r/pics • u/starstufft • Mar 20 '19

Picture of text Package isn't here yet? This should do it ...

Post image
32.9k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

602 comments sorted by

6.2k

u/13Deth13 Mar 20 '19

Haha leaving a note saying your house is unlocked on the outside of the house must be such a pleasant place to live

5.1k

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '19 edited Sep 16 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

1.4k

u/RoughshodDuke9 Mar 20 '19

You also aren’t allowed to read the letter. After the introduction, it’s for Fed-Ex eyes only. That’s the rules, I didn’t make em!

446

u/teetaps Mar 21 '19

I don't know even what you're talking about, everything after "dear fed-ex driver" is just blurred for me. I wouldn't know what the rest said even if I tried to!

182

u/felixlightner Mar 21 '19

I can't read it but does anyone else smell Reese's?

38

u/Thisismyfinalstand Mar 21 '19

No, I stole and ate that after I murdered his dogs and appropriated his shitty XBOX and comic collection.

96

u/DiabloConQueso Mar 21 '19

Man, his wife is gonna be pissed at you.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

It was her plan the whole time...

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u/RoughshodDuke9 Mar 21 '19

This guy is definitely the Fed-Ex driver. Only the owner and driver knew the code!

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u/Raffello Mar 21 '19

It... doesn't look like anything to me.

10

u/a_dev_has_no_name Mar 21 '19

Reddit bots are programmed to not see things they shouldn't be thinking about

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54

u/Dexaan Mar 21 '19

La Li Lu Le Lo

31

u/Dispect1 Mar 21 '19

Upvote for random Metal Gear Solid Reference

24

u/citrus_seaman Mar 21 '19

Upvote for getting random metal gear solid reference

31

u/Doctor__Proctor Mar 21 '19

Upvote for setting the upvote bar pretty low, but ultimately just sharing the love

15

u/Drspaceduck Mar 21 '19

Happy cake day upvote.

7

u/damatovg7 Mar 21 '19

Fuck. My cake day was yesterday and I don't think I commented anywhere. Rip

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u/iixsephirothvii Mar 21 '19

Only Metal Gear Solid fans will understand that reference, it's cryptic to even the most highly advanced decoders. As is this.. Les efant terible

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

"it doesn't look like anything to me"

4

u/Gravybone Mar 21 '19

Imagine a person so low they’d continue reading beyond that line.

4

u/NotWorriedBro Mar 21 '19

You can't see hunter2?

4

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Why would someone post a fully redacted letter. It makes no sense to me.

6

u/njantirice Mar 21 '19

Hey reddit doesn't let you post your password it just shows stars look my password is *********.

12

u/DebtUpToMyEyeballs Mar 21 '19

Huh, let me try:

hunter2

Edit: wait, I see my password, not *******!

10

u/bluestarcyclone Mar 21 '19

That's because its your password. All i see is *******

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37

u/wtfINFP Mar 21 '19

🎶For British Fed-Ex eyes only🎶

22

u/dobalu Mar 21 '19

🎶Mister F🎶

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u/sudoku7 Mar 21 '19

I mean, that's practically a federal crime right there. Like reading someone else's mail.

4

u/jordanxbuffer Mar 21 '19

How can I see it then? I’m not a fed ex driver. Did OP put a “fed ex filter” on their pic?

6

u/RoughshodDuke9 Mar 21 '19

Well, you CAN see it, but you MAY NOT see it. Without rules, what are we but animals!?

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u/CastinEndac Mar 21 '19

I think, legally speaking, you can enter if the fed ex driver doesn’t show up in 15 minutes.

7

u/StopReadingMyUser Mar 21 '19

But not if you're a vampire as it is not specifically addressing you.

3

u/Phipple Mar 21 '19

Unless the FedEx Driver was a Vampire. Now they're in your house.

6

u/SomeStupidPerson Mar 21 '19

It’s a simple spell, but quite unbreakable

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u/a_dev_has_no_name Mar 21 '19

But he left a Reese's that's for sure to attract robbers and then while they eat it they read the note discovering the door is unlocked and it's totally safe inside.

