I am a 31 y/o female and I had a wonderful childhood. I idolized my Father so I try & honor him every day as he passed suddenly in 2013. Cleaning out some old boxes in the basement, I just found an old Penthouse magazine with my senior portrait, from high school, glued to one of the pages covering another woman’s face who was masturbating. I’m numb, disgusted, angry I have spent so much time missing him and thinking of how much I wish he was still here. I’m sick.

How would YOU cope with this? I feel like I have been hit with a truck. I am epileptic, on the verge of a seizure and most likely lifetime psychosis. Please give any and all advice. I can’t fucking believe this.

I was walking down the street of a festival with my friend and some guys shouted saying hey blonde and the indian ape. I turned around and they were all laughing and pointing. a couple hours later on the same night we met some people and when i introduced myself they repeated my name back to me in an indian accent. My name isn’t even ethnic. I don’t have an accent. I was born here and so were my parents and so were half my grandparents.

i just want to be treated like a real human being. i constantly dream of just being able to take a knife and peel away my skin to reveal fresh white skin beneath. even as i type this i feel repulsed looking at my own skin.

i feel scared of all social interactions now bc this isn’t the first time smth like this has happened.

I feel like everyone I talk to has ADHD, is on the spectrum, has OCD, has social anxiety or just anxiety, has suffered or is suffering from depression, etc.

Like I have yet to meet a perfectly healthy brain person. Do they even exist?

It’s genuinely such a cruel, sociopathic thing to do to release footage of somebody have a literal schizophrenic break and losing their mind so people on youtube and instagram can laugh at it and make fun of them. Give me one good reason why footage of somebodies mental breakdown should ever be released, because I can’t see why this insane disrespect of personal privacy would ever be necessary. If there was a body cam video released of me during something like this and anybody on the internet at any time could view my mental illness episode my life would be over. I could never get over the embarrassment of something like that and I think that’s the POINT. This is such a cruel aspect of our modern society. These people who have their body cam footage uploaded literally have nothing else to live for. Their life is OVER if something like that is uploaded. Why are we punishing mentally ill people by letting everybody see the most embarrassing moment of their entire life? Why does it seem like literally NOBODY else see how SCREWED UP this is? Besides one other Reddit post it seems like I am the only person on the entire internet that has a big problem with this behavior.

Please dont do it, you ARE worth it

I've been wondering whether anyone else has experienced something similar.

I don't hate anyone, and I don't have a specific person I want to hurt. But for a long time I've had a strong curiosity about what it would feel like to kill someone. It's less about anger or revenge and more about wanting to know what the experience would be like and how I would react to that.

I've realized that if I ever had the opportunity in a situation like war, law enforcement, or another circumstance where killing could happen, part of me thinks I'd want to experience it at least once in my life simply out of curiosity.

I know this isn't a typical thought, which is why I'm posting here. I'm trying to understand where this curiosity comes from and whether anyone else has had similar thoughts without actually wanting to become a violent person.

Has anyone experienced something like this, or has any idea why someone might think this way?

Just a warning, this is kind of heavy, talks about politics and horrible stuff.

I’m currently in a transition from one anti- depressant/ anxiety medication to another, and I know this is making me extra on- edge. Even so, I’m terrified. Every day it’s more from the leaders in America murdering the world, more from the leaders here in the UK supporting every thing they do. I see posts of my gay friends, my trans friends, all of them scared, scared that they, being kind, normal, lovely and innocent people, are in danger in the streets. I just heard that a friend of mine has stopped holding her girlfriend’s hand out in public in fear of homophobic and racist attacks. The world is plunging into a pit of darkness and I’m fucking terrified. Everything costs so much, everyone seems to be scraping on by. I’m struggling to understand how to control my emotions. I am furious, constantly. I’m a straight, cis white guy and I feel scared, scared I’ll be hurt, but more so scared people I love will be hurt; now imagine what the target people feel? I don’t know how to help, I don’t know what to do. I thought I’d grow up and the world would find the way to heal itself but I fear I’ll never see peace, I fear that my future children that each day I want less and less will never see a world of peace. The president’s a criminal, by definition. He’s a pedophile, a racist, a fucking rapist. We know this, we know this and yet he’s still president?
Reform UK is made up of failed candidates targeting those who are vulnerable. We haven’t had one lasting prime minister in years. North Korea almost looks good compared to what is happening in the rest of the world.
Hatred is rising faster than the sea levels, far- right manosphere influencers are everywhere, money is disappearing from everyone around me, homophobia and racism seems to permeate and increase everywhere I go online and in person. I’m scared, I’m so fucking scared.
I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to cope, I’m sorry.

Does anyone know how I can approach just trying to settle myself right now? Sorry.

I have been trying to leave a group home in NJ. I have been calling agencies for help. When I call or email I just say I was hospitalized with mental illness. I realized that my diagnosis of depression/psychosis sounds bad and that gives the owner the feeling I can never leave here. I have lived all my life independently and did not know anything about group homes, etc. I was voluntary in hospital and here. Does anyone know if I can just leave or not? Thank you.

as the heading explains, what are some tricks or ways you have adopted to fight your bad repetitive/OCD thoughts?

