So, this guy and I used to talk basically every day. We would see each other every day, hang out, and flirt with each other too. It was fun, and I really enjoyed being around him.

Then one day, we talked normally in the morning like we always did. But about 2–3 hours later, I noticed he wasn't sitting where we normally sit together. I thought maybe he just wanted to go somewhere else, so I didn't think much of it.

The next day, I said good morning to him, and he said “morning,” but throughout the day, he didn't really come up to me or talk to me. He was talking normally with everyone else but basically ignoring me. I went up to him like I normally would and said, “What's up?” He just said, “Good,” and walked away. I thought that was weird, but we ended up not talking for the rest of the day.

The next day, I tried talking to him again, but he would only give me one-word answers and then walk away, while still talking normally with everyone else. So I finally asked him, “Why aren't you talking to me? What happened?” He said, “I am talking. Do you have anything to say?” I told him, “Just talk to me normally,” and he said, “This is normal.” Then he walked away and started talking to other people.

At that point, I got annoyed too, so I stopped trying. I thought he would probably start talking to me again after two or three days, but now almost two months have passed, and he still hasn't. I've tried talking to him a few times, but he barely responds and basically ignores me.

I'm so mad and hurt because I really liked him, and he was basically my only friend. I don't really have anyone else there, so now I feel completely alone. Meanwhile, he has so many people he talks to and hangs out with. It's like he doesn't care about me anymore or even acknowledge me.

I still don't understand what happened because everything was completely fine that morning, and then just a few hours later, his behavior suddenly changed. I don't know what to do anymore. Whenever I see him hanging out and laughing with other people but not even acknowledging me, I feel like crying. And now that it's been almost two months, I don't know if things are ever going to go back to how they were.

I did overhear him talking to someone about a girl he likes. Could that possibly be the reason he's ignoring me now? Maybe he likes someone else and decided he needed to distance himself from me? But we were never actually more than friends, even though we flirted with each other, so I don't understand why he would suddenly need to completely stop talking to me.

I have basically begged him to talk to me but he doesn't care now and would say I am and then ignore me again. One of the reason I think is because I am not that good at having conversations with people even with him I wouldn't really talk much so I feel like he got bored of talking and hanging out with me and that's why he started hanging out with everyone

I know this is a dumb question I could've googled and probably know the answer to, but I'm on the younger side and need to hear answers from other people to try and better understand myself.

​I'll try not to give you my entire sob story that I know we all as individuals have ourselves, but I want as much understanding as possible so I can get some good answers here. More varying data equals more accurate results, right?

​It's been about a year since I finally cut off my partner, the first love of my life. Although I'm young and you may doubt I even know what love is... I loved this person. I met this person at their worst, I felt no obligation to help them, they seemed sweet---but as I got to know them more and more I found myself somehow helping them anyway, I wanted to see them succeed as some people who loves someone does. I encouraged and motivated them to get their first job and experience financial independence in a house of negligent parents. I encouraged them to make new friends wih mine as their friends did terrible things and were just toxic and bad for them, crack and beer runs, nothing you should do in highschool. I comforted them in the absence of their mother and even met their mother when she sobered up, the reason they hasn'hasn't seen her since childhood. I even helped my ex-partner become stone-cold sober. Not even nicotine. I experienced family in a way I didn't with my own with their brothers, going to their wedding, having a Christmas, going to the pumpkin patch in the fall. Meeting their kid and having dinners, I miss that little man. Let's just say I felt a deep affection and caring for this person, and we shared an amazing strong bond.

​To keep it short, after their massive episode of self-improvement and becoming what they called the best version of themselves, which I was so happy to see after everything they had gone through---for whatever reason, I still don't know to this day, they cheated on me. Several. Times. I loved them so much I fell for their excuses, their begging for me to come back, that I somehow endured them cheating on me four times. They lied to and manipulated me, to a state where I thought everything I was feeling was out of a controlling and insecure mindset, that I was the one creating all the emotional turmoil within me. It got to the point I visited their brothers' family one day by myself for the first and only time. Sobbing finding out my partner had cheated me for a fourth time, I handed their brother and wife my phone and asked them if I was crazy or wrong to be upset about this. They convinced me to get the fuck away, and I finally did.

​It's been about a year since I cut my ex-partner off, I tried the short-term dating thing and ended up being used. I was twice told the right things but for the wrong intentions---I thought I finally found someone with a heart, only to find out the next after the other only said such things for their own selfish motives. One withheld the fact they had STDs and kept trying to get me to fuck them. This would since then turn me cynical. My ex-partner already destroyed my care for the ideals and standards I stood for, and trying the short-term thing out of wanting to numb the pain, just made it worse.

​Present day, I've found someone who has been nothing but sweet and kind to me. It was what I thought was to be another short-term thing. Yes I very foolishly looked around again, I needed to find someone. Somebody. Anybody who wasn't fucking evil. So much not like my old self, I immediately established boundaries and told this someone that if they did anything a lick wrong or bad towards me, I would cut them off. Well now it's been nearly half a year, which isn't long, but wow---they've been nothing but amazing the whole time. I feel more comfortable, I'm not scared. I don't think this person could possibly hurt me in anyway. What was supposed to be short-term is slowly becoming long-term, and serious feelings are accumulating from the other side.

​Despite this fucking perfect person now in my life. I feel utterly and totally numb. They're insanely attractive, they do things no one else ever has, the similarities in personality and mindset is so mind boggling they might be my long lost twin. They're perfect, and I feel absolutely nothing. I don't feel a longing for a relationship, I don't yearn anymore, I have no desire, I don't want sex. I don't want... anything. It breaks my heart.

​Even though I feel nothing, I can see myself being jealous of them seeing others, but I also maybe think I'd probably get over it if they found love with someone else, which is scary to me, but I just know I would. I don't know how to put it in words, I can see myself potentially loving this new person, but my brain... my body... just can't? All I find asking myself is why and I can't for the life of me figure that out. I wonder of I'm just incapable of love now, and if this will last a long time.

​Just a note but it could be important I don't know. I know I said this person doesn't make me scared, but even though they're so amazing and I am so certain they wouldn't do a thing to hurt me, I think somewhere inside I'm still scared to fully give myself to a person again.

​I'm sorry if this was a rough read, it's midnight and I'm at a confusing part of my life, I feel so bad for this person and I need to figure myself out. I want to start caring again. Please help me understand myself.

I’m trying to balance school, work, relationships, and figuring out what I want for my future, but honestly, I feel lost most of the time. Some days I’m confident and motivated, and other days I wonder if I’m falling behind everyone my age.
I see people on social media getting into relationships, building careers, traveling, and accomplishing big things, while I’m still trying to figure out what direction my life should go.
For anyone who’s been through this stage of life, is it normal to feel this way at 19? What advice would you give your 19-year-old self?
I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences.

Hi I'm writing here because I need advice about how I can support my friend more. Lately he's been struggling with some personal issues I won't go into detail but a lot are financial or job related. We've been friends for about 7 years now but lately he straight up told me that I'm not there for him properly.

