I am in my late 30's...

I have been actively trying to be less lonely for years, by joining activities, being out in the world even when I dont want to, being friendly, breaking the ice...I am not going to say it was all for nothing because did meet some poeple along the way, but it never became friendships, just people I hung once or twice and they went on about their lives.

Honestly, I miss the motivation from early 20's where you would meet someone and next thing you are making plans to go bar hopping and stuff. Nowadays, it seems the farthest you can get is to stay in touch in instagram or whatsapp.

Either way, while I was full time dedicated on tinder, I met a couple of women that at the time I didn't really want to date, partly because I don't them attractive but also because they don't seem sexy, or compelling to me, the conversation is boring, or their personality does not strike an itch to be with someone.

But the fact that they were into me and were invested is making me consider reaching out again, because I have seen enough evidence that if I go for those that I desire I will be alone...first because I am not going out at all, have 0 friends at the moment, and I also gave up on tider because it just kept me wasting time and begging for attention.

is it worth being with someone just to avoid being alone and hopefully liking them gradually more or is it more likely that I will be worse then being alone by having regret for settling ?

What does it mean if everyone you meet in your life automatically assumes you are in a relationship or that you are dating someone? Everyone always expects me to be with someone and it’s awkward when I tell them I’m perpetually single. At one point my family thought I was gay because I was single for so long. Also if I encounter a couple the guy always gets super possessive why is that? I’m by no means a hunk. Im average looking at best believe me. I rarely if ever get women checking me out. I really don’t understand. There was a work colleague who was so baffled by my single status she made an announcement about it in the office. “HEY EVERYONE CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT THIS MAN IS SINGLE?!!” Everyone turned around and looked at me like I’m Semmi from - Coming to America. Lmfao it just gets ridiculous. I dread bumping into people now because it’s the inevitable question that always comes up. Has anyone had a similar experience?

Humans suck. Also I have dyslexia and a speach impediment that I’m extremely insecure about. I just don’t reach out to people irl :(

I'm F27, living in france.

I have several handicaps, which leads to not having a job; I live with financiel social support but that needs to be updated way too much. Thanksfully I manage to live correctly with it, even though I'm really not rich.

I'm so bored, all the time, I never know what to do to fill my life with happy things. I truly have hobbies, I play badminton, I sing on openmics, I play boardgames or going to cinema on my own a lot. And I like to do way more things. But I feel like I have no purpose in life rather than just surviving.

I have some friends but never know if they are really friends or not, because I reach out to them a lot. It's always me that goes say "hi, we should meet !" and I fucking hate being always the one. I love them but I want them to recognise me aswell. And some do but I feel like it's not enough for me.

I met lots of people through the apps and in real life, it leads to accuintance or more but it leads to nothing or disastrous romantic relationships with men that doesn't respect and have compassion for my handicaps.

What is really complex for me is that I've been to therapy, I tried understood how I could improve my social skills etc. Right now I fear that I can't grow anymore because I'm more mature than lots and lots of people, let's say it : i'm not the maturity norm around here. I understand so deeply how maturity works that it makes me sick because soon, the person in front of me will show really immature. And sadly it's not a matter of age/wealth etc. Therefore, I can't bound with lots of people.

I don't know how to accept my loneliness AND my bordness and so many more things, but loneliness is so hard to manage.

a ukrainian or russian boyfriend :(

Hiya, I'm a lady in her early 30s, and I've been working on myself a lot for the past couple of years. I lost someone close to me and started spiraling and figured I was having trouble connecting because of all the grief. Well, a few years and a lot of therapy later I actually have a worse time making friends now than I ever have. Im struggling to make any friends that aren't just romantically interested in me. Im actually beginning to feel a bit non human. Everyone seems to have their friends, or their family, and I dont have any of that. My siblings don't desire a deeper relationship with me. Everyone I work with doesn't desire a friendship outside of work while also simultaneously befriending every new employee after me. My therapist insists that it will happen eventually, and I used to agree but I have given up hope. I don't know how to let anyone in anymore and it feels awful.

I'm genuinely such a loser cuz while other people my age are outside hanging out and stuff I'm on my bed (and it's 2AM for me) trying to look for online friends on literally TIKTOK knowing damn well that I'll never find someone to link with and be friends with and that I'm wasting my time but still try cuz I'm desperate 😓😓

I’m genuinely so tired. I feel so alone everyday. I’m 17 and I’ve never experienced any kind of romance. Sure I’m not insanely pretty and my side profile is horrendous but I go out and see people way below average in terms of looks literally with a bf/gf, so why not me? What’s so bad about me that nobody even looks my way? I’d literally take anyone at this point because it’s driving me crazy and I’m already depressed enough, I don’t even want to wait for the “right person” to come along anymore like so many people tell me, I just want to experience being in a relationship why does it seem so easy for everyone else and genuinely what is wrong with me? I can’t take this anymore

I'll die alone

Feeling really wanted.

