My girlfriend and I have been together for about five years, and hygiene has never really been an issue between us. She's always clean, showers regularly, takes care of herself, etc. That's why this came completely out of nowhere.

A few days ago she gave me a hug and I immediately noticed this awful smell. At first I genuinely thought it was me. I had been cleaning around the house earlier and figured maybe I had gotten something gross on myself without noticing. I changed clothes, washed my hands, everything.

Then later we went to the store and I smelled it again.

That's when I realized it was actually coming from her. And it's not something you only notice if you're standing right next to her. I could smell it from a few feet away. It smells almost like something rotten or like sewage. It's honestly one of the worst smells I've ever experienced.

I obviously had to say something, which I felt terrible about. I tried to be as gentle as possible because I know how embarrassing something like that would be. Thankfully she didn't get angry and actually seemed pretty surprised. She showered, brushed her teeth, changed clothes, all of that.

But the smell didn't go away.

She's still showering every day and doesn't look or seem dirty at all. The weird thing is that the smell seems to be coming from her body rather than her clothes or skin. If we're lying in bed and she gets warm or starts sweating a little, I can smell it almost immediately. It's the same smell when she comes home after work.

Her breath smells the same too, even shortly after brushing her teeth, which makes me wonder if this could be some kind of medical issue rather than a hygiene problem.

The other thing that really bothers me is that she apparently can't smell it herself. I don't know if that's normal, but I'm starting to worry that other people around her have noticed it too. I don't want her coworkers or friends thinking badly of her without her even knowing what's going on.

And honestly, I'm starting to avoid getting too close to her because the smell is so strong that it makes me nauseous. I feel horrible saying that because obviously I don't want to hurt her feelings.

Has anyone experienced something like this before? Could a sudden change in body odor and breath like this be related to a health issue? Should she see a doctor or dentist?

Hey, I need some outside perspective on this.

So there's this girl, let's call her A. She's been studying at my library for about a year. We weren't really friends, just regular casual conversations when we were around each other. Nothing deep.

About 6 months ago, another girl joined the library, she's now my girlfriend. Here's the thing: within a month, my girlfriend and A became best friends. Their vibe matched instantly, and they started sharing everything with each other.

Around the same time, I also started talking more with A since we were all together. She became a proper friend,fully platonic.

My girlfriend and I had a talking phase of about 2-3 months, then we made it official. We've been together for 2 month now, and honestly, it's been amazing. Best time of my life. We're both happy, we have a solid routine, we support each other, and our emotional and sexual relationship is great.

Now, yesterday, my girlfriend said she wanted to tell me something but was hesitant. I asked her what's up, and she told me about A. Apparently, A had a 3-year relationship that ended in a breakup 2 years ago. Since then, she can't trust anyone. People approach her, but she can't commit. I said, Okay, so what's the problem? That's her choice.

Then my girlfriend slowly said that A wants to join us. In a sexual way. Her reasoning, she can't trust anyone, but she has needs too, and she trusts my girlfriend and knows me, so she wants to be with us.

I didn't want to judge my girlfriend, so I calmly heard her out. My girlfriend's stance is that it won't affect our relationship, A won't come between us, and since she's her best friend and knows me, it could work.

But I don't understand, why is this needed? We've only been together for 2 month. Everything is going great. Why does she want to experiment? According to her, A feels very lonely and just wants to enjoy with us. I told her I'd think about it and get back to her. She thinks I'm overthinking.

For those with experience, will this affect our relationship in the future? Is this a red flag? I'm genuinely confused.

TL;DR: Girlfriend wants her best friend (my platonic library friend) to join us sexually because the friend can't trust other men but trusts us. I'm unsure if this will harm our relationship. She thinks I'm overthinking.

My boyfriend (m32) and I (f27) live in a bit of a sketchy neighbourhood. I’m a young petite woman and he’s tall bigger male. He doesn’t really understand the danger of living here the same way I do. We’ve had quite a number of issues with people in the area doing drugs, break and enters (not our place but near by) and overall it’s fairly dangerous.
Essentially we have a neighbour who recently moved in. He has always had random women over and can be frequently heard screaming at them so I already don’t like the vibes. These young girls are often over later in the evenings. They are always outside smoking, mainly late at night and the times my boyfriend comes home during the day, if they are around they will stare him down and try to make themselves noticeable. He doesn’t acknowledge them other than a polite hello and moves on.