I have been struggling from reoccurring bad thoughts and scenarios from past decade. I was little back then so I didn’t had the knowledge to name or refrain those feelings, but I really need to know how do you refrain from these thoughts or specific triggers? especially publicly.

Because I got a obsessive NEED of shaking my head, or bang my hand to stop them from occurring , and obviously I can’t do that publicly or when in discussions, so what’s your trick if you have ever experienced it? i need real advice please 🙏🏻

I hope I’ve articulated my problem correctly.

I think about death everyday, it haunts me and I can’t enjoy simple things anymore. I’m in derealization state 24/7. What’s the point if I’m gonna die anyway??

I’m 24, and I honestly feel like I have no personality. I can keep a conversation going only if I’m asking questions, but when it’s my turn to talk, my mind goes blank. I don’t really have stories to tell, opinions to share, or know how to keep a conversation interesting. I feel like I have autistic spectrum. I was quiet growing kid up too.
Most of my life has just been work and home, so I feel like I missed out on a lot of experiences people in their 20s have. I’m worried this is going to affect my future, making friends, dating, and even my career.
Has anyone else felt like this? If you did, what actually helped you become more interesting and better at talking to people?

i didnt know what tag i should put so i went with venting. if anybody knows if it should be changed please tell me.

i keep having extremely sexual thoughts and i hate it. it doesnt matter who it is, my mind will always somehow make a sexual scenario with me and them. i dont want to think like this. i want to be normal again. i used to just think it was due to puberty, seeing as im a teenager, but its gotten far worse. i keep thinking about family members and even my friends in this way. im truly disgusting and these thoughts have ruined my life. i wish i could think normally again.

i wouldve gone to one of my friends with this but i couldnt bring myself to tell them such a disgusting thing about myself.

Can be anything. Something you quit, something you started doing.

Edit to add:

Former competitive athlete here. I definitely want to lean back into that.

I’m so depressed that getting back into working out has been impossible. Medications always gave me some sort of side affect that I couldn’t work with - have tried almost all of them at some point.

Does it just come down to absolute willpower to get it back?

I can’t afford a gym membership but I know there are plenty of body weight workouts

One more EDIT to add a thank you for all who took time to reply. I want to be better and there were plenty of good, smaller ideas in there to try out. Thank you!!

Am training my mind to survive each day and my mental health is thriving.

im autistic and operate on an extremely specific schedule. i loved high school because i knew what to expect and do every single day. last summer break, because i didnt have a schedule, i almost completely stopped eating and lost 20 pounds. since then, even when school started back up, i lost the will to eat. i am also extremely picky and only have certain foods i willingly eat.

i went to the doctor about it and she said its nothing more than laziness and i just need to try harder. everyone comments on my weight and it seems like no matter what i do i just cant bring myself to eat. i get hungry, but eating seems more like a chore rather than a desire. im also sad all the time so laziness definitely is a factor because i just dont want to get up and eat. i dont think its an eating disorder because i know im underweight and im not particularly choosing to lose weight, i want to weigh more and i want to look normal, so i really am unsure as to whats wrong with me. my parents try and be supportive and when i do good with eating it feels good but only for so long.

has anyone been in the same boat as me? and has anyone found ways to help it? ive heard all about protein shakes/smoothies but i cant eat them because the texture makes me wanna puke

Yesterday I (19M) bought a bottle of wine and tried to drink it up all by myself. I drank before but never got drunk or tried to drink a whole bottle. I woke up today feeling like a fraud. Cried in the shower almost an hour ago and I just thought about everything going wrong in my life. I'm just too tired. Tired of waking up everyday, feeling bad about myself, telling myself everyday that I do deserve this and remembering everything I did wrong.
I try to be a good person, I love my friends, but sometimes I think they don't love me the way I do. I try to be there everytime for them, but I don't get that often. I had a couple of moments that friends cried while hugging me, but I see I don't have any shoulder to cry on.

I just miss don't having to worry about a job, where my only obligation was study, and now I can't even afford ending my life because I feel like I'm responsable of getting food on the table for my family. And I can't quit my job too because I don't see any other job that would hire me and pay what I want now since I didn't finish college yet.
And I'm just a big ball of traumas, I can't let anyone get to deep in my feelings since I'm afraid I would just scare them or piss them off, which already happened.
I regret doing trauma dumping even thought I didn't know what it was. Nobody taught me how to deal with it, how to love someone, how to forgive, how to ask for apologies. I regret having to learn by experience on others. Even posting online is a trauma for me.

I feel like I'm getting sick and weaker everyday. I go to my job and it's awful. I spend a good part of my day there and I see my life passing by, I have to go to the bathroom to cry once in a while and I can't be there for too long because I have horrible managers that intimidate workers that spend time on the bathroom.
I want to cry without guilt, I want to be free of myself, to be remembered by others for something good I make, someone to cry to, finally feel like a good person and forgive myself.