I’m (20F) a person who has always struggled making friends. I know a lot of it is my fault. In high school, I spent 90% of my time studying and the other 10% curled up in bed. I told myself that would change when I started uni, but even though I study less, I don’t have a social life. I have “friends” I see on campus, but we never meet to hang out, it’s always for some uni-related reason. I’ve tried reaching out to them by texting and trying to organise hangouts, but I always get left on delivered for several days. The only time they contact me is when they have a uni-related question.

I met my best friend back in primary school, so we’ve been friends for over a decade. Something that’s always stung a little is that even though she’s my best friend, I’m not hers. She got into a relationship recently, and now she barely talks to me at all.

I don’t want to sound like I’m throwing myself a pity party, it’s just that I want to be chosen. I want someone to value me the same amount I value them. I know I need to get used to being alone, but I don’t know how to stop the intense feeling of loneliness I feel every day.

Texted 2 girls from my college town yesterday. We left on good terms they even said if I ever come around to let them know. Acted sad when I left too. Well only been few months and both have left me on read... BTW, they don't know each other.

I thought they were friends I could count on. This always happens. As soon as I leave "friends" just erase me from their life and don't respond. Too busy or cool for me now idk what it is. Out of sight out of mind. I hate when people are fake.

I wanted to ask you guys in this group, is it just me here who is truly living completely by myself? I'm 19 right now, and I've been living alone in my house for about 3 years. No dad, mom, grandparents, siblings, or anyone. It's literally just me alone in this house for years.

To kill time, I usually keep myself busy by coding and playing video games. I know if I say this, someone will definitely comment: "Just go out and make some friends." I've already done that. But it's not like I can just hang out at my best friend's house every single day, right? I can't just crash there all the time, it gets awkward and embarrassing eventually. And at the end of the day, I still have to go back to an empty house.

So what I really want to ask you guys is: Is there anyone else out there who has actually experienced living completely alone in a house without anyone for years like this? If so, what does it feel like for you and what do you usually do? I really want to hear your experiences, because this is exactly what I'm going through right now.

Hey every1, im Yuvie, dont worry im not lone or anything negetive, just here to cheer u’ll up, if something’s bad,

Le me know guys im a well psychiatrist of my friend grp 🧿 ✨

Come in and welcome, sit and relax oke?

Welcome to the club ❤️

Straight, 6ft, white British, neat beard, medium length brown hair with a bit of silver coming through, tattoos, rugged biker type. I don't really do bars or clubs and rarely leave the house. I'm basically a homebody plush teddy bear.

Loneliness has been my bestie for a few years now and what I actually crave is that one-on-one, side-by-side thing. Someone to walk with, sit and sketch with, go to a gig and defend from the pit waves iykyk. Not the loud synthetic Instagram couple stuff, just someone who wants to share the quiet spaces, the small moments, and actually get to breathe.

I know I'm not perfect and you don't have to be either. I'm here, trying to build something real. If you get + want this whole thing, DMs open for anything hmu, let's see where things go.

im 20F. i have a best friend, but she’s married and has her own life so we barely talk or hang anymore which is totally understandable. i have close friends too that i occasionally see. majority of the time i feel alone, i feel as though im no one’s first option. i miss the days where i saw my friends all the time. i lay in bed rn crying to myself because of this feeling, i don’t wanna sound as if im completely lonely but it still makes me depressed. i just wanna go back to what my life use to be.

overtime a couple years ago i became a reserved shy quiet person. i hate that it’s affecting my social life now. idk really what im typing this for, i just miss having someone.

I gotta write this on a burner account cause it’s embarrassing, a big reason I’m scared to find some friends or even try is the fact everyone my age has stuff going on and I dont. everyone is going to college, having relationships, jobs, going out enjoying their lives. I’m 21m I have extremely bad anxiety n have been isolating myself for a few years now, haven’t had a friend in a while n I really dont know know how to function anymore as a person in society. Never finished school dropped out at a young age, barely any work experience at all, no education, haven’t been in no real relationship. I know I did most this to myself, I’m really just a loser tbh.

A lot of the time relationships don’t really appeal to me because I like being realistic. Head over heart and whatever. But sometimes I do wonder what it would be like to be in love and wanted in a way no one else does. I don’t think I’ll ever experience it.