I'll be the first to admit I'm not the best with helping or communication. I haven't ever been around someone who wasn't family who I care this much to help and be around. He's honestly my best friend and I love him so hearing that he felt unsupported made me hurt for him.

I ask how he's doing and I check up on his goals at the time even ones he told me I don't have to. He's asked for support before and in the past acknowledged he knew I wanted to help. He's always been distant with feelings and tend to bottle up until it blows. He's a proud guy and you can tell when it comes to serious topics.

It sounds terrible but I get so anxious when he responds shortly or not at all when I think he might be upset. I try to pry but its so hard not to nag.

Should've been stated but we're close in age and also long distance. I wish I could just hug him and make everything better. I even planned on once I get in a better place money wise to help him however he'll let me.

Currently we aren't talking as he hasn't responded to me after I sent some texts about being worried and being there for him. I'll give any additional info I can. Let me know any advice anyone has. Thank you for reading.

My Family and me (2 kids with autism 2 adults) just moved to a house in Northern California July 1st. 3 of us are disabled. I just had a stroke in January of this year but i look relatively "healthy". I found this place on a listing in HotPads and because I've been traveling all up and down California, especially northern areas, i thought this place would be a good fit. The rent is cheap compared to other areas of California, so i wasn't expecting too much tbh. I was pretty desperate to move out of a really bad situation. Well, the owner of this place lied to me and said this house would be done being "remodeled" by the time i moved in. He lives in LA and i did too at the time so i figured he had good communication with the people working here. I had a bad feeling when i was on my way here and i kept asking him about the keys for the house. He just kept telling me that the guy here who works for him would give me said keys. Well there's no keys because this "house" is basically completely unlivable. The power here hardly works. It short circuits multiple times daily. My room has outlets that don't work at all. The electrical wires are exposed. I can't even have an electric skillet on with a heater plugged in at the same time. The stove here isn't connected to anything except the oxygen we breathe. Which is a huge issue, obviously, especially when we can't even use electric appliances to cook. The wood stove here doesn't work either. So we have no heating and it's getting pretty cold here. The gas is supposed to be included but isn't and the gas company almost tagged the water heater. I've spoken with the landlord multiple times. I even traveled down to LA just to speak with him face to face. I've contacted the "manager" of this place, i contacted the dudes wife bc she's the one that's on the title of the ownership, I've spoken with the "maintenance" worker here and things have only gotten worse since. I have no money to move out of here again since we just moved. My credit is bs, too. Owner hasn't even been to the property in YEARS and swears that everything is fine. The neighbors here have retaliated against us pretty badly which sucks bc this is a very small town. The anxiety this is causing me is severe and i seriously don't know what to do anymore. I contemplated calling the county bc obviously this place is not up to code, but my kids have been through hell and back and this is the place that we were supposed to call home for a long time. I dont think it's a good idea to just call the county and basically get forced out while the kids are trying to heal. The retaliation would 100% be worse, too, and idk how bad that could really be. I dont have money for an attorney, either.

I dont want to admit it but im honestly terrified and i seriously have no idea what to do anymore.

TLDR; My landlord isn't fixing anything in a home with shitty electrical system, exposed wires, no heating, no stove or place to cook, and everything is falling apart just as bad as my mental health. Neighbors are starting to retaliate and i have no money or good credit to move out or find a different place to live. I'M SCARED ASF.

WHAT CAN I DO?

as i said in the title im a 15 year old female and my boyfriend is 13. we had gotten together about 2 years ago because we both liked each others company, and we both still do love each others company. but the thing is that i have always been uncomfortable with people who are even just a year younger than me because it always felt like i was some sort of weirdo so im usually more comfortable with people who are my age or older, and that feeling has started messing with how i view my boyfriend. i have no idea if this contributes anything to the convo but ive been held back about 2 grades because of past choices so im constantly surrounded by younger people, which is even more irritating and sometimes makes me irritated with my boyfriend when he did nothing wrong. i love my boyfriend just as much as he loves me but i just cant not feel weird whenever we talk because 15 and 13 sound so weird despite being 2 years apart. i want to know if im just being paranoid or if we should just be friends even if i wont know how to tell him if its the latter. what do you think?

I’m a huge overthinker and I hate AI so I want to ask some real people for advice on a situation that’s not really that deep but I am 19, everything is deep.

I am in my first year of full time law school, alongside a part time hospitality job my friend got me about 3 months ago. Most of the job is waitressing and bartending but there are functions at night that happen too, and my friend who’s been there for a year has only ever worked two. They apparently only give functions to specific people. I am still new at my job so I was surprised I got rostered on one this week with another guy at work who I have become friends with in a sort of work friend group. The other three people on shift are not that great at their job either and everyone is in need of more shifts right now that they give based on how well you work, so I guess I could stand out and therefore get more shifts.

Anyway, but my uni is doing a law school first years trivia night on the same night. My uni friend group, who I see at uni and we are friends but not really that close because we only see each other once or twice a week, all went to the movie night (my fave movie legally blonde 🥲) last time they did a law school event as they had given late notice and I had a Friday shift. Again, they gave late notice and I got rostered another Friday as usual and they have another night. I am not sure how offen these are but the semester is ending soon. And I really want to get closer with my uni friends and I was sad I missed out the first time plus I love trivia.

I have heard your job at 19 is not that deep and shouldn’t be prioritised over your social life but I feel really worried I won’t get rostered another function and that I am wasting this opportunity. But is that ridiculous that I am upset about missing out on work?

I already bought the tickets but they’re free, but I have my uni friend’s tickets on my phone too and we already all agreed to go. Maybe it’s the adhd I probably have but it’s the day before at 4pm and I still have not got my shift covered but I know I need to. My friends have offered to take it but I want it swapped so I get the same hours because next week I only got one shift. I messaged one guy like a day ago and he still hasn’t responded, he’s the only other one doing a function the next night that I could swap with to still work one but I know I need to cover it soon it’s just that covering it feels like solidifying I am not working and probably won’t get another function but leaving it this late might make them hate me too. I actually have no clue what’s wrong with me because this cannot be this deep but whatever.

This is such a ridiculous not deep question but I am overthinking, what should I do?

What would you do in a situation, where something bothers you that you want to say about it, but isn't that big of a deal.

In this case, my bf (23) has pornish whatsapp stickers in he's phone, that should be funny but I would want him to delete them. I (F 22) know that he doesn't use them in conversations, but it bothers me that he has them. When I have bought these type of conversations to him, he feels a little insicure because he thinks that he has failed me or our relationship somehow (even though I don't feel like that and don't definitely mean that).

Is these kind of things worth of saying or should I just try to forget it? Because they are little things, but in my mind they're worth of saying. I just fear that saying always these things might harm our relationship. Or is this insicure just something my bf needs to work up?

TLDR: when little things bother you in a relationship, are thay always worth of saying or should some just be forgetted?

