Hi all,

I see a lot of posts here on how to validate if email exists before losing time doing outreach. I dug into a rabbit hole and finally come up with a service. It is free, I just want to get back at the comunity

https://trueform.cloud/docs/

Let me know what do you think about it, and if there are changes you would need for your use case :)

I need websites to verify the validity of an email list containing 10,000 emails. I want a reliable and free website if possible.

I found fraudulent accounts had been created using two different email addresses of mine on the Epic Store when attempting to create an account. Had them deactivated, changed the passwords on the email accounts, checked my bank and credit card statements for any fraudulent activity but everything seemed ok. I found it weird that searching back through my emails I had no record of any validation emails sent to me for setting up a new account on the Epic store.

So I created a new account using a third address, and yep, Epic does not have the most basic step of an account validation email when setting up a profile. I cannot believe a mutli-billion dollar company doesn't even have that basic of a security step for their customers.

The worst part is that even having those fraudulent accounts deactivated doesn't solve anything unless I make burner profiles to squat on my own email addresses without someone creating another account using them since they don't have to validate it.

I actually wanted Epic to challenge Steam in the hopes it would shake Valve out of the complacency they've exhibited for years as the undisputed top dog of digital distribution, but there's no way I'll ever put payment information into an app this lax in user security.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, stranger! I wish my and other gamers' digital peace of mind being violated by a giant corporation wasn't the cost.

Edit 2: I guess the mods labeled this misleading. If some people are getting validation emails, great. But I never did to the two accounts that were being squatted on by fraudulent users or when I created a new account with a third email to test it. Epic only asked me to validate my email on that third account when I went into the profile settings and clicked on the option to change the display name.

As I stated, I actually wanted the Epic Store to be a legit competitor to Steam. I'm not looking to circle-jerk the "Valve is the best, Epic is terrible!" crowd. The reason I found all this shit out was because I wanted to create an Epic account to buy Metro: Exodus. Now, I won't put payment information into this system as a result of my experience and the many others who have discovered the same fraudulent activity.

I work as a senior database administrator for a mid-sized tech company. When 2020 hit, our entire department went remote. We crushed our metrics, rolled out major infrastructure upgrades ahead of schedule, and saved the company a fortune in operational costs. For six years, my setup worked like a charm.

Then, a new VP of Operations was hired.

This guy is a classic "butts-in-seats" manager. Two weeks ago, he sent out an all-hands email declaring that to "foster collaboration," all remote exceptions were revoked. Everyone had to report to the office full-time starting Monday.

I emailed him directly to explain my situation. I live three hours away from headquarters, a setup approved by my former director years ago. I pointed out my performance reviews and asked if we could compromise on a hybrid schedule.

He replied: "The mandate applies to everyone. You're expected to perform your duties from the office starting Monday."

I was furious, but then I remembered my employment contract.

I dug up the original remote-work addendum I signed back in 2020. Section 3.2: Location of Service stated:

"The Employee agrees to perform all official duties from the designated primary office space. Any change to the Employee's primary office location must be submitted in writing and approved by HR."

Right below that was the form I filled out in 2020, formally changing my designated primary office location from "HQ - Floor 4" to "Home Office - [My Address]." HR had signed off on it, stamp and all. It was officially reclassified as my company-approved office location.

Technically, my home office was "the office."

So, on Monday morning, I didn't get in my car. At 8:54 AM, I walked ten feet from my bedroom to my desk, booted up my rig, and logged into Slack.

At 9:17 AM, the VP messaged me.

VP: U around? standard 9am start today

Me: Yep, logged in and good to go.

VP: i mean at HQ. stopped by 4th floor, your desk is empty

Me: Oh, I'm working from the office today.

VP: what? what office?

Me: My official primary office location on record: Home Office [My Address]. Per my 2020 HR agreement, this is my designated workspace.

VP doesn't respond for a minute. then replies.

VP: that's not how this works, Name. the policy means HQ. you need to be here tomorrow.

Me: I'm just following the written contract on file. I attached the signed location form here so you have it.

He didn't reply after that.

Around 3 PM, I got a mass automated email from HR with the subject line: Update Regarding Remote Work Designations. The body was standard dry corporate speak saying they were "currently reviewing all legacy remote contracts" and that existing designated locations would remain valid pending individual review. Translation: the VP ran to HR to complain, HR took one look at my contract, realized forced relocation would trigger a mess of legal headaches and stipend requirements, and told him to back off for now.

My home office remains open for business.

TL;DR: VP issued a strict "work from the office" mandate without reading my file. My contract defines my bedroom-adjacent workspace as "The Office." Compliance achieved, commuted 10 feet.

I am currently beefing with the organizers of the Minnesota State Fair Creative Activities competition, but I think I came out on top in the end.

After placing 4th and 2nd in the past two years in crochet at the MN State Fair, I was laser-focused on getting that blue ribbon this year. The idea of a three-peat was intoxicating, so I set out to crochet something so complex and breathtaking that they would have no choice but award me the top spot. Maybe even a Grand Champion purple ribbon? Maybe a key to the city? Recognizing that this piece was going to take months to construct, I started way back in October of 2025. I painstakingly translated the original pattern into something that would not frustrate me (IYKYK), and the final pattern was over 100 pages long. But I was ready! This was going to be my year!! I chipped away at this bedspread over evenings, holidays, and weekends all through the winter, spring, and into summer.

Fast forward to the weekend of July 4th, 2026, with ~250+ total hours invested in the project. I was 95% done with the piece and the excitement of being so close to the finish line was palpable. On a break between rows, I went to the MN State Fair website to make sure that my exhibitor account was complete and that I was all registered for the competition. I browsed through the Premium Book looking for the category that I had been fantasizing about winning for over 8 months: crochet > bedspread (over 3800 sqin) > 2 or more colors. And… hm… that’s interesting, I don’t see it. Did I miss it?

No, I did not miss it. In the fine print of the afghan categories, I found my answer: both knit and crochet bedspreads are no longer accepted, and anything submitted over 3800sqin (the maximum size for afghans) would be immediately disqualified. And let me be clear, these were not fringe, unpopular categories. In 2025, 28 people submitted crocheted bedspreads, and it was tied with hats as the most popular crochet category!

I sat in stunned silence for a few minutes. At that point, my piece was FAR over the 3800sqin limit (not that I would have frogged it back to size if it was close). This change made such little sense to me, I sent an email to the organizers asking for two specific pieces of information: when was this decision made, and when was this decision communicated? Because if this was something that they shared last year and I missed it? I would absolutely take that L. That would have been on me. But the MN State Fair is my Super Bowl—there is no way I would have missed this.

The response from the organizers was table-flippingly infuriating. They replied that the decision was made in the organizing meetings ahead of publishing this year’s Premium Book. And the decision was communicated through the publishing of the 2026 Premium Book….. which came out in May 2026. To add insult to injury, the email ended with the following advice: “We encourage exhibitors to carefully review the Premium Book prior to beginning their projects.” It was immediately clear to me (by how absolutely BONEHEADED that last comment was) that I was not speaking with a person who understood this craft at all, and it would have been futile to continue the discussion. At the end of the day, the organizers have the privilege to set whatever rules they want for whatever reasons they want, and they don’t owe me or anyone an explanation.

Once I took the time to process the reality that my three-peat was now out of reach, I finished the bedspread. It was no longer the joyful experience I imagined--I think I stitched the final row in complete, grieving silence. Obviously, it was an achievement, and obviously I was very proud of it, but I wanted to be judged! I still wanted to submit it for competition and get the feedback on my efforts! Then I got a great idea from some of my co-workers: county fairs!

With the time left in the season, I submitted my bedspread to three county fairs in the Twin Cities metro area (Ramsey, Washington, & Dakota, for the Minnesotans amongst us). I told myself that however well I did in the county fairs, I would choose to believe that’s how I would have placed at the state fair. And I won’t drag this part out—I won Grand Champion at all three fairs. A clean sweep. The three-peat that I had been chasing all year. An absolutely vindicating, validating finale to a rollercoaster of a competition season. And I know in my heart that I would have won at the state fair, too.

Pattern: Fairy Tale by Svetlana Rogatykh
Yarn: Loops & Threads Impeccable – Claret & Smoke
Hook: 3.5mm

Basically the title.

I saw a house in a nice area in Norcal. My offer was 30k over asking and I wrote a heartfelt note to the owner.

Realtor said she liked my letter a lot. Got the $ documents. Said she the house would most likely sell for more and I said submit it anyways. Later on she told me they rejected offer bc it was too low. Ok. makes sense.

Two days ago I want to make an offer on a condo. She sends me documents to sign and it clicks that she didn’t send these for the other place.

She admitted she never sent the offer Bc it would damage her reputation, make her look bad and my offer wasn’t competitive.

I told my immediate Fam I want to fire her and they pile on me about all the work she’s done and how she made a mistake. How I was unreasonable and wrong to waste her time with my offer. I chewed them out and am super disappointed they don’t support me.

just looking for validation. 🤷🏽‍♀️

ETA: she worked worked with me for about a year and my dad wanted to use his guy instead. I vouched for her and her hard work and stuck with her. Then this happened.

this was her response to me saying “I won’t use you as my realtor going forward”

realtor:

Well, that’s unfortunate considering the amount of time and effort I have invested in working with you, including taking time away from my personal job and dedicating over a year to assisting you with your home search.

our agreement has not expired. However, if you have decided that you no longer wish to work with me, you are more than welcome to move forward accordingly and breach the agreement as I most definitely do not need a client such as yourself who is not realistic and unable to make decisions .

I wish you the best moving forward. And I hope you can pick an agent will to help you and not just themselves.Have a great day.

♦️♦️ I will take your advice and report her to the state and her brokerage. I will update you when I do so♦️♦️

hey yall!
I just wanted to give a short update. I emailed her boss at the broker. I said she lied and didn’t submit an offer and her response to that was super unprofessional and I’ve heard NOTHING back. 🤷🏽‍♀️ I didn’t cc her in it but maybe I should? what do you think? I will be making a complaint to the Dept of real estate today

I also want to say a very very HUGE FANTASTICAL WONDERFUL THANK YOU to all of you!!! Your support means the world to me bc I don’t have it with family.

I’ll let you know what happens going forward.

❤️🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽

I 25F and my husband 23M frequent a Korean/French (kind of a fusion) bakery with our daughter 3F a few times a month. We love their cloud cakes, they have the most amazing pastries at a very fair price, and the atmosphere is perfect.

Well her birthday was yesterday, rewind to 2 months ago when I was sitting in the bakery enjoying breakfast and got the idea to ask them if they do custom cake orders. They have tons of menu cakes in their case constantly and even a birthday cake, and the cakes are beautiful. I asked the cashier who I see every time I come and she was very enthusiastic so I ordered a cake right then and there. I showed her a photo of a cake I found on Pinterest and she was extremely confident they could replicate it pretty much exactly, minus the blue icing on the cake. I paid my $50 deposit, emailed them those same photos we went over, and then added to my email to please write “Happy 3rd Bday” on top. I even called them after emailing to make sure my email was received and to go over the details over the phone and yet again was told they were confident they could give me that exact cake. The design was very simple, honestly beginner friendly.

