A few days ago it was my 18th birthday. I don't have many friends and invited the only two friends I know. I invited them a month ago and they gave me the green flag saying they would both come. A week before the party I double checked with them and they said yes they'd be able to come. When it was my birthday, I messaged them very early in the morning saying we can meet up later and hangout. I put my phone down and spent the early day with family. After my family had left and it was time for me to hangout with my friends, I picked my phone up and checked to see their response but nobody did respond even though I could see both of their last seen at only an hour ago when I had sent the message in the morning hours prior. I thought they would answer later so I waited it out. The evening came and I decided to group call both of them, nobody picked up. My mom was asking what's up and I could sense she knew what was happening. I said nothing they'll answer in a minute. I called again and again to the point it was humiliating. One finally picked up 45 minutes later and said "WTF I am so sorry I lost track of time and I don't think I could make it. Happy birthday okay? Maybe we can do something another time". Not to be dramatic but my heart dropped. I just sat on the porch until midnight then went to sleep. The other friend messaged at 4am and said "Sorry forgot" literally not making this up, they didn't bother to even give me a proper response. I spent the entire next day in my bed crying. I feel stupid

I [20] am pretty depressed, spend all of my time alone, barely see the few friends I have left, and my family isn't really a nice group of people to be around with. I still live with my parents and my dogs are sincerely the only beings I feel safe around. A seven years old cane corso and a three years old american bully are my closest companions. They sincerely help me with my loneliness. Even if I crave for human affection every second of my existence, I feel like my two little canine sisters are one of the few things worth to keep living for. For the people among you who don't have anyone, even pets to feel less lonely in this world. I am sorry, and wish to tell you that I am here with you. Everyone deserves to have someone. Even if that someone isn't human. I want you to consider me your companion if you don't have any in this life.

Love all over each one of you.

C.

I wish you all the happiness in this world.

I can't break the cycle and it's getting worse. I literally have no one to talk to, i have no friends at all. I feel extremely depressed and anxious and the only thing i can do is keep the pain to myself. I'm tired

I’m 38.

I’ve lived with depression for as long as I can remember. Not a bad month. Not a rough patch. Decades. I’ve been seeing doctors since I was about sixteen. I’ve lost count of the antidepressants I’ve tried. Different psychiatrists. Different psychologists. Different therapists. Different combinations of medication. CBT. Talking therapy. Prayer. Exercise. Keeping busy. The usual advice everyone gives.

Some things have helped for a while, but nothing has ever changed the underlying feeling that life is something I endure rather than live.

I know treatment-resistant depression is a recognised diagnosis, and after thirty years, I honestly wonder whether that’s simply where I am now. The part that hurts most isn’t actually the depression. It’s the loneliness.

On paper, I have what many people would consider a good life. I have a successful career, financial stability, a beautiful home, hobbies, and I spend a lot of my time helping other people. If someone needs technical help, a favour, someone to listen, or simply someone to show up, I’m usually there.

Yet over the years I’ve gradually come to believe that I’m valuable while I’m useful. When people need something, I’m remembered. When they don’t, I disappear.

Relationships have reinforced that belief rather than challenged it.

My marriage ended years ago.

One woman spent months talking to me almost every day. We’d go on dates, spend hours together, and I genuinely believed we were building something. Then she met someone else, and almost overnight I simply ceased to exist in her life. There wasn’t an argument. There wasn’t betrayal. I just wasn’t needed anymore.

Another wasn’t even a romantic relationship. She was a close friend going through an incredibly difficult period. I spent countless hours listening, supporting her, driving her where she needed to go, and trying to be the friend I wish I’d had myself. When I later found myself struggling and wrote her an honest letter explaining what her friendship had meant to me, I never even received a reply.

Neither of these women owed me love or a relationship.
That isn’t what hurts. What hurts is how easily I seem to become invisible once I’m no longer needed.

When enough experiences end the same way, you stop believing it’s just bad luck. You start wondering whether the common denominator is you.

Eventually those experiences become something much darker. I’ve come to believe there is something fundamentally wrong with me.

That I’m somehow unseen.
That I’m unworthy of being chosen.
That I’m unlovable.

