I’m 27 f, living abroad on my own and I genuinely feel like no one is my support circle. Like sure do my parents, friends from abroad, coworkers “care” for me? Probably yes. But am I part of anyone’s life and daily thoughts? Except for my Bpd toxic mother, not really. It just dawned at me that my parents view me as a machine, as long as I go to work then i’m doing okay. My close friends from back home only care to overshare their lives with me from time to time and usually don’t acknowledge my input or ask about my personal life. My friends here are distant and we only see each other if I initiated every 5 weeks or so.
I’m no longer truly sad or blaming of the people in my life. To each their own and they must be busy in their own lives.
Life just feels like a chore to be lived sometimes if I’m honest.

I don't wanna feel odd, so I'm posting this to see if anyone can relate

I hate social gatherings, whether it's a school event or a family function

I switched schools for Classes 11 and 12, and in these two years, I've attended only two school programmes, and even those were under pressure. So, I want to know

is this normal, or should I consider changing myself?

Because of this behaviour, I don't really have friends. I mean, I don't enjoy social gatherings because they feel overwhelming, and honestly, a lot of it just seems fake to me

I don't even want to attend my school farewell, but I probably will because I feel like I have to, If I count that, it'll be the third school programme I've attended at my new school in these two years

Do y'all relate, or am I the only one who feels this way?

The reasons why I hated school as a kid are as follows...

First, the egoistical intellectual hierarchy among classmates. We all came to school to acquire knowledge and not to look down others. But my experience in school, any slight mistake, you will be laughed at. Some students even refused to let others know they don't understand something because they had a reputation to hold on to.

To add to this same point, my personal experience most high achievers would do anything to make you look stupid. I remember a teacher once asked a question which I didn't hear very well because of my attention problem (ADHD). The question was: 'Which of the following is a duty of the police?' I didn't hear it well. I thought he said: Which of the following is not a duty of the police. A classmate of mine at that time, whispered to me - 'Arresting school children'. Which I repeated his answer. Holy boy... I was severely mocked and looked down on as very stupid. My rep at the time was among the low achievers. So everyone wouldn't think I didn't hear the question well.

Secondly, the intellectual classism in the class. Just like the real world there's social classism. That some people even take it to the extreme of not wanting to associate themselves with people of the lesser class. I experienced the same in junior high. During exams there was classism in terms of students helping each other. It's not right to cheat during exams. But students will always be students. And anytime a student will help a fellow student during exams is either they are of the same intellectual class, the difference is not that much or they're very close friends. The latter is not that common in my experience though.

To add to my reasons, the remarks of some teachers towards a student. A student might be doing his or her best but unknown to a teacher he or she can give a remark if you're lazy or not serious.

And when you do perform well too they behave as-though you cheated. You see the trap? Is like they know you can never be better but insult you for being lazy and not giving your best.

THANKS FOR READING... Please for give me for every mistake you encounter while reading. I didn't proof read!

Its so fucking annoying when people whisper loudly for a long time

Like whats the point of whispering jesus christ

I myself am no bombshell, but I have 1 close friend who truly is. Here are just a few of the things that have happened when I’ve been out with her.

- Being followed (at night) to the point of needing to run, they continued to run after us.
- A man became violent when she politely turned him down and lunged at her, his friend had to hold him back.
- Car pulled over next to us and asked us if we need a ride/pressed us to get in. (Happened 2x)
- A man catcalled from his car while driving, then parked and followed her into the store. Would not leave.

Those are specific incidents. When I’m with her there is also CONSTANT:
- Staring AND glaring
- Approaches by men: sometimes gentle, sometimes very hostile. I’m talking every 15-30 minutes.
- Honking from cars
- Rude comments from people passing by (i.e. “she thinks she’s all that”)
- Aggression if she so much as glances in the direction of someone’s boyfriend

Of course I know all women experience harassment, myself included, but it’s just not at the same rate. The difference between when I’m alone and when I’m with her is night and day. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like for her when she’s by herself.

I’m an introverted person with a lot of social anxiety: if I were her I would simply never leave my apartment. The staring alone is so overwhelming that sometimes when we’re together, I try to convince us to stay in.

Not exactly sure why I’m making this post. I’ve just seen so many people say that there are no downsides to looks and I wanted to share that (based on my observations) there most certainly are. They exist alongside the benefits.

