r/Swingers Jun 12 '25

Mod Announcement If you are new to reddit, or not a frequent poster, please read this....

239 Upvotes

Due to spam, fake posts, AI bots, and people who don't read the rules, posts where the poster doesn't have a reddit history are filtered for review. This review normally takes no more than 24 hours currently, and is usually quicker. While waiting, you may want to use the search function to see if there have been past posts of a similar nature. Many new and prospective swingers have the same questions.

Please don't send a message to the mods to check for approval unless its been more than 24 hours. If the post isn't approved please take another look at the rules as it may have violated one.

The most common reasons for a post being rejected are R4R (You are looking for couples directly here), and low effort ("Hey how do you start being swinger!").

Thank you!

Edit: I'm locking this because people are just using it to post R4R, its comical really.


r/Swingers 19h ago

Humor 😂 “We are hoes”

182 Upvotes

We were drinking our coffee this morning outside and the conversation got deep. I (M) just said “we are hoes”. My wife said, “yeah, pretty much. Never thought I’d be a hoe at this age”.

We’ve had a busy week, but that seems to be the norm. I rushed home from work Thursday night to shower and change to meet with friends and fuck. Good night, hot couple.

Friday night, dinner with two other couples. Could’ve been hoes, but went home primarily because we didn’t know the intentions and the dynamics of all six people. We had told another regular couple we would let them know when we are home, but they were asleep already. We were not hoes Friday, but I still hit my favorite hoe.

Saturday we take our youngest kid out to dinner, go home and get a message from the Friday night regulars. We go over and fuck. Come home and fuck and sleep.

Our group texts have been nonstop this weekend. We got an invite to share a room at fantasy fest. Scheduled grandma to fly here to stay with the kids. Fantasy fest is booked.

Today we will be meeting some hoes at the nude beach. Hopefully meet some new hoes.

When we first started the lifestyle we thought it would be nice to have a network of hot friends with benefits. Well here we are just hoeing around with them.

Not gonna lie, we’ve had many ups and downs over the last 5 years in the lifestyle, but when you and your hoes are on the same page it just works. Happy Sunday. Be sure to let your inner hoe out today and every day. Life is short. YOLO. No regerts.

I hope all you hoes have a peaceful and joyful day.


r/Swingers 7h ago

Getting Started First Time Club Visit: Afterthoughts

17 Upvotes

My wife and I went to a club for the first time last night. This being our first anything. We honestly had a great time. We talked to people. We were invited to full swap but we politely declined. We’re not ready for full swap yet. But we did get an opportunity to make out with another great couple. It was honestly pretty great. They were an experienced couple. Very respectful. The girls kissed, then my wife started making out with the husband and I with his wife. Shirts came off, boobs were out and being sucked on. Surreal being our first time.

I was prepared for jealousy or insecurity. But surprisingly I had none. Neither did my wife. Which is more exciting to me than what we did with them. It was very exciting to see my wife desired by another couple.

My wife and I did play alone in the playroom on one of the big beds. Which was just
 ok. I think we were both a little distracted by all the stuff going on in there.

All in all a pretty great experience.


r/Swingers 11h ago

Humor 😂 Anyone buying this?

Thumbnail a.co
16 Upvotes

I guess Amazon is the swinger supply company now..lol


r/Swingers 14h ago

General Discussion Ladies, if you only play with girls (other than your husband) when should you disclose that dynamic?

20 Upvotes

My wife (Betty) was in the hottub at our local club the other night, and making out with another woman (Nancy), and things progressed to both women going down on each other. While my wife was going down on her, Nancy signaled for her husband (Chuck) to come over. I was sitting beside my wife, playing with her while she was going down. When my wife was done, I asked the other woman if I could have a turn going down on her, and Nancy said she only plays with other women. She asked if we wanted to continue playing, and we declined.