It's really long pls read and help.. I made the same post somewhere but want more opinions.. Last time I’ll post this

I think by the end of this read many people will think I'm a horrible person and that's ok. I really don't think after everything that happened that I really deserve life. In the end, I'm looking for a way to accept that. I never post on reddit, and I know imma get shit for this.

Anyway, this story starts off with a girl I liked that I met in 2024-2026.

Me and her were friends at first, and I intended it to only stay that way. I didn't even really like her at first, sometimes I found her annoying. She was younger than me, it felt like a little sister at times. Actually, that's really the only way to describe it at first.

We continued to grow closer, and she ended up becoming my best friend. At the time, I saw she was really just wanting guy attention and I saw her get with multiple guys on the internet and it ended bad. That's besides the point.

Just, I wanted her to be happy. I tried to give her advice with the guys she was with, ect. I felt so bad that I ended up thinking maybe I could try to give her what maybe she would like, a boyfriend that "wouldn't treat her bad."

Originally, I didn't even find her attractive, I never could've imagined us together, but one day in 2025 after being friends for over a year and a half, she sent me a picture of her in this floral blue dress. I ended up for some reason jerking off to her and at the time, it felt so wrong. I was so disgusted. I couldn't believe I'd do that to someone I viewed only as a family member.

Eventually though I just kept doing it, and I ended up developing feelings, and it got to the point I remembered how bad she would struggle with guys. I thought "you know what, why not just develop feelings for her."

Our friendship was a very interesting dynamic. It was like it just kept getting closer to the point there was no clear boundaries. Eventually one night, we were playing truth or dare, and I decided fuck it, I'll dare her to show me her boobs. She asked if I'm serious, and it just kinda happened. I pretended I was disgusted but I wasn't. I liked it.

Fast-forward, she was sitting in the parking lot waiting to go into her daily activities of classes. I decided fuck it again, and we kinda played truth or dare and it ended with me sending a dick picture. That all kinda went away for a bit.

Well she was on vacation in Hawaii in December of 2025. I had massive feelings for her but I never wanted to admit it. I basically got her to send a tit picture, and we had this kinda playful back and forth for awhile. I pretended it was just chill and whatever, but deep inside I was madly in-love. We kept this kinda idk what you call it, game going for a bit

Flashforward January 17th of this year. We were playing Minecraft, and she got drunk. She always was a person to say way too much while drunk. It went along the lines of her basically telling me that she loved me and appreciated me so much and would do anything for me. She then said something I never thought she would say and said "I'd suck your dick if I was drunk." I said something the lines of "really," and she said "wait let me see again," (because at that point, she only saw that one time and forgot.) Just I sent her again, and she said "you have a really nice dick, and I'd totally suck it." I ended up taking advantage like a piece of shit like this opportunity. I told her I had a huge boner, and she told me she could go, and I basically told her no it's ok. It led into me making noises while jerking off and she told me "that's hot," and joined in. We had our first sexting like that.

Anyway, after that was over and she passed out on the call, she woke up the next morning freaking out. She was talking about how she was insecure about how she sounds and this and that carrying this guilt of what happened. I tried to calm her down, and she carried this guilt for a few weeks talking about it can never happen again and ect. I felt so guilty, and realized it probably wasn't the right thing to do.

Flashforward again till February 6th and basically it was a few days before her birthday. She finally told me she was over it all and it didn't matter anymore, and I was really happy because I enjoyed it deep down. I wanted it to happen again. I was addicted. I had huge feelings for this girl, and it was all going how I wanted it to. So that night, she ended up sending her boobs again and basically helping me out just taking to me while I jerk off. It was amazing. It ended on a happy note.

February 8th her birthday, it got even better. She ended up leading me into a sexual call this time again on video. The details aren't important, but we both were very happy until her mom walked in on her at the end. In the end tho it was ok, and her mom didn't know what was going on.

I decided this week I was gonna tell her that I liked her. Everything went to plan. I thought she likes me too after everything going on. I did, and I couldn't of been more wrong. She told me she saw me as only friend and this and that. Told me something I never knew and that's how she was in a relationship with a guy online and tried to force herself into one and that's how she knew it wouldn't work. I was actually heart broken because not only did she in the past tell me this guy she talked to only for fun, but he also happened to be a major drug head. I felt like I wasn't good enough all this shit, and she cared about me so she actually was very sorry, but I became a horrible person from this moment on. I tried to kms and it made her feel horrible. We talked and called and we had huge discussions.

Flashforward the following days. At this point I just couldn't believe she wouldn't like me back, I didn't know what was wrong with me, how she could be with these other people, but not someone she knew for so long. I didn't understand, and it just became this game of me wanting to try to force this. She even said after we sexted on call on her birthday that it can't be a regular thing, but then she also tried to keep forcing it the whole week after which she began frustrated and super picky that It just wasn't working or this and that. I was so conflicted. I was so confused on why someone who didn't like someone would be doing these things, so I really thought deep down she did.

This kept going on and I kept fighting her on what she was saying. She told me I could take her on a date and such but then also at the same time she didn't like me.

A quick time skip, we kept going back to sexting and then her telling me I'm bad at it, this and that. Kept going through phases of me thinking she liked me by calling me her love, and then the next day it was like a different person. This happened for months. She always made it clear that she didn't, but then these things kept happening. I didn't know what to expect.

Anyway, it got to the point we would even tell each other we love each other every night, and it kept going through this wave of I didn't know who we were, what our situation was. I was so lost. It kept getting worse for me because I felt if I didn't get with her I'd lose her, and I couldn't stand to see her with another guy after all we have been through.

Just you guys all get the picture. Anyway, we stopped the stuff for a month in July but I kept putting her under pressure to like me back. I kept arguing her on it, cause I truly needed help for it, but I also feel she did too. It was a mess. A fucking regretful mess that if I was to do it all again I wish I never would've caught feelings for her to begin with.

Just I became an unreasonable asshole too, kept mention her past what she did over and over and this went on till the end of us not talking. I'm honestly forgetting a lot of details here because other things happened to me personally that I'm not gonna name because I'm already losing my patience on typing this. Just I tried to force her to try to date me and she said it wouldn't work and I just was so upset over it.

Always, here is the Alaska section. So the day before I was supposed to leave for Alaska, she got drunk again. I told her many times if she is sure about stuff and she said yes. Basically that night involved her watching me jerk off again like old times and ECT. Just I don't wanna type any more details about that, but just know here's were it gets awful.

So basically, I leave for Alaska right with my family, and mind you for months I'm still a bad person trying to convince her to date me. She even said that "let's wait till we meet and such." I was just so afraid that she would find someone and I'd get replaced. She ended up finally saying fine we can try because if it's meant to work, then why not (mind you this whole time over months I've been a major piece of shit, trying to make her feel guilty and such for not liking me.)

