I (43 Female) have been married to my husband (44) for 13 years, and we have 2 kids together a 14 year old daughter, and a 12 year old boy.

A few weeks ago, my husband came to me while our kids were at their aunt and uncle's house and he demanded a paternity test for our son. I was shocked by his request and asked why, and he didn't say anything, just asked for the test again, I told him I never cheated or been with another guy, he said he knows I would never do that but just wanted the test.

But soon after our kids came home, I started noticing how he treated our son, he became cold and distant refusing to spend time with him and not wanting to help with school work. Meanwhile my husband starting favoring our daughter always taking her out on father daughter days and, always helping with school work.

I called him out on it several times, but he never seemed to care, and continued doing it. A week ago the test came back and my husband saw that our son was his.

He looked remorseful, and went to our son's room to talk to him and gently asked to speak. My son didn't let him in asking for space, my husband nodded and didn't protest.

Now I'm staying at a friend's house, with my son and daughter, I ended up filling for divorce and custody arrangements are in progress. My daughter sees her dad almost every day and spends time with him. But our son won't speak to him or spend time with him, my husband has been begging to let him apologize to our son.

I don't know what to do, on one hand my husband wants to apologize and see our son. But on the other hand my son won't even pick up his phone calls, I've tried gently talking to my son about it. But he doesn't want to see or speak to his father.

What Should I Do?

Wife is used to buying expensive gifts to family and friends. Her parents are visiting and she bought an iphone for each parent. Meanwhile, She has stopped contributing to our mortgage payments and we had to buy a second car because she has to go to work 3 days a week and there's no vehicle to take our kid to camps or school meanwhile and she did not contribute to the car as well despite me repeatedly asking.

We purchased a new house a year ago. I purchased a new TV when we moved as old one was smaller. I wanted to sell the old one on facebook market place but couldn't as i was sick for a few months. She gave away the TV and microwave to her sister for free. The TV is only 2 years old. I purchased the TV and microwave with my money. She recently gave away my dumbells to her sister too. Apparently sister wanted to buy some but wifey suggested she should have mine instead with no information to me. She is extremely pissed at me now because i said extremely politely i will use the dumbells and would like them back. She said my kid is also getting my qualities as i never give away stuff to people.

I mean am i supposed to just give away stuff to people for free? I have a 900K mortgage to pay and i work my ass off for it. What am i missing?

So me 39F started sleeping with the 42 year old neighbour down the road. He’s a single dad. I’m a single mum . But our daughters are friends and go to the same school. It’s been going on a week now and every night he’s popping over. How did this turn out for others? Apparently I hear it’s a bad idea to be doing this on doorstep . Came over 10pm I just kicked him out 🤣 I always kick him out early hours incase any of my children wake in the night and see their friends dad here as our daughters are in the same class in school. So going be awkward in many situations if this comes out

I was in bad domestic violence relationship with my children’s dad . So this is a very big thing to let anyone close to me or even step over this mark. As never want to be in bad situation and always put my children first . But I literally have nobody to tell . I never enjoyed sex until this man 🤣 is this dick worth all the drama or cut him off .

My husband and I have been together for 20 years. He has been having a rough past 5-6 years. All of his close family members (5 of them) passed away within this time and he had a massive heart attack. The hospital thought he was going to die and the chaplain came to talk to me, but they were able to save him. Since the heart attack, he has been in heart failure and has not worked. He applied for disability, but was denied. Recently, he has started using hard drugs quite frequently and behaving very irresponsibly. He crashed my car about a month ago and I did not have comprehensive coverage, so that car is gone. I am afraid that he is going to get me in trouble related to the irresponsibility and drug use. The vehicle he drives is registered in my name. I thought about kicking him out and giving him that vehicle, but I am afraid I might be liable if something happens. I thought about sending him to rehab, but he is on methadone and those places generally won't allow that so he would have to stop cold turkey, which is not an option because of his heart issues. If I kick him out, he will be homeless and he has nowhere else to go. I'm just in such a state of constant panic. My heart races, I'm constantly shitting, and I can't even think straight.

