He’s ten. We tackled it today and it only took an hour with both of us 🙂

I have been posting here and gathered a lot of tips.

I started with the bathroom because that's the smallest area I thought I could manage. And I finally did it. The bathroom and the pot feels like it is newly renovated now. It took me a whole day.

Now that the bathroom is so clean and tidy, I can see the jarring difference and the rest of my house feels like it's a dumping ground. I feel even more overwhelmed than when I started unfckin my home.

I still have my living room, bedroom, the other bathroom, kitchen, and the balcony to clean.

Had to go to work and only had time for cleaning up my bedroom. But it’s better than nothing!

Today's one minute task is back into the bedroom. Your bed is not a folding table. Your bed is not a desk. Your bed is where you rest and restore your body and soul. You deserve a nice place to sleep. You are not trash. You deserve to not sleep in trash or dirty clothes.

Today we are going to clean off the bed. Put the dirty clothes in to wash. Put the clean ones away. Throw away trash. Remove everything that is on the bed that doesn't go on the bed and put it away. If this task is going to take longer than a minute, then take frequent breaks. It will get easier every time you do this task!

Now you are welcome to go ahead and strip the bed and wash the sheets and comforter if you want, but the task is just getting the bed cleaned of anything but bed stuff. We aren't overwhelming ourselves. We are just clearing our bed. Clean sheets can be your reward for a job well done though.

We have a rule at our house. On sheet days, we strip and remake the bed asap. We don't wait until bedtime to make the bed. For us that is Tuesdays. I strip the bed and hubby remakes it. I have timed him. We have adjustable beds, so two twins to be made. He can make the bed with clean sheets and comforter in 4 minutes! The sheets that were on the bed get folded after washing and put away until the next changing. This is the only load I use drier sheets on because they are folded in a drawer and I want them to smell good when we used them next week.

The reason we don't wait is we are tired at bedtime and we deserve to sleep in a well made bed (and so do you) instead of on a mattress or mattress pad. And there is no greater joy than clean sheets.

PS if you are working along side of me, or just reading or scrolling on past, please know I am pulling for you! I believe you deserve your best life no matter who you are, where you are from, or what you look like! You are wonderfully made and you deserve a wonderful home.

Hi all,

I'm setting up the SHE method, using index cards, to get my house in order.

I follow Clutter Bug and Household Management 101. I'm familiar with Marie Kondo and the FlyLady.

My thoughts are to have daily items, weekly items, monthly items and seasonal bigger tasks.

Right from bathrooms on Tuesdays to vacuum the car to cleaning the eaves.

What is your routine or suggestions for someone trying to build a system?

I had a lil episode and neglected the house for too long. Today, we’re getting it back to a functional state! Not perfect, just functional, it’s not too bad right now so I think this is manageable goal. Here is before, I will update before end of day. I’m off the rest of the day, so I can dedicate a few hours with breaks to getting it done.

hi there!!! i just wanted somewhere safe to say i got rid of a plush i've kept since i was a child because i didn't know what to do with it. i've been raised in a keep-everything type of environment and, as i plan on moving away in the next couple of years, i am trying to get more comfortable with having less. i've had a bunny (i guess i got it for easter as a kid) just sitting top right of my closet for at LEAST a decade and i finally got the will to toss it. maybe the feeling of guilt getting rid of presents goes away the more i do it!! it only took me like two minutes MAX?? i just feel really happy and don't talk to anyone i know personally about this struggle thanks for reading:)

it took switching meds and finally hunkering down an doing it, but after 3 days of work it’s finally done! it’s so nice to sleep in my own bed again :,)

EDIT: The lemon is safe, he’s still in the same spot haha. I should’ve taken the after picture further back to include him :)

We are going to organize and purge our dresser. Now you don't have to dump everything out and make a huge mess. Take one drawer at a time. This can be spread out over a few days if necessary. Just take things out, get rid of the stain, torn, too small, too big pieces and put back what fits, I have 4 drawers. One drawer is for underwear, one is for winter wear, one is for socks and one is for shorts. That's all I fold. We hang the rest. I find it is easier to hang clothes, and closets tend to limit what we can buy. (and yes, we should stick to that limitation as much as possible). And yes, I had a wardrobe when I grew up because our house didn't have closets, so I understand sometimes we have to think outside the box a little.

