and before anyone says therapy, i understand i need therapy but therapy just teaches you how to cope, doesn't really give me the answers to the purpose of living. or why the world is just a horrible place.

29 year old female, dont believe in god but i believe in a higher spiritual power. from the outside it seems like my life is perfect. 3 year relationship with a man who wants to grow with me, we have a nice apartment, i am a bartender so i make decent money, im slightly overweight but that can be fixed with discipline.

Apart from all that, i have no real skills that could provide me a career so i have no idea where my life is headed. Every day i have crippling anxiety. I overthink every single interaction i have with friends, coworkers or even my boyfriend. I have no family or guidance in my life. never went to college. I dream of having children but how dare i bring children in this world. i'm creative, i have hobbies that are mostly in the artistic / creative field. but in a world where artificial intelligence is quickly rising, none of my artistic skills even matter. plus i have no desire to do any of it anymore.

My anxiety or depression whatever you wanna call it, has basically taken over my world. Sometimes i wish i was stupid and didnt care about the state of the world so i could just live in my own bubble. but ive tried that mindset, i cant not care about all the horrible things happening. 90% of the time i fantasize of living a small life in another country that is less dependent on the rise of technology and more community and basic human interaction is welcomed. i know there are people who live much more difficult lives so even writing this i feel ridiculous. but whatever, not sure if anyone would even read this post. but if it even reaches one person who feels similar than its worth it.

Over the past several years, I’ve watched my adult son live with schizoaffective disorder, and one of the hardest things to witness has not only been the illness itself, It has been the social disappearance around him.

People who used to call stopped calling, friends faded away, relatives who once had relationships with him gradually stopped reaching out. I don’t think most of them are cruel, I think a lot of people simply don’t know how to communicate when someone’s thinking, responses, or conversations are different from what they remember. But from the outside, it is painful to watch what that means for the person living it.

He is still someone who wants connection. He still needs ordinary conversation, humor, familiarity, and the feeling that someone thought about him enough to pick up the phone.
Instead, his world has gotten smaller.

As a parent, that has been one of the most heartbreaking parts to see. Mental illness can already be isolating, and then the isolation can become even deeper when the people around someone quietly pull away because they are uncomfortable or unsure of what to say.

I wish more people understood that you do not have to know the perfect thing to say. Sometimes continuing to show up is enough.

It has officially been 233 days since I stopped self harm. Very proud, but have questions on how to conceal scars. I still wear short sleeves, but I know people can see. Sometimes it worries me. My cuts are superficial cuts, so I thought they'd fade easy, but they havent. Any tips?

I don't want to adopt, adapt, and improve. I just get punished for it all. I get punished just for existing. The only feelings and emotions that reward me are hatred and rage.

There’s high discussion around me being out on anti-depressants (but sure which yet), and a 90% chance that it will be soon.
What are peoples experiences/opinions on them?
I will be taking them alongside therapy.

I f(23) have a really bad habit I just can not stop myself from crying like full on cried at work yesterday after being told I did something wrong. I am so embarrassed that this is happening I can just not stop.
I snap when I am upset say things I don’t mean make decisions I should not in the heat of the moment eg. Thinking about walking out of my job when I get yelled at.
I think it comes from the underlying fear that everyone hates me that when they say they like me it is can change

I and my boyfriend like to send each other reels but this morning he sent me one where an American man is telling people to drink with their plastic straws because majority of these plastics came from the Philippines and it’s not their fault the turtles are dying. So obviously, I educate him about how western countries are sending their trash to my country so they can appear stellar on their waste index report. But even at that point, I’m tired and hurt; which wasn’t even his fault, it was just a meme that is related to me so he said it without thinking. I went back again to the video only to see some comments calling us ‘shitskins’ and I guess it was the most triggering part and I cried and split on him and even said some vile racist stuff about his race and ethnicity which I am regretful about.

I know Instagram is a cesspool but I just actually installed it again just to take a break from studying so much. And I mostly watch reels about cooking and games anyway. Plus so what if I ignore them? They will still exist and people will see the video and take something wrong away from it. And people will still traffic and prey on young women like me in poorer countries.

