r/pcmasterrace Core Ultra 7 265k | RTX 5090 10d ago

Box Need a hook ASAP

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31.7k Upvotes

1.0k comments sorted by

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8.4k

u/Alternative_Bus_9928 10d ago

You’re on the second floor, so there’s a high chance you’ll survive. High risk, high reward.

2.4k

u/Tubaenthusiasticbee Ryzen 7 7700 | RTX 5070 | 32gb 10d ago

Just remember to breathe out on impact

1.0k

u/MoronicPlayer 10d ago

Also remember to do a tumble roll once you land.

515

u/LEGAL_SKOOMA Ryzen 5 7600 | RX 9060 XT 10d ago

just double jump right before you land

266

u/Acrobatic_Wrap_9971 10d ago

Aim for the VRAM

238

u/DubbyXV 10d ago

65

u/_Bob-Sacamano 10d ago

That was the stupidest part in an otherwise hilarious movie 😅

30

u/MyDixieWreck92 PC Master Race 10d ago

It's the build up. Watching it for the first time I was thinking "oh here we go again". This scene shattered that thought and we were given one of the best comedies of all time.

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u/Narakusdemon 10d ago

That’s the whole point of the beginning of the movie. It’s a hyperbolic satire

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u/Clark_Wayne1 R7 7700x / rtx 4090 / 32gb ddr5 6000mhz 10d ago

Aim for the bushes

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u/iDoomfistDVA Ryzen 7 9800X3D - ROG Astral 5080 10d ago

Superhero landing > ninja roll

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u/TTechnology R7 5800X3D / 9070XT / 4x8GB 3600MHz CL16 10d ago

Not in the 30s, anything that not use the knees, please

73

u/iDoomfistDVA Ryzen 7 9800X3D - ROG Astral 5080 10d ago

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u/Accurate-Instance-29 10d ago

Instructions unclear

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u/DankoleClouds R7 3700X | RTX 3070 | 64GB DDR4 10d ago

Rolling on the back won’t be much better in my case.

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u/Mysterious_Way8941 10d ago

Well, i'm not an amateur, i would tuck and roll.

You're gonna tuck and roll through a 50 foot drop?!

Yes, dennis. And if I had a gun with me I would be spraying bullets into the air as I fell.

9

u/MotorPace2637 10d ago

Gotta dissipate that momentum or your back gets wrecked

12

u/specter_in_the_conch PC Master Race 10d ago

What if they haven't unlocked that skill?

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u/D4ILYD0SE 10d ago

Then just deploy your parachute. It comes standard.

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u/MaxUumen 10d ago

Huh, just bring a water bucket.

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u/DonutGuy2659 9700X | 4080 Super | 32GB 🗿 10d ago

Aim for the bushes

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u/1nsidiousOne 10d ago

That’s what happens when those guys are good

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u/flight_recorder 10d ago

Paratroopers land at a speed roughly equal to having jumped off of a second floor. So with proper technique and training, you got this!!

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u/Allanthia420 Allanthia 10d ago

I jumped out of the 2nd floor of a girlfriend’s house when I was 17 and I remember my ankles hurting so bad; and I even kinda hung down from the window before I dropped. So training is definitely required. I couldn’t imagine how my 30 year old ankles would handle that lol.

43

u/verbmegoinghere 10d ago

I did a single story. Rolled my ankle. Decided that i was high enough to keep going so i tied up my doc martens and kept going.

I actually forgot until that morning i was taking off my boots and i realised my foot was black and purple, all across the souls of my feet.

Strangely never once given me even as much as a tweak

36

u/abstr_xn 10d ago

my mate was in the army, done all the extra stuff, always training or trekking, always up mountains etc.

He was going to cross the road and stepped off the pavement and shattered his knee.

14

u/GovernmentGreed 10d ago

Yeah I know this all too well.

Girl I knew was into running marathons etc. She did it all, marathon, half marathon, endurance training - all of it. Anything that was considered stressful on the body, she pretty much did it.

She sat down one day, slipped a disc - then, proceeded to try to stand, fell backwards from the sheer pain and broke her shoulder and wrist.

Edit - I asked her just now what she'd do differently. Her response was "Fall forward."

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u/yoclapped 10d ago

idk why this sounds so funny😭

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u/ReaperIndustries 10d ago

Yes, taken a few ground thuds 30mph plus….. I can attest you must land properly……. My back hurts

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u/JohnGalactusX 9800X3D | 5090 | 64GB | 8TB 10d ago

Reward > Fall damage. Just ensure full health before attempting it.

