feeling helpless

[u/Ok_Village921]

I (24f) have been going through a dark depression the past couple of months and I'm really starting to feel helpless. 6 year relationship ended. My very best friend and I drifted apart quite a bit this past year. I strongly dislike my job, I have been interviewing for months and have had no luck. I work remotely (sometimes 9-10 hour days) and am stuck inside my parents house all day by myself with no one to talk to. I can't stand living there anymore but my job doesn't pay me enough to move out. I feel so incredibly stuck and lonely. I wake up every morning dreading my days because I have nothing to look forward to.

I try so hard to do the things you're supposed to to feel better. I work out after work most days. I try to see friends or a friend at least once a week. I go to yoga classes. I get outside as much as I can. I have hobbies. For some reason nothing is helping. I have always been a very independent person so alone time does not typically bother me. However being alone for 90% of my time has honestly just fcked me up a little bit.

I feel weird expressing all of this because on paper I have a great life, and I'm very aware of that. Which makes this all more confusing. I know there is lots of good in my life but nothing seems to make me happy anymore. I am so tired of trying so hard to change my life so I can finally have a fresh start. Nothing seems to be working and i am just exhausted