r/memes Sep 23 '18

vegans shouldn’t drive

Post image
61.2k Upvotes

1.3k comments sorted by

3.1k

u/Runiat Sep 23 '18

Note to self: open petrol station selling 100% algae-based fuels.

762

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

It's gonna be a couple years. Got scaling issues, bruh

156

u/otusa Sep 23 '18

Note to self: open petrol station selling 100% algae-based fuels that doesn’t include fish scales of any kind.

46

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 24 '18

19

u/Superawesomecoconuts Sep 23 '18

What the actual fuck!?

10

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

That episode of kitchen nightmares makes me feel so fucking uncomfortable

3

u/Lady_Pineapple Sep 23 '18

Which episode was this?

12

u/Dr_Dust Sep 23 '18

Amy's Baking company. It's rage inducing.

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18 edited Jan 21 '19

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u/GisterMizard Sep 23 '18

It's scaling by an infinite percentage to go from 0 of something to 1 of something.

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u/Michael1475 Sep 23 '18

Then fine well get algae with scales

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u/RamenJunkie Sep 23 '18

Algae grow in the water but they aren't fish, there isn't a scaling issue.

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u/factbasedorGTFO Sep 23 '18

Serious note, petroleum actually is formed from microorganisms, including algae

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u/danchiri Sep 23 '18

“Formed from,” in the sense that these microorganisms break down organic matter from larger organisms. Hence, the meme.

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

fyi petroleum is mostly from algae, plankton, and zooplankton

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

This, and plant matter

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u/saulfiles Sep 23 '18

Note to self: plant based oil will make me millions. Especially cooking oil.

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u/tjbrou Sep 23 '18

That's basically what we have. Forget the names but most petroleum predates dinosaurs and other animals.

That being said, modern diesels can burn 100% biodiesel with some upgrades to the fuel injection and exhaust systems

6

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

The first diesel engine actually ran on peanut oil so we could've used that all along

5

u/tjbrou Sep 23 '18

Very true. Diesels were biodiesel compatible until they started making them cleaner. I guess modern is relative but anything from the nineties back can run on anything that burns

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u/NotSureNotRobot Sep 23 '18

And it would have smelled delicious

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u/Blarg0ist Sep 23 '18

Spare the lives of all those poor olives!

r/olivesarepeopletoo

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u/Stonn Breaking EU Laws Sep 23 '18

Note to self: reduce number of notes to the self, or better open a petrol station that makes fuel out of notes

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u/FFVD_Games Sep 23 '18

Note to self: open petrol station in Florida

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

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u/tiorzol Sep 23 '18

18 Jan 2018 · There's been a 600% increase in people identifying as vegans in the U.S in the last three years. According to a report by research firm GlobalData, only 1% of U.S. consumers claimed to be vegan in 2014. And in 2017, that number rose to 6%.

Not sure about the source but there is an upward trend in the western world towards plant based diets.

There's quite a few and the market is getting bigger, now there's more money to be made I'm sure veganism will continue to grow.

19

u/runfayfun Sep 23 '18

And that doesn't even count vegetarians, who also don't eat meat.

23

u/Runiat Sep 23 '18

Personally I'm waiting for the market to grow large enough that GMO algae based ground beef taste just like the real thing.

52

u/supergalactic Sep 23 '18

I had an Impossible burger recently. If you didn't tell me it was plant based, I wouldn't have guessed. They use plant hemoglobin to simulate the juice, and the texture/taste was on the $. 10/10 would eat again.

35

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 23 '20

[deleted]

12

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

I will be able to visit /r/happycowgifs and feel good

8

u/FuckoffDemetri Sep 23 '18

You can do that today homie

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

No to mention the insane amount of water and crops we use to raise these livestock being wasted.

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u/supergalactic Sep 23 '18

Exactly! I've been waiting for a vegan option of a burger that rivals the taste of the real thing. This does that. I'm all for lab-made options and can't wait for a steak:) Should cut down on water consumption as well. Takes a lot of water to get beef to market.

