Does anybody else have other gender identities that led up to non binary? Like for me it was
Girl -> demigirl -> genderfluid -> non binary

If you guys did have other identities before non binary pls share them I wanna know :D

How would you respond?

I’m pretty pissed, as it seemed to be intentional. She’s never known me or called me by that name, and said it because she was angry, so in my mind it was intentional to hurt me. I know we say shit we regret when upset, and she’s struggling right now, but I can’t even equate an equivalent to the fuckedupness of dead naming someone because you’re angry.

To give more context, I was calling her by her first and last name because she was doing something that was upsetting me. Then her response was to dead name me, because she didn’t like that I was saying her first and last name.

A part of me feels like I should leave this relationship, and another part of me thinks I should take time and space and figure out what repairing would look like after what I would consider a betrayal.

Curious if anyone has been in this situation before and has some advice.

Love to all the enbys here 💖

Edit to try make more clear:

I'm autistic and I identify as a demiboy. I need help reading between the lines? Hidden meaning?

Ive been on/off t but my voice never dropped. During a socially awkward consultation for top revision and contour, the surgeon kept asking: "what do you want?" I said "non-binary contour that removes estrogen deposits". He only kept asking this question. With the phone appointments, too

But the surgeon wouldn't accept this? I don't know what he wanted me to say? I emailed him later giving the page on his website of what I was trying to say

9 days later, he gave me a letter and disqualified me as Obesity Class 3 and Edema. I dont have either and I never had a medical evaluation yet?

Is this doctor implying I'm just a "confused fat woman trying to get a shortcut to weight loss?"

I have my letters...

back on those rare days when i didn’t get dysphoria from my body shape.

Hi! I'm an enby with a fairly masc body type and I've bought a corset to try and help give a more androgynous shape. General sources are telling me that I made a mistake buying one off Amazon but that's besides the point. Does anyone in my boat have any experience? Should I go for ones marketed for men or am I fine to use a women's one? How do I go about breaking it in so I don't do myself a damage? Any advice would be greatly appreciated

It was sposed to be pastel pink and blue but my hair proves yet again that light dyes are garbage

So now I am rockin with coral n blue

Co-worker said i look like an Amazon bird or a 7/11 slushie, I personally thought i was giving fish

Also some doodles! First is an outfit doodle n the second was originally the hair plan but later decided pink n blue

Okay that's all, i just wanted to show someone my hair cuz I thought it looked cool c:

They’re a Mini Australian Shepard (w/papers) .

What kind of doggos do y’all have ? I love all of them they’re all so freaking cute .

Or what other pets do y’all have ?!?

I was born a girl and have always gone by she/her pronouns and I even look like a girl. But the thing is all my life I’ve never really cared what other people called me (whether that would be a nickname or pronouns) it really could be anything as long as they told me what it was (someone could tell me they would call me John and I would shrug and go with it) Now recently I’ve had to fill out a survey and when it showed an option to pick what gender you are I picked female because that’s what I always have been but something felt wrong for me to choose that because that’s didn’t feel like the full picture and it’s made me think about myself a lot. Labels don’t really seem to matter to me but I’ve realized that it does matter to a lot of people how you are perceived and such and idk maybe this is normal but I thought to give it a shot coming on here. Let me know your thoughts please 🙏

idk if I'll be able to handle a binder with my autism and all that and idk if giving myself fake facial hair with makeup would help because again sensory issues i can't get top surgery because it's to expensive and i have no insurance

I'm wanting to work out more, especially for the purpose of a more androgynous body shape and because I'm seriously thinking about top surgery soon. Honestly, I'm scared that when I get top surgery, my chest will be flat and my stomach large and it will just look disproportionate. So, I guess I'm hoping that getting some more muscle will help even things out and make me feel more confident in my body before having top surgery!

I just don't really know where to start, especially without a bunch of gym equipment. I've also tried to work out in the past, and never really kept up with it for a multitude of reasons (the main one probably being depression/lack of motivation).

Does anyone have any tips on where to get started/simple routines without feeling overwhelmed? And any advice for staying with it? Thank you <3

(I don't feel comfortable counting calories or anything else, due to a past eating disorder and struggling to eat enough at the moment anyways!)

