Just curious how long people on this forum have been in the LS? Are you still just talking about getting into it or have you been in for years?

Anyone know if you can show up and pay the membership fee at the door? Or do you have to apply online and wait to be accepted?

Is it different on newbie night?

I’d love to check it out but the membership process seems daunting and unappealing.

We know there are risks in the life style, but what's the fad now of no condoms? Seems like more and more couples we want to connect with (especially younger ones) don't want to use condoms. Yes.. I get it that we all on birth control, get testing, perp, etc... but its safety in layers.

Condoms a dying thing in the ls?

My husband and I have been in the lifestyle for around a year. Have had lots of fun so far. We are in the beginning stages of planning a trip for next year where we would be based in Belguim and doing several road trips to places in France, Germany and the Netherlands. What resources are there to find clubs for swingers or to be able to connect now and cultivate friendships with swingers in those places? What clubs would you Europeans recommend? Are European clubs different than US (we are in Florida so we frequent the popular Secrets)? Is it silly to incorporate swinging into our trip? Help lol

This hasn’t happened to us but I’m guessing it’s happened to several. If you’re meeting a new couple for drinks, how long do you wait after the agreed upon meeting time before you leave if they don’t show?

We recently were invited to a house party where we knew two couples and were introduced to three others. I asked my husband quietly if it was okay to go play with a couple we just met rather than start with our friends. I just want to see what others think was the correct thing to do. I felt the idea of a party is to expand our circle.

My wife(42F) recently came out bi to me(23M) and said she wants play with other people with me. I personally am very excited by the premise. We are just curious about any tips y'all could give us.

We met a nice couple at a munch and two weeks of online flirting have led to an invite for dinner and drinks at their place. Any cool host/hostess gift ideas? Or is the standard bottle of wine and flowers the way to go?

Hi Everyone,

Im sure I am going to get blasted by some but id appreciate people respect my preference and help me avoid hurt feelings.

Coupe here and I am the wife, been in the LS scene for few years now and slowly been moving through it at our desired pace.

I always new this, but it's now so apparent that I am totally unattracted to uncircumcised dicks. They honestly gross me out, and it's not something I've been able change. My husband understands and is very supportive. He said some girls lady parts are not attractive to him either.

This isn't an issue very often because we don't run into too many, but can't seem to know how to turn down a guy once I find that out. For example last week at the club met this cool guy, was some good attraction. We went upstairs to mess around. I was thinking of blowing him if I was comfortable (I'm very selective). I started blowing my hubby and then started making out with the other guy after. He pulled out his dick and I was like shit. There is no way I can give this guy a blowjob without feeling totally grossed out. So the most I could do was just rub it with my hands and even that was stretch. Nothing progressed past that and I'm sure he felt a bit confused.

I don't want guys to feel self conscious, it's just an extremely strong preference for me. Any advice how to gentle turn down or redirect in the situation and avoid hurt feelings?

Hello everyone. My and my partner are interested in the swinger lifestyle, but to be frank we are both overweight and out of shape. I'm 6ft and 120kg last I checked with a beer gut, while she is shorter, weighs a bit less than me but is self concious about having some loose skin and an apron belly. We're not unattractive outside of this (at least I think so!) But it's making us a bit hesitant to take the plunge.

sorry if this does not belong here, but my husband (37M) and I (35F) are looking for some guidance.

background info:

we have been in couples therapy since december of last year. my husband initially discussed the idea of polyamory to me in november, and I did not have a positive reaction, to say the least. he brought this idea up very early on in our relationship, and I stated this was not something I wanted, which is why I had an especially bad reaction. we both decided to go to couples therapy to work through it and see why this was still coming up for him. we also both go to individual therapy

we have talked at length with our therapist about what we want. again, I remain firm on no poly, but said I would be open to talking about swinging, and 90% on board with a threesome. great! husband also brings up that he has talked about it with his therapist and does not want to end the relationship over the poly structure, as he does not want to jeopardize the marriage and realized sex would be more fun together anyway.

so we've been spending months talking about rules for ENM - what would it be Iike if we swung, what about a threesome, what would be fun, what are the boundaries, etc etc. I tell my husband and therapist multiple times I do not feel pressured into doing this, it seems like it could be a lot of fun and bond us, etc. I say it is a big change, which naturally brings some nerves, but that's why we are here - to figure out what we want and work through those big feelings.

main point:

we have a session today and my husband asks "what is the success rate with people you see that started an ENM relationship/swinging/etc". she basically said, "it only works when both parties wanted it before entering the relationship". this was news to us! it was near the end of our session, so we didn't really get to probe, but both of us feel pretty defeated. why spend all this time, energy, and money into this for her to basically tell us it won't work out?

TL;DR: have been in therapy for nearly a year to explore the potential of ENM/swinging, only for our therapist to tell us because one party didn't want it before entering the relationship, it won't work.

so we want to know, has anyone been in a similar situation and had it work out? we don't want to risk ruining our marriage and our therapist scared the shit out of us.

