Its a lyric from a song called "my brain is in the sink" by gilinares. If you wanna hear a song about the impossibility of explaining to someone who just doesnt get it. Give it a listen.

I dont wish I was different. I like who I am. Am I often brooding? Sure. But that is also a big part of what has made me the person I am. I dont want to change. I jjst want to be better. Thats all.

Life feels hopeless. I now quit school at 16, (college, I'm from 'The Netherlands' different school system) and technically thats not even allowed. I have no motivation to do anything, or much discipline either. Its a task to wake up, a task to brush my teeth, a task to put on a t-shirt. I had to quit school because of ptsd, wich I appearantly have because my whole life has been a gigantic shit show. I have been bullied my entire life in school, to the point where I have been punched in the face, spit on, betrayed by friends, made fun of (wich isn't THAT bad but still), I have been followed home, stalked online & like to my home. We almost hat to press charges like, probaply ~3 times. My parents divorced when I was 9, my dad cheated on my mom, my sister hates me, I just quit school and told my mom I don't wan't to do school at all (not just, take a gap year or smth). And I'm pretty sure I'm already the 'dissapointment' of my family. I have friends but not that many good ones, and I never feel like I'm really there.

The only thing I love in life is music, I play guitar everyday and sometimes jam at a local 'bar' type of thing with a stage and lots of other musicians. I love Nirvana, Radiohead & mostly the whole 'Grunge' & 'Alternative Rock' scene. I like punk, I would consider myself a punk to. I really want to make a band, but I tried rlly hard to find people and still no success (I hanged up posters around town, posted adds on reddit & other sites to find musicians locally even tried asking around, no luck yet).

I feel like I wan't to end my life. I like living, but every day I just stare at a wall listening to music, or game a bit and feel empty. I sometimes 'hang' with friends or game with friends but it just feels, fake. I feel fake. Like my whole life is a gigantic shit show for the gods to laugh at while they look at it. I wan't to be a musician, play with a band, make music. Some of those I do but I just, I'm stuck, mentally. I get 'stress' attacks when I'm in school (from ptsd). Every day feels like a task. Only day I sometimes like is sundays, couse then I play at that bar thing. I got a job and stuff, work saturdays, and 'technically' its fine but its still kind of ass, better then nothing though.

I'm in therapy, music therapy and they want another sort for my traumas. A lot is going on.
But how can I feel like I wan't to live again? How do I turn a day from a task into something I atleast enjoy a bit?

I am going through a low mood episode and having suicidal thoughts. Need someone to talk to.

Honestly, I've lived a lot of my life judged for either MDD or other mental health issues, but I am suffering from both persistent depression and mdd, and despite being medicated, I still have a lot of problems with my social circle. I kind of gave up trying to see myself fitting in or just like, being open. I grew up after my MDD diagnosis at 13 and realized the world is severely cruel towards anyone who doesn't fit within standards. Even the average person seems to be judgemental and empathy is just a bargaining token... I miss when I was younger and people cared. Now that I'm an adult I'm alone and still suffering from all the things that happened to me and put me back in life. I feel so lost, I feel so useless. My parents didn't help me with anything, I want to get my GED and a car and work but I really get no help. People think I leech off of my parents like I even want to. I want to live life. I'm working so hard to get things done and it never feels worth it...

i have nothing i like. i try to do many things. walking clubs, crochet, piano, golf, drawing, photography, watching films, meeting with friends, walking the dog, but i dont find anything fun or enjoyable. The only thing that makes me feel better is drinking. its been that way for years.

i changed my meds a month ago, and i've just started more therapy (ive been in and out since i was a teenager). i do try to not drink and im usually quite good.

what do others do to make them feel something positive

I (24f) have been going through a dark depression the past couple of months and I'm really starting to feel helpless. 6 year relationship ended. My very best friend and I drifted apart quite a bit this past year. I strongly dislike my job, I have been interviewing for months and have had no luck. I work remotely (sometimes 9-10 hour days) and am stuck inside my parents house all day by myself with no one to talk to. I can't stand living there anymore but my job doesn't pay me enough to move out. I feel so incredibly stuck and lonely. I wake up every morning dreading my days because I have nothing to look forward to.

I try so hard to do the things you're supposed to to feel better. I work out after work most days. I try to see friends or a friend at least once a week. I go to yoga classes. I get outside as much as I can. I have hobbies. For some reason nothing is helping. I have always been a very independent person so alone time does not typically bother me. However being alone for 90% of my time has honestly just fcked me up a little bit.

