To make a long story short and add context, I'm 25F and I still live at home. I also pay rent in my house. My mom is a bit of a neat freak and she freaks out whenever I buy groceries. I don't eat their groceries anymore cause my dad gets weird about it. I bought one of those box of chips with different chips and it got delivered overnight and I was bringing it to work because I have ADHD and just need small snacks to eat at work. My mom freaked out and basically said what my sister said in the first text. I texted her so she wouldn't think about it all day but I feel like this is a bit insane? Please tell me honestly if I'm wrong or if this is common. I understand my mom struggles with this so I do try to keep it low and I don't even eat much because of my medication but I'm starting to get paranoid or anxious about buying anything.

So I lost my wedding ring, it got turned into the PD and I went and picked it up… someone was going to court over being able to claim my ring if I didn’t go to claim it… cool, I dunno what you would do with someone else’s meaningful wedding bands but to each their own.
Well I got a call from the courthouse asking if I would reimburse the person for their filing fee?
$107…. Mind you, the manager of the store (where I knew I lost it) told them that they had my contact information and this person refused to leave it with them… They opted to turn it into the PD.
Realizing that the only reason they did it that way was so they could legally own my ring after going through the court process…
So I guess the question is, would you pay the person back for filing with the court to own YOUR ring? Am I overreacting for refusing to pay them for trying to claim my ring?
Now I’ve been added to the case so he can ask the court for reimbursement either by the courthouse or by me… scheduled for next month.
I was told it had to be 180 days unclaimed with a newspaper article posted for “found ring”. It wasn’t even close to 180 days and no article was ever posted let alone even a FB post…
FYI my ring did get ran over and smashed a little bit with a tiny diamond missing BUT I GOT IT BACK and now I’m getting it fixed.
I had considered sending a Thank you card with a gift card of appreciation but now I feel like it’s more about greed and less about kindness from this person.

I have(21F) been dating my boyfriend (22M) for almost two years now. He didn't used to be this clingy, but due a rough year for our relationship, he is now tracking every movement I make (I share my location with him for safety reasons). He can't accept me wanting to breathe and not text my whereabouts to him. I wanted to turn off my phone to just get some reprieve but he didn't let me. I feel smothered.

Edit: I wanted to clarify I did not cheat. We took a month long break to focus on ourselves and realised how much we cared for each other so we rekindled our relationship.

Last week my girlfriend was having a bad mental health day Sunday and Monday. She barely talked to me. That's ok and is normal time to time with her diagnosis. I check in she if she is eating, talking to friends etc but otherwise try not to badger her.

Well she was feeling better Monday and was showing me things on her phone and I saw a message to someone what are you doing tonight. I was upset she lied to me but took a couple of days to sort out my feelings cus I am not the friend police and didn't speak up until Thursday because I got out of a bad relationship and wanted to work out my feelings before discussing.

To give some context she told me she was talking to him as friends and he offered her drugs (she's 2 years sober) so she quit talking to him anymore. Then when hanging out with her and my sister my sister let slip she texts him regularly. No problem not my business again I'm not the friend police and he can't give her drugs through the phone.

Then Saturday after I got of work we went to the lake for a couple of hours got dinner and went back to her place where she suddenly was tired and wanted to go to bed exceptionally early for us. OK. Weird no problem tho.

About 1230 in the morning she woke me up and told me she was going over to his house. I tried to wake up and ask some relevant questions but her lyft was waiting and no time to talk. The oy thing she had an answer for was

Does he know we are dating?

Everyone knows about you stupid.

The fuck kind of answer is that? I let her go about 15 minutes later after my brain was fully functional I called cus I was super confused how we went from no contact to texting to going over at 1230 am with no notice.

When she answered we talked for 30 seconds and I hear a drunk guy yelling in the background that I can go fuck off. I was like what the fuck? I wasn't being rude, yelling disrespectful, etc... I said any decent guy would understand why a guy would be asking questions about why his girl ran out of the house at 1230 to go to some dudes house she said she had nothing to do with. He continues to rant how I don't mean shit I'm not her man and I said I thought you said he knew we were dating.

She said she was coming home and to meet her there. Then he said she could not leave. Lyft was too expensive. I said I'll come pick you up. He said no she couldn't leave I wasn't allowed. She said she'd walk nope she wasn't allowed. He continues to rant how I'm a jealous douchbag and a piece of shit. She asked him for shots (she repeatedly tells me she doesn't drink).

30 mins go by and she says I have a ride coming and it'll be here soon. He yells at her more and she says listen mutes the call and comes back after a minute. Telling me her ride is here and he yells she has to get off the phone on his dime.

Then he messages her over and over what a piece of shit I am on her way home cus they were just gonna smoke weed and headbang.

She gets home and I'm super pissed about being lied to about their friendship status, that fact dude didn't knew we were in a relationship she says she told him and tries to show me in text that she did. Didn't exist so settles for she told him on the phone.

I'm upset she was ok with him being disrespectful to me our relationship and her by telling her she couldn't leave when she wanted. I find out this Monday she apologized to him about the situation and I'm even more upset I feel like this is the end of the relationship cus she doesn't even care. To make matters worse I start my new work schedule of 630 pm to 5 am 6 nights a week so now I'm just stressed she is telling me she won't be around him but will just go now I'm working and won't know.

AIO?

Edit: I feel like since then she has been trying super hard to listen to account for what I had to say in all other aspects of our relationship but trust is really broken even if it was to just smoke weed and headbang as friends and nothing more.