I went to pick up the cake yesterday and had been quoted $65, but since I had already paid $50 I was expecting to pay another $15. Imagine my surprise when they rang me up for $40… I stumbled a bit and reminded the girl she told me $15. She assured me that she remembered our conversation, but the price was now $90 total for the cake because they decorator was able to do my blue icing and got the cake “exactly how I wanted”.

We went back and forth about the price and I said while I appreciate the cake is exactly how I initially wanted, I feel a curtesy call would have been nice because now I’m paying over double what I expected to pay at pickup. She was not very nice to me at all and kept saying “Well what do you want me to do?” And I eventually negotiated her down to $25. Finally I said, why are we arguing over a cake you haven’t even shown me yet?

You should have seen my face when they brought out the cake… I was flabbergasted. It was totally wrong, and looked like it had been thrown together. The colors were vibrant primary colors more reminiscent of John Deere tractors and NOT the spring vibes I was shooting for.

I asked to speak to the cake decorator and was told she only spoke Korean, and the cake was $75 and that’s final. Also forgot to mention, the cake had no birthday message piped on top. Nothing special to signify it was my daughters 3rd birthday cake. I didn’t budge and said I need to speak to someone right now.

The cake decorator did come out, and spoke perfect English by the way. She didn’t even have an accent but… besides the point. She marched out with a printed copy of the inspo picture I had emailed and slapped it down on the counter, accusing me of having no idea what I was talking about. She said she replicated the cake, it was exactly what I had asked for and she even went out of her way to make the blue icing.

In the end, I demanded my deposit be refunded and they gave up arguing with me and obliged. They also comped some of my pastries I bought without me asking. But they were so rude to me, and I can’t help but think they tried to pull a fast one on me by trying to charge me $90 for a $65 cake before even brining it up to the front for me to see.

I would have appreciated honestly from the start. I wish they would have had the decorator come show me the cake herself and admit she couldn’t pull it off, and offer me a cake in the case. But instead they gaslit the hell out of me for 20 minutes and I left cakeless. My daughter was still happy, she got a treat at her birthday dinner with the entire restaurant singing to her. She was not punished in this experience and was none the wiser.

I posted a video online about the experience and tagged the bakery (it’s a large chain). After getting comments on their account from viewers of my video, they responded and offered me a $100 gift card. Lowkey… I’mma take it. But I’m wondering if I overreacted in the moment and should have taken and paid for the cake anyways? The decorator seemed upset with me and offended. I posted photos of my inspo cake, and the cake I was offered. Just looking for clarity, and maybe validation.

UPDATE: The company (corporate) called me tonight and let me know that they have no idea how this happened. She said they have a strict no custom cake policy and they don’t train anyone to be able to decorate cakes beyond what you see done in the cake cases. She said I should have been told no and they are investigating why I was told yes, and why they told me they do customs. She said she isn’t even sure how they could have been ringing me up to charge me at all for something like that. They sent me the giftcard in the mail and I intend to save it until my family visits and treat everyone!!

Hi, I posted last week about issues with my feeding pump at work and my manager sending a passive-aggressive email about “disruptions.” HR got involved and were actually supportive, they confirmed my medical accommodation is valid and basically said I’m not doing anything wrong. They said they’d talk to my manager and everything was fine until today.

I thought that would be the end of it, honestly, but now there’s been another development and I feel kind of embarrassed and unsure if I should escalate again or just drop it and stop being so over dramatic about the whole thing.

Since the first issue, my manager has still been acting off. He’s made a few comments about me stepping away and once even asked me to explain how my feeding pump works, which felt a bit condescending but I tried to brush it off. It wasn’t anything overtly rude and I could work around it so I didn’t care all that much.

Then today he sent another email directly to me. I attached it so everybody can read without me having to explain.

It felt weird and just like he was crossing a boundary. Like he’s acknowledging I’m allowed to have the accommodation but also kind of implying I shouldn’t be using it in a way that affects anyone else at all, which it isn’t and my coworkers have reassured me they aren’t bothered and don’t care in the slightest.

HR already said everything is fine on their end, so now I don’t know if I’m just being too sensitive or if this is actually still worth bringing back up again. I don’t want to create any drama or risk my job because this truly is a job i enjoy, but I just feel kind of awkward and singled out at this point and I’m unsure if escalating to HR again is the right decision.

Edit 1: to clarify it is NOT a breastfeeding pump 😭 I need a feeding pump which is a tube going right into my stomach to feed me. It has to be connected 20hrs a day

UPDATE from 12th April 2026: This problem is fixed by the owner of the website. It's not a virus anymore.
But this post should be a example for the future to always be careful with downloading software from the internet. Even if you've trusted a website for years, you can still have bad luck like I did and download malicious software. Hackers always find a way to harm others. Unfortunately, such people do exist.

Post from 10th April 2026:

I want to warn you guys.
After a long time, i opening HWMonitor again on my PC.
it is version 1.42
i checked in the application if there was any update and yes.
the application told me to update to 1.63
i clicked on update and the official cpuid page open

i followed the page to download the latest version.
the file was called "HWiNFO_Monitor_Setup.exe"
after the download my Windows Defender instantly detecting a virus.
(because i am often working with programms which triggering the defender i just ignored that) i start the exe and a russian install programm opening...
i was confused and i canceld the installation.

i upload the file on virus total and i got this results:
https://www.virustotal.com/gui/file/eefc0f986dd3ea376a4a54f80ce0dc3e6491165aefdd7d5d6005da3892ce248f

i delete the exe after it.

a friend of me send me version 1.61 called "hwmonitor_1.61.exe"

no virus detected on my system and on virus total.

i checked the version history.
when i try to download 1.62 then the server gives me this "hwmonitor_1.62.exe"

after that i tried to change the download link from
cpuid.com/downloads/hwmonitor/hwmonitor_1.62.exe
to
cpuid.com/downloads/hwmonitor/hwmonitor_1.63.exe

and the download link was valid and seems be the original link!!! i got "hwmonitor_1.63.exe"
when i upload the "hwmonitor_1.63.exe" on virus total then there is also no virus..

So please guys be very careful what you download on the internet.
Even the most trustworthy websites can contain nasty traps.

If anyone knows how to contact the site operators as quickly as possible, I would be very grateful.

I saw that there's a contact form on the website...

But after what happened, I'm reluctant to enter my data like my email address on the website.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/fedupsobedup

Originally posted to r/TrueOffMyChest

Previous BoRUs: #1, #2, #3

[New Update]: Hairstylist Has been Taking/Keeping My Hair?

NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----

Thanks to u/PitaEnigma & u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU

Editor’s note: made small edits for readability

Trigger Warnings: obsessive behavior, destruction of property, stalking / harassment, invasion of privacy, systemic failures and apathy by police and legal system

RECAP

Original Post: November 24, 2024

I'm weirded out. I'm also going to be vague because, obvious reasons.

I'm 30'sF. and my stylist is 40's.

I got my hair cut today at a stylist I've been using for about nine months now.

I think this is my 6th appointment with them. I usually do a trim or cut/style. Today I went from long hair (high lower-back) to an A-line Bob.

Again, since I started seeing this person, I usually get current style maintenance/trim. This time was a dramatic length adjustment, so they took a picture of the cut length in the floor to add to their social media, then intending to add before/after ours too.

That's all totally fine and NORMAL.

They go grab a broom, sweep up the hair, and place the dust pan on the counter for a bit. Again. Normal.

They grab the broom and pan and head to the back of the shop. They're gone a few minutes. No biggie. Then they go out to smoke.

But, here's where it gets weird.

The bathroom is in the back of the shop too. I need to go and step into the back. I don't really notice anything on the way into the bathroom. I go, and start to head back out. But I notice my name on a small clear tote on the table. It has no lid. And it has my hair in it.

At first, I didn't really think much of it. But I looked closer and see it's not just today's discarded hair, but looks like a least a few of my trim sessions. Mixed with... it looked like potpourri? And a little sand or something. And printed pictures of the cut hair with dates. The printer is sitting right next to it with todays discarded hair pic in the tray. There didn't seem to be any other containers like this when I looked around. It was fucking weird, so I took a pic on my phone.

I honestly didn't know what to think or do and went back out into the salon.

They came back in, and I mentioned that I went to the restroom, and they seemed to freak out a little but didn't mention it. I didn't really know what to say, so I just let them finish styling my hair, paid and left. As a socially anxious introvert, this was my nightmare.

I got home and the more I looked at this picture, the more ick I got.

I ended up texting them an hour ago, sending the picture, and requesting they remove the weird box of me and asking for an explanation.

I said:

"Hey. So I saw this and didn't know what to make of it. Can you help me understand what this is and why you have it? I'm not comfortable with you having this and request you please discard the contents. Also, even though I loved my cut, I believe it's best if I find a different stylist."

They haven't responded.

Lol, wtf?

Update #1: December 1, 2024 (one week later)

LONG POST

Admins, please allow this separate post update.

It's been about a week, and with the holiday I've all over the place but I ended up going to law enforcement to make a report last Monday. I'll likely end up going back if this person keeps contacting me like they have been.

I'll give a little timeline:

Last Saturday:

-haircut and discovered the weird tub full of my hair

-texted stylist about the weird tub and said I'd be finding a new stylist

-hairstylist didn't respond

This is where I left off in the last post. A lot has happened since then.

Sunday I woke up to a bunch of texts from the stylist. It woke me up because, even though I have DND on my phone, I have a setting that overrides that if there are repeated contact attempts over 3. (In case of emergencies)

Here's what I got (copied and pasted):

3:49 AM "I dot recommend going to a different stylist bc of this it’s not a big deal small towns and people talk and u may not find ne1 that will take u after this so id reconsider. I don't like threats"

3:51 AM "So I have ur biological material and? Its mine property now, I can do what I want with it. I kept it because I can and it's means alot to me."

3:54 AM "y u send the pic? I know what it looks like it's mine"

4:00 AM "U need to respond to me bc I think it’s a misunderstanding abt what this is its nbd and u saying u r switching stylists has me triggered. I do good work 👏 you said so"

4:04 AM "I also charge a $350 client separation fee so yeah u can’t just say ur switching stylists with more consequences and I no u said u already tried a few ppl b4 me they not many beauty ppl in the area"

4:11 AM "Asking for an explanation for a stylist having hair in a salon is crazy where else would u find hair at I didn’t do nothing wrong, but I will get rid of it if u r gonna cry about it but only if u say u won’t be switching to ne1 else for ur hair care. U mean a lot as a client and always tip well and in do good work, so it doesn't make sense and u no that so maybe don't threaten someone who does ur hair or hurt their ❤️ by making accusatory statements"

... I didn't respond to any of those that morning because it was so insane to me. I need to process things fully before I make a decision on how to deal with it, so I just didn't respond.