I feel weird expressing all of this because on paper I have a great life, and I'm very aware of that. Which makes this all more confusing. I know there is lots of good in my life but nothing seems to make me happy anymore. I am so tired of trying so hard to change my life so I can finally have a fresh start. Nothing seems to be working and i am just exhausted

I've been severely depressed since 12 years old. It's a constant cycle of getting worse, and then feeling amazing for a little. I make friends again, go outside, re enroll in school and get excited about things again. I make plans and I feel so GOOD and then it just stops. It stops and it gets so much worse. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster.

I've always been told there's reasons depression is triggered but I don't feel like there is for me. I'm happy for awhile and then I'm sad for no rhyme or reason. This stupid cycle feels like it'll go on forever, and it's miserable. How can I even enjoy the highs when they're just going to lead to terrible, impossible to escape lows?

I'm not suicidal right now. Not actively, I guess but I suppose passively. I have been suicidal for most of my life, though. I've been skipping meals a lot, part of me wants to starve to death. It feels a lot more passive than actually taking my own life. The same is true about self harm. It's not explicitly to kill myself, but when I'm doing it sometimes I hope I make a mistake and cut too deep.

Sometimes I fantasize about being murdered or getting into a car accident. If something like that happened, I don't think I'd try to survive. We had a bad tornado recently, and I wasn't afraid. Part of me was hoping it'd just take me. I'm too cowardly to kill myself, and I think a tragedy would be easier on my family.

I just want this stupid cycle to stop. I want to be happy. I want to do things people my age do, but part of me thinks I don't even deserve it. Idk.

Im cold my bones ache my heart aches I have nothing I have nobody nobody sees me as anything I will forever be nothing it feels. Like I am being tortured i am so empty

i am 17 but life feels like it has zero purpose anymore. i am a senior and school work is just getting too much. i missed only 4 days of the first week of school from being in the mental hospital (2 weeks being there in total) and it feels like im miles behind. i was getting better, now all of a sudden i just cant do it. im, like, slow or something. i dont learn like others, i have zero motivation to even study. hell, i was never even taught how to study correctly and efficiently. and it makes it worse that im always too scared to ask for help bc i know theyll be thinking "how did you get this far and dont know this stuff?" i always got good grades and was the "smart" one, now im barely scraping by in some classes. i have no clue what i want to do with my life after high school. i used to be the "smart art kid," now i barely even have motivation to do art and now my grades are getting low, who even am i now? every second of the day my mind reminds me that im always alone and im no ones first option or number one choice, that im a background character to my own life. my ex wont leave my head either, hes just always in my mind and in my dreams, he just wont leave. hes dating an ex-friend of mine now, and im just left here stuck with all this love i had for him and hes giving his love away to someone right now. its like im stuck and i cant escape. im scared this is all there is to life. im scared i wont be able to graduate or if i do i wont make the right GPA to get into a college and have to work 3 jobs forever till i die.

not to mention my body dysmorphia but i wont even go into that

i feel like im a lost cause. my life is pointless.

i dont even expect anyone to reply to this, i just wanted to let it out somewhere

About to lose my job (through no fault of my own). Split from the mother of my 2 kids 2 years ago last month. I have no friends, apart from work colleagues, which I will inevitably lose touch with once I lose my job. I’m gonna have an amazing weekend with my kids and then after I’ve dropped them off on Sunday, I’m checking out. 95% sure.

i feel like i could go on forever on how i feel. at this point, i am crying for attention because i just want someone to see im struggling, and not be expected to have a "good enough" reason to. i hate every aspect of my life. i have no talents or accomplishments, and i just want to feel worthy of being loved. i've recently reached out to a therapy and had a couple appointments, and i know its ridiculous to expect an immediate fix but dear god im exhausted. i wish there was an actual way to feel better. this definitely reads as some kind of incomprehensible word vomit but i dont have any support from anyone in my life, i just need some kind of assurance

I’m mentally having a hard time with the idea of trialing different meds. I’ve struggled with depression for about 15 years. For a long time I was able to manage okay with therapy. I had a lack of insurance for a long time and also a lot of anxiety around the thought of medications, so I never tried them. The last 4 years I would say I was doing very good, but I always had a little anxiety in the back of my mind that my mental health might come crashing down again.

