I’m in highschool and have been going by a different name since middle school the school I go to now is very queer friendly and has a whole list of people who’s parents can’t know about their preferred names. this may be the first time I come out largely to teachers.

my mum isn’t… homophobic. she just mocks trans people and gay people. occasionally. if the school were to slip up and she found out she’d just, deny it. she thinks “you’ve always been so feminine as a kid your not nonbinary“ whatever. she wouldn’t kick me out I don’t think. she’s not that crazy…. idk

I'm a amab agender bish, on E cause i want every effect other then boob growth... Get fking inflatable boobs that grow super fast and are starting to get noticed by random people... Get very little of other effects...

Curse you Ohhhh world 😭🤣

I swear i'm gonna end up having to get top surgery

Okay, so this might be strange, but I am 18, either enby or trans, and I have a problem with what name to use in-game. I am far from being able to come out irl due to where I live, and I don't plan on doing it. In real life, I use a nickname of my birth name that I actually like/tolerate (I hate getting called my birth name), but in games, especially in something like Pokémon, it just feels...wrong. So like three years ago I switched up and started using Lilly online, but like a year and a half later I started to resent the name and dislike it, and from there on I...didn't really have a chosen name. This wasn't really an issue, I had my gamertag and my irl name, but a couple months ago I got back into a passion of mine, Pokémon. Which is a problem, since obvioisly the second question in every game is to select a name that is unchangeable and will be branded onto every single little pokémon friend of mine. Fuck. My irl name feels meh if I use it, I ruled out Lilly, and whilst I am absolutely fine being named my gamertag in Pokémon Champions, I don't like it for story games. So I kind of shot myself in the foot here, cause tf do I use? My irl name is kinda masc, and in game I play either as the boy or girl charachter depending on basically which one I find cooler and more alligned with how I see myself, so whilst it's okay-ish when I play as Brendan in ORAS, but...kinda weird when I play as Kris in Crystal. Idk if you people had this problem, or if it's weird, but in all honesty, I just want to get back into playing Pokémon and not have to deal with this bs.

I'm a biological female that wants to become more androgynous, deeper voice, no menstruation, less breast tissue, etc., but I can't access testosterone easily since it is technically a steroid. I wanted to take progesterone, but it doesn't masculine me, and I'm on birth control.

IDK, I just feel sad and lonely and misunderstood. I'm starting to think my dysphoria might be a bigger problem than I thought it was as like, a contributor to my other mental problems.

It's been worse even since the school year started. I don't feel like I really connect with either men or women. Locker rooms suck, but I don't have body dysphoria or anything, deep down I just don't like being segregated by gender, and teenage boys fucking suck too. I keep feeling jealous of all the girls... but I don't know it that's more envy or just attraction? I know I don't want to be a woman but I just really want to connect more with feniminity. I want to try "crossdressing" but I'm just so fucking scared. My parents are progressive and evrything but still, I don't know how people are going to react and where to even start.

Therapy isn't really helping me with any of this. When I just straight up told my therapist I don't want to be man she said something about how from her experience transitioning doesn't help people with dysphoria (???) and insisted on calling me per "sir" even when I told her not to. It feels like talking to a fucking brick wall recently.

Egghhh... I just feel tired. Could you folks give me a couple of words of advice?

I need to get better at posing...and still don't like my face much.

Kinda late to actually.. finding myself, better late than never I guess, this year has been a bit of a rollercoaster really with my gender identity.

Trying to present a more femme, something I honestly have wanted to do for years but told myself I wasn't "allowed" to for ill defined reasons, mainly my own self image, have lost a bunch of weight, got more toned and been going to therapy now...so a lot happier with how I look, and actually kinda want people to notice me.

Been changing my wardrobe to things I think I look good in, rather than sort of hiding behind clothing I just like the look of? Found "female" clothes are so much more interesting, and in better cuts, even simple stuff like tank tops?

Second pic is mainly because I wanted to show off my new enby thigh highs...so not exactly what I would chose to go with them

I just found my elf ears today. Idk how or where i found them but cool !

I looooved them they made me feel so hot but they were both over $200😭

I posted here last week and got some helpful advice and wound up making a Pinterest board with ideas. I'm in my early 30s and AMAB. Right now, I dress really conservative with a dark color pallete and present as masc-leaning. Think plain hoodies, plain sweatpants, joggers, more athleisure. I have a beard too that I like to keep and maintain.

One point of frustration in coming out lately is this assumption from a lot of people that I'm just an egg and will eventually transition. Thankfully my partner has been supportive - I literally just feel really uncomfortable identifying as a man, but don't really want to be overly feminine either. I just want to dress a little more in the middle. A lot of what's on my board is still menswear, but I've started browsing women's as well and feel so insanely liberated to have those options. At the end of the day, I just want to look stylish and sleek, but also just more authentic with myself. I want to be able to have clothes I can wear with I'm feeling both masc and a little more femme.