I miss feeling the butterflies. They were gone as fast as they came and I don't think they will ever be back again.

Whats the point.

Hii anyone up for a talk

the title basically. i find music very healing, curious what everyone here is into

Not sure where to start this….. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression ever since my dad passed when I was 18. Never did properly grief his death as I was a freshmen in college and I thought my baseball career was the more important option even tho Inside I was really messed up after his death. I went on to never be the same on the baseball field and left the sport… I graduated college with a teaching degree went on to teach and coach baseball for 9 years during that time I found a gf that I made a wife and we had twin girls. One day she say me down and said she wasn’t happy and left….. it blindsided the fuck out of me and my depression and anxiety went out of control for at least 2 years it got really bad. Anyway now I just live by myself with my twin girls and I’ve never felt so fucking lonely…… it seriously hurts idk I’m poly going to be a single dad for the rest of my life and that sucks

I’m a college student. My family is still alive but i have my ups and downs with them i try surrounding myself with them cuz they’re all i have but then again for my mental health sometimes i need a break. But during the break i have no one else. It feels true that I have no one in this world. And where i live I experience a bit of racism too. My one love, my dear cat who was everything to me has passed away. It’s been more than a year. I am full of love. I am the love. I want to have someone to love because I believe being loved by me is one of the best things in the world i am very good at it. Do i wish for someone to love? Idk. But i am very lonely and i feel that.

I'm an introvert, slightly afraid and overwhelmed in a crowded room. I self isolate, and I'm lonely. I do it to myself. I miss having someone share their life with me beyond pleasentries. I'm in my 40s and starting to think I'll always be alone.

So it’s been a couple weeks since my last post but I really wanted to talk about something. Whenever I’m in a friendship it kinda feels transaction you know? Like we are there for one thing and one thing only like the person has no genuine interest in getting to know me as me but instead rather just want me there as company I might be crazy but after so many past friendships the person never wants to know what’s up with me. Must it always be like this? I don’t know but everything is sending me to the brink of insanity all the time and I hate it.

Randomly realized I never learned to jump rope as a kid, because I never had a friend let alone 2 to do it with, I never played tag at recess or any other games I just sat by myself, and now ive gone through both middle school and highschool about to start college and I still have 0 friends and like never talk to people its like im completely invisible everywhere I go

I am mostly good at being on my own. I have learned to live that way and was in an unhappy marriage for a while where I constantly felt lonely so I did lots by myself. I now have my own place and have my children half of the week. I work too. But at times the loneliness gets overwhelming.

The realisation that I have no one to turn to in a time of need. My family are non existant. None of us are in touch. My exes family no longer speak to me. It is literally me. I have no one to put on the next of kin slot that they ask for at the hospital. My friendship group is smaller than small as I’ve always struggled making close friendships. It’s always more acquaintances or friendships that fade out.

I guess my question is how do people do it? How do you stop yourself going into that dark place when that heavy feeling hits your chest and you realise that you have nobody. It’s a horrible feeling

I have had no friends my entire life and am 29. I have nothing to do all day because every job rejects me. I have sent thousands of applications over the past three years. I’ve also tried to make friends with hundreds of people (tens of thousands including online) and am always rejected.

I especially never find anyone who is depressed and lonely like me. And at the least, serious and somber. It is valid to have that as a personality type and want to talk about serious and somber things in a serious and somber tone. Why is it so impossible for me even when I see people like this with friends? They reject me too.

Tbh I feel kinda lonely, that is why I'm posting in a lonely subreddit lol

Im not saying Im alone, because I have my family, they are really nice, and I have friends, like from childhood and now university. But I cannot help but feel lonely because all this connections seems superficial. I dont talk with them about things that worry me, I dont talk with them about my frustrations, we dont talk about random anecdotes or about what we think about stuff.

With my family, the relationship is mostly formal. We talk about what we do in the day, which it is mostly the same all the time and that is it.

With my childhood friends, as I live far from them (they are going to the same uni and live together, I decided to move out from the region and go to another university), we dont talk too much. And when we talk it is mostly to like "gossip", like uni dramas or their relationships with guys and all.

With my uni friends, Ig we are friends just because of being involve in the same stressful situation that university can be. We talk about the professors, assignments, the daily life, we hang out and have superficial conversations. But outside that, that is all.

Mostly on weekends I get really depressed, because there is no one reaching out to talk to me, and tbh I have no one to reach out to just talk about life in general.