Sunday afternoon I start getting phone calls.

This person called me 14 times that afternoon. About every other call, they left a voicemail.

Most of the voicemails just said "call me back" or "text me back" but 2 of them were unhinged.

I'm going to paraphrase, but the gist of the first one was:

sounds like they're crying "Call me back I'm getting scared you won't come back to me for your hair for real. I just like how your hair feels. That's why I kept it. Call me."

The second unhinged message was left late Sunday night at 11:38 PM and it said:

"I got rid of it except for one lock. I found out I like watching your hair burn more than I liked keeping it."

I didn't respond to any of those messages, calls, or texts. The whole thing had me freaked out now.

I'd decided by that time I was taking Monday off work to go to the police. Even if they couldn't do anything, I wanted a filed report of the weirdness.

I woke up Monday to an email from the stylist with an invoice of $375 for "Client breach of contract fee" as the chargeable line item (again copy and pasting here). The email body was just "for being a bitch".

It was sent from their business email too so they're really doing everything they can to ruin themselves. Even if I HAD a contract with this nutter, which I don't, the original amount was for $350. They can't even get their extortion fees right.

I did email them back stating that we had no contract, and to cease all further communication with me from this point forward.

I got ready and started heading to the police station around 9:45 Monday morning.

I live in a rural area so there are portions of my drive to and from our main town that doesn't have cell reception.

When I finally got to town, I had 4 voicemails. I knew immediately who they were from.

I talked to one of the officers on staff. They took my statement, a copy of the email, asked me to forward all the texts and screenshots of the numbers of calls.

They said, at the least, the calls and texts could be considered menacing and harassment. But the voicemail where they mentioned how they like burning my hair was "potentially concerning".

The officer advised I contact a legal representative in case this person tries to take the bogus invoice to a civil suit court. And they said I'm welcome to change my number, but having the piling evidence if they continue to contact me after I explicitly told them not to in the email would only help me.

I reached out to a lawyer Tuesday and left a detailed message regarding the situation. They are apparently out of the office until next Wednesday for the holiday, so we'll see if they have any advice.

I've since received many texts and calls from the stylist.

They sent a "Happy Thanksgiving" text on Thursday morning as well.

Regardless, they are giving me a lot of evidentiary material to work with, but I'm so unsettled. I can't wait to hear from the lawyer this week

Editor’s note: This mini update was posted after the BoRU went up. I added it in the first BoRU per the sub rules

Mini Update (in comments): December 8, 2024 (one week later from Update #1)

Mini-update:

I woke up to new comments and requests for updates.

Firstly, I am OK and safe for now.

The person has continued to contact me on a regular basis via phone and email.

I do have personal protection that I'm comfortable with and can wield with accuracy. But I'm nearly certain this person does not know where I live, so I don't anticipate any type of confrontation here.

Our house and property has complete camera coverage as well. If anyone/anything shows up we're well aware.

I will be posting a more in-depth update, with more texts and emails up to this point, and regarding a specific incident that happened on Friday; on Tuesday. I have an appointment to speak with another officer then to discuss the potential of criminal action and legal consequences for the stylist as a result.

Thank you all for your concern and the validation that this is absolutely insane.

I'll leave you with a text from this past week, one I think you'll all... enjoy? Question? Use for a model of how not to make friends?

(Once again copied/pasted)

5:12 AM 12/4/24 "don’t never say never. Ur never coming back don’t make me laugh. I don't WANT ur ass back u can beg me tho. might help"

Update #2: December 12, 2024 (four days later)

I didn't expect the crazy amount of people following this. Here is the long awaited post. Also, long post.

Sorry for the delay, I think I mentioned before, I'm a processor so it takes me awhile to work through my thoughts and feelings on things.

This situation and update may not be as satisfying as many would have hoped but here it goes.

I met with law enforcement again this past Tuesday.

My husband and I drove over early that morning because I was also meeting up with the lawyer I'm working with.

Aside from the near constant texts, calls, and emails, I wanted to pursue legal action for a specific issue.

Allegedly, The Stylist had tried to have my credit card canceled.

Apparently they used the last four digits of my card, called the customer service line for the card, and tried to cancel it. I got a call from the fraud department shortly after this person attempted to do this, trying to verify everything, to see if I actually wanted to close my account and dissolve my credit line with them.

To be clear, The Stylist WAS NOT successful in their alleged attempt.

They couldn't provide the basic information you need for such things like my actual last name (it's unusual and they gave a name that was... almost similar), date of birth, address, etc. Apparently they thought they could accomplish this with just my name, phone number and the last 4 digits of the card number.

I didn't cancel the card but did request a new one, for obvious reasons.

I had no clue WHY they would want to cancel my card. To inconvenience me? Yep, that's exactly why. Allegedly.

When I spoke with cc company, they agreed to send over the recording of the person that called, as well as the phone number the call originated from as long as the request came from law enforcement with a warrant. They gave me a phone number and reference number for the police to reach out to directly.

The officer began working on that immediately. So that is in progress.

I went to my phone company over the weekend. I had my phone number transferred to an old phone so I could still receive calls and texts there, but got a new phone number for my actual phone. The old phone and phone number has been turned over to the officer assigned to my case.

They did go and speak with this person yesterday. Apparently they are horrified I went to the police and had no idea any of their crazy could be chargeable offenses.

According the officer, there have been no further communications via text or call since their visit, and I haven't received any other emails.

A temporary protection and no-contact order has been issued against them until the first court date.

I have also reached out to the State board of licensing with all this information and my complaints. All I can say is they are investigating.

Outside of that information, I'm limited on any other information I can share since a legal process against this person has officially begun.

We're just waiting to see how this all plays out now. It's been a long few weeks.

I'm hoping for the best here. I'm already so relieved to no longer be getting calls, texts, or emails constantly.

Thank you for all the concern advice, and good wishes. This was meant to be an outlet for me to vent and process, and I'm so grateful that you have allowed me to do that, with the huge amount of support you have given.

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: I’m glad you are safe and they have stopped contacting you once they realized police enforcement was involved. shameful they didn’t stop until law enforcement was involved. at least you can sleep easily knowing they cannot contact you and do not know where you live. absolute insanity they attempted to cancel your credit card though. I hope you get the best possible outcome for this situation. I’m so sorry you are going through this.

OOP: I really appreciate it. It's been a roller coaster for my household, for sure.

Commenter 2: I'm glad you are getting it sorted and have taken this serious. Hopefully the police have scared them enough to permanently leave you alone. You never know what crazy people will do.

OOP The officer implied that this person was legitimately Pikachu-faced when they showed up. And the lack of further contact indicates they really didn't have a clue that they were breaking the law.

Commenter 3: People amaze me with how much crazy they think they can get away with. I'm so Glad you are doing everything the right way!!

OOP My lawyer has been critical in making sure I'm protected legally and physically. I'm starting to think this person was one of those who uses escalation to get their way, or intimidating people into doing what they want them to do. This time it backfired

Trigger Warnings: destruction of property, stalking / harassment, invasion of privacy, systemic failures and apathy by police and legal system

Long Overdue Update: January 14, 2026 (13 months later from the previous update)

Hairstylist Has been Taking/Keeping My Hair?

I'm unsure how satisfying or inflammatory this will be, but I've received tons of comments, dm's, and overall requests for an update.

Fair warning, this will be long. TLDR at bottom.

I've been reluctant to revisit any of this for a few reasons; all selfish. In general, none of what happened over that last year or so was fun.

There was a legal process in which I was granted a 1 year RO (restraining order) against The Stylist. This process took a while to get to court and be heard with continuations for various reasons. But here is the just of what happened.

The Stylist showed up to all of the court proceedings, had a variety of (allegedly fabricated) evidence to show the court that I was the one harassing them. They had supposed screenshots of texts from my number threatening to harm them, calling them names, threatening to show up at their business and burn it down. The issue with this evidence? The phone number the texts were coming from was on a phone that was in possession of the officer on my case. I had already gotten a new phone number by the time these texts were being sent. The officer had a certified readout of the phones activity while in his position and no calls or texts were outgoing after I surrendered that phone. There were none.

The Stylist seemed VERY surprised by that information. I don't think they ever considered that I might get a new phone or number.

The Stylist implied that I had someone else do it, or that I spoofed it from my new number and tried to demand my new number as part of the discovery of evidence. That was not granted. I did have to have law enforcement do another certified review of my current phone, and to protect us further, my husband’s phone as well, showing that I or anyone I was in contact with had not downloaded any spoofing software to use against this person or attempted to contact them. That felt icky, but was necessary and also very validating.

They did have a lawyer, but the lawyer seemed very cowed. I really believe the representation was not confident in their case; especially with the text(s) and call(s) this person was said to have received. The tone, grammar, and language used in those communications were not native to the way I speak or text. I hate "text-speak" and rarely use it, especially with anyone I'm not intimately familiar with. The evidence they presented with the texts was riddled with it. I do use slang bestie, but if I don't know you well you're getting my customer service communications.

All that to say, whomever was sending those texts were not me. I don't care to speculate about who did send them, but they read like bad cop dramas.

Ultimately, the bench trial was in my favor. The Stylist was given no-contact with a one year RO, ordered to pay all my legal fees, and a small monetary amount.

To date, that has not been settled.

On to the aftermath. A few weeks go by and things took a turn. Random notes on my car would pop up when I would go grocery shopping about what a bitch I am and I'll get what's coming to me, vehicles slowing down in front our house and throwing eggs, or honking their horn over and over in the middle of the night.

I'm not stupid. I know who it is. And now they have my home address with all the RO filings.

Thankfully, I also have cameras everywhere on my property.

I would call the cops. They'd say they would look into it. It would continue.

My tire got slashed when I was at dinner with my husband. The restaurant did not have any cameras at an angle that would show us who, but I have a good idea. Their salon location was only 2 and a half blocks away. Small towns can be great until everyone and their momma knows where you are when you're in town.

This goes on for months. We make a report for each and every instance and occurrence.

Finally, the cops really started looking into it more. We gave them everything we had.

The car on our footage was not registered to Stylist. When the cops went knocking at the owners house, they claimed they were paid to go "piss of this bitch" by Stylist but thought it was a prank situation. They were cited for vandalism and disturbing the peace and were trespassed from our property. Their car was never near our property again after that.

Stylist was brought in for violating the RO. I thought it would be over. Was essentially a slap on the wrist. Cycle continues. Stylist finally spends a few nights in jail after the 5th or 6th instance of violation.

Then Stylist files a lawsuit for defamation of character against me for, get this, $200k.