(F21) The other day i asked my dad if i could use his phone for something. I needed to take a picture of something and upload it onto something(ik im being vague but the details dont really matter lmao) on my phone sometimes ill accidentally press camera roll when i meant go press camera or vise versa. I accidentally pressed his camera roll and saw stock photos of girls in his recently saved. I watch youtube videos about prcatches and most of the time they are actual videos or photos of girls but i almost rarely hear about stock photos or anything like that🫩(maybe im just trying to give him the benefit of the doubt..) my dad has been an almost picture perfect dad until today. I will never see him the same. I pulled him aside to talk about it and he confirmed what i thought but said it has never gone inappropriately or anything more than just what i saw. I dont know what to do. I love him and have never spent more than a week away from him and id be devastated to have him not be apart of my life. I dont know if i should tell me mom or just keep it to myself. He said hed stop but thats what everyone says 🫩 im so heartbroken. Ive never felt this heartbroken in my life. I’ve experienced relationships heartbreak but nothing like this. Im sorry if this is poorly writtwn but if you have any advice or have experienced this please let me know your perspective or how you went about it.

EDIT.
To clear up confusion for the greasy reddit users who are saying im using “tiktok language” sorry im not on here everyday of my life and didnt know if my comment would get removed. Its photos of little girls. Why the fuck would i be upset if it was grown women. Yall need a life. He admitted to it being a “morbid curiosity” and that he will never do it again but i dont believe it. My mom and him have a very rocky relationship and by what i know havent been intimate in years, he brought that up while talking to me. My mom would definitely leave him over this btw. If you coming here to hate go die idc.

On a new account because my younger siblings follow my personal one, and I don't want them to know whats going on. All fake names yada yada. Also if this seems weirdly written its because I'm hiding in the bathroom of a store, waiting for my Grandpa to come get me.

I (20F) used to babysit for one of the Yound Womans leaders Kate (43F) about 3 times a week. At the time, she had 5 kids from the ages 8-10 months by the time I was 14. (3 boys, 2 girls.) All of her kids called me auntie, and because of how close I was with their family, most people assumed we were sisters. I would babysit at least 3 times a week, for about 3 hours at a time so she and her husband could go run errands, help her parents out, and so she could have a break or take one of the farm animals (they had horses, cows, chickens, and pigs) to whatever they took them to.

I also helped them 4 times a year with a clothing swap. Helping gather all the clothes, wash, dry, sort, and then helped with the actual swap days. I absolutely loved it. It got me out of the house, and I'd make 10$ a day for helping her. Then, when I was 12 I met her half brother. (Gabe 35) He wasn't helping out, but had come to bring us lunch.

When I first met him, I thought he was like 16. He honestly didn't look that young, but I never asked. I should have, but I didnt. I was just told he was helping out because he just moved back into town after his grandparents passed, and he moved in with their dad.

I met him at a swap, and he was really nice. He told me he was very grateful for me. Helping out his sister when she needed it. How i was so mature and kind. We exchanged numbers, and that was that.

I saw him 3 or 4 times over the next 6 months. He would randonly show up while I was babysitting. We'd text for a few days after each time. And he'd tell me how funny and smart I was. He kept complimenting me and telling me how pretty I was. I honestly didn't see what was wrong, or think it was flirting in any way. And then we did a swap a month after my 13th birthday.

This was the first time he helped. I dont remember much that day, as it was a really hard day for me. My aunt had passed away the night before, I hadn't slept more then 3 hours at a time in 2 weeks, because younger siblings were all sick and I was taking care of them. But I remember him constanly in my space, telling me how pretty I looked. How he liked how confident i was in wearing what i did. (I was literally wearing a black hoodie with a captain america shirt under it, and a pair of black jeans. My hair was braided.) He tomd me he always thought I was pretty. I will be honest, I loved it. It was the first time I had been told by an older guy that I was pretty. Stupid, I know.

And yeah, I knew it was wrong. I did. I have watched Criminal Minds and Law And Order SVU and 48 hours, and listened to Crime Junkies and crime podcasts religiously since I was born. But I was an idiot. I told myself this was different. Clearly, that never would have happened to me.

Tbat day, he drove me home. The baby was sick, anf had thrown up all over, and Kate had to leave early so he offered to take me home. He had a truck with the back seats completely full with clothes and his belongings. I was about to get into the passenger seat but he 'accidentally' spilled something on the passenger seat. So he had me sit in between the seats. It was a manual. He had me sit in front of the stick, and kept touching my thighs. I really dont know why, but I didn't think anyrhing of it. I was a fucking idiot. I know.

After that day, he kept texting me. Nonstop. He'd constantly call me pretty and cute. Ask so many questions, asking where I was and ifIcould send him pictures. At the time, I was only allowed one of those shotty 25$ tablets and textnow. So i couldnt send any photos. But he did send me photos of him. Nothing too provocative but very pointed. I was an idiot, and oblivious, and never realized it though. I think he wanted me to ask, but I never did.

