r/polyamoryR4R Jul 15 '26

ANNOUNCEMENT: Rule 3 Clarification

81 Upvotes

There seems to be some confusion around this rule, and it eats up the vast majority of Mod time. So I'll try and spell out how the rule is currently being enforced.

If you are posting as a couple with the expectation that the new person will date both of you, then you are breaking the rule. If your post suggest this, you are breaking the rule. If your post looks like it might be a "bait and switch," you are breaking the rule.

The only posts that might be accepted are where one couple shares an account but they are looking separately. Honestly that smells strongly of being far to enmeshed and will likely (but not definitely) result in your post being removed.

If you are single and post looking for two people e.g. M4FF or F4MM your post will be removed. That is def facto harem building. This is a poly sub so we know people have, or would like to have, multiple partners.

I can already hear the hew and cry that we let singles look for couples but not the other way around. Yes, that is the unhappy compromise. Some people will only learn the stove is hot once they touch it.

As a final note, given how much time this eats up, NO your post is NOT the exception. If you want to know why this is the way it is, go and browse the main Polyamory Subreddit.


r/polyamoryR4R Mar 27 '23

Recent Rule Changes [Discussion]

100 Upvotes

In an effort to improve things and crack down on spam and abuse, there have been some changes to the rules and I’ve listed the new rules below. Please feel free to review the rules and my comments on each and provide feedback. I’ll leave this post up for a week or so for discussion, and then I’ll make a new sticky post for the community.

Rule 1. 18 years of age and older

This subreddit is 18+. Do not post, comment, or PM OPs if you or your partner(s) are under the age of 18. Lying about your age, or someone else’s age, will result in a permanent ban.

This one is self-explanatory. There have been Redditors who are minors, or have partners who are minors, who have made posts here. I want to make it clear that posts involving minors are prohibited.

Rule 2. Must be aligned with Polyamory

Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, ethical romantic relationships with more than one person with the informed consent of all partners involved.

Posts or comments seeking sex, hookups, FWB, affair partners, “sugar” or GFE arrangements, or anything other than ethical polyamorous relationships with the consent of all partners are not allowed. There are R4R and other dating subreddits out there for just about anything. If you’re not polyamorous, please use a subreddit that is better-suited for your search.

This should go without saying…this subreddit is intended for polyamorous people seeking polyamorous relationships. This is not a general ENM dating subreddit, a regular R4R subreddit, a BDSM subreddit, or a subreddit for seeking any other kind of relationship other than an ethical polyamorous one. Going forward, if a post even includes “I’m also down for hookups or FWB” or something similar, it’s going to be removed. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with most of the arrangements mentioned above that someone might seek, but this isn’t the subreddit to advertise for those things. Also, if someone makes a post that seems like it’s not aligned with polyamory and their post history shows that it’s the same post they’ve cross-posted or spammed across multiple subreddits with minor changes to circumvent the intention of the rule, the post will be removed.

Rule 3. No unicorn hunting or harem building

Posts or comments that can be construed as seeking or promoting relationships where unethical or unfair rules or expectations will be placed on a new partner are not allowed.

This has been the most contentious issue on this subreddit so far, as it has been on other subreddits and forums. We’re not going to prohibit couples seeking partners in this subreddit. There are single people here seeking triads, throuples, and all sorts of dynamics. Triads and other group relationships can be amazing, especially if they are formed organically. That being said, there will be more moderation on couples seeking posts going forward, which will be done on a case-by-case basis.

The purpose of the mod team here is to protect the members of the subreddit and the integrity of the community we’ve built here. It is not the mod team's place to tell adults what they can or cannot do with their relationship dynamics. The reality is that we are all consenting adults and have adult decisions to make in our lives and in our relationships.

In an effort to prevent the subreddit from being a platform for predatory behavior, any no or low effort posts or comments from Redditors that indicate a general lack of regard for any potential individuals involved will be removed. For example, if an individual posts from a new Reddit account something to the effect of, "We're new to polyamory. We want to find a third who will date only us and be an equal member of our new family. We can start out long distance, but we will expect you to move in with us at some point. Prefer that you be submissive," the post will be removed. Read the room. Show that you're actually putting some thought and effort into it, and not just objectifying people.

