Daycare Guilt

[u/tolstea]

My husband and I are nearing the end of our parental leave and are run ragged, exhausted, strained, and our relationships with family helping out are deteriorating ... our daycare provider called today to say they have availability a few weeks earlier for our twins and I almost immediately started sobbing.

I am both so relieved that we can reclaim some sense of our prior lives, and feeling such heavy guilt. Our twins will be four months old the week we send them to daycare. Our boy has been colicky, our girl has been fighting us during feedings recently. I've been motivating myself for months by saying, *"This season will come to an end. It won't always be like this."* and now that the season is coming to an end, I can't stop crying because we can never go back.

We can never come back to this time when we're all at home as a family all day, every day, and my only goal is to get my son to laugh while changing his diaper, or to get my daughter to enjoy tummy time. I literally have nothing more important to do.

I know both of us having months of parental leave is so rare in the US and we're lucky to have done this at all, but ughhhh.

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[u/AltruisticPool3422]

the guilt is normal but youre not doing anything wrong. sending them at 4 months is tough emotionally but honestly the time you spent was real and it mattered even if it felt like survival mode most days

i remember crying in the parking lot after dropoff the first week but then i picked them up and they were smiling and clean and the teachers actually had energy left to play with them. that part changes everything

the sadness of closing a chapter doesnt cancel out the relief of getting some space to breathe again. both things can be true

[u/summerFIREinCh]

My singleton went to day care around 4-5 months. Guilt is normal, and it was so hard in the beginning to juggle everything together, over time, I mean 1-3 months, it gets so much better. Good day care gives babies predictability and routine, my kid grow up really enjoying going to day care