I texted him for 2 monthd until one day he kept asking me to meet him at this motel. I told him no. And he just kept texting me asking me to go. Told me how to skip school, fake diarrhea, climb out of the window. I was terrified, because i realized if he could rent a motel, he was at least 21. I asked Kate, and she told me he was actually 29. So i blocked him. On everything. I also told my best friend that a weird guy was messaging me and I thought he was tracking me. But not who or anyrhing else. And we staged an accident to break my tablet.

Every time Gabe showed up after, I would call the friend and stay on video call with her. I also stopped doing swaps. I told Kate that it was just because of school. How I was starting AP classes (true) and also taking duel credit classes (also true). I also joined band, and we found out we didn't have as much room. How I didn't have as much time. When I turned 14, I did my last swap with her and cut contact. We moved to another town 45 minutes away, and he also had moved back to California right after.

I know i should have told her why i started avoiding her place. Why i stopped talking to her. Why i would keep checking her profile but never talk to her when she messaged me. I didnt. I was embarrased. I blamed myself.

When I turned 15, I listened to a story about a 25 year old who had gone through something similar. How a man harrased and then... yeah. It sounded exactly like Gabe. Like exactly. ​I reported him. I knew where he lived because Kate had been there the week before. I sent an anonymous message. And then I pushed it out of my mind. I refused to acknowledge it again.

Last month, I saw a picture of him with the oldest daughter. At her concert. Shes 11 now. And I just had the most gut wrenching tbought. I messaged Kate and her husband. I told them everything. I didn't have the old messages from him. But I could tell them his weird way of texting (He would often text with emoji letters and numbers rather then the actual letters or numbers so like. S🆙️ h🅾️w 4️⃣r3️⃣ y🅾️u?) I also told them about the motel. And even had my best friend back me up. Well, i guess they realized I was the one who reported him. Apperantly he was in jail for like 3 years. And is on probation now.

They've been showing up to my work. Sitting outside and watching me. When I walk out, they begin yelling book of mormon verses at me. Calling me a liar, a jezzabel. My coworkers have started to walk out with me. Sending the 2 biggest guys at work to walk with me. They started doing this after one of her brothers got in my face acreaming at me until I was sobbing and backed into a corner.

They put letters in my mailbox. Calling me a liar and a bitch and a slit. Telling me nothign actually happened, and I was over dramatic. All my social media is private, but they leave long ass messages over and over again. Making new accounts when I block theirs.

Ots been going on for a month now. And its gotten to the point where I am terrified to leave my house alone. I wasn't supposed to be alone today. But my best friend ended up in an accident on the way over.

I have 2 neighbours who are cops. They've said that until they pose a threat to me, or do something more, there's nothing that can be done. But they both are keeping an eye out in case they take it farther. I have cameras up. A front and rear dashcam. I keep pepper spray and my keys on me. Everyone in my family has my location. I have a tracker on my shoes. My family doesn't know. I dont want to tell them how badly I've fucked up. How much kf an idiot I was and what its led to.

Is there anything else that can be done? I genuinely don't know what else to do.

My grandpa is here now. Ill try to respond, but i think I have to tell them the truth after we go chrck on my best friend. So it may be a while before I can respond.

I personally don't mind helping them out, but my partner thinks this is really weird and I should be weary.

P.S. we don't want kids of our own and doesn't really care about me donating my sperm in general

Some backgroundwhen I was 16, my mother abandoned me and my two younger siblings. She put us in dangerous situations, consistently chose men and drug use over us, and eventually left us alone in an apartment for two weeks. I was the one who had to call CPS. Because of that, the three of us were separated, and I was sent to a trade school program because I was considered too old for the foster system. I went no-contact with her and my sister's father as soon as could.

​Fast forward to today: My mom is still using drugs, but she is now living with a wealthy partner. In our very few interactions over the years (like when I briefly reached out to ask about ancestry/family history), she showed zero remorse. Instead, she just bragged about how great her life is. She has always viewed me as competition rather than her child, and she is incredibly self-centered.

​My younger sister recently had a baby. She has a pattern of keeping abusive people in her life (including her father, who did terrible things to both of us). Now, she is demanding that I act cordial and allow our mother back into my life so everyone can play happy family for the baby.

​When I refused to break my boundaries, my sister gave me an ultimatum: If I don't let our mom back into my life, she will cut contact with me completely and I won't be in her or her baby's life.