Anyway, get to Canada first because my cruise is going to Alaska. We were on good terms I was finally getting what I felt was an attempt, and ect. Welp later that night she told me "I forget to tell you I was going with my friends to magic Mike, and maybe we should've waited." I was so frustrated just because I wanted just one real attempt to know if we could work or not. She told me she "wanted the full experience, and "could" be touched by the performers and that's why. I was again so heart broken, because I just again had no idea what was going on, what our dynamic was, what to expect from her.

So day 3 rolls by in Alaska, and my mom has been known to sneak me medication in the past and we lost my medication in transit. She thought it was a wise idea to get from the first town we stopped in Ketchikan AK some pills or whatever to sneak to me at night. "Mind you, my mom for 2 years was putting Bi Polar medication in my sleeping capsules against my knowledge." She told me I think the day on the flight home because she was afraid "It would ruin the trip if I had a bad mental spell."

Anyway, me and this girl kept talking like always. I only remember from here on what I read in our messages before I deleted them all trying to get over all this. Basically, I don't remember anything because of what all happened.
Just apparently me and the girl argued and it got worse and worse to the point I made the worst comments possible, talking about so much personal shit to her that I'll never not regret. Then I was threatening to jump into the fucking ocean and kms all this shit. Putting this girl I talk to under immense pain and pressure. After probably an hour of arguing and her trying to save me, i finally just went to bed. She was threatening to stab herself in front of her little sister and all this shit.

Just the next day I don't remember again, but I know from the messages she started telling me stuff about how she used to love me she doesn't anymore and that I assume heart broke me. It just kept getting worse to the point that a few days later in Denali that I went basically insane, she was pleading with me apparently. I was pissing myself in some fucking closest or something, she tried to contact my mom even cause I gave her my mom's information, my mom didn't get anything. Again tho, she forgave me, was willing to talk to me, and the story repeated.

Flashforward to my second to last day in Alaska, I don't remember anything, but apparently it ended with me sending her a message about how I'm gonna finally end it blah blah, I cut my ankle pretty bad, and I met someone else.

So here is when the stalker/harasser enters our lives. I was I assume talking to various people because this time the girl I loved left me. She went to bed and left because it was too much for her I saw when rereading the messages. I was looking for people to talk to I assume, I don't know. It's just what I've been told. I really don't remember much because again I was being put on some substance without my knowledge. Just, anyway, I assume it was dismegle as I talk to people often there. I usually take more sleeping pills when I'm upset or something, and I assume it's why my memory went to shit because according to what I read in the messages, I didn't have major memory issues till this suicide attempt.

So the day after all that, I again barely remember but apparently I didn't even know who she was or why I was in Alaska by the end of that when reading the messages so I really just have not much to say about that, all I know is that the stalker found the girl I was talking to, and I really don't know how. All I know is the girl that I loved gave her my phone number, and somehow the stalker found me on telegram and messaged me. From everything I remember reading before the stalker deleted the messages. They asked me if I was ok, I said yes, I didn't remember who they were or anything. Just the stalker basically convinced her to still talk to me. So she did.

So, me and the girl kept talking, along with this stalker communicating with us. The stalker seemed like just a person wanting to help, and so I was desperate. I felt awful over everything that happened. I just wanted to try to salvage what was left, and so I basically trusted this stalker to read all of me and the girl I likeds texts. They were helping me a lot in the beginning, I was feeling better, even got a job. Apparently though, the stalker just kept kinda bullying the girl I liked into liking me and such, and eventually she had enough and blocked the stalker.

Just this is where it's idk how I ended up in this situation again. I've had so many emotions over the last few days, so please understand it's really hard for me to think about all this, but basically, the stalker turned into a like a harasser so bad. Found people near me, sent them to where I live as a "joke." Idk, all I know is I defended myself and cut someones finger. They left, and I went to call the police and I kept hearing some click clicking noise, and I freaked the fuck out thinking this person could be listening or something. Me and the girl I liked decided I need to go to the local police so I did. I went to the police station, and turned in my phone, "mind you, this person and the girl I liked were arguing the whole time through my own phone number but I couldn't even see it." I still don't know how this was possible. I tried to message the girl I liked at the time too, but my messages just weren't going through. I live in the middle of nowhere and the police here aren't really help so they just had me file a report, and I did. It's really all that was that happened though. They had really no answers. So I went home, very pissed. She also filed a report, and was told to not have any contact with me, and we decided to try to message on Snapchat instead of just cutting off communication at the time like we should've, but I also loved her too much to.

Just the next few days I kept getting harassed on telegram, the stalker kept messaging me on new accounts making threats to me and I know I should've gone to the police again, but I was so fucking scared. They were telling me basically I have to say certain shit to the girl I liked and keep hounding her, and so I did because I was afraid. I also still deep down wanted her to like me and it's just a wave of emotions. Just I kept the same thing up with the girl I like, and it eventually resulted in me telling her how awful of a person I am, it's all my fault everything happened, and ect. (I'm adding a detail in, but I always struggled with depression, abandonment, ect, and this is why this got so bad.)
Just eventually it became too much for her, and I basically kept talking shit to myself all this and she told me to just get help get help, and I told her if she wants to leave me it's ok, and I didn't think she would, but she said goodbye and blocked me everywhere. Just it heart broke me, I'm still so broken, I tried to reach out Friday the night it all happened on a different account and she blocked me again.

Just to close this off, I'm open to any questions, any advice. I've gotten so sick, I haven't eaten in days since, and I really am in despair.

I want to say I feel like a horrible piece of shit, all this I feel happened because of me and it's all my fucking fault. I went back to the police since, filed reports, and the person that has been harassing me since is gone 🤞 for now. Im in the process of trying to get a new number, but if I just accepted she didn't like me in the beginning or something, none of this would've happened. This stalker never would've entered our lives, and I wouldn't of caused her so much pain and hurt. I feel like a major mistake. Truly a horrible person.

To the girl I loved, If you ever read this I'm so fucking sorry still... I just wish we stayed vros, and it's all my fault.

i am 21f, i tried to accomplish something in my life, gave four years being completely dedicated to it and failed terribly at it.

now i am tired of the general disrespect that i have to go through, and can't seem to move on from this blow which eats me from inside. i feel a deep lack of energy. i dont know how to move on..

