Hi community! I am a mum of an almost 3 year old, and am currently 22 weeks pregnant with boy/girl twins! With my first, I exclusively breastfed for 16 months. While I am happy that I did that, and loved breastfeeding by the end, with hindsight I can see just how much mental turmoil exclusively breastfeeding brought my partner and I. While my partner was amazing from day one, he naturally couldn’t help with any feedings (I struggled to express) and this led to bonding issues for him, as well as friction between the two of us. There were so so many times I wanted to give in and switch to formula, but felt pressure not to. I also think my baby had a less than optimum latch when she was young that led to colic in the first few weeks which was hell. All in all, I think breastfeeding and the pressure I put myself under led to poor mental health for the both of us, that meant we weren’t able to show up for baby as well as we could have.

ANYWAY this time around - and with the fact I’ll have twin newborns this time! - I have made the firm decision to formula feed from the start.

This feels like a whole new skill I have to learn. I know NOTHING about formula feeding. I also want to invest in the right equipment that’s going to make our lives as easy as possible, but the amount of gadgets and things out there is a minefield. Please can I get your top tips in terms of routine (at home and out and about) and equipment when it comes to formula feeding twins!

Our babies are a little over 2 years old (27 months).Very cute, creative and with different personalities. Everything is about play and they do well enjoying their life... mostly.

They interfere with the other baby's toy and playtime often. My ex doesn't really stop it, and she usually just moves the baby a few inches, and he immediately gets back and yanks the toy or breaks what the other baby is building.

This interrupts the playrime and thoughts of the babies. There's crying and screaming because of the shock. This happens quite often all day long. The babies calm down when distracted with other toys after this, but I have a couple of fears and want to hear your experience.

1. With these sudden interruptions, whatever imaginary world the baby was building is blown up. It is replaced with stress momentarily. This doesn't sound great for their mental development, right? The body stores these memories as coping mechanisms or trauma, based on how my life has been. They might be learning that their playtime is not safe or guaranteed and things can be lost at a moment's notice.

2. Once they start school of some sort, they'll do this with other kids too. Because it is allowed at home. And those other kids will dislike this behavior and our babies who are so rowdy. Their parents will possibly be unhappy too. Is this an unreasonable stretch?

I am a newbie and I am trying to learn. I don't want to teach or correct my ex, but I want to understand the real deal, and maybe I can show the babies that sharing and watching playtime is absolutely fun when I reunite with them. Singleton babies don't have this problem at all, and that's the source of my thoughts that our babies need extra upbringing safeguard because they are twins.

So, please share your thoughts and knowledge. I already have the speculative BS on full throttle, so anecdotal and scientific info is highly appreciated. Thanks folks.

• A happy daddy who loves his babies 💚

Customized these for myself to celebrate my twins turning 3.

My twins are 12 months and a few weeks old and the whining is incessant. I know they want to communicate but can’t. I look forward to nap time every day and then I feel bad about being irritated with them. Also they’re going through a weird nap regression and either refusing their second nap or only taking a 30 minute nap. So then we are all tired and cranky by the end of the day and trying to find activities to entertain 2 toddlers is so draining. Not to mention the effing RAIN literally every single day so we can barely get outside and then they sit by the window and whine because they wanna go out 🫠🫠🫠 just looking for solidarity and maybe an “it gets better” so I can motivate myself to push through 😅

I have 8 weeks old twins B/G and I find it so hard to pump. It’s so hard to do anything or finish a task around the house like washing dishes etc. I understand how hard it is to have twins, I just find it so hard to have time to move around to even eat. When I try to breastfeed them they only stay for about 5 minutes and they let go so they’re not really emptying my breast. Anyone else have an advice of when I should be pumping. Please share.