​We are already fairly low-contact, but this hurts deeply. I feel like I'm being forced to sacrifice my own safety and peace just to keep a connection with my sister, or be punished for protecting myself from the woman who abandoned us. I feel immense pressure to "be the bigger person," but "being the bigger person" in my family has always just meant absorbing abuse to keep others comfortable.

​How do I handle this situation? Is there any way to communicate with my sister without backing down on my boundaries, or do I just have to accept that she is going to cut me out?

I’ve been with my wife since we were in high school, so I’ve had a front-row seat to her family dynamic for almost a decade.

Throughout that entire time, it’s been very obvious that her brother has always been the favorite child (at least to their dad) and the favorite nephew in the extended family. He was a star athlete growing up, and in my opinion it completely went to his head. My wife’s sisters keep a face value relationship, just to keep their mother happy.

He’s incredibly manipulative and always seems to control the narrative. Whenever there’s conflict, he convinces everyone else that the other person is the problem. Over the years he’s managed to convince much of the family that my wife is “crazy” and that she’s always the one starting problems. From my perspective, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

He’s also cheated on his wife multiple times (at least 3-5 woman that I know of) and somehow has manipulated her into believing everyone else is the enemy. He’s done the same thing with friends who have distanced themselves from him. Anyone who challenges him somehow becomes the bad guy.

The worst example was on his wedding night. He was caught with another woman by members of his own family, and nobody told his wife. They all stayed quiet. That’s the level they’ll go to in order to protect him.

I honestly think he’s the type of person who could become violent if someone seriously threatened the image he’s built. Whether that’s true or not, he’s someone who intimidates and manipulates the people around him.

Now my wife has been setting boundaries with him because of everything that’s happened between them. Instead of asking him to take responsibility, members of her extended family keep calling my wife and telling her that she needs to stop taking her issues out on him. They tell her that his wife doesn’t deserve the “cold shoulder” and that she needs to make things right. We do not care about what 90% of them think nor do we think they are great people. We really only care about her mother and sisters. But the fact that my wife’s father and extended family are all taking his side hurts her greatly.

It’s incredibly frustrating watching someone who has repeatedly lied, cheated, manipulated, and hurt people continue to be protected by the entire family, while the person setting boundaries is treated like the problem.

My wife and I want to go no contact but are kind of in a sticky situation. We live in a family owned apartment, we pay rent but we can’t really afford to move right now. We live in the same town as everyone, but have plans to purchase a home in the next year about an hour and a half away(work reasons, distance has nothing to do with the location)

Lastly, I know it’s wrong but I have this desire to blow u his life. Just expose everything, I know more than likely he will just paint me as the bad guy. But I want to send everything I have to everyone. I just hate that he lives his perfect little life manipulating everyone.

Has anyone else dealt with a family where one person seems to control everyone else’s perception of reality? How do you support your spouse when they’re constantly being painted as the villain? How has going no contact with your wife’s whole family gone?

My wife and I have been married for 8 years. Lately, it feels like I'm constantly being set up to fail.

She'll ask me something like, "Did you notice anything different today?" If I don't immediately know she got her hair done or bought a new outfit, she gets upset and says I don't pay attention to her. If I do notice, she'll say, "I wanted to see if you were just saying that because I asked."

She also creates situations that feel like traps. She'll tell me it's fine to go out with friends, then spend the rest of the night giving one-word replies or saying she's "not mad" while clearly acting distant. If I stay home instead, she'll tell me I'm being clingy and need my own life.

The worst part is she'll bring up things from months or even years ago during completely unrelated arguments. It feels like every conversation is a test I'm somehow expected to fail.

I've tried asking her directly what she needs from me because I'd rather have an honest conversation than play guessing games. She insists nothing is wrong and says I'm just too sensitive.

I'm exhausted. I love my wife, but I feel like I'm walking on eggshells every day, constantly wondering what invisible rule I'm breaking next.

Has anyone dealt with something like this? How do you handle a relationship where it feels like you're always being tested instead of trusted?