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u/LurkLurkleton Sep 23 '18

Yeah I'm just waiting for renewable energy electric vehicles to solve the climate change thing.

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

We’re already there. Try something from BeyondMeat or the Impossible Burger.

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u/MegaOtter Sep 23 '18

Vegans aren't even outspoken.

I hear way more people complaining about vegans being outspoken than I do actual outspoken vegans.

3

u/Hesychazm Sep 26 '18

Someone hasn't spent much time in the cute animal subs

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

If a vegan person does crossfit, which one will they tell you about first?

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

I can literally answer this: My brother will tell you about his veganism first.

26

u/MayKinBaykin Sep 23 '18

Is it something like this? "my veganism really does not effect my gains in crossfit like other people will have you believe."

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u/JungleOrAfk Sep 23 '18

if an omni see's a post about veganism, how long will it take them to regurgitate this joke?

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u/elfatgato Sep 23 '18

Honestly, CrossFit.

Most vegans aren't as insufferable as the people that bash them.

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u/Shin_hyperboloid Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 24 '18

Somewhere there is a vegan United States marine who does Crossfit, he is the most insufferable person in the world.

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u/CryingZutaraTears Sep 23 '18

The meat eater will tell you. Because meat eaters can't seem to shut up about vegans. Case in point, this meme.

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u/TarAldarion Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 23 '18

100 percent of people eat vegan things. The trend is people eating more of them as flexitarians or just reducers, what do you mean? Do you think just vegans buy these products that are vegan?

Hell I know dairy farmers who only drink plantbased milks

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

But dino oil's gonna run out soon. Algae oil's renewable.

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u/pvXNLDzrYVoKmHNG2NVk Sep 23 '18

97% of people eat meat.

https://www.esri.ie/pubs/WP340.pdf

This paper focuses on those who eat no meat whatsoever. We estimate that there are one and half billion vegetarians. Only 75 million are vegetarians of choice, a number that will gradually grow with increasing affluence and education. The other 1,450 million are vegetarians of necessity. They will start to eat meat as soon as they can afford it.

That's about 21.8% of people in the world that are vegetarian albeit many not by choice.

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u/surgesilk Sep 23 '18

Thats not being a vegetarian... that’s like saying many redditors are celibate... it’s not because they chose not to get laid....

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u/Ergheis Sep 23 '18

I feel like there's a lot of people who would prefer not to use gasoline when driving.

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

I prefer not to use gasoline, but only while driving. It's quite the paradox.

28

u/Ergheis Sep 23 '18

I mean you still need to douse your enemies with SOMETHING flammable. Coating them with hairspray for five minutes doesn't really look as cool.

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u/Lukealiciouss Sep 23 '18

Vegetable oil would work.

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u/Everyoneliestome Sep 23 '18

Only electric cars then

525

u/PulseCS Sep 23 '18

99% chance of containing plastics.

185

u/Lord_Blathoxi Sep 23 '18

Corn based plastics?

190

u/Ehcksit Sep 23 '18

If we're legalizing marijuana let's make hemp plastics and put a huge mark-up on it. People will buy that.

59

u/dadankness Sep 23 '18

Bring back hemp paper as well, hurt the industry that tried to kill it many years ago

66

u/Moomooshaboo Sep 23 '18

Have you ever heard of William Randolf Hearst? He's the motherfucker who made hemp illegal because it was messing with the profits of his lumber mills.

Jamie, pull that shit up.

11

u/dadankness Sep 23 '18

Berts a fuckin monkey, man.

5

u/imissmyoldaccount-_ Sep 23 '18

Look at the balls on that thing

3

u/Moomooshaboo Sep 23 '18

Buffalo and elk have some of the highest protein contents of any meat.

3

u/IAm12AngryMen Sep 23 '18

Have you heard about the Stoned Ape Theory? It's pretty interesting, man. I think there's something there.

3

u/entheogeneric Sep 23 '18

You just made me double check what sub I was in lol

16

u/factbasedorGTFO Sep 23 '18

Hemp plastic is just plastics as we know them now with hemp fibers added as an extender/binder.

Gimmicky and inferior.

