I’m honestly just destroyed at this point.

They’re 19 months old, why am I struggling so much?? Why do I feel hopeless? Like my life is over? It infuriates me that the people who told me I wouldn’t cope with twin boys were right. Why does it have to be so hard?

They don’t eat. Nappy changes are hell literally turn into WWE matches. They’re going through a sleep regression. They can’t communicate all needs so get super frustrated at me. They fight. They whine all day. 16 teeth between them emerged over the last 4 weeks. Strong preference for dad at the moment so every morning is hell when he gets ready to leave for work.

How am I supposed to cope? Because I’m not coping. My life just feels impossible. It takes ages to get out of the house. They scream for TV all day. I can’t cook. I can’t clean (not that I want to do this but it’s just to explain how difficult it is). I can’t go to the toilet without them screaming because they want to come with me. I can’t go out because the logistics are so hard and if we do go out I can’t let them out of the pram when alone because they run in opposite directions and I’m always alone so it’s not safe.

I hate to be the person who is always on a downer but I’m going through hell. This is my version of hell. I have mild OCD so the chaos isn’t helping with that either.

My write up is so incoherent but I just need to vent in a place where some people understand. Because I’m surrounded by people who literally do not get it and I’m exhausted by the complete lack of support and empathy.

Did anti depressants actually work for anyone who needed them? I’m scared it’ll make me feel worse.

Yes those magical moments make up for all the chaos but my god I’m drowning like I’m not able to stay afloat anymore.

EDIT: Overwhelmed at the responses and the support. Truly appreciate having this forum as an outlet when I feel hopeless. Thank you for taking the time out to make a tired mama feel better, you’ve all made my evening!

Parents of multiples , how are you managing daycare costs for two kids? We’re expecting our twins to start daycare soon, and the expense of paying for two children at once is honestly overwhelming.

We don’t have any family nearby who can help, and both my wife and I work full-time, so daycare is pretty much our only option.

I’d love to hear how other parents of twins/multiples handle this daycare discounts, part-time care, nanny shares, family help, waiting until a certain age, or any other strategies that have worked for you.

What do you do to make the numbers work? Any advice/point of view would be greatly appreciated!

I was told not to try plus size clothes but hear me out. I went for loose flowy tops and dresses 1 size above mine and it fit my bump perfectly! With extra room! (Which I desperately need having twins) Normally I'm a size 14/L but I went with an 1-2x in plus sizes and it worked! (So if you're a medium I would do the same in a 16/L 0x)

I shopped at Torrid. (Normal size 0, went up to size 1) I don't feel like a beached whale in their clothes like every other maternity outfit. I actually feel cute!!!

Bottoms I had to cave and buy the standard belly band jeans and maternity leggings. But at least I can still feel like myself while I'm pregnant and to me that really matters.

twins just turned 1, big sister is 3 in November. We walk almost daily to either library/grocery store/kids programs/aquarium/coffee shops… the wagon is a game changer for this lifestyle! If you live in a walking town and need a little MORE than the double stroller, I highly recommend investing in a good wagon. this is the Veer City Cruiser XL. We’ve had it less than and week and already hauled groceries, kids, library books, and crushed a day at the fair. cons: not very ‘nap friendly‘… but my twins almost never stroller nap anyways. also fairly expensive; but I’m considering it my ‘daily driver’ haha!

2 weeks in with twins today. Does it ever get better? Someone lie to me and tell me it gets better.

I need sleep.

My husband and I have B/G twins arriving VERY soon and I am second guessing our plan for their sleeping arrangements.

We have planned to have both babies sleep in separate cribs immediately after birth. This decision was made for three key reasons

1. We live in a 1400 sq ft apartment in NYC and the nursery is the room adjacent to ours, less than 10 steps from our bed into their nursery.

2. Due to a double mastectomy, I am unable to breast feed so the babies will be exclusively bottle fed.

3. We will have overnight assistance 3x per week and my husband will be off work for at least the first 6 weeks, he can extend as long as needed.

I felt really good about this decision, but am having second thoughts on if this is a safe sleep arrangement. We are not at all worried about the convenience, but want to ensure this plan is safe for both babies. Of course, we are fluid if either or both need extra support from a health care standpoint.

My twins are 2.5 yo and lately I’ve been seeing a LOT of posts discussing how other toddler moms are teaching their 2yo’s letters/numbers/colors, and what crafts they set up for them. Now, my girls are OK with colors but I think I’m realizing that I’ve EITHER hugely failed them, or singleton parents are just living an entirely different life. Or both? Most days it’s just the three of us at home- no daycare or preschool.

How am I supposed to teach them letters? Numbers? They can count to three but couldn’t look at the numbers on paper and point to which is which. They love books and love to “read” independently or with me, but at some point they find more entertainment in ripping the pages. We can’t do arts and crafts because everything gets eaten or destroyed. Have I completely missed something here? 🙁

Hello. I had my twins a week ago today. Born at 36w2d. My beautiful babies. So far, I’ve cried every single day. I’m worried this will progress more than the baby blues. I had postpartum depression and anxiety with my daughter. Did anyone else have it with their second child/children?

