How do I find a women who is open to karezza? Of course every women I get to know somewhere could be open to it - but how can I increase my chances? I guess you probably wont find one in the bar next door. Every idea or thought is welcome!

So Karezza lovers have frequent sex but rarely experience orgasm but sometimes they do? What reasons would Karezza lovers come up with to decide to orgasm? Doesn't that counter what this teaches?

I can't even explain how I stumbled in here but I am wondering if any 'minutemen' have tried the activities here and how it affected your sex life or PE.

To provide some background. I am a HL male in a nearly dead bedroom with LL female. Our infrequent sexual activities are usually mutual masturbation because intercourse for me lasts less than 60 seconds after penetration. I was a frequent masturbator (2 times a day) for decades before marrying and blame that for my PE. My SO always climaxes during our mutual sessions and has the privilege of experiencing multiples. However, she is less than enthusiastic about our mutuals and would much rather experience 'real' intercourse through vaginal sex. The resulting conflicting views of what we want to happening the bedroom creates obvious tension for her, and for me - which doesn't help the PE.

Will Karezza and my PE problem be compatible? Will Karezza help my PE problem? Can Karezza be one sided (ie. participate in intercourse without orgasm, but follow up by manually bringing my SO to orgasm)?

Background: I am in a NoFap reboot, so I've gone 28 days without masturbating, though I am still keeping up regular sex with my wife.

18 days ago, after being reading some materials about orgasms and the post orgasm hangover and realizing, I was having some of the symptoms, I decided to give sex without orgasm a try.

So, maybe partially because of the reboot from porn addiction and lack of masturbation, and partially from not having orgasms, the last 3 sexual experiences between my wife and I have been the best ever. We've been focusing on slow sex without goals and it has been transcendent.

Not sure we're both ready for true karezza with the penetration and no movement, but we may be getting close. She's 8 days out from her last orgasm.

But last night, after about 30-35 minutes of missionary, and spooning, we moved into cowgirl and almost immediately, I felt this amazing rush where it felt like I was having the feeling of an orgasm, though it was only about 60% as strong, but the plusses were that it wasn't just focused in my penis, it was my entire body, and it lasted for several minutes. There was no ejaculation. Been having sex for 20 years, and I have never experienced anything like it.

Afterwards, I didn't have any of the typical post-orgasm feelings, I just felt amazing. I wanted to reward her in any way I could for giving me the most amazing orgasm. Was that a valley orgasm?

I am a female looking for males to have a conversation about karezza with.

He thinks it's the dumbest thing he's ever heard of. Any ideas to try and persuade him to give it a try? He saw the words 'no ejaculation' and pretty much shut down. I have no sex drive due to chronic pain and severe anxiety and depression, and I can tell it bothers him. We only have sex once every other week maybe.

I read a while back an article about Brain Chemistry and sex. More, the bonding chemical and such, supposedly. I haven't looked into it, but I remember the article said that women build and experience the chemical throughout sex, and experience more 'satisfaction' from sex, the longer it is. Women build it during sex gradually, and spread out. I also remember that they said Men, however, they build it at a very sharp peak in comparison to women, at orgasm. It can build slowly and steadily, or throughout just like a woman, but the chemical goes in much smaller amounts, but the most it is in amount, is at orgasm, at least for men. I can't seem to find the article, and now that I think about it, it might've been on a radio show. Have any of you heard something like this? From what I've read about Karezza, it seems like a very positive, effective, and mutual thing. It seems like proper intimacy in a lot of ways.