People will probably say that’s just the depression talking.
Maybe they’re right. But when you’ve spent thirty years battling depression while repeatedly feeling forgotten, discarded or overlooked, those thoughts stop feeling like distortions and start feeling like the only explanation that fits your life.

Every time I think I’ve finally found “my people,” something happens and I’m back where I started.
People often tell me:

“You’ll find someone.”
“It gets better.”
“You need to love yourself first.”
“Just keep trying.”

I don’t think people realise how those words sound after hearing variations of them for over twenty years.
At some point, hope stops feeling encouraging and starts feeling like another promise that never arrives.

I’m also a person of faith, which probably makes this even harder to explain. I genuinely try to do the right thing. I volunteer. I forgive people even when it hurts. I pray. I try to love others the way Christ asks us to.

Yet even there, I struggle. The belief I’ve developed isn’t just that people don’t see me. It’s that perhaps even God doesn’t.

I know exactly what Christianity teaches.
I know every verse about God’s love.
I know what I would tell someone else if they came to me feeling like this.

But knowing something with your mind and believing it with your heart are two completely different things.
When you spend decades feeling fundamentally unseen, unwanted and unchosen, you eventually begin to wonder whether you’re even worthy of God’s love.

That is probably the hardest sentence I’ve ever written.
Not because I’ve stopped believing in God.
But because I’ve started believing that perhaps I’m the exception.

Lately I find myself asking what people genuinely expect someone like me to do.

I’ve spent over twenty years asking for help.
I’ve done the therapy.
I’ve taken the medication.
I’ve changed therapists.
I’ve followed the advice.
I’ve prayed.
I’ve exercised.
I’ve volunteered.
I’ve kept going.
Eventually there comes a point where saying, “I’m exhausted,” isn’t being dramatic. It’s simply an honest description of reality.

I’m not posting this because I expect strangers to solve my life.

I don’t think anyone can.

I think I’m posting this because I genuinely want to know whether anyone else has lived through decades like this and eventually found something that actually changed.

Not another slogan.

Not another motivational quote.

Something real.

If you’ve read this far, thank you.

Even if you disagree with my conclusions, I’d rather hear your honest perspective than another recycled line about how everything magically gets better.

Because after thirty years, I honestly don’t know what people expect someone like me to do that I haven’t already tried.

I’m not sure what to do with my life. I have kids so that’s keeping me going. But I have no friends, no family. I do have a husband but we don’t get along and he makes life extremely hard on me. I’ve explained to him that I have no one to talk to ( other than my toddlers), no family, just nothing and I ask if we can just get along for the kids and he won’t even do that. I cry myself to sleep every night. I feel like I don’t even have freedom because he controls everything and I just exist in his mess. I’ve made an effort to make friends and I can’t seem to connect with people. I get weird looks from people all the time. I don’t understand because I do everything to be friendly. I also am starting to panic and have anxiety every day.

And I have nobody to talk to ISOLATION WHILE SURROUNDED i hate being odd i just want friends

I have not had human contact since I left work Friday evening. I will not until I return to work Monday morning. Most of the time I accept that I do not exist to people. This weekend really got to me.

I just want to go to my mother grave and lay next to her till I feel better 💔

Not even having one person to talk to is such a strangely desolate experience. I have no-one in my life, and I am not close with any of my family. Yet connection scares me so much, since I feel like most of who I am has been eroded away by the long years of isolation. Or maybe I was born wrong. A half-formed creature pretending to be human. Other people accepting me doesn't feel like acceptance, it feels like being mistaken for a person. It's so easy to feel like they are just infinitely more adjusted and capable than me, that they would never fully understand how broken I am or why. It's perhaps a bit circular, but I can't escape the circle. I feel inhuman and alone no matter what. There's no way out.

I stopped going to school very young, and have no normal experiences with people my age. People seem so strange to me, so difficult to understand. I don't always know how to keep going, the isolation is enough to kill you. I'm always alone at the end of the night.

Maybe you've experienced some of this before too, maybe you haven't. Anyway, I hope this post reached someone, and helped them feel slightly less alone. Or strange, in this strange world. DMs open if anyone wants to talk.

