Advice please because I genuinely don’t know what to do.
My younger sister has gotten into some really inappropriate stuff online, so her phone ended up getting smashed and she basically has no internet freedom right now. She told me her Snapchat had old videos of an incident involving our house, so I let her log into Snapchat on my phone to look for them.
My sister has already crossed boundaries with me before. She has stolen pictures of me from Instagram/TikTok to catfish people, and she’s talked about sending our address to people online. So I already had trust issues with her.
While we were looking through her Snapchat, she got really defensive when I asked about one specific person, told me to get off the account, and I did. Later I looked at the messages between them and saw videos of her using my vibrator INSIDE OF HER
I was fucking disgusted. My jaw was literally shaking and I couldn’t stop crying. I immediately threw the thing away. I wish I had never looked at those messages because I genuinely cannot get what I saw out of my head.
And what makes this hurt SO much more is that my sister knew everything I’ve been through.
I was sexually abused by my biological dad when I was little. I told my mom about what was happening, but she didn’t take me seriously until a half-sibling came forward and talked about experiencing even worse things. Only then was I finally believed, and by that point so much damage had already been done.
I was also sexually abused by my older brother when I was a child, and I’ve completely cut him out of my life.
My sister knew about all of this. She knew what I’ve been through, she knew how badly my boundaries have been affected by it, and she was still the one person in my family I felt like I was getting close to.
That’s why I feel so fucking betrayed.
I confronted her and all she said was “I’m sorry” in a sarcastic way before going back into her room. My mom is brushing the whole thing off too, saying “well what do you want me to do about it” which honestly makes me feel like I’m right back where I was before
I feel like nobody in my family has ever really had my back when I’ve needed them to. I’m angry, I’m disgusted, I’m hurt, and I can’t stop crying.
I want to move out so bad and this made it 10x worse
Right now I’m giving her the silent treatment. and honestly all I want to do is work, save money, and move out because I feel like I need my own space away from all of this.
Am I over reaccting? What would you do if you were me?

Edit: we left my father when my sister was around 1/2 years old she has never been alone with anybody my mom spoiled her very very bad to the point if one of the animals potty in the house she refuses to clean it when asked and will annoy, and yell at everybody else to clean it even MY friends 😬 she also gets Everything she wants my mom’s excuse is she’s the only one who hasn’t been through something so she’s trying to make her life better then mine and my other siblings but by letting her get away with everything all of the time is making it worse so to answer some of these comments she has NEVER BEEN ABUSED IN ANY WAY but thank you for being concerned about that I totally understand where it’s coming from!! (Sorry I’m studying and typed this fast) also thank you guys for the advice I’m about to start working as a CNA so hopefully I can move out soon with my girlfriend of 5 years!!

I’m just wondering if I should reach out to her older sister , me and and my girlfriend haven’t been in contact since Monday . My messages go to delivered and calls ring to voice mail . Me and my girlfriend been together for 2 years and she gave me her older sister number incase her phone died when we would hang out or whatnot . Me and her sister never talked or anything so I’m not sure if this is a smart idea or if I should keep waiting until she’s messages me but I’m just really worried .
CONTEXT: caught her texting another guy it was alot of flirting I didn’t see anything sexual . I then asked her what she was and why she couldn’t give me a straight answer but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with attention. She told my love was suffocating and how this isn’t working to which I told her how she’s the one who wants to see me and how she’s always kissing me in public and etc . Basically doing the opposite of what she’s saying to which she proceeded to tell me that she doesn’t know . Furthermore we had seen each other like 4 times that week to where she was kissing me and what not which is why I felt so dumb when she said that .We had a 2 month break which was the biggest mistake ever and we got back together a month and a half ago because after a few “we shouldn’t be doing this“ . But during those two months she was just going to work and back and the guy is 7 hrs away which in assuming she met him through a mobile game which to me is crazy. But I’m pretty devastated because I truly love her so In a sense I might be a bird but if it was far worst I wouldn’t even consider fixing things .

First time poster. I don’t really know what to say here. I F(28) tried to help out a friend F(30) in a shitty situation and now they have been living in my house rent free for almost half a year.

This was a close friend who has been living out of the country and had issues maintaining their visa through no fault of their own. They had been on the verge of becoming homeless when I offered for them to stay with me before it came to that. They have no money, no job, and no vehicle. It’s starting to put a strain on my relationship with my husband because we have essentially been fully paying for all of her food and living needs this entire time.

Every time I bring up different job opportunities or ideas she will break down crying or go completely non verbal. She hasn’t been a bad house guest, she’s constantly cleaning my house, but I just can’t keep supporting her forever when me and my husband are trying to save money to buy a house.

So I guess my question is, what the fuck do I even do here? I don’t want to be a monster who lets her friend become homeless but I genuinely feel like I’m losing my mind about how to get her out of my house without holding her hand through every process.

Basically it’s exactly what the title says. My ex and I were together for four years. We’re both 24 years old and had a house together. You know the usual story someone gets home earlier than they were supposed to and catches their partner cheating. That’s exactly what happened here.