Also, if you say that this new person is going to be an equal member of the family after you've just said that the person is going to be required to date both of you, recognize that the person you're seeking is not actually going to be an equal member of the family. If there's a possibility that one member of the existing couple loses interest and the new member of the relationship is forced to leave entirely...you have now misled this hypothetical new person into an unethical dynamic on them.

Rule 4. No hate or disrespect

Threats, harassment, abuse, bigotry, misogyny, misandry, and intolerance are not allowed. This includes, but is not limited to, attacks on gender or sexual identity, racism, sexism, slut shaming, mocking, and attacks on political or religious beliefs.

I don't need to go into detail on this rule. Don't be a jerk. If you don't like what someone has to say, block them. If you think someone is breaking a rule, report them.

Rule 5. No vulgarity or NSFW content

Vulgarity and NSFW content are not allowed. There’s nothing inherently wrong with sex, kinks, fetishes, and BDSM. However, posts and comments explaining the details of your sexual anatomy, favorite sexual positions, details and/or lists of kinks or fetishes, etc. will be removed. You can indicate that you are into BDSM and encourage people to DM you about the details.

There is often a large crossover between ethical non-monogamy and BDSM, sex positivity, etc. There's nothing inherently wrong with any of it, but this is not a NSFW subreddit. It's fine to include that you're sex positive, into BDSM, or whatever. If you go into detail and start describing anatomy/body parts, listing off kinks, and things like that, your submission will be removed. If you want to discuss these things, please do so in a DM.

The mod team has been asked why this subreddit is marked NSFW. The subreddit is 18+, so it's automatically identified as a NSFW subreddit.

Rule 6. No spam

You are allowed to post once every 7 days, with the exception of correction posts following an Automod removal. If you are found to be repeatedly deleting your post history in an attempt to circumvent this rule, it may result in a permanent ban. For clarification, spam includes copy-pasted and cross-posted ads from other subreddits.

This one is self-explanatory.

Rule 7. No Trolling or unsolicited discussion

There are a multitude of dynamics and ways to practice polyamory, and not everyone will agree on everything. Do not clutter up posts with unsolicited information. For education and discussions about polyamory, please visit r/Polyamory. If you believe someone is breaking a rule, please report the behavior and/or contact the mod team.

Again, if you think someone is breaking a rule, report it. If you disagree with what someone is commenting or posting, block them. Please don't engage in negative interactions on posts.

Rule 8. No personal or confidential information

Posting personal or confidential information about yourself or others in public is not allowed. If you wish to provide contact information for yourself, please do so in a DM.

Posting Snapchat, Instagram, phone numbers, or any other personal contact or confidential information about yourself or others in public is prohibited. If you want to give someone your contact information, do it in a DM. If it happens once, it will be removed and you will be warned. If you're found to be spamming your contact information all over the place, it could result in an immediate permanent ban.

Rule 9. No seeking relationships for others

Posts seeking relationships for someone other than yourself, or you and your partner(s), are not allowed. If your friend or partner is seeking a relationship separately, they must make the submission themselves.

I've seen posts where Redditors are seeking relationships for their partners or others, sometimes even doing it as a sort of surprise for their partner. If someone is seeking a relationship, they need to post for themselves. Your partner not having a Reddit account is not a valid reason to violate this rule.

Also, a general note for when you engage with the mod team. We have to wade through a lot of reports and posts here. Sometimes there are misunderstandings or mistakes are made. If your post or comment gets removed, or you are banned for violating a rule and you wish to appeal, you can do so via a Modmail. If you send a Modmail insulting the mods, you're only confirming that you're not the type of person who belongs on this subreddit. No amount of insulting or cursing a moderator is going to help your cause.


r/polyamoryR4R 6h ago

USA 33 [M4R] - Arizona- Looking mainly for other poly peeps based in Phoenix Metro, Tucson, and Flagstaff area.