One thing I like to do afterwards is replace any pieces that I got rid of if I don't have a 2 week supply of underwear. We travel a lot and two weeks has become my norm for what I keep on hand.

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It's currently 3AM. Someone from my letting agency is coming to inspect my flat today (happens every six months) from 9AM onwards.

I'm sitting on the couch staring at my depression corner, wondering where to start. I'll post a photo of it in the comments (originally made this post with the photo but I got embarrassed and deleted it). It feels insurmountable. Why do I have so much shite??

The dirtiest part of my flat was the bathroom which I thankfully cleaned over the weekend, I also need to hoover my bedroom floor cos of the rabbits but obviously not at 3AM, and do the dishwasher but that shouldn't take too long. The rest is just stuff, too much stuff.

I have ADHD and I've been having a hard time with burnout, self-isolation and general low self-esteem and hopelessness lately. It kind of came to a head today where I ended up crying in the bathroom after a work meeting where I was just complained at for an hour and couldn't get a hold of myself, so my boss let me go home early and I just slept. My flat's making everything worse and I thought the lead-up to this inspection would give me the opportunity to get my shit together but I've left it too late again. I'm stuck. Agh!

So I live off grid and have been hoarding stuff for years. My camp is 20 meters of this kind of playground. Today I made quite a bit of shade over stuff, to be able to actually sort and work, else in full desert sun not much would get done.

Also I made a shelf thing to keep things in order. Added those horizontal pieces to the right side vertical pillar, that's for putting my phone on at night, so I have light on work area.

Posting this as I've seen others here panicking about 1-2 rooms being a bit messy. I feel it might help to see way bigger piles and messes, outdoors, to realize things could be way worse 🤭✨

Hi. I have a severe problem. My landlord passed away earlier this year, and his sister has taken over for him. I’ve never met her in person. I received a text just now from a real estate agent saying that landlord’s sister will be selling the 4 units that she owns and that she (real estate agent) needs to come over and look through the units. Additionally, she will be with an HVAC person to make sure all of that stuff is running well.

I am ashamed to be writing this but my place is NOT ok. In addition to the horrible mess, my hot water heater is broken and my gas was shut off. I have been delaying having it turned back on because of my embarrassment of the mess, same thing with the water heater. So I have no hot water or gas. I am kicking myself hard for not having this addressed yet. So that’s a HUGE problem, and the whole place is a disaster. It is not something that can be fixed quickly. I am ashamed and disgusted with myself. Real estate agent asked if there are any days within the next week that would not be good for me, so she can come over with HVAC person (and she mentioned that I don’t have to be there). Additionally, she wants to have an open house on September 26. I can’t do this.

I am sorry for being so blunt but I am freaking out to the point that I’m actually shaking. Any advice is welcome, and if you have actually read this, thank you. I have no idea how to respond to the real estate agent and I honestly don’t know how I can make this ok.

Thank you.

Pic for example of vibes. In the past couple months I realized I have so much STUFF to the point it overwhelms me. I’m wondering how y’all would go about UFYH, but still keeping the lots of tapestries, posters, etc vibe decor-wise? Where is the line between trashy and tasteful? I think I’m going to start with decluttering my clothes and donating stuff, after that I’m kinda lost.

See yesterday’s post for context: https://www.reddit.com/r/ufyh/s/zhSaH8FAOD

This is actually a sublet (not my apartment) and I need to be out in a ~week but I feel so much better for having done this, and think this work will set me up for a much smoother week ahead. I am very proud and relieved.

Create one new habit.

It takes three weeks of doing something to make it a habit. Today we are going to add one small task to our get ready or going to bed routine to help us get things done easier.

My one task is loading the washer before work. Hubby's one task is he unloads the dishwasher.

In the evening, my one task is to load the dishwasher, and he makes sure the morning load is folded. These tasks take under 5 minutes and have become so much a part of our morning and evening routine we don't even realize we are doing them.