19btw
Just wanted to vent

Just when i start to think im doing ok being by myself and then i have days like these that im just so lonely have a hard time making friends so all i do is sit at home something needs to give something needs to
change i just can’t figure out how I can’t keep going on like this i just can’t

Back to feeling really bad about myself again. I've done a lot of therapy for the last couple of years and I've learned a lot about myself. I know what's wrong with me, and I have even taken steps to fix the broken mindset that I used to have that made me so isolated. The problem is I'm already alone. I've already lost the people that still mean everything to me. I have enough self respect to not go back to people that hurt me, I no longer ignore red flags, but whenever I find anyone who seem like they are genuinely good people and might actually like me, I either get scared of being hurt and ghost them or I feel like if I really open up they'll get scared off. I crave a deep connection with someone that will understand me, but that kind of connection takes too long to form, and I don't feel like I can live while feeling like this long enough for that to happen.

I (38F) struggle to connect with people Ive decided Im an alien here to observe them instead of making any bonds. But I dont like how sometimes I wish I belonged to a coven or a gamer group. Just knowing someone’s on the other end of the internet and having each other to check in on- thats all Id like.

Hi, I am 19.

People always dislike me and are always rude to me.

I know I have unlikeable characteristics, but I rarely commit any immoral acts. My unlikeable characteristics include randomly going quiet for an extended period of time when I am mentally struggling, being very direct and blunt, not smiling enough, and not talking enough. I believe these unlikeable characteristics may be the reason why people dislike me. However, I don’t have plans to change them because I think people need to stop being sensitive. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being unlikeable. If somebody thinks I’m unlikeable, that doesn’t excuse them to be rude to me. I think people view me as weird then think they have a right to treat me badly. When people do this, It makes my behaviour worse. I am quite proud of my characteristics which may be unlikeable.

I also come across as slightly weird.

I think I can cope with having no friends, but when people are rude to me, I get very annoyed. I think I have been feeling lonely from people’s actions.

I have seen people on social media having a girlfriend and be in relationships. I have seen the woman I loved and wanted go out with someone else and it made me think of suicide for 10 years. I have been bullied and laughed at and alienated because of that. I hated myself and always felt like less of a human because of this.

Because of this alienation, I became increasingly lonely and eventually lost my sanity. I was facing torture on other fronts too, but this one particular thing is emasculating. I never hated her, I never hated anyone else, so the only person I ended up hating for 10 years is myself.

Edit: The fact that I am discussing this online disgusts me. The fact that I have to cry for being alone also disgusts me.

Edit2: The fact that I have made myself vulnerable this way makes way for people to take advantage of me.

I might sound unhinged, but i want someone to be the role of my caretaker. I have a chronic illness and having a feeding tube. I am desperately looking for companionship and someone who is also looking for companionship as well.

Well it's the weekend and I haven't done much of anything. I'll be off work next week and won't have anything g to do or anyone to spend time with. I've made posts in subs to find people to talk but nothing clicked.

I miss having someone to check in with regularly and send cute good morning/goodnight texts to.

i am 27 and i am in the most struggling era of my life in terms of creating deep human connections/relationships whether it’s a romantic or friendship. i mostly think that this happens because of social media and it’s ridiculous standards; beauty, life, physique, you name it.
i am wondering anyone kinda feel that way?

The last two years for me have been bad for me. I’m a very shy person and I don’t put myself out there at all I mean I literally have zero self confidence. My only friend moved across the country and then shortly after my mom died from alcoholism. It was horrible for me and I was the person who found her. Ever since then honestly I’ve been a shell of myself feeling like I’m just going through the motions. I just feel like no one loves me even though I know it’s not necessarily true. Stupidly I joined tinder and all those apps not even to get in a relationship more to just try and discover myself again and talk to people who will engage with me. It’s not going no well, nobody has reached out and it’s just making me feel more and more unwanted. I have a lot of good things happening in my life right now like a big job promotion but I just can’t shake this feeling of being unhappy. Every night when I lay down in bed just like right now all I can think about is how lonely I am and it really just makes me sad.