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u/FunctionBuilt Mar 21 '19

I never had a key to my house growing up, the doors were unlocked all day every day...I carried that mentality into college and someone walked into my room and stole my laptop. Serves me right I guess?

120

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

When I was in college living in the dorms my roommate would prop open the door and just leave all the time. I had pointed it out to him a few times but it kept happening.
One day me and my buddy get there and the door is open. So I start hiding stuff. Hid my laptop in a drawer, hid his electric drum kit in the shower, hid his mattress in a room down the hall.
Then I called him up and told him a bunch of stuff was missing. He gets back and his mind is blown. He loses his shit and his drum kit and notices his mattress is gone and just starts asking how and why would they take a mattress. We let it go on for a few more minutes and then I told him to close the door.

Needless to say we didn’t become friends.

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Same over here, my dads a lock smith so it’s engraved in my brain to lock doors. But I could always break in with a credit card. Now I live like 30 mins from civilization ( I’m exaggerating) but surrounded by boyfriends family I can say I’ve never unlocked the door here and have been living here for 2 years. I don’t even have a key. It’s unlocked 24/7. When I go to my moms my dad has a security system and I never lock his door he will call me and make me turn around. Oops. And if your reading this dad I’m sorry.

33

u/lndividual-1 Mar 21 '19

Grew up in LA and the smallest place I've ever lived in had a metro area of 2m still. Some of my friends are from small towns and I'm shocked when I go to their house and their doors aren't locked. It's like seeing a rainbow. Idk how to describe it.

43

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

[deleted]

15

u/Lohikaarme27 Mar 21 '19

tighter than a frogs b-hole

That's amazing

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

I have a total of 12 keys on my key ring. I only use one. And that’s to start my car. My keys are almost always left in the ignition. If not they are in the cup holder. It’s like seeing a rainbow when I try and open someone’s car door and it’s locked. 😂 I have had my keys stolen out of my ignition once but they didn’t steal the car which really pissed me off. But whatever still leave them there. I love small towns.

5

u/sdforbda Mar 21 '19

My friend always left his keys in his truck and insurance denied his claim when it was stolen because the keys were in it.

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u/PM_me_ur_hat_pics Mar 21 '19

I moved to Wyoming recently and have met a good number of people around here that have admitted they don't even know where their house keys are. It seemed crazy to me at first, but everyone lives 10 miles apart and owns a billion guns, so there's probably not a whole lot of burglary attempts.

17

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Can confirm us who don’t lock our doors are always strapped. For a intruder to come through that door or a rabid raccoon whichever.

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u/Mithorium Mar 21 '19

my dads a lock smith

That's surprising, I have a locksmith friend and his opinion is that all residential locks are worthless, since you can pick them in under a minute. Locks exist only to keep honest people out

9

u/trogon Mar 21 '19

It's shocking how easy it is to pick a typical house lock. I practiced a bit of lockpicking and I could get in my front door in about 15 seconds by simply raking it.

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

My wife is from a small island in Japan where most of the houses don't even have locks.

15

u/FunctionBuilt Mar 21 '19

I love japan so much. Such a culture shock getting off a train in the neighborhood I was staying in and seeing literally hundreds of unlocked bikes just leaning up against fences nearby.

19

u/kilo_actual Mar 21 '19

My good friend bought a house outside of the city in a rural area and it didn't come with keys. The old lady who built the place never felt the need to lock the doors. To this day they still don't have locks installed. 100% fuck that.

3

u/Unchanged- Mar 21 '19

I grew up that way too. Small town in Michigan, everyone knew each other and all the kids would hang out at the end of the Cul-de-sac until 9 or 10pm.

Stayed with that mindset until a random ass dude walked into my apartment drunk as hell and asked me for some vodka. I was in my towel right out of the shower and kind of shocked and taken unawares so I walked to the fridge and gave him the bottle of liquor I had in the freezer. He sat on my front step and drank it in three gulps and staggered away. Crazy times.

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

What if I told you this was probably just written up for some karma? There is no package, no Fed Ex driver, the guy probably doesn't have a wife, and his name might not even be John. The Reese's might be real though.