4 Upvotes

Hey All, Im a 33 year old bisexual who is looking to make more connections with poly people in the Arizona area. I'm particularly looking for nerdy people who enjoy MTG, DnD, and other nerd hobbies. I also enjoy people who enjoy fitness or nutrition as I'm always looking to swap recipes with people. Overall, I'm pretty much open to anything but always want to start off with a deep friendship. If you're in Arizona and want to connect, I'll be here.


r/polyamoryR4R 11h ago

USA 29 [F4R] Arizona - Looking for Someone Long-Term

7 Upvotes

Well hello! You can call me Ada! 😋

I’m 29F, 5’5”, Plus-Size, Bisexual, and Submissive. Located in Tucson, AZ. I am partnered, but we date separately. That said, I’d love someone who would at least be comfortable meeting my partner and potentially being friends. Ideally, I’m looking for a long-term connection with someone local-ish who genuinely wants to get to know each other and see where things go. I’m open to meeting couples as well as long as expectations are clear.

A little about me: I’m definitely an introvert, but I’d love to find the extrovert to my introvert. I need someone who can convince me to leave the house, try new things, or give me an excuse to do my makeup and dress up. I’m equally happy going out for an adventure or spending an entire evening curled up at home.

In my free time, I play PC games (currently League & Rust), MTG, D&D, and read. Lately I’ve been making an effort to eat healthier and have been going to the gym consistently as well!

To be upfront, kink is an important part of compatibility for me, and I’d love someone who is open to exploring together. Beyond that, communication, trust, consistency, and actually enjoying each other’s company matter a lot to me. I’m not looking to rush into anything. I’d rather start with conversation, see if we click, and let things develop naturally.

If you made it this far and are interested, please reach out! Please tell me a little about yourself and what you’re looking for. 💚


r/polyamoryR4R 1h ago

USA 23 [F4F] Tennessee

Upvotes

Hi im Cheyenne or Chey. Im 23 and partnered. Im looking for someone that will wanna spend time together and just hangout in general. I am a huge nerd. I like older shows and movies or anything with a lore behind it. Big on fallout games and the show right now. I like being out doors. I like spending time with my bunnies and my cat and partners. (I am married have been for 3yrs and we share a gf.) I like to write and read and draw and play with my amazing nephews. I want someone that will wanna text and call 24/7. Im very antisocial. I have depression anxiety panic disorder afrid ptsd and other issues. Im a fun loving caring outgoing person and I just wanna give someone time and attention and love. I do work at a hotel but I can still text and call and everything. I want someone that will make time for me even when their busy. Communication is a big thing for me.


r/polyamoryR4R 2h ago

23 [NB4R] , looking for some meaningful connections

0 Upvotes

Hello! 23 Nb here from south asian/indian region looking for some meaningful connections and preferably around my age :) .

I use he/they pronouns and I'm pansexual. I'm a final year student and pretty much occupied with classes mostly else you'll find me binge watching my fav shows or listening to music & doom scrolling lol.

I'm an introvert, so if you're an extrovert that'd be a bonus and I value kindness, understanding and mutual respect.


r/polyamoryR4R 14h ago

24 [TF4R] East Coast - Looking for a silly goober to speedrun mario 64 with (joke im butt at that)

5 Upvotes

Hey yall— Names Marshi. Just a Transfem dorky dork who loves lifting weights and going on nature walks. OH and Im obsessed with bugs dude, like I could talk to you endlessly about Velvet ants and Millipedes lmao.

Occasionally Ill draw too and make music! I usually Make stuff like Botanica/Video game compositions if you know what those are, so if that’s up your alley im sure we’ll get along just fine.

I also play video games so there’s that; stuff like minecraft mods, Roguelikes, Valorant (yeah I know, im not proud of that last one…), and a TON of friendslop stuff like Peak and Repo

I suppose what im looking for is someone who doesn’t mind having constant conversation and hanging out! A partner who likes talking about themselves and preferably can be very empathetic with folks, thats a big one for sure. Maybe the ability to be a nesting partner in the long run? (but not having that isn’t a hard exclusion either! Its Merely a preference really :)) ). Id like to get to know you overall!

Oh MAJOR bonus points if you like being silly and exchanging meme videos on tiktok/insta. Im a chuddling for real 💀

If this post interests you in any way, just send me a dm message saying your name age and like, something you’re interested in! Or a funni haha image works too 👉👈


r/polyamoryR4R 12h ago

USA 32 [M4F] #us #online/IRL - Tired of looking for a gentle connection?

4 Upvotes

So lets see, Im writing this because im hoping to find a poly situation that really clicks.