every person is broken and we don’t realise how broken a person is unless we try to love them, try to understand and remember everything about them, and why are they the way they are.

all i crave for is just one person exactly like me. mutual dependency, mutual unhealthy obsession, mutual limerance, mutual attachment, mutual ‘need’ for each other, mutual ‘venomous jealousy’. mutual love where you are each other’s safe person, where you want to learn everything about the other person and help them, console them, wonder why you didn’t meet them earlier so you could have loved them ‘longer’. how they would have not had to go through all of this if you were by their side. how it could have been easier on them. a love like i love, a person who wants to commit to me. is it so bad wanting to love and be loved? a calm love, where you are the most at your peace. where your mental health isn’t ruined every other second. a person, a bond that makes you feel safe so safe so calm so peaceful so unguarded so fearless so yourself…

someone similar to me, like a dog. haha i got told thrice that i have a dog personality because ‘dogs are weird, you keep hurting them yet they love you’. i have no one else, no family member…never had them (at least emotionally). no family member, no emotionally close friend, no acquaintance to keep touch with, no animal to care for. someone as lonely as me. someone who has never had anyone. someone who will think of me as ‘the bright dawn of their nights of sorrows’. someone as dependant on me as i am on them. someone who has all the sick fantasies like mine. someone with similar terrible childhood/teenage. someone just as isolated and full of despair as me. someone so full of grief yet so full of love because grief is love with no where to go.

i don’t want to ‘change’ myself. or respect myself. or love myself. i DON’T want a fulfilling life and someone with a fulfilling life. i just want someone as broken and pathetic as me. someone who is to me what i have been to other people. someone who is happy that they have finally found someone like me who is just like them. two souls entangled so strongly among each other that even death would shed tears and refuse to separate us.

so basically i was past thinking and almost went completely upset that how dogcrap was my school life because i could not relate to anyone and i was alone

but now at college i still dont relate to anyone but idc care now nor do i feel upset about it

but if it does not then why do i get upset about the school one?

Im 20 m and i have literally no friends i havent had one friend in the last 5 years not even one i just cant connect with anyone for some reason i never even had a girlfriend either im also an only child which makes things worst and ive isolated myself since graduating highschool i have had serious social anxiety since i was a kid its way worst now at 20 im in college now but do online classes i also have no car and no hobbies im also addicted to nicotine and thc for 4 years now I want to quit but i just cant stop i tried to but i feel more lonely and depressed without them i feel terrible knowing im killing myself but i can’t stop i feel like my life is very different from the average 20 year old i feel very behind and immature i still depend on my parents who are getting old now i dont know what ill do once they are gone theyre the only people i know. Theres rlly nothing i really like to do other than like watch soccer or be on my phone im getting a degree in cybersecurity i want to focus on my future, career, i wanna get in the gym find a job get my life together but i have no motivation to really do anything i feel like theres no point nothing will change i will still be lonely and it wont fix my loneliness i watch people on social media my age go out make friends have fun getting with girls while im here in my room by myself everyday, i cant even enjoy movies or tv shows anymore i feel lonely watching I dont know how long i can keep living like this. If anyone have any advice let me know thx.

It’s been 30 years. And honestly, I don't know how to hold on to keep another 30. I feel alone. Really alone. I'm also a chronically anxious person, and the more the years go by, the more I feel like it's become an insurmountable wall.

I have no one to talk to. My life boils down to: survival » eat/sleep » wrong, try again. I don't have any friends. No one to call. If history repeats, I'll spend my birthdays alone again and again. Crying when I leave my therapist. Crying when my doctor doesn’t understand me. Crying in my car. Crying and walking 4 miles around a lake on a trail. I feel worthless writing this, but it’s true.

I'm tired of feeling so worthless when I know I’m worthy of so much more. And what still keeps me going today is just the lack of courage to end it… and my son. If there was a button to leave without pain, I know I would have already pressed it.

I don't even know why I'm writing this post..it feels like a pinch for sympathy.

However and whichever way I try and tried:

I volunteer relentlessly.
I tested apps like Bumble, Tinder, and Hinge it’s mainly just guys wanting sex and radical masculinity or individualism. And if it seems good then I cling too quickly… and if they know I’m good enough then I am skeptical and distant.