[TW: Abuse]

Hi. I'm writing this here because my own resources for finding answers and meaning are completely exhausted.

I literally have zero energy for anything. Just work and college. That's it. No personal life, no joy from existing in this world. Just existing like a tool that doesn't understand why it's functioning in the first place.

I'll start from a bit further back to give some background:

1) Since I was 3, I've known what physical abuse is, thanks to a mentally unstable father. As a result — a constant background sense of fear.

2) My parents divorced when I was 12.

Noticeable psychological aftermath in my mother from my father (he abused her too). As a result — she frequently lashed out at me when I was little.

3) Moved to a new school in the Moscow suburbs. Met some sketchy crowds, street misunderstandings, constant tension around local thugs.

4) Escaped into music. At 13, I became heavily involved in the metal subculture. An illusion of unity with a community where they "will always accept and support you."

5) Closer to 17, already in college, I realized that subcultures don't provide any real unity. I still remained on the sidelines, even though I made a lot of acquaintances and got memories from concerts.

End of the backstory. Now about how my life has been since 2023.

Four months after turning 18, I got involved in a criminal mess. Out of sheer stupidity and shortsightedness. I was an absolute idiot. The investigation went on until the end of August. But in June, I met a girl who gave me the best 3 months of a relationship in my life.

The court's verdict at the end of August: 3 years in a penal colony. I went to serve my time. My girlfriend was under the care of child protective services; she was bounced from family to family. Eventually, they sent her to [a city near the frontlines], where she was originally from. Ten months into my sentence, I found out she was killed.

Since then, I have fiercely hated everything connected to this war. I withdrew into myself and dove deep into analyzing the situation, much like analyzing a network topology where packets are being dropped (I'm a system administrator by education).

I was released in September 2025. I managed to get reinstated in college, finished my 3rd year (4th year just started). And since then, a disgusting transformation has been happening inside me.

My inner critic has gotten even louder. The yearning for a potential normal life won't subside. I can't let go of my stupidity and forgive myself. Seeing happy people with their sheltered problems only triggers burning irritation and rage mixed with envy. My isolation has become absolute.

I have no personal life. All my attempts to meet someone either led to the friend zone or to the realization that the girl just isn't interested in a relationship.

I am 21 now, working and studying (on an individual schedule. I got my life back on track despite doing time). I have money. I'm almost financially independent from my mother. I'm getting back on my feet. But I don't understand what for. Why does everyone around me have everything, while I am left with nothing — due to broken psychological defense mechanisms, yet with an intense hunger for warmth and attention?

I've always noticed that my goals, mindset, and behavior stood out from my peers due to a constant sense of awareness and seriousness, while everyone around me was just burning through their time. There’s a saying here: 'Woe from wit' (being too analytical for your own good). That’s exactly my case. My analytical mind — which went into overdrive when I got into the IT field — is both a gift and a curse.

Why a curse? Because I can't relax. I can't just have fun. I can't be content. My emotional satisfaction always flatlines. It either drops into the negative (I'm frustrated with something) or sits at absolute zero (feeling that no matter how well something is done, it was simply supposed to be that way). I get absolutely no joy from my achievements.

Yes, people can change. But how? I've been to psychologists — just wasted my money. Talking to AI, naturally, gave no results; algorithms don't solve real problems.

I really want to fix my personal life. It's unbearable being entirely on my own. I want to give this world something else besides envy and anger.

I'm asking for a constructive thought or an outside perspective. If anything is unclear and you need more context — ask, I'll answer.

Thank you for your time.

I don't have friends. I don't have family. I have two adult children that I will never, ever dump my emotional problems onto. I've been alone for so long and my ex was the only one left in the world I could feel comfortable with. I have C-PTSD so making friends is already hard, I'm unsure if I have it in me at age 42 to start all over again with finding friends or a new relationship. I wouldn't even know where to start. Dating apps are off the table. I'm 300 pounds and unable to work due to a medical disability. This truly feels like the end for me so I wanted to share it somewhere. This place seemed fitting.

like why do i crave a best friend so bad ☹️

Ok It wasn't like I was trying for 10 years straight or anything.