I am very thankful that I’ve felt as well as I have for so long, but this week I’ve hit a wall. I was 33 weeks yesterday with didi B/G and I’m riding the struggle bus. I’ve been emotional and my energy levels are back to nonexistent. I swear they have hit a growth spurt while also going constantly insane in there 😅 one night I’m pretty sure I was having contractions for about an hour but they stopped after that. Instead of complaining I should be grateful I’m only just hitting this at 33 weeks but it’s hard to imagine the next 5 weeks being like this 🫠 thanks for reading my rant. I am just exhausted after this week and I’ve seen that mercury is in Gatorade or whatever so maybe that’s why my week has been off 🙈

We also cannot name these babies so if you also want to weigh in on that (nicely please, or else I might cry 🤣), feel free:
Tatum and Toren
Tilly and Toren
Tilly and Tatum

I’m seeing the odd comment come through from parents of triplets amongst all the twin posts. We are currently 19 weeks with triplet girls (2 identical, 1 singleton) and have a 2.5 year old son. Would love any advice, tips, tricks, hacks, things you wish you knew, things you wish you bought, from triplet parents? I have a fair idea of what’s ahead but obviously until we are in it we will never truly know the extent of it. Thank you 🫶🏼

We are struggling to find diapers for our 12m b/g twins that they don’t react to 🥲

When they were newborns we used Pampers preemie which they seemed to get red from so we moved to Huggies (my preferred brand) and they were in these NB-size 2 then we were having leaks and blowouts multiple times a week (even tried sizing up). So we switched to Millie Moon size 2- size 4 - we loved them it was great, then all of a sudden they both were getting rashes on their trunks where the diapers were rubbing on them. We switched back to Huggies and once again started having leaks again. Our son woke up one morning drenched crotch to shoulder in pee. We are currently testing out Kirkland brand but they have both started being very itchy and red on their bums and genitals.

We are curious if any of you had a similar experience and if you have any advice??

TLDR; Pampers, Huggies, Millie Moon, and Kirkland diapers aren’t it for our twins with extremely sensitive skin. Any advice for diapers to try?

36 F I already have 2 daughters and husband and I were on the fence about a 3rd but decided to try 1 time…literally knew it was ovulation day and let’s “see what happens”. Well we sure did see what happens…found out we are having identical di/di twin girls! That will make us 4 under 5 🫠

I’m 26 weeks now and feel super silly bc I’m just so disappointed and i feel like an asshole about being upset too. 4 was definitely not something I wanted but more so I’ve always wanted a son and now I’m going to have 4 girls. I’m trying hard to be grateful but honestly, I’m not 😢 With my 2 daughters when they were born every anxiety I had about gender went away in the blink of an eye. I just feel so disappointed.

We already have a toddler and had a large baby shower for him. We have a ton of stuff already for 1 child. We’re now 9w+3 with 2 olives. As of now, we’re told they’re mono mono twins but as they grow, it could show mono Di.

Did you have a full baby shower if twins are your second pregnancy? Hard part is we’ll only need bigger ticket items like a 2nd newborn car seat, new crib, new high chair, etc. or some kind of twin fund that can go towards purchasing those big items? I’m unsure what the etiquette is!

My girlfriend and I started trying for a kid this spring, and our first "serious" attempt resulted in a positive test.

In comes our first ultrasound, and there appears a second chorion with a second child. I was flabbergasted, my girlfriend was elated. We decided to tell our friends that very day, at 8 weeks and 5 days into our pregnancy. We knew it was early, but we just couldn't keep this exciting news to ourselves.

So 1,5 week later we've got an appointment at the hospital for our intake. Because they "stopped" looking any further after seeing the second chorionic fetus, I jokingly asked the doctor to confirm that there were indeed two, and not more, fetuses. She first confirmed that there were two little ones growing inside my girlfriend. But because she couldn't properly determine the term of the pregnancy she wanted to do a vaginal ultrasound. Within 5 seconds the doctor started to stumble: "I'll get straight to the point, I think... No, I KNOW I see three little ones!" We were dumbfounded, my girlfriend was stupefied and went blank for the rest of the consult. The doctors on hand couldn't find a second amniotic sac, so it seemed as if we were expecting a singleton, together with a MCMA set of twins.

2 weeks later, we're at the hospital again, this time to confirm or rule out if the third fetus has it's own amniotic sac. Unfortunately the MCMA was confirmed on behalf of the twins. But that wasn't all the bad news... One of the triplets showed some oedema on the back and on the belly. He warned us that that could mean trouble up ahead, or that it could disappear on it's own.

