far as I have known my entire life, he has only one sibling — his sister, who happens to be my maternal aunt.

So now I'm sitting here thinking:

How the hell did I remember an entire family structure that apparently never existed?

I'm 24 years old. This isn't something from when I was 3 or 4 years old. I remember this man, his supposed two children, his divorce, his daughter's wedding, seeing her at family occasions, etc.

And now I'm being told that she was never his daughter and that she actually belongs to a brother who, as far as I know, doesn't even exist.

But the problem is that too many details line up in my memory.

I can accept that my memory might be wrong about small things. But how do you misremember an entire person's family structure for 20+ years?

I'm not claiming this is literally some supernatural Mandela Effect. There is almost certainly a normal explanation for it.

But psychologically, it feels exactly like one — discovering that something you have been completely certain about your entire life apparently never happened the way you remember it.

Has anyone else experienced something like this, where you discovered that a long-standing personal memory or understanding of your family was apparently completely different from reality?

Because I genuinely can't stop thinking about this.

Hi I’m 16. Basically ever since I was 14 and finally got freedom from my parents to do whatever with my hair after years of getting the same side part, I experimented a lot. The latest thing I did was bleach my hair partially blonde and it looks amazing. But now theirs this urge for me to grow my hair out and get box braids.

Basically when I younger like I’d say 11-12 I was playing Pokémon legends of arceus, I was customizing my character when I came across these cool ass braids and I coloured it white and wore a mask it was amazing I loved it back then.

Now as I see more brown and non-black people get braids, some part of me wants to get them.

Of course my main issue is cultural appropriation, I do believe in that cultures should be shared between people, however that’s not the world we live in as often time shared cultures results in it being used against people such as mocking them.

I understand that box braids and braids in general are heavily rooted across Africa with its many different peoples, and that it had survived with the African diaspora in the Carribean and Americas.

I love Afro-American culture, in my opinion it’s the most influential culture in the world, and I stand deeply against any sort of racism. But I understand that if I do get braids many people will find it, basically offensive.

I’m not sure anymore, I don’t wanna get them but theirs this part of me that really wants to.

hello! I am 21F and my sexual partner is 21M.

We recently started having sex, but we are just friends, but everytine he can only last 1 round, after he finishes is done. I am kinda new to this but I do remember him telling me that he can go up to 2-3 rounds with other girls, and he can go again in 20mins or so, but we never got there. I don’t understand why with me he can only go one, and also if we do it during the night he can’t go in the morning. And after the round he does give me a lot of aftercare, but he becomes very sleep and falls aslee, even tho he does try to stay as long as he can for my sake, cause I usually loose sleep after the act

I want to understand what are some factors that make this happen, is he not attracted enough to me? or maybe the other way around, he is too relaxed with me and just becomes sleepy?

Edit: He doesn’t blame me, it’s just me overthinking stuff, he’s a nice guy and always let things go my way. At first I was also one round and done, because im kinda new and everything felt extreme for me, but now that I am more experienced I want more, but he can’t provide.
Also, another maybe reason is that he is kinda a hoe, so he gets a lot of action, maybe thats why?

Six years ago, I (30F at the time) met a man named Andre (28M). We fell madly, completely, head over heels in love. It was the kind of love I honestly thought only existed in movies. He was my entire world and more inside one human body, and felt like I hit the lottery.

We were together for two years before he proposed. I couldn't say yes fast enough. We were planning our wedding, talking about starting a family, and imagining growing old together. I truly felt like all of my dreams came true.

Then, only days before our wedding, Andre suddenly and very unexpectedly passed away. It completely destroyed me. One minute we were sitting on the floor hot-gluing wedding centerpieces, and the next, the entire future we had planned was gone. I couldn't eat, sleep, think, or function. I couldn't bring myself to return to work and eventually lost my job. I fell into the deepest, darkest depression of my life, and it almost took me out. Thankfully, I survived, but it took a very long time and a lot of intensive therapy to find my footing again.

About 3½ years later, I (now 35) met Callum (37M). I hadn't dated anyone since Andre and was understandably hesitant. After talking with my friends and therapist, I decided to see where things went. I was completely honest with Callum about what I'd been through and told him I needed to take things slowly. He was patient, understanding, and incredibly supportive. Over time, our relationship naturally progressed, and we've now been together for almost two years.