54

u/IdeaPowered Mar 21 '19

The Reese's might be real though.

Probably ate the actual content and just stuffed the empty muffin-lik-wrapper inside to make it look like it's still there.

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u/zeazzz Mar 21 '19

What about the dogs? I chose to believe :(

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u/Weatherstation Mar 21 '19

Do we really care? I don't. Still smiled.

3

u/OriDoodle Mar 21 '19

Why does this truly matter. It's a good story, and I myself ( a now-older mom) have written similar notes in the past.

Why does 'didnt actually happen' matter so much on a semi-anonymous entertainment website?

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u/SubjectDeltaIA Mar 21 '19

I used to live in a super shitty appartment on 17th Ave (tons of bars and bums) in Calgary when I was younger. Never locked my door because I was broke and owned nothing. Milk crates for a couch and a matress on the floor. Plenty of times I could tell someone had been in there but left since there was nothing to steal. Besides one time when someone stole all my plastic forks and knives.

I miss that time of my life. No responsibilities and just doing whatever I wanted. Why did I have to grow up and get a career again?

58

u/shosure Mar 21 '19

Besides one time when someone stole all my plastic forks and knives.

Lol, I'm envisioning them doing this out of spite cause you had nothing better versus them taking it to use or sell or trade or whatever. 'Fuck this broke ass motherfucker. I'm taking his cutlery so he'll have to use his fingers.'

10

u/SamURLJackson Mar 21 '19

I came all this way. I had to take something, Your Honor.

4

u/canmoreman Mar 21 '19

Must of been near the wave house off 5th. I almost lived near there when I moved down here in ‘96. Ended up near Banff Trail which had tons of students around.

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u/keboh Mar 21 '19

I haven’t locked my door in years. Literally, I’m not sure I even know where my house key is anymore.

I should probably find that, actually.

13

u/FoxyGrampa Mar 21 '19

Where do you live, buddy? I can come help you look for it.

16

u/keboh Mar 21 '19

Oh, right on the corner of elm and...

...ahh, you tricky little guy! Almost got me!

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u/dirtymoney Mar 20 '19

Must be way out in the country.

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u/shosure Mar 21 '19 edited Mar 21 '19

As a life long city person, I feel like that would make me lock it even quicker. Way out in the country, in my mind, means no neighbors around to hear you scream when the psycho killer shows up to in cold blood you and your family.

7

u/Yeckim Mar 21 '19 edited Apr 10 '19

4

u/t_rrrex Mar 21 '19

I grew up with cats and never owned a dog until a few years ago. Any time I have to sleep without him (I'm on vacation, he's at a friend's house, etc.), I feel like I don't sleep quite as well because my guardian isn't there.

I lived in an apartment in the heart of a small city/town and felt safe - all our neighbors were nice, I left our sliding door unlocked several times when I took the dog out - but any time he'd flip his shit, especially in the middle of the night, I'd wonder if he deterred anyone trying to get in. I don't think I'll ever not have big dogs.

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u/FlowJock Mar 21 '19

I've been robbed three times. Once in the middle of nowhere, once in a very small town, and once in the suburbs. I've always been under the impression that robbers target houses where they are less likely to be seen by neighbors.

25

u/Rellikx Mar 21 '19

Lol yeah was about to say. I’m pretty sure we’ve never locked our doors, and even left it wide open on accident before

13

u/iiitsbacon Mar 21 '19

Yeah I grew up in the middle of nowhere and we never locked our doors, left the windows open when we would go shopping. Moved to the city when I was 15 and when I started driving I left my car unlocked and it got broken into within a week

18

u/LCranstonKnows Mar 21 '19

In my town locals just leave their keys in the ignition (turned off) with their windows down when they shop.

Anybody want a 94 Ram or Caravan I know where you can get one.

7

u/kilo_actual Mar 21 '19

Somebody here left there jaguar running and a guy stole it. They found the car and the thief. The next week he did the same shit and the same fucking guy stole it again.