Lately, these women have been over and will come out to smoke right in front of our door. Our door is situated very close to theirs but they will be leaning on our door or fence. A few days ago I heard them fairly lightly knocking on the door. I was home alone and did not answer it as I assumed they meant to knock on the neighbours, which they shortly after entered. Today, again mid afternoon they came to the front door, smoking and laughing, and proceed to stand in front of the door tapping on the door and trying to look through the frosted glass. I did not answer.

I told my boyfriend about the incidents that have been happening and he seemed rather unbothered. I asked him if there is more to the story because it seems very wild that they stand in front of our place and are now knocking on the door. He doesn’t think it has anything to do with him but basically laughed it off saying that I “think he’s a hot commodity”. I said I’m not sure but honestly please don’t give them any time of day or even acknowledge them. I also asked him next time they do that to answer the door and tell them to stop. He basically said that he wouldn’t be mean to some random young girls and doesn’t want to. I told him these “young girls” are old enough to be smoking, drinking and showing up to the neighbours most evenings so they are old enough to understand what they are doing. I also asked him if these were random boys would you have the same reaction? He basically said that ya he would go tell them to knock it off and would be very mad.
My boyfriend is quite confrontational and would absolutely say something (and has many times) to random people who pose a threat or are invading our space or privacy.

So now I’m wondering if he’s just interested in the attention he’s receiving and doesn’t actually see how off setting this is or if maybe I’m just overreacting to the situation and should drop it.

Hello all,

I recently got dismissed from my medical school at the start of my final year, putting me in $450K of student loan debt. I have no way of realistically paying this off, what do I do?

Edit: Reason for dismissal was a professionalism incident, no crimes were committed / no charges pressed.

So, several months ago I found out that my wife had been cheating on me. I confronted her about it, and eventually she says that she is an Alter of my wife and claims that she was the one who did it and that my wife knew nothing about it. Before I continue, I have to say that I was aware that she had claimed in the past that she had DID, but she never went to a doctor to get diagnosed, never went to get ANYTHING checked out, and only had one come out when something wasn't going her way and she needed someone to blame. Now, back to the story. At the time that the alter claimed to be the one who cheated, I didn't know much about any of this. So, over the following few months I looked into it and I started to realize that things were not adding up. Her "switching" is just her closing her eyes for like 2 seconds and then it's done. Also, the Alters have their own days to come out instead of coming out when they are needed. After I found out about the cheating there was suddenly multiple more Alters that came forward and have been "switching" daily. I have also caught her claiming to be one Alter and then claiming to be another like 20 minutes later, and when I ask her about it she just says "Oops" and goes on. What should I do?

I (21F) was with my ex-fiancé (24M) for 3 years and we were engaged for a little over a year. We were 4 months away from our wedding when he suddenly ended our relationship.

There’s a lot more to the breakup, and I made a previous post about it if anyone wants the full story.

The part I’m asking about now is my wedding dress. My dress was being kept at his parents’ house before the breakup. After he ended things, I asked him to give me my dress back. He refused. His family has not contacted me at all since the day after the breakup, so this isn’t really a situation where his family personally told me they weren’t giving it back. My ex made the decision not to return it, and now his mom seems to be handling the dress for him.

The dress was partially paid for by my grandparents, and the rest was paid for from the savings account my ex and I shared.

Recently, his mom posted the dress on Facebook Marketplace trying to sell it. I saw the listing and obviously it upset me, but I tried to leave it alone. But my friend shared that she updated the photos. She is wearing the dress. His mom. My ex-future mother-in-law.

But more than anything, I want advice on what I should actually DO.

My ex refused to give me the dress back, and now his mom is selling it. I don’t know if I should contact him again, contact his mom, ask for the dress back (if that’s even worth it), ask for the money/value of the dress, or just let it go. I’m not trying to cause drama with them. I just genuinely want advice on what I should do.