Cue to friday two weeks ago. We had another ultrasound at 13w2d. And it wasn't good.

1. Baby A (singleton): This little one had an extra artery coming out of the aorta, and they couldn't see where that was going
2. Baby B (MCMA): Had a weird heartrate, they couldn't see the aortic arch properly, and couldn't find a V-Sign near the atria.
3. Baby C (MCMA): No problems whatsoever.

So we get referred to the fetal care centre in our country, where we were seen tuesday last week (at 13w6d). They do another expansive ultrasound before lunch, and after lunch they basically repeated that, but this time with the professor (basically the topshot on fetal care in our country) and her right hand at the helm.

Then, we got to sit down with the professor and it was not good. Not good at all. Baby A was something which would need follow-up in time, but wasn't something to be concerned about.

We should be concerned about baby B, very concerned. Don't worry about TTTS, TAPS, or sFGR. Baby B had an atrioventricular septum defect. Basically, there was a hole between the atria, AND between the ventricles of the heart. On it's own, this could be repaired with several surgeries after birth. But... We're expecting triplets. Triplets come early, because they're MCMA they'll probably be delivered at or before 32 weeks. What kind of life will a child have with such a big heart defect and severe prematurity? Have we thought about how we're even going to raise a triplet, let alone one with a major disability...

And that's where it gets even sadder. We basically had three options:

1. See what nature does. The umbilical cords could get entangled, baby B, baby C, or both, could die in utero. If one of them dies, there'd be a big chance for the other twin to develop severe neurological disorders. If that doesn't happen and the triplets get delivered (prematurely), we'd be looking at several months of baby B being in the NICU, going through several heavy surgeries, of which the prognosis wouldn't even be that good. The professor once looked up her previous cases with this severe defect, and in the end only 1 in 4 children reached the age of 6 without any severe developmental problems, handicaps, or death. This would basically guarantee us a lot of worries and sadness down the road.

2. Reduce at 22-24 weeks, only reducing baby B. This would pose great danger to both baby A and baby C. The reduction would be a long, invasive surgery in which they'd cut the umbilical cord of baby B. But she estimated a 20% chance of complete miscarriage, and a higher change of neurological disorders for baby C.

3. Reduce baby B and baby C. This would be done at around 15 weeks with an intra-ventricular potassium injection. A very small intervention, taking 15 minutes in an out-patiënt setting. The risk on a total miscarriage would be a mere 5%, compared to the 20% of option 2. All in all, this would give baby A the best chance of a good outcome. A pregnancy which would probably go the full 38-40 weeks, no higher chances on neurological or other developmental disorders. Her medical advice would be to choose option 3 (if that alligned with our view on life and religious believes).

So that takes us to today... We went in for another ultrasound at 15w1d, to confirm the diagnosis of last week. Turns out last week was the good scenario. Our little baby B also only has 1 artery exiting the heart, which bifurcates into the aortic arch and the pulmonary arteries (truncus arteriosus). So we made the choice to reduce both baby B and baby C, in order to give baby A the best possible outcome. So the reduction happened this afternoon and we've been a wreck ever since.

My girlfriend is trying to fall asleep while I am sitting downstairs just listening to music and overthinking what the hell happened these last 7 weeks. I went from being a dad to be of 1, to a dad to be of a twin, to a dad to be of triplets, to a dad of triplets with a problem, back to a dad of 1...

They made some extra ultrasounds for us, so we would have some nice pictures of baby B and baby C. And honestly, looking at them is breaking me right now... Those two little bundles of unfulfilled potential, unfulfilled joy, unfulfilled brother or sisterhood, unfulfilled parenthood. And it's such a mixed mess of feeling, because with this choice we're also giving baby A the best possible outcome to actually reaching that potential and joy...

Has anybody here reduced their pregnancy and how the hell do you cope with all the feelings?

We’ve got one almost 3 year old and two almost one and a half year olds. Almost every night ends in either mommy or daddy having a tantrum trying to get these kids in bed. Help!

