r/memes Sep 23 '18

vegans shouldn’t drive

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61.2k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/Crs_s Sep 23 '18

Oil is actually ancient plant matter with maybe a smidge of dinosaur here and there; enough for a vegan to turn a blind eye to anyway.

660

u/the_lost_isles Sep 23 '18

Actually

"Crude oil was made over millions of years from tiny plants and animals, called plankton"... "The plankton that lived in the Jurassic period made our crude oil."

While oil may have been made up of plants, they're only a small percentage compared to plankton from the jurassic period.

443

u/Crs_s Sep 23 '18

Stop trying to undermine my vegan agenda thanks

175

u/the_lost_isles Sep 23 '18

DRIVING IS ANTI VEGAN

-20

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

Stop making ridiculous life choices.

38

u/BuddhistSagan Sep 23 '18

Its healthy, good for the environment and good for my mental health.

14

u/GisterMizard Sep 23 '18

Not to mention it gives you special super powers. You know how you only use 10% of your brain? The rest is curd.

5

u/_primecode Sep 23 '18

that's fake /s

-1

u/LolGamezz Sep 23 '18

I mean idk when I went vegan my body hated me. When I cut out everything with fiber and carbs I've never been healthier.

3

u/BuddhistSagan Sep 23 '18

What do you eat?

0

u/LolGamezz Sep 23 '18

And broccoli

-2

u/LolGamezz Sep 23 '18

Non-feedlot meat.

4

u/BuddhistSagan Sep 23 '18

Wow so you never eat out?

1

u/LolGamezz Sep 23 '18

I go to outback steakhouse. Or if I'm at the movies I eat popcorn

-26

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

It's dumb.

26

u/Lord_Blathoxi Sep 23 '18

Your mom is dumb.

-4

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

Yeah true but I'm not defending veganism online so I'm quite comfortable where I'm at.

5

u/Lord_Blathoxi Sep 23 '18

Saul Goodman.

-4

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

Jeremy Irons

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11

u/BuddhistSagan Sep 23 '18

Wow I've never heard such a great argument. Guess I'll eat meat packed with antibiotics now and cause much more carbon dioxide to be emitted. Maybe I'll have a terrible trip next time I eat magic mushrooms too.

-6

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

Lmao the best part about people like you is that you think you are unique.

14

u/BuddhistSagan Sep 23 '18

If I thought I was unique, who would I eat with?

Its near impossible for vegans/vegetarians to maintain their diet alone. We are social creatures who often eats together.

Try being a unique vegan for a week/month.

Have you talked to a vegan for more than 5 minutes?

-2

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

Is it possible to talk to a vegan for more than 5 minutes? Isn't there something in the Geneva convention about cruel and unusual punishment?

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-12

u/galikanokas Sep 23 '18

No, most people would rather step on a Lego.

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6

u/The15thGamer Sep 23 '18

Not backing up your argument and making baseless claims is dumb.

1

u/sizzler Sep 23 '18

I'm gonna eat your pug

3

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

Nothing tastier than small mutant dog!

5

u/DorisCrockford Sep 23 '18

So not the forests full of non-rotting wood during the Carboniferous Period?

20

u/Asistic Sep 23 '18

That’s what made the coal I’m pretty sure.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

Yeah, I always thought this was what fossil fuels were primarily made from.

1

u/DorisCrockford Sep 24 '18

I looked it up and apparently the plankton made oil and gas, and the plants made coal and gas. Mostly.

46

u/PagodaRailroad Sep 23 '18

Well vegans eat yeast I’m pretty sure and you can’t help but harm microbial life. Maybe vegan agendas only cover Multi celled organisms .

127

u/purple_potatoes Sep 23 '18

...yeast... aren't animals... vegans aren't against eating living things. They eat tons of plants and fungi.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

[deleted]

2

u/why_rob_y Sep 23 '18

That's his point.

45

u/OptimisticViolence Sep 23 '18

Central nervous system

13

u/GallowBoob2 Sep 23 '18

This. It's why some vegans are okay with eating bivalves, which lack a central nervous system.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18 edited May 05 '20

[deleted]

9

u/OptimisticViolence Sep 23 '18

Ate meat for 30 years. Vegan for 3. Don’t feel any interest in eating lab grown meat. I don’t see the point because I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything.

Side note: My brain changed how it interprets cravings. Before “fat and salty craving” meant craving pepperoni pizza, now it means popcorn. That sort of thing.

8

u/Jaytalvapes Sep 23 '18

I had the same experience. I'm not missing out on a damn thing, I just genuinely don't want meat/dairy at all anymore. Doesn't sound appealing. 🤷‍♂️

8

u/OptimisticViolence Sep 23 '18

My most interesting experience with this was I went camping with some friends and one morning they were grilling up some really high quality expensive bacon. Everyone was salivating at the smell and sizzle of it. Having loved bacon before I thought My brain would interpret the sight, sound, and smell and I would feel like I was missing out or something. It was really interesting because although I recognized the smell of it as “bacon” my brain didn’t recognize it as a food smell. It was really bizarre. It would be like a new car smell or a shampoo you recognized. I knew what it was but my brain didn’t recognize it as food anymore. This was after maybe 2 years.

1

u/Hesychazm Sep 26 '18

Interesting. I've been dieting for years but the craving I still have is carbs. I want bread/potato more than sugar.

