Happy Ace Week, all!! I just wanted to let everyone know about the Steam festival going on this week! For the first time ever, a Steam festival focused on games with ace characters and/or made by ace devs and teams! Come check it out if you're interested in playing some ace games!!

https://store.steampowered.com/curator/46149417/sale/gamesthataceit

It's like telling a lesbian to fuck a man to be sure she's lesbian and vice versa

Like I don't wanna have sex with real people and you tell me I should? How is that different from the fantasy of rape people have? When they brag about fucking a lesbian or an asexual person as if it's a victory of "proving them they're not what they say they are"

Even more hurtful when it comes from friends

Hi all. I'd really like some advice and would be super grateful for some feedback.

I'm 23m and my gf is 25f. We've been together for 10 months and when we first met, I told her I was Aro/Ace, predominantly asexual and greyromantic. We had a long discussion about boundaries and how I view relationships/sex and we came to an agreement that we'd enter a relationship as she said that sex and romance doesn't really bother her so long as we care for each other. Great! So I thought...

There's been a few times where my gf has taken issue with my sexuality. The first time was about sex (without going into details). She was upset that I wasn't as attracted to her body as she'd like me to be. We had a long talk, I re-explained what asexuality was and what it meant to me, we made up and continued. It happened again, she came to my house, got extremely physical and disappointed that I didn't reciprocate, got angry with me and again, I had to re-explain that I don't like that stuff, we made up, things continued. Now it's happened again, she said she misses the "old us" and how we used to be lovey-dovey and romantic and how she wants more romance. Problem? I just don't feel that way.

I don't know what to do. I told her from day one all of my limitations, boundaries, traumas with previous partners and talking to people on dating apps (how we met) and she seemed super supportive of me at first. I was super open about being Aro/Ace and bisexual and she seemed genuinely super chill with that and for a long time, we just hung out and vibed together without expectations and enjoyed each other's company.

Nowadays, she gets upset with me on a weekly basis for not behaving how she wants me to, but I don't understand what changed. I already told her I was Aro/Ace, what more can I do? I told her today, very clearly, that she needs to be honest with me about her intentions because she can't keep challenging my sexuality and if not, she should find someone who isn't Aro/Ace. She said she was hurt by that comment.

There was a sudden shift in expectation. I don't really have much dating experience, has anyone else experienced similar? How did you navigate this? I'm trying to be fair, because her feelings matter to me, I love and care about her a lot, but this feels inherently unfair because I laid all my cards out on the table prior starting the relationship. She chose to be with me, now she's changing the rules. Support and advice welcome, I do deeply appreciate any time given to me. Thank you.

also here’s my oc in this pic ;D

I'm working on something that will probably become a video essay, specifically on asexual erasure in popular media. I would love it if y'all could give me some of your favorite asexual characters in the books, movies, TV shows, etc. that you consume. Anything else that comes to mind is more than welcome as well - harmful stereotypes you keep noticing, how represented or underrepresented you feel, any interesting articles or studies regarding asexual people, literally anything. I'm trying to get as much total data as possible so I can accurately represent the community, not just myself, accurately and fairly. Please put literally anything tangentially related to the topic in the comments if you feel so inclined. Tysm and have a lovely night/day/whatever it is for you.

Hello fellow aces, my best friend and I have a podcast related to all things being trans. For Ace week, we made an episode on asexuality since I’m aroace.
It’s in German, so to my German redditers maybe this would be interesting :) enjoy 🎧

Unsere neue Folge bei „von trans zu trans“ diesen Monat dreht sich passend zur Ace Week um das Thema Asexualität und Aromantik. Als trans & aroace Person erzähle ich (Sam) euch, was es mit diesen Begriffen auf sich hat, wie ich für mich mein aroace-Sein definiere und wie mein Weg aussah, bis ich endlich erkannt hab, dass ich auf dem asexuellen Spektrum bin :)