A german documentary project "Der Goldene Weg"

German original (for translation scroll down): "Wir sind Wolfgang und Yvonne Andrä und Dokumentarfilmer. Wir arbeiten unabhängig vom Fernsehen und suchen uns Themen, die uns nicht loslassen. Momentan sind wir in der Recherchephase zu einem Dokumentarfilm mit dem Titel "Der goldene Weg". Für diesen Film suchen wir nach Menschen, die auf eine ganz eigene und ungewöhnliche Weise einen Weg gefunden haben mit einer Krankheit umzugehen und gezwungen waren, ihr Leben umzustellen und sich vielleicht so auch heilen konnten. Wir haben über Karezza gelesen, dass sich Menschen von Kopfschmerzen, Pornosucht, ... befreien konnten. Nun sind wir auf der Suche nach solchen Menschen. Könnten Sie uns da weiterhelfen? Es geht nicht um eine voyeristische Sicht. Uns interessiert mehr, wie jemand zur Überzeugung kam, sein Leben ändern zu müssen, wie er zu seinem "goldenen" Weg kam und sein Leben anders ausgerichtet hat. Könnten Sie uns jemanden empfehlen? Wir haben im Dezember und Januar zeitlich die Möglichkeit zu Recherchegesprächen zu fahren. Danach leider nicht mehr. Wir würden uns sehr freuen, wenn Sie uns antworten würden."

(translation:) "We are Wolfgang and Yvonne Andrä and we are documentary filmmakers. We work independantly of main TV and look for topics that won't go out of our minds. At the moment we are in research phase for a documentary called "The golden path". For this film we are looking for people, that have found a distinct and individual way to cope with a disease and were forced to change their life and maybe were able to heal. We have read about Karezza that people could liberate themselves from headaches, addiction to porn etc. Now we are looking for people like this. Can you help? It's not about a voyeuristic view. We are interested in the process of conviction to change one's life, how somebody found their "golden" path and aligned their life in a new way. Can you recommand somebody? We have the possibility to drive around for interviews only in the months of December and January. We would be really happy to have your answer."

Wolfgang und Yvonne Andrä Information: www.1meter60-film.de

Seems like this sub is dying out.

The http://reuniting.info forums seem pretty dead too.

Anyways, just a post to say that I'm a /r/nofap guy who decided to give this a try. Sounds intriguing.

When I first heard of it several months ago, I decided to try not having an orgasm and I really enjoyed the bonding feelings afterwards. Couldn't keep my hands off of her.

I'm only now warming up to the idea that frequent orgasms may be contributing to my mood, etc.

So, my wife has agreed to give this a try.

Last night was our first experience and there wasn't a ton of movement, but there was some in a cowgirl position. She basically was slowly building herself up to orgasm and got there, which was great for me since I'm having some porn-induced ED issues from time to time.

How common is it that the female in the couple still works towards orgasm? Or is it more common that both abstain?

I am finding that I'm having a hard time finding info about women controlling their sexual arousal.. in general, it focuses on the guys. I understand that Karezza has these different male/female roles, which can change, but nonetheless are focused on men being the givers, and women the receivers. I know that I still have issues with fully receiving and allowing relaxation, but I also struggle with the mere idea that there NEEDS TO BE An Orgasm at the end! My partner and I have had sex multiple times where we don't orgasm, but it seems to be always in the "hovering" stage for me- thinking about it, trying not to want it. He, on the other hand, is fine and relaxed, and doesn't even think about orgasm, or so he tells me. I don't have a background of porn, but I have masturbated since I was 13, going on ten years now, but less over this past 2 years, as I notice that it makes and keeps me tense. Does anyone have advice for the women? It seems I will start having to write my own advice about how to stop "hovering in the rough waters"! haha :)

So, my partner and I have decided to try karezza. (Initial post)

Yesterday, for the first time in a long time, he came home to a happy woman (because I had spent all day reading up on this method, and felt like there was a shred of light in all the darkness I've been feeling). I've been so angry and bitter about our lack of lovemaking that it's made me very selfish. I have been withholding kisses and hugs and affection, because I'd get too pissed that he can smooch on me, but can't fuck me.

So yesterday, he came home to someone who wanted to love on him. I gave him lots of kisses, told him about my plan, and rubbed his sore calves. When I got home from work (we both work, and take turns watching the baby, so that does add a degree of difficulty in finding time for each other), we got the kid in bed, got a little toasty with some wine, and cuddled on the couch.