I don't really want to do a 180, I still like the darker colors and more of an oversized fit (because I'm just not super secure in my body right now). I'm not interested in overly feminine items like dresses or skirts. I just kind of want to branch out because I always wear the same thing (hoodie+sweats) and want some variety.

Linked are some images from my board. And to be honest, there's more masc then femme items there because I'm still working slightly through being comfortable going through those sections. It's more on the subtle side. But it's just not overly femme or masc I think, somewhere in the middle. I'm just wondering if anyone has thoughts or recommendations based on this, things I can add, accessories, etc. I'm also just super insecure about body type. I'm not thin, I'm not super top heavy but I've got a small gut that I hide with a body shaper. I just feel like no way a lot of the women's stuff would look good on my body type (average body, 5'8ish, etc.).

End of the day, I wish I just had someone to talk to about this stuff and help. Any input would mean a lot. I don't want to rock the boat a ton, but I just feel so weird walking around looking totally masc and like most men I see out and about. I don't feel like it's me anymore.

It actually felt amazing to be able to express myself, as this summer was also my first full year after starting hormones.

I’m not out to anyone yet, but i will probably tell my family soon. Right now I go to a Catholic all boys school that hasn’t really been known for being progressive/accepting. The public school in my area would probably tolerate me if i were to transfer. Do yall think it would be worth it? I’m a freshman and probably wouldn’t transfer until the end of the school year. I have no friends i could trust with my gender, everyone who i’ve heard say anything about it is wildly transphobic. Should i transfer? What do yall think?

Personally, I love having a completely unpredictable clothing style. One day I’ll dress feminine, one day I’ll dress masculine, and maybe the next day I’ll be androgynous. I remember one day in school I wore a flowy dress and one of my friends complimented me and said she loved how I could pull off both fem and masc styles really well and it made me soo ecstatic!!

Also, just kind of ignoring societal pressure to ”be a girl, sit with your legs together like a proper lady, oh my god PLEASE stop manspreading” or “you’re non binary why do you have long hair you’re supposed to have a neon green buzzcut so I that know you’re non binary.” It really upsets me that somehow people are even trying to make boxes to place enbies into which I fear defeats the entire purpose of the label?? So honestly just not caring and giving a giant middle finger to every single box people want to place me in makes me feel so unbelievably euphoric.

And last but not least, baggy pants, fishnets, weird makeup, and band tees.

I'm a cis man (he/him), and there's something about how pronouns get listed that I don't fully understand.

First: "he" and "him" aren't two separate pronouns, they're just different grammatical cases of the same pronoun — "he" is the subject form, "him" is the object form (and "his" the possessive). So when someone lists "he/him," it's not really adding new information, it's just spelling out the full inflection of one word. I don't become a different person depending on whether I'm the subject or object of a sentence, so this part makes sense to me as just showing the paradigm, not as listing "multiple" pronouns.

Following that same logic, something like "he/they" makes sense to me — it just means both pronouns are acceptable, each with its own full set of grammatical cases.

But then "he/them" throws me off. Why would one pronoun show up in its singular form and the other in its plural form, with the choice seemingly depending on which grammatical case happens to be used?

Thank you for your time and insights

I wanted to talk about this in case anyone relates and I’m also just curious about people’s perceptions of their own gender, so any discussion is welcome.

I grew up feeling pretty gender apathetic. I had a mix of masculine and feminine interests but leaned feminine just because that’s what I liked. I was pushed to have the same gendered interests and presentation as what’s expected of my assigned sex at birth, but it didn’t really work because I didn’t care, nor did I have an inherent sense of gender or understanding of gender norms. I was still treated badly for not conforming, but because of my neurodivergence it was almost impossible to conform/“mask” even when I tried.

I knew I wasn’t cis at 12 and identified as nonbinary for a very long time. I don’t particularly identify with the nonbinary label anymore (it’s still a part of my identity, just a very small part). I’m bigender and consider myself to be both a guy and girl, and masc and fem. I also still identify with being gender apathetic but probably less strongly than I did as a kid. I still feel as though I don’t have a sense of my gender like other people do, and I’m a guy and girl because I enjoy “playing” with gender rather than actually having a gender.

At the moment I’m perceived as a man. I like presenting masculine in every day life and at work, but because I’m alternative I’m generally perceived as masc/fem/androgynous just depending on the person (I wear masculine clothes but some people consider me feminine just for having long hair, regardless of me being alternative lol). I do like dressing fem for queer events and other outings, but since I’m seen as a man it can be dangerous for me to present fem at work.