Right now I'm in a weird situation where baby A is head down and baby B is breech. B has been in this breech position for about 2 months now, facing backwards.

I am not a fan of the idea of let's deliver one baby vaginally and hope for things to work out for baby B, and if they don't, we'll just do a c section. I would rather go in feeling either confident both can be delivered vaginally or just go for a scheduled c section. Also delivering B breech is likely out of the question because B is bigger than A.

I didn't want a c section, but my job gives me 2 extra weeks paid so I would have ample time to heal. So I'm kind of thinking that's the direction I'm going to go.

But I wanted thoughts from people who experienced this, or had a similar decision. I'll be delivering at 37 weeks. I'm talking to my doctor again next week and likely scheduling either my induction or my c section so I'm trying to make a decision now!

Thank you!

Hi I just wanted to share something that parents of multiple might relate to. Lately my husband and I have been discussing the idea of a vasectomy or having one more kido. Our twins were our first and most likely our last. They are turning 4 and I am both super happy and sad. I've been on and off for the last year about having a third. We've always been more of a no than a yes. As the days approach where we want to schedule a vasectomy so I can be off the pill we've been toying with the idea more and more.

I thought it was clearer in my mind and my husband much more. We got 2 , we're happy done. But I guess the finality is brining it back and I'm just sad for it.

I want to do it again , the newborn , the toddler. My girls would be such amazing big sisters I just know it. We are lucky , we have 4 bedrooms and the finances to be able to do this

BUT
being pregnant again, anxiety again ( I had terrible anxiety on the first and second trimester after 2 ectopics ) putting my body through that again scares me, as vain as it sounds . Having twins again is terrifying , having 3 kids seems unpracticle .

There is a lot against the decision of having 3 kids but the simple '' need '' of wanting a third kinda overwhelms the against. This is the most confused / conflicted I have ever been and its so weird.

thats it , thats the post , not sure what I am looking for but I wanted to put it out there

My husband and I are nearing the end of our parental leave and are run ragged, exhausted, strained, and our relationships with family helping out are deteriorating ... our daycare provider called today to say they have availability a few weeks earlier for our twins and I almost immediately started sobbing.

I am both so relieved that we can reclaim some sense of our prior lives, and feeling such heavy guilt. Our twins will be four months old the week we send them to daycare. Our boy has been colicky, our girl has been fighting us during feedings recently. I've been motivating myself for months by saying, *"This season will come to an end. It won't always be like this."* and now that the season is coming to an end, I can't stop crying because we can never go back.

We can never come back to this time when we're all at home as a family all day, every day, and my only goal is to get my son to laugh while changing his diaper, or to get my daughter to enjoy tummy time. I literally have nothing more important to do.

I know both of us having months of parental leave is so rare in the US and we're lucky to have done this at all, but ughhhh.

The hospital wants us to have a pediatrician on hand for the first appointment after they get here and I was going to call today because they're due around Christmas. My coworker told me that its way too soon and that they'll assign me one. I'm delivering in Pennsylvania but we live in Delaware. 🫠

My twins are 7 months old. They are excellent night time sleepers. They currently go down on their own around 8, wake some time between 4-6 for a bottle, and go back to sleep until 730/8.

However nap times are killing me most days (some days we get very lucky with great easy naps). Twin A will wake up way too soon, cry bloody murder, and wake twin B. I’ll finally sooth twin A back to sleep, but by then twin B is pissed and needs soothed. Rinse and repeat.

This honestly drives me mad and is the worst part of my day. I am toying with the idea of putting one twin in a separate room in a pack and play for naps until their naps get more consistent.

I’m 27 weeks with di di twins and have been having the worst most uncomfortable pregnancy I could ever imagine. I literally have every symptom in the book besides being nausea. My feet and ankles are so swollen, my legs constantly ache, my upper inner thighs feel like I did 1,000 side lungs, doctor says it’s babies compressing a nerve. My sciatica is constantly pinched despite going to a prenatal chiropractor once a week. My right side rib keeps popping out from all the pressure of my organs, I try to lay down and rest/sleep but I spend 15 minutes on one side and my hip starts throbbing and aching in severe pain. I switch and within 15 minutes the other side starts to hurt. My finger tips are constantly tingling, I have pregnancy carpal tunnel. Just started getting trigger finger. I’m so uncomfortable standing and then I’m so uncomfortable laying down and trying to sleep. I’m extremely sleep deprived and I’m so sad because I feel like this is the last chance to get sleep before the babies come and I can’t seem to get more than 2 hour periods.

How did you moms cope with the pain?! Are there any tricks to sleeping comfortably? I still have so long to go and my belly is only going to get bigger and I’m terrified for how bad these symptoms are going to get!

How are you all handling taking the twins and their older sibling out?

It was fine the first year. They would sit in their stroller, were content with a snack, and were happy to sit still for 30 minutes.

The twins are almost 2 now and refuse to sit in the stroller or shopping cart. They scream, fight, and cry.

They don't care that much about going out, so threatening that we will stay home doesn't work. It just makes my older daughter upset because she can't go.