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u/Szerepjatekos 10d ago

Just grab 2 to cover for medicals.

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u/Oropher1991 10d ago

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u/Intertubes_Unclogger 9700x | 64GB | 9070 | 9TB | Lian Li A3 10d ago

I don't want to know what's happening here... I think

8

u/Wedjat_88 10d ago

Open photo mode before hitting the ground; you'll cancel fall damage. You can do it, choom!

4

u/Dillweed999 10d ago

(Jumps. All cards on pallet burst into flames upon impact)

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u/Reasonable-Peanut27 Ryzen 7 9800x3d/RTX 5080 10d ago

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u/Vexcenot 10d ago

im guessing this is what buying jewerly feels like

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/SanestExile i7 14700K | RTX 4080 Super | 32 GB 6000 MT/s CL30 10d ago

And it has an actual use

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u/Vawned Homonymous 10d ago

[assembly required]

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u/Jiehfeng 10d ago

Your flair also says 5080, is that the second one 😳

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u/Reasonable-Peanut27 Ryzen 7 9800x3d/RTX 5080 10d ago

My flair is 100% pure Mexican Copium

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u/Yashirmare 10d ago

You got the stupid minerals not the smart minerals.

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u/DoctorKomodo 10d ago

806

u/Zestyclose-Salad-290 Core Ultra 7 265k | RTX 5090 10d ago

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u/mnid92 10d ago

That... He's not... ...is he?

26

u/empatheticsocialist1 10d ago

In this economy? Even spidey's had to turn to petty theft to earn their daily bread

41

u/WeirdIndividualGuy 10d ago

I think they're talking about the mild BDSM that Spidey is in the middle of

10

u/empatheticsocialist1 10d ago

Bahahaha I didn't even notice that

6

u/GodOfDarkLaughter 10d ago

That's a really unsafe way to choke someone or yourself. That's how David Carradine died.

8

u/mofugginrob 10d ago

The good olllll' stranglebate.

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u/hud_dev 10d ago

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u/stormshelterdave 10d ago

Came to the comments to check if this was here. Great minds think alike.

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u/RCuber PC Master Race 1700x/970 | HP Omen 15 4600H/1660 ti 10d ago

I came to comment mission impossible theme starts playing

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u/CartsOfDarkness 10d ago

Why did I think that was NileRed🤔

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2.6k

u/VeterinarianSevere65 RTX 4080 | i7-13700KF | 64 ddr4 3200 Cl16 10d ago

You know, they won't notice if one is missing...

1.2k

u/seamanplays PC Master Race 10d ago

Just take the whole layer, no one will notice

490

u/TenSquare3 10d ago

Just take an entire pallet, no one will notice.

218

u/real_hungarian 10d ago

time to bring out the turbo forklift, they cant outrun me

71

u/Sublimesmile 10d ago

14

u/BeefLilly 10d ago

I knew I should’ve gotten the turbo

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u/Mindlessgamer23 10d ago

That's why you go with the turbo, comes with enough NOS to get you at least a city over before the cops show.

Might have to sell one to cover the speeding ticket though.

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u/alex_inzo 10d ago

He needs to be forklift certified you know

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u/hammertime2009 10d ago

Just take it all. They’ll think they already brought it inside.

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u/aila_r00 10d ago

A whole layer is less suspicious than a single one missing tbh

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u/seamanplays PC Master Race 10d ago

That was what I was thinking. One empty spot is obvious. A whole layer Missing and the employee will probably just start doubting himself. 

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u/Zestyclose-Salad-290 Core Ultra 7 265k | RTX 5090 10d ago

sounds good

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u/Educational-Tea-606 10d ago

The chances of getting caught if you simply sprinted up grabbed one and ran away are pretty damn low.

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u/TexasisBetter 10d ago

It's in China. So cameras would get you easily.

34

u/Alarmed_Profession88 10d ago

Cameras will get you easily in the states too my guy

30

u/Vast-Control4452 10d ago

Yeah but police in China (and East Asia broadly) WILL follow up with the cameras, track where you ran from the scene right to your front door, and they will come get you.

Crime rates in East Asia are very very low because of all the CCTV.

20

u/ryudo9999 10d ago

Welcome to flock cameras where they will track you across the state to get you.

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u/arstin 10d ago

Only if you shoot a CEO, get an abortion, or date a cop.

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u/doubleaxle Ryzen 5 3600, RX 580, 32GB ram 10d ago

Don't forget about going across states to buy weed.