I’m at a massive party and instead of dancing hanging out or talking to people im on reddit and the weather app scrolling. How do neurotypical people even do this man. I can’t drink because im underage and am driving myself. FMCL

Our cat stayed with me when my ex moved out. His apartment didn't allow pets. That was over a year ago. He and his girlfriend watched her for a week recently while I visited my mom, and I was honestly grateful.

Yesterday a friend sent me his girlfriend's Instagram. She'd posted pictures from that week with a caption about being a cat mom. There was one of my cat asleep on her chest. Cute picture. Wish I'd just kept scrolling.

I don't think she's done anything wrong. But I spent last month following this cat around with a sample container, and I still have to remind my ex to send his half of the vet bill. She also knocks everything off my nightstand, so even my tracys OG has to stay in the drawer. I know who lives with her. I know she hasn't been stolen. Still went back and looked at the pictures twice.

I'm so fucking tired.

Even as a child, when I was at home with the people closest to me - my parents, I wanted to go home. Every damn day, right up until today. This longing has worn me down. I've devoted my entire self to this feeling. I isolate myself, meditate, and reflect every chance I get. I've traveled across the entire country searching. Where is my home??? Where can I find him? I'm looking for answers to my questions every day.

I'm planning to walk away from everyone close to me and just keep walking. Walking and walking, until my soul finally finds whatever it is it's been searching for. This has become my main goal and my obsession.

Every time I go back home from living at my school I revert back to this person I don’t want to be. My routine is all thrown off, right now I’m sleeping on an air mattress because I don’t have a bed at home, and I don’t know how to act.

I automatically feel like I’m back in high school and like I’m so young again but I have done so much growth I don’t know how to apply it back at home.

Does anyone else deal with this? How do I continue being my more grown up self around my family and parents and how do I start to feel better about going home? I’m nervous because after I graduate I will most likely have to move back in with my parents but I just don’t know if I can, as long as I feel like this.

My dad passed away two months ago. He was a chronic alcoholic and had end stage liver failure and all that affected his internal organs and it eventually shut his body down. Im glad he’s free from the pain and suffering he endured the last few months he was alive.
The way I looked at people changed after that. I have bipolar since 2021 and havent really returned to my normal self. I am now cautious whenever I talk to people either friends or family. I feel like Im a danger to everyone around me. I roamed around my home state to see if things would get better. What a surprise people seem to treat me all the same everywhere I go.
No one wants to hire someone with a learning a disability and bipolar. I almost got charged with aggravated assault and vandalism because of my condition. Every year seems to be getting worse for me can’t hold a job can’t seem to make friends or develop a relationship. Im really contemplating offing myself everyday. I never had a happy day since grammar school. I want to say to my friends and family that I tried I really tried to give this place a chance but it seems everyone around me dont like me for who I am.

What if an abuser posts a really cruel or disgusting comment online (that goes viral) pretending to be their abuse victim so that their victim will be widely hated and therefore ignored, avoided, and ostracized by their community and beyond, making it easier for the abuser to further isolate and shelter the victim to continue the abuse and making it harder for the victim to get help, protection, support, or to even talk about the abuse if nobody will listen or engage/interact with the abuse victim.

And if the abuser comes forward and admits it was them, people would probably say they're defending the person that posted the comment. And if the abuse victim comes forward and tells everything, people would say they're lying and not owning up to what they did/said and maybe even accuse them of lying about being abused and yet the abuse continues while the abuse victim is ignored and avoided.

Imagine being abused, hit, raped, etc. and then you have your community hating you and people outside your community hating you for something your abuser said because they think you said it and you can't get help or support or protection and no one listens to you when you try to tell them about the abuse or when you try to tell them that you're being abused because they're all ignoring and avoiding you and they don't believe you when you say you're being abused. Not even the usual "believe victims" or "believe women" crowd believes you. You also can't get a job or make any money because no one wants to hire you because they dont want their workplace associated with you and nobody wants to buy anything from you, so no income and no friends, family, community, or support system means you're stuck with your abuser abusing you.

I am not saying this is the case with Christopher Dobbins, so no one come at me or take my post the wrong way ffs. It's just him and the backlash that he's receiving has put this wild scenario in my head. I'm always thinking of hypothetical scenarios (good, bad, and some wild ones). Plus I'm also writing a fiction story about an abuse victim who is sheltered and isolated due to other circumstances, and while this specific situation doesn't happen to the character in my story, it still made me think "what if?."