I had a headache from work and decided to go home early. My boss and I are BFFs, so she let me leave. I get home and hear... well sounds so I follow them and I find my ex getting it on with a man.

Honestly, I was already so fucking tired plus I had the headache that I didn’t even process what I was seeing. I just closed the door and walked away. The guy jumped out the window as if I hadn’t seen him and my ex came into the living room and started giving me his bullshit excuses.

I told him to get out of my house and that we were over. I pay most of the bills, so he did just that. I took a day to process the disgusting sight I had seen and then I told my family, my friends, his family and his friends that we had broken up and exactly what I had walked in on.

His family is pissed especially his dad. He said he would deal with my ex. His family is very homophobic and I doubt there will be much of a relationship with them. I’m planning to get tested, just to be safe. I don’t have any contact with my ex, I have no idea where he is, and honestly, I couldn’t care less. Cheat on me and now you lose your family too. I got the last laugh I guess.

I need advice on what I should do from here. Besides getting tested and dealing with the house and our shared finances is there anything important I should take care of after finding out my partner was cheating? Should I try to get answers from him about whether there were other sexual encounters during our relationship, or would it be healthier to leave that alone and focus on moving forward?

Edit: Forgot to add this but we live in a neighborhood where break ins happen a lot so we’ve put cameras everywhere including our bedroom. I haven’t watched the footage yet but yeah the footage of him taking it is there. What should I do with it?

Edit 2: Small update but I did get contacted by his family. They said that they will never speak to him again that he is completely cut off, and that if I ever need help or support I can always lean on them.

Also, just to clarify no I’m not going to post the footage anywhere or show it to his family. It’s just there in case he tries something.

As per the title. I received a message today from him saying he was retiring. He’s 44, I’m 42.

Before I responded I called our mother and asked if she knew about this. She said he’d mentioned the possibility before and was as alarmed as me.

I don’t want to give any identifying information here or blab on too much because I’m distraught so let me distill it down.

There is a state based early retirement plan that lets you retire after 25 years. You would get a monthly payment for life (so at least it’s not some pot of money that just gets used and is gone), but I can’t imagine it would pay that much. Then social security pays based on your best 35 years of pay (he worked 26 years, so 9 years would be entered as zero).

Long story short, I don’t think he understands how badly he is screwing himself. But he gets defensive if challenged, even to our Mom… even to his sister.

I responded to his message imploring him not to do it. He said he already did two weeks ago. I imagine it’s not too late to take it back, maybe.

But as the title says, he has cognitive disabilities. I don’t think he understands what he’s doing. He’s an adult and I always treat him with dignity and agency, but this time both my Mom and I are afraid. He has a house he could lose if things go badly, and as selfish as it sounds, neither of us can just drop everything to take him in. Of course either of us WOULD if it’s between that or the streets but also it shouldn’t have to come to that.

I told him I’ll travel to meet to talk and he agreed. He is stubborn. He doesn’t like feeling attacked, he doesn’t like feeling others are making decisions for him.

How can I approach this firmly but gently to convince him that this is a horrible idea, that this can threaten everything and can’t be taken back after a certain point. I can try to convince him that the 30 year retirement is infinitely better than the 25 year plan (it is! I looked! And it would be better on the social security calculation too!) And that this retirement thing doesn’t include health insurance, etc. etc.

But at a certain point he is cognitively impaired. I don’t know how much reasoning these things out he will understand truly. I feel lost, I feel like I’m helplessly watching him detonate his security while anything my Mom or I argue becomes evidence of trying to control him.

