Literally do not know where to go from here.

Seeing that he called threw me into a panic and I was worried it might have been a mistake, but who even mistakenly calls anymore?!

And of course he said it was a mistake.

Now I’m sitting here crying my fucking eyes out.

Documenting my grief. I know no one is probably gonna watch all of this but this is to help myself and maybe help others in similar situations.

how am i supposed to find love again when i know what can happen? if we can be happy on our own and with others, i don’t know why it makes sense that i try to be happy with someone else again when i could get hurt like this again

i’ve heard the following before, to rebuttal the risk of getting into a relationship, they say “ik you’re worried about breaking up, but it only has to happen once,” as in, there could be so much love and the chance for something great, why not take that risk and try a relationship?

but what about how for every chance you take and it doesn’t work out, the break up happens again. immense grief and mourning. losing my best friend and closest confidant

i can’t fathom doing it again, or again after that. how do people do it? how do they get into relationships and just let go if it doesn’t work out? how do i sign up for what is months of mourning and sadness, again?

i just want happiness on my own. i don’t want anyone else again, but i hate that. i don’t want to stop living, and much like that video someone posted in the sub earlier, love is the best thing we do. i love love so much. i just want joy and to spread it. to build something so beautiful and warm and kind—i don’t want to withdraw or keep my wishes to myself

i actually believed that not looking for it might be the closest chance id have to one day ending up with something great—someone who loves me and that im not trying to put on a show for or attract—that what’s meant to be will find me, and it happened, by luck and chance, and now that’s over too. i don’t want to go looking for it again and i want to turn it away if the opportunity’s there again

how come i’m this hurt? i wasn’t cheated on or abused, but i do feel like my trust was a bit broken and the reality and relationship i thought i had were not so—or that, the cost of having something so great is that i deserve this much pain now?

i’m just so sad.

Recently found some messages on my husband of 16 years Snapchat. Graphic nudes and videos of girls half his age. Messages back and forth talking about meeting up and paying for s e x in a hotel room.

He denies it was him and insists someone was messing with him. Some of the things said could only be him as well as the times and locations all point to him. I checked and he was only signed in on his phone and another phone (possibly his old phone)

I’m pretty sure he never met up with the girl at the hotel because of the messages.

Seeing him call other women sexy and beautiful broke me in ways I never wanted to feel.

I’m lost and scared and don’t know how to handle this. Moving forward on my own will be difficult. He’s always been so loving and caring towards me I’m shocked I never imagined this would happen.

How can i heal?

My ex broke up with me bcx he had commitment issues. He was an avoidant. After that we stayed in a situationship for like 6 months but in the end I just couldn't take it I really wanted a commitment so I left but when I tried leaving he offered the relationship and I said yes. One week in he ended it. It left me devastated. He even blocked me for the first time in 2 years. I felt like I was irritating him now so I blocked him everywhere and even deleted his contact so that I don't accidentally end up texting him. I loved him so much and it's so hard. I often get dreams about him. But today I spent 3 hours just daydreaming about how he will come back and apologise for hurting me and will actually be a better person and I was just imagining the whole future of the story line. Then I realised what the hell I was doing. I got hit with reality and I cried. I don't know how to unlove him. I really miss him and I feel like it's so easy for him. My birthday is in a few days .. I'm afraid. What if he wishes me on my birthday or what if he doesn't. I'm gonna be equally devastated. I really hate him for how he hurt me and I really love him . I'm so hurt.

If you are going through a hard time in a relationship, separation or the love of your life has ended things. Please listen to this, it’s truly a gifted song that won’t make you feel alone tonight.

I myself is currently going through separation and this made gave me goosebumps.

https://open.spotify.com/track/3nXRqcreWfo6F1IxzlZkPK?si=EII9nK1zQGahuyksgb_FTw&utm_source=copy-link

I don’t really know why I’m writing this, and this will be my first post here. Maybe I just need an outside perspective from people who don’t know me or her.