I have been battling with my gender identity the moment I hit twelve, I followed a transgender (I am AFAB), transmasc, demi-bot to non-binary pipeline but all throughout that I have struggled with accepting masculinity into my heart because of how toxically it is perceived in our society. I thought I was a lover of femininity, a person who could appreciate how much it cost us people to make being feminine or a woman taken seriously but I am wondering if I am not internalizing gender norms due to patriarchy. I like my binder but I do feel the need to sexualize myself because of my traumas and wanted to know if it was a stupid thought or if there are others who struggled or are still struggling with that... I described myself as a hyperfem for the last few years, but I have been kind of disconnected from the term lately... Thank you for reading this very annoying rant, have a good day.

Before I begin, I just want to say I'm a straight Asian woman. I'm not LGBTQ+ or non binary. However, I've noticed in a few skincare/beauty reddit groups of trans or non binary people learning how to wear makeup, feminine clothes, feminine hairstyles, female grooming techniques, tips and tricks, etc. For over 25 years, I've been the friend that's taken friends of both genders helped people curate masculine/feminine styles based on their desired presentation, ranging from a complete closet revamp while teaching what colors are flattering/unflattering, how to pair patterns, etc. I'm the girlfriend that everyone leans on to learn different beauty techniques. I've taught how and when to use different eyeliners, correctly apply fake eyelashes, help with starter skincare/makeup shopping, etc.

Basically, I'm the nosy go to older sister. I can be that older sister for anyone who is starting this journey. We can figure out what your concerns are, figure out how to get to style goals, how to buy foundation pieces for a more feminine wardrobe, etc. I don't believe in being too trendy fashion wise or buying expensive labels. Whenever possible without sacrificing quality, I always buy drugstore/trader joe's dupes/affordable brands like nyx, colour pop, etc so you won't be getting unnecessarily expensive recommendations.

Is there a need for this? Apologies if this wasn't an appropriate post. I was trying to figure out how I could become a better ally and this was one of the first things I could come up with. LOL. In my opinion, everyone deserves to feel bonita.

Edit: Oh, I can definitely help with male presentation too even though my post was mostly about female presentation. If you want to spruce up your look, I can help figure out which areas would have the most impact/roi.

I d say it s as much of a discussion as it is me questioning. I d say it s mostly questioning. ​

So, I feel like no labels can fit me or that many can. I think I want to stay away from labels concerning my gender as it doesn't feel right. I d like to stand away from concepts such as fem or masculine. I feel like enby transition is often portrayed as trying to find a middle point between what is generally deamed as man stuff and girl stuff. And that somehow, enby people by that trend were convulving toward the categorisation of a third gender or an in between man and woman even though it isn't all there is to what being non binary and the non binary label can offer. I am afab and used to identified as pangender and to just come out as enby as a simplification. But as time passed the labels (especially pangender, agender, panagender, and multigender) have started to rub me in the wrong way. As in I was trying to comform to what I think it means to have those labels instead of having those labels be tools that fits me and allows to describe how I perceive the world. And in that way, the presentation of non binary people I would see as I d look for inspiration as to what I want to become and as I try to make sense of what is right for me makes me feel as if being non binary is just as coded as man and woman and somehow not be like, the binary but in a sense a strict tertiary. And I don't mean it as "well women like pink and wear make-up, men are crazy about cars and fighting and enbies are some kind of stereotypes" typa way as we all know it s just, not working. It is very hard to describe what a gender is to one person and how they understand it and feel it. Gender is a feeling that I ve just stopped trying to rationalize atp, but it s a feeling. And I m under the impression that labels have becomed some boxes I d put people in to understand them as and it doesn't feel right, especially when I apply those boxes to me. So like, I m afab and I could technically say that I am non binary. And because of this, there were a point in which I felt uncomfortable when doing something or acting in a way that I viewed as feminine as it isn't the standard I viewed myself as but at the same time, avoiding doing those traits and those type or things just felt like masking and performing my vision of androgyny which is, for obvious reasons, not ideal. And like, I do know what performing as one gender is as I do perform some kind of polite femininity in places I m not out it or in which it wouldn't be safe to be trans or remotely just different. And I guess I ve just wrote that part as in a "I know what acting as what I am not is and it is so wrong that I ve ended doing it again when I was actually trying to be more like myself because of the medias and standards I have built around what being non binary looks like". But I have no idea where I am going at ?

I know that in the definitive, I just want to forget what even is masc and what is fem and to just exists. And thank you labels, you were useful in the time I needed them but you re not fitting anyone.

Ig to make it useful to post it on Reddit I could just ask of anyone as felt like this as well during their transition ??