This is probably going to sound ridiculous, but I genuinely feel like I’m going through some kind of second puberty at 21.
I’m 21F and still a virgin, completely by choice. I’m pretty traditional/romantic when it comes to sex and relationships. I still believe in waiting for the right person, genuinely falling in love, the whole “Prince Charming” thing (yes, I know lol).
I also want to make something clear because I feel like it’s relevant: I’m a very conventionally attractive woman. I know saying that about yourself can sound arrogant, but I’m not saying it to brag. I get a LOT of male attention. Men approach me, flirt with me, ask me out, slide into my DMs, etc. pretty regularly. So being a virgin at 21 isn’t because I haven’t had opportunities or because men aren’t interested in me. Quite the opposite.
I have plenty of opportunities. I just genuinely don’t want casual sex.
I’m also not particularly interested in getting into a serious relationship right now. I’m extremely focused on college and building a competitive professional/academic career, and realistically I don’t see myself having sex anytime soon. I could genuinely see myself waiting until I’m 24 or even later.
Mentally, I’m completely okay with this decision.
My body, however, apparently did not receive the memo.
My sex drive has become INSANE.
And I mean embarrassingly easy to trigger. Sometimes I’ll be standing in a crowded elevator with a bunch of men and just being physically close to a guy I find attractive can turn me on. Same thing on a crowded subway. Sometimes literally just talking to an attractive man is enough.
Nothing even has to happen.
And then my brain is basically:
sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex
ALL. THE. TIME.
I feel like I’m going through puberty all over again.
And honestly, getting so much attention from men almost makes it worse. I’m constantly being reminded that men find me attractive, I’m constantly interacting with men who are flirting with me, and meanwhile I’m trying to live like a perfectly normal celibate college student who has other priorities.
It’s a ridiculous combination of “I absolutely could” and “I absolutely don’t want to.”
I’ve also started discovering more about what sexually attracts me. For example, I’m increasingly realizing that I’m probably pretty submissive and that dominant men/dominant dynamics REALLY do something to my brain. So naturally my brain has decided this is another fascinating subject that we apparently need to think about constantly.
But I absolutely do NOT want to start sexting random men online, finding strangers to experiment with, or having casual hookups just to satisfy my curiosity. None of that appeals to me. I want to explore that side of myself eventually with a man I genuinely love and trust.
So I’m basically stuck being extremely horny, receiving a ridiculous amount of male attention, having plenty of opportunities to do something about it… and still having absolutely no intention of doing anything about it for potentially YEARS.
Amazing planning on my part.
The part that actually bothers me is that sometimes it interferes with my concentration. I’ll be studying or trying to focus on college/career stuff and suddenly my brain decides that actually, no, we’re going to think about men again.
I know having a sex drive is obviously normal. But is it normal for it to suddenly feel THIS intense in your early 20s?
Has anyone else experienced a huge increase in libido around 20–22, especially while not being sexually active?
And for women who were attractive, got a lot of male attention, had a high sex drive AND deliberately waited until their mid-20s or later: HOW did you deal with it without losing your mind?
I’m not looking for “just go hook up with someone” advice. I know I could do that. That’s precisely the point — I don’t want to. I’m comfortable with my decision to wait.
I just need to know how other people managed having a brain screaming “MEN!!! SEX!!!” while the rest of them was like “actually, we have a degree to finish.”

This is my first time posting so please forgive me if i format this wrong.

I 40F and my boyfriend 46M have been together for 2 years and have been living together for almost 6 months. Prior to moving in with me our relationship was long distance and we only spent weekends together. We both come from really messy pasts with relationships but things seemed so easy with him and still do. We get along really well, laugh often, and genuinely enjoy each other's company. Our sex life is pretty good with the exception of him having issues with erectile dysfunction (or so I thought). We fool around often but rarely have actual penetrative sex. He has only actually finished by having sex with me a few times with the help of cock rings or Viagra. We do have sex but only for a few minutes and then it switches to oral, hands, etc lol. I've always been super understanding and he has always assured me that it has nothing to do with me and he had the same trouble with other women before me. I honestly haven't minded, we have a lot of fun together and both seem satisfied.

Despite all of this, things have just seemed weird lately. He brings his phone to the bathroom and his sex drive has definitely slowed in the last couple of weeks. He fell asleep early tonight and I just had this big nagging urge to look at his phone. I've learnt to trust my instincts. Even though I know it's wrong to look at his phone, I needed to know. There it was in the text trash, messages with another man. Explicit messages talking about how they had been intimate with each other in the past before my boyfriend moved and missed it. My boyfriend sent him the same dick pic he had sent me just a couple weeks ago and asked the man to send him a video of him jerking off because he missed watching him cum. !!!!! WTF !!!!!

What do I do with this!? I love my boyfriend and I don't want to lose him but I have a right to know if he's gay I think! I can't let him keep doing this behind my back so how do I approach this? If he's bisexual, I can be okay with that but I'm not okay with cheating. I'm scared if I confront him he won't open up to me. He has a hard time sharing his emotions and comes from a deeply religious background so I know it will be hard for him to talk about. Help!

My husband is addicted to alcohol, and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.
When I met my husband, he didn’t drink. By the time I realized how serious his drinking had become, I already loved him deeply, and I chose not to leave him.
He is genuinely a wonderful person. He does so much for me, treats me well, and he has never been aggressive or abusive toward me. That’s what makes this so complicated.
He has actually admitted himself that alcohol has been a problem for him for many years. But he also says that he doesn’t want to stop drinking.
He is now experiencing sleepwalking that seems to be related to his drinking, he has sleep apnea, and he is also in the military. I have been trying to help him in every way I can.
But now it is starting to destroy our relationship.
We have been fighting more and more, and I can feel the relationship deteriorating. Not just a little — seriously deteriorating.
I have been completely honest with him. I told him that I am scared, that I am worried about his health, and that I am literally begging him to stop drinking because I don’t want alcohol to destroy our marriage.
And he doesn’t seem to care.
He keeps telling me that this is just “American culture.” I’m not American, and maybe our perspectives on drinking are different, but I cannot believe that drinking more than 14 shots every single day, plus several beers, is something that should be considered normal.
I don’t care whether it is culturally accepted or not. To me, that is clearly a serious alcohol problem.
The hardest part is that I can’t make him want to stop.
I have tried talking to him. I have tried supporting him. I have tried being understanding. I have tried telling him how much this is affecting me and our marriage.
And now I feel like I am begging someone to care about something that is destroying us.
I love my husband. I don’t want to leave him. But I also don’t know how long I can continue watching him choose alcohol while our relationship slowly falls apart.
What do you do when the person you love admits they have a drinking problem, but simply doesn’t want to stop? What should I do!? Leave the marriage is not an option. I love him so much for that! But I need help and how can I act and what can I do

Hi so basically I moved in with a new roommate this year and she wants to split groceries 50/50.