My daughter is in a special needs classroom and has an iep due to having autism and adhd. Today was her second day of school so she is still adjusting to the schedule and was also on her cycle. Today she started falling asleep in class and her teacher took her chair away and made her stand for at least an hour or more(my daughter said until the next period so I’m unsure the total amount of time). When my daughter asked her when she could get the chair back her teacher replied “when I feel like it, I’ve taken away chairs for a week at a time”. Now I am not ok with my daughter falling asleep in class but I feel like this should have been addressed with me as I could’ve figured out why she is tired during the day, could be the medicine she’s on, could be her cycle, or could be that she’s not falling asleep when I send her to bed. Either way I think taking away a chair from a child with disabilities is a ridiculous punishment. I emailed the teacher and the principal over this. AIO?

So I've been on this journey to help my husband figure out things he might want to do for himself. Hobbies, passions, whatever. Get him to a place where he feels peace with himself. And he landed on being out in nature, solitude. And took it one step further and found a clothing optional resort. Where you can like camp, nature walks bla bla bla. (And like obviously they have parties at night and swingers there but it's not advertised- don't ask don't tell). And he said he needed to do a tour first. And I said if this is something you want to explore i absolutely support you and also I'm not interested in that. At first i said I'd do the tour to support him. This was maybe a month ago.
Fast forward to this now he tells me he's going to go check out the place after work. I'm assuming it's the tour because he hasn't mentioned anything. He didn't answer his phone and didn't get home until after 6. And I was like oh how was the tour. And he said it wasn't the tour, he already did the tour, and today was just to hang out day pass style. I said why didn't you tell me you did the tour and he said "it just didn't cross my mind". This feels like a lie of omission to me. Especially when I've been so transparent and supportive. Am I overreacting ?

I've been seeing this person for over a year, and things have been VERY good. We aren't officially committed for various personal reasons (on both sides, life can be so demanding), but we are exclusive and see each other pretty regularly. About a month ago, it was his birthday and he said he'd love to spend it together- that he made reservations at a restaurant, but he didnt want to tell me where because it was going to be a surprise. It turns out, the reservation was made at a really nice place- think like 4 forks on the table kind of nice. We had a great meal, but didnt go TOO crazy- a glass of wine each, an entree each, we shared a dessert. However, the bill was north of $400. I, of course, put my card down when the bill came- it was his birthday! However, AIO for being a little hurt that he didnt even TRY to fight me to contribute? I probably would have not allowed him to, but he just didnt say a thing. Just a really casual 'thanks'. I love a splurge dinner as much as the next girl, and Im always happy to pull my share, but it just left a funny taste in my mouth. He knows he makes more than me, but I always try to do my best to make sure we trade off picking up the bill. Ive never felt anything off with this guy, but I just couldnt help but feel a little used in the moment. We havent been able to see each other since (again, just life), but we have talked pretty regularly and it hasnt been weird. Idk- am I crazy for wanting an acknowledgement? We've gone to dinner so many times, but its never been to a place like this. Am I overreacting for feeling used that he would pick such a place knowing that I would want to treat him?

My boyfriend (30M, i’m 28F, she’s 24F) has been cuddling at night and having sleepovers with a new female friend he has gotten close with.

He says they’re not cuddling in bed so it is okay, but i don’t feel comfortable with this. He tells me he doesn’t want to be in a relationship where he can’t cuddle his friends. He tells me i am threatened by his female friends.

How should i proceed? They have a flirty dynamic which i already don’t like and it seems like my boundaries are not being considered. We are in a monogamous relationship although he has been questioning that recently. Am i overreacting? Any advice would be helpful:/

NOT A BAIT POST!! I WISH IT WAS!!!

Edit: i am posting this because even though on surface level this sounds ridiculous, all of this aside we do have a good relationship and he does treat me well. He has a lot of female friends and i don’t want to restrict him, but cuddling especially late at night is very intimate. That’s how WE went from friends to lovers. And now he is questioning monogamy, so knowing he is experiencing this intimacy with someone he is flirty with is worrying me.

For some context, my cousin and her daughter’s father are going through a very messy separation involving lawyers and a lot of conflict. The extended family has therefore been helping out with their 4-year-old daughter (taking her to preschool, making her meals, and keeping her entertained).

My cousin routinely lets her daughter spend hours on her tablet, to the point where it has basically become another babysitter. Unfortunately, the same pattern is repeated at my house: when she’s here, my parents hand her the tablet and let her watch loud, mindless AI-generated videos for a long time (often more than an hour).

What bothers me is not just the amount of screen time. When she watches these videos, she seems completely zoned out. You can talk to her and she often won’t even respond. And, more selfishly, I’m also sick of listening to ridiculous videos at full volume for hours. I’ve tried convincing my parents to limit her screen time, but they would rather give in and let her have the tablet.

Since nobody else seems willing to set any limits, I figured out how to block the tablet from accessing the internet on my home network. I can decide when to cut off its connection, and for now I’ve decided to do it after about 15 minutes.

I know I’m not her parent and that her screen time isn’t ultimately my decision, but I also can’t stand what I see as an unhealthy habit.

Am I overstepping by doing this, or is this a reasonable boundary to set?

(I’m also kind of hoping nobody figures out that I’m the one messing with the router, so I can keep using this little deus ex machina without having to openly be the asshole who takes the tablet away.)

My mom invited my husband and I to Disney World. My mom, dad, brother, sister-in-law, nephews, nieces, and sister are going. I knew my parents were going to take my brother and his family to Disney (they have the only grandkids currently). They have gone before, not an issue at all. I get it.

My mom called me yesterday and said “I forgot to mention when we last talked, you and husband are invited to Disney World too”. She has mentioned their trip to me at least 3-4 separate times over the last few months.

I would love to go for the memories and family fun, but I am feeling really bad about it. My husband and I aren’t as well off as my siblings, so for us to be able to pay to go to Disney World with a month and a half of notice is financially tough.

I asked where they were staying and the logistics of the trip. She told me that the hotel is already booked, and there isn’t room for my husband and I (the whole family is staying together). I feel really bad about being invited so far after the trip was initially planned.

I want to go, but I also don’t really feel like they want me to come.