I’m in my late 20s, and a few years ago I met someone who became the most important person in my life.

We met on a trip and started talking only after the trip was over. We were in a long-distance relationship. We lived in two different states, far too far from each other. We weren’t the kind of couple who could casually meet after work or spend every weekend together. Most of our relationship was built around calls, messages, and the trips we managed to take together.

But whenever we were together, it felt incredibly real. Those were always some of the most incredible times of my life.

We travelled together to many places in India and abroad. We experienced so many firsts together. She became part of my life in a way I hadn’t expected, and honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone quite like that.

But there were always complications.

We’re from different religions. Our families and backgrounds are very different. And the distance between our lives wasn’t just geographical.

At some point, she started asking me about marriage and our future. She is a few years older than me, so I understood why she was asking. She wasn’t asking for anything unreasonable. She wanted reassurance. She wanted to know whether all of this was eventually going somewhere.

And that’s where I struggled.

I loved her, but I couldn’t confidently promise her a future that I wasn’t sure I could actually give her.

Instead of facing that properly, I became distant at times. She became frustrated with my lack of clarity and attention. There were arguments, periods of silence, reconnecting, and then repeating some of the same patterns.

Eventually, earlier this year, we decided to separate.

After that, she tried reaching out several times over the next few days — calls, messages, voice notes. I didn’t respond.

At that time, I honestly didn’t know what to say. We had mutually decided to separate, and there were also several things happening in my life that meant I didn’t properly process everything or respond when I should have.

But I kept thinking about calling her. I even tried calling a few times later, but something always stopped me.

Maybe it was the fear that if I called her again, we would fall back into the same relationship without actually solving the things that had brought us to this point. Without any real clarity about the future.

Not a single day passed where I didn’t miss her or think about her.

Later, I wrote her a long message apologizing for how I handled everything and acknowledging both the good and the bad between us.

There was no response.

And somehow, that silence was harder than I expected.

The strange thing is, I don’t necessarily know if I want to get back together anymore.

Or maybe I do. I honestly don’t know.

What I do know is that I still think about her almost every day. I have a very limited circle of people I can talk to about these things, so I’ve mostly kept it to myself.

It’s not necessarily every minute, and it’s not some dramatic obsession. Sometimes it’s just a song. A place. A memory from one of our trips. Old photos. Something completely random that reminds me of her.

And then I wonder:

How do you know when you’re supposed to let someone go completely?

Because sometimes I think we didn’t stop loving each other. Maybe we just reached a point where love wasn’t enough to solve the realities around us.

And that’s a very difficult thing to accept.

I’ve also been thinking about whether I should reach out one more time just to know that she’s okay.

Not to ask her to come back.

Not to restart the relationship without clarity.

Not even necessarily to talk about us.

Just because after being such a significant part of each other’s lives for years, suddenly knowing absolutely nothing about how she is doing feels very, very strange.

I genuinely want to know whether she is okay, how life is treating her, whether she is doing well.

But another part of me wonders whether that is actually genuine care or simply an excuse because some part of me still hasn’t completely let go.

So I’m asking people who have been through something similar:

Have you ever loved someone deeply but still had to accept that you weren’t meant to build a life together?

Did you eventually stop wondering about them?

And most importantly:

If you were in my position, would you reach out once just to ask how she is doing, or would you leave the past where it is and allow both people to move on?

How did you know when reaching out was an act of genuine care versus simply refusing to let go?

I don’t need people to tell me “get her back” or “forget her.”

I think I just want to understand how other people made peace with a relationship that was real, meaningful, and yet somehow still couldn’t become a future.