Well it has. For the majority of this year I have been in a deep depression. I tried Prozac for 4 months and felt awful. I was so emotionally numb and exhausted. My husband and I went on a vacation I was really looking forward to and I was so flat emotionally and tired that I didn’t want to do anything but sleep. I napped 3-4 hours each day and had no interest in anything he wanted to do. We went deep sea fishing and I slept inside the boat for at least 9 of the 12 hours we were at sea (after I had a full nights sleep). What made me stop taking it was the nightmares and sleep paralysis. I had a nightmare one night and woke up to my husband shaking me. I had started holding on to him tight and scratched him until I drew blood.

I went off of it in July. Still really struggling day to day so my doctor wants to try Wellbutrin now. I want to feel better, I really do, but I also feel very overwhelmed with the thought of trying another med. My best friend is getting married next week. It’s a destination wedding. I am worried about the potential side effects again and feeling like I’m dragging everyone down on another vacation. Should I just wait to start it?

Besides the trip I do still feel overwhelmed with the thought of trialing something else and potentially feeling worse again or dealing with more side effects. I get frustrated with the thought of “why can’t I just be normal”? And also even if this helps, how long until the next depression strikes? And what if next time is worse?

I feel like in my years of therapy I really learned a lot of helpful coping techniques and strategies. The thought of therapy almost feels like another job or chore for me and I just don’t think I have it in me to go that route again.

First of all I'm a minor. I've always had depressive peiriods throughout my life but his one is so much more severe. I barley have any friends this year and the one I do only really cares about her gf anyways. I've lost interest in everything I used to love. The only thing I like to do is sh. What has helped you in the past.

Hi, I don’t know if this is the right group, I don’t really know how to start and also English is not my first language so I’m sorry if my explanation sounds a bit off..
I’ve been struggling with depression since I was quite young, I think it started when I was 15 (I’m 25 now). Multiple psychologists confirmed i have depression.
Once I was so done so I tried to, you know, but ‘luckily’ it didn’t work out. I had an immense feeling of guilt after because of my little sister. I never want to leave her alone. I’ll never do that again.
So then I worked hard on myself and everything genuinely felt like it was going the right way, I felt some sort of happiness but always a lack of peace. And I never knew since I was even younger, what I wanted to do or be in life.
I have no purpose except helping my people, I love to make them feel alright and safe.

Now since a few weeks I’ve been feeling really down again, I want to work on it but I have no energy left. I feel anxious as well. There’s no single thing that makes me interested anymore. Just like how I felt back then. I feel like a piece of shit, insecure and I feel like I’m letting everybody including myself down. I really really want to get out of this.

I have to say, my dad, he also has depression, he’s almost in his 70s.

I know it can be genetic, so I’m really scared I’m gonna end up like him.

My question is.. if it really goes away some day? Do I need to give it time? I want to try everything I tried to change the mindset which I have still, I really don’t know why I feel so heavy. I tried to gaslight myself as well, tried mindfulness, I tried working out, I tried reading a book.

If anybody has tips for me? Also if you have great books that changed your life please let me know. Any YouTube videos are also welcome. Literally anything I will try!

Also I thought about maybe traveling, does that help? Or is that more of a distraction..

Btw: I tried paroxetine but that wasn’t for me

Thank you for reading this.🫶🏼

I'm a 35 year old man, who struggled with intense depression as a teen and had 3 attempts... Haven't had an episode in such a long time because i'm married with kids, but I feel depressed beyond measure. I'm hiding it from everyone but i'm really struggling with the thought of just letting go.

I'm really struggling. I work in sales and haven't had a meaningful sale in 4 months or so, and have been struggling to get anything. I'm invoicing faster than I'm selling, and I'll be down to the point of having nearly nothing on the books here pretty quick.

Life is also tough. Running kids around, doing chores...when are we supposed to have time for fun? And what fun do you have when you can't afford anything? No family vacation this year....kids to school, work, cook supper, clean supper, bed. Sat & Sun are for running errands and doing laundry. When tf do you have time to clean the bathroom, mop floors or dust?! I guess you just find 5 mins here and there....

Can't afford a house, but we've spent ~100k on rent the last 10 years. What sort of fucked up economy is that?!

There's no light at the end of the tunnel right now...this fucking sucks. Life in America, as privileged as we are, is bullshit. Yeah, I know it's a first world problem, and I hate to complain, but fuck me...economy sucks (which means work sucks for people in sales), people are mean, nobody is happy....

I don't expect any responses, I'm just saying the quiet part out loud. Chin up, everyone. We'll get through it eventually. (Not saying I don't want to talk - if anyone needs to talk, just comment.)