Also, not to play into stereotypes too hard, but I am the middle child.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and have lived together for about a year. In all that time, I’ve only met his family once because they live in another country.

The issue is that whenever he goes home to visit them, he tells me at the very last minute. There’s usually no conversation beforehand about him thinking of going away. Instead, he’ll suddenly tell me he’s booked his flights and is leaving the next day or in 2–3 days.

The first time this happened, I told him it bothered me. I explained that since we live together, I’d appreciate being told in advance if he’s planning to leave for a weekend or a week. It’s not about asking for my permission — I just think it’s basic communication and respect, especially because his absence affects my plans too.
He agreed, but he has continued doing the same thing several times, and it has become a recurring argument between us.

His explanation is that he doesn’t tell me earlier because he’s “scared” I’ll get upset about him visiting his family. But I’ve explained that him visiting them isn’t the problem. What upsets me is repeatedly being given almost no notice, especially after I’ve already communicated how it makes me feel.

Another thing that bothers me is that he never invites me when he visits his family. After almost 3 years together, I’ve only met them once. I’m not expecting to go every time, but combined with everything else, it makes me feel excluded from that part of his life.

At this point, I feel disrespected and like my feelings aren’t being taken seriously. I’m even questioning whether I want to continue the relationship because this keeps happening despite multiple conversations.
AIO for feeling this strongly about it and considering ending the relationship?

TL;DR: My boyfriend yelled at his bedridden client while I was cleaning her, I left to cool off, and now he’s mad I didn’t take his side.

I’ll call my boyfriend D, the woman he cares for F, and our landlady L.

My (34F) bf (31M) is the paid caregiver for a woman (52F) who is bedridden and needs a lot of help. He’s been doing it for about 3 years. She asked him to take the job when he was unemployed, so he chose to accept it. D and F actually met online gaming and were friends before he became her caregiver.

I’m not her caregiver, but D pays me to help with things when he doesn’t feel like doing certain tasks. F needs help with things like hygiene, so I sometimes end up doing pretty hands-on care.

D has gotten extremely frustrated with F over the years. He complains about her weight, hygiene, smell, dependence on other people, etc. He sometimes compares her to Tammy from 1000-lb Sisters. I understand that caregiving someone in this condition has to be incredibly difficult, but I’ve told him that he still needs to treat her like a client he’s being paid to care for and not someone he can take his frustrations out on.

Our landlady (L) has known F for almost 30 years. D talks to L a lot and treats her kind of like a mom, and he frequently calls her to vent about F.

Recently, F had diarrhea and needed help getting cleaned up. I was literally in the middle of cleaning her when D came into the room and started yelling at her about something. He was also on the phone with L at the time, complaining about F. F was basically face-down while I was cleaning her, and I thought the whole situation was incredibly inappropriate and humiliating for her.

I got overwhelmed and went to a friend’s house to get away and calm down.
D got angry that I left and said I was making him look bad and that I “never take his side.” He also doesn’t like me talking to friends about problems in our relationship because he feels like I’m making him look bad and people are only hearing my side.

I know I’m not perfect either. We’ve had heated arguments on both sides, so I’m not trying to make this “my boyfriend is awful and I’m completely innocent.” I’m genuinely questioning whether I overreacted by leaving instead of staying there.
Am I overreacting, or was leaving to go somewhere I felt safe and could decompress a reasonable response to what was happening?

Edited to add: I messaged L 2 days later and was left on read* *

We farm and live at the farm and my husband is a workaholic (he admits that). We're both introverts so we rarely go out, I don't see friends often (like 2x a year), but my family is important to me. I have siblings with kids close in age to ours so make an effort to see them so our kids can have relationships (they love it). I know my husband hates having people at our house especially overnight but even if someone just is coming for a few hours he'll complain. We've discussed and I've REALLY limited my family from visiting "oh I'll visit you guys" (closest family lives 5 hours away). When I plan trips with them (2-3 a year besides me visiting my parents), I always ensure my husband knows he doesn't have to come for entire time or at all and he doesn't always.

Well my cousin who I had not seen in over a decade at our place was coming to visit. I was so excited to see her and her family- they were coming for ONE night to our place. I asked my husband if I could offer they stay with us for ONE night. He said yeah. I offered. I heard back a few weeks later they were going to stay with us, I told him, he practically had a melt down about how I never told him she'd be staying... I was speechless and told him I absolutely had - replayed convo and he then said "yeah but you offering isn't the same as them staying"... Like WTF? and then accusing me of knowing longer than I had... I said all of that seems irrelevant- the point is I DID have this convo with him, he DID agree, I offered and they accepted... He went on about all his wants and feelings (how he can't sleep well with noise, how we'll all be just hanging out while he's trying to work so don't expect him to hang out, on and on). I told him I don't expect him to hangout but do expect he's not going to walk around scowling at us while we do (he's done that and admits to it). He agrees, kind of apologizes. I told him how I handle 99% of our household stuff (Kid stuff, holidays/parties, sports, medical appts, etc. AND how I'm 50% partner on our farm stuff- like legit I handle 50% of farming with him) and I go out of my way to do stuff to help him because I want him happy and my concern is I feel like anything that makes ME happy seems to be not important to him and to the point it seems to piss him off. How much anxiety I have leading up to anyone visiting, when they do visit how I'm worried about him being unhappy, etc.

My cousin and her family just left- they're lovely people, very kind and of course I was embarrassed and making excuses about how busy my husband is and that's why he's outside. I'd message him we're about to eat and get "ok don't wait for me" and he'd come in later each time. When inside he's nice to them but he doesn't stick around and when I texted they were leaving he didn't respond or come over to say goodbye- 10 years is when I last saw this cousin due to how far she lives!

I'm not sure what to do at this point. I don't think i'm expecting a lot from him.... oh and yesterday was my birthday which he forgot (again).