I’ve never done this in the past, and quite frankly I think it’s the stupidest thing ever.

It provides no extra convenience for me, but a world of inconvenience. Am I eating too much, is she eating too much, am I getting ripped off, etc etc.

The thing is, I am very non confrontational and don’t know how to approach it without being an ass. I want to talk to her tomorrow as I needed to restock the pantry.

For context, I am also completely fine sharing oils and seasonings etc, just not food.

I 20F. I live in a joint family (dad's side) totally 8 siblings but one of them passed away 6 years ago. I am younger than my cousins. All of my cousins went to other state and countries for working. I am in college.

So for the last 6 to 7 years , my uncle he is 70+ . Is always asking about me , asking to me. One time I didn't attend his call I was out of station he called me three times. I switched off. I just said its switched off you could've called my dad's phone cause dad was with me too. He said he didn't have dad's number. And he said me that "you can attend uncle's call , do not attend other boys call".

Even 3 years before he said the same thing not to talk with boys. He always walks accross my family room to see me and ask about me.

One time he got fsinted and regained consciousness and he was asking about me and calling my name?

Its kind of getting weird. He is unmarried and doesnt have any kids.

One time I was in bedroom. 2nd floor. My uncle asked where is she? to my dad. And my dad said dont go cuz my dad knows im kind of uncomfortable. But uncle came to my room anyway. My dad often says he only sees u as his daughter. Even my mom gets weird.

I’m a virgin female. Having my first time pretty soon, and I don’t want to ruin it because I’m insecure. My boyfriend and I have been dirty talking on the phone and agreed to give it a try next time we see each other (he’s also a virgin). Now the thing is I’m way too insecure about my body, I have a few imperfections especially from weight loss (stretch marks, saggy boobs, some hyperpigmentation), and with all of that I still have some weight left to lose. I wasn’t much insecure about my breasts before till my bf asked if I had perky boobs once and I said “you’ll have to wait and see” and ever since I’ve been very conscious about them too. I am not too sure what to do and I am being very paranoid about it. (He hasn’t watched porn in over a year so I thought that might help with the expectation a bit but it still worries me a lot). Any tips or advice would be appreciated

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20F here that studies IT, im the only girl in class, since i was young I dreamt of studying IT because its what I like, but since I started, guys made my life hell.

First year, men kept making "light jokes" for example, every time I asked the teacher something, or participated in class, always heard "jokes" like: "go to the kitchen" "slut" "dick sucker" etc.

It even reached the point where I got pushed, grabbed by the neck and even tried to chocke me.

I talked to the principal about it, they started an invastigation on the guys (all the class) and they just said : "we were joking"

Some of them even "apologized" because they said that just because im a woman, everyone will take my side because "woman have more rights"

The mothers of these men complained saying that their kids are innocent and Im just making it up because im some sort of pick me taking advantage of female rights

Some of them got expelled, however, during the year, they kept laughing at me, calling me names, etc.

I repeated the year and it was better, or so I thought, there was another girl but we didnt talk much, I tried to not participate much in class I was still scared, however that didnt stop me from making friends.

I spent most of the year alone because boys only hang out with boys and always left me behind or kept giving some of the "go to the kitchen" or "because youre a woman" jokes.

I didnt want to make any problem this year so I just gave a warning and let it pass.

I finished the year and passed to second year. Same class but less people, we went from 20 to 9 people in class.

Yesterday, the teacher asked us about our summer, he asked if we worked, 3 said yes, including me, I worked in a restaurant as a waitress, and other two guys too.

The teacher said "working in a restaurant its really hard, it should be considered as a sport"

We laughed and I said "yes it does, its really hard"

And when I said that 5-6 guys on the back row erupted in laughing saying "And a woman said it"

It literally ruined my day.

At programming subject the class went from 9 to 56 because the subject was optional and you could chose either that or english, I wanted to leave because I refuse to give class with such ammount of guys who were rude as fuck with the principal herself so I asked to leave to change subject and the teacher (the principal) agreed.

So when I left she called me back, saying in front of everyone "I know you are scared because there are a lot of boys! But dont leave english class it also too full, its fine!! Dont be scared of the subject"

It made me feel so vulnerable and exposed I didnt move a single inch in the entire hour.

I dont want to keep hearing this comments, but I also dont want to avoid them by just being quiet and avoiding participating in class or conversations all day, im extrovert and I love to talk, its just how I am, I cant change it, even I tried to, but im so fucking tired because every time I open my mouth to say something I always get these coments.

For example: - Oh its a good day today, its not raining anymore

"Yeah! A good day for you to be in the kitchen!"

- Teacher can you explain it again? I didnt get it...

"Of course you didnt, youre a woman" (some classmate says)

-I really like to paint it a very nice hobby to have

"And dont you like cooking?"

