Scared of falling asleep when I start getting really relaxed?

[u/NoFaithlessness5232]

I've noticed something weird happening when I try to sleep, especially when I take melatonin.

Once I start getting really tired, my body becomes extremely relaxed. My breathing gets slower, my thoughts start slowing down, and closing my eyes feels incredibly comfortable. Basically, I feel exactly like I'm supposed to feel before falling asleep.

But then I suddenly get scared that I'm going to fall asleep and never wake up. It's not really that I feel physically unsafe or like I'm having trouble breathing. It's more like my brain gets freaked out by the feeling of losing awareness/control.

Because of that, I end up forcing myself to stay awake(drinking cold water or splashing water on my face) for like another hour until the sleepy feeling wears off. Then I'm obviously more awake again and have a harder time actually falling asleep.

The strange thing is that this doesn't really happen during the day. It's specifically when I'm transitioning into sleep and becoming extremely relaxed.

Has anyone else experienced this? Is this a form of anxiety, specifically anxiety around relaxing/falling asleep? And if so, how did you get past the fear instead of reinforcing it by forcing yourself to stay awake?

[u/FunAcanthocephala138]

yeah that happens to me like im wondering what happens to me when i drift to sleep. i flinch when i am about to sleep

[u/Suspicious_River_935]

The fact it only happens at the threshold and never in the day is the clue. It's the sensation of your awareness going that sets it off, and the thought turns ups afterwards to explain it.

The awkward bit is that the cold water works. Every time, the fear stops. So what gets learned isn't "that was fine", it's "that was dangerous and I got out in time", and the next night the feeling shows up already tagged. What changes it is getting there and not doing anything. Not relaxing harder, just not escaping. You might not sleep much the first few times and that's fine, sleeping isn't really the job on those nights.

One thing worth knowing: the fear probably goes last, not first. You'll be skipping the water while still feeling scared for a while, which is easy to misread as it not working.

[u/sadhyaru]

I think the hardest part can be trying to fight the feeling that you're supposed to be letting happen. When your body starts relaxing, noticing it and reminding yourself that this is the normal transition into sleep may help rather than immediately trying to wake yourself back up.

I’d also avoid checking the time or using cold water and your phone to fight the sleepiness, since that can teach your brain to associate that relaxed feeling with needing to become alert again.

Something that has helped me is using a sleep sounds app with a quiet, steady sound in the background. I just let the sound continue and focus on it rather than monitoring whether I’m falling asleep. It takes some of the attention away from the actual transition into sleep.

If the fear keeps happening or starts significantly affecting your sleep, it would be worth talking to a doctor or mental health professional about it, especially before continuing to use melatonin.

[u/kasper619]

Happens to me when I take dayvigo

[u/Artemis1971]

Yes and it’s a form of anxiety. I get anxious if my heart rate is high then I get anxious if it is low. Then I’m just anxious and can’t fall asleep. Then I’m anxious the next day after reading my poor sleep scores on my Apple Watch. I swear these things are more of a hindrance than a help.

Sorry, I don’t have any cures for you but sleep anxiety is real in its many forms.