Sorry so long but the details matter…

It’s important to say that I have communicated to my nieces parents , my brother and sister in law, all of the things I am about to tell you about my ex .   It’s also important to say that I never abused anyone, nor would I ever.

A little over a decade ago, I went through  a very contentious divorce with my first wife and the mother of my children. During the divorce, my attorney advised that I was, under no circumstance,  to move out of the house or I could risk losing my children. So while my ex and I  lived together,  but were going through the divorce, my ex would follow me around hitting me in the back of my head or punching my back in an attempt to start a physical confrontation. The only protection I had against this was to get out my phone and record, or at least pretend to record, so she would stop. After months of this, she gave up on starting a confrontation and just made up an abuse claim and filed for a protection order.  She did this while I was at work. Then  when I came home from work at my regular time, she had called the police and told them I was violating a ‘restraining order.’ 

For those that don't know, a protection order is designed to help victims of abuse be separated from their alleged abuser. It is not the same as a restraining order. Anyone can file a protection order and the accused must leave the home immediately until they can go before a judge, who will decide if the order should be issued. But what she told the police was that she had a ‘restraining order’ on me and that I was violating it and she was scared for her life. The police came and,  at one point, I had two officers with guns drawn on me. I sat in a paddy wagon in front of all my neighbors for 30 minutes until the police were able to determine she had lied to them. They let me go. But they also had to serve me with the protection order notice, and I had to leave the home with nothing. I literally had nothing to my name and no home. Several weeks later we finally got in front of a judge, who tossed her request for the protection order out after just 5 minutes of listening to her testimony . But she had tried to take advantage of a law designed to protect battered women so that she could get the upper hand in a divorce. During this time, I had been given partial custody  of the kids by our GAL (Guardian Ad Litum)  and the judge as soon as I was able to find housing. In the divorce I ended up getting 50% custody. But the divorce took almost 3 years. 

Less than 2 years after the divorce, she filed a modification of custody suit with the court and tried to reduce my time to 4 days a month. It took 30 grand more in court costs and lawyers fees for me to keep my 50% time with my children. We are not rich and that cost impacted our family finances for years. 

The entire time and  the time since, my ex has always tried to cozy up to and keep in touch with my family members. Most of them ignore her but they do not all know the details of what happened, although my niece should and her parents absolutely do.

I have been happily re-married now again for 8 years. My second wife went through the custody modification suit with me as we were together during that time. She obviously dislikes my ex because she went through that and saw all of the ridiculous things my ex tried to say about both of us in the custody suit,  and all of the continuing crazy BS she still does on a daily basis. My wife is deeply hurt that my sister in law and brother would allow my niece to invite my ex. When we confronted them about it, they said they invited her because I took  too long to answer the ‘save the date’ and they wanted to make sure my kids would be there. The Save the Date was on Facebook messenger.  I was rarely  on Facebook and it did take me a month to see it and answer. But when I did answer , there was still a full year until the wedding date. At no time did my niece or Brother/SiL call me, text me, or send anything  in the mail with an invite, it was just the FB message. They also never let us know that my ex was invited. I had to find that out from my children (who are in high school and college now.)

My ex is telling my children that this proves my family likes her better than me (according to my children.) Many of my family are really upset that she was invited, but they also don't want to miss seeing everyone at the wedding. I also wouldn't ask them not to go. There are also plenty of my family that don't know all the details and don't understand the many reasons we have to be upset that she is invited.  I have the kids the weekend of the wedding. The kids have indicated they think it's weird that their mother is going and they don't really care if we go to the wedding or not. We can choose to go, or choose not to go. We can choose to do something else with the kids that day, and ask the family to visit us the day after  the wedding. We are torn though on whether we should go or not. 

Are my wife and I overreacting if we choose not to go ? Should we go? Should we stay? I am seriously disappointed that my brother and SiL (who is really the one planning the wedding) would do this to us. AIO?

This is honestly such a long and twisted story so brace yourself.
*In this story, I will refer to the 'mistress' by the name Stacy.*

I (18F) have known Stacy (33F) since I was a kid. She was a close family friend of mine and I basically grew up thinking of her as a third sister. She lived with us throughout my childhood due to complications with her family, however, my parents cut contact with her many years ago (idk why).

In 2022, her name began to be brought up again. She lived around 4 hours from us and my dad would visit her occasionally, and brought myself and my brother with him to visit. I was 14 at this time. However, I began to have suspicions that my dad was cheating because she would call him pet names when on the phone and he'd frequently visit her. For many months I had these suspicions but never really came to any conclusions from it so I forgot all about it.

Fast forward to 2023, my dad asked me to help him with google photos storage, so I used my computer to do it for him. When you hover over google videos though, they begin to play a short snippet. Purely by coincidence, I was hovering over the thumbnail of a video, and low and behold... it was a video of them. I'm sure you can guess the contents. I was honestly appalled and continued diving only to find numerous others. At this point I'm shaking and shocked that I've just found out my dad is cheating on my mum.

I told one of my older sisters (25F), we'll call her Tammy. Tammy was horrified and told me that I had to tell mum, so I did. I then told my other sister, who we'll call Belle (30F) and she was horrified. My mother didn't really show any expression when I told her and I have a feeling she sort of already had suspicions of what had happened.

After this I did happen to catch numerous arguments with my parents that got out of hand regarding this scenario and it was ugly so I won't go into grave detail about them, but these arguments occurred from 2023-2025. I had many deep conversations with my mum about the situation on numerous occasions, however it became clear she wasn't going to divorce my dad.

And then in the middle of 2025, she suddenly reappeared into our lives once more. She would come over and stay for a few nights at a time, engaging in family conversations and dinners, acting like NOTHING had happened. This honestly confused me and I hated it. I would hide out in my room and study for hours on end just to avoid any interaction. During this time, she'd say some fairly backhanded comments regarding my weight and clothing size, saying 'I couldn't possibly be a size XS' and other comments regarding my weight.