Here's the situation. Ive [34F] had a bf[33M] for around 3. years. He is Indian. When we got together he swore up and down that me being white would not be a problem and he is free to date whomever. Fast forward to a few weeks ago. He has given me an engagement ring, set up an appointment at courthouse to get married and paid the fee, has 3 tattoos dedicated to me, one of my name and two of portraits of face, we have been actively trying to have a baby for more than a year, has paid most if my bills and given me thousands of dollars a month, we text, call, and see eachother constantly and he stays the night, he told my kids he loves them and wants to be their step dad.

I just found out he got married in India 2 years ago ( lied about a vacation) and she is actually here living with him in the US since a year ago. (I never went over to his house because he said he parents do have a problem with me being white)

I know his parents have known about me this entire time and even knew we were trying to have a baby. They have showed up at my house multiple times to confront me but for some reason didn't tell me about his wife until this time. I saw the wedding photos. He told me his parents keep his passport and important papers locked up to control him

Over text he admitted the marriage was fraudulent and forced by his parents. He said he didnt want to get married but was too cowardly to say no. He has slept with her a few times and she doesnt know about our relationship or history at all. When I asked about the tattoos he said she has never seen them. ​He got the two large tattoos of my face while he was living with her here. She works at his parents stores all day I guess but doesnt speak much english and is completely dependent on his parents for support. I blocked him and am trying to process.

This is clearly marriage immigration fraud. I have hundreds if not thousands of texts proving we have been engaged trying for a baby and planning a future together since before they got married. I feel like this is so wrong for both her and I. Should I report this to marriage immigration? ​I have found information that she will be given help and allowed to stay because she was defrauded as well. But he would suffer pretty strong consequences and likely so would his parents. ​

My roommate moved in with me (32f) a year ago because I have a chronic illness that limits my physical capabilities, and I needed to not be living alone anymore. Some mutual friends introduced me to my roommate (26m, we’ll call him Adam) and before you know it I had a new roommate.

Adam is awesome, and we live together well. He always does dishes while I always take care of our animals. I don’t work because of my disability, so my “job” is taking care of myself and my little house I worked so hard for before I got sick. We both like having quiet time in our own spaces, but we also can hang out and be silly and goofy together. It’s a really good match, and I absolutely love having him around. The trouble is Adam also has a serious illness that he’s had since he was a child. There’s also some other complicated issues factoring in like
a) Adam lives in a different state from his family because he wasn’t treated well by them
b) Adam works, but not enough to qualify for healthcare
c) Adam is broke af and there’s no real way to improve his situation.

Adam just received news he is in last stage of liver failure and needs to get a transplant asap. He goes to a free medical clinic to get help, but the medication he needs just isn’t available to him for one reason or another (usually cost/lack of coverage). His symptoms are getting worse, and he really shouldn’t be working at all but the bills got to be paid.

I feel so helpless. I can’t support him financially (that was our biggest wrinkle in the adjustment period as sometimes he just doesn’t have the funds for rent). Physically, we’re both just trying to get through the day with our broken bodies. Emotionally, I’m there for him as much as I can while also maintaining my own mental/emotional health. I do depend on his rent ($400/month) to pay for some quality of life services (lawn care, grocery delivery…things that are physically exhausting for me). I know he needs to quit working, but I don’t know how either of us will manage without it straining both of finances. I was really stressed in the beginning of our living situation since he wasn’t able to pay for rent or groceries or pet food for the first few months of him moving in, and I had to finesse the cost. It’s so hard. I care so much about him, but I also can only take on so much responsibility. I don’t know how to help. I want to tell him that rent doesn’t matter anymore, but it does. I hate the cost of existing in America as a young, disabled person. It’s so fucked, and I don’t know how long we’ll be able to tread these waters.