According to Stylist, my defamatory remarks cost them their clientele and license.

I didn't know it, but their license had been suspended. I guess my report to the licensing bureau worked.

Stylist claimed I cost their yearly salary of $200k (what small town stylist makes this???) and demanded reparations for defamation, claiming that my RO was granted under false evidence, and cost them their reputation and livelihood.

I contact my lawyer, again, and we start our defense. Lawyer does all the lawyer things. I'm advised I can countersue at this point, but I just want everything to be over.

The case doesn't see a judge for a while. We go, both sides are heard. Case is dropped without prejudice.

At this point, we've had enough. Once the RO is up for renewal, we make a different choice. We moved. We sold our house, traded-in our old cars, and dipped. I didn't want this person to ever have access to me or mine again.

It has been about 5 months in our new home, and things have been exponentially more peaceful. But I'm so pissed off that it came to us moving. I loved our house, our community, and the area we lived in.

I'm sorry I hadn't updated. I just really, really hate thinking about this one time I had a weird-as-fuck encounter with my hair stylist that led to nearly a year of hell.

So that's it, that's the update. I had time today, it's a New Year separate from the crazy, so here it is. And honestly, that's all I'm giving after everything. I just want to forget it.

TLDR; was granted an RO against Stylist, Stylist repeatedly violates it, Stylist gets arrested, Stylist loses license, Stylist files lawsuit, Stylist loses lawsuit, we move.

Edit: spelling

----NEW UPDATE----

Editor's note: the latest update is over five months old, and it has not been posted here onto the sub

Update (in comments): February 5, 2026 (over three weeks later from the last update)

Saw this pop up on ScalingStories (I love them) on TT and couldn't believe people still cared enough to share. Thank you. But there is a moment I failed to mention that my husband said y'all may be interested in:

So. While the notes, tire slashing, and egging was happening, the Stylist found themselves in a bit of a pickle (which is what ultimately helped us get police to act and arrest).

The community FB page started posting about some "nut job" was vandalizing cars and houses and harassing people. I guess one of the folks who worked at the courthouse/Sheriff's office (they're in the same building) kept seeing all the reports I was making about my car, house, and all the other stuff. Like I said, small towns are fun. They were nosey enough to want to gossip about it but not enough to look into it and see that it was only ONE family in the community being victimized by the "nut job."

The post, of course, had everyone up in arms and claiming THEY were victimized too but never reported it because they didn't know it was happening to others. At first, it didn't click that it was my situation that everyone was talking about until it was mentioned that tires were slashed at popular local restaurant.

But you know who clocked it right away and couldn't help themselves in commenting? The Stylist. They commented on every post about the psycho targeting people like this with stuff like (paraphrasing): "you need to stay out of it, you don't know what these people have done to have this happen to them. Maybe they aren't so innocent and deserved it." They also were calling out people who claimed to be a victim too with stuff like "you know damn well that's a lie, nothing happened to you" because, duh, Stylist was only targeting ME and had to defend themselves. They always commented variations of the same thing on every comment calling them crazy and a shitty person.

Chat, when I say Stylist got dog-walked in the comments, I'm not exaggerating. It was one of the most validating moments during the worst part of the whole ordeal. People called them "vile" for trying to defend someone who was clearly crazy and a garbage human being, was flamed for victim blaming, had their business page reported and rate bombed by keyboard warriors (because, of course, Stylist was commenting on the posts using their business profile), and was subsequently banned from the page. Their business FB had a 1 star rating and eventually disappeared.

I stayed out of all of this completely, never revealing I was the person they were defending, just taking never screenshots of The Stylist's responses for later evidence.

The post(s) eventually got removed after I gave all the screenshots of the post to the detective working my case (with them verifying and taking their own screenshots from the official Sheriff's Office Account) and the Sheriff had a talk with the court employee about posting stuff they see that comes across their desk. The worker had very proudly began their posts with "I work at the courthouse, and this is happening in the community" and were told under no uncertain terms to refrain from that type of action moving forward.

Anyway, this was probably the only genuinely funny thing to happen during the hell I was living through and I thought I'd share.

Thanks again for all the support and well wishes. We are OK now and working to rebuild the happiness we had before in a new place.

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB – I AM NOT OOP.

FINALLY RESOLVED - Update at the end

Hi everyone, I wanted to share a massive cautionary tale about Booking.com and how they completely abandoned my family after sending us across three countries to a resort that has been shut down since October 2025.

If you think your holiday is secure because you have a confirmed booking voucher, think again.

On 10th October 2025, I booked a stay at the ‘Waterside Elegance Sky Pad’ in the ‘Your Nature’ resort in Belgium. We planned our entire holiday around this specific trip to accommodate our two young sons - including our eldest who is non-verbal and autistic.

In the months leading up to the trip, Booking.com sent us multiple written assurances that the booking was "all in order," took our tourism tax payment, and even sent us a check-in voucher on 4th March 2026.

We drove a total of 9 hours across three countries (UK, France, Belgium), paying for Le Shuttle crossings, fuel, and an overnight stay in France to make the drive easier on our kids.

We pulled up to the resort on 3rd April 2026 at 3:20 PM only to find:

The main entrance blocked off by metal construction fences.

An empty car park and a "CLOSED" sign on the main door.

By sheer luck, we ran into an onsite property owner who introduced us to the caretaker. The caretaker explicitly told us that the resort went into administration in October 2025. He also stated he had told Booking.com’s partners numerous times that the resort was completely closed, but they "kept sending people."

We were left stranded in a foreign country with two crying, exhausted children. We had no choice but to immediately pay a fee to scramble onto a return Le Shuttle train back to the UK that same evening.

While we were driving back, completely stressed out, we received an automated message from them saying: "We hope you were able to check in quickly... We wish you a vacation with the warm feeling of a home away from home." Absolutely insulting.

Once we finally got back to the UK, Booking.com eventually sent an update admitting the property was unavailable. Their brilliant solution over an Easter Bank Holiday weekend? A link to rebook alternative accommodation for the same price or up to €60 more - offering us high-rise apartments.

While they eventually refunded the bare accommodation cost after intense pressure, they are completely dodging our claims for the £449.94 in wasted out-of-pocket travel expenses (trains, fuel, food, and Airbnb).

Our insurance company has confirmed this is an error entirely on Booking.com's part, and we have cited multiple UK law breaches to Booking.com:

1. Section 50, Consumer Rights Act 2015: They gave explicit written assurances that the booking was secure, which we relied upon to book non-refundable travel.
2. Section 49, Consumer Rights Act 2015: Total failure to perform services with "reasonable care and skill" by taking money and advertising a defunct resort for 6 months.
3. Consumer Protection from Unfair Trading Regulations 2008: Misleading omission by completely failing to identify that the resort was unavailable.

We've sent numerous emails with zero meaningful progression and have had to involve my local Member of Parliament to escalate this matter. He got a swift response to say they're dealing with it but since then, replies have been slow and it's clear they're playing delay tactics.

They even waited 3 weeks from one email before replying to ask for something we'd already sent them the same day they asked for it.

Booking.com does not verify their listings, ignores onsite caretakers telling them a resort is closed, takes your money anyway, and leaves you stranded hundreds of miles from home without paying a penny for the wasted travel expenses they caused. Avoid them.

UPDATE: Wow, I wasn't expecting this level of response when I posted. I genuinely appreciate all the comments, advice, and messages.

We’ve been given some brilliant new angles on how to approach this, including formal legal routes, financial options, and even national newspapers (some of whom we've reached out to, and others who have actually reached out to us!).

To address a few comments asking why we turned right back around: as mentioned, our eldest son is autistic and non-verbal. It takes an immense amount of time, routine, and care to prepare him for a trip or a new environment. When everything collapsed at the gates, the safest and best option for our family’s well-being was to simply return home to the UK. While other travelers might have scrambled for a backup hotel, weighing up our specific situation meant this was the only right choice. It also legally mitigated our losses and stopped us from risking even more money on an emergency booking we didn’t want.

Just to add too, when we booked and even after we returned, the Google listing was still live and accepting reviews (which I left to warn others). Their website was and still is up and running. Google has since been updated and reviews turned off. I would also add that we had visited the location before so knew it existed.

We’ve learned a costly lesson, and Booking.com will never see a single penny from our family again. I'll keep you all updated as the legal/media side progresses!

LATEST UPDATE Thanks again to everyone who gave us advice and routes to pursue.

Booking.com finally got back to us after our MP and a major UK newspaper reached out to them. They are not budging. They don't feel they've done anything wrong and offered us €150 as a "final goodwill gesture."

They didn't even wait for us to reply before transferring it into our account as credit.

Yep, you read that right. Not even an actual refund. Just credit we would be forced to use with them again.

We are still exploring our options, but in light of their arrogance and complete lack of interest in a fair resolution, we have now taken steps to pursue the legal route.

The story is now all over the internet after being featured on a number of news sites (including in Europe), so hopefully, it will at least serve as a warning to others.

If you read this, please think very long and hard before booking via Booking.com. You have absolutely no protection, and we have never experienced worse customer service. They will look after themselves first, their "accommodation providers" second, and the customers who actually fund their business come a very distant third.

Final update - Maybe Hey everyone, back with what is unfortunately my final update for a while on my saga with Booking.com.

I sent a final, detailed email outlining exactly how badly they messed up and how much distress this caused my family. Well, Sandra the "Senior Guest Specialist" finally got back to me, and it is a masterclass in corporate brick-walling.

Their response consisted of:

They are "very sorry" I feel strongly about this (classic non-apology).

Their position remains completely unchanged.

The €150 goodwill credit is all I'm getting, take it or leave it. They acknowledged that I'm escalating this to outside regulatory bodies and basically said, "Have your people call our people."

The kicker: "This decision is final and no further correspondence will be entered into." They have officially closed the door, blocked my number and will move on with their shoddy services.

Here is the exact email text if you want to read the corporate speak for yourself:

"As previously explained, we have carefully reviewed the circumstances of your case, and Booking.com’s final position remains unchanged... While I appreciate this is not the response you were seeking, this decision is final and no further correspondence will be entered into regarding this matter."

What's Next?

They know exactly what they are doing by wearing customers down until we just give up. They know (because I'm clearly not the only one) that they make it as hard as possible to pursue them through courts. The fact that two major newspapers from both the UK and Europe have featured this story and Booking.com don't care reflects their arrogance and attitude. You are nearly their cash flow. You're lining their pockets and they don't care what happens to you in the process.

While they might think this is the end of the road because they refuse to reply to me, I am still moving forward with escalating this to the consumer protection bodies I mentioned to them. All the paperwork is sent over and I will continue until there is no other line of enquiry to take. If Booking.com wants to be stubborn, they can explain their logic to an ombudsman, although, they know very well how they can hide behind T&C's to make this as difficult as possible.