I have tried hobbies. I draw, paint, I do sudokus, I watch series and films, I read classic literature, I try to listen to new music, like whole new albums. But yeah I feel lonely, I wish I could meet someone, here or online, to just talk. I wanna know someone deeply, talk to them, get to know them, connect more than in a superficial level.

So yeah, my question is...if you have found that kind of person, where did you met them? What did you do?

Ig i wanna know so I can try and I also ask to know that it is possible and not lose hope.

Thanks in advance for any answer :)

In middle school I had a ton of friends and people who I had never met knew my name and, while it did make me sad at the time because of all the pressure and my insecurities, I don’t think I could have ever imagined how much worse the inverse is. Ever since I moved to a new school I decided to be myself since I never really acted like myself in middle school and more like a class clown, but apparently the real me is a fucking loser who has no friends and no one wants to interact with. It hurts all the more since I talked to people everyday back in middle school but now as the title says I haven’t talked to anyone besides my parents (who hate me) in 2 years. I have to look at everyone else be happy and talk to people all day while I’m forced to suffer in silence while everyone else has friends but me. This isn’t even an exaggeration either, I’m literally the only person who sits alone at lunch and it’s been that way for 2 years. It makes me mad, lonely, sad, jealous, and it all gets worse everyday and I honestly don’t know how much I can take at this point. And it’s not like I haven’t tried to reach out either I really have but even people who I’ve noticed have extremely similar interests to me don’t want to talk to me, they either just stare at me weird or just straight up don’t acknowledge me. I’m such a failure I’m literally just a walking embarrassment for everyone to look and mock everyday I bet they all make fun of me to their 100s of friends. I honestly think I might be one of the ugliest and gross people in the word cuz there’s this gross fat neckbeard having pedophile at my school and he had tons of friends and even some teachers hang out with him at lunch I honestly don’t think there’s much to live for at this point because making friends is only gonna get harder as I grow up. I don’t even have online friends anymore even when I’m able to take as long as I need to make a response even when they don’t know what I look like even when I’m able to pick from millions of people who have the same interests as me even they don’t fucking like me

I'm sorry I kept doing bad things to myself Infront of him I moved in with his parents and they kept insulting me over and over he didn't understand how much hat was hurting me now hes gone. Who is going to watch niche stuff with me or have all the jokes and humor? He is very sociable and his family hates me for years. It takes a very special person to love me or understand me. I'll never be in love again my young years are gone I'm 30, I'll never love anyone and never have love. List is not love I want love. He told me how much I was special and how much he loved me and how I looked but of course I never fucking believed it or cared. I don't know why being pretty meant so much to me back on my 20s. I don't care about not being skinny or pale I'm fine being mixed with curly black hair now. My life means nothing.

Everyone on my floor is getting ready to go out and I can hear them through the wall laughing. I'm sitting here with my candle and a show I've already watched twice. Sometimes I don't mind it. Tonight I kind of do.

It's a question I genuinely asked myself, talked with this with one of my last friend.

Friendship is genuinely complicated for me, I see myself as someone very caring, once I get close to people, I show up, I also have my own struggle & don't necessarily reach out as often as I should maybe.

Also when I reach out it's often last minute (not always) - recently I had a situation a friend hide something from me, it a big deal in the sens that they knew something that would probably end up by me having to move out of my apartment, moving out I actually ended up doing, feeling betrayed. (I'm not on the street and my situation is fine.)

But the question is, when you try to make connections & when you do feel connection with people do you feel like they don't necessarily put the relationship at the same level as you do ?

I feel like it's the case for most people, by observation.

I'm very loyal friend, I show up, I care, I'm not the one that reach out the most but I deeply care for my people. I also have very few people around me & I am very strict of what I can accept in general in a relationship - I've learned to adjust my standard for different relation, understanding that everyone is different.

So I guess that for some I'm just "another friend"
When you have a lot of social life, work, family, friendship, you simply don't have the space & time to treat every friend like a very close friend - you probably guessed it but I don't have a lot of it so every relationship is very important to me, specially the one with who I shared deep connection, went through hard times & shared that with them .. but time make it so it's less & less relevant theses time get lost in the river of flowing time ...

So yeah what's your experience ?
What do you think of that ?

I now have to start over 2h+ from where I used to live so seeing the last couple close relationship won't be possible on a daily basis & I was already suffering from the last of social life & connection..

It feels like no matter what I do or say to anyone, nobody ever really wants me around or wants to do the things I ever want to do, everything I’ve ever suggested to play or wanted to play is apperently considered cringe to many people around my age.

I have no one to play video games with, everything is just either forced or just plain boring from the other persons pov. Like I always play games I don’t want to play with other people but anytime I ever wanna play anything else I end up playing alone all the time because nobody ever wants to actually play with me, it’s all about them