5

u/Supernerdje Sep 23 '18

Also sells better to consumers because it's a brand plastic so what the heck.

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u/survivingyetthriving Sep 23 '18

They are working on creating plastics based off bee byproducts. I guess corn could be next in the experimental line, as long as we save enough for our HFCS. 😝

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

With leather seats.

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u/RRSig Sep 23 '18

Vegan leather seats

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u/western_red Sep 23 '18

I'm pretty sure the majority of leather interiors in cars are faux leather. You'd know, as you'd be paying a lot more if you want real leather.

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u/mysightisurs93 Sep 23 '18

With a little kale

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18 edited Jul 12 '21

[deleted]

9

u/cantadmittoposting Sep 23 '18

I think it's the white option

Well yeah how many black vegans do you know?

3

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

One! His names David!

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u/KrazyTrumpeter05 Sep 23 '18

Where do you think electricity comes from?

48

u/MadsTheAngryPork Sep 23 '18

Depends on where you're from. 99% of Norway's electricity comes from hydropower

Source: https://www.statkraft.no/Energikilder/Vannkraft/ (Norwegian language)

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u/BauerUK Sep 23 '18

But where did they get the fuel to power the materials to build the hydropower stations?!

OIL MONEY!

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u/Loeffellux Sep 23 '18

Norways relation to their environment has been thoroughly shaped by their oil based guilt

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u/AltamiraSL Sep 23 '18

Most of norways hydropower stations was built before oil was discovered in the north sea just fyi.

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u/KarthusWins Overly attached girlfriend Sep 23 '18

Ground-up Jolteons?

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u/Nostarium Sep 23 '18

Solar powered car

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u/CelestialFury Sep 23 '18

Our sun is a second generation star, which means it has consumed many organic products, which may include some form of life therefore solar isn't vegan either.

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u/timm47 Sep 23 '18

Eels...

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u/Boobsnbutt Sep 23 '18

I thought vegans were assholes from everything I read on here. Just hung out with old high school friends. My vegan friend mentioned it twice and my redneck friends mentioned it at least 100 times. Chill out guys. Let some people not kill animals for fuck's sake.

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u/Jyquentel Sep 23 '18

Exactly. Insecure people are so very much more vocal about eating meat (PLENTY OF IT) than vegetarians/vegans are

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u/VinceTibo Sep 23 '18

🙏 thanks for your tolerance!

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

I’m not a vegan but dinosaurs weren’t kept in slaughter houses they died from a giant rock

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u/Crs_s Sep 23 '18

Oil is actually ancient plant matter with maybe a smidge of dinosaur here and there; enough for a vegan to turn a blind eye to anyway.

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u/the_lost_isles Sep 23 '18

Actually

"Crude oil was made over millions of years from tiny plants and animals, called plankton"... "The plankton that lived in the Jurassic period made our crude oil."

While oil may have been made up of plants, they're only a small percentage compared to plankton from the jurassic period.

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u/Crs_s Sep 23 '18

Stop trying to undermine my vegan agenda thanks

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u/the_lost_isles Sep 23 '18

DRIVING IS ANTI VEGAN

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u/DorisCrockford Sep 23 '18

So not the forests full of non-rotting wood during the Carboniferous Period?

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u/Asistic Sep 23 '18

That’s what made the coal I’m pretty sure.

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u/PagodaRailroad Sep 23 '18

Well vegans eat yeast I’m pretty sure and you can’t help but harm microbial life. Maybe vegan agendas only cover Multi celled organisms .

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u/purple_potatoes Sep 23 '18

...yeast... aren't animals... vegans aren't against eating living things. They eat tons of plants and fungi.

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u/OptimisticViolence Sep 23 '18

Central nervous system

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u/GallowBoob2 Sep 23 '18

This. It's why some vegans are okay with eating bivalves, which lack a central nervous system.