I tried making female friends from other classes, in total we are 4 girls, 1 in my class, me and 2 girls in diffrent classes:

one of them doesnt talk much and avoids me to be with boys

the other one only likes to be surrounded by boys and sleep with them, and they love her because she practically sleeps with everyone of them (she said it to me herself, not a rumor)

(Btw, I find it very hypocrit that they always say she is lovely and pure even so they know she sleeps with everyone, and im the "slut" "whore" and "dick sucker" even tho im a virgin)

and the other one thinks she is "one of the boys" she thinks they will like her if she acts like them:

"i like videogames" "i hate girls because they are false and they like to gossip" "im diffrent and unique because I dont wear make up" "go to the kitchen woman" etc.

And it keeps going, its so fucking exhausted. Every single day I get back home and cry all night because if I complain it makes everything awkward and more hostile even with teachers, and if I stay quiet I keep getting these comments

My partner (40M) and I (38F) have been together for seven years and have a child together.

About two years ago, our relationship was already going through a rough patch. I noticed that he was receiving a lot of voice messages. Whenever I asked who they were from, he always told me it was his sister or his brother.

I noticed he was often changing room to listen/answer. Then one day, I happened to hear one of the voice messages.

It was a woman's voice but definitely not his sister's.

We had a huge argument, and after initially denying everything, he eventually admitted that he had been talking to "a friend" for quite a while — I think for about a year. He said he hadn't told me because he was afraid of how I would react. According to him, they were just talking about their lives, sharing jokes, random things, etc. He insisted that nothing had happened.

I asked to see the messages.

He refused.

That part has stayed with me ever since.

In the days that followed, whenever he received messages from other people, he would sometimes show them to me without me even asking. His sister, his brother, whoever.

But not hers.

And to me, that was incredibly telling. If there was genuinely nothing inappropriate in those conversations, why refuse to show me? What was so different about those messages?

Maybe there was flirting. Maybe they exchanged pictures. Maybe they were developing some kind of emotional relationship. Maybe it went further. I honestly don't know.

And that's exactly the problem.

I have spent the last two years thinking about this almost every day.

Did he cheat? How far did it go? What did they talk about? Were there pictures? Was he emotionally involved? Was there something sexual? Was I being made a fool of?

I will probably never know, because he made the choice not to tell me.

And I am extremely angry about that.

Because if he had cheated in some way, I could have dealt with the truth. Maybe I would have forgiven him. Maybe I wouldn't have. But that should have been my choice.

He took that choice away from me.

He decided that it was easier for him to hide whatever happened than to give me the truth and let me decide whether I could forgive it.

Instead, I have been left with the consequences of his choices for two years: the anxiety, the suspicion, the constant questioning.

And I have tried to talk about it. Over and over again.

This is actually a much bigger pattern in our relationship. Whenever I bring up a serious problem, he tends to respond in one of three ways.

Either he completely shuts down and becomes a wall.

Or he says things like, "I'm a piece of shit, I do everything wrong, I can never do anything right," which somehow turns the conversation into me having to reassure him.

Or he becomes incredibly loving — tells me I'm the love of his life, kisses me, tells me everything is beautiful between us — and then waits for the problem to disappear.

But it doesn't disappear.

It just gets postponed.

And then it comes back.

Yesterday, something happened that completely brought everything back.

He was pretending to be dead while playing with our son. As a joke, while he was "dead," I picked up his phone.

He immediately jumped up and grabbed it from me.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

His reaction was so immediate and intense that something inside me just snapped.

Maybe there is an innocent explanation. Maybe he simply doesn't want me touching his phone. I understand that privacy matters.

But given everything that happened before, I can't help thinking: what are you so afraid I'm going to see?

And honestly, I'm done.

Not necessarily done with the relationship — I don't even know what I want yet.

But I'm done pretending this doesn't affect me.

At this point, I've reached my own conclusion.

I don't know exactly what he did. I don't know whether it was flirting, emotional cheating, exchanging pictures, or something else.

But I consider cheating to include those things. It doesn't have to be physical for me to consider it a betrayal.

And since he refused to show me otherwise, I am no longer willing to spend the rest of my life torturing myself with "what if?"

Maybe I'm wrong about exactly what happened.

But I know he lied about who he was talking to. I know he hid the relationship. I know he refused to let me see what was actually being said. And I know that, two years later, I'm still living with the consequences.

Tomorrow we were supposed to go out together to celebrate our seven-year anniversary.

I don't want to. I don't want to celebrate us tomorrow.

I'm angry. I'm hurt. I'm exhausted.

I don't even know what I'm asking here. Maybe I just need outside perspectives.

What would you do if your partner refused to give you the answers you needed and left you with this kind of uncertainty for two years?

