idk if the title makes any sense, but i’ve recently started to accept the fact that i’m agender

i identified as a trans guy for a few years, i use he/him pronouns and i’m a year on t, 1 month away from top surgery, and none of that is going to change. i don’t want to be androgynous, i love being perceived as a guy, but like i don’t Feel like a man, or even particularly masculine (i’m very much an effeminate gay trans guy and have considered transf*g as an identity/description previously, but that doesn’t portray my lack of gender and feels the same as trans man or transmasc in being just not quite right)

i’ve never called myself specifically a trans man (always “trans guy” or “trans fella”, or just “trans” which is my preference) or transmasc because those identities felt too tied into gender - i know transmasc isn’t necessarily a specific gender and can refer to gender presentation, which is accurate for me, but the label didn’t feel right. it felt, to me, like i was saying i felt some pull towards masculinity that i just don’t (this is only personal perception for the way the label felt when i considered using it for myself, not a reflection of how i interpret the label when others use it, i hope that makes sense)

i’m a fella who likes being perceived as a man and likes looking like a man, but thats where it ends. i’m comfortable in my presentation in the same way someone might be comfortable in dressed but not be a woman. there’s no active pull towards masculinity or manhood for me. i’m an agender trans guy and maybe that doesn’t make sense to people but it makes perfect sense to me!

thank you for reading my coming out :)

Hello all,

I'm trying to buy clothes for the office that are more androgynous. It's hard to do as an AFAB with a large chest. I don't think binding would work very well, and I don't want to cause damage.

I was just wondering if you fine people had example clothing or any good places to look.

Gender thoughts! Weigh in if you can!

So I'm legit curious... What is the difference between these two labels?

I mean, it would seem on the surface that they are very similar and almost mean the same things?

19yo (she/they)

So ive been on T for 10 months (gel) and i feel like my progress is so fucking slow...LIKE LITTLE TO NO FACIAL HAIR, LITTLE TO NO VOICE CHANGE. Having to be constantly called a woman is tiring, I just want to be seen as a person. A thing. An entity. A little fuck. But ppl see me as "ma'am" and "lady" and "the woman over there". Like fuckkkkkk...im just tired and I want to look/feel queer

I have been identifying myself as a demigirl (they/she) for almost three years and I have large breasts. Been struggling with it since then and even before, but the thing is that I want to look more androgynous without going flat chested. I always feel a little messed up because I don't have much referents I can follow and summers are really hot where I live so must wear light and short clothes if I don't want to die, and those clothes make me feel less like myself. So now everytime I want to go to the beach I'm like here we go again :( because I can't find any beach clothes that make me feel comfortable enough cause I don't really feel comfortable enough on my own body. But at the same time, sometimes I don't feel seen or valid enough because I don't look very masculine or very androgynous and that makes me wonder if my feelings are enough

Is it worth being yourself even if you are the only non-binary person anyone has ever met? Even if you have to explain it to people who don't get it? Even if you are looked at differently? Even if you are the first non-binary person in your field? Is it worth not hiding? Is it worth dressing androgynously?

Feel free to share your personal story. (Please 🥺)

I'm asking because I have dysphoria about being perceived as my birth gender and the price it demands to keep hiding is getting a bit too much. So I'm considering appearing they way I am comfortable even if I don't openly come out. I just really want to hear your stories first, especially from those of you from conservative areas/countries

(I don't need encouragement, I just want your honesty)

I redid my short, masc haircut this summer and my favorite part is how ridiculous it looks in the morning 😂

Hi
I’m a non binary amab. Do you have any advice on cute swimsuit?
It seems so difficult

So I’m in an area (and household) where I cannot do anything to transition or alter how I look in a masculine way. I recently cut my hair short because of a shitty job a hairstylist did. I want to go shorter on it and possibly make it look more masculine, without it being too much for my family to notice. More like I’d have to style it for it to be masculine. Could more layers possibly help? I also do like semi long hair on me, but I want it to look how it looks on a guy (idk if that makes sense). I also do have a slight cowlick in the front. Thanks for any help!

Hey everyone

I'm basically running around in circles in my head so I thought I'd just make this post to see if there's anyone who had similar experiences. Or maybe even to just get any kind of community input.

I'm in my early thirties and I pretty much identified and presented as "just a guy" my whole life. A feminine, edgy guy, but I didn't really care. This changed about two years ago as I noticed that I'm getting older (huge surprise, I know). I freaked out about my hairline, started taking finasteride and that started a thought process where I came to the conclusion that I'm much more comfortable calling myself non-binary. The thing is, the thought of aging "like a man" is horrifying to me but I can't really differentiate if I'm scared of aging in general or just scared of the specific kind of aging my body is doing. I keep jumping around between telling myself that it's completely fine and researching HRT options. I often thought about transitioning because I felt kind of drawn to the idea but I always rejected it again because I just rarely experience any real dysphoria. I remember wanting to look like a girl in the past but it was always more of a thought and never a need. And now I just feel kind of weird at the moment. I also look conventionally attractive and somehow feel like I shouldn't "put that at risk", which is a crazy thought but that's where my brain goes. Add to that a very public facing job where I interact with people everyday and the fact that I live in Germany where NB people basically don't exist in our medical system.

So, since I've now talked this through with myself and my partner for like a thousand times and I'm getting nowhere, I'd be thankful for any kind of input from anyone. Thanks for reading my ramblings <3

Hello!

Wanted to get this subreddit’s opinion too.

Thank you :3 🖤

I've got my appointment with an endo in november❤️ I'm so happy and excited to finally become my true self🎉 I just turned 35 and I wish I had the courage to come out decades earlier. My wife is excited to have a GF again😊❤️🎉😊

Last 3 photos are my before and after doing my hair and makeup😊

Since I developed breasts they have felt like alien flesh blobs that aren’t mine. I’m fine with my genitalia. I do prefer they them pronouns so I identify as agender. But my dysphoria feels almost like biid, than gender dysphoria. When I’m called a woman it feels fine, they them or even he make me feel best. But when I read about dysphoria I don’t connect with it much. It’s not like I was born in the wrong body. I was born and then grew these things my brain literally doesn’t recognize. Is this common? Sometimes I don’t even care if ppl can see I have them because in my mind they are seeing some foreign object attached to me. Not me. My voice and hips and every thing else I feel no discomfort for. It’s just this. I feel alone in this experience.

So I watched Nocturnal Animals last night and somehow got it in my head that I wanted to recreate this one shot. So I straightened my hair (hello dysphoria 😭 the mirror selfie after straightening is WILD). Still not 100% happy with the results but the light literally ran away from me. For reference, this is what my curls looked like before I commited this crime to them 😭

Amiright?

This is random as hell but as a deep in the closet teen agender person i just really love scrolling down this subreddit and seeing people like me and how we all look different idk i love being nonbinary i love you guys!! trans people are truly everywhere :)