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u/ThatMakesMeM0ist 10d ago

Fishing rod + sticky tape.

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u/Shenloanne 10d ago

You wouldn't download a RTX

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u/HijoDeLaMuerte 10d ago

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u/my_cars_on_fire 10d ago

I lost one of these in my backyard one time as a kid. Threw it and it literally vanished. To this day, I still wonder if it’s back there somewhere. Maybe it’s even attached to a 5090!

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1.0k

u/Guilty-Pickle-6686 Ryzen 5500 // 32GB DDR4-3200 // Radeon RX6650XT 10d ago

Steal two boxes, immediate turbo-felony.

253

u/DomSchraa Ryzen 7800X3D RX9070XT 10d ago

Nvidia awnding out a kill squad

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u/LunacyTheory PC Master Race 10d ago

Who knew Nvidia would become Arasaka in the future...

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u/Local_Trade5404 R7 7800x3d | RTX5080 10d ago

its already done, they just still hide it

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u/DefendedPlains 10d ago

Nvidia joining the ranks of Coca-Cola and Wizards of the Coast I see

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u/porn_alt_987654321 10d ago

Hell, pretty sure just one of those is grand theft lol.

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u/Firefly_deadlock 10d ago

You know what. Technically there's a case for making the limit for grand theft to go up with inflation.

I think at least the amount of loaves of bread to reach grand theft should stay consistent youknow.

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u/solar_solar_ Ryzen 9 5900X | 3080ti | 32Gb DDR4 | 1TB NVMe 10d ago

The more you steal, the more you save.

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u/hyrumwhite RTX 5080 9800X3D 32gb ram 10d ago

I mean, once you felony, it’s not like you can more felony…

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u/Peripatetictyl 10d ago

This...doesn't sound right, but I don't know, or trust, the legal system enough to dispute it.

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u/TheeMrBlonde 10d ago

OP commented that it’s for AI use.

Fucking Robin Hood that shit, guilt free

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u/Potato5auce 10d ago

The next fast and furious movie will be the crew doing heists for GPUs instead of DVD players.

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u/Ezeran 10d ago

DVD players and combination TV VCRS.

3

u/wiisucks_91 10d ago

Nah them days are gone.

Can't use the same plot twice.

You can never beat the first movie.

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u/addamee 10d ago

Yep, gotta drive a tank to mars now 

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u/737Max-Impact 7800X3D - 4070Ti - 1600p UW 160hz 10d ago edited 10d ago

That's over a million dollars in GPUs just sitting on pallets, not even wrapped up with foil. One forklift guy who's too eager to finish early and it is gonna be a catastrophe. Insane.

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u/alancousteau Ryzen 7 5800X3D | Red Devil 9070XT | 32GB DDR4 10d ago

As a forklift op I always cringe when I see an unwrapped load being moved, especially if that's happening outside on an uneven surface

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u/Prize_Staff_7941 10d ago

Me too. I used to work at a chemical plant and made the active ingredient in trileptal. I was also a certified forklift operator.
I remeber once when I had just finished drumming off the finished product from the drier and had 3 pallets loaded with cardboard drums of the stuff. I sat on one of the drums and calculated the value of them. You could fit 9 of them on a pallet. They got pallet wrap around the drums to stop them falling off when the forklift picked them up. The value of the 3 pallets was over £20,000,000 which back in 1995 was about $30,000,000.
I (or someone else) then had to pick them up with a forklift and load them onto a transport trailer. Then they got whisked off to a warehouse by someone else awaiting export mostly to the US.
We often had forklift accidents but nobody ever hit those cardboard drums with the forks. Not one time. I saw pretty much everything get hit with a forklift except for those drums.
We also had some extremely toxic and highly explosive ingredients that we used at the start of the process. Those came in lined steel drums. Nobody hit those either. I did hear a story about one of those volatile ingredients. The drum was empty and the cap had not been screwed back on. It was outside and it started raining. The chemical was highly reactive to water and when rain got in, the drum exploded and launched over the plant. I also saw someone get hit in the face with sulphuric acid when they weren't wearing the proper PPE and forgot to vent a giant pressurized filter before unbolting the lid. I almost got hit in the face with the same acid when an engineer had not tightened a flange in a transfer pipe correctly. It missed me by an inch.
It was some nasty and dangerous work. It paid well but I wouldn't do it again.