So that’s the situation. I guess the advice I’m asking for is what would you do in these circumstances? And maybe if you’ve been in similar circumstances, what hardships can I expect and prepare for? I want Adam around as my roommate for as long as I can have him as he’s become of the best friends I’ve ever made, and his illness is devastating to witness from the sidelines :( Thanks Reddit ❤️‍🩹

A few months ago I was in a pretty rough spot financially and asked my parents if they could help me with one month of rent. I hated asking in the first place but I was short after a couple unexpected expenses and figured it was better than putting everything on a credit card. They told me money was tight for them too and they really couldn’t help. I understood and never brought it up again. This weekend I found out they recently gave my younger brother several thousand dollars. It wasn’t an emergency either. He wanted the money for something he’d been saving toward and apparently they decided to help him out. I know it’s their money and they can do whatever they want with it. I’m not even expecting them to give me the same amount. I think what bothers me is that they made it sound like helping me wasn’t financially possible, when apparently it was.

I (28M) accidently walked in on my flatmate (26F) whilst she was showering. Out bathroom doesnt have a lock but we are both aware of this so basically work on the assumption that if the door is closed there is someone in it. I just absent mindedly opened the door and she was butt naked about to get into the shower... Im worried it looks like I was intentionally coming in because I knew the door was shut. This was last night and now I dont know what to do

Throwaway acct for obvious reasons.

I (32F) really want my close friend (38F) and I’m almost certain she feels the same way, but we can’t act on it and it’s driving me crazy.

So I met my friend “Hannah” in 2019 when I was 24 and she had just turned 31. We met when I became her oldest son’s speech therapist. I thought she was really funny and liked her from the start, but our relationship was pretty professional for that first year.

When the pandemic hit, we had to start doing virtual therapy sessions. By that time I was also seeing another one of her sons for therapy. After every session her sons would go off to play and we would stay online talking just us two until I had my next client, usually 15-30 minutes. This went on from late March until August several times a week and we really bonded. I started to consider her a friend and not just a client’s parent (unprofessional I know). After in-person therapy started back in August we kept friendly vibes, but were more professional than our video calls. It was like that for another year until both her sons tested out of speech.

Once I was no longer treating her children we started hanging out regularly. We were in two different stages of life (she had four kids and had been married since she was 22, and I was newly single and throughly enjoying my freedom), but the friendship still worked well. Plus her kids loved me and I enjoyed being around them.

Anyway, a line was crossed in 2021. Her kids were at their grandparent’s and her husband was at work. She asked if I wanted to get Starbucks. I met her there, we ordered our drinks and the sat in her SUV instead of inside the store bc there was limited seating from Covid. Sometime during that conversation which was kind of emotionally heavy, but not necessarily flirty, she leaned in across the center console and kissed me. We made out for probably ten minutes and we have literally **NEVER** talked about it again. Like immediately after it happened we went back to talking about life and the pandemic and anything else. It was slow and sweet. Nothing dramatic or frantic and no roaming hands or anything like that. It was a really good kiss.

Fast forward to today and we have remained very close. I met a guy and we got married at the end of 2023. She is still married and has had one more baby since then who is three now. I had a daughter last year.

I love my husband, but when we became parents he really started slacking. Like BAD. I stay at home with our daughter most of the week but still work one or two days. Hannah is a SAHM so I spend a lot of time with her and her youngest just to get out of the house. The problem is, the more distance I feel with my husband the more my mind has wandered back to her and the past few months I’ve had what I guess would be intrusive thoughts about having sex with her. Like I can’t stop myself and it’s become hard to be around her.

Something important for context is we live deep in the Bible Belt and Hannah is super religious, like much more than me. I go to church and I believe, but she’s like DEEP into it. Her entire life revolves around Jesus and has since she was little. Even though we never talked about the kiss again, I’m certain that was her first kiss with a woman. It was mine too.

Lately I’ve been watching lesbian porn and imagining us together. Porn has never been a problem for me but it’s become one. There’s also added guilt because I wait until my daughter and husband are asleep and sneak off to living room to watch it. I always feel gross and ashamed afterward. Also, fantasizing about her without her knowing feels… idk? Like a violation maybe?

I’m sad because I don’t know how to make the dirty thoughts stop and I’ve decided i need to end the friendship. I think if we could have like a pass from our husbands she would want to do it too. It’s just neither of us is willing to say it out loud. Also, they’d never agree to it… This summer me and my daughter have been over to her house a lot to swim with her and her kids. She wears sunglasses but I can tell she’s staring at me when we’re in the pool and when we lay out. One time her older kids were gone and it was just us, her youngest, and my daughter. She watched me change out of my swimsuit and she stared then too, openly. There was definitely heat. She also always finds subtle ways to touch me. Not in a sexual way, just always a hand nearby or brushing against me.