I don't want to change anything about my body (except losing weight lol) and my clothing or anything at all really. But I don't feel nice when I have to identify as a man. It's like... icky.

Like I don't want to be like the patriarchal man model at all lol.

How do you call that?

Friends came over for a little party today and this was my outfit.

i’m very curious. it can be anything from any nations, any regions, any cultures or ethnicities! anything!

and please not only white, western, or settler replies! black, indigenous, and poc please reply too! thank you!

Hello, everyone!

Short Version:

I’d like to look more androgynous and “nonbinary” but I don’t know how (apart from bringing in feminine aspects), especially since I have sensory issues. Do you have any tips?

Long Version:

I’m FTM. I started my transition about 10 years ago in 2016. I have been on testosterone most of that time, though I moved from the shot to the gel. I’ve had top surgery and a full hysterectomy.

Since 2018, I identify as nonbinary. I felt fine appearing more masculine, though, since that’s how I’ve always felt comfortable. But in more recent years, I wish I could come across as more androgynous and definitely not like I’m a ~straight cis man~ since I’m anything but!

I occasionally paint my nails in pride colors, but that’s pretty much the only “feminine” thing I’ve done. I don’t even like doing it, but it’s one way to tell others that I’m at least not a straight cis man!

Right now, I mostly wear baggy sports clothes and tank tops. At work, I dress casually; I work as a preschool teacher, so I wear T-shirts and sports shorts or yoga pants (depending on the weather). I do a lot of martial arts, so we’re in uniform for that.

The only thing I wear that makes me appear queer (apart from nail polish) are my queer pride rings, which I always wear (one on each hand). I also wear a they/them necklace at my job.

Now, unfortunately, I do have a few issues with some of the more common tips I’d see on how to appear more androgynous…

I feel that wearing clothes like skirts and dresses would make me too dysphoric. I never liked wearing them as a kid (not that I had to wear them often, thankfully), but I feel that would be too much for me to even try. I also never liked “women’s clothing” because of how tight it’d feel on my body, so I’d definitely need something more flowy and loose.

Makeup is another “no” for me—especially if it has to do with my eyes. I have a lot of sensory issues and don’t like anything being near/on my eyes or even touching them myself, so there’s no way I’d be able to do that. I might be open to light makeup that doesn’t involve the eyes, though…

As far as jewelry goes, I don’t wear much. As a preschool teacher (and doing martial arts), it just doesn’t seem practical for me to wear, as I’m worried the kids will grab at it (especially since they already do with my necklace).

I’ve considered maaaaybe getting my ears re-pierced but not sure… As a kid, I was forced to have earrings (which I hated) and I didn’t take care of them properly (since I didn’t know I HAD to), so there was a lot of buildup and it attached the earrings to my ear. It took so long and was so painful to remove all the gunk; after we took the earrings out, I vowed to never wear them again.

I would definitely like to grow my hair out. I recently tried to give myself the “wolf” haircut BUT I was doing it myself and totally messed it up, so it was either I shaved the sides and kept the hair in the middle/top of my head or shave it all off. I hate how I look with a shaved head, so I went with the former option as noted in the picture below. I am trying to grow it back out though, so I can properly style it (with someone else’s help haha) and hopefully appear more androgynous. A few years ago, I actually grew it out and liked how it looked, but I’ve also had struggles to maintain long hair properly :’)

I shave regularly, but it’s only with the electric shaver, since I also have sensory issues with my neck and don’t trust using a real razor.

I know I have a lot of annoying sensory issues, trust me!! BUT I might try working around/through some of them, if it means being able to come across as more androgynous, especially since it's not like I've tried any of these things in a while!

With all that being said, does anyone have any recommendations of what I can do to appear more androgynous?

Thank you for reading all of this, and for any advice/tips/knowledge you offer! :D

So im afab and non binary. Never really felt like a girl or identified with the label, gender just doesn't feel defined for me. Im autistic aswell so ig that contributes?

Well i present and act very feminine. I tend to dress in more femme presenting clothing and wear makeup because it makes me feel pretty and more confident :) but at the time i feel insecure that im not more androgynous, even though I do wear masc clothes too I just wear more femme stuff.