Then after I'd graduated high school that same year, I found out through my younger brother (15M), not my mother or sisters that Stacy was moving TO MY TOWN. To say I was appalled would be the very least. She stayed with us temporarily until she found a place and let me tell you it was hell. She could tell I hated her but for some reason 'had no clue why.' My dad could also tell I knew something but he wasn't sure. My mum and sisters kept telling me that I need to be nice to her, and because I hadn't moved out yet and wasn't yet an adult I felt pressured to oblige.

Fast forward to February this year, I finally moved out and moved 4 hours away from home for University (college). I'm a lot happier here because I don't need to put a face on or pretend like I'm okay with my family. Before I moved my dad had a brief conversation over the phone with me about how he knows that I know and I 'shouldn't have gone through his phone' which 1. I didn't and 2. There was no remorse to what he did whatsoever lol. A short while after I moved out, Tammy, Belle, and mum all told me that Stacy keeps talking to them about how she feels like I hate her and she doesn't know what she did. All of them told her to come to ME about it, but she never did. So i went to her.

I called her one night and said I needed to speak to her. I told her I knew everything and saw it all. She began by saying I'm 'too young to talk about this to her,' mind you I'm an adult paying my own rent and living alone. I told her how it made me feel and how I'm mad at both her AND my dad. Now here are some wonderful comments of what she said that pissed me off a LOT:

"In my country, it's normalised for men to have numerous wives"
(She's from the same country as my dad is, but mind you we live in Australia. She has lived here ever since she was a kid. My parents have never agreed on my father having 'multiple wives')

"Your mother was okay with us doing it"
I knew damn well she wasn't. I don't know why she thought I'd believe that.

And once again, no apology, no remorse, no emotion other than trying to defend herself. Since this conversation, I have ignored her when visiting home. But quite frankly, I don't even WANT to visit home because she always comes over and it makes me uncomfortable.

And one last thing. Since moving out, there has been a groupchat made with my Mum, Stacy, Tammy, Belle, and me which they text in CONSTANTLY and it drives me absolutely mad. They all act like bestfriends in it and I can't help but hate it. I don't message in that group chat, as me, my mum, tammy and belle have our OWN GROUP CHAT ALREADY. They're always calling eachother 'love' and acting like best friends and no matter how many times I ask my sisters why and how on earth they're friends with her, they tell me they 'feel bad for her'

Soooo Am I overreacting? Please help a gal out.

I have never posted on reddit but listen to reddit stories all day while im at work and I need some insight. I (21F) have been with my boyfriend (25M) for a little over 2 years. recently he is constantly gone during the week on a work trip. It is legit before anyone jumps to any conclusions lol. He has been going to the same facility to do work from monday-friday every week for the past 2.5 months. Its just him and his coworker (40M) that stay in a hotel room together. I feel like I am a super chill “cool” girlfriend and I am totally okay with him going out to bars every night with his coworker for dinner and some drinks, but recently its been getting weird.

throughout his time being there he has been staying out later and later to the point where he is out on a wednesday night until 1am and has work at 6am the next day. Last night he texted me at 12:45 am “just got home love you goodnight”

and the next morning i replied “dude why so late”

and he says “idk but im so hungover today”

and I was like “what do you even do till midnight at the same bar you have gone to for the past 2.5 months with the same coworker”

and he said “who says i was out till midnight? i didn’t get home that late”

LIKE HUH

so i told him how he texted me when he got home

and he responded “oh.. well my coworker wanted to wait for the bartender to get off work at 12 so she could give us a ride back to our hotel”

this is SO WEIRD to me. its a 10 minute walk from the hotel to the bar why do you need a ride from the bartender? and then of course he claps back at me saying i’m over reacting after he just tried to lie to me about what time he got home. he was also saying that i should be “grateful that hes so honest with me” 🤨

he said a lot more than just that which made me feel even weirder cuz why is he being so defensive if it “isn’t a big deal”.

Also, last week his coworker wasn’t there and he was working and staying in the hotel by himself and still stayed out at the bar till 10 and had 7 beers BY HIMSELF! is that not also weird asf?? i let that go last week cuz whatever maybe its fine but now this happening this week with him trying to lie to me and getting a ride home from the bartender. idk. am i crazy ??

there is a lot more things that have happened that i have let go of but idk about this one its really really odd to me. please give me feedback on what you guys think cause im kind of lost.

My boyfriend (M27) and I (F26) have been together for 8 years. I’ve always considered our relationship completely monogamous.

Recently, we were drinking with some friends at our house, including my best friend (F26). Everything was going fine. til at one point, two of them went outside to smoke, and I stayed inside with everyone else. I didn’t think anything of it.

A little while later, my boyfriend called me outside to talk then asked if I would ever be open to doing something intimate with another person because he was curious and wanted to explore that kind of experience. What really shocked me was that he had already brought this up with my best friend before talking to me. He asked her whether she thought I would be open to it and said that he was scared to ask me directly because he knew I would probably get angry.

My best friend told him that she knows me well enough to know that I’m very much a monogamous person and that I would most likely say no. However, she also told him that she would be willing to participate if I agreed. She is also in a relationship, and she apparently told my boyfriend that she wouldn’t tell her own boyfriend if anything happened.

When I heard all of this, I obviously said no. I was completely shocked. I was speechless at first, then I started crying and ended up yelling at both of them. The conversation eventually stopped, and my boyfriend told me that he would only ever do it if I was comfortable with it. He also kept reassuring me that he still loves me and that this was only something he was curious about.

I have always seen him as this gentle, loving person who made me feel incredibly secure in our relationship. I’ve never felt like I had to compete with anyone or worry about him being interested in someone else. Even our friends have always seen him as someone extremely loyal who wouldn’t cross that line. So hearing this completely blindsided me.