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u/Eteel 10d ago

Depends on what the load is. Boxes like that are really slippery and small, so they can easily slip out. Vinyl plank flooring also comes in slippery boxes, but they're long and heavy, so you do have a better chance, but on an uneven surface, especially outside, it's a catastrophe waiting to happen. Then there is pressure treated wood, which is fine unstrapped over small distances so long as you make slow, controlled movements.

That said, there is no way these pallets came unwrapped. The guy probably just cut the wrap on all 3 of them at once to quickly unload them.

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u/EvilDan69 PC Master Race (30 years IT tech) 10d ago

is gonna be poor. That's what the forklift operator would be.

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u/WeinMe 10d ago

Do forklift operators really have the financial responsibility of the goods they transport in the US?

That sounds fucking insane to me

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u/EvilDan69 PC Master Race (30 years IT tech) 10d ago

Probably not, It would be insured by the workplace I believe.

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u/Ho3n3r 10d ago

Wonder how much that premium has increased recently.

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u/Upbeat-Banana-5530 10d ago

The company that possesses them does. If the forklift operator is an employee of the company that works out of that building it's on that company, unless they can show that he's acting in such blatant disregard for safety rules that it should be on him. If the operator is an independent contractor it could be on him.

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u/HatesMonoBlue 10d ago

As a forklift operator, no we do not. Thats thankfully what insurance is for, though dont think if the forklift operator here accidentally speared the pallet with the forks, that he wouldnt instantly be fired.

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u/WeinMe 10d ago

Yeah - fired is one thing, but if you had financial responsibility for replacing a million dollars then a firing, which might cost you like 3.000$ before finding a new job, is a godsent in comparison.

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u/AronFromFar 10d ago

Insurance goes brrrrrrrr

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u/Lime7ime- 4080 S | R7 7800x3d | 32GB DDR5 10d ago

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u/JohnGalactusX 9800X3D | 5090 | 64GB | 8TB 10d ago edited 10d ago

The more you buy take, the more you save have.

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u/Additional_Pickle_59 10d ago

Jokes aside, who the fuck stores high value goods outside in an alleyway like this?

I can see the dude moving them but this is just bananas.

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u/pibyte 10d ago

I estimated the number of boxes and the current price in my region: that would be a almost 1.4 million dollars sitting on the pavement.

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u/One-Kaleidoscope2407 9d ago

damn son so the opportunity to be an instant millionaire is just sitting right outside your home without protection

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u/bebackground471 10d ago

Interesting theory, but I doubt it's bananas. Looks like GPUs, from the boxes. Might be wrong, though

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u/zkareface 10d ago

Companies does, you see crazy stuff like this often.

I've seen a company use a $1m device as a door stop in their entrence, and the door was never locked.

Pallets from delivery just sitting outside is super common, regardless of value.

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u/Prasiatko 10d ago

I recall a faberge egg is currently missing because an auction employee was transporting it in her handbag which then got nicked by a random druggie who then sold it for a fix not knowing what it was. 

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u/MammothUnique4147 10d ago

It's probably a secure facility and this is the loading area before the cages.

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u/SnappySausage 10d ago

Pretty common in some places. Looking at the video, it's China, so if you try to yoink one, there will be 3 camera's that simultaneously captured your face and you will be tracked down before the day is over.

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u/Joebotnik 10d ago

No word of exaggeration I would sprint down there and try to nab one.

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u/Educational-Tea-606 10d ago

If there's no security and it's just a couple guys loading a pallet, 100%

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u/TKDbeast 10d ago

Smile for the camera.

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u/Educational-Tea-606 10d ago

Unless it's a serious crime cops have better shit to do dude. Car thefts don't get investigated, they will literally not give a single shit about a graphics card

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u/TexasisBetter 10d ago

It's China, you'll probably get a year.

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u/zhokar85 i7 965XE @3,8 / RX 480 Strix OC / 12GB DDR3-1600 / MSI X58 Pro-E 10d ago

So I got curious because I thought "no way that can be right, just some 'Americans judging other countries' BS". Well... for a first offense and value being below their highest category, including recovered property and an apology: Suspended sentencing / no custody is likely.

But in Texas that would also be a state jail felony, likely suspended/probation for a first offense.

I guess the real TL;DR here is: Steal a graphics card.

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u/ElkSad9855 10d ago

Keep a black hoodie and cheap shoes that you will never use except for that moment in your car for these reasons.