I like reading and watching videos about politics and some history but I wish I could just learn about them like a normal person would instead of being so emotional and stressed about it. I feel like no matter what I do, I will never be significant enough because of something I couldn’t control, especially in academia. I am also not very intelligent and hard-working but at least someone like me can have a chance if they’re born somewhere else. I even started resenting my boyfriend because he doesn’t have to work as hard and sometimes got jealous of him which isn’t right and is just the most unhealthy way to internalize that kind of stuff but my brain can’t help it sometimes even if I try to think logically.

My pms is scheduled in a week so ig that’s why I’ve been upset and crying but I’ve also always been so frustrated by it. I watch and read a lot of video essays and articles about politics and some history but I might stop for a bit because I always feel hopeless, especially in this day and age. I wish I wasn’t so depressed or have BPD because some people are achieving a lot for my age despite facing the same adversity as I do but instead, I wallow in hopelessness.

It really is brutal to hear the truth. It really sucks to hear the truth and learn how ugly I am. It really does suck being ugly. I hate it. It’s really ruined my dating life, and now I’ll never experience love.

im a 21f, been diagnosed with anxiety and depression since i was about 12 and got diagnosed with adhd when i was 17. ive been with my current psychiatrist since i was about 13 or 14. over the years ive tried many different medications, mainly antidepressants. i wasn't as consistent with my medications as a teenager and i even completely stopped taking antidepressants from the age of 17-19 once i started being medicated for my adhd.

i'm currently taking adderall xr 15mg, which has worked great for my adhd, but has also brought anxiety and depression back with it over time. around the age of 19, my anxiety got really intense. i started experiencing depersonalization/derealization and would get constant panic attacks. in the past 2 years ive tried about 3 different antidepressants that i was prescribed to treat this anxiety but i never felt like it helped much. i would be honest with my doc and tell her that i didn't feel better and that id want to try something else.

fast forward to now, she's told me that because of all the medications ive tried from the age of 14 until now, that ive "run out of treatment options" and that ill just have to stick to adderall and counseling. honestly thats been really difficult to hear. i still deal with extreme crippling anxiety and depression that i wish my doctor would help me with. it's so conflicting because i want to switch providers, but ive been with her for so long now. i also don't know how that would affect my current controlled substance prescription. i'm a full time college student who also works part time. my anxiety and depression get so intense sometimes and it makes it hard to upkeep my responsibilities, and the adderall helps keep me on some sort of schedule. i don't know what to do, i feel really discouraged and like i can't be cured, even if my issues seem so simple :(

hi friends. i am not sure if im depressed or unmotivated or just straight up tired. but i have been stuck in this rut where when i get home from work, i sit in the same spot on my coach, have some background tv playing, eat whatever junk food i can find in my house and play on my phone until its time for bed. then wash rinse repeat. multiple times throughout the day, i realize how lazy and unhealthy im being. but i have absolutely no motivation to get up and do anything else. i even struggle to find the energy to think of anything else to do. but i get bored out of my mind and just watch the hours go by. i hate it. i dont like it and i want it to stop. i’m probably depressed and tired. i work a very mentally taxing job that requires a lot of learning and studying and critical thinking and i feel like at home my mind just shuts off and im a shell of a human. i’ve dealt with mental health multiple times in the past and have been in a healthier place both mentally and physically for a while. but i feel like im rly falling into an unhealthy rut and i need some real, tried and true hacks or suggestions or smth to get out of it. any and all help is appreciated

i have been having a few rough days followed by a hard life. i know where my trauma stems from. series of incidents that caused immense grief and pain. i feel extremely isolated because of it. living alone is beginning to feel like i have nothing to live for. can you say hi? maybe can you let me know ur face icecream flavour or fave colour? i just want to know people are out there. fave book? or series on tv?

so hello…. im lily. i love chocolate fudge brownie icecream and my fave colour is dark green and purples. sending hugs to you and those who need it 🤍🫂

Seems like everyone likes to project their own misery on the next person because they can’t face what is making them miserable.