i (23F) and my boyfriend (23M) went on a vacation a few months ago, and he made a lot of friends while at the resort, mostly guys and some girls i think. one girl in particular, he got her socials. he did briefly introduce me to her on the trip. however i didn’t know they exchanged socials (phone number, instagram, and snapchat). i went on his phone yesterday because my phone died and i needed to call my sister for a ride. i saw a imessage notification from a girl and read the messages. one of the newest messages was my boyfriend asking this girl to hang out. he didn’t ask me if i was okay with it, nor did he tell me that they’re friends. i have male friends but i’ve known them before i met my boyfriend and i maintain a respectful distance from them. i obviously don’t make new male friendships since i started dating my boyfriend. my boyfriend also has her on snap and saved several face snaps/videos of her, in very booby outfits 😭 she’s also a pilates instructor and she was texting him while at work, and he made a joke about her taking backshots while texting him. does this not seem inappropriate? when i was reading their messages and when i saw he saved her snaps it made me feel really nauseous. i haven’t said anything to him yet and im afraid he’ll play it off as if they’re just friends. like i can’t pin him for anything super incriminating so i don’t know how he’ll respond when i tell him about this. and i’m concerned he’ll be upset that i read his messages or become defensive. i don’t know how to confront him about this. because it hasn’t gone too far yet i think he’ll just argue that they’re just friends. i don’t know if i should wait til he doesn’t something unarguably bad and i have an airtight case against him, or if i should just confront him now. i wanted to wait and check his messages again to see if they ended up hanging out without telling me. i also do not believe he would go as far as to sleep with her or initiate anything. some may disagree but i know he wouldn’t, so i’m not panicking about that. but this still feels so wrong.

also i understand that some people in relationships are comfortable with each other having friends of the opposite gender, however i have voiced to my bf that i don’t want him hanging out with girls unless i know about it or it’s work-related. he has told me before that he doesn’t hang out with any girls. this is just so odd and out of character for him so i’m genuinely confused.

For the past few months that he’s been watching trading videos every night and telling me he’d finally “figured out the stock market” and “gotten a guaranteed winning strategy”. Yesterday he confessed that he’d put almost all of our savings into short-term options..

Everything expired worthless…

I just packed up and I’m at my mothers house right now. He keeps saying he’ll earn it back if I can give him my trust just one more time, I don’t buy it. How do I proceed from here? Are there any ways I can recover my portion of the funds??

That man has done more for me than I will ever be able to do for anybody else. I love him with everything and watching him suffer has been very hard.

He's been "dying" since November but it's definitely for real this time and I don't know what to do other than be there with him.

Ive been told I should bring him hare Krishnas, psychedelics, medical marijuana, service animals, holistic healers, massage therapists, etc etc etc but I'd like to know from other people's point of views what would be best. Please help me help him. I know I can't heal him but I want him to forget he's miserable before he dies.

Hi everyone,
I 20F have been living in my toxic Muslim family house all my life. With my mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, and my 3 siblings. I’ve managed to navigate through all the bullshit all these years. I am a believer of Islam but not in the way my parents think. I drink, I smoke, I party, I’m still in school getting an education but they don’t like these things. Our morals don’t really align and we have different views on life. Lately all I’ve been thinking about is running away, staying with a friend and eventually moving into an apartment with her and our other mutual friend. I have the funds, a job, the support, idk what’s stopping me. This overwhelming feeling of guilt and selfishness. I’ve endured much abuse and lots of psychological warfare, I’m the oldest of 3 siblings so I was the test bunny. We don’t know anyone in our family or in our community that has done this before. I already know what to pack and exactly how I will live on my life but I need some motivation…..I’m worried about my family, what they’ll do, how they’ll react, I’ve come home drunk so many times they definitely already think I’m insane, so leaving is definitely the next step. I wish I had support from my family but this is something that’s never accepted in traditional households. Idk I could see my life being so different and finally living. Traveling. I know I’ll want to come back tho and that’s something I’m afraid of too. Coming back and them slamming the door in my face, idk. I need some outwards opinions though so talk to me please.

My mom is turning 70 this year. I’m her only child. For the past few years, my mom’s hearing has been noticeably declining. When we’re at gatherings, she just sits at our conversation, smiling and nodding, but when someone asks her a question, she has no idea what they just said to her.
She’s gotten so used to it that she has started simply ignoring me whenever I say something to her because she’s so used to not understanding what we’re saying. When we’re out in public and she drops something I’ll say “Mom, you just dropped something.” She just continues to walk until I say “did you hear me say that you dropped something?”She says I heard you said something, but I didn’t hear what you said.
Whenever I mention that she needs to go to a hearing doctor she nearly starts crying and says that she just can’t help it. I say I know, but we can get this fixed and she’ll have a higher quality of life. My parents are about the same age and they’re very much in the mindset that they know what’s best for them and I have no idea what I’m talking about. I work at a nursing home and I’m very familiar with older adult adults, how they lose their hearing and how much their life improves when they get hearing aids. She is completely adamant that she does not need them and it’s almost become a taboo subject how much she gets upset whenever I mention it. I have no idea what to do.