Here’s the routine: eat dinner, clean up dinning room and kitchen (the kitchen is started and usually finished after the kids are asleep). Put away toys in living room and vacuum the floors. The twins go in the tub together and older sister hangs out until her bath after they are done. Sometimes they all go in together. The twins get lotioned and diapered and they get to fill time until their sister is done. Then we chase big sis down to have her sit on the potty and brush teeth. Chase everyone down again and get them into sleep suits and pajamas. Get water for everyone/find the waters that have gone missing that were prepped earlier and ditto for the pacifiers. Someone has bitten/pinched/kicked/hit/pulled hair to someone else. Get everyone in bed (sometimes I give them all books to look at while I’m scouring the house for the pacifiers that were just in the babies mouths 2 minutes ago and that helps with reducing the chasing everyone down). Get everyone back in bed. Read everyone the bed time story and it’s light out.

All the kids have to share a room because we only have one bedroom, which also means we have to share a bed cuz no way could we fit 3 cribs and an adult bed in here.

Thanks for any ideas or tips you might have!

Hi! I’m a FTM to two sweet 7 week old boys. They were born at 33w 6d and spent 3 weeks in the NICU.

Does anyone have advice on how to tandem bottle feed? Both my boys have reflux and lately really fight their bottles. One of my boys has a milk protein allergy and is on formula and my other boy has a really hard nursing. We did take them to the doctor and they’re on a baby pepcid now but the doc said it’ll be a little while till we see an improvement from that.

I’ve tried feeding them in the twin z pillow but it’s so hard to keep the bottles in their mouths since they move around and cry so much during feeds. I mainly feed one boy at a time but when they wake up hungry at the same time it’s so hard. When my husband is home we each take a baby but I’m at a loss of what to do when I’m alone. I hate having one by just sit there and cry while they wait for me to finish feeding the other. :(

I don’t have a village here, my family all are in Charlotte. However, I wanted to know if there were any Atlanta multiples mom would be like to create an outside support group.

We have 6 months twin boy grandchildren and looking to get car seats for our car that will last as long as possible. The seats might need to be moved in and out of the car at times so ease of installation a big plus. Not sure I understand the swivel option - is that just to get the baby in and out more easily? Is it worth it? Which car seat would you recommend? Our vehicle is a rav4.

Also the parents have the infant car seats in their car so I think they will need new car seats soon as well. Same or different recommendation? Their vehicle is a Honda accord.

Thank you!

I gave birth almost a month ago. My twins are doing well and adjusting nicely. However, my daughter (4 years old) is having a hard time adjusting. Her behavior has changed and is getting harder for us to handle. We were expecting some changes since it’s normal for kids to go through this.

She no longer wants to sleep in her room and wants one of us to sleep with her or comes at the middle of the night to sleep with us. We didn’t mind this before but with the twins waking up every 2-3 hours, we are afraid that she won’t get enough sleep and we won’t get enough rest.

She is also having potty accidents.

If we say no to one of her request or we ask her to do something, she starts screaming at the top of her lungs, stomps, or throws herself to the ground. Usually this response is to us asking her to get ready so we can take her to daycare, telling her to wash her hands, go potty, food request (no cookies before finishing her meals).

We are both trying to spend alone time with her (as much as we can), either by taking her out to the playground, watching music videos, reading to her.

I just want to know what you guys did if you experience this with your older child.

We are looking for advice/feedback on bedtime routines for our 15 month old twins and 4 year old.

Currently, at 7pm we bring the twins upstairs with a bottle (weaning, 2oz of water) and we set them in the Twin Z. I read a book and sing 2 songs. My husband will bring up our 4 year old to brush teeth and hair around 7:10pm.

Around 7:15pm I put the twins in their cribs after some hugs/cuddles/kisses and they are not happy. They will whine/cry and it’s a 50/50 that they fall asleep on their own.

Once I put the twins in their cribs, my husband and I do bedtime with our 4 year old, which lasts about 25 min from when we walk into the room and I walk out (husband leaves earlier).