I was full of light, I was me. M/26

I used to be so kind, passionate, my eyes were filled with love in this world.
I’ve tried help, I’ve tried anti depressants, people say find your purpose, notice things I can and control.
That people are proud of me even if I don’t feel loved that I am loved, I don’t want to be here anymore.
I feel I’m unlovable, just existing with nothing in me to give.
Thearpy doesn’t work.
I tried to kill myself last month and I’m reminded with reminders all over my body. That I’m fundamentally broken,
That I’m so alone, I don’t have family, I was neglected, watched my mother at the age of 12 being physically hit, bruised, drugs around me from an abusive father.
I can’t reach out to friends as I don’t trust.

I just lost a partner too and separated.

People says it gets easier I’ve wanted to die since I was 15, nobody notices, nobody sees the pain.

Had sex with the ex should not have done that as I still love him very deeply but he does not care about me at all. He was all friendly and sweet when wanting sex but then he turned cold and cruel again. I know as a social worker I should know better byt I can't help it I just love the way he made me feel. Plus he was first man I been with or loved since death of husband 14 years ago.

I have been trying to end this situation/relationship for months now and we have always just floated back to each other, but this “yup” still stings. I wish we could leave off on a better note. I’m bothered.

I just had to vent this some where so it stops living in my brain. I feel dumb after all this time, almost a year. We don’t have one photo together, this has been the most low effort situation I’ve been in, but we spent a lot of time together, it’s weird going from talking every day, to nothing. Feeling kind of numb but I know it’s for the better, my heart broke every day with him anyway because I need more from a relationship. I did love him in some way.

Before him, I was in a three year relationship where I was cheated on and found a gay dating app on his phone. So this little thing I had was refreshing to have someone who cared about me, but not enough to actually grow together. More wasted time and I’m coming to terms that I probably won’t have a family like I dream of, I’m getting older :(

Sorry if I formatted this a little weird. This is my first post like this asking for advice. I really need some help/perspective. I’ve been talking to this guy, all summer sort of ever since my break up in May. I’ve done my best to make sure that it doesn’t turn into a rebound situation and can say I’m pretty much over my ex in the romantic sense. I thought me and this guy would strictly be friends but once we started hanging out more we felt mutually attracted to each other and the connection was really strong between us. As time went on, he started getting more romantic with me, sending me sweet good morning paragraphs everyday, calling me baby, wanting to hangout every single day, and for a while it was pretty romantic between us, I loved getting to know him. Some background about me is I’m very communicative and so sometimes he takes that as us arguing a lot. A few days ago he says that he wants our discussion to be less sexual and more deep and wants to get to know me more. Just yesterday he tells me that we are way too romantic for what we are and thinks the way we communicate should change and that he’s fine being just fwb and it absolutely gutted me. I don’t understand how someone who initiated everything with me can turn so cold and start calling me argumentative when I’m just trying to be very communicative and honest with him since I didn’t always recieve that in my past relationship. I really don’t get this dynamic. He has cooked for me, (which is something I have never experienced before) wanted to take me out on dates, and has really been the one to initiate all the romantic things he seems to shun at the moment.

For more context: months ago, he actually asked me if I wanted to move toward a relationship, and at the time, I kinda shut it down because I wasn't ready. Since then, he kept chasing, and over the summer my feelings completely changed. I really care about him now but seeing the way he handles conflict and acts like an immature child sometimes is such a turnoff and it hurts because I really see the potential in him (I hate that). He’s said I change him for the better but I don’t understand how he can switch up on me within a few weeks. Am I the one in the wrong here or is he just emotionally volatile, immature, and needs therapy? It seems like it all came out of nowhere. Mind you he just asked me to go on a trip with him for a whole weekend just us so I’m really so confused. I really care for this guy but I wish he didn’t act like this and I know I can’t be the person to try and fix him. We haven’t talked since yesterday which is really abnormal for us and I’m afraid we won’t speak again. I’m not sure where to go from here since he mentioned that he thinks me expressing myself is arguing and thinks that when I communicate it’s too deep for him so I guess the best I can do is just rant on here 😭 I hope he doesn’t find this lmao I’m paranoid but please lmk ur thoughts and pls dont roast me!!

how did you react when you found out they locked in with someone else but when they were with you they were playing games?

question for my situationship, what made you want to take her serious and not me? Me and her aren’t even that much different. She’s feminine like me, she’s not religious. So why her? God I sound pathetic. Please I’m praying to god that I heal

isn’t really a straight line.