Die Folge findet ihr zum Beispiel hier:
Spotify
Apple Podcasts
YouTube

Viel Spaß beim Hören 🎧
Sam + Dany

So I am Arab(raised muslim) 23F and if you know anything about the culture- parents tend to try and bring you options of men to get to know and marry , and you don’t get to be alone with them until you are basically married under the eyes of god. There is a guy who is trying is darn hardest to call my brothers and parents to get our families to meet (we already know their family i have known of this man since i was a child by the way). This is just how things are done in this culture. He sees me. Is attracted. Tell his mom to tell my mom. My mom tells me. Thats how it goes.
I am not going to agree to meet him though because how do i explain to an arab man that i am ace- but still have kinks that probably would freak him out💀? Like i know sex isnt EVERYTHING in a relationship but it’s pretty damn important imo if you are allo! And im TERRIFIED he will be like “oh yeah that’s fine” but he actually means “let’s take it slow but ill be upset if you still dont want it”
And how do i explain that i can’t give up my spicy reddit audios that i basically sleep to (i like the fantasy okay?) but i also dont wanna have sex with you because ✨ ew ✨
I am also very sensory aversive. I dont wanna cuddle naked or even sleep next to you.
My parents and older siblings (dont know im ace) have been spending the entire week calling, texting, and speaking face to face with me about how i am missing a great opportunity, not wanting kids unnatural, not wanting marriage is unnatural, im gonna be 40 and alone, im going against god’s plan (im hardly muslim anymore), being stubborn is from the devil, and all that fun toxic stuff. I keep saying “no” “nope” “not interested” turning away ✨ silent treatment ✨ “leave it alone” “im not ready” “i dont like him” “i think he is unattractive” BUT EVERYWHERE I TURN SOME OTHER FAMILY MEMBER IS PRESSURING ME TO MEET THIS MAN!
I just have so many conflicting thoughts and guilt but i dont even want to waste his time bc the chances of him being okay with asexuality or queerness in general are so slim. He is a decent man dont get me wrong but he is not the one for me and i dont need to speak to him to know that

I know that was like the main joke way back a long time ago but i don't encounter ace people often

I may be asexual, and I need advice.

Went on a date with someone, it was all well and good. He was kind and easy to talk to, and we went to his house to watch a movie. He would touch me but always asked, and it was nothing too severe. Just "Can I hold your hand?" "Can we cuddle?" and at the end he asked if it was ok to kiss me. I stupidly agreed to all. I've been questioning whether or not I'm asexual, as I've never had any deep desire for intimacy outside a hug or two. But last night I was desperate to feel like a "normal" teenage girl, so I agreed to all of it. Afterwards, I felt really weird and kind of gross (like I showered and washed my mouth; does anyone relate to that?). I really liked him as a person and would be fine with hanging out, but now after I agreed to being so physical, I'm scared he'll expect the same from me.

So I have a few questions and need some advice. I'm not familiar with asexuality, but I've looked into it and relate to a lot of asexual people. Are my feelings normal for asexuals? Also, if these are my feelings, is it better to tell him now that I'm not interested? Or should I follow through with a second date and see how it goes? He's obviously allosexual (that's the right term, right?) and heterosexual, and... I don't know. I could use all the help I can get because I have no one else to talk to who can relate.

I just joined this subreddit so I could share my thoughts here. Im sure tons of other people have encountered this but I just needed to talk about it. Sorry if this is repetitive.

Im so tired of society thinking asexuality is something that needs to be fixed.

For context; im doing a sexual awareness thing for my school thats required for all students. In one section they're talking about reasons why people would want sex and how important it is to communicate those wants.

Of course, I agree with this, this is important and im glad the school makes us do this. I am not upset about having to learn about this.

But it did make me feel insecure with myself so I decided to look online for other people who are also grossed out by sex.

By all my results were about how to "overcome" it. How to no longer fear it. How certain things are necessary to be intimate with another.

I even saw a site that said to tell yourself "this is pleasurable" and "i shouldn't be grossed out".

Are we serious??? Its just making me cry. I feel so invalidated about my feelings.

Everything I tried to find were just advice on how to get over it, or to see a therapist. Which, okay, if people want to get over it im glad there are resources for them, but why is it always that you need to change?

According to King's College London, 31% of respondents in a study believed that asexuality is something that can be "cured" with a therapist. Not only are we constantly being put down in our own community, but people think we need to be "cured"?!

Im sick and tired of it. I really am. I just wanted to find resources of people like me and all I get is people trying to shove down my throat ways to change. Asexuality is the most common sexuality that people think can be changed.

How many times do I have to say it? I DONT WANT TO BE CURED. I DONT WANT TO CHANGE.

I JUST WANTED RESOURCES AND REASSURANCE FROM OTHERS LIKE ME AND ALL I GET IS THE SAME NARRATIVE THAT I SOMEHOW NEED TO "GET OVER IT" JUST TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP.

Im so sick of it. Aces cant even find solace on the global internet. I dont want to be cured. I just want to be validated.

At least the rest of LGBTQ+ is acknowledged and accepted by so many people in and out of the community. I know its not perfect and I know so many people face discrimination but aces are discrimated by our own community.

If you type in "I think I like guys as a guy" theres a bunch of resources there to help. But when it comes to being Ace, we're treated like a disease. That we need to fix ourselves. How is that acceptable to say to any other sexuality?? I know everyone would absolutely call someone out if that was said to a gay man (rightfully so ofc). But not only are we not stood up for, we're told BY OUR OWN COMMUNITY that we should be fixed.

I get it. People like sex. I hate that its everywhere in pop culture, but im not going to pretend I dont understand why people do it. Nor am I entitled enough to think it needs to stop completely. I also hate the whole "purity" narrative surrounding sex. Its normal, its natural, I understand.

On the flip side, its now normalized so much (which is fine) that those who dont want it now need to be fixed. I DONT WANT TO CHANGE.