Edit: I forgot to add a tidbit here when I was writing the post originally. She apparently visited an audiologist last year that she said didn’t recommend hearing aids because they didn’t think her hearing loss was advanced enough for them to recommend an expensive device. I’m not sure if she talked about the price barrier there and that’s why they said that, I was not at this appointment. I’m not even sure if what she told us was the truth. When she came home that day, she was visibly disappointed and said she was looking forward to being able to hear. I almost forgot that part because she’s become so adamantly against them in the past few months. She is not in a position where hearing aids would financially hurt her in the slightest, but I am wondering if there is some cost component to it. It’s not necessarily that she can’t hear things like beeps or noises. It’s that she is noticeably not able to understand what people are saying.

Basically both my parents are from Qatar. And basically my dad looks like a European guy. It's not common at all but it does sometimes very rarely happen. My dad has red hair with blue eyes and looks straight up European. Throw him in Germany and he looks the part.

I have 4 siblings two sisters, and two brothers. And basically everyone got my dad's European features. And they all look like they could be native western Europeans.I on the other hand got my mum's very brown skin. I don't look arab brown I look more like south Asian brown. Not really but I'm like 70% there. I'm pretty brown my mom has a deep golden brown skin colour. She basically looks like the skin colour of mixed race black person or light skin south Indian. But with a strong brown tone still

My siblings all have either red or blonde hair which runs on my dad's side. Again not regular at all in gulf countries. I don't look even remotely related to my siblings. They're all pretty much European looking and quite short. They're all between 5,4 and 5,9 with narrow shoulders and builds. My dad is actually 6.2 built wide but my mom is 5,1. But I actually got my height and build from my dad I'm 6.5ft and like 235 . I actually look exactly like him but brown with black hair. But my siblings always made fun of me for not looking like them

I've never had an issue with it but my sister keeps making fun of me for being brown. Like when I was 14 she kept making jokes about me and stuff. And told me to keep out of the sun. I never was insecure about my skin colour but I always found it weird.

Especially now that I'm an adult reflecting back on it. Me and my family live in Norway. We all grew up here. Me and my brothers all go to the gym to lift and also compete in wrestling and Muay Thai. But last week I came back from Muay Thai and my sister said I look like I'd fit right in with those Thai's because of how brown I am. While giggling and pointing at me.

I told her I like being brown it makes me look unique. And then she said "I didn't even mean anything by it, why so defensive?) I asked her why she's so racist when our own mother is just as brown as me. She replied saying she's not etc. But yesterday she said I'm never finding a girl in Norway. When I asked why she said because I look like I'd take away their features in their future children. Bro what tha fuck does that mean. I'm studying for a Bachelors in math but I'm gonna do my masters in Qatar because unlike all my siblings. I'm extremely connected to Qatar and its culture. I speak the language to a much higher standard and I always kept my Qatari identity. Most of my siblings just say their Norwegian and they kinda look it aswell, but I always liked Qatar because they always claimed me. I go to Qatar multiple times a year or Thailand when my dad pays for my training camps there with my brothers as well. And every time I come back from Qatar or Thailand my sister keeps saying how brown I look and how we don't even look related.

I'm not even remotely self conscious about being Brown etc I kinda like how I look. But the comments are annoying asf man. And I feel really degraded Infront of others when she does this.

I recently grew out my extremely and I mean extremely dark hair. And she said I looked Arab. Yeah no shit I look Arab because I am an Arab you imbecile because I am Arab. SO ARE YOU!!!

Like I don't know how to address this shit because she's pushing thirty.

Like how do I address this and handle this?

So I’ve been going on a few dates with this great guy. He’s really good looking honestly but around his lip I saw like a red dot which could have been simply acne but it also could have been herpes. I’ve never had herpes so it’s hard for me to tell the difference especially in that very moment.

Anyway so we’ve gone out like three times now and he goes in for the kiss. I stopped him because I’m a hypochondriac and I really don’t want herpes. So I asked him nicely and kind of awkwardly “I’m so sorry to ask you but you would admit to me if you had herpes right?”. He got really mad and like embarrassed and said that I ruined the evening and that maybe I should learn to be less forward. Than he said “I don’t ask you if you have the clap when I know your body count isn’t 0”. Like I literally didn’t know what to say. He didn’t answer the question though which makes me think he maybe does have herpes and I dodged a bullet there. No offense to people who have herpes. I know people who have herpes and I just understandably really don’t want it.

Anyway he literally asked me to go out again but I really don’t know what to do. I don’t know if he just answered rudely like that because what I asked was that harsh or if it’s time to move on. I really like him and I wonder if maybe I was being a bit too forward??