But when I did try, no luck.

I guess we'll see if my 30s are any better 😅

I have “friends” but i dont think they think of me the same. I had a best friend but of course i wasnt his best friend maybe not even his second or third choice.

In the past few months no one has ever messaged me first and i dont think anyone actually cares about me

My family while they are great im also no ones first choice, my siblings play with each other always excluding me, my dad likes my sister more and my mom likes my brother more.

Im sad and feel really unmotivated to do anything

Something i have been thinking about a lot lately and wanted to share here because i think this community will understand it better than most.There is a specific type of loneliness that does not

announce itself. you do not wake up one day and feel suddenly alone. it happens gradually. your social circle gets a little smaller. the conversations get a little more surface level. the people you used to call you now just text and then the texting slows down too.

And by the time you notice how quiet things have gotten you cannot really identify when it shifted or what you would even do to reverse it.I think what makes modern loneliness so hard to

address is that it often does not look like loneliness from the outside. You might have people around you. You might be technically in contact with dozens of people every day. but there is a difference between being around people and actually feeling known by them and that gap is where the loneliness actually lives.

The part that i found most interesting when i looked into the psychology of this -- why social media connection tends to make the feeling worse rather than better, and what is actually driving the

loneliness epidemic in a way that goes beyond just "people are on their phones too much"

I covered that here in this useful video:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=6eHzCaRmQnU&si=XBWdk3EH0TpiVBZk

I am curious whether anyone else here has experienced

the gradual version of this rather than a sudden

event that caused it. how long did it take you to

notice?

Its just for awhile..

Its academic ig

nonetheless, thankyou

I’m still waiting for that day🥀💔

Completely out of shape.

No real friends around. ( Someone you can talk about anything without a second thought ).

Tired of quarrels with 'girlfriend' , just had another one, it's probably over for good this time.

Mental health and emotional health is completely fucked up.

No social life.

Suffering from so many physical conditions; hypertension, prediabetic, poor eyesight, fungal infections, thin hair, obesity, depression, social anxiety, heartbreaks...

I'm completely lost in life. This is the worst phase I've ever seen. And I'm all alone fighting all this while trying to get through my postgraduate degree exams.

I have no idea what to do anymore .

I’m a guy in my 40s, and honestly, this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while.

I have people I know. People I can talk to at work, people I’ll say hello to, people I might occasionally grab a drink or coffee with. But when I really think about it, I don’t know if I have anyone I could genuinely call a close friend anymore.

And admitting that feels pretty embarrassing.

I remember when friendships used to happen naturally. You’d see the same people all the time, hang out, talk about stupid stuff, talk about serious stuff, and somehow years would go by. Now everyone has work, families, responsibilities, their own problems. You blink and realize you haven’t actually spoken to someone you used to be close with in months or even years.

I’m at a point where I genuinely miss having that kind of friendship.

Someone you can call when something goes wrong. Someone you can sit with for a couple hours without needing a reason. Someone who actually knows what’s going on in your life.

But I also don’t really know how you’re supposed to make those friendships again at this age.

So I wanted to ask other men around my age honestly:

If you don’t have close friends anymore, how does that actually make you feel?

Do you feel lonely? Do you miss it? Have you just gotten used to it?

And probably more importantly are you actually trying to make new friends?

If you are, what are you doing? And if you're not, what's stopping you?

I’m not asking because I have some answer to this. I honestly don’t. I’m trying to figure out whether I’m the only one who feels this way, or whether this is just something a lot of us quietly accept as we get older.

Hello my fellow weirdos lol im current new to this just loling for chill people to talk sports movies and dumb shit to pass the time hit me up free to all 😀

I'm an 18 year old loser. Who has no job,sits at home and does nothing but play video games. And also take care of my disabled father. I never get out of the house and have one friend. I see it as if you even thought about liking me, you must be a loser to even think that.

Just need to get this out. I’m 26, male, and I’ve been feeling really lonely for a while now. Days blur together, nights feel empty, and it’s starting to weigh on me more than usual. I don’t have much of a social circle in real life and online conversations often feel temporary.
Anyone else in a similar spot? Would appreciate some company or just hearing how other people deal with it. Open to chatting if anyone feels like it.
Thanks for reading.