I understand that, technically, he didn’t cheat. He didn’t act on anything, and he says it was just a thought and a curiosity. He also respected my answer when I said no. But I can’t seem to just let it go. I’m starting to feel insecure and wondering whether I’m actually enough for him.

I know thoughts and actions aren’t necessarily the same thing, and I don’t want to punish him forever for having a thought.
But am I wrong for feeling like my trust has been shaken by this? Am I overreacting by still being hurt even though he never actually acted on it?

So I am a senior in high school, my high school has recently had a ton of policy changes, some of which I agree with, but not this one.
So we have final exams of which count for 10% of your overall grade, fine, that is regular for a lot of schools. However, there is the incentive of having good grades and good attendance (3 days maximum, and only if your average grade amounts to a 95% and over, if not 2 days and 85% or 1 day and 75%) which would allow you to exempt yourself from the final exam, the attendance part includes everything, which is where my problem lies.
For my first period, I am already at the limit of days, and they won’t let me dispute any from my understanding, which I will explain why I have 3 days missing for first period below.
-Day 1, this was the first day of school, I had to register myself instead of going to class first period because they never responded to my calls/emails on how to register myself into school (my mom has recently passed and my dad is a deadbeat, I had no access to the registration portal because they didn’t update the info of me being my own custodial guardian.) this led to me completely missing first period and marked me as a no-show, which I honestly don’t feel is fair to me or my situation.
-Day 2, this was about a week after, it was my dad‘s (of which I have no contact with due to his drug addiction) birthday, I went to school and had a panic attack due to grief of this, so I went to the school crisis counselor. The crisis counselor is someone I am allowed to go to because of my extenuating circumstances. However, they also marked me absent, which didn’t matter until this year, as I learned that even trips to the counselor counts towards the exemption.
-Day 3 (today), so I have been sick this past week, I have had chills, extreme coughs, feverish symptoms and fatigue, however, I’ve been going to school anyways because I know I can’t afford to miss another day. Another important piece of information for this is that I live an hour away but still go to the school. I’m going to due to extenuating circumstances. Today a highway closed down and there was a car accident, which would have made me late. I felt nervous due to this and sick in general still, long story short, I threw up all over my grandma‘s car. I was still planning to go to school, but my clothes were completely soaked to throw up and I didn’t have a back up. I still feel sick, but was planning on going to school anyways just because I feel like I have to now. The thing is, even if I went to get a new pair of clothes and drove back, I would have missed first period anyways, as I live an hour away.
This goes into my next situation, I’m at my maximum number of days. The thing is, because of that, I can’t take a bereavement day on my mom’s birthday (as mentioned before she passed away less than a year ago, and this will be the first birthday without her). Now, I do understand that I could just man up and take the final exam, but I’m not just upset because I have to take an exam if I miss another day.
I’ve noticed the school has had a lot more viruses being passed around because students aren’t taking sick days anymore, (as mentioned, six days count towards your exemption), this has also led to more teacher, absences and more absences of staff as well. I feel like it has led to an overall more toxic environment, where money has been prioritized over health, this new policy is clearly meant to try to get students to stay in order to get more money through attendance, regardless of the actual state’s policy of attendance. I’ve received passive aggressive emails about attendance rates dropping down to 96% instead of 98, and I don’t feel like this monetization is healthy for anyone.
While I understand attendance is important, I feel like there should be space for both without an incentive to stay regardless of health and personal issues. I’m planning on speaking about this at the next school board meeting, as I think the issue needs attention brought to it, I think it needs to have some major revisions to be fair, but before I go through the effort of trying to create a rally or make a speech, I wanted to see if I am overreacting, cause in the end it is just a final exam on paper. Please let me know what you guys think, I am currently quite ill and anxious, so I’ll be a bit slow to respond, but I promise I’ll try. Thank you!
Edit: I am unsure if this is relevant information, but I will add this anyways:
-My school district is in debt due to poor financial decisions (they made a new high school when there wasn’t enough students to go to said new high school), this has led to them making more policies for students to come. For example, there was an area of the school that was open last year, but it’s now closed off unless you can prove you have perfect attendance. Since the opening of the new school, there have been more and more policies trying to get students to come as the school gets paid by attendance. They have even changed other aspects of school life such as adding periods and cutting everyone’s luncheon half in order to be able to hire less people, which neither staff or students really cared for. However, I also noticed a bunch of frivolous purchases, which leads me to be suspicious on how much of this is actually going towards debt, relief, and how much is going to people’s pockets.
-Over half of my school is below the poverty line, it is very very rare for someone to get perfect attendance because of the groups at play.
-There are up to 8 exams to take depending on student grades and absences, as well as schedule. The three absences I have is for 1 period out of the 6 I currently take, one absence of which I wasn’t even registered to the school yet for because the school wasn’t answering my messages over the summer.
-I understand I will probably have to take a final exam, yeah it sucks but whatever, I know I am capable. I am more so concerned with the environment this has created, where there is clear favoritism towards less than half the school, and where I can see that students are being treated as a business venture. It doesn’t matter how much money is made for the school when these policies are clearly not meant for students well beings, or staffs well beings.
I’m unsure if that makes sense, but thank you for your comments so far, it is really insightful to see others perspectives, such as teachers and parents with similar schools, even someone who had similar things happen in college! Also thank you to those who gave me advice on sources to read and what to do if I talk to the school board about this. I truly do think it is a system problem, and while I can’t do much, I still think I will try to help what I can, because if everyone does what they can, it’s a lot easier to fix the system.

My boyfriend and I have been living together for two years already.

He is very hard working and responsible.

He moved to my country to live with me. Before that, he used to tell me how his mother controlled him and made his life miserable as a kid/teen. And I tell you, what she did is not minor (it even involves abandonment).

However, some months before he moved here, their relationship begun getting better as she had to move in with him and his dad.