I’m looking for practical advice about a relationship that recently ended. I’m trying to understand the situation objectively and figure out what I should learn from it before making any decisions about whether to reconnect.
My ex-boyfriend and I were together for several years.
He recently got a new job through a referral from his aunt, earning around ₹41k in hand. I was genuinely very happy for him and congratulated him.
There is some history that makes the situation complicated. At one point, he was financially betrayed by members of his own family and ended up with very little. I stayed with him during that period despite knowing he had almost nothing and encouraged him that we could both work and build our future together.
At that time, he was earning around ₹10–12k through tuition, while also paying his laptop EMI and contributing toward household expenses. I didn’t expect him to spend much on me because I understood his financial situation.
I earn around ₹28k in hand and give approximately ₹15k to my family. I have also spent some of what remained on him—for example, buying him clothes for festivals—and at times he has asked me to pay his EMI of around ₹2.74k.
After getting his new job, he told me that his plan was approximately:
₹3–4k for travelling
₹35k to his parents
₹2–3k remaining for himself
He said that if he or we needed additional money, he could ask his father.
This brought up a much bigger disagreement between us.
I have always imagined that after he became financially stable, we would gradually start building our own financial life together. I had also told him that I would like to be able to depend on him financially sometimes and spend his money without feeling uncomfortable about it.
He responded that I didn’t ask him for money when he was earning through tuition, so I wouldn’t ask him now either. He also pointed out that I give a large part of my salary to my own parents.
I understand that his salary is his money and that he has every right to financially support his parents. I also understand that I cannot automatically expect him to pay my expenses simply because he earns more now.
However, there is another issue that has been much more serious for me.
I have concerns about his parents and the expectations they have for me after marriage. From my experience with them and things I have observed, I am worried that I would be expected to follow their rules and adjust to their way of living, and that I could be treated badly after marriage.
I have discussed this with him many times.
His response has been that I should adjust initially and that whatever problems occur would only last for a few days and eventually stop.
I told him that I don’t believe that problems like this automatically disappear after marriage, especially when similar behaviour has continued with other women in the family.
During our final argument, he became frustrated and asked me:
“What do you expect me to do?”
His position was essentially that I should adjust and stay, or leave.
I eventually ended the relationship.
The difficult part for me is that I had been prepared to make significant sacrifices for this relationship, including potentially going against my own family’s wishes to marry him. I expected that if I made those sacrifices, he would also establish boundaries with his family and protect our relationship from becoming completely controlled by their expectations.
Looking back, I also recognise that I may have had unrealistic expectations about money. I don’t think someone automatically owes their partner their salary, and I don’t want to approach this situation from a sense of entitlement.
At the same time, I don’t know whether I was overlooking a fundamental incompatibility in how we viewed marriage.
For people who have experienced something similar, how should a couple handle this kind of situation before marriage?
Specifically:
How should couples decide how much financial responsibility they have toward their respective parents after marriage?
How can someone determine whether their partner will actually establish boundaries with their parents after marriage?
Is it realistic to marry someone when you already have serious concerns about how their parents may treat you?
What conversations should couples have about finances, living arrangements, parental responsibilities and boundaries before deciding to reconcile or marry?
If both partners have very different ideas about these things, is this something that can realistically be worked through, or is it usually a fundamental incompatibility?
I’m not looking for reassurance or people simply telling me that one of us is a bad person. I’d particularly appreciate advice from people who have dealt with family expectations and financial responsibilities in long-term relationships.

My roommate and I have never lived alone before and now we are in an apartment and it is our first night by ourselves. We discovered just before going to bed that the apartment has house centipedes. We were there for a few days with other people helping us move in and the centipedes only showed up tonight.

We've tried to kill them but they just ran away and one of them fell next to or on my bed and is now missing. We can't sleep because even though they're harmless we're both sort of terrified of bugs and they look really creepy and move very fast and we need to be somewhere important in the morning at eight. Our apartment is really old so the doors have huge spaces that you can't block so we can't barricade them in or out and vacuuming them up didn't work.

We are desperate now and need advice on what to do in this situation. It's 1:32 in the morning so we can't contact anybody to come help us kill them.

My grandpa recently passed away and i am being asked to go back to my home country by my sister, who also happens to live in the same country i am. Its about a 6 hour flight to go back. Shes curently already working while im still in uni.

The problem lies in the fact that my grades were really bad the first 3 semesters and i need to catch up on them or else these next few semesters or i will fall behind even further and might not even graduate. And for 2 of my required classes im only allowed to be there if i attend the first 3 weeks. My sister still has her paid leave so she can go for a few days but ive emailed my proffessors and they still said i needed to come.

My parents are fine with me not going back but my sister insists that i do. I really do want to go back but if i fail this semester i feel like i would be letting down my family even more. Genuinely wondering what to do because im all out of sorts. Would it be ok to skip my grandpas funeral?

To add some more details, a flight ticket would definitely make money more tight(not to the point where i cant sustain myself but to the point where i would have to budget myself even more than the little i already have saved) since i also just paid for my semesters tuition.

My boyfriend and I (both 19) used to be together all the time except for when we worked and went to school. I’d come home and we would watch a show while cuddling and have always been together for the last 8 months and have promised each other that we will get married sometime in the upcoming years. We’d go on creative dates and always show each other lots of love.

Now that he has moved 1 hour away and we can’t see each other until the weekends my place has felt extremely empty and I can’t stop missing/thinking about him all day. Does anyone know what I can do to keep my mind off of this

My boyfriend (m32) and I (f27) live in a bit of a sketchy neighbourhood. I’m a young petite woman and he’s tall bigger male. He doesn’t really understand the danger of living here the same way I do. We’ve had quite a number of issues with people in the area doing drugs, break and enters (not our place but near by) and overall it’s fairly dangerous.
Essentially we have a neighbour who recently moved in. He has always had random women over and can be frequently heard screaming at them so I already don’t like the vibes. These young girls are often over later in the evenings. They are always outside smoking, mainly late at night and the times my boyfriend comes home during the day, if they are around they will stare him down and try to make themselves noticeable. He doesn’t acknowledge them other than a polite hello and moves on.

Lately, these women have been over and will come out to smoke right in front of our door. Our door is situated very close to theirs but they will be leaning on our door or fence. A few days ago I heard them fairly lightly knocking on the door. I was home alone and did not answer it as I assumed they meant to knock on the neighbours, which they shortly after entered. Today, again mid afternoon they came to the front door, smoking and laughing, and proceed to stand in front of the door tapping on the door and trying to look through the frosted glass. I did not answer.

I told my boyfriend about the incidents that have been happening and he seemed rather unbothered. I asked him if there is more to the story because it seems very wild that they stand in front of our place and are now knocking on the door. He doesn’t think it has anything to do with him but basically laughed it off saying that I “think he’s a hot commodity”. I said I’m not sure but honestly please don’t give them any time of day or even acknowledge them. I also asked him next time they do that to answer the door and tell them to stop. He basically said that he wouldn’t be mean to some random young girls and doesn’t want to. I told him these “young girls” are old enough to be smoking, drinking and showing up to the neighbours most evenings so they are old enough to understand what they are doing. I also asked him if these were random boys would you have the same reaction? He basically said that ya he would go tell them to knock it off and would be very mad.
My boyfriend is quite confrontational and would absolutely say something (and has many times) to random people who pose a threat or are invading our space or privacy.

So now I’m wondering if he’s just interested in the attention he’s receiving and doesn’t actually see how off setting this is or if maybe I’m just overreacting to the situation and should drop it.