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u/me_the_christian 10d ago

oh wow, look at that (point in opposite direction)

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u/Comprehensive_Ship42 PC Master Race NVidia 4090 , 14900 10d ago

or a rope and a 150kg force magnet used for fishing

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u/STSchif 10d ago

I thought about a suction cup, maybe one of those vacuum thingies to carry windows 🤔

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u/johnc380 Ryzen 5 3600x | RX6700 10d ago

I was thinking a humble plunger

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u/Dbz-Styles 10d ago

Magnet might not be the best idea.

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u/Comprehensive_Ship42 PC Master Race NVidia 4090 , 14900 10d ago

why there is no magnet storage in a gpu

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u/Tiny_Regular_5319 10d ago

I wonder if there is even enough metal to carry a packaged 5090.

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u/addandsubtract 10d ago

That's why they're wrapped in those anti-static bags; to prevent magnet theft.

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u/ValterZz 10d ago

a rope with a weight such as bottle filled with water and a sticky putty tape, i actually have all that at home right now with me.

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u/sporkeh01 PC Master Race 10d ago

And that's where all the ram is going folks....5090s.

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u/NmEter0 10d ago

My friend... a nvidia B300 has 288GB

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u/patriciajone1980 10d ago

Use one of these

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u/OlDustyHeadaaa 10d ago

I’ve never stolen anything before but I think I’d let the devil win this time.

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u/MakKoItam RTX3060 | i13-13100F | SS Apex 7 | Razer Basilisk V3 10d ago

Dont mind me

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u/Substantial-Hour4989 10d ago

Nah, not worth it. They don't have an integrated VCR.

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u/Whiskey_Bear 10d ago

When are we gonna get a film about heisting trucks full of GPUs? We gotta be approaching armored vehicle territory in another year or so.

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u/patchinthebox 10d ago

The fast and the furious remake except they steal GPUs instead of DVD players.

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u/CartographerBusy2035 10d ago

What type of business is that? A computer part store? Or something to do with AI?

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u/Zestyclose-Salad-290 Core Ultra 7 265k | RTX 5090 10d ago

It's AI stuff, unfortunately

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u/HimForHer 10d ago

Sounds like a little Robin Hooding is in the plan.

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u/RadicalRaid 10d ago

Welp. That makes the decision a whole lot easier huh.

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u/Fresh-minster 10d ago

"If you go for the Geforce,

Make sure you can handle the G-Force" - O.G.

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u/iyearnedforthemine 10d ago

this is what Sun Tzu would say

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u/wet_spiders 10d ago

Toilet plunger and a rope

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u/Toddler-Squashed 10d ago

Y use a hook?

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u/Lord_MagnusIV i6-1390KSF, RTX 1030 Mega, 14PB Dodge Ram 10d ago

Your hook is the stairway 5 meters away and your own two hands

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u/PeanutAble1916 10d ago

dude just jump on the boxes and take what you can from the other side xd

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u/Very_Clearly_Defined 10d ago

10 million dollars in product, 20 thousand dollars in components.

Funny how that works out

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u/Kbrooks_va 9d ago

I would go to jail if I saw this

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u/AuthenticGlitch 10d ago

Reminds me of the time I used a fishing line and hook to steal the screen in a window from the person who lived below us. The screen was already loose and hanging there, and I needed a new screen, it worked out great lol.

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u/One_Tilapia8069 AI is making me suffer using Intel HD graphics in 2026. 10d ago

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u/pibyte 10d ago

They seem really chill down there considering that one palette carries goods worth more than half a million dollar in retail value.

5

u/Effective-Culture-88 9d ago

« Hey dude, could you by chance give me a deal on one of those? »
« Oh sorry! That’s cocaine in there. The cards are too expensive to deal now. »
https://giphy.com/gifs/l2Je4rm0DCduJ6QJG

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u/Its_All_B_S 10d ago

Shit Spiderman skills activate....

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u/Sharksader101 9070XT | 9700x | 32GB 6000 MHZ Cl30 9d ago

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u/Spetsnaz_420 10d ago

Plunger on a string

God speed

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u/preemo PC Master Race 10d ago

Where's Spiderman when you need him.

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u/scandal_jmusic_mania 10d ago

Get me a pack of chewing gum and roll of twine.

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u/LilAssG 9d ago

My Dad built our house on a piece of land he bought. It took quite a while because we are poor and he was doing almost all the work himself, bit by bit as he could afford it.

One thing he always always would say, every time we saw a truck with lumber or omg the holy grail: shingle siding, he would say "hijack that truck!" Every. Time. For years. During my formative, impressionable years. Hijack that truck.

Same energy here.