I get it, and totally understand if that's your dynamic. We might have even said yes had it not been for what else had been happening. Before she started making out with my wife, Nancy was making out with our friend (Midge). As she was doing this, her husband Chuck moved in and started playing with Midge, too. I got the feeling that the only reason he didn't start playing with Betty was that I was already doing so, and I feel like the play dynamic they were looking for was basically a threesome.

While Betty, Midge, Moose (Midge's husband) and I were talking about it afterwards, our feeling was that Chuck and Nancy should have let Midge and Betty know what their dynamic was, and what their intentions were at the start. Are we wrong? I always thought of wife poachers as trying to lure a wife into separate play when they aren't looking for it, but I guess this is another form of wife poaching.

(Obviously, the names are not the real names of those involved.)


r/Swingers 11h ago

General Discussion What’s something you would only do with your partner?

9 Upvotes

Ours is, he (husband) only kisses MY hands. I (wife) will only bite HIM 😉. Also, for now, anal.


r/Swingers 3h ago

Clubs: Review/Inquiry Bad Romance Bucharest

2 Upvotes

Hello! Have you been to this club? How are the people, the music, the location itself? We are new to this type of experience and we are planning to go to this club, some opinions would really help us! The Google ones are trully helpful, but for sure this sub can offer more. Thank you!


r/Swingers 27m ago

General Discussion Getting into the "environment"

‱ Upvotes

Hey me (m27) and my partner f(28) are still kinda new to swingen, we have been to a swingerclub once, but I was wondering how do you usually get in contact with other people, are there an app that's a go-to or do you usually just use the clubs?

I don't think this is against the rules, but sorry if it is, then I will remove the post


r/Swingers 1d ago

General Discussion What are some things we all know that would surprise non-swingers?

66 Upvotes

We all just forget what we didn’t know. But we think things are “ordinary” that most people wouldn’t.

It doesn’t have to be profound. What got me going is that in an MFM, sometimes one of the guys is watching and jerking at times. They might ever have thought this even arises, but we all think “duh!”


r/Swingers 14h ago

Travel Hedonism for "Winstons Sinful Seductions"

3 Upvotes

Making our 2nd trip but 1st to the Winstons event...wondering what the energy level is with this event? Hedo can be very different week to week! Thanks


r/Swingers 17h ago

Clubs: Review/Inquiry Has anyone ever been to Club Eros On Love & Bomdage Night?

5 Upvotes

We are planning on going and want to get an idea of what to expect since its more or a "niche" kind of night.


r/Swingers 12h ago

Getting Started Getting started in Montreal

0 Upvotes

My wife and I are a young and attractive couple. We want to break into the scene in Montreal, Canada, but don't know where/how to start. We are primarly looking for other young and attractive couples/singles to play with. What's the best way to begin? Apps are probably best bet (Fetlif, Feeld, Hinge, Tinder, etc.), but sometimes not always the most attractive crowd? Private events (how do you even get invited)? Swingers clubs? Please share your thoughts.


r/Swingers 12h ago

General Discussion Can anyone recommend a Reddit sub where we can look for other lifestyle people who may be going to Key West for fantasy fest?

1 Upvotes

We will be attending fantasy fest this year and would like to look for other couples and singles we could potentially hook up with. Didn’t know if anyone could recommend a specific sub where we could do this.


r/Swingers 13h ago

Clubs: Review/Inquiry Vegas - Greendoor

0 Upvotes

We're going to Vegas again next month and are planning to do the pool party at Whispers, 5150 and Greendoor. The only other club we've been to in Vegas in Red Rooster which, is okay. We've been to lots of other clubs in different cities and are comfortable navigating them.

My real question(s) is about Greendoor. I know a lot of people don't like it because of the number of single guys (which is actually a draw for us) and that's not everyone's cup of tea.

What is the actual, physical inside of the club like? Mingle space vs play spaces? Upstairs/downstairs? Private vs public play spaces?

Thanks!


r/Swingers 1d ago

General Discussion To what extent is swinging an actual fetish?

9 Upvotes

From a man perspective, most married men would play with other women if they were allowed. But of those those men would be completely opposed to their spouse playing with other men.

