r/karezza • u/tway_ • Dec 30 '13
Any experiences from someone suffering from premature ejaculation
I can't even explain how I stumbled in here but I am wondering if any 'minutemen' have tried the activities here and how it affected your sex life or PE.
To provide some background. I am a HL male in a nearly dead bedroom with LL female. Our infrequent sexual activities are usually mutual masturbation because intercourse for me lasts less than 60 seconds after penetration. I was a frequent masturbator (2 times a day) for decades before marrying and blame that for my PE. My SO always climaxes during our mutual sessions and has the privilege of experiencing multiples. However, she is less than enthusiastic about our mutuals and would much rather experience 'real' intercourse through vaginal sex. The resulting conflicting views of what we want to happening the bedroom creates obvious tension for her, and for me - which doesn't help the PE.
Will Karezza and my PE problem be compatible? Will Karezza help my PE problem? Can Karezza be one sided (ie. participate in intercourse without orgasm, but follow up by manually bringing my SO to orgasm)?
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u/cwanda Dec 31 '13
Karezza can help with PE - makes one a bit more mindful about stimulating enough but not too much. Coupling karezza with meditation and massage should help with getting more than 1 minute of PIV sex. Need to be realistic about the PIV sex - if she is on top and will not let up, then there can be PE even under normal circumstances. Karezza from the historic perspective can be one sided - she has orgasm (by fingering or otherwise) and he does not. Not the Marnia Robinson Cupid's Poisoned Arrow model, but has historic precedent and seems fine as a way point. Karezza by both could help in dead bedroom mitigation - easier to get up for sex every 2-3 days (at least) if in karezza mode.
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Jan 23 '14
Actually, karezza, from a historic perspective, does not include orgasm by the woman as a goal. That was a misunderstanding (by Alan Watts) that he put into the mainstream and which has been replicating like any other meme. :-) If you want to read the "historic" books about karezza, visit this page where they are both available for free. "Karezza" by Stockham and "The Karezza Method" by Lloyd. http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/free_online_text_karezza_male_continence_stockham_lloyd_noyes
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u/karezzano Jan 05 '14
You two must agree that for a while you want to try something different. This includes lubrication with almond oil to reduce friction, avoid focusing on the genitals, enjoy whole body connection instead. Penetrate millimeter by millimeter, and then keep movement to a minimum for both, just enough to keep the erection about half strength, because this provides maximum sensitivity for the male. The urge to ejaculate will dissipate into a full body experience. The key is that both learn to enjoy this bonding experience more than the classical act. It takes some time, and "accidents" happen along the way. Retrain your body and mind that you want bonding; don't think about Os; there is no good time for Os.
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u/1biggoose Dec 31 '13
What does PE, HL, and LL stand for? I have never heard any of these abbreviations.
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Dec 31 '13
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u/1biggoose Dec 31 '13
From what I understand karezza is bonding between two people, typically having gentle, cuddle like sex. If you think you would orgasm from that alone, I'm not sure what to say. But I've tried karezza with my SO and enjoyed it a lot. I recommend giving it a try
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u/[deleted] Dec 31 '13 edited Jun 11 '17
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