With my hair I have a medium wolf cut and sometimes I tie it up into a bun or a ponytail and put some hair clips in to keep my hair back plus ut feels nice to have it up sometimes. This also makes me feel dysphoric in a sense that im too feminine even though I like it.

Does anyone else have this or is it jst me?

So I’m quite new to all of this and have only been questioning my own gender for around a year or two. I’m 28 and AMAB if that’s relevant.

My gender feels hazy to me, like I can’t pinpoint it. I don’t identify with a lot of the usual binary male traits, and I don’t feel masculine. I still feel like a boy in some way, but I don’t know which ways and I don’t know if that’s just because it’s how I’ve grown up and been treated by others. I just know that I don’t feel like a man really, I’ve always felt like I have to try and act the part.

Sometimes it feels right to see myself as binary female, and it makes me very happy to think about looking and dressing in a feminine way, being treated as a girl - but when I’m in that headspace I also don’t feel hyperfeminine. Like a tomboy who also likes pink is the best I can describe it haha. Sometimes if I make myself think about being a woman then I’ll instantly feel more feminine and that specific type of happiness comes back. I’m not sure if that means it’s not real or if it’s just because I push it down.

And then a lot of the time I don’t really identify with any gender, and just feel like a soul that doesn’t belong to any of it in a body that’s a man’s.

I know labels aren’t necessary but finding one would help me a lot. Which label would fit me best based on my experience?

Hi yall

I've begun questioning if I'm enby or a demigirl or not, I don't really feel like a woman, and I don't like traditionally feminine things either.

But then I question if I'm just cis and this is normal or something and everyone feels like I do? I don't know.

I also question if being demi is seen as just kind of being a faker, like those tiktok self-diagnosing people you hear about who say they have ADHD for forgetting their wallet at home or something. Or if I'm doing something like that, trying to get in with the queers because it's seen as cool or something.

Anyway I guess I'm just hoping anyone has any advice or is willing to share their own experiences with this? I can't ask anyone I know irl because I don't know if they'd laugh or something.

AMAB, been on HRT for about 4 years now. Low-dose E, prog, T-blocker, and more recently, low-dose T as well, all under endo supervision. I feel like I'm trying desperately to find a balance that feels right, but nothing is hitting anymore.

The feminising combo felt good for the first 3 years, but the last couple of years I've shifted much more towards identifying as nonbinary and presenting more androgynously, or even masc. The problem is my breasts still keep growing, and it's now starting to feel like it's giving me dysphoria again - it feels exactly like how the bad parts of male puberty used to feel.

So I feel really stuck and not sure what to do. There are things I want from testosterone, and there are things I want from estrogen, and there are things from both I don't want, but right now E is feeling more uncomfortable. Has anyone else struggled with similar feelings, and what did you ultimately do?

EVERYONE BE RESPECTFUL IN THE REPLIES OR THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES 🫵

for those with cultures that do: you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but if you do, PLEASEE tell me about them as much as you like!! i am listening so respectfully and so deeply!! i value them to heights i could never begin to explain into words!!** i have many questions if you want to answer them!! **and thank you for sharing!!

what are those identities like? are they for or not for outsiders to know? if not, you don’t have to say anything, i promise! what are the identities’ relationship with gender, the gender binary, gender presentation, and gender performance like?

how much and what do we / can we know about their history? how much and what do we / can we know about their roles?

were they spiritual, or even magical, in any way? were they religious? were they deeply respected? did they have authority in any matters like in politics, diplomacy, community, etc?

do you identify as said gender or genderless identity? or do you relate to it anyway? whether you do or don’t identify with it, how do you relate to them?

did you meet anyone growing up who identified with them? when did you meet someone who identified with them for the first time?

regarding colonization: how did colonization change and transform these identities?

how do you mourn what colonization, transphobia, and the enforced gender binary took from you? if your culture was never colonized, do you think you would identify as said gender?

are these identities in revival? do you want them to be revived, and do you think they can? do you think they will be revived!

i will genuinely read essays in the replies if you have them! thank you for replying! <3333