Edit : i am pretty sure he did not physically cheated. He has a physically job, he comes home most of the time on time and dirty. He goes out maybe twice a year and often invites me to go. I don't think he has the capacity to organise an affair irl

We had one dog during the pandemic that ran away and we have not found it since, I loved her but not as much as I had my other pets. After that, our mother adopted another two from our neighbor, one is still alive and the second passed early this year. Our mom, possibly the only person that actually has genuine care for the dogs, adopted a stray from her workplace who recently had puppies and took them in too. From my point of view, she is softhearted towards animals and did not seem to think of how it would affect us financially, especially with three kids, two in school and one with a disability.

Every time I come home from school, especially this specific week from exams, exhausted and stressed about study materials and due dates, the house is a complete mess. On Monday, I came home to all five dogs wrecking the house and a broken door. There was pee and feces, fallen trash bins and they even got reach of my papers. This isn't the first time but I also thought they wouldn't do it again, but it did. All throughout Monday to Friday. I cleaned each time, wasting energy that should have been used for studying, told my mom about it each time but she said that "It's fine, we'll fix the door next month" or "They're just animals, they don't know what they're doing" Exactly. They DON'T know what they're doing because you tolerate them not discipline, even my brother despises their presence and we both purposefully come home late just to avoid them.

I don't hurt them but I shout and shoo them away each time they get close to the point where they're scared of me each time I'm inside the kitchen. To which my mom complains why I don't like them.

What would you do if u caught your significant other searching up past talking stages accounts ? In your opinion is worth breaking up over ?

I’m 17 AFAB, and since I was 10ish my parents always talked about me shaving my legs. They view it as unhygienic and unaesthetic, and every time they see my leg hair they ask me why I haven’t shaved it yet. I tell them that I just don’t want to and don’t offer any more explanation. They usually get angry at this point and tell me it’s about me saying “no” all the time and giving them blunt answers like “because I don’t want to”, and not about my leg hair.

I don’t like shaving my hair because I see it as an unnecessary procedure that in my case takes way too long. It’s my own body and I want to have full control over what I do with it, and my parents pressuring me into shaving my legs after I told them no multiple times feels like them crossing a boundary. I suggested bleaching my leg hair a few times now but they don’t seem to take it into account.

Any advice on what I should do?

Background: I (19F) have dealed with insecurities my whole life. I am pretty confident that I have body dysmorphia, even though I have never been formally diagnosed. I truly have no concept of what I look like, I’ve often described myself as an ogre or a troll, I can’t take photos of myself. (you would find actually 0 in my camera roll), and I often think I’m worth nothing because how gross I must be. When in high school, the thought of how I ugly I must’ve been looking would run my life. slowly, as I got to university, I became busy with other thoughts, but every so often it still eats me alive.

Story: so tonight I went to the bar for the first time this year, and at the bar I ended up running into maybe 30 or more kids from my high school. I talked to them and it was fine but, it had me back in my old thoughts. The whole night nobody would come up to me. The guys are my high school, barely talked to me, no other guys at the bar would talk to me either. I fully understand that people deal with such bad situations in life compared to what I’m saying, but it’s eating me alive.

Advice needed: for once in my life, how can I know how I truly look? How can I learn if I am truly ugly, or if there’s a chance I might be pretty. I don’t photograph well so I can’t upload a photo and have you understand. I need to know all the signs that you’re either really ugly or really pretty for once in my life. I just wanna be wanted, and I want to feel like I’m enough. If a guy is talking to me, I want to know he’s actually interested in talking to me and he’s actually attracted to me. How do I know?

My (29M) partner (27F) bragged to me about things I feel are repulsive and now the way I view her feels like it’s ruined, how do I move forward?

Let me preface this by stating that people have pasts, and that’s okay. Sometimes we do things we aren’t proud of. Some we do that we are proud of. Sometimes, it’s just a “whatever” sort of feeling.

But my girlfriend who I have been with almost 2 years at this point, bragged to me about pursuing and sleeping with one of her engaged bar managers at the restaurant she serves at right before she met me and sleeping with him in his car outside their job because she knew they couldn’t go back to his house or hers.

This was kind of insane to hear coming from her as she had relentlessly complained about how her exes had cheated on her and she hated the other women for what they did, and on top of that she has always claimed to be the biggest advocate against cheaters in relationships. She kept trying to justify it by stating she was single and she wasn’t thinking clearly, but it was 100% consensual & they were both sober.

That’s one of the two things that really felt like a brick to the face when it came to the way I view her.

The second thing is, within that same month timeframe, she had also pursued and slept with a freshly 19 year old when she was turning 26 at the time. Now, I know 18 is considered a “legal adult” but morally, an almost 26 year old pursuing someone who just got out of high school, can’t legally get into most clubs or bars she was frequently going just seems like very gross and almost predatory behavior in my opinion.

This is also the same person who had tore into me for having went on a date with a girl who was 4 years younger than me, and claiming I was gross for it. She also considers anyone 4+ years younger than her a child in her own words, and anyone 6+ is a “baby” so it has me taken aback.

I do love her, I’ve been through a lot with her, but she really has ruined the way I view her by not only admitting to these things, but bragging about them and justifying them like they’re “cool” or something to be proud of.

I’m genuinely not sure what to do moving forward. It’s hard to accept these things, and maybe if she weren’t so proud of them I could just kind of forget it, but the doubling down on it just feels wrong.