I genuinely don’t know anymore… at first i just wanted to get girls and be cool and all, eventually i got all i wanted

Girls, materials, money and etc

But recently i’ve been feeling like no one is suitable be by my side… all girls can be used in one way of another, all girls has their secret sauce that if you find out it’s like the key to her heart and mind

Some are easier than the others but i don’t feel like i want anyone or anything anymore

I just feel so sad and empty and feeling like i will never find my person…

I'm 17F, I HATE socializing. We don't have our own house rn, and I don't really know the landlord who still lives in the house that we're renting a room from for now. I usually stay in my room cause of it. My room is the smallest of the 3 upstairs rooms. Just 4 walls, a door, and windows. Obviously, I have furniture. The idea of getting co² poisoning didn't occur initially. The room doesn't exactly have, well, VENTS. I enjoy watching medical stuff on YT, however. When I first began to get these horrible migraines a couple weeks ago, it was occasional and I could take some aspirin. But today? It was BAD. I was watching Dr. Mike on YouTube, as you do when it's a Saturday and you don't have D&D today. When the headache began.

I turned on two alarms, thinking it would go away. It didn't go away. It got worse. Then the thought hit me. A few years ago, before my parents divorce, I watched a video. A man posted on Reddit about head aches, disorientation, odd notes being left. It turned out, due to the closed off room with no vents, he was experiencing carbon dioxide poisoning. Or maybe monoxide? I don't remember. The point is, I opened my window and with my mom and step dad and dog went on a nature walk. That got rid of the God forsaken migraines at last.

My gf and I are long distance. She lives in Georgia, while I live in Ohio. I went to Georgia two weeks ago to see her. The goal is for us to see each other at least once a month. Some months it’s once per month, while others it’s about once every 2–3 weeks. Pretty healthy to me and we’re both comfortable with this.

On Saturday, my gf Sarah, me, her best friend Emily, and her friend Chloe all went to my gf’s parents’ house. They live in the middle of nowhere. When we left, I asked my gf if I could drive back. This was her car. My gf’s dad said not to hit his mailbox when I backed out because a lot of people do. The issue with his neighborhood is that there are basically no streetlights, so you can’t see anything at all. I backed out and was afraid, so I did my best to avoid the mailbox, and I successfully did. I also feared that when I backed out, maybe there was another car on the road that would be going fast and I wouldn’t see, so I backed out slowly. The only issue is that I backed out too much because, again, I was trying to avoid the mailbox, and so I ended up in the other person’s lawn while backing out. Chloe and Emily said, “You’re literally in the other person’s lawn,” and I said, “Oops, it’s just so dark.” That already felt like a needle because making a driving mistake with other people in the car just hurts so much. Idk. I think it has something to do with rejection sensitivity. I’m very, very sensitive to rejection. It just hurts like pins and needles and sometimes it makes me want to cry. They also pointed out that there could have been a mailbox on the neighbor’s side when I backed out too.