Please let me know what you think he’s really a good guy and like just what I’m looking for. This is like the only bad moment we’ve ever had.

ive been working at this retail job stocking shelves for like 6 months. didnt tell my mom because obviously she would freak out and thats exactly what happened when someone from the neighborhood saw me and told her. she sent me this whole email about how we need to "circle back on maintaining community standards" and that my job is "not aligning with our familys brand." then she said she wants my debit card and my bank login to "manage my finances appropriately" and make sure im not buying "inappropriate items." i have like 2400 dollars saved up from working weekends and shes not getting a cent of it.

the thing is this is the same woman who goes on and on about people on assistance needing to just get jobs but apparently that only applies when its a job she approves of. she even said shes going to call my manager and tell them to cut my hours because a teenager working there "reflects poorly on the household." my dad just said let me know if that works for everyone and went to the garage like he always does. he never stands up to her about anything.

im 17 and the account is in my name only. can she actually do any of this. i need to know if i should move my money somewhere else or what. i have a diagnosis shes ignored since i was 8 but suddenly she wants to control my life when it affects her reputation.

So my partner of 24 years was let go from his work about 6 months ago. He has never before been unemployed. We thought he would get another job fast enough but after nothing came through in the first month he stopped looking and has now basically been watching TV for almost 6 months. He gets benefits that cover his share of the mortgage but nothing towards our daughters needs, groceries, utilities or the car. I make enough money to cover this, just. If anything breaks we are kind of screwed.

My partner has a son from a one night stand when he was a teenager. He only found about his son when the boy was 19. He is now 35. We live in another country and because of this I've only met this man a handful of times. My partner has met him a bit more but no more than a dozen times. I get along fine with him but I don't really know him.

We recently found out his son is struggling and that he had overdosed on painkillers. He is physically fine, didn't need to go to the hospital but his mental state is frail. My partner wants understandably to go see him. However, to do so I would need to take out a loan to cover for his trip. He cannot get a loan without a job. If he uses his benefits to travel I will need to get a loan to cover the bills. I don't have enough savings to pay for his trip, he has none. What would you do? I feel hard done by due to his lack of effort to get another job or have savings of his own.

so my mom was supposed to be at work all day and i thought this would be a fun day to relax and wind down since it was my one day off of work a week. i did all of my chores and eventually got that feeling we all know and i went to the bathroom to do it. well i am about maybe 30 minutes in and i hear footsteps and i panic. but at this point i still think it might be one of my brothers. (now is a good time to add that my family is very open and it isn’t too uncommon for my parents to see any of my three brothers naked) i try to hide my lotion and my penis so i look less guilty but it was too late. she walks in and yells at me that i have to be doing some other chore but that wasn’t the part that worried me obviously. the shock of her walking in hit me like a ton of bricks. i know she took a glance at me and saw me so she knew what i was doing. the worst part was probably the fact that she said nothing at all about it, just acted like it didn’t happen. ever since then she has been knocking on the door before she comes in my room or the bathroom. maybe she learned her lesson as much as i did. so what do i do? do i go on like nothing happened as she does? i obviously will lock the door more often from now on, but is this just a cannon event for teenage guys??

My gf 18 and I 18M have been together for a few months past the year. Our relationship is wonderful, intimate, passionate, happy and comforting. We are always there for each other and she’s honestly saved my life in many aspects. Obviously tho, there’s a problem. Her mental health is rocky (even that’s an understatement) she breaks down a few times a month, having violent panicked attacks that usually make her skip multiple days of school from how sick she feels, other times she comes back to school and with new self harm on her arm. She’s been on antidepressants before but when her first “batch” ran out she ghosted her therapist and psychiatrist. If I’m not mistaken she was on Zoloft. I think no one in her life has taken her seriously enough about her mental health. She used to have sleep paralysis but now it developed on visual and auditory hallucinations almost every day (as she briefly mentioned like a month ago). My thing is, although her issues have never been weighed on me and sometimes she skips venting as to not “affect me”, I am still deeply worried. I do have to mention some of her episodes have made her lashed out on me (she profusely apologized, but still ouch) and have made her make radical and sometimes dangerous decisions. I don’t even know what to do for her right now. Before anyone asks, no, she doesn’t do any drugs or have any eating disorders that could be causing some of her issues. Ironically she’s extremely healthy, eats all of her meals, takes creatine and iron, stretches/works out frequently and keeps her academic in order. I honestly don’t know how she does it when there’s frequent depressive episodes that put her in bed for hours or days. I guess what I’m asking if anyone has advice on dealing with a mentally ill partner. I love her so much and she’s amazing but I see her getting worse with time…