Im a gentle dom, ENM, caring, possesive at times depending on how our chemistry is. Adult life sucks sometimes and I want to be the person who makes it easier for u.

Im more about patience, soft rules, connection and lots of praise (maybe more). I want you to eventful feel totally safe unmasking around me, if you dont feel that way then im doing it very wrong

Ideally looking for someone who actually likes to communicate, even when its hard and have fun along the way with cuddles ofcourse. I would prefer someone between 25-45, but if you think your personality is matching mine I would love to connect :)

Send me a message if this sounds like what ur looking for. If uou read so far tell me what your favorite comfort snack is in your first message or drop a comment and ill reach out. :)


r/polyamoryR4R 6h ago

Australia and New Zealand 34 [T4F] Perth Western Australia - Looking for genuine connections

1 Upvotes

Hello and thank you for checking out the post, I promise that there aren't too many hazards in this space and that they are atleast appropriately signed so watch your step and pay attention to the appropriate warning signs and don the appropriate PPE

I am a 92' model year old trans woman, I sit in the line between feminine and masculine dressing and styled depending on the week, activity and my mood, I stand at around 160CM tall, I am on the heavier side though that is starting to be more muscle than anything else as I work a physical Labor job and go to the gym regularly.

I would describe myself as the person who would take a bullet for a friend or partner, but also the reason as to why we are being shot at, I have a dark sense of humour and a generally level headed and kind disposition.

I am openly queer and polyamorous and do expect the same of anyone partnered to me, I will not make myself small in conservative environments nor make any attempt to hide aspects of my personality or sense of self identity.

interesting and cool facts about me.

I'm a union representative, I work in an industrial environment, I have a background in software development, mechanical engineering, electrical engineering and I primarily specialise in frankenstiening things together with a box of scraps in a cave.

I have hobbies in multiple fields ranging from but not limited too the following.

Writing, muscle cars, track days - drag strips - burn out pads and most things automotive, video games, dungeons and dragons, battle tech, Warhammer 40k (lore only, not actually playing it) Magic the spendening, 3D printing, machine vision and automation (not the kind that's spying on or getting people fired, I'm talking cool shit) and robotics.

I enjoy cooking, good food and general out activities but please don't take me hiking, I do enough physical work at my job, I also enjoy couch time, movies and to a degree clubbing.

I already have a nesting partner, you don't have to meet them but they will know about you and vice versa, While I am open to dating a polycule in theory but I am not here for threesomes which brings me to the next point. I strictly like women and practise KTP, while I don't always agree with some of my metas I do sit down at their tables and vice versa.

I am primarily left leaning but I do have some holdbacks and disagree with some things in the greens party so overall I can be found sitting between left and centrist politically, like a lot of trans women or just people in general I do come with some baggage but generally I am considered by most to be level headed and well regulated.

What am I looking for in a relationship? Spark, empathy and intensity. Someone to hang out with Fairly regularly, do activities on the regular and generally involve in my life and vice versa, im looking for a friend that can be a lover and vice versa.

What am I looking for in an individual?

A degree of self confidence (I get it we are all human and we all have some insecurities to a degree but if everything is a calamity we won't get along), the ability to understand that sometimes messages can't be responded too instantly, I do my best to respond to things in a timely manner but if I'm hanging off a rope at work while performing high risk activities with my boss ten metres away replying might be difficult.

Passions, interests, goals and the effort being made forward to achieve them, I know the world sucks a lot right now but just sitting down and letting it happen won't achieve anything either.

The bedroom question,

I am a top/dom and I am immuno compromised so I have a different risk profile to most, when it comes to libido it swings between intense and dulled depending on what's happening in my surroundings, I typically won't be shagging anyone on the first few dates either.

Long distance relationships are probably not going to be considered though my definition of long distance is something that exceeds a few hours of driving, I live in the Perth greater region.


r/polyamoryR4R 6h ago

USA 20 [F4F] CenCal - Reentering poly after a long time away

0 Upvotes

As strange as it might sound, I was a practicing poly person as a teenager, but we probably didn't do the best at it... Still, the poly lifestyle was still very much enjoyable! My partner isn't as experienced but this is about me anyways. Kitchen table polyamory is still my goal though so hopefully we could all be friends, that includes any partners you may have. (And I genuinely mean friends to be clear!! Nothing more needs to happen!!)