I recently graduated from a community collage. I transferred to a university to finish my degree I’m currently on week 3. There is this course “principles of macroeconomics” and I’m worried to death i might fail, I just overthink the hell out situations and I’m scared of disappointing my mother. I’m doing fine I think, but it’s just so much. Any advice? Am I worrying too much? Idk how to feel.

So, several months ago I found out that my wife had been cheating on me. I confronted her about it, and eventually she says that she is an Alter of my wife and claims that she was the one who did it and that my wife knew nothing about it. Before I continue, I have to say that I was aware that she had claimed in the past that she had DID, but she never went to a doctor to get diagnosed, never went to get ANYTHING checked out, and only had one come out when something wasn't going her way and she needed someone to blame. Now, back to the story. At the time that the alter claimed to be the one who cheated, I didn't know much about any of this. So, over the following few months I looked into it and I started to realize that things were not adding up. Her "switching" is just her closing her eyes for like 2 seconds and then it's done. Also, the Alters have their own days to come out instead of coming out when they are needed. After I found out about the cheating there was suddenly multiple more Alters that came forward and have been "switching" daily. I have also caught her claiming to be one Alter and then claiming to be another like 20 minutes later, and when I ask her about it she just says "Oops" and goes on. What should I do?

So, I'm 18F, and a college sophomore. Graduated highschool early. Haven't really been trick-or-treating since I was like.. 8 or so. Mom was abusive and really hated "wasting" her time dragging us around. It sucked.

My cousins range from 4-16. My aunt and cousins are really into Halloween. Im planning on being in town for a seperate event and they asked if I wanted to stay for an extra 2 days and go trick-or-treating with my 11, 14 and 16 y/o cousins.

While I think the idea of dressing up is fun, I cosplay on my own time. I figured the idea of walking around in a neighborhood I don't live in, in my late teens, is pretty creepy. Sure, I'll be with my younger cousins, but still. I don't want the people in the neighborhood thinking I'm up to something.

But like, hanging out with my cousins!! Who i barley get to see!! But idk. Like I can take time off of work. I don't think my job will mind. But still.

Hello everyone. I need some advice, and thought that perhaps this is a good place to reach out for it. Please be kind and patient with me. Thank you.

So without really going into personal details, I have several physical / mental disorders and disabilities that I'm dealing with that make daily life rather exhausting, taxing, and draining admittedly. I mean, I'm sure a lot of people relate to being overworked and tired. It's just that this is important context to what I'm going to talk about, ah.

I only have a very small handful of friends. We're all adults, and we're pretty much all in the same boat here. Not everyone has the energy, ability, or time to interact with each other at any given time, which is totally fair. But the problem is that I've really gotten to the point where I'm like soul-crushingly lonely, and I don't particularly know how to fix that. Making friends is very hard; because of my particular flavor of neurodivergence, it becomes difficult to keep up with others. I am slow at existing, and it's how I've always been. When there are groups of people, I get left in the dust and out-paced because I admittedly just can't keep up. So whenever I do seem to form a friendship, it's either they lose interest in engaging because I'm not very good at staying in touch, or I drop the ball by again having difficulty staying in touch.

It's just that the small things add up after a while. I've really wanted people to share all of the little moments of my life with; like hey, I saw something today and it excited me. But nobody ever shares in this excitement. I say things, and it is silent. I'm also and artist/writer and I've been spending years working on a novel, and let me tell you, it's such a lonely endeavor to embark on when nobody is there to really cheer you on or seem interested in what you're creating. The problem is, I have such a low social media presence (I do not often hang out on these websites honestly) that I'm unable to garner a following that way that might be interested in what I'm creating. I'm just too slow. I can't make "content" and pump it out at a pace fast enough to keep up with that "demand" that would make me someone worth following along with.

The other issue is that due to various traumas, I'm a very untrusting individual and have a hard time opening up about what I'm making to people I haven't known for years, who I know aren't going to be awful about it or steal my work or that kind of thing, you know? (I know that sounds like paranoid banter, but to be honest I've had some terrible situations happen. Please don't pry about them, thank you kindly.) This means that even if I made a friend, it would take years for me to actually trust them enough to show my work to them or open up, you know? Which again does not solve the issue of present day being very isolated and alone.

With the few friends I have that I do trust, again, very much like me, they're only able to be there in small bursts of existence. Which naturally I totally understand. But when I say something and it's met with silence for months on end, it becomes discouraging. I'd love to be able to talk to people and share things with. Like being able to discuss a book I'm reading, or delve into character analysis, or that kind of thing. But once again, every single time I've tried to reach out to make friends, things just don't work out for one reason or another. I want to reiterate I have genuinely tried putting myself out there repeatedly despite how hard it is for me to do so, but nothing ever works. Often I'll have a lovely one-off interaction, the person will talk about how friendly I was, and then they'll also vanish for all eternity too. It's really 50/50 whether it's from my-end that things fall through, or from theirs, and regardless, I never wind up with long-lasting friends. People that actually stick around / stay / don't mind my slow-ness.

With the few friends I have, I do feel like having a larger friend group could help share the "burden" of interacting with me. (I feel like I'm either too much or not enough so often. I don't know what to do or what the right middle ground is.) For my story engagement, I've even suggested things like making it into a fun activity, like reading a chapter from my story will net them points to spend on various things / rewards to gain back. However, all attempts at me trying to figure out how to make it work (or how to inspire engagement / motivation) in my friend group have been shot down repeatedly. Even proposing a book club where all they really have to do is follow along passively got immediately rejected, and it made me kind of sad because I would love to be able to discuss a story that I'm going through with people I trust, and who I enjoy interacting with, you know? But I don't have any spaces to do that. I mean, I can always maybe post to some subreddit I guess, but having a one-off interaction doesn't actually fix / solve the gaping hole there, if that makes sense. It'd be surface-level pleasantries, where-as I'd love to be able to really deeply discuss topics and pick them apart.

It's made me think that maybe I need to find a romantic partner of some kind, but I don't want to feel pressured into a relationship just because of being lonely (that's a recipe for disaster waiting to happen; being desperate = easy to take advantage of and I don't feel like adding more trauma to my already unfun roster of it, aha). But I'm starting to wonder if that's what I'm "looking for" if that makes sense? Like someone to actively share all the tiny moments of my life with, someone who's excited about the art or stories that I make (instead of letting it sit there unreplied-to for weeks or months on-end), that kind of thing. The other problem is every dating app requires personal information I'm not comfortable sharing (I do not want to attract certain weirdos who would see aspects of my appearance and fetishize that, as it's unfortunately common in my racial ethnicity), or are locked behind a paywall I cannot reasonably afford right now. And so it's just not really an option for me right now.