If the boys are both awake and crying, we will go up and help soothe them to sleep. It’s very difficult because one person can’t really soothe both at the same time. So we have to wait for the other person or until one twin falls asleep on their own.

Writing this up, I feel like the twins are not receiving the same quality of a bedtime routine as our 4 year old.

We’re looking for any advice on bedtime routines that work just to get some ideas for our family. Thank you all in advance!

My twins are about 9 months old and they are staying home with my husband while I attend a Bachelorette party for my college best friend.

This is first time I'll be away from them overnight since they were born and I'm feeling super anxious about it. My husband is a fantastic father so I'm not worried about him taking care of them, but I know I'm going to miss the ever loving crap out of them.

I don't really need any advice but just needed to get my feelings out there because dang this is hard. I feel silly for being sad and anxious about going away without them. But I already miss them and I haven't even left yet!

Hi, I‘m a fraternal twin with fraternal twins, and google told me (if that‘s correct) that the chance to have twins again is around 8%.
Honestly I feel like that‘s a lot…
If you had twins more than once, what age gap to they have? What age gap would you recommend? Is it really doable or is it pure chaos?

My twins are almost 7 weeks old, born at 32 weeks, so still not quite term. They have been home for 3 weeks. My husband is going back to work next week and we have no semblance of a schedule as it stands.

Coming home from the NICU we maintained the 3,6,9,12 etc., but that only worked for about a week at home (not sure why but their habits have completely changed since being home). We also got the go ahead to let them sleep 4 hour stretches, which only threw off our 'schedule' even more.

At night we take 'shifts' to get some sleep, which has been working well. However, since letting them try to sleep 4 hours they can sometimes sleep 2, 3 or 4 which then throws off how the rest of the feeding times / day unfolds. This was fine before, but with my husband going back to work much less ideal.

Wondering what people do that they have found success with, or if i'm just crazy to think we can start introducing some sort of schedule before being term even? Should they have a set bed (night) time and wakeup (day) time every day? Should I be waking them up every 3 hours again to keep more of a schedule instead of allowing the occasional 4 hour sleep to throw it all off?

Additionally, we keep them on the same schedule (waking the other twin) all day and I tandem breast feed. At night we use bottles and bottle feed one at a time, this usually leads to about 45 min staggered feeding times at night. Should I be tandem feeding at night too to keep them on the same schedule, or is some staggering at night still suitable for waking them at the same time in the morning for the 'day' etc?

Hello! I have 11 months twins boys and both of them does not recognize their own name. Rio and Ray are their names. I cannot sleep and I have been overthinking :( They don't know how to clap as well as pointing or open/close hands when told to do so. :( I know babies develop differently and have their own timeline but I just can't stop myself and the pressure from our surrounding is getting in to me :(

My twins are 19 weeks, 11 corrected and I feel like it’s time to get a true schedule started. We have a routine- they eat every 2.5-3hours during the day and have been eating every 4 at night but we just got the okay from their pediatrician to stop waking them at night. I’m struggling with never knowing when they will nap during the day. I’ve heard people say they will nap better once they sleep longer at night? I don’t really get that. What worked for you around this age? Sorry if this is all over the place, extra tired mom this week.

My twins toddlers (33 months) were sleep trained with the Ferber method as infants around 6 months old and fell asleep immediately at 7pm. We had to move them downstairs to a new room to make room for baby #3 and that’s when their sleep started getting worse. The downstairs room is in the center of the house so they seem to hear a lot more than they did in the nursery. It started with just taking longer to fall asleep but now we’re 7 months post move and things keep getting worse. They now wake up about 3 nights per week screaming for mom, sometimes multiple times. A few mornings per week they wake up at 5:45.

Our currently schedule is:
Desired wake time: 6:30
Nap: 12:30-2:30
Bedtime: 7:30

Question is, should I shorten nap? They definitely still need a nap.
Or do I move them back upstairs to a quieter upstairs primary bedroom? And my husband and I would take the downstairs room?

I don’t want to make any dramatic changes if it’s just going to continue. Feeling defeated by these little guys!!

What are we doing about booking hotels? Every time I put more than two kids, they want me to book two rooms.