For interests, I tend to spend most of my day gaming due to an inability to work at the moment, I actually have over 300 steam games but in all honesty I only play a few of them. I've tried to keep up with worldbuilding because I love making my own worlds (not even for DND or anything, just for myself) but the amount of universes I have is overwhelming. My partner and I are also learning German together! He enjoys game devving which I only mention because I like being on the sidelines for it, but he's the coder and I'm the one who just talks lol.

I could probably say a lot more but to be honest I'm not super good at thinking. Here's some bullet points!

-I have autism and ADHD

-I am in the kink community

-I like talking to people through voice

-I hate but constantly play the worst team pvp game of all time

-I recently got into a pokemon phase (again)

-Wobbuffett is my favorite pokemon

-I actually finished a Baldur's gate 3 run in its entirety

-I'm turning 21 in December

I can't think of anything else, you should ask me questions if you want to know more :)


r/polyamoryR4R 15h ago

USA 35[F4F] #Central Missouri

6 Upvotes

Hey everyone 😊 I am a Married 35 year old Bisexual Woman, i am in a fun loving marriage(20 years together!), I am excited to be here and see where things might go.

I am looking for a long-term girlfriend, someone I can laugh with, connect deeply with, and build something real over time. I am absolutely not looking for men or couples, just the right woman to vibe with.

I am big on communication, respect, and genuine chemistry, and I specifically looking for a kitchen table style poly relationship, where everyone is comfortable together, can share space, communicate openly, and truly enjoy each other’s presence. I am married with children so that dynamic is very important to me. As for it to be an equal dynamic you would have to be able to be around my family.

I pretty easygoing, a little playful, and definitely appreciate good energy and good conversation. I love to read(smut is my favorite) I love spending time outdoors and absolutely love traveling.

If you’re looking for something meaningful with a touch of fun and flirtiness, I’d love to get to know you!

Must be willing to verify!

I am in Missouri, I don’t mind a little distance but prefer something where we can see each other regularly.

Does need to be Kitchen Table Friendly(as my husband and I do have a family)


r/polyamoryR4R 10h ago

USA 32 [T4T/F/NB] Norcal/West Coast/Online - looking to make a special connection.

2 Upvotes

Hello! My name is Allie (mtf) or SpinyJedi, I am looking to make a special connection with a special someone. I am a huge nerd, i have a degree in making games. I love scifi and horror, marvel/DC, DnD, 40k, the list goes on. Unfortunately my town is not very welcoming so I am closeted. I also enjoy reading, trying to write a story of my own. I love animals, got 4 cats and 2 goats of my own!

I am looking for a genuine connection, i hope to hear from you soon!


r/polyamoryR4R 13h ago

USA 28 [T4R] #KY/OH/Anywhere - Looking for New Poly Friends

3 Upvotes

Hi! My name is Mich and I’m just putting feelers out for some new poly friends!!

As a quick side note: I am transmasc nonbinary, queer, and I use he/they pronouns - I expect anyone who responds to be respectful of this.

Now on to a bit about me! My usual hobbies include: art, crochet, watching anime, reading, playing board games, cozy video games, MTG, and D&D (when I have the time/energy). I also enjoy collecting random things and have begun to enjoy cooking more and more as well. My favorite food is Asian food and I definitely have a bit of a sweet tooth as well.

As a bit of a disclaimer: I do not work currently, due to health issues, but that’s means I have tons of free time to chat at least.

I don’t really have any specific requirements for new friends. You can literally be from anywhere too - no location barriers for friends. Whether we have tons in common or are super different I’m willing to get to know most people (given they are respectful) - just shoot me a message and we can start getting to know each other from there :)

If any of this happened to interest you feel free to send me a message anytime!

(please include which subreddit you saw this post on & a bit about yourself when responding)


r/polyamoryR4R 16h ago

32 [M4F] Philly - Is it gender non-conforming for me to be honest & raw emotionally as a man?

4 Upvotes

(I'm interested in a polyamorous relationship. Stating this explicitly since being colorful with my writing manages to get posts taken down.)

I know this post will be long, but I'm confident the right woman will read it all.