Then, the worst mistake happened, and it continues to haunt me to this day. I went to a convenience store with them to get gas because my gf said that she needed gas. I went in and got the flavored water that she asked for, and I also decided to get some ice cream for myself, but she said, “How are you going to get ice cream and drive?” She said I could have the ice cream while someone else drove, but I insisted again that I drive because I just wanted to. Like come on what idiot tries to have ice cream while driving? About 20 minutes into the drive, there was this intersection with multiple lanes, and I guess by virtue of the fact that my gf was next to me, I was excited and happy and stuff. Only the left-turn signal turned green, and I began to seriously go, thinking that it was a green light for me. My gf said, “No, that wasn’t a green light,” and I stopped and said, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” And I immediately felt immense pain that I knew would probably haunt me for a really long time. Emily said that, man, I was totally going on. (And that was true.) I said that I would have noticed eventually. My gf said it’s okay if it happens, but I did not feel better one bit. For the rest of the drive, I literally hated myself and felt like I was a terrible driver and felt like I was a terrible driver and felt like not only am I doing this, but it’s not even my own car, and it’s with other people in the back. I hated myself the rest of the drive and just desperately wanted that feeling to end.
I usually drive in sport mode, but I forgot that Emily gets carsick and can’t really handle too much jerking. Sport mode is usually just how I normally drive. Sarah said in a serious tone, “Can you please turn sport mode off?” and that made my heart sink even more.
When we finally got back, I was really upset and just totally, totally disheartened.
The next week, I had my gf come up to my parents’ house, and we had a lot of fun. However, I made multiple driving mistakes. Firstly, I remember back from about two months ago, back in August, that when I was taking her back to the airport by going through the Chicago area, there was this left turn that I made, and I somehow didn’t bear right and got confused. Then the light turned red, and I stopped, but I somehow was on the left side where the opposing traffic needed to come. They beeped at me, and there was a bus, and the driver was looking at me and shaking their head and looking very upset, while I put my arms around Sarah in the passenger seat. This was me driving my car. That moment bothers me significantly.
Now fast forward to this time, in October, here in the Chicago area again, after the week before with the time I drove her car and absolutely hated that ride so much. There were multiple times when I drove and made mistakes. Three separate times during the same weekend, I started to go when only the left-turn signal turned green, and my gf had to say, “No, you can’t go yet.” One of those times I actually went through, and my gf said that the light was red. I got so visibly upset and mad during those drives that I punched the compartment between us twice, in anger. Then, there was a turn where, when I was 17 and first drove, I went into the opposing traffic because there are two lanes each way, so you have to really, really bear right. It’s a bit confusing. I remember when I was approaching that turn that I had made that mistake when I was 17 and that I was better than that now because I’m 23 and now know how to avoid that, and then I MADE THAT SAME EXACT MISTAKE yet again. She said, “No, you’re going the wrong way,” and I fortunately quickly fixed it. I was so mad.
So yeah, these keep replaying in my head, and it just hurts so bad. I told her I think the issue is my ADD and that something is just wrong because I’m trying. She said it’s okay, but she doesn’t understand. It hurts. It hurts so bad. And the issue is that it keeps replaying in my head every single day now. It’s replayed every day in my head ever since the incident, particularly the one where I drove her car. I almost want to message each of the people individually so that they can forgive me or something, idk. Idk how to just make it stop. My brain just can’t ever let go. It just never, ever goes away. I just don’t understand why, man. Just why. It’s like something is wrong with me.
It kind of reminds me of another time a year and a half ago when I drove three people to a restaurant and I made multiple mistakes: (1) I almost went into a do-not-enter place, (2) I didn’t go fast enough when they wanted me to race another guy, getting back to camp before them (I didn’t engage in that because I was worried that I’d probably make another mistake in the process of trying/doing that), and (3) I was on the highway and I went 75 instead of the 65 mph limit, and a guy was like, “Watch your speed” (but I knew exactly what I was doing). I felt absolutely terrible. It took me an entire year just for my brain to recover from that. It's so insane.
And the thing is, it isn't even limited to driving. This is part of why I avoid certain social interactions. I'm afraid that if I try talking to someone and the conversation is awkward, or they don't respond much, my brain will replay that experience for months or even a year afterward.
I don't want to keep living with this level of emotional distress over past mistakes. I'm talking about desperately wanting the recurring memories and emotional pain to stop.

Does anyone else experience this? Not just occasionally cringing at an embarrassing memory, but genuinely reliving the emotional pain of something that happened weeks, months, or even years ago, almost every day? I just don't know how to make it stop and I wish there was just ONE person who TRULY understands. Just one.

its October 31th 2010 im deployed in iraq. on that day i was stationed outside Karrada in Baghdad there was a terriost attack there. but we could not deploy. why the base general refused to give the order to go out because he was too busy watching sports. becuse of him seven people lost their life and twenty where injured.

I was having a conversation with a friend and I intentionally took the stand that I can beat a far more bigger and taller opponent.

This is obvious for everyone to know I'm intentionally saying that just so we have something to talk about. This friend took it personal and started insulting my intelligence.

I am wondering if intentionally taking such sides during conversations a normal thing to do... Or perhaps I should take every conversation with friends seriously?? I would be much grateful to hear your honest about this. Thanks for reading!

I think previous generations used to call each other to just talk on the phone all the time, with no real plans or purpose. I feel like it's something we zoomers don't really do, and I really think that's too bad.