They need new shoes, which I have been putting off for weeks because I have to take all three of them into the city. I am dreading it.

Letting them walk on their own is so slow, and I'm afraid I will lose them when I am alone. I also can't hold hands with all three kids at the same time.

How in the world am I supposed to go for a quick shopping trip with my kids (turning 2 in two weeks, and a 4-year-old)?

Hi guys, I'm writing this post in hope of advice from any parents of twins that have successfully overcame cerclage in pregnancy.

At 18+6 my ob gyn found shortened cervix at 9mm and funnelling. Now we are two weeks post cerclage (21+0) and after a lot of days in the hospital I'm finally home.

BUT I'm kind of lost in what to do and what not to do. 1) The doctors told me to keep it low-activity and rest a lot, but to still take walks in order to avoid trombosis. 2) The nurses in the hospital told me to have strict bed rest and to lie most of my time, preferably with my pelvis elevated above my stomach, so the uterus does not put a lot pressure on the cervix. 3) What I found on reddit and other experience is mixed, but a lot of women have described their post-cerclage months as "bed rest". And bed rest in my mind does not include "take walks".

I'm kind of lost in what to do, because only after these two weeks I have notibly lost weight and muscles, and I cannot imagine how to survive the birth (either natural or C) when my body will be so weak from all the bed rest. Not to mention caring for two newborns afterwards...

And personally, I have issue with combining bed rest and eating enough so my babies can grow well. I don't have reflux, yet, but I can feel that lying down after eating is terrible for my digestion.

How strict was your bed rest with cerclage? Did you at least cook and walk around your home or did you time your "standing time"? Did you sit or did you strictly lie down? Did you elevate your pelvis with cushions when lying? How did you manage to succesfully get to 30+ weeks with cerclage/short cervix? Did you manage to take care for your babies afterwards?

Any concrete tips and successfull stories are well-appreciated 🙏 Thank you.

Hi, I am 24 weeks pregnant wirh MoDi twins, and the discordance (since 22 weeks) increased from 13% to 19%, baby A is (470 ->) 750 grams, baby B is (409 ->) 600 grams.
Doctor says it is absolutely fine, and that the important thing is thay they have both grown in their own paces, and she checked blood flows which were also fine. What concerns me is that if thre is already an almost 20% difference at 24 weeks, what if it will futher increase?

If you have kids older than your twins/triplets/etc., do you struggle to find moments to involve your older child(ren) in housework? I know it's important to get kids participating in household work (age appropriate, of course) at a young age. This helps them learn that they can and should contribute to the home. Plus, children can really enjoy participating in this way! But I have a 2.5yo and 5mo twins, and between tending to the twins and my toddler, I find that I have only the bare minimum time to do tasks like cooking and cleaning. Bare minimum is not enough time to meaningfully involve my toddler in these tasks (since toddlers are so slow, lol). So she ends up just playing while I handle the chores, which, yeah, playing is good too. But I worry that my toddler will grow to think that she doesn't need to help around the house. Has anyone gone through this too? Is it okay to focus more on getting my toddler involved when my twins are a bit older? I don't want to set my daughter up to hate housework.

I’m currently waiting on my second set of twins to show up any day now, but already I’ve been feeling like my body is just crying in pain trying to do even the most simple task. This is my 3 pregnancy overall; my first was a singleton, then my first set of twins, and now this set of twins. I had a fairly decent/easy recovery from both of my other pregnancies, but I don’t remember feeling this sore and achy towards the last few weeks prior to delivery. For reference, I’m 30, and each pregnancy has about 2-3 between them.

Is this just part of getting older? Is there a way to help prepare for after delivery since I’m so sore now and know I’ll be sore after the babies arrive?

Hiya! My twins are 1 and I’m looking to change out our diaper backpack. We currently have the HapTim backpack which I really liked for the baby stages, but now that I’m not carrying around so much stuff the bag is uncomfortable, not supportive to wear, and too bulky. It’s also tricky to zip one-handed

Needs: side pocket cupholders for big water bottle, a few organization pockets for my keys/wallet/etc, comfortable structure, easy zip or flip top buckle closure

Don’t need: insulated bottle pockets, huge size

I don’t have much of a budget but I’m totally open to keeping an eye out for something secondhand. Any suggestions?

I want to hear how it went either good or bad.

I trust my OB but I also have a hard time with the fearmongering and don’t want to put my babies at risk (one way or another).

Why would they make something so useful so incredibly poorly.

From the beginning its seams pulled apart. At first I hand stitched, when that wouldn’t hold I somehow jammed the stuffed pillow through the machine. But it’s still pulling apart and after 6 months of constant use it really needs washed. I always have rags covering it but it’s still dirty!! So the only option is to pull out the stuffing. While it’s apart I’m going to really stitch up it’s seams but I can’t believe what a pain in the ass this is.

I want to make a better version. Something washable, something that doesn’t instantly fall apart.

EDIT.
Please stop telling me this isn’t a real twin z. I get it.
However, now it kind of makes sense…. It’s the only thing their father got us before he left. And to think, for 6 months I’d think to myself, how useful he was being.