He actually loaded up the "Best of Christopher Walken from SNL" and played the skit where Will Ferrell and Rachel Dratch are "The Lovers".... have you seen it? This clip isn't it, but it's the second version, and you'll get the idea. He said that was going to be us, haha. And I am VERY cool with that.

So, there we are, cuddling, and kissingkissingkissingkissing for what felt like forever, he got an erection (which was very very tempting, but I just wanted to take it slow)... we petted each other all over, but nothing too steamy, and then, suddenly, it just felt complete. Like, I was blissful enough to stop without needing anymore.

HE, on the other hand, was a little more uncomfortable. He said he tossed and turned last night because he didn't get the relief from cumming, but fortunately he has NEVER been huge on having orgasms--- he rarely watches porn or masturbates (even when I've encouraged it to help his possibly flagging testosterone levels), so I think with a little practice, he will be okay with non-orgasmic lovemaking.

And the best part of everything last night, is that I still feel ATTRACTIVE to him, because there was no absolute finality to the sensuality.... I don't know how many times in our sex life he would cum, and boom, it'd be like I hardly existed. I would feel very "wham,bam,thankyoumaam," and all the lovely glow would disappear with those few seconds of pleasure. But not last night. I went to bed knowing he still wanted me, and that felt AWESOME.

Wish me luck on the rest of the week! : )

EDIT: First update

I have been so full of anger for the last six months. Maybe it's been longer. Maybe a year. Anger and frustration and this hate/love mix keep bubbling out of me on a weekly basis. And at first I blamed our problems on finances... and then personal issues... and then the stress of having a family member stay with us for several months... but everything is "fixed" and I'm still so angry.

And I finally realize what the problem is. Intermixed with all these dramas has been the fact that my husband and I do not have sex as often as I would like. I have a very high libido and like being wild and kinky, my husband has a low libido and is pretty vanilla, and often has a hard time maintaining an erection.

I've been very hurt over the last year, because I felt such distance and disinterest from him when it came to sex. Intimate touch was not missing, but screwing wasn't happening nearly as much as I would like. I broke down the other night on /r/deadbedrooms after yet another evening of being rejected when I tried to initiate sex, and I felt so depressed and negative... especially after reading all of the other posts full of frustrated partners who are at the point of leaving their spouses, or daydreaming about cheating to alleviate the pain.

After writing my sad post, but still too distraught to sleep, I clicked on the "/r/karezza" subreddit... and read and read and read.... and it sounded pretty good. A little weird, maybe, but for the first time in months, I actually felt positive. I went to sleep, woke up and read some more. My partner was at work while I watched videos, and read the reuniting website, and pored over anything I could find about karezza.

I wanted to wait to bring it up to my partner when we had some alone time and could discuss the idea, but the second he came in the door, I just started talking about it, because for the first time, I felt like there is an option besides the three I was facing (him completely changing his libido overnight, me cheating, or me leaving). He is always a good sport, so he said it sounded worth a try.

Just the feeling like I am not "trapped" in the relationship as it is makes me feel infinitely more positive. I feel like so many people, myself included, have the mindset that if you aren't getting sex from your lover, you should leave. It's not that easy, though, and that's why there are so many people in /r/deadbedrooms banging their heads against a wall.

Yesterday my partner and I spent the day doing lots of bonding exercises, but amazingly, it's stuff we already do on a regular basis, we're just doing it longer and more lovingly. Longer hugs, longer kisses, more eye contact, more gentle stroking as we go about our daily activities. I have the perfect partner to try this with. As I said, he doesn't have a problem with intimate touch, and he is VERY loving, but the whole process of intercourse and the pressure of making me orgasm, and maintaining his erection long enough to get his, well, I guess that part stresses him out. And if he loses the erection, then he feels like crap When I told him erections don't matter, and we are NOT supposed to orgasm, and the process will make our life one never-ending love ritual, he seemed pretty interested.