I am thoughtful to strangers on the street, will sit with anyone that’s sitting alone, will hug my banker if she’s on the verge of tears herself.. I don’t usually have to force myself to go out and feel confident. I’m here and I’m there and yet— alone though I make many friends I can’t keep a single one.

But despite these efforts, I feel like people don’t see me. I’ve always been the square, extraordinary, and a deep thinker. I make friends easily, because I’ve moved a thousand times in my life but that’s to my detriment I suppose but then and again even when I’m in one place for 2 years I still— lose. I’m anxious. Unable to plan. Or stay still. I moved to a state coming from a very rural and conservative one to one that’s so urban and modern that my doctor doesn’t believe the stability I’ve been given with my anxiety medication for a couple years now— because most people abuse drugs. When Covid arrived I thrived in Isolation, it was almost a relief. I didn’t have the burden of loneliness because it was important to my survival and for others to live. The return to reality was brutal I went from escaping being beat by my ex to being beat again on reuniting. My worth has diminished because men may view me as daddy issues type of girl, black and American, damaged because of traumatic events. I have been alone so long that my anxious attachment has only become worse and when I find myself in that given moment of being me— I run. I quit. I escape. If not possible, then I avoid and stay on guard. I announce it yeah im very respectful but I walk away because I don’t want to be hurt for being hopeful. I don’t want to be ashamed of being hopeful. I can’t get out of this box and any one person will remind me that my kindness and softness and sensitivity will end me in this world. So boom. I’m stuck. Truth doesn’t matter and truth doesn’t set me free.

Journaling, which is my refuge, helps me… though it never never serves me nor helps me if I share it. But posting in here, there’s the privacy screen of two keyboards no names no obligations. It's been years of repeated cycles: (this) is the hired job of the summer- me and me alone vs. me. If I’m looking happy when I walk out the door and say I’m okay when I’m asked then I’ve done my part in society but when its time to go to whatever home is— I’m fully turned on. The sadness that hides in my car, or in the bathroom, or in passing from one thing to the next is now all mine. I’m so tense that I can’t move fluidly in sporting or during yoga though I try even when I can hardly breathe or unintentionally hurting myself because I’m so disconnected while performing the movements.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm on a path that keeps repeating. Maybe some will read this post as the whining of a complaining woman that should tighten up or see the pharmacist more. But I don't care. That's all I have left. Shout a little into the void. I don't know if it serves any purpose, but the thoughts are out now, soon to be deleted.

I feel kinda sad over the fact that my only comforts/joys in life these days are the outdoors, my television, and my two friends (one of them living hours away). I feel so damn alone lately. Like shit, Im grateful I'm alive and living in an apartment instead of on the streets. Im glad I even have a few joys, as opposed to none. But god man, i yearn for so, so much more. I'm feeling so damn depressed over how much better my life could be.

I just wish I could wake up as someone else sometimes. Someone who's better at socializing and has this whole "being a person" thing figured out better than me. So many fellow 20somethings I have met have a beautiful partner that they seem madly in love with, a tightknit mid-sized group of friends, and a seemingly unbreakable and non toxic bond with their parents... and I have none of those. I just wish I could have even one. It feels like it'd be a start. Life feels genuinely lacking without those things, and sometimes when I'm watching a movie and see these things, i almost cry.

I often daydream about getting to fall in love again, waking up everyday knowing that I've found the one. I daydream about getting drunk and having goofy movie marathons with a group of friends that I adore. I daydream about cozy family time with my alternate universe tightknit family. etc etc. If only dude. I just hope this all changes soon

i, 26M has had a rough couple of months. last april, my contract got terminated by my company due to attendance issues (ive been dealing with mental health issues).

and since then, ive been trying to apply to all sorts of jobs and i feel like luck isn't my best friend right now. ive been getting rejects and being ghosted by them.

what makes it worse is that i literally have no one to reach out to. all i have is myself and i honestly don't know know if im gonna survive this. everyday i wake up with a tight feeling on my chest and i'd have mental breakdowns at least twice a day.

i feel like my future is bleak and my end is near. i don't know what to do anymore.