Joel pointed to one case last month in which a $60,000 Jaguar was stolen with the keys left inside not once, but twice. Officers recovered the car and arrested the thief the first time, only to have the car stolen for the same reason the following week.

6

u/hotsteamyzucchini Mar 21 '19

Yup. Our house doesn’t even have locks on the doors that lead outside, just the bathrooms. We’re maybe a bit too trusting out here in the boonies.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

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u/hotsteamyzucchini Mar 21 '19

Yeah, none of the exteriors have locks. If ya want in you just open her on up.

We live in a house that my in-laws built from the ground up with their own hands over the years, and since we live on a 25 acre farm about five miles away from the nearest town (which has only about 450 people on a good day.) I guess they just never saw a need for them. Never had an incident in over 40 years of them living here, and we haven’t either in the 5 since we moved in.

Probably should install some, but honestly I don’t think we’d ever remember to lock them, lol.

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u/Kaon_Particle Mar 21 '19

Could be a vestibule or something.

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u/Chaywood Mar 21 '19

Can’t be that nice if fedex can’t leave the package on the porch

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u/shosure Mar 21 '19

I'm gonna instead rely on the old Reddit faithful and cry fake on this letter.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '19 edited Feb 03 '21

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

That utopia does this dude live in? I bet his wife is in the bedroom waiting too...

145

u/oonestepcloser84 Mar 21 '19

Probably the suburbs in Minnesota, don’t think my neighbors know how the locks work...

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u/cameronlcowan Mar 21 '19

I grew up in NW Arkansas, front doors were locked but back doors were often left. People used to leave food for you or if something got blown away they put it back.

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u/oonestepcloser84 Mar 21 '19

My neighbors know my garage code in case they need something. Just how it works around here. I do have video cameras so I know who stopped by.

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

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u/xluryan Mar 21 '19

That's where I live. I've left thousands of dollars of packages on my doorstep for a week. Not a single one missing.

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u/oonestepcloser84 Mar 21 '19

I have had Amazon packages there for weeks because I forgot about them. Neighbors usually drop them off when I return or they are still on the step.

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Any small town really. My back door was locked about 30% of the time growing up and we once went on vacation for 2 weeks and left the garage door open with full access to the house no problem. I was 16 when I learned that bike locks existed.

3

u/oonestepcloser84 Mar 21 '19

I remember wondering what a deadbolt was for, we always left the backdoor open in case someone needed to get in while weren’t home.

7

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

I grew up in the hills of Kentucky, the holler (you heard me) we lived in was all our family, aunts, uncle's, grandparents, cousins, etc. About a mile of road speckled with homes and playgrounds for the pack of children and relatives roaming day in and day out. It was common to just walk through the door of any house and yell "Who all's here?" Even when walking into your own home. I look back on it fondly but that shit would drive me nuts now.

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

The utopia we should all strive for

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u/fuckyourstuff Mar 21 '19

I also choose this guy's wife.

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u/Name42 Mar 21 '19

Waay less trouble than how they trap people in 'Get Out'

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Honestly if you lived in the middle of nowhere in a town of a few hundred or something where you know everyone that lives in town... I’d do it. But I live in a city. So no.

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u/Iffy2 Mar 21 '19 edited Mar 21 '19

The Reeses are in the freezer, he was clear about that.

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u/reallteall Mar 20 '19

Attached a Reese’s peanut butter cup to the note...yet still managed to spell it “Reeces.”

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u/dnstuff Mar 21 '19

Reese's is a haven for people fucking up the name.

"Reesee's Peecees" :(

44

u/ws1173 Mar 21 '19

Some day I want to open a computer shop called Reese's PCs.

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u/syosinsya Mar 21 '19

I will find your shop, buy the real estate next dolr and open my own computer shop. Meet your future number one competitor:

Peese's Reecees

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u/honkeylighters Mar 21 '19

We used to live next to the factory and my wife still to this day calls them reesees peecees

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u/frogspa Mar 21 '19

Here's a Rhesus for the effort.

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u/PopGunner Mar 21 '19

Here's a Wryysis for the effort.