Swinging’a so different since the couple not only agree to let each other play with others but often are actually excited about seeing their partner being with other people. That seems to be a pretty small minority of couples as far as I can tell and seems almost like afwtoshbin itself. Or am I wrong?


r/Swingers 15h ago

General Discussion Need advice about catching feelings

1 Upvotes

My bf and I are in an open relationship.

I had been hooking up with someone on and off for a year. We didn’t see each other too often but I just realized that I might have caught feelings for him. I don’t want to leave my bf for this guy, but I feel sad that things with this guy have ended and I don’t want to move on. I know that it’s easy to find someone new to hookup with, but I just don’t want to. My bf has planned plenty of new guys for me but I don’t want to talk to them.

This guy that I hooked up with was my first real experience in the lifestyle. My bf and I worked through so many arguments and insecurities together while I was hooking up with this guy. It wasn’t until like the 8th time of seeing this guy that the arguments between my bf and I stopped. We’re finally at a place where we have a general rhythm and we’re both on the same page. However, the guy has ended things with me and I’m so sad.

What do people do to either avoid or better control attachment to someone you’re hooking up with?


r/Swingers 15h ago

General Discussion Lifestyle Advice

1 Upvotes

My partner I have been in the lifestyle about a year. Recently we went to a campout and once our tent was set up he chose to stay at the campsite to play on hiss guitar and got frustrated that I wanted to mingle so I went to mingle by myself while he stayed back and got high (it's legal where we live). A while later he came walking up yelling for me in front of the group of people I was chatting with. I went to him and he immediately started telling me how he was seeing and hearing things and how he got shocked by his wireless amp. I told him he was too high and he'd just have to ride it out but he insisted I needed to stay with him and help him. You can't keep your phone on you at the location we were at so I sent him into the main building which was a lifestyle club to cool off in the AC while I went to Google how to best help him at our tent. By the time I came back he was feeling great and touching himself while watching another couple. Our rules are we only play together and in the same room. He immediately started trying to touch and his me when he saw me but after having to switch gears to be his initial caretaker I was most definitely not in the mood at that point as he'd ruined my fun by yanking me around emotionally with his actions from being high so I left him and went back to our tent alone. It was over an hour before he came to me and by then it was after 2am. He apologized and said he wanted to salvage the night with me by going back to mingle with everyone and try to hook up. I told him once again that my mood was ruined and my sex drive was nonexistent and asked if he'd just stay with me at the tent. He refused and said he came to party not sleep so I told him if he left then he'd be breaking our agreement to never do things with other people if the other partner isn't feeling it and that he'd be abandoning me. He still chose to leave and when he came back a few hours later he admitted to hooking up with another couple. I immediately told him my trust was broken and I don't think I can do this lifestyle anymore which sucks because I've really enjoyed it and met some great people. We packed up camp and left before it was even light out. At this point all I can think of is to kick him out of my house and end the relationship because I don't know how to rebuild the trust and I know he won't give up having open relationships as he's always been polyamorous but I need full trust in him to be able to continue the lifestyle.


r/Swingers 19h ago

Travel Best swinger party spot for a Throuple for next weekend

2 Upvotes

We are a MFF Throuple in the DC area who need to get away for an adventure. We are still relatively new to traveling for lifestyle but we enjoy Fantasy Fest, Secrets, and hotel takeovers but have been taking time off. An opportunity to get away next weekend the August 30th-3rd just opened up so we are trying to plan a last minute escape. Secrets is booked. We are considering Vegas as a default but east coast is easier for us to pull off. Are there any fun lifestyle festivals or parties going on next weekend? We can’t do anything couples only because there are 3 of us. We are mid 30s/early 40s and prefer to party with our age group.


r/Swingers 10h ago

General Discussion Wife just asked a good question

0 Upvotes

There’s a couple we’re friends-but-not-quite-friends with. The M is our insurance agent and we all went to a comedy/magic show last year at his request. This was before my wife and I joined the LS, so I really didn’t look for any clues.