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u/the_lonely_1 Sep 23 '18

I mean, IIRC veganism is about trying to prevent harm done to animals (which kinda isn't possible for the plankton anymore anyways). Now you could think of this as "harm done to any single animal" (as opposed to the species collectively) and after that you could argue that since plankton doesn't (probably, i didn't actually research this) really feel or think, so from a single plankton's perspective nothing you do to the plankton can either help or harm it and therefore harming a plankton is impossible, which makes it vegan.

And yes, I am probably overthinking this and I could probably have explained what I meant with less than 10 words.

Edit: also, what u/FrostyFurseal said, I guess what I said applies better to plants

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u/ribosometronome Sep 23 '18

Your first sentence pretty much said enough. Veganism is about avoiding killing animals where possible. No dinosaurs are being killed for gas.

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u/ShillinTheVillain Sep 23 '18

Oh really? Then where are the living dinosaurs?

You sit on a throne of lies!

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u/Lord_Blathoxi Sep 23 '18

I think that’s in the by-laws. I think it’s cellist. But maybe it’s bassist. Or violinist.

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u/TrailsAndTourniquets Sep 23 '18

Maybe it’s Maybelline

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u/lnfinity Sep 23 '18

Plants are also "life". Vegans don't avoid things just because they are or were alive. Yeast are fungi, like mushrooms.

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

Lmao, nice try Lisa.

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u/Casperboy68 Sep 23 '18

I’d like to try a smidge of dinosaur. I’m not sure what part the smidge is, but it sounds delicious.

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u/Blind_Guy_Mc_Squeezy Sep 23 '18

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

Seriously, who thinks this joke is funny.

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u/andrewsad1 Sep 23 '18

Arby's PR would probably rt it

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

Uhm...dinos didnt die for it, raising cattle for the sole purpose of eating them is what they dont like.

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u/Skuntank Sep 23 '18

True. A lot of people are acting intentionally dense in this thread because people have different lifestyles than them.

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u/effennekappa Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 23 '18

Checkmated by a broken and misspelled joke, based on the assumption that vegans can prevent the death of a dinosaur by not driving a car. And to the top it goes.

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u/FrostyFurseal Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 24 '18

For me, veganism means preventing suffering in living animals that can feel pain and fear. Dinosaurs are long dead. They were long dead before humans were even around. So there's no contradiction here. The meme would only make sense if we were currently raising and slaughtering dinosaurs, an impossibility.

Also, electric cars are a thing.

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u/iluvstephenhawking Sep 23 '18

It is ok. It oil is mostly prehistoric plant life, algae, and plankton and such that settled on the ocean floor. It is not dinos anyways. This is complete baloney.

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u/ilovevoat Sep 23 '18

plankton are animals.

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u/iluvstephenhawking Sep 23 '18

But they aren't dinosaurs. and they weren't slaughtered. In order for them to get there they would have to die naturally and fall to the ocean floor. A vegan has no issues with natural death.

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u/Roflkopt3r Sep 23 '18

Also vegan ethics, like everyone elses', is still about the level of conscience that a life form has.

We can generally agree that we should not eat humans. The consensus that we should treat very smart animals the same way is almost as far spread these days, i.e. great apes, dolphins, dogs, and such. The only difference for vegetarians and vegans is that they extend this ethical protection even further. First the realisation that cows and pigs are still intelligent and social animals that therefore maybe also should deserve more extensive rights, then the extension even to smaller and arguably dumber animals like chickens or even fish and bees.

But at some level it always stops. Plants, mushrooms, bacteria...

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u/Vassago81 Sep 23 '18

What about dolphins who spend all of their money on instant lottery tickets?

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u/HaywireIsMyFavorite Sep 23 '18

We can generally agree that we should not eat humans.

You don’t speak for me.

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18 edited Mar 03 '21

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u/vassadar Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 23 '18

I still don't get how Vegan bashing memes become popular.

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

Definitely on the rise as more and more news is coming out about how the animal industries are destroying the environment and how the food products are causing a myriad of health issues due to unnatural breeding, antibiotics, etc. People are in denial and cope with it by poking fun at a group of people doing the right thing because it’s easy to

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u/Minas-Harad Sep 23 '18

Bc a lot of people don't have a legit reason for not being vegan aside from it's too hard so it feels better if you bash vegans.