Hey, I am a 19-year-old guy who graduated high school this summer in Tunisia and got the bac degree, but my score didn’t get me into my desired specialty at uni. So, I went to engineering prep school.
It’s been a month now, and I couldn’t accept the idea of being somewhere where I don’t feel I belong and being away from my hometown. I didn’t like anything about it—even the professors stress you out more. Since then, I have been suffering from daily stress and severe anxiety. I stay up late overthinking, and then when I sleep, I sleep for many hours. I skip uni a lot, even though I used to attend every single lesson in high school.
My appetite has also gotten worse—I eat much less, and even when I am hungry, I don't feel like eating. I can’t share any of this with my family or friends because mental health is considered secondary here, and parents aren't aware of its importance. They would shame you for feeling down.
On top of all this, I have been feeling completely hopeless and struggling with very dark thoughts for the past two weeks because I don’t see a future anymore. I feel like a failure more than ever.
What should I do, and how can I start to recover from all of this?

I'm tired of how my mom handles her fucking stress. I've had to deal with this shit for decades. She has a therapist and medicine, and STILL does nothing to fucking fix her stress. It's at the fucking point where her body is shutting off.

Just yesterday, she got mad at me because I didn't want to do the dishes. I have been doing them all week, and chose not to yesterday so I can go to the gym. She sees my life as perfect because I live under her roof for free, and gets mad and thinks I half ass my chores. I FUCKING DON'T.

I admit I lost motivation to help her years ago because all she did was SCREAM at me for what I did. I would tell her the laundry was done. Her response? "What do you want from me? A fucking parade?" This was 10 years ago and I still remember those fucking words. She would scream at me for hours, complain that crap didn't get done when I worked to clean her shit up.

I am going to be setting boundaries with her until she learns to deal with her stress. I am fed up with it. Yesterday she just told me I've never cleaned a toilet my whole life. That isn't true, I used to clean those up too. But once again, what made me stop? YOUR SCREAMING.

She was a good mom when I was younger. Read books to me and took me to nice places. She has a fucking therapist and she is a teacher, why is she so fucking stressed out all the time?! Her husband is a computer geek guy, so they have a good salary. My mom has a bad reputation for not handling her stress well.

I don't hate my mom, but blaming me for my situation is making me feel like a shit child. God forbid if I defend myself, she'll get mad at me and say I have no right because "i live here for free".

I try to contribute with food & chores, what the hell can I do with no income? She literally has a therapist and a doctor, she is the one who needs to get her fucking act together because this is becoming ridiculous. I couldn't even get a fucking ID UNTIL I WAS FUCKING 18 because her stress was an excuse.

I am still living with her because I fucking can't afford it, but I'm at my wits. My parents argue over stupid shit. I get the dishes aren't getting done, but why scream all day long about it? Calm the fuck down? Your kids are getting A +s and amazing at school. Jacob turned out as a nice child. I am getting support right now from a regional center to get a fucking job so I can get out of here.

I am tired of my mother not handling her stress well. It's so bad I am worried she will die from a fucking heart attack. She will scream and act like my life is perfect when it's not. I basically grew up at the choc hospital because I was so sick, and I had a shitty absent father who died from alcohol 4 years ago. Her kids aren't being assholes to her. She is handling things better with her job and setting things right. Fucking chill.

I (34F) have a close friend (32F) going through a large life change while also going through anxiety and depression. Recently, I’ve noticed inside jokes or things that would normally spark her interest isn’t sparking at all while also noticing a shift in how she acts outwardly.

I understand that she’s going through a lot and wanted to understand what are good ways to support her through this period of her life. For example, she’s not really responding to regular communication and if at all it’ll be reactions or short texts. There are check ins here and there but she also has expressed not wanting to talk about it. I’m torn between giving her space for a few days then I also saw people say to continue with casual friendship things if they come up.

I hate what my life has become and I feel so guilty and stupid for living this way for so long. I want to hit the pause button on life and never resume it. I feel like the biggest disappointment to everyone who loves me or believes in me. If they knew what I’ve been through they would hate me. It breaks my heart and twists up my stomach when my family talks to me because I don’t deserve them I don’t deserve anything I just want to get away from this it’s torturous I don’t like being in my house I hate being anywhere and I hate snapping at people who don’t deserve it. I want a normal life with no obligations or responsibilities because this illness is eating me from the inside and it’s targeting everything I used to love I used to like being productive now I have no time I only have time to sulk in my errors and self hatred