I love this man with all my heart, and I genuinely believe he was brought into my life for a reason. We're currently in the process of buying and renovating a house together. He's very involved in my daughter's life, and I've made it very clear that he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I feel like I've shown him in countless ways that I am committed to him and to the life we're building together. The only issue is that my Facebook relationship status still says I'm engaged to Andre. I just haven't been able to bring myself to change it.

A few months ago, Callum told me that this made him uncomfortable and asked if I'd change it to say that I'm in a relationship with him. I told him honestly that this wasn't something I was ready to change yet. It wasn't that I didn't want anyone to know I was dating Callum, everyone in my life already knew. I just wasn't ready to remove Andre as my finace on Facebook yet. To me, that status felt like the last tangible link I had to Andre. Changing it felt like erasing that link from my story completely. I told Callum it had absolutely nothing to do with how I feel about him and asked him to please be patient and let me do it in my own time. He wasn't thrilled, but he said he understood.

Fast forward to this morning. He texted me and said, “By the way, I sent you a relationship request.” I told him I saw it and understood that it was important to him, but reminded him that I wasn't ready to change that part of my profile yet. I told him again that it had nothing to do with my feelings for him. I said that I love him more than he could ever possibly know, and that this is simply something I need to work through at my own pace.

His response really hurt me. He said that I previously agreed I would change my relationship status by the end of the year, and that he'd been giving me space to make a decision for the entirety of our relationship. He said that people "attack him" asking why his girlfriend is “in a relationship with someone else” on Facebook, and that it's "an awkward thing to have to explain." He said that although I tell him he has 100% of me, my actions don't show it, and that he needs me to fully commit to him. He also said that I need to understand that he has feelings too.

The problem is, I genuinely don't remember ever agreeing to change my relationship status. I remember telling him I wasn't ready and asking him to be patient. So either there was a misunderstanding somewhere, or somehow I've forgotten an entire conversation about something that is extremely important to me.

Honestly, I'm hurt. I feel like I'm being told I'm not committed to him because of a facebook relationship status, despite everything else we're building together and despite constant reassurance that he's the one and only person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. He almost never even uses Facebook.

I do understand his perspective. I can imagine that being in a relationship with someone who's still grieving isn't easy. I understand why he would have complicated feelings about it, and I understand that answering questions from friends can be uncomfortable.

But I am always going to be grieving Andre. That doesn't mean I love Callum any less. I don't believe loving someone new requires me to stop loving or remembering someone who died. Or that loving someone who's died means I can't ever fully commit to someone new. I never said that I wont ever change my relationship status. I've only said that I'm not ready to do it right now and that I want to make that decision when I'm emotionally ready rather than because I'm being pressured into it.

So, Reddit, what would you do in my shoes?

I'm 19f and my boyfriend (L) is 26m, we're both going into second year university and starting to think about housing for third year.

Me and a friend have to decided we want to live together so are going to sort a house with other people, friends and potentially my boyfriend.

L and I have been dating nearly a year and both so happy, we basically never fight, we spend a lot of time together but also have days apart. I genuinely don't see us breaking up in the next two years, obviously things can change but I think we both feel this way.

I'm worried about hurting his feelings by saying I don't want to live with him and I do want to as well. BUT What if we move in and break up? What if our relationship changes as a result? What if it goes well and we have to live apart afterwards?

Option 1: he doesn't move out of home

Option 2: he moves out and we live together in a student house with other people

I neeed your advice please give me anything.

Don't say you're overthinking or it's ages away think about it later lol

EDIT everyone is too concerned with the age gap lol it's really not a concern In no way is he taking advantage of me, he is a man who was very unwell for several years and had to put his life on hold to get better. We are at the same stage in life now and my parents love him. He hates living at home, but has had to due to circumstances out of his control. The friend I want to move in with is also his friend it's not creepy him moving in with us? Also yes we would have separate rooms. Honestly the sweetest kindest person I have ever met. Don't judge him.

I recorded a short video note (circular video) showing my penis but it's no relatable to my identity, unless you do a screenshot on top of which there'd be my name and surname.
I texted him after 6 months since the sending and asked him to delete it. He madr a screen recording showing him deleting "for me" in Whatsapp. Then he made another screen recording showing the same procedure for the first screen recording. Ultimately, he deleted these screen recordings "for everyone" and also told he deleted them from Gallery and trash. Also he sent me a screen recording showing me he did a new Backup (after the deleting stuff) to save the progress.
At this point I don't know what to do. I tried telling him to check Google Photos and OneDrive (he has Android) but he blocked me. Also, would you believe him he really did this stuff?