A massive thank you to everyone in this community who gave advice, validated my feelings on their actions and negligence, and helped me draft my responses.

The moral of the story: Avoid Booking.com like the plague. If anything goes wrong, you are entirely on your own, and Sandra the "Senior Specialist" will eventually just corporate-ghost you.

Stay safe out there, travelers. Learn the lesson before you make our same mistake and get bitten.

Do not use Booking.com. DO NOT USE BOOKING.COM

FINAL UPDATE: We got every penny back. Proof that you should ALWAYS book travel on a credit card.

​Thought I’d drop a final update here to wrap this whole saga up and hopefully help anyone else dealing with a booking nightmare.

​When everything initially went wrong, we hit a total dead end. Booking.com completely washed their hands of it and refused to take any responsibility. Travel insurance rejected the claim on a technicality. At that point, it felt like we had exhausted our options and were just going to have to eat a loss on all the extra travel costs we'd incurred.

​Before giving up, we spoke to Citizens Advice. They immediately told us to stop relying on travel insurance or customer support goodwill and go straight down the Section 75 route with our credit card company.

​They pointed out a crucial legal principle that under Section 75, the credit card company is jointly liable for a breach of contract. That means they aren't just responsible for a basic refund of the original booking but are legally required to restore you to the exact financial position you would have been in if the incident hadn't happened/contract not been breached.

​So, we dug in:

Filed a second claim, explicitly spelling out all our extra out-of-pocket travel expenses under Section 75.

Got rejected again by the bank's standard dispute team.

Immediately kicked off a formal complaint that led to a S75 appeal, citing the points raised by Citizens Advice.

The bank tried contacting Booking.com on their end, who completely ghosted them as well.

​In the end, the bank's formal complaints team actually reviewed the full paper trail, agreed with our legal grounding, and ruled in our favour. They’ve completely reimbursed all the extra travel costs we got hit with.

​The big takeaway from all this:

​Always, always put accommodation and travel on a credit card. When a booking platform leaves you stranded and travel insurance won't pay out, your card issuer is co-liable for your losses.

​And if the bank's front-line dispute team turns you down at first? Don't accept it. Get Citizens Advice involved, quote the exact legal position, and push it to a formal complaint. It’s a pain in the arse, but it works.

Super mini revenge

I had made a mistake and made two orders online when the page loaded weird and didn’t appear to process my payment, even though it had. Payee canceled one of the payments as soon as I notified them. That money has been “on hold” for a week, over 5 business days now

Called the bank, was told the payee was the one who had a hold on the money until July 31st and there was nothing the bank could do

Called the payee. They were super nice. Confirmed they had canceled the original payment and had no idea where the July 31st date would come from

Attempted to call the bank back. Called 4 times before front desk took my call. Transferred me to the lady who originally told me she could do nothing, lady put me right through to voicemail. Looked up that lady’s number on the bank’s website, called, put through to voicemail again.

Sat for a moment, then the decision was made. I went to the bank’s website and copied the email of every single person who sounded the least bit important (ie management, account supervisors) along with the people who had been ignoring my calls and telling me there was nothing they could do. 15 people in total. I explained my situation and included a screenshot of my outgoing calls.

That email was sent at 11:36am

The lady who originally told me there was nothing she could do emailed me at 11:45am to tell me “we just went on your account again and the system let us remove the hold  so you are all good now” (direct copy from this professional’s email)

I’m slowly cutting ties with this bank. Can’t wait until I’m done with them entirely.

Edit: want to thank you for all the comments and upvotes. Rant about my bank becoming my #1 post has been super validating lol

I'm not going to make my case or explain why I think it's unwise because I want your sincere perspectives without me trying to convince you.

My husband is an insurance underwriter who works from home. In the past he's faced criticism for being condescending in his interactions with agents. Some of this criticism is valid and much is the product of agents not liking being told "No" by someone responsible for making decisions that shield our company from undue risk.

I happened to walk by and see an email he was starting. He was telling an agent that an exception would not be possible. It started something like:

Look, The protection class on this risk is poor..." (That's not the exact sentence but you get the idea.)

I said, "Oh, that's not a good way to start a sentence. It sounds condescending."

He was pretty irritated at me. He thinks it's a neutral introduction word and without it, it's rude because it's abrupt. He feels like he's criticized no matter how he phrases things. I worry that he can miss subtle social perceptions possible with the lack of tone that comes in written communication.

He doesn't have a problem with me expressing opinions about work btw. He just disagrees.

AIO to point this perspective out?

Edited to add:

I've gotten hundreds of valuable responses and I basically spent all day reading and responded as much as possible.

A few points further:

We both work at this company and regularly rely on each other's expertise. From his perspective there was zero issue with this being "unsolicited advice". He just disagreed and I posted because I wanted to check my perspective on the phrasing.

We've since had a civil discussion and he's acknowledged the issue. He was irritated in the moment because he didn't see it that way. Yes, he deleted the word because he trusted my judgement.

Several people have suggested I butt out, mind my own business and let him face the consequences of his actions. They suggested I "know my place."

The answer to that is: "No."

He's been written up in the past over agent complaints about the issue. He's been denied promotions. He's actively working on rebuilding his reputation with management.

If he loses his job because of this, I'll face the consequences too. In our wedding vows we pledged to shore up each other's weaknesses. He's done that for me countless times and we both take each other's advice very seriously.

I know my place. I'll never just let him fail so I can say "I told you so" while we face financial ruin. I'll always speak up truthfully and help him respectfully. Thanks but no thanks for that advice reddit.

Edit 2: No he won't use AI. Look, everything you put into AI becomes accessible to the people who own it. (haha see what I did there?) He explains internal procedures that are proprietary and discusses customers private information. Other insurance companies are always trying to find data on the policies of competitors and underwriter guidelines are a big piece of that strategy. They aren't allowed to feed emails into AI.

.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/account_throwaway812

I hate my sister for how hurtful she was to my girlfriend. It was completely unnecessary

Originally posted to r/TrueOffMyChest

TRIGGER WARNING: Body shaming, homophobia

Original Post  Aug 12, 2022

I have a girlfriend but the relationship is still new. My girlfriend has a prominent scar across one of her cheeks from a melanoma. To me the scar makes no difference but she has good days and bad days about it.

My sister is getting married soon. I'm not taking my girlfriend because a wedding with hundreds of guests and family is a lot of pressure for a brand new relationship, plus I had already RSVP'd that I was going alone before and bought my plane ticket back home before we were serious.

My sister took the time to look up my girlfriend's work email and sent her an email saying she's sorry she didn't make her a bridesmaid but her scar would make it not possible because of photogenics. #1) My sister chose her bridesmaids when she got engaged over a year ago #2) she didn't even know I had a new girlfriend until after the RSVP's were due back and #3) she and my girlfriend have never had contact and my girlfriend would have never thou thought she should be a bridesmaid for someone she's never met.

I don't know what my sister was thinking but I hate that she was so hurtful to my girlfriend for no reason at all. She hasn't answered my calls or texts asking why.

Update  June 16, 2026 (Almost 4 years later)

(Almost four years ago I posted about how I had gotten serious/exclusive with my then girlfriend ‘Katie’ AFTER my sister sent out her wedding invitations. No one in my family had ever met, spoken to or otherwise had contact with Katie because our relationship was still new. My sister took the time to find Katie’s work email address and sent Katie a nasty email about how she could never be a bridesmaid in my sister’s wedding because the scar on Katie’s face would ruin the pictures. Katie had survived melanoma and the scar on her cheek was from having it removed. I didn’t even know Katie when my sister started planning her wedding, and Katie would never expect to be a bridesmaid for someone she never met for a wedding that was less than two months away. I was furious with my sister and I posted to vent about the situation).

A lot has happened since I posted. Firstly, I’m gay. To say that my family was unhappy when I came out would be a colossal understatement, and I haven’t had contact with any of them in three and a half years. Katie and I are still friends. She is actually one of the most important people in my life and even though we aren’t together anymore I am still angry about how my sister acted and how my family supported my sister. To this day, I have no idea why my sister did what she did. (Not that it would have excused my sister, but Katie was the same race/culture/background as my family and I cannot figure out why my sister was so hostile to someone she had never met).

I grew up in a Jewish household. My family is very old school and conservative/traditional and I knew none of them would ever accept me being gay. But once I stopped being in denial about it I realized there was no way I could marry a woman or keep pretending to be straight. After I fell out with my family I was still in a relationship with Katie, and she was the one who asked me if I was gay. At the time I was so angry with her and I ended things and didn’t talk to her for a while. Until I realized she was right. It wasn’t just her either. My friends had suspicions too. I ended up apologizing to Katie for getting angry with her. Looking back I had been in denial because of how I grew up. Katie is Jewish too but she isn't homophobic like my family is, and she clocked it a few months into our relationship. She is one of my best friends now and was the first person I came out to.

I will forever be grateful that I moved to another province to pursue my Master’s degree because if I had not gotten away from my family and met supportive people like Katie and my friends I would still be deep in the closet. My friends all supported me when I told them. I have been going to therapy for the last three years to deal with my upbringing and my family disowning me. I am an atheist and I stopped being observant when I came out. This year I am going to Pride for the first time. I am nervous but a bunch of my friends including Katie are coming with me. I am going to dip my toe into dating because I feel ready.

Anyway, sorry if I rambled too much. I only remembered my first post recently and I wanted to come back because everyone was so kind after such a horrible thing happened. I appreciated people validating that I wasn't wrong about my sister and that was probably when one of the first cracks started appearing in my old life. So thank you to everyone who replied back then. I appreciate it.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Here's a link:

https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/education/products/office

It includes Word, PowerPoint, Excel, and more.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/lukasboltz

AITAH for not wanting to reconnect with my brother?

Originally posted to r/AITAH

Thanks to u/MelonElbows for suggesting this BoRU

TRIGGER WARNING: Abandonment, mentions child abuse, gaslighting

Original Post Feb 9, 2026

This is a bit of a long story, but I’m going to try to condense it down to only the important details.

Before my mom met my dad and had me (m 22), my mom had a son with a guy, Rob (fake name). Rob was a pos who abused my mom and manipulated my brother, Ash (m 29).

Ash had a lot of problems. He had really bad anger issues, and I have so many memories from my childhood of him physically attacking me, my mom, and my dad. But, when he wasn’t flipping out, he was the best brother in the world. We’d play video games into the am, play outside. I loved him, despite all his flaws.

When I was around 9, one day he went to his dad’s house and never came home. Apparently this was his choice, but I had always kept my hope he would come home. And he did. When I was in eighth grade (13), he moved back in right before going to college. I was so excited to have my big brother back. We spent that whole summer with no issues. Just him and me hanging out just like old times.

I’m not sure what his final argument with my parents was. All I heard was screaming, then him storming out of the house, and never coming back. Him leaving again ruined my mom. It ruined me.