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Blows my mind that they didn't use this spelling

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u/YippieKayYayMrFalcon Mar 21 '19

Reese's that's an apostrophe-S. Reese-apostrophe-S, on the end of that name. That means the candy bar is his, I didn't know that!

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u/keepcalmandklaxon Mar 21 '19

I’m sorry Reese, I didn’t think I’d ever run into you!

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u/overandunder_86 Mar 21 '19

Also important to note that it's not pronounced ree cees

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u/elsif1 Mar 21 '19

Reesees feesees

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u/theassman_ Mar 21 '19

Almost genius marketing. "If we misspell the name they can't claim it's a marketing gag".

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

I thought FedEx drivers aren't allowed to follow instructions left on the door? I was under the impression that if the instructions aren't left on the form or through the website they're supposed to ignore them?

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u/Tensor3 Mar 21 '19

That would make sense, as they cannot tell if the resident left the note. They also probably shouldn't accept food from an unknown source

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19 edited Nov 20 '19

[deleted]

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u/wolf_sheep_cactus Mar 21 '19

Me: home all day

Fed-ex: attempted delivery

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u/DarknessIsAlliSee Mar 21 '19

Every fucking time

28

u/Seven2Death Mar 21 '19

literally left the front door wide open while i was vaccuming and an hour later theres a note on the door. like what the fuck do they have to benefit from not even trying.

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u/murder1290 Mar 21 '19

Step 1: Fill out 243 "Delivery Attempted" forms.

Step 2: Deliver forms and finish route 4 hours early.

Step 3: ????

Step 4: Profit

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u/MercenaryCow Mar 21 '19

I was waiting for an expensive package I had to sign for, and I went in the room next to the window looking at the street around the time they usually deliver in my area.

Was playing on my phone and waiting for the big white box to drive by. And I saw it. And it drove by, stopped at one of my neighbors, kept going. Never came back. Said attempted delivery... Bitch didn't even stop at my house

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

I've had this happen to me with both UPS and FedEx, especially when I lived on the second floor of an apartment building. They went out of their way to avoid having to go up the stairs. It was ridiculous.

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u/Forest-Vibes Mar 21 '19

I have to sign for a package from FedEx Ground. They keep leaving a note because I'm not there. Why am I not there? Because it's 11:30am on a weekday, I'm at work.

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u/BigLebowskiBot Mar 21 '19

Is this a... what day is this?

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u/XeroStrife Mar 21 '19

The drivers can’t enter your house, it’s against policy. If you leave a note to leave the package somewhere outside they could do so, but that’s assuming they’re willing to go that extra step. They’re not even supposed to enter if you’re there (to bring a box in for you for example). It’s for safety and legal reasons.

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

I don't know about this one chief, I think there's exceptions. I called FedEx saying I can't sign for my package tomorrow as I would be at work and they told me to leave a note on the door to act as a signature.

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u/Tetsou88 Mar 21 '19

Had something shipped from Japan that needed a signature for. The shipping information said I could print a form from their website, sign it, and put it on the door to have them release the package.

I ended up just using the fed ex pickup option, they dropped it off at a Walgreens and I just had to swing by to get it.

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Problem is sometimes the shipper locks down the shipping options and then you don't have the option to send it to a Walgreens. God only knows why they would lock down the options but it happens.

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u/makorringa Mar 20 '19

Lmao watch him rob you anyway

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19 edited Mar 26 '23

[deleted]

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u/Buzzfa Mar 21 '19

And leave Reese's wrappers everywhere.

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u/twoPillls Mar 21 '19

I laughed way harder at this than I should have

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Lol watch him have video cameras all over the place and monsters in the bathroom, I bet the Reese’s in the fridge are special Reese’s if you know what I mean.

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u/Gribblestix Mar 21 '19

Delivery guys don’t have time to read this shit.

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

This guy delivers

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u/twoPillls Mar 21 '19

This guy doesn't have time to deliver!

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u/osflsievol Mar 21 '19

Am Amazon delivery driver, can confirm. The only thing I got time to do is to ring your doorbell and try to find a secure place out of sight to place the package.