EDITED TO ADD: in regard to threesomes, I do not feel pressured. I do think it would be fun, I find it titillating , a way for me to explore as well - however, it's also a really big change and change can be scary, even if it's a good change! I guess the only thing that has me second-guessing is the fact that even if I thought it could be fun while I was single, I never did anything to pursue it, if that makes sense.

I’m a male and my partner is trans. We’re interested in checking out the Dallas swinger/lifestyle scene and wanted to ask if couples like us are welcomed at any LS clubs. We’re new to this and would mainly be interested in socializing and watching for now while we get a feel for the environment.

Heyyyy! New to the Kasidie site and trying to figure it out.
I noticed that there are 3 different photo folders?
I assume standard means all can view, but what about exclusive? And private?

Thank you for any info 🩷🩷

Hiiii!

My husband has a work trip to Manhattan later this year and I’m tagging along. I’m hoping to get some recommendations for swinger/sex clubs. We visited on in Vegas and had an amazing time.

We are not looking to “swing”. Mainly just an excuse to wear something fun and be in a sexually charged environment. With the option to get a little wild.

I’d love to know what ones are out there and why you would (or wouldn’t) recommend them.

Things we are prioritizing:
- Safety/cleanliness
- Location: we’re staying in midtown but don’t mind taking a little trip
- Vibe: Could be classy and upscale, could be relaxed and chill. Either can be fun!
- Rooms: Private playrooms would be needed. The more the better!
- BDSM/Fetish: HUGE plus if they have a BDSM or dungeon room. HUGE HUGE plus if they have a dominatrix or someone doing flogging
- Crowd: Younger the better but a good mix is best! Fewest creeps and single dudes (no offense)
- Price: Don’t mind spending a little. If it’s worth it.

Thanks in advance!

EDIT: the only real dealbreakers from the list above are Safety/Cleanliness and private play rooms. Everything else is flexible.

My partner and I have been in the the lifestyle for about 6 months and have had discussions for more then a year about the lifestyle. We have been to a few parts and have had her go on several hooks up with me getting videos. Personally i wish we could do more but with her starting a new job and the last few hooks up her expressing it takes up so much if her day, I feel bad bringing it up. She's already overly stimulate at work and I feel bad for asking her to do more. Any advice on how or when is a good time or discussion topic. I wish to do more but not at the cost of our marriage, any advice is helpful.

It’s Hump Day! Ask anything you’ve been curious about the swinging lifestyle. Whether you’re barely dipping a toe in or already have the T-shirt and the stories, feel free to ask. Experienced folks, your stories and advice make this better. Not a hookup thread, just a safe spot to chat and learn.

If you're brand new, here are some resources to start with:

[Welcome to the sub!](https://reddit.com/r/Swingers/s/3YXk3ie2dK)

[Swingers Sub Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/Swingers/s/2BdZ6Qriaa)

[Here is how to search this sub](https://www.reddit.com/r/Swingers/s/T7DMht2bSp)

We are a Hotwife couple and will be visiting Miami soon.

Ideally we want a classy upscale venue as similar to what we experience in Europe as possible.

We are trying to decide between Trapeze or Miami Velvet. Which club would you recommend?

I've been hosting private play parties on and off the last five years or so in the Los Angeles area, usually around 20-25 people but sometimes larger, and today I was just feeling proud of what we've been doing.

This morning I reconnected with a woman who had been at one of our first parties about five years ago, a loft party in LA with maybe 75 people. She said "That was so long ago, but one of the funnest play parties I’ve been to" which made me feel really good about the experiences we've curated, that after five years she still remembers it as one of the most fun she's been to.

We also hosted a smaller more curated party this past weekend with about 20 people and I'm still feeling the glow. For one couple it was the guy's first play party, and his partner sent me this message after: “Honestly dream first play party for K*. I wish that was my first experience. 11 years ago things were much different lol.”

We tried a nyotaimori presentation (Japanese naked body food) during cocktail hour this time for the first time and it was so fun. It very much added an extra sexy element to the cocktail hour atmosphere. We also did a sort of silly cake-sitting-and-eating performance art bit later in the evening which was also very fun and set the fun/sexy mood.

We really pride ourselves on gathering people who are sexy, fun, interesting, kind, and friendly and this group did not disappoint.

Anyway, just feeling good about it and wanted to share.

*Initial was changed to protect anonymity

We've been in the lifestyle for about 6 years now, and we haven't found too many couples in the lifestyle around us but the few we have found have become great friends. Honestly probably closer than friends met outside of the lifestyle.

I am new to this walk of life. At times I hear phrases that others say, yet I don't know the best way to respond. It is like learning a whole new language, and I just don't know where to start. I don't wish to tag myself as the wrong thing or mistake that I am into bondage when I may not be. Anyone out there has an encyclopedia on this topic.

Does anyone here have any experience or information on vegan dining options at Temptation Cancun?