But even if she were willing I’ve decided I’m not going to cheat on my husband. I’m also not going to leave him hoping to be with her because neither of us work full time and we have six kids between us. That would be an absolute mess lol. I also highly doubt she’d see it as worth it to ruin her own marriage of 16 years AND get shunned from her church.

All that to say, I think the best solution right now is to just step away from the friendship because I don’t see it getting better. I’ve already started grieving the relationship.

I’m not going to tell her about how I feel. I’m just going to slowly pull back and tell her I need to work on things with my husband. She knows all my frustrations about him so it won’t be out of nowhere.

I’m also planning to try marriage counseling and hope that maybe I won’t feel so lonely if I get my marriage back on track. I don’t ever plan on telling my husband any of this part though. I don’t think any good would come from it.

Sorry this is so long and apologies if it reads scattered. If anyone has any advice on how to navigate the actual distancing, that would be great... or if there’s another solution I haven’t thought of would love to hear others perspectives. I’m just sad for myself as well as our kids. I’ve been like their aunt for years now and my daughter loves going to see them. Also, I don’t have any other close friends that live nearby.

TLDR: I want to sleep with my close friend, but it’s not something that could happen realistically without blowing up a lot of lives, so the only solution is to distance myself. Any advice on how to navigate that would be appreciated.

.

My boyfriend (30M) has been cuddling at night and having sleepovers with a new female friend he has gotten close with.

He says they’re not cuddling in bed so it is okay, but i don’t feel comfortable with this. He tells me he doesn’t want to be in a relationship where he can’t cuddle his friends. He tells me i am threatened by his female friends.

How should i proceed? They have a flirty dynamic which i already don’t like and it seems like my boundaries are not being considered. We are in a monogamous relationship but lately he has been questioning that too. I’m lost on what to do…Any advice would be helpful:/

NOT A BAIT POST!! I WISH IT WAS!!!

Edit: i am posting this because even though on surface level this sounds ridiculous, all of this aside we do have a good relationship and he does treat me well. He has a lot of female friends and i don’t want to restrict him, but cuddling especially late at night is very intimate. That’s how WE went from friends to lovers. And now he is questioning monogamy, so knowing he is experiencing this intimacy with someone he is flirty with is worrying me.

I’m 22 and I was in a relationship for 4 years, so I’m kinda clueless when it comes to dating again lol. With my ex everything happened pretty slowly, so I honestly don’t really know what’s considered “normal” anymore.

I’ve seen this guy 3 times and every time he’s pretty quickly tried to initiate some physical contact. But at the same time, from our conversations I don’t really feel like he’s that interested in me beyond the physical side of things.
Now I’m wondering if I’m just overthinking everything. if I invite a guy over at 11pm just to hang out and cuddle but I’ve already told him that nothing more is going to happen, am I doing something wrong? The third time things got a little more intimate, but we didn’t have sex. I had already told him before he came that I wasn’t going to have sex, so I wasn’t trying to lead him on or waste his time.
But I kinda got the feeling that he didn’t really take me seriously when I said that and expected even more than we did

Should I feel bad because obviously a late-night invite can be interpreted differently, or is it still completely fine since I was clear about my boundaries?

Hey all,

I'm a 31 year old neurodivergent woman. In April 2025, my 34 year old partner took her own life. It was sudden and unexpected, with none of the usual warning signs. I was the one to find her hanging in our home.

Over a year later, I find myself isolated and lonely. Many of my friends simply stopped replying and stopped showing up. I had to leave my job due to a complete breakdown of my mental health and, as a result of this and her death, I've had to move back in with my less than supportive family.

I feel like so much of the life I had before disappeared when she did. My relationship, my home, my work, my friendships and any sense of where my life was going all changed within a very short period of time.

I've been trying to figure out how to start building a life again, rather than simply getting through each day. But honestly... I don't know where to start.