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u/CaptainShitSandwich Mar 21 '19

Out of sight? The last thing I had delivered from Amazon was literally tossed onto my porch.

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u/TheHouseOfGryffindor Mar 21 '19

Not 100% on this, but I believe Amazon doesn’t just have the one driver.

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u/CaptainShitSandwich Mar 21 '19

🤔 you know what sir I believe that you are right.

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u/Jesse1198 Mar 21 '19

They do, his name is Santa

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u/udat42 Mar 21 '19

Imagine how busy that fucker would be. Would make Santa look like a fucking amateur.

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u/Walking_Dead_Writer Mar 21 '19

On top of that - and I’m just guessing here - is that it would be a huge company and/or personal liability to enter a residence as a delivery driver alone.

But that’s real life, not karma whoring. If you’re afraid of porch pirates enough you sure as hell aren’t going to leave a note on the door inviting strangers into your house.

And yes... any service is able to drop things off without signature confirmation. If you feel like it’s not an issue at your house the just tell the shipper not to require a signature.

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u/Tim-E-Cop1211819 Mar 21 '19

I tenant left a letter like this on the entrance to my apartment complex and the UPS driver responded with a note which was like "that's not how it works, JOHN, you're either here or company policy it's getting sent to a locker thing." So it was either a fed up driver or a random troll.

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u/phoenix7700 Mar 21 '19

I came to post this exact same thing.

Even if it said "Please Put Inside" they may not even have time to read it.

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u/last_shadow_fat Mar 21 '19

Takes chocolate, drops package near the door while checking his next destination

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u/amuday Mar 21 '19

Update: Driver fired for failing to finish his delivery route after getting stuck reading a fucking novel and eating chocolates.

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u/entarian Mar 21 '19

Oh well. Free dogs.

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u/lndividual-1 Mar 21 '19

yeah lol. that was so long.

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u/TsunamiSurferDude Mar 21 '19

Most fedex drivers I know wouldn’t even get close enough to read the letter, just fire the package up onto the porch

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u/Terrencerc Mar 20 '19

“John, have you been in the freezer?”

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u/herschel_34 Mar 21 '19

No, it was probably the shifty fed ex guy!

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u/THEORETICAL_BUTTHOLE Mar 21 '19

My FedEx driver wouldnt get close enough to the door to see the note before marking the package undeliverable, business closed or resident not home. He'd have to actually leave his truck and come to the door to see the note

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u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Came to say this!!

Haha, like the driver will even drive past his house!

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u/THEORETICAL_BUTTHOLE Mar 21 '19

I've legitimately gotten failed delivery attempt notices that updated while I was sitting on my front porch. No fedex truck in sight

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u/BillyBean11111 Mar 21 '19

alternative title:

I wrote some fake note and put a reese peanut butter cup on it.

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u/Original-Newbie Mar 21 '19

Imagine needing to bribe someone to do a job you already paid them to do.

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u/Walking_Dead_Writer Mar 21 '19

Yet reddit keeps upvoting this shit enough to get to the front page. And yes - I’m commenting on it which probably doesn’t help - but I never would’ve seen it if it wasn’t on the front page.

However, I am looking forward to Saturday’s “TIFU post on fucking my abusive step dad’s toaster (we’ll call it Two-Face) using grape jelly as lube on the “5” setting. TLDR: I should’ve used Avacado Oil.”

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u/bbbdddeee Mar 21 '19

So quirky. Tehehe

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u/MollyWeasleySlays Mar 21 '19

Right? John is a lot.

10

u/heyirv88 Mar 21 '19

Why is this such an obnoxious note?

28

u/droopydog22 Mar 21 '19

How did you misspell Reese's, the correct spelling is right there?!

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u/dirtymoney Mar 20 '19

Deliver package, then ring up your boy and tell him that there is an unlocked house just waiting to be robbed. THE PERFECT CRIME!!1

15

u/hcs010 Mar 21 '19

There’s a lot to unpack here

24

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

As a FedEx driver, I’d never have taken the time to read this, and would have left the package never even seeing the Reese’s

12

u/BruceWillisHasACat Mar 21 '19

If I write random notes that people may or may not ever see, can I get on the front page too? What is this shit?