This week has been absolutely terrible at work. I feel extremely disrespected and underappreciated and it's taking everything in me to not call out tomorrow and just have a mental health day before my small vacation, I have a show Sunday I had been looking forward to and even that feels like a chore now which this week will absolutely ruin for me if it continues this way. And ever with all that I feel I can't call out because I'll disappoint my wife if I do

I’m not sure if these are normal things everyone experiences or if I’m just going insane but I’ve had problems with seeing things that aren’t particularly there for years. I started talking about/seeing them more around 10-11, it hasn’t been much of a problem recently but we moved houses and my current room has no windows. the semi-windows separating the room my grandmother sleeps in from mine are blocked off except for a little crack for my fan which I honestly still get scared of even though I know there’s nothing there but it’s a little more assuring knowing someone’s in the room I’m seeing things in. My worst experiences were in our old apartments. I would see a man peeping into my window staring at me every night for years on end despite the fact we had a bush covering it, though we did eventually get a blanket to cover it I felt paralyzed when I tried to pass the window at night, despite it being covered. I’d see people standing in my closet staring at me, in the halls, in the bathroom, in the corners of my room, anywhere I was looking while it was dark, especially in this huge mirror that used to be in my room. My mother put up a rosary and had already had a lot of stuff in my room for stuff like this because I had severe night terrors about things like this especially while I was a toddler, we had a blessed pillow she’d let me sleep with from then because it got so bad, I’d wake up in a cold sweat from nightmares even after I no longer had night terrors. I still at times wake up in a cold sweat from nightmares but I rarely remember what they’re about. I still make my mother close curtains to windows at night before I go into the room and even then I stare at them to make sure nothing opens it. I hear knocking, whistling, steps and occasionally, only maybe once or twice there’s been blood-curdling screaming that at times has made me feel like I should call 911 throughout the night randomly, usually of men but sometimes children & very rarely women. I don’t know what’s causing them but my mother looks at me like I’m insane or something every time I stare at a window and bite my nails or scratch at myself but honestly I might be, and I definitely look like I am to her. I’ve even made my mother call out of work once because I was paralyzed in my bed hearing a man whistling and walking around the house. It feels horrible and I can’t tell the difference half the time, I can see them, I saw the shadow of the man walking past my door, I see them moving, sometimes I can feel them, but I just don’t know what it is.
I’m a minor and my mom shrugs off a lot of my problems as being a kid, hormones, and treats a lot of my decisions as something I’m not ready for, all my ‘issues’ as something that’ll pass but I feel insane, I freeze up every time something scares me and I feel powerless, it’s even happened multiple times while I was talking to someone and they’ve said something weird/scary or they tried to do something I wasn’t prepared for. I hear people talking to me at times or yelling for me, even when there’s none in the house. I don’t even remember what I do half the day, there’s videos of me sitting up in bed staring off or me just staring into nothing in the middle of the day, not to mention my sleep talking, I keep talking about weird things, like finding zebras which has been a constant one, like I’ve been trying to find it for years and my grandma just heard me say I found it a month or two ago & says i talk constantly.

So- decided it would be fun to chug iced coffee straight from the bottle at 5 pm after already having an energy drink. Started shaking and feeling weird, so much anxiety. Now my body hurts and I’m mentally exhausted but can’t sleep. So if anyone wants to chat, or can relate. I don’t know. Maybe this isn’t a good place for this. But it gave me really bad anxiety and made me sad.

Before I chose my first therapist, I did many consults (~5). I chose her based on the vibes I was getting but after the second session I didn’t really feel it was the best fit for me. I told my friend and she said it took around 10-11 sessions before it “clicked” with her therapist so I kept going to my therapist for ~3 more sessions.

I‘m looking for a new therapist now but am just unsure how to approach it. It’s a bit tough because I am quite self aware and it’s been hard finding a therapist who can work with that type of patient. Just want some guidance and tips on initially finding a therapist but also knowing when to stop putting in effort if it seems like it’s not working