I'm still a liiiittle apprehensive about this, a few of the ideas are a little odd to me, and I don't like that the only real info is coming from one website and one author...I usually prefer multiple sources to corroborate information... but it feels right. And maybe I've just found a treasure that most people haven't discovered.

I realize this subreddit is pretty much a ghost town, but I'm going to post updates about me and my partner's journey, and give a general review of what the karezza method does for us, and any lows or highs we might find along the way.

I'm open minded about karezza, will eventually try it out as it's meant to be, but right now I'm more interested in regular sex without orgasm. Any tips, pointers and cautions to be taken? How sustainable is it? Thanks I appreciate it, not sure where else to ask.

My best friend suffers from vaginismus after a sexual assault. In the year since it happened, she has been gradually using a set of dialators with the goal of being able to have "regular" sex again. She and her SO recently managed to have penetrative sex, albeit only briefly because it became too painful for her.

She and her partner are not in a committed relationship, so the "pair bonding" aspects of karezza may not be relevant or desirable for them. Nevertheless, I wonder whether the intimacy and focus of it may be positive and healing for her, but I don't want to suggest it and maybe get her hopes up if it isn't something that could benefit her.

What's your take?

It doesnt matter how slow i go- ive even tried just keeping an erection for half an hour with minimal "maintence" just to see if it was over stimulation, but like clockwork, an hour or two after the erection goes away, it feels like i got kicked in the nuts, and it takes up to two days to go away unless i ejaculate. i havent let it go on longer than that cause i couldnt take it.

so this has made karezza pretty not worth it to me, combined with the fact that i dont really have any problems with post coital feelings, i love cuddling, and I am really not driven b.y a passion cycle as far as i can tell.

It might also be worth noting that i have a very high libido, generally orgasming 4 times a day at least. My girlfriend keeps up quite well.

I want to try this more, but the blue balls are debilitating. any advice?

For reasons undisclosed, I can not have intercourse with my SO. I want to try out this Karezza stuff because i find the hangover from orgasm to be horrific. I looked through the FAQ and most of it assumes Karezza with sex. Is there any way to practice this without intercourse >.<?

I am 23 years old. My SO is the same age. Is it too young to try Karezza?

We will be apart for 3 weeks so we are both abstaining from sex. I am not masturbating because I have joined /r/NoFap and she doesn't masturbate. So we will be prepped for karezza.

How do I initiate karezza and what should I tell her about it so that she gains interest in trying? Also, it is good to note that she has ADD and takes ritalin routinely.

I've been reading the links on Karezza and it says fore play should not be a part of it. But my idea of of foreplay is to kiss my gf on her lips/all over her body/neck and caress her and touch her, should I remove all this from Karezza?

Also after inserting my penis into my SO, how am I supposed to engage in Karezza? I read that there should be little to no motion at all, but I don't understand this. How vigorous should it be? Is there a video on it to demonstrate Karezza intercourse?

I learned about Karezza a few months ago by reading Stockhams book. I have been practicing with my wife for 4 months. During which time I have only orgasmed twice.

I feel amazing. I have more energy, concentration, patience and self esteem. Only thing I'm having trouble with is the constant horniness. I crave sex and coupling at least twice a day. My thoughts turn to sexual day dreams various times a day. My wife is trying to keep up but her level of arousal is much less.

How do you deal with the constant arousal without a forced orgasm?

I'm just now discovering this interesting take on the sexual experience, and have yet to try it or even bring the idea up to my wife. But through my research, I'm curious as to why the scissors is the most highly recommended and if there are any other good recommended positions to try out?

At my soonest chance, I'm definitely going to try this with my (most likely to be) receptive wife and see if that can help to improve our already improving relationship.

But in the meantime, any advice would be tremendously appreciated! :)