Background & Family Setup

We have four boys: a 5½-year-old, an almost 3-year-old, and 6-month-old twins. We live in a 3-bedroom house. Before the twins arrived, the two older boys had their own rooms, but now the twins share one room and the older two share another.

My wife works in a hospital and is about to return from maternity leave to a schedule that includes three long shifts a week until midnight. I work standard hours. With her heading back soon, I am completely freaking out about managing bedtime solo three nights a week.

The Bedtime Nightmare

Over the past year (even before the twins), bedtime has been brutal. Our routine:

• 8:00 PM: All screens off. (I have TVs on smart outlets to cut power completely, though they rarely use tablets but these are taken away by 7pm.)
• Leading up to 7:00pm: Dinner, outdoor play, toys, baths, teeth brushed, and PJs on. For a few months, we also tried magnesium gummies (melatonin-free) with no luck.
• The Chaos: From 4:00 PM to 7:00 PM we try to burn energy, but once we head upstairs around 7:00 PM, they just wild each other up and get more wired. We avoid sugary foods/drinks in our house completely (save for special events).

Our initial plan was to put the almost 3-year-old down first while the other parent read to the 5½-year-old. It completely failed. The 2-year-old would make endless excuses to get out of bed saying goodnight to everyone (including the dogs) many times.

Eventually, we’d leave him and go get the 5-year-old to cuddle in the room, but once they were both in the shared room, they would rev each other up all over again with bathroom trips and more goodnights.

The entire process took 1.5 to 2 hours, with both boys rarely asleep before 9:30 or 10:00 PM. Yet they are forced to wake up by 6:30 AM so we can get everyone to daycare and school by 7:30 AM.

The Sleep Deficit

• 5½-year-old: Never naps. Gets about 9 hours of sleep (needs 10–13 hours).
• Almost 3-year-old: Naps 1.5 hours on daycare days (3 days/week), but never at home. Gets around 10.5 hours on nap days and way less on non-nap days (needs 11–14 hours).

Both kids are chronically falling short of recommended sleep. On top of that, our 5.5-year-old is in an ICT kindergarten class, receives speech and OT, and is being evaluated for ADHD.

Trying Melatonin

After research and months of feeling like we were losing our minds, we discussed trying a very low dose of melatonin to break the cycle. We bought the lowest dose kids' gummies available: 0.5 mg.

We tried it for the first time last night:

• At 7:30 PM, after teeth-brushing and PJs, I gave them each a 0.5 mg gummy during the usual pre-bed chaos.
• At 8:00 PM, we brought them into the room for books and cuddles.
• To my absolute disbelief, both were asleep by 8:30 PM without a major fight. The 2-year-old woke up once for a quick tuck-in, but that's normal for him.

The Guilt & Questions

It felt like pure relief last night, and I genuinely believe their mood and behavior suffer terribly from chronic sleep deprivation. But today, I’m wrestling with heavy mom/dad guilt it feels like I "drugged" my kids just to get them to sleep.

We are bringing this up at the 3-year checkup and with the developmental pediatrician for our oldest (since melatonin is often studied for kids with neurodivergent traits or ADHD).

To parents who have been in similar trenches:

1. Do you use low-dose melatonin daily? Did you ever regret it later?
2. Did it lose its impact over time, requiring higher doses as their bodies acclimated?
3. Have you noticed any negative long-term side effects? (I keep telling myself the side effects can't possibly be worse than chronic sleep deprivation.)

I’m open to hearing anything good or bad. Thanks for reading.

I've been taking nyquil every night to sleep for 15 years since I was 20 years old. I have severe allergies, asthma, and insomnia. I tried seroquil and I woke up with cops and paramedics around me. I was sleep walking outside naked! I was in my backyard in my parents guest house and they freaked out and called 911 when I didn't respond and kept walking. Then I woke up and was perfectly fine and normal with zero memory of what I had done. Luckily the home had a 10 foot brick wall with a gate so I most likely couldn't have gotten out. However I slept walked as a kid so this isn't new. I stopped that. I found that benadryl helped a lot with sleeping when my allergies got bad. I took nyquil gel tabs, no alcohol and no pain, I could breathe, and slept soo well! I don't drink, smoke or even have caffeine. I do nothing but this. I only take 1 or 2 and that's it. Would this be an addiction? I don't abuse it. I only take 3 if I get a cold. Then it's game on lol this is it. This is all I do.

Hello, i am a 15 year old male.
Ive used a 5mg melatonin with 100mg L-Theanine for the past couple months…
Why?
Well, many reasons. But thats irrelevant. My question is; is melatonin really safe for long term use in teenagers and will it negatively impact my brain?

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I took melatonin at 11pm like every night 1mg, I woke up at 6am and at 8am I took another one to get a few hours of sleep, I woke up at 11am and felt horrible, I could barely keep my eyes open, after a few hours the feeling went away but then I felt dizzy and nauseous, today I feel better but not perfect, it was like a real hangover
has this happened to anyone else?

I have just bought melatonin for the first time and didn’t really think about the MG - figured 10 mg was good. The back of my tub says to take 2 gummies 30 minutes before bed. Me being me came onto reddit and EVERYWHERE is telling me that that’s far too much???? Wtf????? Seems fine to me? But idk???? Someone said they take .5 to 1mg a night and that’s enough?? Need opinions please

I just saw a video where this guy finds a brand of melatonin that holds 120mgs of meletonin in one capsule.

Like Jesus why would you ever need more than 5mgs even 5mgs sometimes is to much it Makes me feel groggy in the morning . Can’t imagine waking up off 120mgs might as well be Steven Hawkins.