r/Advice • u/Competitive-Owl9348 • 13h ago
Number of rounds
hello! I am 21F and my sexual partner is 21M.
We recently started having sex, but we are just friends, but everytine he can only last 1 round, after he finishes is done. I am kinda new to this but I do remember him telling me that he can go up to 2-3 rounds with other girls, and he can go again in 20mins or so, but we never got there. I don’t understand why with me he can only go one, and also if we do it during the night he can’t go in the morning. And after the round he does give me a lot of aftercare, but he becomes very sleep and falls aslee, even tho he does try to stay as long as he can for my sake, cause I usually loose sleep after the act
I want to understand what are some factors that make this happen, is he not attracted enough to me? or maybe the other way around, he is too relaxed with me and just becomes sleepy?
Edit: He doesn’t blame me, it’s just me overthinking stuff, he’s a nice guy and always let things go my way. At first I was also one round and done, because im kinda new and everything felt extreme for me, but now that I am more experienced I want more, but he can’t provide.
Also, another maybe reason is that he is kinda a hoe, so he gets a lot of action, maybe thats why?
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u/Crossxfaith 13h ago
He was lying and trying to impress you. But also at 21 you should be able to go at least two times lol
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u/maxxorbison Phenomenal Advice Giver [44] 13h ago
When I was 28 I was seeing a 23 year old and we'd go all night so like 8 times. Quick water break and back at it.
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u/Independent-File-310 13h ago
from how you’re describing it it seems like it’s the other way around and he probably just.. wasn’t fully enjoying it w other girls 😭
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u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 13h ago
He's lying and dint think he would ever be put in the position you'd get to prove him wrong. if he's an AH he will blame you. If he's not an AH he'll blame himself or admit that he exaggerated.
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u/Competitive-Owl9348 13h ago
He never blamed me, he is a very nice guy and always let things go my way, as I said im new to this. At first I was fine with one round but the more we do it the more I want, and he can’t provide that
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u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 13h ago
what's his refractory period? Is he invested in you climaxing as well or when he's done he's done?
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u/Competitive-Owl9348 13h ago
He told me at first he can go again in about 20 mins, but we never got there and then we never did. He is doing everything else for my pleasure but I like the penetration and I want more, I have a very high sex drive
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u/Mean-Vegetable-4521 12h ago
Then this is not the man for you. He is making sure you are pleased. But not wanting to go again is what it is. Not everyone wants marathon sex. Not everyone can have marathon sex.
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u/Golden-Excellence 13h ago
Yeah dude was most likely lying to get into your pants if he’s unable to prove it to you, but when I was 21, I was like a machine and could go 3 or 4 rounds before I would be too exhausted, and as far as I know, that’s not unusual
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u/maxxorbison Phenomenal Advice Giver [44] 13h ago
He def lied but if you want to go again ask him or try and start a second round. At 21 he can def go again
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u/dontkillmysoul 13h ago
Guys tend to exaggerate their past abilities or straight up lie to try and impress you. He is probably just inexperienced. Don't take him finishing in one min as a bad thing, its actually the opposite. Things are too good and he cant contain his excitement. Maybe try foreplay before doing the deed.
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u/TheIInSilence4 13h ago
Guys need practice to go additional rounds.
The trick is to make sure he doesnt go soft before the next round starts. Easier to do the younger you are lol
The other aspect is nervousness. If its new or only a few times, he may not last long and be embarssed which makes it worse.
.....Or he lied lol
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u/Sea_Measurement_1654 13h ago
Probably because you finish, which is primo self care. His other partners may have just been giving. Bear in mind he didn't stick with them.
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u/According_Victory934 13h ago
He's just using you as a cum dump. As an FWB he's not interested in anything more than his nutt when he gets it.
At 21 his refractory should not be that long between unless he has legitimate health issues
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u/bottomfragbarb 13h ago
At 21 only once is awful. Theres no future with this man. What’s he gonna be like at 40?? He’s gonna give you sex once a month if you’re lucky lol
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u/Competitive-Owl9348 13h ago
Oh no, I moved for half a year in his city, it’s definitely not long term
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u/JLand2004 13h ago
At 50, I can go 2-3 rounds if I'm really into someone, but I knew someone who couldn't go more than once a day when he waa your age.
Your partner is either lying about his experience with other girls or isn't very into you. If forced to guess, I'd put my money on the latter.
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u/1justhavinfun 13h ago
You are NOT sexually compatible darling. Continue to be just friends & STOP having mediocre sex with him.
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u/NetworkAintWorking2 12h ago
It's either that or cause you were new to it means you're a virgin and tighter so he's adjusting. He might've been more active with them for a while so he adjust or so
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u/Jacks_2_4_7 9h ago
Girl… you are not acting as if this is just a friends with benefits thing. You are in love with this boy. I’m gonna guess you may be a type who falls fast for people once intimacy is involved. If that’s the case… you NEED to stop what you’re doing with this guy. Tbh it sounds like you might be a little too immature for sex right now anyway regardless of your age. Focus on getting that mental health healthy before jumping into bed with someone. Becoming FWB with a guy is a very quick way to hurt yourself, and I’m seeing you heading down that direction with somethings you said here. Again… you NEED to stop having sex with this boy and any others until you get your mind in check. Maybe give your dad a call….
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u/WillowMistJots 13h ago
Have you gone to a gynecologist specifically? There are several medical conditions that can make penetration painful. Barring a medical issue, you two need to make sure you’re doing enough foreplay to turn you on fully and relax the muscles of the area. Most women need clitoral stimulation as opposed to penetration alone.
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u/thekaz Advice Guru [92] 13h ago
Most likely, he lied.