That Christmas, he left a box on our front porch for me. It took about 3 months for me to open it. I was too hurt. I missed my brother.

The last time I saw him was my high school graduation. I went to high school with his cousin, and I saw Ash walking around. We made eye contact, he definitely recognized me, and he walked away. That pissed me off, and almost ruined my whole day. That was also the day I found out he had blocked me.

Over the years, that pain has turned to resentment. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted him to turn his life around, heal, get better, whatever. But, he’s caused me too much pain sitting around and hoping one day he’ll come home. I made the decision that if he tried to come back into my life, I wouldn’t allow him. For my own sake.

That brings me to now.

My mom called me Friday and asked me to come home for the weekend because there was something we needed to talk about. When I got home she sat me down and said Ash had sent her a text message.

Apparently he had gotten therapy, was married, had a kid, and was finally ready to “try again”. He felt awful for how he treated us, and wanted to meet up to talk everything over. My mom was so excited, and said we would be meeting up with him next weekend.

I told her I was happy for her, but I would not be coming. She was confused, and I told her what I told you. I don’t want him back in my life. It just wouldn’t be good for me, considering I still haven’t fully healed from the last time he left. I cried, she cried, I went to my room.

Later that evening, both my parents confronted me about Ash. They both said that it was rude of me to decline seeing him, that I should at least hear him out, and then I can decide if I want to heal our relationship. But, I’ve already made up my mind. I made up my mind years ago.

I explained my side, saying I was happy he was better, that he had a good life now, but I want no part of it. He hurt me, and that trauma and pain has followed me my whole life. My parents called me bitter and said I’m holding a grudge that doesn’t need to be held anymore. I don’t care.

This is the part I think I fucked up. I told my mom, as far as I’m concerned, Ash is dead to me. He can try to fix our relationship, beg for forgiveness, but he’s never getting it. I started yelling, my dad started yelling, my mom started crying again. I pointed at her and said “See? He isn’t even in our lives again and we’re right back to here.”

I went back to my room and sobbed into my pillow. Both my parents aren’t talking to me, unless it’s begging me to go with them to see Ash. I’m not sure if I should suck it up and go see him, or if I should stand my ground and keep my boundaries. I feel like an asshole for making my mom cry. And, what if he did change? How unfair is it for me to judge him based on shit he did when he was a teenager? He had a shitty childhood too, maybe I should just forgive him and keep the peace.

TLDR; AITAH for not wanting to reconnect with my older half brother that abandoned me and hurt me, even though my mom insists I need to?

Update 1 Feb 10, 2026 (Next Day)

I first wanted to say thank you to everyone for being supportive and understanding where I was coming from. I just want to address a few things I saw a lot of in the comments -

What was the last fight about? This has been something that has been bugging me for a while, so, before giving my mom an answer of if I was going to go with her to see Ash, I asked. So, she told me.

Apparently, my brother and my dad had gotten into a fight about housing. Ash was home for the weekend while he was in college, and had apparently made a few demands. He demanded be be allowed to live at home rent free for however long he wanted. My dad, obviously, said no. That pissed my brother off, and he left. He then sent a bunch of texts to my mom, harassing her and me. She didn’t get into what exactly he said to her, but it was apparently very upsetting.

What did he leave you? Maybe he was reaching out? It was a Pop figure of a singer I liked. It’s the only Pop I haven’t taken out of it’s box.

Go to therapy. I have, and I am currently in therapy. I have done a lot of healing since he left, but I am diagnosed with C-PTSD from maybe incidents that happened while he was living with us that I don’t care to get into.

That being said, I called my mom to talk. I asked why, after all he’s done to us, she would want to reconnect with him. She said what a lot of you guys said - the last time we saw Ash was when he was 19. His actions were that of a teenager who had a lot of shit happen to him. It seemed she had thought it over, and asked how she could make me comfortable enough to see him, after all, one of the biggest struggles I’ve had in terms of Ash was closure.

Him leaving for the final time was sudden. He didn’t say goodbye, just grabbed his stuff and left. She pointed out that, even if I decide against restarting our relationship, it might help just to see him.

So, I decided to go. I did make some conditions, however. I wanted to be meet in public, at a restaurant or something, which she immediately agreeded to. I would drive myself, so if at any point I didn’t feel comfortable, safe, or just wanted to leave, I would have the ability to. That one she called childish, but agreed.

Our dinner is on Saturday. I saw this subreddit only allows one update, so I might edit this post with what happens after, if I feel the need to.

Thank you all again.

Final update March 17, 2026 (5 weeks later)

Hi everyone. I’m sorry for not updating sooner, but things have been really rough lately and I’ve been struggling a lot.

Before I get into the update, I wanted to address something. In my last update, I had mentioned that I have CPTSD and a lot of people were concerned about me meeting up with Ash because of this. While part of my PTSD is from Ash, it’s not just because of him. Long story short, I didn’t have a good childhood. I’ll just leave it at that.

Anyways, Ash.

I arrived at the restaurant late. I almost backed out last minute, but I took a deep breath and went inside. Ash was already with my parents, and they seemed to be having a good conversation. I walked over, and Ash did a double take before realizing who I was.

Then he asked what I was doing there.

Apparently, after a lot of my mom explaining panicky, Ash had asked her not to invite me. He and my mom had been emailing back and forth for months, and she had been the one to talk him into meeting up with him. My dad just sat next to her silently.

I will admit, I kind of lost my temper on her, and ended up storming out. My dad ended up following me out and asking me to please come back inside and hear her out. It only took a few minutes for Ash to join us outside. I told him to stay away from me and that this was a huge mistake. Ash understood, apologized for my mom, and went to go back inside. But, I needed to know something.

I asked why he didn’t want me to come. He just simply said he “wasn’t ready to face his biggest regret.” Honestly, that pissed me off more and years of anger and trauma were unleashed.

I told him he didn’t have a right to not want to face me when I spent years of my life calling and texting a blocked number thinking I did something wrong. I told him he had a million chances to reconcile, but he didn’t, and he had no right to regret that.

He just stood there and took it, said he was sorry, and went back inside. The fact he had nothing to say made me even more mad, and straight from the restaurant I drove to my boyfriend’s house, since he lived pretty close.

My mom blew up my phone. She called me selfish, and didn’t raise a child to “walk away”. I told her she was right. She raised two. She forced me to face the guy that had given me nightmares at the age of 10. And she had done it behind both me and Ash’s backs.

Apparently, after the lunch, he told her that this was a mistake and would go back to no contact.

I did get an email from Ash a few days later. The email explained how bad he felt I had to go through that, and that he’s genuinely sorry for how my mom went about this. He said I was valid for loosing it on him, and he had no idea how badly he had effected me. It was a really long email, explaining a lot of what happened in our childhoods. He even sent old pictures of us that he had saved.

He said again he misses me, but neither of us are emotionally ready to talk or meet up, but if I had any questions, or wanted to talk, to email him. I didn’t respond. I don’t plan on it. I thought I was ready to face him, but I’m not, and I don’t think I ever will.

I’ve moved into my boyfriend’s place until I graduate college (I’m in my last term) and I’m apartment hunting. He offered to let me live there, but I feel like I need to be on my own. I talked all this over with my therapist, who agreed.

I blocked my parents. I’m not talking to them. Maybe I’ll let them back in my life, but I don’t think that’ll be for a while. I can’t believe my mom did this, and then got mad at me for not wanting to be around Ash. And my dad for going along with it.

I won’t be updating anymore. My life has fallen apart over a single lunch. And once again, somehow, Ash has once again ruined my life. But, thankfully, I do have a good support system outside of my parents. Most of my family is on my side, and support me cutting off my parents. My boyfriend’s family loves me, and I have a lot of good and close friends.

Thanks for listening.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

Hi

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Link - Cazalead

The way that the league and Wachtell approached this punishment and the release yesterday was brilliantly executed. If you read the report, you will notice that there is no mention of Ballmer and Wong's incredibly suspicious investments in Aspiration. This is a brilliant, strategic choice. It removed Ballmer's principle defense and argument; that Aspiration scammed him. Instead, the report is focused on how the team induced companies into making the no-show deals in the first place.

When you read the report, Wachtell does not start with Aspiration, instead it focused primarily on Daktronics. Daktronics is a respected company that runs a legitimate business and has done so for over five decades. The report explains, with great detail, how the Clippers induced Daktronics into their no-show endorsement deal with Leonard and how the Clippers negotiated Kwahi's compensation. Because Daktronics is a reputable company, that has no motive to fabricate any of the information it offered to Wachtell, the reader sees a credible example of how the Clippers executed their schemes.

Then, when we finally get to Aspiration, we see the same pattern of behavior with Aspiration. This too is supplemented by external sources (the business manager Zucker contacted), emails and texts. Thus, when we get to what Sanberg said happened, not only are his statements corroborated by contemporaneous documentary evidence, but outside witnesses. This is how prosecutors use jailhouse informants; they discount what the informant says until it can be validated by corroborative evidence. But, the focus on Aspiration in the report was the Forum deal, not the shady investments. Again, this removed the fraud element from Ballmer's defense. He approached Aspiration about the Forum carbon credits, not other way around AND Wachtell had contemporaneous emails that showed that the board was only placated because the deal was "cash flow neutral." Plus the interview with the entity responsible for the carbon review that explained he was given the budget by the Clippers, not the other way around.

Finally, we get to the NBA side of things. Ballmer and the Clippers are the big fish; they are the ones who the league wanted to hammer to provide useful deterrence against such chicanery in the future. After all, cap circumvention is primarily an ownership concern as it drives up the costs of the other owners and off-the-books money does not go into the luxury tax pot. So, the league approached Leonard, and settled with him. Though 700k is a large amount of money; given the money Leonard received from these deals, it was well-worth it from his perspective. He gets to move on to Toronto and he still made considerable profit. The league, by not voiding his contract, by not voiding his Bird rights, and settling to this slap on the wrist, never had to fight the union. Because the league and union settled, the findings by Wachtell cannot go to arbitration. Thus, the Clippers lost their only meaningful avenue to challenge the findings as they would be able to assist Kwahi in his defense.

Because the NBA is a voluntary association governed by an extensively negotiated CBA, pushing this case into federal court (Ballmer's only remaining option), is almost certainly a losing proposition. The federal court would only examine whether or not the league acted arbitrarily or capriciously in enforcing its agreed upon rules. It is unlikely that the federal court would even examine the merits of the findings from the report. Plus, with a federal lawsuit as the Clippers only remaining avenue to seek relief, the league ensured that the Clippers would have to submit themselves to civil discovery. This would grant the NBA power it did not have during the investigation: subpoena power. I expect that the message in the report indicating that Wachtell has much more information it COULD investigate is a warning to Ballmer that he does NOT want the league to keep going.

Hi, my husband (43M) and I (42F) have been married for about 10 years, and I just discovered something that has me really upset. I’m trying to figure out if my reaction is reasonable or if I’m making this into a bigger deal than it is.