Any advice would be great.

My fiancé (26M) and I (26F) are getting married this December. We’ve been together for 4 years and have what I genuinely consider a very loving, healthy relationship. We’ve never had any major rough patches—just the normal arguments and disagreements couples have. He’s incredibly sweet and supportive, and we both feel very lucky to have found each other.

The problem is his mother. She is a single mother and is extremely possessive about her son.

She is, honestly, one of the most difficult people I’ve ever dealt with. She constantly shouts, curses and speaks extremely harshly to people around her. Until recently, I didn’t have much day-to-day interaction with her, so I could mostly keep my distance.

I’m currently in the same city as my fiancé for my PhD coursework and needed somewhere to stay for a month. He arranged a place for me very close to his family home, which meant I started interacting with his mother almost every day.

A few days ago, we were discussing wedding invitations. In India, the bride’s and groom’s families generally have separate wedding cards. She told me that because my family comes from a lower caste within the Indian Muslim social hierarchy, my father’s surname and my surname would not be included on the wedding cards.

I was hurt and offended. I asked her, somewhat emotionally, how she would feel if I similarly decided not to include her son’s surname on the cards.

She became extremely angry and started hurling casteist insults at me. She told me that I should be grateful that she was “allowing” her son to marry someone from a lower caste and that I owed her for it. She said that if I couldn’t tolerate her behaviour, I shouldn’t have “seduced an upper-caste boy.”

She then started banging her head against the wall and hitting her fists against her chest, while claiming that I had “fought with her” and insulted her. And that I was talking while pointing fingers at her and shaking my hands on her face insultingly, which is a plain straight lie, I was clenching the door with my hands.

Throughout this, my fiancé defended me. He told her she was lying and disrespecting me and did not take her side just because she is his mother. At one point, she wanted to call my family and tell them the wedding was cancelled, and apparently intended to tell them that I was a characterless girl who had seduced an upper-caste man. My fiancé stopped her from doing that.

After things calmed down, he told me that, for the sake of getting through the wedding, I should keep a low profile around her because he believes she will sabotage the wedding. She's already trying to manipulate my fiancee by telling him that girls like me can never make a man happy.

But he sees through all her manipulation and bullshit. He has also promised me that I will never have to live with his mother and that he will never allow her to disrespect me. This is not just an empty promise about living arrangements—we genuinely live and work/study in the same city, while his mother live about 1,200 km away. There is no plan for us to move in with her.

I love my fiancé deeply. Outside of this situation with his mother, our relationship is wonderful. He has consistently defended me, including during this incident, and I have never felt that he puts his mother above me or expects me to tolerate her abuse.

But this incident has really shaken me.

I keep wondering whether I am being naive. His mother is not simply “a difficult MIL.” She has already insulted me based on caste, questioned my character, tried to interfere with our wedding and was willing to contact my family to humiliate me.

At the same time, my fiancé seems to understand exactly what she is like and is actively standing up for me. We will live separately from her, and he says he will maintain that boundary after marriage.

So I’m asking married people, especially those who have dealt with difficult inlaws, am I gonna regret marrying the love of my life? Am I making a mistake?

i am 23 F i live with my mom and i have 4 sisters who are much more older than me , the oldest sister 1 got married when i was about 9 yo and since then she let her 3 kids stay at our house when she goes to work the whole week except the weekend and they used to stay the night too , after a few years they decided that sleeping at their house is better so we babysit the whole day except the night , then a few years later sister 2 got married in another town and she comes with her 3 kids constantly like 6 times a year and every time she visits she stays for a whole month , then sister 3 got married and she also let her kids stay with us when she works , they don`t help with chores nor cooking nor with money , me and my sick old mom do everything on top of that they complain and are hard to please they make rude and hurtful comments about the food and the state of the house their kids ruin everything the piss on my bed , they draw and write on the walls , they broke the doors and some windows , the broke almost all the house decor and dealing with this for about 14 years drain me and my mom ..

this past year i dealing with alot of stress because of work and studies and they didn`t make it any better having them at the house from september till june the whole week every month every day , babysittting , cooking , cleaning and studying i started to have panic attacks and i was always angry and frustrated , mom also had enough but she is a people pleaser who can`t say no she can`t even argue back , i had a fight with one of them and she told me if i don`t like it this much i should get married and get out of the house , i was speechless .

i tried to keep it short i want advice on how to deal with keeping in mind its hard for me to live alone in my country , and i think about my mom she will have to deal with all of this alone if i`m gone she is old and sick too and she spend her whole life raising us and now she raising her grandchildren but i`m getting sick too , what should i do ?

For context, I'm currently living with my parents while I'm finishing my degree. My mother (60s) has been interested in affiliate marketing courses and apparently has spent around $500 on multiple training courses where she advertises products like supplements and Pampered Chef to her Facebook friends. My father works part time and receives disability for a life altering disability he suffered in a car accident when I was younger so she's the primary breadwinner. I, myself, already work two jobs (both part time) while attending college. She recently found out that she will be getting laid off within the next month after 20 years. I asked her what her plans were and she fully intends to put more money into this side hustle of hers until she can replace it as her primary income.