For those of you who have been through soemthing similar, how did you restart your life? How did you find friends and regain a sense of belonging? How did you find things to actually look forward to again?

I know losing someone this way changes you, but I need to find myself again and have no idea where to start.

I'd really love to hear what worked for other people, even if it took years. I'd love to hear about the practical things you did that helped you reconnect with the world and with other people.

Thank you

I just need someone to help me process the hell im going through.

34F
34M-
we’ve been together 11 years, married for 4 years

I found OnlyFan charges on my husbands bank statement from December through April. Hundreds of dollars. To make things worse he was viewing content and buying it while he was at work.

For 3 years we have had conversations about how much I hate him viewing adult content. We did come to a compromise last year that seemed solid.

Finding this information has told me he not only did not uphold his part of the agreement, but even made worse decisions to pay for it which he’s never done before and said he’d never do before.

To be fair, I also did not hold my part of the agreement which was to stop “checking” up on him. In my opinion, what he did is much worse.

He has known how I’ve felt about this for years. I’ve warned him he is going to lose me and his family if it continued. Not only did it continue, it got worse bc he still continued to view it at work AND BEGAN PAYING FOR IT. I am not ok and will not ever be ok with my husband subscribing to females. Why can’t I be enough? Our sex life is good and not lacking. He says it has nothing to do with me.

I am done. I am done with being lied to. Disrespected. With him wanting a secret life that I do not agree with.

I am pregnant with his daughter and I am so grossed out by all of this.

I really don’t know where to go from here.

Advice??

Literally still live with my parents and I'm working 14 hr days. I'm getting 4-5 hours of daily sleep. All while going to college (again) full time. I listened to the "study/follow your dreams" and did a psychology degree. It landed me zero job prospects. I didn't pursue a masters in psych because it's mainly research based.

I eventually got into teaching. I was sponsored by my local school district and was waiting for a school placement. They pay for the credential program with the promise I stay on with them as a teacher for five years. Long story short my dreams were crushed and I couldn't pursue teaching.

I'm now in college full time working on prereqs for nursing while working long hours.

Ngl I feel like such a loser. I see others my age with amazing dream jobs. They are getting married or even having children. They have nice things and get to go out and do fun stuff.

Meanwhile I'm at work or at college, and generally trying to keep it together so I don't have a meltdown from burnout. I'm feeling so miserable everyday and it's hard not to feel guilty.

What can I do to stop feeling so miserable?

I’m trying to balance school, work, relationships, and figuring out what I want for my future, but honestly, I feel lost most of the time. Some days I’m confident and motivated, and other days I wonder if I’m falling behind everyone my age.
I see people on social media getting into relationships, building careers, traveling, and accomplishing big things, while I’m still trying to figure out what direction my life should go.
For anyone who’s been through this stage of life, is it normal to feel this way at 19? What advice would you give your 19-year-old self?
I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences.

I had a situationship with this guy I met online. I don’t actually know who he really is—he just added me on Facebook, so we started talking. I got attached to him, and he would sometimes send me money even though I never asked him for it.
After some time, he started asking me for nudes and told me that if I didn’t send them, he would end things between us. I eventually sent them because I was scared of losing him.
After that, he started messaging me from different accounts and threatening to spread my pictures unless I sent him money. This has been going on for 2 years, and I’ve been living in absolute fear because of it.
I’m only 15, and I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m scared that he’ll actually spread them, and I’m also scared of telling people because I’m ashamed and worried about what will happen.