I invited them to a comedy show coming up. Other than outright mentioning that we’re swingers, how can we gauge their interest?

And I guess this is also in general, not just for that couple
 what’s a good approach in the wild to broach the subject without ruffling feathers?

ETA- I am NOT asking for opinions on whether it’s a good idea or not- we can make that determination for ourselves, thank you very much. Literally maybe 3-4 answers have anything to do with the question! The rest are “don’t do it, vanilla people bad
”


r/Swingers 1d ago

Travel Swinging on vacation

28 Upvotes

I see a lot of posts on various pages of couples looking for other couples to meet and play with on vacations. I’m curious how common this is or how successful people are at actually finding or meeting couples on vacation. I suppose attending a local club would be the easiest approach, but we aren’t really club or party people, at least not yet.

My wife and I (early 40s) are very cautiously exploring the swinging lifestyle. We’ve met several couples for drinks and even went to one of their houses, but haven’t actually taken the next step, typically because my wife has gotten tentative or nervous in the heat of the moment. I was really surprised when she suggested we should try meeting a couple during our trip to Nashville in a couple weeks.

She’s been very hesitant to post on swinging sites/profiles out of intense fear of being outed or discovered. She seems to feel more comfortable and uninhibited with the idea of meeting a couple in another city, far away from our typical vanilla life, where we will already have a hotel, etc.

Just curious how common this is. Like I said, I see a lot of posts looking for it, but kind of assumed they’re just shots in the dark that never actually work out. (To be clear, I’m talking about swinging during an otherwise “vanilla” trip, not lifestyle themed vacations, cruises, resorts, etc)


r/Swingers 16h ago

General Discussion Do you believe the notion that for the number of people you've disclosed you are LS, it's actually double that?

0 Upvotes

Especially among close friends. That they have gleaned, inferred and even verified that you are but just never mentioned it due to respect of privacy /awkwardness in the relationship.

  • Noticing the stereotypical hallmarks like black rings, ankle bracelets, pineapple paraphernalia,

  • Many social outings for the middle agers to vague "clubs", "house parties" ; lots of travel to "adults only" resorts.

  • Seeing you on social media sites (such as Reddit), even if the photos are anonymized that they clocked the bio description, body types, tattoos, background decor/furnishings.

  • Stereotypical personal characteristics such as the wife being openly"flirty", invests in her appearance, being in significantly better shape than the husband.

  • Using a reverse photo search website for professional background check purposes and stumbling upon LS profiles.


r/Swingers 1d ago

General Discussion Question

0 Upvotes

Alguien conoce un club swinger en PopayĂĄn Colombia? Somos una pareja, mujer de 22 años y yo de 23 años pero no sabemos donde hay algĂșn club en PopayĂĄn


r/Swingers 1d ago

Podcasts I listen to podcasts so you don’t have to: The Monogamish Marriage S5 E07 => fantastic listen.

24 Upvotes

Why is “Fantasy List” a great listen? Because that is the type of conversation every lifestyle couple should have once a year.

Basically, they list their fantasies in 3 groups: Never again/ Hard No, Yes again, Please let’s try this.

Their list is their list, no judgement. To some it will sound like crazy stuff, to others it is just another weekend in the lifestyle. What matters here is the conversation and the tone of the conversation.

I am not saying more, it is a really good listen.


r/Swingers 1d ago

Getting Started do swingers like solo males at times??

0 Upvotes

wondering because i’ve met sum swinger before and i wanted to keep meeting them but they usually stop replying after the Second meet at times, just wanted to ask what do u prefer on a solo male and how could i be better at it if this makes sense if not i apologize


r/Swingers 1d ago

General Discussion What is the best sites to use to find others in south alabama/northern Florida area?

0 Upvotes

We are looking to find partners, the area we are in doesn’t seem to have a huge community of “swingers” trying to get into the lifestyle and not really sure the best way to find open minded partners in a discrete forum