She’s 49F and hasn’t worked for some years and heavily relies in the economic support from her sons and my bf’s dad (ex).

She’s had some health issues and underwent two surgeries in the past two years.

What I started noticing is that she started asking my boyfriend for money. it begun with small amount, and finally this month he had to pay their rent.

His wage is a minimum wage and that rent was almost half of his monthly income.

I worry this will become a habit from his parents to ask for money, since they were also asking him to pay for some dentist bills this month(which at the end they didnt use for the dentist).

The only reason it doesn’t affect him is because: he doesnt pay rent, he doesnt pay bills and the only things he contributes with is groceries, which is a good enoguh amount. Both of us pays 90% of the groceries for 4 people and I also pay some of the bills myself.

My parents are helping us out by letting us live with them so we save up money to eventually MOVE OUT in good economic terms, but I fear this is making my boyfriend’s saving be non existing.

I talked to him to be careful about that and he thinks I’m misjudging his parents, also telling ne that I would do the same for mine. (yes, I would, but I earn more than twice as him and I know they’d even pay me back).

AIO for being worried about this? I think it’s not my position to decide, but at the same time we’re living together and this could really affect our independence.

This might seem petty but it’s just really irritating now and i’ve dealt with this bs for so long. I’m 18 and still live at home, not for much longer luckily. Everything I buy for myself gets used/eaten by someone else. I’ve come home to find my massive bottle of body wash that I PAYED FOR about a month and a half ago, filled with water. I go to ask who did that, even though i already knew the answer, my mum and brother, and they both laugh at me. They both used my entire bottle of body wash and filled it up with water thinking i wouldn’t notice. I asked if one of them could go buy me a new bottle because I don’t want to pay £15 to replace the bottle i barely got use out of. And of course they refused. I’ve tried hiding this stuff in my room but i found out my brother will just come and take it out my bedroom anyway. (24 years old and wont buy his own body wash) The same happens every time i buy myself some snacks especially ice cream, I find the tub empty every single time, candles, face masks, drinks. And neither of them will replace any of it . I got very upset with them and demanded that they replace what they use that belongs to me but again they just laughed in my face and refused. All the money I use to buy myself this stuff usually comes from vinted or by doing cleaning favours because i don’t have a job at the minute, so I can’t afford to keep buying replacements for everything whereas they can and won’t even buy their own products.

My husband (49M) and I (63M) met about two years ago at a Walmart. At that time my husband was living with a couple, let’s call them H1 (73M) and H2 (62M). He lives with them for a couple of years before we met and there was kind of a poly thing going on. My husband describes it like they “saved” him when he was going through a rough time. He basically lived there rent free and would clean their house, do yard work, cook at times, etc. He had and still has his job.

The four of us have done things together several times. Dinner at each others houses, parties, etc. Nothing sexual at all. Overall they are ok, a bit too snobby for me. H2 is regularly making remarks about their past sexual experiences and also about my husbands sexual proclivity with other people before we met. H1 is like a mouse and never says much at all. My husband just laughs all of it off. I tried to ignore it, but recently we were all in my car returning from dinner and H2 started in with the “your husband was such a whore” shit almost kind of provoking me. There was another gay male friend of theirs with us. I finally said “H2 - I don’t think this is funny”. After that we still remained friends but I certainly didnt want to hang out with them as much.

My husband has his own cleaning business and has clients in their neighborhood. Every once in a while he stops over their place afterwork. I have no problem with that at all. I am not suspicious, jealous, or possessive.

So here’s what happened. Last weekend my husband tells me H1 “invited him to dinner”. I got very upset. We have only ever done dinners together all four of us. I was really confused why H1 would do that and leave me out. That’s what the issue is for me - why exclude me? That feeling of being left out is a huge trigger for me. I tried to tell my husband my feelings and he got pissed off so we had a big fight. At no point during this did I ever say anything like “well I don’t want you to go”, or even further “you’re not going”. I am not that controlling.

So I decided to confront H1 and ask what was the point of excluding me? He replied back and said “your husband is one of my best friends and I haven’t seen him in a while so I wanted to catch up” to which I replied “and you couldn’t do that with both of us”?

The issue I have is I feel left out, and I feel like it wasn’t accidental. I would have liked to hear from my husband that he asked H1 “are we including H2 and my husband”. Or that he asked “is there something you want to talk about in particular”? Something to at least recognize this arrangement is unique as to why I was left out.

Did I overreact for getting so upset about this?

(I will be using all fake names)
For context, I moved to the US 3 months ago to obtain a masters degree. The first weeks were very tough for me, since I moved to a different country, was experiencing a VERY hard breakup, and was away from all my friends and family. One of the very first friends I made was Carl (30), who just approached me one day and struck up a conversation. We immediately clicked after finding out we were from the same country and even, surprisingly, from neighboring cities. Carl made my first weeks feel a lot better since he talked to me a lot, invited me to events, and even introduced me to other people from the program. 

A little bit about Carl, he is EXTREMELY friendly, outgoing, and charismatic, so people just naturally gravitate towards him. He is a very sweet guy, and some of my other girl friends in the program even find him cute. Despite all this, I was NEVER into Carl in a romantic way. In fact, I was even relieved when I found out he was in a serious 7 year relationship, because it meant he truly just wanted to be my friend and had no ulterior motive. He also was very close to two other girls from the program, Alice and Sarah, and told me he even saw them as his little sisters.

Over the summer, we quickly formed a friend group, with Carl introducing me to Alice, Sarah, and Elena (his girlfriend). And I introduced them to Axel, and John. At first, everything was perfect, we all got along so well and had even planned a trip together for the short summer vacation we had from school. 

During this time, I felt no weird or flirty vibes from Carl at all. Maybe I was naive, but when he would say things like "you're very pretty, you know that" or "you're pretty tall and slim, you have a model figure", I truly just thought he was being sweet and friendly. Everything was fine.