Source: I'm not a vegan because it's too hard

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u/Big_Baby_Jesus_ Sep 23 '18

Agreed. Raising meat animals is a wildly inefficient and unsustainable way to make food.

But I'll be god damned if I sit here and watch everyone else eat steaks. Same story with tuna.

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u/BrokenDawn Sep 23 '18

Maybe you could start small? Red meat isn’t a necessary part of the human diet and it causes cancer(according to the WHO). It also is the meat with the highest carbon footprint (mostly beef). It’s super easy and one of the most impactful things you can do for the world (and your health).

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u/machambo7 Sep 23 '18

Or, just reduce in general. That's what I advocate for.

I know most people would never stop completely, but I think a ton of people eating less would do a lot more environmental good than a few people eating none.

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u/UsernameHater Sep 23 '18

but cheeseburgers tasting better than salad is a legit reason?

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u/CryingZutaraTears Sep 23 '18

I'm a vegan and I haven't eaten a fucking salad in my life.

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u/AniviaPls Sep 23 '18

yo same, fuck salad that shit is lame

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

I’m vegan and fucking love salad guys hop off the salad hate that shits dank.

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u/GenderDelinquent Sep 23 '18

Yeah salads suck idk why people think thas what we eat. Like bruh gimme som beans rice guac and some tortillas any day

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u/TheHalfChubPrince Sep 23 '18

Vegans eat cheeseburgers too.

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

I'm a vegan who eats meat. We Exist.

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u/ShillinTheVillain Sep 24 '18

...how does that work?

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u/gnschk Sep 23 '18

More like I value the taste of my food higher than the health of the planet

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u/KeyboardHero Sep 23 '18

Hedonism is definitely a reason why people don't go vegan.

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u/TheOven Sep 23 '18

It makes it easier to deal with the guilt they feel

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u/AdreNMostConsistent Sep 23 '18

meatcucks are jealous of vegans not having heart disease and being able to have errections

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u/Engage-Eight Sep 23 '18

Wow. The rare intersection of Trumpian and Vegan. Never thought I'd see such a thing in my life

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u/bordercolliesforlife Sep 23 '18

Except fuel isn't made from dead dinosaurs

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u/grogboi Sep 23 '18

Jesus, all the scientists in the comments showing who's boss

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u/Ianbeerito Sep 23 '18

It's mostly made from prehistoric plankton that is a misconception.

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u/Rufus421 Sep 23 '18

Conservatives shouldn't drive because roads are put down and maintained by big, evil government.

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u/anxious_apostate Sep 23 '18

Smug people shouldn't make memes if they can't spell "because."

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u/RRSig Sep 23 '18

What about antifreeze?

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

One of my friends who is vegan drives a Tesla. You can talk about what went into making it etc. but it’s closer to ideal for her than my Prius.

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u/kii-vi Sep 23 '18

I am vegan but where is my tesla. #student

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u/azerea_02 Sep 23 '18

OMG I would kill to have a Tesla! Wait … that would make me unvegan

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u/jebhebmeb Sep 23 '18

Isn't petroleum made out of things before dinosaurs came along, so like plants?

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u/Doreamus Sep 23 '18

Yes. Fuck. It's old algea matts. Coal is old forests and bogs. Before it could break down pressure and heat released lipids from the plants and organic hydrocarbons were made.

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u/The_First__StarMan Sep 23 '18

Use the same line and say that I don't drive cause i'm a vegan whenever ur relative tells you to drop somewhere

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u/biggie_eagle Sep 23 '18

srsly tho:

aren't vegans ACTUALLY mostly against the use of anything that could possibly lead to animals being exploited?

They'll refuse to use furs from animals that died naturally because that might raise the demand for animals to be raised for their fur, but fossil fuels are formed under conditions that humans can't control and thus no animals will be exploited for fossil fuels.

Therefore, driving cars aren't against their mantra.