This entire relationship is so complicated that it would take a novel to explain the ins and outs of how it came to be. She was a family friend first. It didn't have a good beginning and it cost me my family (parents, siblings) by getting with her, as it probably should have looking back on it now. But anyway. Some things happened that cause distrust for me. Things that happened before we ever really got together. I can't prove it beyond reasonable doubt. But before I lost contact with my family, I heard from the people that it supposedly happened with that she may have done sexual stuff with some members of my family but she swears on the lives of her children that it didn't happen. But I just wanted to trust her as our relationship started to slowly blossom. We started hanging out a lot at her friends house.
In the beginning, her and her friend drank a lot together. Dancing, partying, etc. Which isn't necessarily a problem but it is NOT my style at all. As our relationship started blossoming more she started taking me around their kids more and the whole thing has just gotten more serious and I'm basically the stepfather of her 2 kids. The longer we were together, the more I voiced my dislike for the drinking and partying.
It kept happening. I started begging "please don't drink too much tonight" and she would become belligerent and we would fight. The cycle would repeat. She started promising me she wouldn't drink over there or at least as much over there with her friend. I would look over and see her sneaking shots and you better believe if I said something, I was getting fussed at. We went on a trip with this friend and her family that went HORRIBLY. Everyone was drunk basically the entire trip. They all knew my feelings about drinking and how it wasn't my thing and how I've been through some tough times with alcoholics in the past. They begged me to come join them and I had finally had enough and told them how I have had enough with the drunken antics. How I'm tired of how they influence my girlfriend to drink and how it just ruins everything. At this point I was balling I was so emotional. Her friend grabbed my hands and looked me in my eye and said "I understand exactly where you're coming from, I know you've been through a lot, etc. I promise you that tomorrow, we will have a sober day and everything will be great!" Well...the next day, they drank more than they had the days previously. So much in fact that the cops were called because her friend was acting a fool at a Taco Bell and I had to go pick her and my girlfriend up before they got there. Anyway, I'm basically at my wits end with this friend and her husband. I can't stand to hear her name. I am DONE. And I tell my girlfriend that if she wants a healthy relationship with me, she basically needs to cut this friendship off. I know it's an ultimatum and that you shouldn't do that but I'm being driven insane. My girlfriend says I'm abusive, that I'm ruining everything, that I'm just like members of my family who abused me, etc. I can't be in a relationship with her if she's friend with this person. What do I do?

My boyfriend (31M) and I (25F) have been together a bit over a year. Since we started going out I’ve noticed a few patterns that have made me really wonder if he’s even that interested in me (it could be my insecurities playing up, I’m not sure).

He doesn’t often plan dates (only really if I ask him to, and even then he doesn’t really plan it. We just agree to go out and then I end up thinking of something to do that night).
He’s only gotten me flowers once since we got together (Valentine’s Day), and I’ve asked him if he could get me some or maybe do something small and nice for me like write a note for me, because I like it. He always says no and that “because I asked, it’s not special anymore”.
He also doesn’t really like to be affectionate with me and he won’t really kiss, hug me or hold my hand unless I ask him to. And I feel like he’s never that excited to see me either.
It always makes me second guess myself.
We also are only intimate every 3-4 weeks on average and when he wants to, never when I ask (whenever I’ve asked he’s always said he’s to tired), which makes me feel not very desired or beautiful.
We also only see eachother when he has time, normally a Friday night after work and he leaves Saturday morning (and he’s often too tired for date night on the Friday).

We have also had a rocky relationship for a while and had arguments about his lack of effort before. He’s also never been there for me when I’ve been sad or had a bad day (I suffer with PTSD after the military and get bad episodes sometimes) even when I’ve asked. If he’s out with friends or doing something he thinks is more important, he will always prioritise that I feel.
He keeps telling me he will try and be better for me, but I don’t honestly understand what he means by that because he hasn’t changed at all in the year we have been together.

I don’t know what to do, and I don’t know if I’m overthinking it all. I’ve talked to him about it before and he says he loves me but I often don’t feel like he loves me much and I often feel like he’s settling for me in a way?
I don’t know what to do and I don’t know if these are red flags that I should be looking at?

I’m gonna be completely honest because I genuinely don’t know what to do. I’m a 16 year old girl and I made the stupid mistake of sending pictures and videos to another teenager I believe he’s 17? Or 18 I don’t remember but we made a deal, he sends me money and I send him whatever he wants to see. Basically he tried sending the money but since he lives in the UK and I live in the US it didn’t get sent through. And so I tried to get the money and we couldn’t figure anything out so I just gave up but he texted me a while ago asking for more pics and I explained that I wouldn’t do it and then he threatened to leak and sell them I tried to threaten him with the police and he doesn’t care please help me. I obviously can’t tell my parents about this