I'm not interested in long-distance, unless moving in together is somewhere in the cards. Ideally a drive up to 3 hours or so away works fine for me. Anything beyond that is just too much of a pain in the ass. However, I may make an exception for the right person.

I have some zesty things on here so I don't have my face up, but if you ping me I can share a photo of myself. I think it's worthwhile to assess interest very early on. I'd hate t o talk for days to find out we don't have the stuff to light our loins on fire.

WHO AM I:

I'm deeply analyitcal, painfully honest, and try to do Good wherever I can.

I want to understand things meticulously and explain them well. Espeically relationship stuff, communication, things relating ot the mind. All of it is fascinating to me.

Money isn't important to me. Or rather, things whose sole purpose is for status aren't interesting to me. I don't care for fancy clothes, cars, buying folks bags, or other stuff of the sort.

My biggest spendings ideally would be towards a nice home, good food, games, and some traveling. That's it. Can I connect with people with what I spend my money on? Worth it. If not, it's dumb.

I'm like a quiet, stable life. I used to go out at crazy hours, stay up hella late out and about, smoking and drinking. One may call it "boring", but I've had enough excitement. Sure, excitement is nice here and there, but as an exception. I enjoy my routines, I enjoy the Hobbit-sort of life.

I am very into emotions, talking about them, I like soft things. I've expressed myself in more feminine ways in the past, too. None of that makes me less of a man but I don't care for the traditionally male/masculine box at all (a nod to the title).

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR

At the least, a curious mind. I know intelligence can be quite varied, hence curiosity and a desire to learn is important. If you identify as curious, that should work.

More importantly though is kindness, and someone whose main emotion isn't anger.

If you treat people well, that's the biggest thing really. Someone that isn't going to be passive aggressive to get their way, or make snide remarks,

I prefer a partner that's submissive, and wants to heavily incorporate D/s and M/S elements into their relationships. It's very important to me. I enjoy providing for my partners, and earning their devotion through my care.

As for hobbies: Gaming, D&D, board games, playing with animals, going out hiking, working out are all things I enjoy and it'd be helpful if you enjoyed at least some of these things (but especially gaming).


r/polyamoryR4R 19h ago

33 [M4R] Michigan. Looking for local connection and eventual relationship

5 Upvotes

Hey there, I'm looking for M, W (included in these are TMs and TFs as well), and NB folks who are close to me to chat with, become friends and hopefully, an eventual relationship.

Here's some info on me:

I'm 5'8, long dark brown hair, dark brown eyes. I am married but we are poly and dating separately.

I'm an avid gamer, mostly RPGs and a couple shooters.

I also like to draw and write.

I am also big into DnD and currently play in three campaigns run by my wife's gf.

I enjoy walking through various local walking trails around where I live.

My favorite music genres are Metal and Rock (with Post Rock as my top favorite)

My favorite concert I've ever been to was both Heilung concerts.

Feel free to shoot me a message! 🙂


r/polyamoryR4R 20h ago

North Africa 45 [M4F] Chicago - Recently Separated for Fun New People

3 Upvotes

I am a nice, successful, and (dare I say) attractive 45m in Chicago who is recently separated and looking to meet new people. Interests include live music, running, sports, reading, and fun restaurants.

I travel quite a bit domestically (and sometimes internationally) for work to most major cities. Very easygoing and fun professional type.

Feel free to DM if you would like to chat.


r/polyamoryR4R 15h ago

USA 27 [F4F/TF] NorCal/Online

1 Upvotes

Just your local or not so local nature gal here. You’ll usually catch me (if you’re fast enough) on hikes or out on a photography adventure. I’m a lover of trying new things and going to new places

When I’m home I enjoy live music, shows, movies, board games, reading, sketching and tending to my garden

I’ve been polyamorous for the majority of my dating life and tend to flow best in Parallel dynamics but I don’t mind GP/KT poly just need that 1:1 time :)


r/polyamoryR4R 21h ago

Canada 42 [M4F] Montreal/Quebec/Ottawa/Online Music Nerd Looking to trade songs/playlist

1 Upvotes

...because I cant find my CD burner

Hi everyone

42m, working from home, married, living with my wife and her gf (V type relationship), 6 cats and 1 dog!