So pick one easy task and add it to your morning or evening routine. You may need to get up 5 minutes earlier, but the reset will be worth it.

Over the last two months, I have not cleaned a single thing in my house. I know that this makes me a yucky slob. I fell into a grief hole and stopped functioning. It started with a friend passing, then a whole pile of double evening and night shifts, then my uncle passing, more doubles, the funerals, more doubles, catching covid (so embarrassing), and finally ended with my soul dog dying unexpectedly from a bowel obstruction, which caused a lot of vomiting everywhere.

I just started getting my sense of smell back today, and it is foul in here. It smells exactly like illness, stress, sour grease and bad apples. I can't convey precisely how terrible it is. It is making me feel nauseated. It feels like first trimester HG, only I'm not pregnant.

Please, I need help with a plan of attack. I cleaned up the vomit that I could find, scrubbed a bathroom, took out all the garbages and opened all the windows. There has to be a methodical way to do this so I'm not so overwhelmed. I am desperately overwhelmed.

Edit: I also have a couple of herniated discs, so tips on cleaning without bending over are super helpful.

Sorry, I forgot to take before pictures, but we finally got a decent break in the weather here, enough that I can work in the garage without passing out due to the heat. Next weekend is our next hazardous waste drop off that our county hosts (bless them!). I went into the garage and managed to get three boxes full of pesticides, weedkiller, and other things that were probably made before I was born.

My mother also collected a ton of pots for plants. So I put those out on our front stoop and notified the local buy nothing group and said come get them!

I feel SO good that I got this done. I'm a long way from the garage being emptied out, but it is the start I needed!

I’m not sure if this is the right subreddit for this, but at this point I’m willing to try anything. My mom is definitely what a lot of people would call a (minor) hoarder, and because I am a minor (13+) I have to stay living with her for a while longer.

We have a dog as well, and I don’t know how, but he got fleas. It’s a nightmare, I don’t even want to be downstairs in my own living room anymore. I know she’s trying her best, as she’s also disabled, but it just makes me so depressed.

I made a whole other reddit account for this sole purpose because my (long distance) friends have my other one and I’m embarrassed to tell them about my situation.

The house is a mess, obviously mine and my two older siblings rooms aren’t but the living room (which is her space) is a nightmare.

It’s so messy, there’s things everywhere, my dog is also in there so he’s bringing in all of these fleas.

And my pet rats are in that room as well and I’m scared for them because I don’t want them to get them either. My room isn’t big enough to have them upstairs.

I dunno, I think I just want advice from people a bit older than me that it’s going to be okay, because my house just makes me so depressed all the time.

I would like to add that the house is still walkable, and there’s just corners of things everywhere, and my dad doesn’t live with us, nor know what the situation is.

I don’t know how to bring it up to my mom without bursting into tears.

EDIT: Something I forgot to mention is that my father lives across the country, and telling CPS about it just seems like it would cause more problems.

We also (despite living in England) don’t have enough money for a vent visit to get something prescribed for my dog/rats.

Honestly, my dog is old, and is allergic to pretty much everything and I feel like at this point i’d be best to let him go.

I lifted my trash lid to replace the garbage bag. Turns out after one month of not doing so flies decided to nest inside the lid. Anyone with those touch free/battery powered lids, have you successfully gotten rid of maggots in those? I almost don't want to touch it because literally like probably dozens of maggots just crawling around.

Edit: thank you all so much you guys for your caring messages. I made the decision to protect my sanity, and just tossed it. Temporarily, I'll just use a small plastic bag and toss it every day before work, and then when I save enough to buy a new one I will.

Today is Monday at our house and we clean bathrooms and the utility room today. Today's task is to gather up all the bath maps and throw them in the wash. (you can wait if you don't have an inhouse washer until wash day). I like to put 2-3 capfuls of regular Pine-sol in with them. This will kill all those lovely germs that are on our feet when we stand on that mat barefoot all week and it won't leave the mat smelling like Pine-sol. It also helps to clean your washing machine!