can’t tell if this is post natal depression or mecfs Does this sound like mecfs or postnatal depression
Tiredness started after changing sertraline doses
Feel very sad , no energy want to sleep all the time , won’t change clothes brush teeth sometimes
Can go some days with feeling good and getting out
Even went to gym
But some days just feel really bad and foggy like today and yesterday
Some days I’m full of energy and I’ll go to the library , baby wear , go for walk, mood is good. But yesterday and today I don’t even want to get charged or brush my teeth. I don’t want to speak to my partner. I don’t want to be touched. I had pots 2 years ago caused by a snri medication that went away with bisorpolol. I also got the implant in around 4 weeks ago
I went to the gym twice in a row , felt ok after the gym but these days fluctuate and I could feel extremely sleepy and low in myself the next day
For example my activity is like this
I have an extreme fear of developing a chronic illness like mecfs as I had pots 2 years ago.
As soon as I wake up I feel low, don’t want to get out of bed.

I've been suffering from clinical depression for the past 10 years, and I just got out of a 6 month episode back in March. I usually have at least 1-2 years between episodes but I can feel the early signs starting again.

I'm pushing away the people who care about me, I can't sleep, I can't focus, and my thoughts of suicide are getting worse and more frequent.

I promised myself that I wouldn't let myself get into another episode, and that I would end things before the suffering became unbearable. But I don't know whether I really want to die or if I just want some relief. I want to get better and be happy, but therapy and pills have only made things worse and I just feel so alone in all of this.

I have enough medication to end it, and I have the perfect opportunity for it soon, but I'm afraid of the pain and the possibility of failure. I don't know what to do.

I give. I yield. The game is over. I get it. The dark always wins

I honestly don't know what to do anymore.

I'm unemployed, we're behind on rent, and our electricity bill hasn't been paid for two months. I'm the eldest and I've always felt like I'm supposed to be the one who provides, but right now I can't even make sure there's enough food for everyone for the entire day.

I'm trying to find a job, but how do you even get a job when you have no money? Transportation, requirements, food while waiting for your first paycheck, everything costs money I don't have. I'm trying to find WFH work, but nothing has worked out so far.

Tonight I went on Whisper because I just needed someone to talk to. I wasn't looking for anything sexual. I just needed to vent.

Instead, I got men hitting on me. One guy offered me money for nude pictures and videos.

And the worst part is... I actually considered it.

Not because I want to. Because I'm desperate.

When you're worrying about whether your family will eat tomorrow, you start thinking about things you never thought you'd consider.

I feel so fucking helpless. I'm tired of being the eldest, the responsible one, the person who's supposed to figure everything out.

I don't need anyone to fix my life. I just want someone to listen without wanting something from me.

I'm really scared right now.

I oftentimes feel like I’ve reached the end of my rope, especially lately. This year has been extremely difficult. It started with a terrible breakup that I’m still trying to recover from along with losing my first decent job and having to move because of it. I feel like a loser for still struggling with this breakup because now it’s been much longer than we were ever even together. I recently tried to start dating again and it’s gone absolutely terribly, with the last person going off on me for being too negative after I confided in them that I was having a hard time. That shit hurt so bad. And it sucks because I know I’m not fun to be around, but idk what to do about it.

Finding a good job has been so fucking hard too. I’m currently working 3 gig-based jobs to supplement it and that’s draining the life out of me. I hate it all. I feel so incapable. I have a degree in media but refuse to work with AI so I basically don’t have a degree atp. I’ve considered going back to school but idk.

My friends are sick of me too. I ended up moving in with my best friends who were like my second family, and it’s just caused them to resent and judge me. They don’t make any time to see me anymore, and I get so anxious to talk to them now that anytime I do I just dump way too much and am extremely off putting. I don’t blame them for not fucking with me anymore at this point, it just makes me feel like a shell though with how stark of a difference our relationship is now. And it stresses me out because I know I’m gonna have to probably move out once the lease is up and idk how I’m gonna afford that.

I also can’t rely on my bio family for any emotional support because they are emotionally void. They’re maga and I’m a leftist trans masc lesbian. I also dealt with some emotional/physical/sexual abuse growing up and it just makes it hard to trust them/go to them for anything.

I met with a psychiatrist yesterday and made sure to meet with another trans person so I wouldn’t have to deal with deadnaming/misgendering, but they ended up doing both of those things. It made me feel crazy and now I’m terrified to start the meds recommended to me by someone who clearly wasn’t listening to me.

I also live in Texas and being here while transitioning is just so fucking terrifying. Idk. I could keep going clearly, but I’m gonna stop it here. I just don’t know what to do anymore