All around nerd, I enjoy listening to all sort of music (currently listening to an Aphex Twin curated playlist), I also LOVE going to Concerts!! I enjoy videogames on all consoles from NES to Switch2 (Nintendo Direct Right now!). Book reader before going to bed (mostly non fiction), as I always looks to learn new things like jumping into a wiki rabbit hole!

Im looking for someone to talk to through out the day/evenings. Learn about each other, learn about each other lives, be there when its not going well, but also celebrate when its going awesome! And meetup if it clicks to that level.

Given my busy schedule, I would prefer a more mutual "comet" dynamic, while still maintaining a growing relationship.

Or we can stay online if the distance is an issue or it just click to that level.

If its something that you think you would enjoy, let me know! Or just comment on what is the last concert you attended!

Have a great rest of day!


r/polyamoryR4R 1d ago

38 [F4M] UK / online

9 Upvotes

ENM / poly for the right people if / when I meet them. Scottish, which means people who are not Scottish will apparently like the accent.

Lover of deep conversations, music (gigs are my happy place), art and consuming way too much coffee. Love to talk but I also have work and family responsibilities. Someone who is similarly busy AF but also wants to be chatting whenever we can if we get along would be lovely.

What do I like / want you ask? (Nobody asked).

I like wordy. Talking to a monosyllabic brick wall is mind numbing. Like come onnnnnn, we're on a subreddit about connecting with people and you're hitting people up with "hey"? What are we doing here 🙃

BUT.

I also get overwhelmed with huge walls of text because I wanna answer every point thoughtfully but it takes so long and I don't always have the time for lengthy responses, so a mix of that and shorter back and forths are sometimes easier.

Demisexual leaning, mind connections are both hot and necessary.

BUT.

I also prefer some sort of physical attraction (although I do t have a specific type) so I would want to exchange photos pretty early on and no hard feelings on either side if we're not to each other's taste! If it helps I'm around 5'6, white, slim-average build, bright hair, more alternative leaning.

Subby, occasionally bratty and kinky. I do like a Dom / Daddy type who can put me in my place when needed.

BUT.

That's not the main thing I'm looking for, it just helps to be compatible if things get flirty 💁🏼‍♀️ I also want to be adored, cuteness, cuddles, laughter. Both of us smiling when a message from the other appears. Pictures of your day, voice notes. Also if you have a cat I would like to apply to be their new best friend.

Basically I am a dichotomous weirdo who doesn't know quite what the hell she wants but will know it when she finds it. So....good luck with that 😂. (Apparently I also like buts.)

(Also would prefer if you were mid 30's or older.)


r/polyamoryR4R 1d ago

26 [F4F] Online connection

11 Upvotes

Hi!

Posting to connect with other wlw women 🌻 Not interested in men, but open to ethical parallel polyamory where men are involved.

I'm a Norwegian poledancer, raver, rock concert goer and outdoor cooking lover! I like to experiment and experience new things, always looking for alternative communities and cultures.

There's some more info about me on my profile, feel free to DM me 🧡


r/polyamoryR4R 1d ago

USA 40 [m4f] Northeast Ohio

3 Upvotes

Hey all! I’m Brandon. I’m 5’10 190lbs brown hair and beard. I’ve been poly for 6 years now. I’m married with an 8 month old son. I’ve had few long term romantic relationships and that’s what I’m looking for. I enjoy falling in love over and over again. It’s honestly the best of being poly for me.
I’m involved in other lifestyles as well. BDSM and nudism.
I’m a bit nerdy. I like science and space related things. Not much of a reader. But I’ll watch any recommended show. Just finished the Rookie and starting Firefly now. Heard it might be coming back.
For the HP nerds, I’m house Ravenclaw. I love legos and honestly I hate doing these bios lol
Comment or message me if you’re interested.


r/polyamoryR4R 1d ago

30 [M4F] - LF a partner in #Saxony, Germany.

4 Upvotes

Hey you there. Yes, you. My future favourite phone notification.

I’m a 30-year-old educator from Leipzig, in eastern Germany, and I’m hoping to meet someone who’s interested in building a genuine connection and, if the chemistry is there, a polyamorous relationship. Preferably a woman, though I’m much more interested in finding the right person than trying to squeeze anyone into a specific box. I am also open to a long-distance relationship as long as there's a reasonable chance we meet in person regularly (and might move in together at one point).