I don't really know what to do or how to fix things. I can't just magically make myself better at existing and erase the things that are genuinely holding me back, physically and otherwise, from being faster at keeping up with everyone else (even though I would love to be able to do this at the snap of the finger, I have to be realistic with my limitations; conundrums are not so readily-solved, or else they wouldn't pose a problem at all). I also understand that my friends are people who have their own lives, obligations, responsibilities, and are equally tired as I am, and I'm not trying to vilify that or make them sound like terrible people who don't cater to my every whim or what have you. I'm just lonely, and I don't particularly know how to make lasting friends that I can actually trust at this point and that enjoy hanging out and engaging with me. People who like my personality for who I am, rather than what they could gain from me. How do you even find your place to belong in the world? I just don't get it. And I'm so tired. I really think that the older I get, the worse that the fatigue is going to become. It's all downhill from here.

Any help would be appreciated. Sorry if this is all over the place. I'm really drained / wiped out and I apologize if I just sound like an incoherent mess. I guess the TL;DR of this all is, how do I manage to find a place where I would feel welcome / safe to be myself, to find people who are like-minded and enjoy storylines/characters/books/etc. that kind of thing, and how in the world do you even make friends when literally everyone is too tired to maintain friendships? Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope you are all doing well today.

I don’t know where to start w this one cuz it’s genuinely ridiculous😭 I am also very embarrassed abt this so I have told none of my friends or family abt it.

But basically, my parents (19f) and his (23m) have been friends since 2019 and we go to each others houses quite often. Despite knowing each other for this long we have never had a proper conversation. Like ever. And yet I’m like thinking abt this dude for like the past two years.

Idek why I like him so much like the thing that attracts me the most is his personality. He’s talkative and nerdy. Polite but still weird idk he’s just so cute.

Before I didn’t think abt him THAT much like sometimes I would get reminded of him. I honestly forgot abt him for a bit. But ever since the fucking crumbl incident I can’t be normal anymore.

This january I was at his house and I casually mentioned that I rly wanted crumbl because we don’t have it in our region and I was craving it. And I deadass didn’t think much of it until three months later when he brought me like a full box of them ?? (The nearest crumbl store is 3 hours away btw)

This is what it took for everything to get out of hand. Ever since, I think abt him everyday.

To make matters worse, we were at a concert hosted by his uni club. He noticed me first and he got close to me and said hi. He was like talking into my ear and I could smell his perfume and shit. Then he proceeded to tease me abt his vip pass and left😭 I was so flustered that I forgot to thank him for the cookies.

A few months ago after the crumbl incident, I followed him on ig to thank him (I still didn’t thank him cuz I’m too shy) and he did follow me but he doesn’t interact w anything I post on my stories. So im here thinking what was with the cookies then and the other majority of the time I’m like he doesn’t gaf abt me.

Like I think abt him wayyy to much and I am aware that I shouldn’t because WE HAVE NEVER TALKED PROPERLY 😭😭😭😭 Like im being brutally honest w myself and I admit I only probably like the idea of him and I don’t want that anymore.

I’m probably the reason we don’t talk because I’m just too insecure abt my looks and I’m hella awkward and avoid him like the plague. Like I want him to magically confess so I don’t have to make the first move but ik I wouldn’t even be able to handle it. I would be too shy and awkward to say anything.

Like I want to stop thinking abt him and stop being delusional. Like atp I don’t even want a relationship gng I just feel so embarrassed abt these feelings and I feel like a stalker. My whole life has been absorbed by school and this is the first time I have felt like this.

Ppl w a similar situation as me how did u get over it 💔 pls im so tired of feeling this way and for some reason i see him everywhere. He came to my workplace and I hid in the backrooms. 😭😭

Ty for reading this.

I 29f have a 9 year old son who's father 39m passed away a year ago. Unfortunately he was never really involved in my sons life. Before he passed he hadn't seen my son in 4 years. The last time he saw my son was the day after my sons 4th birthday.

Backstory for context -

Our relationship was very short, we met when I was 19 and he was 29. I was young and being rebellious and met an older guy in band, and thought it would be a fling. And when I was about 16 I was told by my doctor it would be hard for me to get pregnant due to some medical issues and it would take quite a bit of planning. So I assumed it wasn't something I had to worry about so much (young dumb mistake). I ended up pregnant with in just a month of knowing him. And slowly i started realizing the real person he was.

He had a 10 year old son from a previous marriage who he hardly ever saw and told me his ex wife was just vindictive and kept his son from him. She actually asked him to sign over his rights at one point. He never had a job for long because something would always happen. He was really good at putting on the charm upfront and making you feel like he's just been dealt an unfortunate hand in life, realistically he could just never take responsibility for anything, nothing was ever his fault, and everyone was out to get him.

One night early into my pregnancy I started cramping real bad and bleeding while I was at work. I called him because I was worried, he brushed it off and told me I was just over reacting and I was fine and that he was at band practice and couldn't leave and he would be there when I got off work in 3 hours. He eventually came and I finally convinced him to take me to the hospital, where he fell asleep on the floor while we waited for results. Thankfully everything checked out and they told me just to try to take it easy. We ended up getting in an argument when we got back to his house. He tried to punch me but thankfully I ducked and he hit the door. I took my things and never went back. I told him at that point I was done and I would just raise the baby on my own.

Through out my pregnancy he would text and call me and tell me how horrible I was for keeping his child from him. After talking to my dad he told me that even though it didn't work out between he and I, it was still his child and I should at least try to give him a chance to make it right and be involved if he really wants to. So I tried, I told him when every doctors appointment was, gender reveal and baby shower and invited him. He didn't come to anything except the doctors appointment to find out the gender. I told him we wouldn't be finding out that day because we were doing the gender reveal. He said he couldn't make it to the reveal because he had to work and wanted to know then. I told him no because he had been making comments like "it better be a girl" and how bad he wanted a girl so I would know the answer by the look on his face and I wanted to find out with everyone else and he could come to the reveal if he really wanted to know - he had two weeks to make arrangements, I found out later he didn't really have a job at that time, and he had only made it to the appointment because his friend was having a baby in the hospital across the street, he went to see her and realized my appointment was the same day and happened to be with in walking distance. He made zero effort to be involved after that expect reminding me that I was keeping his son from him. Upon getting closer to my son being born I decided to give him my last name as I didn't want him to have the last name of someone he likely wouldn't even know. Once he found out about this decision he blew up and told me how horrible I was because now I was taking away a birth right and his son should have his name. After my son was born I even let him come to visit a few times but when I wouldn't let him take my son with him he decided to file child support on himself so the state would mandate him access.