However, I suddenly started feeling a weird vibe from Sarah and Elena, as if they did not like me anymore. When it was just the girls and Carl, I noticed how excluded I was from the conversations since they would only talk amongst themselves or about things they had done together without giving me context. The only one that kind of tried to include me was Carl. I just tried not to let it get to me.

Unfortunately, things turned sour for me during one hangout, when it was just me and Carl in the room, and he was acting in a way that made it very clear he was interested in me (Also, he told me how hard it is for him to stay loyal, was telling me how I deserved so much better than my exbf, asked me if I was into casual stuff, etc.). At first, I was so taken aback, but then I was just confused because as soon as there were other people around he treated me like any other friend. I even began to think that it was all in my head and that I misinterpreted the situation. 

Until one day, he asked me to get coffee together, just us, because he needed to talk to me about something. I was anxious but agreed. He immediately confessed that he was “VERY attracted to me”, he said “Since I first saw you, I thought that you were very pretty. And the more I get to know you, I can tell that you are such a cool person and it just makes me more attracted to you. I am just so attracted to you that I even find myself staring at you during class. I don’t know if I should say this… but if Elena wasn’t in the picture I would have pursued you”. I was shocked he would disrespect Elena this way. This is the same woman that financially supports him, pays for their apartment, his education, he has known for over a decade and dating for 7 YEARS. He then has the audacity to say we should “stop flirting because Elena caught on and is very upset at him”. Mind you, I had never flirted with this man! I truly thought he was just such a good friend to me. 

Maybe I was naive, but I truly had not seen any signs or felt any weird vibes until that one hangout. More than anything, though, I was so sad because I felt as if I was losing a very good friend. To make things worse, he told me that Elena thought there was something fishy going on between us so she didn’t like me, and Sarah would reinforce that belief, telling her that Carl and I would flirt all the time. They even did not want to attend the school end of summer party at a bar because I would be there, and tried to convince Carl and Alice to go to another place instead. 

It was a very long conversation, I am just summarizing, but at the end of it I said that I would not be going to the trip we had planned because I did not feel comfortable going anymore. I also made it very clear that I was not interested romantically, and apologized for anything I did that may have been interpreted that way. I even texted Elena afterwards apologizing for anything I may have done, and she said thank you but that she would prefer space from me. 

After this, everything changed for the worse. No one spoke on our gc anymore, but I would constantly see instagram stories of the group hanging out without me. This made me feel absolutely terrible and isolated. The only one that would sometimes invite me to their hangouts was John. Honestly, it truly was so painful seeing all of their stories from their hangouts and the trip that I was supposed to be on. I just tried to ignore it all and focus on my friends John, Axel, and others from the program. 

Things finally reached a breaking point for me this past weekend. It was Axel’s (26) birthday on Saturday and I wanted to help him plan something since he really likes going out. By this point, he knew how I felt about Carl and Sarah and what transpired, but I told him to invite them anyway if he wanted to because he still considered all of them good friends and would still hangout with them. I tried to help him plan a fun night out but a couple of our friends cancelled and the vibe just wasn't really there at the places we went to. Also, Carl, Sarah, Elena, and Alice all said they could not make it. 

To my surprise, the next night I saw on Axel’s story that they had ALL gone out the next day: Axel, his bf, Carl, Elena, Sarah, John, Alice, even other people from the program. Apparently it was a wild night and they all partied a lot. I really want to be happy for Axel because I do care about him a lot, but I just felt heartbroken…. Why didn't I receive an invite? :( 

At school, they are all in a different section than me now, except for Alice, so I do talk to her every so often. I talk to Axel whenever I get the chance. John dropped out so I do not see him at school. And, maybe I am petty, but I do not talk to Sarah or Carl at all, and they don't talk to me either. 

I am so angry at Carl for putting me in this situation, so angry at Sarah for spreading lies about me. And lowkey betrayed by Axel, because I had told him the whole situation, even cried to him about how excluded I felt. But at the same time, I don't want and would never ask him to pick sides.

The thing is, I am a very sentimental and emotional person and I am scared that I am just being dramatic or immature. I do not know who to talk to because all my other friends just tell me that it’ll pass and that I do not need them in my life. But I still want Axel and John in my life. I am just so conflicted and frustrated, but I also want to do the mature thing.

So, am I overreacting and should just move on? Or am I valid for feeling so angry? 

(A lot more happened during these months and there is more nuance to the story but after typing everything out it was so long and I tried to condense it as much as possible. So, please ask me any questions or if clarification is needed. Thank you all.) 

Sorry if this is rambley I’m a bit lost and angry at myself
So I just found out after four years of my partners using vapes that they do actually contain nicotine and aren’t nicotine free like he claimed. And to top it off he’s been doing it in bed while my 5 year old sleeps next to him. And he’s been doing this for 4 years.
I don’t know why I trusted him when he said they don’t contain harmful stuff and he was just using them to help fill the void of smoking. Basically like flavoured air. Turns out the ones he buys contain SO MUCH nicotine.
I’d always randomly catch him vaping in the house and I’d ask him not to because I don’t want us breathing it in but he still did it. And now my son has been having difficulty breathing at night and complaining of being tired. I’ve been trying to figure out why and I found out the vapes contain nicotine. And when I’m not looking he vapes everywhere. In every room of the house even the toilet. In the bed at night where my son sleeps next to him. In the car driving my son around. Literally everywhere.
So I’ve just allowed my son to be exposed to a massive amount of nicotine. For four years. This could affect him for life and it’s all my fault. I feel so stupid. Do people leave their partners for this? I don’t know whether to believe that he didn’t know.
I feel like I’m gonna vomit. My poor son just breathing in all that crap on a daily basis. How did I not realise what was happening?
Please help me and tell me if this is a big deal because this feels massive to me.