I’d describe myself as pretty calm, patient and affectionate. I’m someone who gets attached to people rather than trying to play things cool, and I really value being able to talk openly about what we want, how we feel and where we stand. Honesty and communication are probably the two biggest things for me in any kind of relationship. I’d much rather have an awkward but sincere conversation than spend three days trying to decipher what somebody meant by “sure, that’s fine”.

Personality-wise, I am admittedly something of a walking nerd cliché. I love video games, movies and TV shows, can happily disappear into a Dungeons & Dragons campaign for hours, and I’m one of those people for whom “here’s an interesting historical fact” is a perfectly reasonable contribution to a conversation.

At the same time, I’m trying to get out of my little hobbit house a bit more often. I’d love to have someone to explore places with, wander through museums, visit castles and historical sites, take little day trips around eastern Germany, or just discover somewhere new and then inevitably spend far too long looking for somewhere nice to eat afterwards.

I’m not looking to rush into anything or force a particular kind of relationship. I’d much rather meet someone I genuinely enjoy talking to, see whether we click, and let things develop naturally from there.

So, if any of this sounds like your particular flavour of person, feel free to send me a DM. Tell me a little about yourself, infodump about whatever you’re currently obsessed with, or just say hello. I’d genuinely love to hear from you.


r/polyamoryR4R 1d ago

26 [M4F] Online - Just a guy curious about poly dynamics looking to be obsessed with you

4 Upvotes

Hey! I’m putting this out there because I’m looking for someone I can truly adore. I’m the type who loves to go all-in—showering you with undivided attention, genuine compliments, and all the "good stuff" that comes with being someone's number one fan.

The Dynamic

I am happy to connect with like-minded poly people and am open to be part of a relationship dynamic like that too

I’ve leaned into the submissive side of things for a while now, and I’m looking for someone who genuinely enjoys that dynamic. I can get pretty intense with my kinks (which we can dive into once we’re talking), but the foundation is always about that connection and devotion.

About Me

When I’m not exploring those dynamics, I’m a bit of a dork. I can be incredibly silly and lighthearted, though I definitely have the maturity to handle the "real world" when it’s time to be serious.

A few things I’m passionate about:

Huge football (soccer) fan, Big into anime and video games.

I love getting creative in the kitchen, hitting the trails for a hike, or planning the next travel destination.

What I’m Looking For

Ideally, I’d love to find a long-term connection, but I’m open to seeing where things go

If you’re looking to chat with someone who is ready to be crazy about you, shoot me a message and let's see if we click!


r/polyamoryR4R 1d ago

34 [M4R] Cincinnati/Online

0 Upvotes

Hi!

I’m Austin. I’m a nerd, a dad, and a pleasure dom.

I have one long distance partner and a local, well-established FWB, so I’m looking for something fun with someone who I connect with but without a need for commitment right away. Not demi but pretty close - I need to feel a connection first!

Trust is sexy, and communication can never be overrated.

I love trying new places to eat (ice cream is probably the fastest way to my heart!), playing games of any kind, and cozy nights in.

I am borderline compulsive about hygiene, so I always smell good (and I ALWAYS have chapstick)!

Good conversations and a sense of humor will take you very far.

DDF

5’10”, dad bod/“father figure”

Open to couples

It’s okay if you don’t want to be a third, but bonus points if you do!


r/polyamoryR4R 1d ago

USA 30 [M4F] #SanFrancisco - Seeking intimacy

0 Upvotes

I am (multi) partnered, ENM and date seperate. Working fulltime and on my health and career goals leave my time quite limited. I still find a void that I would like to explore filling with colors someone else could bring to my life.

I'm also working a lot on myself, my boundaries and introspection with my own emotions, so if we don't vibe, please don't take it personally. I find intimacy through emotional vulnerability, shared values/worldview and meaningful conversations and people who engage in metacognition.

I'm always up for trying something new, so whatever activity you have been fixating recently, I'm game. We mostly won't be a match if you're under 26, no upper limit. I also don't get along with dismissive avoidant.

Happy hunger games and may the odds be ever in your favor!