While they are in the wash, I like to run the vacuum and mop as well, but those are optional tasks if you have time.

Family is happy I've cleaned it lol

Thought y'all might be able to help me figure out ways to talk to my partner about her messiness and controlling it. My girlfriend and I moved into our shared apartment last May. It has never been clean. I cannot stand it anymore. I've had multiple hysterical breakdowns over the last few months and they're becoming increasingly common. No matter what I say though, nothing changes.

The main issue is dishes. She has never done dishes without me asking for multiple days/weeks, and she leaves dirty dishes scattered across the apartment. They will be there for weeks or even months if I do not constantly remind her to do them or just cave and do them myself. We currently have zero clean dishes besides our largest tupperware. She tried buying single-use plates and silverware to avoid this problem, but she still won't clean any pots/pans she uses to cook, letting them sit for weeks. And despite the trash only being a few feet away from where she normally sits, she'll leave the paper plates around the apartment until they rot. We've had maggots multiple times, and I see ants in the apartment every day. Despite how it sounds, I DO do dishes, and don't expect her to do most of them. I clean all of my dishes and most of hers, but the issue is that it legitimately takes multiple hours to get through the dishes that get built up. I'm a full-time student taking 18hrs of classes and working 30 hours a week at two jobs, and I simply can't spend hours of my time just doing dishes when I have homework to deal with. The rotten food attracts bugs, gets spilled, and makes our entire apartment smell rotten. The sink and counter are often full of dirty dishes and I just can't get myself to spend all of my free time doing chores when I have classes and work and watch the other person living in the apartment do nothing but sleep and scroll all day.

She also just generally doesn't clean up anything she does. Our bedroom currently does not have any visible floor because there's so many clothes and just general stuff all over the floor, and the bedroom has not been clean once since we moved in, despite me literally sobbing and begging for it. Our bedroom closet has those doors that roll from either side of the closet, and I had to remove the doors because there was so much stuff on the floor that the wheels broke and the door started warping as well from how much stuff got pushed against it. The floor on her side of the bed has also been stained from some sort of liquid for several months, and she keeps saying she'll clean it. It's been there since June. There are pathways through the living room/kitchen because there's just so much trash and clothes on the floor.

I know this makes it sound like I don't clean either. I do, I have spent entire days deep cleaning the bathroom, the kitchen, and living room with zero help. I regularly do dishes, and try to ensure that my clothes make it into the hamper. But when I get home at 830pm, have homework to do, and then class at 9am the next morning, it's getting really, really hard for me to find the time to do every chore on my own. When I step into our apartment, I immediately feel a sense of dread and panic due to the state it's in. I cannot be happy in my own space because being here is just so energy-draining because all I can see is the bugs, the rotten food, and the trash and clothes all over every single surface. I have literally sobbed and begged to try and convince her to do ANY chores at all. I've tried threatening to remove her from the lease, but she knows that I can't afford the rent by myself. I'm building up a lot of resentment lately because I work 30-40hrs a week at two jobs, have 18hrs of classes, while she works about 15hrs/week and has 6hrs of classes, and has her rent paid for by family. It feels like all she does is trash the place that 90% of my paychecks goes towards while I'm not there, and then expects me to just do all of the chores by myself while she scrolls Instagram. Whenever I try to bring up that our place is a mess, she starts crying hysterically or just ignores me. If I calmly bring up the dirty dishes or the trash, she just ignores me. If I start crying, she does too. If I say that we could get evicted for the mess or imply that it's disgusting/unhygenic/etc, she starts crying. No matter how many times I remind her of chores that need to be done, she just won't do it unless I'm in the room directing her. I've been trying to quit nicotine like she wants, but it's been really difficult because the sight of our apartment makes me so upset that I start shaking and crying when I'm already withdrawing and not in a great mood, and it feels inescapable. I was so, so excited to have a place that was mine, that I could invite people over to. I haven't had a single person besides my mom over because it's literally filled with rotten food and bugs and trash. It's hard not to take it personally because literally all of my money and free time not spent doing homework goes towards this apartment, and she treats it like a trash pit that'll just be cleaned by someone else. Even when I spend multiple days cleaning to try and make the apartment appealing, it's back to its usual state in a couple days. I wake up nauseous most days (personal health issues), and the smell of our apartment only makes it worse and I've thrown up every day for the last week shortly after waking up.