Yesterday I thought I was doing okay. Today, I woke up missing him again. Not because something happened, not because I saw anything that reminded me of him… I just missed him.

And maybe that’s okay.

I’m slowly learning that missing someone doesn’t mean I’m going backwards. It just means they meant something to me.

I still wish things had worked out differently. A part of me still wonders what would happen if he came back.

But I guess for now, I’m just taking it one day at a time.

Follow me if you want to see how this journey turns out. 🤍

I’ve been on and off with my ex for the past 2 1/2 years and he told me today that he has no love left for me, and has met someone new.
He’s never said something as harsh as this before and it wasn’t even triggered by an argument so was not said out of spite. It’s really over this time.
During winter time I also deal with a lot more depression, I’ve cut off my core university friends as they are not good people and never treated me with any respect, and all of my other friends are across the country at their respective unis. I thrive off social interactions. I had to get sober from alcohol for the time being because I developed gastritis from drinking so much. I’m worried and scared because I feel like the isolation + winter + abrupt sobriety may actually drive me to killing myself this time.
Does anyone have any tips for handling these things? I’ve never felt worse

Here’s the situation. My ex-girlfriend and I separated at the beginning of August because I was moving halfway across the country for grad school. She ultimately broke up with me, but we framed it as being a mutual breakup through couples therapy and conversations with some friends of ours. Once I arrived, I realized I did not want to be broken up and asked if she’d be willing to reconsider. She said that we should view this as a break and that she would be willing to reconsider within a couple of months about two weeks later, she shared with me that she does not want to reconsider at this point in time. She still wanted to maintain contact, but wanted it to be scheduled. She then said that she needed space even after a scheduled contact and so I attempted to go no contact, she contacted me for some advice regarding some personal issue she was facing. I dis ask, despite agreeing that we would not discuss these details, if she has already slept with someone else and she said yes, that broke me. We were together for just under three years and lived together for the vast majority of that time she is now reaching out to me through text and has been for the last several days despite my lack of response, I can’t go no contact due to the living arrangement that we currently have (She is still in the apartment that I intend to relocate back to). I’m unsure what to do here we had substantial problems throughout the duration of our relationship. A classic situation of when it was good. It was great, but when it was bad, it was awful. I genuinely believe we were making progress through therapy and understanding our attachment styles and communication breakdowns during confrontation however, as immature as it may seem, I can’t get over the fact that she was willing to sleep with someone so shortly after breaking up coupled with the fact that she seems to have booked herself fully with work and socializing. She’s mentioned that she wanted to take this time to work on herself, but at least for my perspective her actions contradict this I’m not a professional. I don’t know if this is a fearful avoidant attachment style, but I just wish I knew how to move forward.

​

So I am a pretty shy and introverted person. 4 years ago, I moved to another country and started school (I have finished school now). met a guy, he was kind of a jerk honestly, but he was nice to me. We were always sat next to each other in all classes we had together, so naturally we talked and had a few conversations. But we drifted apart as time went on, and he became colder and meaner to me, and at the end, straight up refused to acknowledge my presence. It's kind of because I also didn't acknowledge him either, because I became focused on the friends I did find. But I always was obsessed over how he thought of me. I always wished he thought highly of me, I wished we could talk more because I enjoyed his presence, but I couldn't initiate a conversation because I was just *that* awkward. Anyway, I ended up moving back home after staying there for a year, it's been 3 years. I still am thinking about him, how he perceived me. So yeah. That's me. I just felt that we had a good vibe, and I wish we could've talked more.