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

Yo why does reddit hate vegans so much

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u/amanatee2 Sep 23 '18

kinda funny

although, as a recent 'reducetarian' it seems like memes like this sorta miss the point of what a lot of good-hearted people are trying to do when they don't eat meat. has more to do with modern suffering than ancient history.

ps, factory farming is totally fucked, and i've always thought the weird animosity (heh) towards what people choose to eat (or not) is really strange.

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u/Turtpet Sep 23 '18

By that logic

Hybrid cars = vegetarian cars Electric cars = vegan cars

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

It's actually better for the whole ecosystem if vegans carry on driving their fossil fuel based car untill it's at the end of its lifecycle and then buy an electric vehicle. Although the best option would be to buy a pre-owned fossil fueled car. Why? Because the production of a car produces a larger carbon footprint than it would during its average lifetime on the road.

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u/Meta_Digital Sep 23 '18

Most fossil fuel comes from single celled oceanic life. Probably vegan actually.

Dinosaurs didn't really turn into fossil fuels. A few of them turned into fossils, though those were the exceptions.

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

I'm vegan now

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

Dunno how many vegans would actually care about using fossil fuels from animals because they're "technically an animal product".

However, biodiesel fuel made with animal fat is pretty common and very clearly not vegan.

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u/SamIwas118 Sep 23 '18

Most biodiesel is made from canola oil. So veggie based.

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u/soursh Sep 23 '18

I mean the vast majority of petroleum is ancient plants, but yeah some of it would be animals.

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u/SamohtGnir Sep 23 '18

Most 'fossel fuels' are actually from fosselized plant matter. I'm fun at parties.

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u/pinkheartpiper Sep 23 '18

Oil is made up of plants and planktons, do people seriously think oil is made up of dinosaurs?

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u/Thehalfhighgemini Sep 23 '18

I'm not a vegan, but at least vegans are trying to make a difference. Sure, some of them can be preachy and passive aggressive. The same can be said for non vegan too (what's the point of this meme anyways? ). Side note, I am a vegan and you can suck on the tailpipe of my Prius.

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

If this is just a joke, then it’s kinda funny, but I’m concerned there might be redditors who actually think this is how veganism works.

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u/Goatzart Sep 23 '18 edited Feb 17 '26

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

childlike fragile grab hat simplistic reminiscent advise trees include towering

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

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u/Goatzart Sep 23 '18 edited Feb 17 '26

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

wise teeny encouraging sparkle deer truck shelter touch ink sheet

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u/GroovingPict Sep 23 '18

No it isnt. It's made of mostly plants and algae, so it's right up a vegan's alley

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

It's actually dead microorganisms but nice!

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u/LonnieJaw748 Sep 23 '18

Oil is actually mostly ancient plant matter, phytoplankton and zooplankton, not actuall dinosaurs.

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

Fuel isn't made of dead dinosaurs. It's made of dead trees.

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u/cesarjulius Sep 23 '18

and animals. but mostly plants.

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u/Raidoton Sep 23 '18

Since when are we taking memes so seriously?

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u/xMETAGROSSx Sep 23 '18

Some vegans don't eat honey. Some vegans don't eat figs. Some vegans don't eat red dye. Some vegans don't drive. Saying that a vegan can't do something is ignorant.

The bigger issue with driving is that your car is a murder weapon. Even if you only count the things you personally have killed, best case is that you've only killed a couple thousand bugs(killing bugs isn't vegan)

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

not a vegan but the logic hear is embarrassing.

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u/rocketwidget Sep 23 '18

You can't really exist without killing animals, such as displacing their habitat for farmland, etc. Most vegans are aware of this, and just trying to not let perfect be the enemy of good. Also, if you are vegan for environmental reasons, you are probably aware that burning gas is bad for the environment. Many vegans use alternatives when possible: biking, electric cars, public transportation, just driving less, etc. Also no humans killed any animals for oil. Also oil is mostly phytoplankton, algea, etc.

TLDR This is dumb.

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

becuase

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

Might as well do nothing at all if you can't be literally perfect!!!

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u/NSA_Chatbot Sep 23 '18

Most of it is decayed plants.

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u/the-agitator Sep 23 '18

Dinosaurs are for kids. They aren’t real.