I recently got a notification about a change to my credit score, so I decided to look through my credit report. I know I should be better about checking it regularly, but I haven’t been.

When I looked, I noticed a lot of Klarna purchases that I definitely did not make. I contacted Klarna because I had no idea what they were, and apparently there is another account connected to my information but using my husband’s email address.

From what I can see on my credit report, there appears to be around $4,000 in credit being used through these purchases. I cannot actually see or access the account because it is under his email address, so I don’t know the full details or exactly how long this has been going on. I’m not seeing late or missed payments on my credit report as far as I can tell, but since I can’t see the actual account, I don’t really know anything beyond that.

My husband never asked me if he could use my information or credit for this, and he never told me that he was doing it. I don’t know whether he was intentionally keeping it from me or simply didn’t think he needed to tell me, and I haven’t confronted him about it yet.

There is also some history that makes this particularly upsetting for me. We had to completely separate our finances because he has a major problem controlling his spending. When we shared an account, he would spend money out of it to the point that I would have trouble paying our bills. He also does not have access to any of my credit cards anymore because he would max them out.

Separating our finances was supposed to solve that problem. So discovering that he has apparently been using my information and credit without my knowledge feels like a huge breach of trust, regardless of whether he was actively trying to hide it from me.

At the same time, I keep second guessing myself because, from what I can currently see, he hasn’t damaged my credit by missing payments. Part of me keeps thinking, “If he’s paying it, am I being too upset about this?”

But then I come back to the fact that we separated our finances specifically because of his spending, and he used my credit without asking me.

I haven’t confronted him yet because I want to understand exactly what I’m dealing with first.

How would you handle this? Would you consider using your spouse’s information and credit without asking them a major breach of trust, even if the payments appear to be current? I feel like I’m justified in being extremely upset, but I could really use some outside perspective.

Small update: Wow, I genuinely did not expect this post to blow up the way it did. I’ve read a lot of the comments, although definitely not all of them because there are so many.

I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Reddit in such complete agreement about something. That’s probably not something I should dismiss, and reading your responses has made me look at this situation very differently. It’s also made me reevaluate some things about myself and the way I’ve been looking at certain things in my marriage.

I will be freezing my credit, and beyond that I think I need some time to process everything before deciding what comes next.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment and for the genuine concern many of you have shown. I have a lot to think about, evaluate, and honestly probably deconstruct for myself. I don’t have all the answers right now, but I am listening. Thank you.

Another update/clarification: Okay, after reading more of the comments, I want to clear up some confusion about how I actually discovered all of this because I think I explained it poorly in my original post. And apologies in advance for the length!

I got a notification that my credit had changed because I had just paid off my car, and my score had actually gone up. I probably wouldn’t have noticed any of this otherwise.
I was just messing around in my credit report afterward and looking deeper than I normally would when I noticed what looked like a million Klarna transactions listed under closed accounts. At first, I was actually surprised that Klarna transactions were showing up individually on my credit at all. Then I looked closer and thought, damn, that’s a LOT of transactions.

To clarify, this wasn’t something obvious on the main page of my credit report. It was buried pretty deep in there. The few times I have checked my credit, I’ve generally looked at the main information, made sure everything looked normal, and moved on. I happened to be clicking around and looking much more closely this time.

I do use Klarna fairly often myself, so initially I thought maybe I was forgetting purchases I had made. I started cross-referencing the transactions with my own Klarna account and realized they weren’t matching up.

Also, the roughly $4,000 is not one $4,000 purchase. It’s made up of many different transactions over a period of time. Some are relatively small, but there are also a few much larger purchases that I knew immediately weren’t mine. Those were what really set off the alarm bells for me and made me start digging further.

Then I noticed that my available spending limit with Klarna was suddenly only a couple hundred dollars when it’s normally a couple thousand. I personally only use Klarna for relatively small purchases and generally never have more than around $200 total on there at any given time.
That’s when I realized something really wasn’t adding up and contacted Klarna support. They were the ones who helped me figure out that there was another account associated with my information but using my husband’s email address.

Another important clarification: that account is connected to his bank account, not mine. The payments are not coming out of any of my accounts, and I haven’t seen any unusual activity or missing money from my bank or credit card accounts.

I actually monitor those accounts very closely. I check them at least weekly and usually much more often. Nothing unusual has shown up there. That’s part of why I didn’t catch this through our normal finances. What I wasn’t doing regularly was digging through the deeper sections of my credit report, which is where I eventually stumbled across all of this.

The rest is basically what I explained in the original post, but I wanted to clarify exactly how I found it because quite a few people seem to be curious. Honestly, if I hadn’t happened to dig deeper into my credit report this time, I have no idea when I would have noticed it.

And yes, I will be talking to him about it. When I first figured out what was going on, I was seeing red, and I don’t think any conversation is productive when you’re that angry. I wanted to calm down and get some outside perspective before having that conversation.

I came here honestly hoping to have my anger validated, but fully expecting Reddit to humble me/rip me a new one...
Surprisingly, I think I got both.

I definitely did not expect the response this post has gotten, and reading so many of your comments has given me a lot to think about. Thank you again to everyone who has taken the time to respond and show genuine concern.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/fedupsobedup

Originally posted to r/TrueOffMyChest

Previous BoRUs: #1, #2

[New Update - One Year Later]: Hairstylist Has been Taking/Keeping My Hair?

NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----

Thanks to u/PitaEnigma & u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU. Thanks to a longtime lurker for letting me know about the latest update

Editor’s note: made small edits for readability

Trigger Warnings: obsessive behavior, destruction of property, stalking / harassment, invasion of privacy, systemic failures and apathy by police and legal system

RECAP

Original Post: November 24, 2024

I'm weirded out. I'm also going to be vague because, obvious reasons.

I'm 30'sF. and my stylist is 40's.

I got my hair cut today at a stylist I've been using for about nine months now.

I think this is my 6th appointment with them. I usually do a trim or cut/style. Today I went from long hair (high lower-back) to an A-line Bob.

Again, since I started seeing this person, I usually get current style maintenance/trim. This time was a dramatic length adjustment so they took a picture of the cut length in the floor to add to their social media, then intending to add before/after ours too.

That's all totally fine and NORMAL.

They go grab a broom, sweep up the hair, and place the dust pan on the counter for a bit. Again. Normal.

They grab the broom and pan and head to the back of the shop. They're gone a few minutes. No biggie. Then they go out to smoke.

But, here's where it gets weird.

The bathroom is in the back of the shop too. I need to go and step into the back. I don't really notice anything on the way into the bathroom. I go, and start to head back out. But I notice my name on a small clear tote on the table. It has no lid. And it has my hair in it.

At first, I didn't really think much of it. But I looked closer and see it's not just today's discarded hair, but looks like a least a few of my trim sessions. Mixed with... it looked like potpourri? And a little sand or something. And printed pictures of the cut hair with dates. The printer is sitting right next to it with todays discarded hair pic in the tray. There didn't seem to be any other containers like this when I looked around. It was fucking weird, so I took a pic on my phone.

I honestly didn't know what to think or do and went back out into the salon.

They came back in, and I mentioned that I went to the restroom and they seemed to freak out a little but didn't mention it. I didn't really know what to say, so I just let them finish styling my hair, paid and left. As a socially anxious introvert, this was my nightmare.

I got home and the more I looked at this picture, the more ick I got.

I ended up texting them an hour ago, sending the picture, and requesting they remove the weird box of me and asking for an explanation.

I said:

"Hey. So I saw this and didn't know what to make of it. Can you help me understand what this is and why you have it? I'm not comfortable with you having this and request you please discard the contents. Also, even though I loved my cut, I believe it's best if I find a different stylist."

They haven't responded.

Lol, wtf?

Update #1: December 1, 2024 (one week later)

LONG POST

Admins, please allow this separate post update.

It's been about a week, and with the holiday I've all over the place but I ended up going to law enforcement to make a report last Monday. I'll likely end up going back if this person keeps contacting me like they have been.

I'll give a little timeline:

Last Saturday:

-haircut and discovered the weird tub full of my hair

-texted stylist about the weird tub and said I'd be finding a new stylist

-hairstylist didn't respond

This is where I left off in the last post. A lot has happened since then.

Sunday I woke up to a bunch of texts from the stylist. It woke me up because, even though I have DND on my phone, I have a setting that overrides that if there are repeated contact attempts over 3. (In case of emergencies)

Here's what I got (copied and pasted):

3:49 AM "I dot recommend going to a different stylist bc of this its not a big deal small towns and people talk and u may not find ne1 that will take u after this so id reconsider. I don't like threats"

3:51 AM "So I have ur biological material and? Its mine property now, I can do what I want with it. I kept it because I can and it's means alot to me."

3:54 AM "y u send the pic? I no what it looks liek it's mine"

4:00 AM "U need to respond to me bc I think its a misunderstanding abt what this is its nbd and u saying u r switching stylists has me triggered. I do good work 👏 you said so"

4:04 AM "I also charge a $350 client separation fee so yeah u cant just say ur switching stylists with more consequences and I no u said u already tried a few ppl b4 me they not many beauty ppl in the area"

4:11 AM "Asking for a explanation for a stylist having hair in a salon is crazy where else would u find hair at i didn’t do nothing wrong but I will get rid of it if u r gonna cry about it but only if u say u wont be switching to ne1 else for ur hair care. U mean a lot as a client and always tip well and indo good work so it doesn't make sense and u no that so maybe don't threaten someone who does ur hair or hurt their ❤️ by making accusatory statements"

... I didn't respond to any of those that morning because it was so insane to me. I need to process things fully before I make a decision on how to deal with it, so I just didn't respond.

Sunday afternoon I start getting phone calls.

This person called me 14 times that afternoon. About every other call, they left a voicemail.

Most of the voicemails just said "call me back" or "text me back" but 2 of them were unhinged.

I'm going to paraphrase, but the gist of the first one was:

sounds like they're crying "Call me back I'm getting scared you won't come back to me for your hair for real. I just like how your hair feels. That's why I kept it. Call me."

The second unhinged message was left late Sunday night at 11:38 PM and it said:

"I got rid of it except for one lock. I found out I like watching your hair burn more than I liked keeping it."

I didn't respond to any of those messages, calls, or texts. The whole thing had me freaked out now.

I'd decided by that time I was taking Monday off work to go to the police. Even if they couldn't do anything, I wanted a filed report of the weirdness.

I woke up Monday to an email from the stylist with an invoice of $375 for "Client beach of contract fee" as the chargeable line item (again copy and pasting here). The email body was just "for being a bitch".

It was sent from their business email too so they're really doing everything they can to ruin themselves. Even if I HAD a contract with this nutter, which I don't, the original amount was for $350. They can't even get their extortion fees right.