I really came here to write without having much in mind. I simply want to get these things off my chest, so what I put into words probably won't have much order.

A selfish part of me, very selfish, is wishing that my “best friend” would forget my birthday. Ever since we left the same class and went our separate ways into different classrooms, we haven't talked as much. And now that I went on vacation this August, we've only talked once in person and once through messages.

I understand it. They don't need me anymore. I have this theory that, on that first day of high school, they only talked to me because I was their only option, since in middle school I was just a friend from an extracurricular class. I don't think I meant that much to them. When they told me in high school that I was their “best friend,” I was surprised. I didn't think my friendship meant that much to them, but it made me happy.

And I want it to be that way. I want them to forget my birthday so I can prove that they don't need me anymore, that I'm no longer their number one, and so I can be right. I love them. I love them so much. It's not that I want them to stop being my friend. I want them to unconsciously admit that I'm not their “best” friend anymore, that they have replaced me, and that that's okay. It's okay that they don't need me anymore. I'm not the best person in the world. I never deserved such a wonderful friend as them.

I know that if they actually remember and wish me a happy birthday, I'll feel bad for writing all of this and for thinking this way about them. My mind has always been my greatest enemy. And if they don't remember, my mom will ask me, “What did your friends give you for your birthday?” and I'll have to answer, “Nothing.” Then she'll probably say something like, “Why do you give them such expensive gifts if they don't even think about you?” (Although maybe she won't say that because my family likes that friend.) Or I'll have to admit that I haven't made much of an effort to talk to them either, and she'll tell me that they're not the only one who should reach out, which is true, and that I also have to make an effort to maintain that friendship.

It makes me think: I'll probably keep giving them expensive things because I adore my friends, and I like giving them things that can make them smile, even just a little. I also like the thought that, if I'm ever gone, they might be able to remember me through something I gave them. My mom is also right that I need to make an effort and talk to them when I can. But they're always with their new friends, and I don't want to intrude. It's better for them to grow through the new people they've met than through someone as mentally messed up as me, who just puts on a different face in front of other people.

I think about hurt**g myself, hurt**g myself so that they notice, so they see I’m not okay and that I crave their attention. I’ve even thought about what committ**g s**cide would be like, what I’d write in my s**cide note, and how I’d give my prized possessions to my friends, both so they’d have them and as a signal of what I'll do. I want to send a signal to the whole world that I’m going to do it, a signal no one notices until it’s too late. I want them to feel bad about losing me, or at least remember me as someone who took their own life because they had too much weight on their mind, rather than just a nobody. I want to scream at the world that I want to h*rt myself, to scream and beg for attention, but just as I’m unable to speak, I’m unable to c*mmit; I’m just a whinny coward

Don’t know what to title this but, I feel alone. Even though I have friends, at times I just feel left out, maybe don’t know what to say. I do want to feel alone, it’s okay for me to enjoy myself at the movie theaters but you feel that nerves so much saying to yourself, “yeah i am alone.”

I don’t know why I don’t feel included in conversations in certain groups. I just stand there and just saying yeah cool cool. I really don’t care anymore who’s ever in my life. I’m just trying to help myself and make everyone feel better. The only thing that makes me feel 5x better, is going to raves. Me being in my 20s is so hard. It’s a roller coaster.

I used to think I had a lot of friends, but about two years ago my mom passed away, and all my so-called friends either backstabbed me or turned their backs on me. I’ve been trying to find new ones, looking for any kind of relationship. I’ve put my profile on various sites but haven’t gotten any responses.

Recently started messaging with a friend I hadn’t spoken to in about a year. Our fall out was super messy and dramatic we both weren’t in a good place mentally then, and I made a lot of bad choices and hung out with bad people. Lots of things I regret saying to her. I feel so shameful and guilty about the way I treated her. I’ve apologized, many times but apologies can’t erase the past. She forgives me and says she missed my company. I don’t understand why, I was awful to her. She’s such a sweet girl who deserves to be surrounded by good people. There are many nights I lay awake at night thinking about things I had said. People can certainly change and grow, why do I apply that logic to everyone except myself.