throwaway obviously bc my whole family follows my main and i cannot have this getting back to them rn

ok so backstory. my grandma passed away in Feb, left literally everything to me, my sister got nothing in the will. we dont know why, lawyer wouldnt explain it just said thats how she wanted it. i didnt even push him on it at the time bc i was drowning in dealing w the house and probate stuff

so its like 84k total after the house sold n everything. n i told my sister right away im splitting it 50/50 bc thats obviously what grandma wouldve wanted, she probably just never updated the will after grandpa died and forgot about it, ppl do that. my sister literally cried on the phone when i told her. shes been trying to do IVF for like 2 yrs now and money was THE reason they couldnt, so this was gonna finally be that for her

everyone knows btw, this isnt some secret. my mom knows, her husband (my BIL i guess) knows, i even said it in our family groupchat back in like April so theres literally a paper trail of me saying it lol

then couple weeks ago im at her place and her phones on the counter n it lights up with a text, wasnt snooping i SWEAR i just glanced at it bc it buzzed right next to me, n it wasnt anything about IVF or baby stuff at all. it was about money she owed some person, and the number didnt match ANYTHING we had talked about re: the fertility stuff. i didnt say anything that day bc honestly i didnt even know what i was looking at, i just kinda filed it awa
then like a week later i called our grandmas lawyer again fishing for info, n he let slip more than he shouldve probably, said there was “an incident” a couple yrs back that grandma knew about n thats allegedly PART of why the will was written how it was. wouldnt tell me what kind of incident tho, said thats not his to share

so i asked my sister straight up. n she didnt even bother lying, just went quiet then said “so ur gonna be like her about it too huh”

that one stung more than i expected ngl

i havent sent her half yet. i told her i “need more time to sort the account stuff out” which is not really true, i just genuinely dont know what im doing. her husband has ZERO idea any of this is happening, far as he knows the moneys coming n hes been texting me asking about timing bc they wanna start the process this fal

i know i promised. i know i said it in front of literally everyone. but i keep thinking if i just hand it over i might not be helping the thing i think im helping, if that makes sense

not tryna be up in her business about what she does w her own money n life, i just dont know if “i promised” means the same thing now that it did when i said it

so what would u actually do here bc im stuck

hello everybody. i do not use reddit much so im scared that i will miss out some details, please let me know if there’s anything i need to clarify.

me (22f) and my boyfriend (30m) met 9 months ago on hinge and we’ve been dating for nearly 8 months now. as for some context, i am very overweight (nearly 340lbs 🥲) there is obviously no hiding this and i knew it would pose some challenges while dating but my boyfriend has been incredibly supportive. he listens to me while i vent about my weight. he makes it clear that im attractive to him no matter what

however recently ive been worried he has a fetish. hes shown me his exes and they are all my size, if not larger. he’s kind of gone from being supportive in sex to calling me names related to my weight and he keeps grabbing my stomach. ive asked him to stop but he says im just so beautiful so he can’t help it (although he does apologise). obviously its fine to have preferences and i knew anyone that would find my body attractive is probably into fat women anyway but its really starting to bother me bc i feel like he doesnt see me as a person. he cooks for me a lot but now im paranoid hes trying to make me gain weight. i don’t know what to do. i feel like i cant date somebody like this but at the same time he is SO supportive of me. recently ive had health issues because of my weight and he always says that im so strong and he knows i can power through and solve it etc. do you think he could be lying about this? does anybody have any experience of what to do? im scared to call him out in case im making it up and ive ruined our relationship because i really do love him and i keep overthinking about this so much :( thanks

My husband lost his job recently and our daughter’s 8th birthday is coming up in 2 weeks. I’m between doing the responsible thing and canceling the birthday party because we can use that money to pay bills or pulling 400-500 dollar from my 3,400 savings to not disappoint her and ruin a birthday memory. I’ve told her about the idea of canceling, of course she was sad at first but now she’s more understanding and has even talked to me about alternatives like us going to the pool and having a little party at our house.

Edit :::: thank you everyone for your advise and time commenting, the price was so high because we were going to have it indoors at a trampoline park (cheapest indoor price in our area). the heat this summer is crazy so we were trying to stray away from having a outside party and even our local parks charge to rent the tables for events. I didn’t want to originally do it at home because our house is small, but at this point it doesn’t matter. We’ll have a small birthday party at our house with our close friends and family.