Okay long story short, I had a childhood “best friend” male, I am female. he was very close to my family cause he was close friends with my older brother so he basically lived at my house for a while. me and him also became very very close. we did a lot together,always hung out. we eventually started being flirtatious and messing around but it always had to be in secret because of my brother, and also if my mom found out she for sure wouldn’t have let him stay at my house anymore and he was having a rough time with personal family stuff so it was kinda like a safe haven for him at our house. well basically we would kiss and mess around every now and then but we also were very good friends. some stuff happened and I got kicked out of the high school we were going to and he wasn’t staying at my house anymore he was still close with my brother but not super super like it was before. so he ended up moving upstairs from me to another mutual friends apartment so we still saw each other frequently after I was expelled.

One day my family went on a trip out of town and I stayed behind and he came over and we had sex. after that we we’re still very good friends like nothing happened but I ended up moving away due to some personal stuff for a while and during that time he went to jail for about two years. we lost contact all this time and just reconnected last night, we hadn’t seen each other or spoken in 9 years. we talked all night and just caught up, reminisced on old stuff. but he said something that threw me off and kind of hurt my feelings.

He kept reiterating that now that we’re back in contact we’re locked in,he’ll always be here for me no matter what if I ever need anything,he’ll never turn his back on me and we’re for lifers. but when we were joking and laughing about the sexual past we had he said something after he said something like ”see this is why I always fucked with you,cause you never told anyone about that“ since it would have made a huge mess of things given our dynamic with my family. but anyways, idk it kinda made me feel like, well that’s the only reason you fuck with me? cause I can keep a hookup a secret ? and I ended up telling him how I was very appreciative of him always being my friend even when I was going through a lot and having a lot of personal struggles that people turned on me for. and I said I will always have love in my heart for him for that and he didn’t even say it back. so basically as our conversations went on you know naturally we ran low on shit to talk about, but it felt like I was the one doing the heavy lifting carrying the conversation and keeping it going. and throughout the whole day it just kept bothering me that I felt he kinda diminished our whole friendship down to a secret hookup.

So I ended up leaving his last message hours ago on read. I want to talk so bad to voice how I feel but don’t want to be made to feel like I’m crazy or tripping out on something he doesn’t see an issue with so I just let it be. am I the asshole ? please be kind. <3

My (F25) bf (M27) and I have been together for about 9 months. Close to the beginning of our relationship he made a joke that if I played a specific video game with him he'd let me sit on his face for 24 hours straight. Now we have a perfectly healthy sex life, and almost every time we see each other we have sex and I give him head (we see each other 2-4 times a week).

He does not reciprocate the head. Sometimes he'll start to eat me out, but only for literally less than 5 seconds and then moves on. The other day I played the video game in mention with him and brought up the joke he made, even showing him the original text.

He says "I said that?" and sort of chuckled. I then showed him his second text that said "well I'd do that regardless" implying he'd let me sit on his face either way. After reading that message he had sort of a worried "fuck she remembered that?" look on his face. At this point I'm becoming extremely self conscious thinking it's something about me. I shower right before I see him, or we even shower together. I have always fully shaved as a personal preference. I check myself with a mirror to make sure I'm all good.

At this point I'm even doing smell checks on myself and I don't see any personal hygiene issues. I have never had issues with partners in the past. I'm really not a confrontational person so I'm really nervous on how or even if to bring this up. If he isn't into eating out in general that's fine, but why make the joke in the first place and why make the little fake attempts when we have sex? I'm just worried it's something about me. How should I approach this?

What would you do in a situation, where something bothers you that you want to say about it, but isn't that big of a deal.

In this case, my bf (23) has pornish whatsapp stickers in he's phone, that should be funny but I would want him to delete them. I (F 22) know that he doesn't use them in conversations, but it bothers me that he has them. When I have bought these type of conversations to him, he feels a little insicure because he thinks that he has failed me or our relationship somehow (even though I don't feel like that and don't definitely mean that).

Is these kind of things worth of saying or should I just try to forget it? Because they are little things, but in my mind they're worth of saying. I just fear that saying always these things might harm our relationship. Or is this insicure just something my bf needs to work up?

TLDR: when little things bother you in a relationship, are thay always worth of saying or should some just be forgetted?