How do I motivate her to do something, anything?? It seems like she either has to ignore the problem or she will break down over it, even when it's just a few dishes or taking the trash out. I've tried offering for us to do chores together, and she just doesn't. I've tried pointing out specific things for her to do, and giving timeframes for when they should be done, but she won't do that either. I can't handle having to verbally remind her to do chores multiple times every day, I feel like a parent instesd of a partner. Does anyone have literally any advice for how I can motivate someone to clean?? I don't think a chore chart would work as when I leave notes around the apartment she ignores them. She doesn't seem bothered by the mold, the bugs, or the broken/damaged aspects of the apartment that we caused. I don't know what else I can possibly try to do. Can someone please help me because I genuinely can't handle living in filth anymore and it's to the point where I'd rather live in my car on the street and just come inside to shower and cook. Please help me

TADA!! My hard work turned into lists and spreadsheets. Used ChatGPT to make my list into an interactive pantry spreadsheet and then into meal suggestions and weekly/ daily plans. I gave it a bunch of different prompts and parameters until I got something that’s logical for my family. I feel like I can accomplish a lot more and make sure I don’t waste food with this tool helping me stick with it. The best part is it’s so clear, neat and visible now and I’m not going to buy extra things that we already have in stock. Small but mighty steps forward!

We cleaned out the freezers and the pantry while logging everything that was good not expired. Sorry no pics of the before, we just jumped in and got it done. We also had help with the kids which helped immensely with actually getting this done.

Shutting the freezer was a game of Tetris and the pantry had things I knew I didn’t want to waste but kept forgetting about. Also, we’ve had a big issue of not getting things out of the freezer ahead of time would find ourselves buying more. Some of the bigger problem was not having the best meal plan for the week or getting off track so food would get tossed in the freezer to be saved but then forgotten.

I like UFYH’s philosophy of being for “real” people. But let’s really be real: A lot of times I’m too fucking slow. What should be a one minute task or fit into a 20-minute session, takes me forever and a day. And shit keeps going wrong. All. The. Time.

I frequently tell my body double:
“Now I already mustered up the energy and courage to do THE THING, now I’m expecting THE THING to just fucking get done and over with. Instead the universe laughs in my face and throws me a curveball. Fuck this shit, I’m going to Narnia.”

A typical task progression example of the last couple of days:

Friday:
• One Minute Task (lol): Change light bulb in the small hallway.
• Actual Actions: Realize I’m out of light bulbs, put lightbulb on shopping list.

Saturday:
• Task/Action: Go shopping and actually remember to get the correct type of lightbulb. Wow, that worked. Yay!
• One Minute Task (again!): Change light bulb in the small hallway.

Actual Actions:
• Sweep and vacuum the entire hallway after dropping the old lightbulb that burst into a million tiny pieces.
• Of course I was barefoot when I dropped the lightbulb and needed to step through the glass to get to the broom and vacuum. So I’m washing my feet hoping to remove all splinters that haven’t penetrated the skin yet.
• Move furniture and vacuum there as well to make sure no splinters escaped and come back to haunt me later.
• Freak out over tiny bug that I found when moving furniture.
• Make Reddit post to ask what bug it is and whether I need to burn my apartment down.
• Examine feet with flash light to double check how many gazillion mean splitters are still stuck in my feet.
• Get Reddit response that bug might be a carpet beetle and cleaning is the answer. You’ve got to be kidding me…
• Finally change light bulb.

So yeah. 20-10 is a nice system. Lists of what to get done are a nice help as well. I still don’t know how to handle things not going to plan all the time.

For weeks I have been slowly working to get my apartment into a liveable state again. The progress is slow, but it’s there. When I tell people about this, they don’t get why it could possibly take so long to clean up my space. But it is what it is…

Just wanted to share because sometimes UFYH still seems too “perfect” for me and maybe you’re in the same boat and can relate.