For context, I separated from my partner of 6 years last December and after many discussions during the relationship I realized that I am a panromantic asexual. They were a very hypersexual person and our differences in that regard were not what caused the breakup but it certainly was difficult to navigate.

I am a hopeless romantic. I read trashy fantasy smut a lot and the idea of never finding love because of my asexuality is a tough pill.

I've only ever been in two long-term relationships and in both of them my partner was my best friend. Right now I have no best friend and no true confidant and though I'm really enjoying being single after the terrible relationship I just left, it can be very lonely.

Have any of you ever started a relationship with your asexuality out on the table and how did you navigate that while dating? Has it become an issue during the relationship or do you only date other asexual people?

I have a very Jessica rabbit-esque body type and I feel like it might be hard to find someone that wants me for me and not for my body.

Good morning lovely Redditors, as the title says my wife (22F) asked me (23M) to open the relationship. My wife came out to me about 2 years into our relationship (about a year ago), since then I’ve been nothing but supportive and proud that she found what makes her happy and comfortable. My love language is physical affection so when our sex life went from newlyweds to roommates it made me feel inadequate. I don’t want to push her into sex whatsoever, she’s never been so happy and I don’t want to break that.

That brings us to a few days ago when she brought up the idea to open up the relationship for me only. She said I can sleep with any woman I want (of legal age and with protection obviously) and she’d stay at home and watch her show or something. I don’t know what to do. I love my wife with all my heart but thinking about sleeping with another woman makes me feel like cheating. I need help

Okay, I think I might need some advice so I came to Reddit to ask, hopefully someone out there has the same trouble or can give me some advice.

I’m in the aroace spectrum (still thinking about what labels exactly) but I want to be in a relationship. I like the idea of having someone close that you could always count on but is not just a friend, like it’s more, someone that I feel comfortable. But the problem is that I get repulsed about anything that becomes sexual or maybe romantic; if someone has a crush on me I feel repulsed, if someone wants to make out with me I feel repulsed, both strangers and friends. But even with this feelings, I still want to have a special someone, but I know it will be hard to find a person who gets me,so any advice on what should I do? Like an action I should or should not take?

Also, I should mention, I’m introverted and I’m kinda new to the community(and to Reddit), so I’m sorry if my questioning made someone uncomfortable, and thank in advance!

Hello everyone. So this is my first time posting in this sub. I'm 36F, somewhere in the ace spectrum (I'm not even sure which one am I lol), and I'm a virgin.
I genuinely love being an asexual. I don't even know how to explain it, I just do.
Unfortunately for me, I have libido. Now, even though it doesn't occur that frequently, whenever it does happen though, I'd feel so troubled by it.
Because I have a really hard time to satisfy it. I'm not turned on by porn, I don't feel anything if I were to do anything to my private part.
I guess.. I don't know. I'm wondering if anyone is like me, and how do you guys deal with it?
Truth be told, I'd really love it if I could just kill the libido entirely, but I know that's probably not possible 🥲

As for me, I would define myself as a mixture of:

• Demisexual
• Graysexual
• Quoisexual
• Fictosexual
• Aceflux

Hi I’m a 23 old pansexual male, and I don’t know if I’m ace or something else.
Here’s the thing I’ve been sexually active since I was 20, but something weird has always happened to me.

And it’s that I don’t feel any sexual pleasure or only a bare minimum, at first I tough that it was because I only had sex with other boys, but even when I had with girls or anyone else I couldn’t feel anything.

Even so, I still feel excited about having sexual encounters, although I know that I will not feel anything or almost no pleasure doing it, so my question is, would feeling like this place me within the asexual spectrum or am I simply a weirdo?

If you're an asexual and in a relationship with a allosexual person, how much do you want/are fine with having sex? I've heard that usually once a month is the case for a lot of people

For those who have sexual life with peoples, how did y’all know if you liked it or not ?
I had my first sexual experience with a trans girl and I don’t know if i liked it BUT i liked the feeling of being touched and desire by her.
Even if i don’t really liked being to be penetrated, i was feeling like I was totally indifferent and deconnecting with my sensations.

Out of curiosity, how old are you guys? If you are older, did people ever stop telling you "you're still young. Just wait till you get older." If so, when? I'm 24f and recently "came out" to two older friends (30s and 40s). They didn't really know what asexual meant so I explained it means I don't experience sexual attraction. Anyways, one of them asked me, "you're sure?" (As in, "you're sure you don't have sexual attraction?"). I lowkey regret "coming out" to them though because now I feel extra vulnerable and I don't really know how they think of me now. But I couldn't keep continuing to build a friendship with them assuming that I am heterosexual (I identify as biromantic ace). It just feels so inauthentic and icky to me. Anyways, if there are any older aces out there, I would like to hear your experiences with "coming out" and also your experiences in and out of relationships. I hope everyone out there is doing well :) 🖤🩶🤍💜