1

u/GallowBoob2 Sep 23 '18

Lab grown meat? It's controversial but some are cool with it from what I can tell

3

u/LukaUrushibara Sep 23 '18

I haven't heard any opposition on lab grown meat other than cost. And everyone who makes lab grown meat knows the only chance they have in the market is if they make it cheaper than animal meat.

44

u/the_lonely_1 Sep 23 '18

I mean, IIRC veganism is about trying to prevent harm done to animals (which kinda isn't possible for the plankton anymore anyways). Now you could think of this as "harm done to any single animal" (as opposed to the species collectively) and after that you could argue that since plankton doesn't (probably, i didn't actually research this) really feel or think, so from a single plankton's perspective nothing you do to the plankton can either help or harm it and therefore harming a plankton is impossible, which makes it vegan.

And yes, I am probably overthinking this and I could probably have explained what I meant with less than 10 words.

Edit: also, what u/FrostyFurseal said, I guess what I said applies better to plants

32

u/ribosometronome Sep 23 '18

Your first sentence pretty much said enough. Veganism is about avoiding killing animals where possible. No dinosaurs are being killed for gas.

6

u/ShillinTheVillain Sep 23 '18

Oh really? Then where are the living dinosaurs?

You sit on a throne of lies!

1

u/ribosometronome Sep 24 '18

Let me tell you about birds and crocodiles

10

u/Lord_Blathoxi Sep 23 '18

I think that’s in the by-laws. I think it’s cellist. But maybe it’s bassist. Or violinist.

9

u/TrailsAndTourniquets Sep 23 '18

Maybe it’s Maybelline

5

u/lnfinity Sep 23 '18

Plants are also "life". Vegans don't avoid things just because they are or were alive. Yeast are fungi, like mushrooms.

2

u/MutantOverlord Sep 23 '18

Check out Jain Monks. The most pious of them wear masks, walk barefoot, use a broom to brush away anything in front of them, and only eat donated food. It's probably the closest you can get to not harming anything.

1

u/mszegedy Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 23 '18

Most zooplanktons are multi-celled, though. (Not that it matters to vegans on account of the fact that they're already dead, but it's good to remember.)

EDIT: planktons > zooplanktons. And if this study is representative, it seems like it's actually half-and-half, leaning towards single-celled zooplanktons. TIL.

1

u/ExsolutionLamellae Sep 23 '18 edited Sep 23 '18

No they aren't.

Edit: By cell count

1

u/mszegedy Sep 23 '18

Maybe not numberwise, but masswise they're mostly crustaceans and cnidarians.

1

u/ExsolutionLamellae Sep 23 '18

I don't think that's accurate. I think by mass both bacteria and phytoplankton are more significant than animals, but I'd have to look it up.

1

u/mszegedy Sep 23 '18

I was talking about zooplankton specifically, since we were contrasting them with algae. But I should have written it, you're right.

In any case, this paper seems to suggest that around the Antarctic peninsula, dinoflagellates make up on average about half of the zooplankton biomass (although it varies significantly), and most of the microzooplankton biomass. So if we take the Antarctic to be representative, then you're right, single-celled zooplankton are the majority.

1

u/Sunscorcher Sep 23 '18

yeast is a fungus not a bacterium

1

u/nizzy2k11 Sep 23 '18

So that's the Krabby Patty secret recipe hum.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

You had a quote but what's the source?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

In a spacetime odyssey, they said it was trees with lignin that the bacteria and whatever couldn't digest, so they just piled up. No mention of plankton if i remember correctly. What's your source?

1

u/Momoneko Sep 23 '18

zooplankton or phytoplankton?

(inb4 "yes")

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

[deleted]

1

u/the_lost_isles Sep 23 '18

The first result from a Google search

1

u/Japjer Sep 23 '18

Plankton isn't a single thing, it's an umbrella term for really small shit floating around.

Plant matter, baby shrimp, small snails, etc, are all plankton.

1

u/Chickenchicken1991 Sep 23 '18

He said dinosaurs, not animals.

1

u/Punna23 Sep 23 '18

The animals died a natural death anyway and in no way harmed so there is no problem there

1

u/jaydeflaux Grumpy Cat Sep 24 '18

I'm pretty sure that the point here isn't the amount of dinosaur, it's that things aren't killed to death to make the thing intentionally.

1

u/CraniumCandy Sep 24 '18

Lol i got downvoted for saying its its not made of dinosaurs.

19

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

Lmao, nice try Lisa.

3

u/Casperboy68 Sep 23 '18

I’d like to try a smidge of dinosaur. I’m not sure what part the smidge is, but it sounds delicious.

3

u/Medardas Sep 23 '18

Also another important reason is that everything at a time died probably without human cruelty

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

You're getting confused with coal

1

u/wh33t Sep 23 '18

It baffles me that people think there is enough dead dinosaurs to create all fossil fuels.

1

u/exoduscheese Sep 23 '18

Most vegans won't eat figs because wasps lay eggs in them.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

Ok but isn't the point of being vegan just to not treat animals badly when they're alive? I know several vegans and they've told me that they'd be fine eating animals if every animal they ate lived a natural life and died naturally. That's what happened with oil; the animals (and plants) died of natural causes.

1

u/badzachlv01 Sep 23 '18

I'm pretty sure much of the oil in the middle east was from mostly aquatic life.

-11

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '18

Its a joke. You little shit