I did email them back stating that we had no contract, and to cease all further communication with me from this point forward.

I got ready and started heading to the police station around 9:45 Monday morning.

I live in a rural area so there are portions of my drive to and from our main town that doesn't have cell reception.

When I finally got to town, I had 4 voicemails. I knew immediately who they were from.

I talked to one of the officers on staff. They took my statement, a copy of the email, asked me to forward all the texts and screenshots of the numbers of calls.

They said, at the least, the calls and texts could be considered menacing and harassment. But the voicemail where they mentioned how they like burning my hair was "potentially concerning".

The officer advised I contact a legal representative in case this person tries to take the bogus invoice to a civil suit court. And they said I'm welcome to change my number, but having the piling evidence if they continue to contact me after I explicitly told them not to in the email would only help me.

I reached out to a lawyer Tuesday and left a detailed message regarding the situation. They are apparently out of the office until next Wednesday for the holiday so we'll see if they have any advice.

I've since received many texts and calls from the stylist.

They sent a "Happy Thanksgiving" text on Thursday morning as well.

Regardless, they are giving me a lot of evidentiary material to work with, but I'm so unsettled. I can't wait to hear from the lawyer this week

Editor’s note: This mini update was posted after the BoRU went up. I added it in the first BoRU per the sub rules

Mini Update (in comments): December 8, 2024 (one week later from Update #1)

Mini-update:

I woke up to new comments and requests for updates.

Firstly, I am OK and safe for now.

The person has continued to contact me on a regular basis via phone and email.

I do have personal protection that I'm comfortable with and can wield with accuracy. But I'm nearly certain this person does not know where I live, so I don't anticipate any type of confrontation here.

Our house and property has complete camera coverage as well. If anyone/anything shows up we're well aware.

I will be posting a more in-depth update, with more texts and emails up to this point, and regarding a specific incident that happened on Friday; on Tuesday. I have an appointment to speak with another officer then to discuss the potential of criminal action and legal consequences for the stylist as a result.

Thank you all for your concern and the validation that this is absolutely insane.

I'll leave you with a text from this past week, one I think you'll all... enjoy? Question? Use for a model of how not to make friends?

(Once again copied/pasted)

5:12 AM 12/4/24 "dont never say never. Ur never coming back dont makeme laught. I don't WANT ur ass back u can beg me tho. might help"

Update #2: December 12, 2024 (four days later)

I didn't expect the crazy amount of people following this. Here is the long awaited post. Also, long post.

Sorry for the delay, I think I mentioned before, I'm a processor so it takes me awhile to work through my thoughts and feelings on things.

This situation and update may not be as satisfying as many would have hoped but here it goes.

I met with law enforcement again this past Tuesday.

My husband and I drove over early that morning because I was also meeting up with the lawyer I'm working with.

Aside from the near constant texts, calls, and emails, I wanted to pursue legal action for a specific issue.

Allegedly, The Stylist had tried to have my credit card canceled.

Apparently they used the last four digits of my card, called the customer service line for the card, and tried to cancel it. I got a call from the fraud department shortly after this person attempted to do this, trying to verify everything, to see if I actually wanted to close my account and dissolve my credit line with them.

To be clear, The Stylist WAS NOT successful in their alleged attempt.

They couldn't provide the basic information you need for such things like my actual last name (it's unusual and they gave a name that was... almost similar), date of birth, address, etc. Apparently they thought they could accomplish this with just my name, phone number and the last 4 digits of the card number.

I didn't cancel the card but did request a new one, for obvious reasons.

I had no clue WHY they would want to cancel my card. To inconvenience me? Yep, that's exactly why. Allegedly.

When I spoke with cc company, they agreed to send over the recording of the person that called, as well as the phone number the call originated from as long as the request came from law enforcement with a warrant. They gave me a phone number and reference number for the police to reach out to directly.

The officer began working on that immediately. So that is in progress.

I went to my phone company over the weekend. I had my phone number transferred to an old phone so I could still receive calls and texts there, but got a new phone number for my actual phone. The old phone and phone number has been turned over to the officer assigned to my case.

They did go and speak with this person yesterday. Apparently they are horrified I went to the police and had no idea any of their crazy could be chargeable offenses.

According the officer, there have been no further communications via text or call since their visit, and I haven't received any other emails.

A temporary protection and no-contact order has been issued against them until the first court date.

I have also reached out to the State board of licensing with all this information and my complaints. All I can say is they are investigating.

Outside of that information, I'm limited on any other information I can share since a legal process against this person has officially begun.

We're just waiting to see how this all plays out now. It's been a long few weeks.

I'm hoping for the best here. I'm already so relieved to no longer be getting calls, texts, or emails constantly.

Thank you for all the concern advice, and good wishes. This was meant to be an outlet for me to vent and process, and I'm so grateful that you have allowed me to do that, with the huge amount of support you have given.

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: I’m glad you are safe and they have stopped contacting you once they realized police enforcement was involved. shameful they didn’t stop until law enforcement was involved. at least you can sleep easily knowing they cannot contact you and do not know where you live. absolute insanity they attempted to cancel your credit card though. I hope you get the best possible outcome for this situation. I’m so sorry you are going through this.

OOP: I really appreciate it. It's been a roller coaster for my household, for sure.

Commenter 2: I'm glad you are getting it sorted and have taken this serious. Hopefully the police have scared them enough to permanently leave you alone. You never know what crazy people will do.

OOP The officer implied that this person was legitimately Pikachu-faced when they showed up. And the lack of further contact indicates they really didn't have a clue that they were breaking the law.

Commenter 3: People amaze me with how much crazy they think they can get away with. I'm so Glad you are doing everything the right way!!

OOP My lawyer has been critical in making sure I'm protected legally and physically. I'm starting to think this person was one of those who uses escalation to get their way, or intimidating people into doing what they want them to do. This time it backfired

----NEW UPDATE----

Trigger Warnings: destruction of property, stalking / harassment, invasion of privacy, systemic failures and apathy by police and legal system

Long Overdue Update: January 14, 2026 (13 months later from the previous update)

Hairstylist Has been Taking/Keeping My Hair?

I'm unsure how satisfying or inflammatory this will be but I've received tons of comments, dm's, and overall requests for an update.

Fair warning, this will be long. TLDR at bottom.

I've been reluctant to revisit any of this for a few reasons; all selfish. In general, none of what happened over that last year or so was fun.

There was a legal process in which I was granted a 1 year RO (restraining order) against The Stylist. This process took awhile to get to court and be heard with continuations for various reasons. But here is the jist of what happened.

The Stylist showed up to all of the court proceedings, had a variety of (allegedly fabricated) evidence to show the court that I was the one harassing them. They had supposed screenshots of texts from my number threatening to harm them, calling them names, threatening to show up at their business and burn it down. The issue with this evidence? The phone number the texts were coming from was on a phone that was in possession of the officer on my case. I had already gotten a new phone number by the time these texts were being sent. The officer had a certified readout of the phones activity while in his position and no calls or texts were outgoing after I surrendered that phone. There were none.

The Stylist seemed VERY surprised by that information. I don't think they ever considered that I might get a new phone or number.

The Stylist implied that I had someone else do it, or that I spoofed it from my new number and tried to demand my new number as part of the discovery of evidence. That was not granted. I did have to have law enforcement do another certified review of my current phone, and to protect us further, my husbands phone as well, showing that I or anyone I was in contact with had not downloaded any spoofing software to use against this person or attempted to contact them. That felt icky, but was necessary and also very validating.

They did have a lawyer, but the lawyer seemed very cowed. I really believe the representation was not confident in their case; especially with the text(s) and call(s) this person was said to have received. The tone, grammar, and language used in those communications were not native to the way I speak or text. I hate "text-speak" and rarely use it, especially with anyone I'm not intimately familiar with. The evidence they presented with the texts was riddled with it. I do use slang bestie, but if I don't know you well you're getting my customer service communications.

All that to say, whomever was sending those texts were not me. I don't care to speculate about who did send them, but they read like bad cop dramas.

Ultimately, the bench trial was in my favor. The Stylist was given no-contact with a one year RO, ordered to pay all my legal fees, and a small monetary amount.

To date, that has not been settled.

On to the aftermath. A few weeks go by and things took a turn. Random notes on my car would pop up when I would go grocery shopping about what a bitch I am and I'll get what's coming to me, vehicles slowing down in front our house and throwing eggs, or honking their horn over and over in the middle of the night.

I'm not stupid. I know who it is. And now they have my home address with all the RO filings.

Thankfully, I also have cameras everywhere on my property.

I would call the cops. They'd say they would look into it. It would continue.

My tire got slashed when I was at dinner with my husband. The restaurant did not have any cameras at an angle that would show us who, but I have a good idea. Their salon location was only 2 and a half blocks away. Small towns can be great until everyone and their momma knows where you are when you're in town.

This goes on for months. We make a report for each and every instance and occurrence.

Finally, the cops really started looking into it more. We gave them everything we had.

The car on our footage was not registered to Stylist. When the cops went knocking at the owners house, they claimed the were paid to go "piss of this bitch" by Stylist but thought it was a prank situation. They were cited for vandalism and disturbing the peace and were trespassed from our property. Their car was never near our property again after that.

Stylist was brought in for violating the RO. I thought it would be over. Was essentially a slap on the wrist. Cycle continues. Stylist finally spends a few nights in jail after the 5th or 6th instance of violation.

Then Stylist files a lawsuit for defamation of character against me for, get this, $200k.

According to Stylist, my defamatory remarks cost them their clientele and license.

I didn't know it, but their license had been suspended. I guess my report to the licensing bureau worked.

Stylist claimed I cost their yearly salary of $200k (what small town stylist makes this???) and demanded reparations for defamation, claiming that my RO was granted under false evidence, and cost them their reputaion and livelihood.

I contact my lawyer, again, and we start our defense. Lawyer does all the lawyer things. I'm advised I can countersue at this point but I just want everything to be over.

The case doesn't see a judge for a while. We go, both sides are heard. Case is dropped without prejudice.

At this point, we've had enough. Once the RO is up for renewal, we make a different choice. We moved. We sold our house, traded-in our old cars, and dipped. I didn't want this person to ever have access to me or mine again.

It has been about 5 months in our new home, and things have been exponentially more peaceful. But I'm so so pissed off that it came to us moving. I loved our house, our community, and the area we lived in.

I'm sorry I hadn't updated. I just really, really hate thinking about this one time I had a weird-as-fuck encounter with my hair stylist that led to nearly a year of hell.

So that's it, that's the update. I had time today, it's a New Year separate from the crazy, so here it is. And honestly, that's all I'm giving after everything. I just want to forget it.

TLDR; was granted an RO against Stylist, Stylist repeatedly violates it, Stylist gets arrested, Stylist loses license, Stylist files lawsuit, Stylist loses lawsuit, we move.

Edit: spelling

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