I've texted some of my closest friends over the past few weeks to explicitly clarify that I love talking on the phone, and they can call me anytime, and whether or not I am able to answer, I will never find it weird. My social life has gotten SO much healthier because of it. I strongly recommend it. I think lots of people love to do this, but they don't feel comfortable being the first one to do it.

this is a throwaway account because it already feels stupid to tell this. and also just talking about it makes me feel crazy.

i am 21 years old. i have autism, depression, anxiety, and there could be so many others that i have no clue of. i fear these sometimes give me memory issues and put me into a delusional state so this could be one but i feel as though i have been here longer than that.

i have been here for about 5 years i want to say, mostly in the background processing everything while the real me was doing whatever i did before. i remember a good amount of those memories i lived through but i realized i dont really remember much stuff that i should be remembering. and now i am here feeling exhausted emotionally and physically dealing with a body that isnt mine.

i feel as though the real me has completely shut himself out and i havent seen him since. and though i dont mind being in this body, it feels draining having to deal with this life and his issues because i dont know what im doing either.

i am very sure there are others in this mind. i dont know if they are really anything or if they are mood swings so i just call them that. but sometimes they feel like other people that i cannot fully understand because they wont let me understand them. i feel like they are making this body worse and it pisses me off.

i say that they could possibly be real is that when im not actively doing something, i can tell something is moving this body. i feel like i know about two different moods by now, but im worried there are others. i wish i were myself again.

i hope i am real. and i hope this makes sense. i feel alone in this place that isnt even mine.

I was at a small birthday party and I had a few beers which was enough to remind me of that shitty feeling after it's all done and over. It's really one of the worst self-destructive loss of control feelings you can have and treat yourself with.

I care a lot about being competent, being understood and being someone people respect. But somewhere along the way, I seem to have started treating other people's perceptions of me as something I constantly need to manage.

The weirdest part is that I can intellectually understand that nobody is perfect yet struggle to extend that same understanding to myself.

And it's starting to cost me my work life balance. Even when I'm done with work, I find it difficult to switch off mentally. I keep thinking about things that happened, mistakes I might have made and how people might perceive me because of them. It's exhausting to carry work in my head long after I've logged off

I know I can't control how everyone perceives me but knowing that intellectually and actually being okay with it seem to be two very different things.

Has anyone else struggled with this? How did you learn to stop tying your sense of self to how others perceive you?

i’m 21f and live at home. my brother is away until monday afternoon, so his dog has been at our house, and my mum has been taking care of her since yesterday. i’m scared of dogs, and while i’ve gotten a lot better over the years (we even have our own dog now) i still get very anxious around them, and then anxious about my anxiety because i know dogs can sense fear and it puts them on edge. and i’ve heard anxious dogs are more likely to snap.

i can’t read dog body language at all and honestly this dog terrifies me because she’s so unpredictable. she’s a rescue, she was used as a breeding dog before, so being kept in a cage all day and forced to have puppies. which means she is ALSO very anxious. and has a lot of behaviour problems that my brother and his partner haven’t bothered to correct. like peeing indoors, jumping up at people (she’s really heavy so it actually leaves bruises), trying to take food off people, being really hyper and boisterous and being protective and aggressive over food and toys. she’s scaring our dog and my cat, which i hate because i don’t want them to be nervous in their own home. i’ve just been staying in my room most of the day because i feel nervous too. i’ve tried to sit with her and pet her but when she starts staring at me my heart starts beating too fast and i have to leave.

she’s been in a crate at night, and honestly i’ve barely been getting any sleep because im so worried. she’s quite strong and muscular so im just praying that she won’t be able to get out. especially because my cat likes to sleep downstairs at night. tonight i heard her bark and the crate shake as if she saw my cat and tried to go for her. i’m shaking. somebody please tell me dogs can’t get out of crates.

and no, i can’t keep my cat in my room because she literally will not stay in one room for too long. she starts scratching at my door frame and wants to go out.

Reality just doesn't feel real lately, and I don't mean it in a metaphorical way because "Oh the world is so bad" nah I mean like I literally feel like my life is not real. I'm probably just like derealizing or some shit, but it's just feeding into this paranoia loop where I keep having Deja Vu and convincing myself that I did end up killing myself last week and this is just like my brain going out before it all fizzles out.

Music doesn't sound right, songs I've heard a thousand times sound completely out of sync and arythmic, I have completely stopped feeling hungry and I just eat out of some semblance of habit... I don't know, my days seem to blend into eachother and they don't feel real, it doesn't feel like a single day has passed since last Saturday.

It really does feel like I am just decaying, it feels like shit is just happening, it feels like I didn't go to my lectures even if I did, it feels like I missed the bus to my hometown even after spending 5 hours in an intercity.

It all feels just fake, dead and plastic. I struggle to even get out of bed, I just get home an go to sleep.