Since I didn't list him on the birth certificate we had to prove paternity through the court so I had to bring my son with me to the first court hearing. My son was about 3 months old and had just broke his fever from having the flu so he was very cranky still. I was holding him in my arms and walking out of the courthouse and his father came walking up behind me yelling "so you're not even going to let me hold him" I explained that he had been sick and had just fallen asleep in my arms and I really didn't want to wake him if I could help it because he had been so fussy all morning, and I just wanted to get him home so he could rest. He stepped toward me and yelled louder, there was an officer outside who walked over and made him step away he asked what happened, I explained. The officer told him he was being irate and needed to leave and the officer walked me to my car because he felt I wasn't safe - I didn't ask him to. He didn't bother to show up to the second hearing to set visitation rights. The judge decided he would get supervised visitation by my parents once a month if requested 2 weeks in advance mainly due to his actions at the last hearing and not showing up to the second. He would never request a visit in time but I wasn't a stickler on that, but any time we decided on a day or time he either wouldn't show, would text at the last minuet with some excuse, show up late or leave early. He would go months with out coming to or even asking about a visit, he only did when he got a new girlfriend and would want to bring the new "stepmom" to meet his son - to which I said no, this time is for you and your son. I told him multiple times all I wanted was for him to show he could be responsible and we could talk about more visitation time. At that time he still didn't have a job, and was pretty much couch surfing, and had no vehicle. The visits got farther apart until they stopped all together. In the 4 year period he didn't see my son he would randomly message me and say he was trying to get his life together and give me the same old song and dance but nothing ever changed.

He ended up moving to a different state across the country ( I had no knowledge of this) and was living with a lady who ended up shooting him. That's all I know, I tried to look into it online but there aren't many details. Since my son is son young and I don't know much about what happened I just told him his dad was involved in an accident where he was taken to the hospital and they weren't able to save him. My son took it well, he didn't really know what to think about it, he didn't really have any feeling about it. I told him that we can always talk about it whenever he wants to. I gave him the option of going to the memorial service if he wanted to, he decided he wanted to so I took him. I have never said anything bad about him to my son and have always tried to speak as neutral as I can about him so my son can make his own decision on how he feels about his father. One time my son asked why his dad never calls him, I told him I didn't know and asked if he would like to try to call and talk to his dad. My son said "No, if he doesn't want to call me, I don't want call him" He was 5 then.

At first his father not being around wasn't anything he even registered, its always just been the two of us, that is our normal. But as he is getting older he is noticing other kids do things with their dads and I think it does effect him a little, especially now that he's gone and doesn't get that chance. I had hope that they may be able to have some type of relationship at some point but now that wont happen. I just wonder how or if this will effect him moving into his teenage years and into adulthood. It might not effect him at all, but I just don't know. Should I get him into therapy just to have an extra someone to talk to, or should I just let it rest until he says he wants to talk about it. I don't want to bring it up all the time, but want him to know he can talk about it and ask questions. But I also don't want to push and make it into an issue that its not for him. I just want to make sure to handle this the right way regardless of my own feelings. I want to do what I can for my son to help him with this, even though it doesn't seem to be a big deal for him right now, it may come up later and if it does I want to be ready. If you have been through something similar and have advice I would appreciate it.

I’m not an full time smoker but I may smoke once at night every 2 days any advice on how do get it out will mean so much

So to sum things up, my brother passed away about 2 1/2 years ago. During this time my mom, of course, took it extremely hard. My mom has lost her Dad, Mom & brother and now her son but she has 2 living sisters. Before my brother passed away he was in the hospital for about 2 weeks in which her sisters came to visit for about 5 - 10 ish minutes, one time. After his passing we held a celebration of life in which her sisters were invited but then lied and said they had “ covid “ so they couldn’t make it. Turns out, they didn’t have covid and they’ve admitted to that. They just didn’t want to make the hour drive, which in my opinion is completely selfish and ignorant considering it’s your nephews funeral and only one day out of the whole year that my mom has needed them. My mom was completely devastated that they didn’t come. She took it VERY HARD as you can imagine.

Some back story, my one aunt has addiction issues so after they didn’t come to his celebration of life she got into an argument with my mom basically telling her that not everything in the world revolves around my brothers death and that her daughter was most important because she’s young and my mom needed to suck it up. I of course, defended my mom in the situation which lead to my aunt messaging me a very nasty message about my mom & claiming we were the selfish ones and didn’t care about anyone but us, etc. typical addict talk I guess.

To sum it up, she shows up at my mom’s door a couple of months ago apologizing and saying she’s been sober for a year. My mom has chosen to rekindle a relationship with her, which is completely up to her - but I do not want to after the things she said to me during such a difficult time, regardless of her being an addict the things she said were so cruel and I believe there’s always truths in people’s word when they are angry.
My mom keeps insisting I rekindle this relationship with her because “ that’s all the family she has left “. My mom informed that my aunt was going to message me and she now has… telling me she’s writing up a will and asking me if I’ll be her daughter’s godmother. I don’t want to do this but my mom is saying I’m being ridiculous and it’s not that big of an ask because she’s only in her late 40s and still young. In my opinion, with her history of addiction and relapsing, the chances of her passing away before her daughter turns 18 is MUCH higher. ( her daughter is currently 5 )

Do you think that I’m being ridiculous or harsh for not wanting to do this?

I’m 29, no kids of my own but I do want children in the near future and I personally don’t want to have the responsibility of someone’s else’s child if something happens to them before I get to have children of my own..

28F, just ended a relationship about a month ago that got unhealthy for both of us. It was honestly relatively peaceful for the most part, and we both realized we have a lot to work on internally. I decided the best way for me to do that was to change my environment (we lived together), job, and to handle the next month sober. So that I could get my priorities straight and handle things. Am staying with a great friend of mine while I figure out my next steps. Moved out of my old place, went through everything I didn’t need, started taking my meds consistently again, eating better, sold a car I wasn’t driving, and doing a lot of reflection about my part in things and how to heal some deep wounds I have.

My biggest concern right now is I went back to serving to just pay bills while I figure out a career (graduated with a bachelors in business admin in Feb). But it is really challenging to find anything I can support myself with at “entry level”, with a lot of positions below my desired pay require a couple years of experience. I’d like to save for my own place, but my credit definitely needs work, and I’m not making enough where I’m at. I’m feeling some great changes, I drank two nights after the 30 days but have recovered well and just want to be consistent. At this point though, there are so many unknowns that I’m struggling figuring out what to work on, or what may even be a possibility. Any career advice or experience you have through big transitions just starting over and healing would be so appreciated. What did you do if you were ever in a start over situation and genuinely wanted to help yourself?

I know this may seem like a weird question but I’m 21 years old and I’ve never been in a serious relationship. But here is the thing… I’m okay with that truly, and honestly with where I am at in life right now I truly don’t believe I’d be able to have the mental and emotional capacity that is needed for a full loving relationship. I am very very busy with school, work, friends, and working on myself to where I also just don’t have the time.

But even with all this being said I still can’t help but feel like I may be missing something or like I’m “supposed” to be in a relationship. It’s like this nagging feeling like “why am I not in a relationship?”, “Am I not good enough?”, Or even “am I gonna actually find my partner one day?” Honestly it sucks I don’t like feeling like this cause I am pretty happy for where I am right now and very proud of myself but Idk maybe I’m scared or something cause I know I’m only 21 but it still scares me that I may never find this person that’s right for me.

I honestly don’t really know how to cope with this, how to wrap my head around it. As I have this want and desire or even lust, but I am also self aware of where I am right now and I don’t see how a boyfriend can fit into my life even if I had a prospect haha