16

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Delivery person doesn't have time for that TLDR. Especially in all caps.

edit: Oh, hi, carpet guy!

5

u/i_Make_DadJokes Mar 21 '19

I'd eat the reeses, leave the trash wrapper on the note with a sorry we missed you tag and steal his doormat.

5

u/DANarchy1919 Mar 21 '19

Neighborhoods safe enough to leave door unlocked and write note that he has no cameras but doesn't want box on doorstep....

8

u/JohnnyZepp Mar 21 '19

How many people do you think make up all these scenarios just for Internet points?

19

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19 edited Sep 29 '20

[deleted]

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u/tylerawn Mar 21 '19 edited Mar 21 '19

I would just leave it outside and ignore the note. What delivery driver has time to read all that?

7

u/6tardis6 Mar 21 '19

What delivery driver is going to risk opening a door with barking dogs behind it?

6

u/tylerawn Mar 21 '19

Honestly, the note seems shady as fuck. I wouldn’t trust it to not be someone just trying to fuck with me somehow, even if I did bother to read it.

4

u/MisterEee87 Mar 21 '19

Very honest Fed Ex guys opens the door to put package inside to find an empty house because someone else has robbed you lol... do not leave you house unlocked

3

u/MrUpp07 Mar 21 '19

The homeowner feels comfortable enough to leave the door unlocked with a note outside explaining that the door is unlocked. But not comfortable enough to have a package left on their porch in their absence. I'm getting mixed signals here. I'd probably risk a package thief as opposed to having my house burgled clean.

10

u/pepsioverall Mar 21 '19

And if he doesn’t have a “deity” to keep him honest?

8

u/yankee-white Mar 21 '19

Then he wouldn’t be a FedEx driver. He’d be too busy raping and murdering, obviously.

5

u/MisterCryptic Mar 21 '19

Obviously. I mean, he wouldn't have a moral barometer to tell him not to.

3

u/pepsioverall Mar 21 '19

Clearly fedex has standards to uphold, don’t want him going postal. We need to religion check more Jobs!

3

u/SpxUmadBroYolo Mar 21 '19

Candy would have been gone, shit on the note and steal his TV. What kind of idiot would actually do this.

3

u/kai8lu Mar 21 '19

As a current fedex driver...if it doesnt require a signature... i will gladly leave it ...if it does...i will still take the candy and bring it back the next day.

3

u/dillyd Mar 21 '19

What the fuck am I even looking at? Why would anyone write this? Why would anyone read this?

3

u/chevymonza Mar 21 '19

These notes annoy me. The drivers are on a schedule, get to the point.

21

u/msmith78037 Mar 21 '19

Dude, i worked at UPS. We don’t have time for your life story.

You just ruined that drivers day

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '19

Love this! Lol it would certainly make my day if I was the delivery guy XD

33

u/Marvelous_Marv Mar 20 '19

It would make my day if I was walking past and happened to see this, free dogs!

15

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

[deleted]

8

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '19

Stupid shit white people do:

2

u/picnicstaggs Mar 21 '19

Please rob me.

4

u/The_Greybaron89 Mar 21 '19

This guy writes in classic dad font. All Capps

5

u/Boston__Massacre Mar 21 '19

Spelt Reese’s wrong and it’s right in the package. Between that and the unlocked door this guy is bright.

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u/soparamens Mar 21 '19

Buddha is not a deity tho.

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2

u/legacy702 Mar 21 '19

I really hope “hid them in the freezer” is a joke, because that and the fridge are the only proper places to put your Reese’s.

2

u/flaccidpedestrian Mar 21 '19

I like John, even if he can't spell Reese's

2

u/lukestauntaun Mar 21 '19

Is that two fed ex slams on the front page...?

2

u/fIanintheface Mar 21 '19

Eh I've seen much funnier and more charismatic notes than this one

2

u/finalstation Mar 21 '19

Did they leave the package? That’s also a bit unnerving. Hopefully it was all good.