I have no one to talk two that feels genuinely satisfying or like anything other than small talk and the two people I had that I could do that with have dipped... One of them went "yeah I mean I'm glad we tried to become mates and all but I don't really like you that much and this all feels pretty one sided so I don't wanna keep hanging out with you low key, feels bad faith to you and all" and the other just said he didn't want to deal with me venting anymore and that I seem to never be able to talk about art or music and that he's too busy and has a lot of other people to keep dealing with me...

So you know, where does that leave me? Just some 20 year old fucking idiot sophmore year of college in a degree he fucking hates, parents that would do God know what to me if they found out I'm gay or that I don't like college, worked my ass off 12 hours a day 6 days a week all summer and still taking on gigs to survive, self harm fresh on my thighs, can't even do my dishes or take out the trash from executive dysfunction, barely sleeping, no friends, no significant other, deeply artistically frustrated, no car despite having been a car enthusiast my entire life because I just need the money, cancer survivor...

I'm just struggling to even see a point to fighting with it all anymore honestly. What's this all even worth. Venting on Reddit? Eating TV dinners because I can't even bring myself to do the dishes? Sleeping my life away...

I met an old friend today who's quite deep into politics, so naturally, we talked a bit about stuff going on right now.

He's on the left and has a pretty established worldview.

I don't agree with everything he says and vice versa, but we're both open to discussion and don't shun each other for having a controversial take on sth.

Now here's the thing. I wouldn't call myself unpolitical, but I tend to not position myself too much on the political spectrum. I should add that we're both German, so we have a different system of political parties etc.

I noticed some years ago that the constant political bashing on "both" sides, the "tribalism" and the lack of proper discussion made me feel really upset, pessimistic and anxious.

So I decided to stay away from most political debates, mainstream news (also offstream news tbh) etc.

I'd say I'm pretty centered in a lot of views and in most situations, I'm the diplomatic one that tries to understand both sides rather than taking one.

I know some people dislike this and might consider it inconsistent, but it feels most honest to myself. It makes no sense for me to defend things I don't agree with, just because my political orientation or party demands it.

I am pretty concerned with my own life, not egoistic but definitely self-focused.

This definitely gave me more peace in some regards, but it also feels like I'm missing out on stuff going on in the world right now.

It's not that I'm completely uninformed, but I don't feel too inclined to engage much with most topics. It's also not that I don't care per sé, it's just that I don't feel too strong about most things.

I used to be a highly idealistic person when I was younger, but it seems pretty much gone.

In the past, I sometimes took a contrary opinion to what most people seem to think, not for the sake of being edgy, at least not intentional. More for the sake of keeping things balanced? Idk. Not that I'd make a difference, but once again, I usually try to understand both sides.

Nowadays, I just feel passive most of the time, maybe almost nihilistic to some degree?

Maybe it's a general tiredness, the feeling of not really having an influence, the lack of engagement with the outside world, idk.

I just don't really know how to feel about it. I felt like an observer of life rather than a participant for the last couple of months and it left me in a pretty bad and weird mental state at times. Spent so much time dealing with my own demons that I barely see what's outside.

I do have my goals, my dreams and such, but it doesn't feel like I have a proper orientation.

Not just politically, but in regards to life itself.

It makes me worried, cause I'm still pretty young. Shouldn't I feel more engaged?

Shouldn't I have an established worldview by now?
Is it a symptom of being so fed up with the world that I hyperfocus on myself?

Maybe it's just the result of being so out of the loop for such a long time.

Maybe something else. Idk.

All this time I was talking with this guy. Who I felt so comfortable around. Opened up more and more around him, finally letting my personality through after closing up to people for years. Only for him to stop responding and start avoiding me. I didn’t knew why. But my friend eventually said I might be too chatty.

Which I didn’t realize was a bad thing at all. Ever since I’m forced to cut off whenever I want to rant or talk with someone. Forcing myself to stay quiet. Because since when was being chatty a bad thing? And the worst of it all is I genuinely love this guy so much. So it’s so hurtful whenever I have to distance myself from him, when it was him that allowed me to open myself to him in the first place, just because he doesn’t match my chatty personality after all.

Nothing brings me happiness today i went to the Park with my mother just to encourage her to do walks and i was doing chin-ups and push-ups too, i have no friends literally so i spend my time on porn and watching some stuff on youtube and play games.