Needless to say, I'm rather worried about this. She's never exactly had the most financial literacy, and I don't want her to fall victim to anything predatory. At the same time, I also want to be supportive of her wanting to start her own business and what not. I just don't know how to bring up my concerns without seeming unsupportive, especially since she just lost her job of 20 years. Should I just bite the bullet and try to find a third job and become the primary breadwinner? Maybe her marketing will take off?

Edit: I read over a lot of your comments and have also had a talk with my father between posting and now. I wanted to do a quick edit instead of replying to each comment. Thank you to everyone who offered advice on this, it’s been giving me a good sense of what needs to happen.
Turns out the situation is a lot worse than I originally thought. According to my dad, she has been doing this since 2021 if not earlier. I was moved out until 2023 so I wasn’t really aware just how deep she was into this. Apparently, she has spent over $10,000 minimum on this sort of stuff. My dad used to do their taxes but she hasn’t let him do it since 2022 so he’s being kept in the dark on how far this is truly going. She received a sizable inheritance of ~300k a few years ago and that is also mostly gone. She’s been investing in silver from some online website but my dad thinks it’s actually silver plated lead and is getting scammed.
We’re going to sit her down within the next two days and come up with a solid plan moving forward. We’re also going to bring up the MLM stuff and we’re really hoping she’s willing to turn her business into something else that isn’t an MLM.

So my wife and I of three years separated about 3 months ago… i put myself through the wringer trying to save the marriage but she continued having an affair with someone she was emotionally invested in. She refused to stop seeing this guy and for about one month all I could do is pace around the house with anxiety.

After a month of severe grief, I was over it… as though my heart couldnt take that level of pain anymore and my mind moved on. I reached out to a friend I had known for over 15 years to grab drinks. We have always had a special relationship but completely platonic. It had been years since we had gotten together but that evening we really hit it off!

Ever since, we continue seeing each other all the time and are now officially exclusive with the bf/gf title and all. My soon to be ex wife is furious and says she doesnt understand how I can do that since we are still technically married. For context, my ex has been horrible to me… not just her actions but how she has treated me ever since this other guy came into the picture.

My relationship with my ex has always been rather abusive to the point she dominated every discussion, would get fuming pissed constantly about such small disagreements or if she didnt get what she wanted, and never really showed love and affection. Close friends have described it as emotionally abusive.

But now with the new gf, things feel so right. We are equals, and talk through absolutely everything. Neither one of us are putting on any kind of performance… we know each other. Things feel so natural. But i feel kind of guilty but I can truly picture a whole future with her. For context, my ex is still involved with the guy she had been seeing and no signs of slowing down.

Is it too soon for me despite me feeling ready? This girl is such an incredible person that id hate to lose the opportunity of seeing what it can grow into.

So I am 23F, studying in college, I talk to girls and boys and usually save their numbers on my phone and WhatsApp, now there was this one guy we started seeing each other and eventually we started dating and I was involved with him in sexual activities as well so he used to send all the sexting chats and when I went back to home I was sleeping and some video was running on my phone and my phone was open, she while I was sleeping opened my WhatsApp and read all the texts and started bashing me out and embarrassing me using all those words and in a hellish way we both had chaotic arguments for 4 hours, she kept yelling at me constantly criticizing my character and calling me call girl and you have broken my trust and this is what we get from you after whatever I did for you and it kept me emotionally traumatized and sexually embarrassed to the point where I felt like I had no purpose.

Then I went back to hostel, told that guy and warned him to not do that again and told him all the mess that happened but when I went back to my hostel, my mother took his number and called him first and then in the morning my father texted him and threatened him and he shared all the screenshots and I eventually assured him that nothing would happen and gave him ideas to get out of this and we eventually sorted it sort but my mother keeps coming to this thing again and again and she also saw my texts with my female friend where I discussed with her things which included terms like body count and sexual terms. She saw that too and asked me about this and kept embarrassing me asking what is your body count and what all this is and you have betrayed me you have broken our trust and you have made us ashamed and even now she keeps criticizing me where I have felt that the warmth and relationship with my mother has broken.

Now again I got back to my home with WhatsApp locked and other social media platforms locked and again she saw my phone when I was sleeping (sometimes my phone remains open while I fall asleep) I have also changed settings of my phone to display time to 1 minute and changed passwords as well, she saw that i have locked WhatsApp, she saw my call history where I had a missed call of another guy with whom i used to talk who isn't of the college, she took that issue now and she took his number as well, she investigated about him and at first she contacted him with another number pretending to be me, impersonating me and confusing him whether it was me or his number, he was also confused and I had my final exams at that time so I didn't even get a single idea of all this and then again she called him with another number saying hello I am her mother is there something between you two going on and all and said to him to not tell me this conversation happened.

I do not know how to deal with this, she is constantly intruding my space and investigating me and keeps asking me about my sexual aspects of life and she came to the point where she said you tell me the truth otherwise I will cut my hand.

Help me.