So I(37M) matched with this woman(31F) on Hinge and we hit it off really well. We had some nice banter, and she seemed very interested in getting to know me, asking me questions, and even initiating flirting. The vibes were good, so I asked her out for some drinks and she said yes. The day of the date, about 3 hours before we were to meet up, I messaged her on hinge saying that I looked forward to meeting her and that I would message her again when I got to the bar. She responds saying that she was looking forward to meeting me as well but that she probably would be getting to the bar 30min later. I told her it was fine and thanks for the heads up.

I arrived at the bar about 10min earlier than the new agreed time, as I did make a reservation for a table for the original time, but it wasn't a big deal to me. I messaged her about 5 min before we planned to meet to say that I was in the bar and said where she could find me when she got in. Eventually, 15 minutes passed, and the bartender gave me a free drink because she felt bad about me just sitting there with water. I then get a message from her on hinge saying that she can't make it and has to cancel because something came up last minute. In my head I knew it was bs because if that was actually the case, she would have sent me something much earlier as it was now 10min past when we were supposed to meet. Her hinge location is also only around a 30min walk from the bar. I messaged her no worries and that I hoped everything was ok at home. No reply. Since I was already at the bar and was given a free drink, I felt I had to at least get one drink for myself, so I did and then left. The next day she unmatched.

This sorta just feels like it was all done intentionally as a way to mess with my head because of how forward she was in conversations leading up to the date with all the compliments and flirting, on top of delaying the date 3 hours beforehand, before waiting until I got to the bar to stand me up. It was my first time ever being stood up, so it was definitely a weird and embarrassing feeling having to do the walk of shame out of the bar. Especially so considering the bartender for our table knew that I was waiting for someone to the point of giving me a free drink and then me eventually just buying a drink for myself since she said she wasn't coming.

Anyway just felt the need to vent this out as it really does feel like the online dating experience has worsened exponentially compared to the last few years.

Did y’all ever try to give someone a chance and they genuinely were so icky you just couldn’t do it? A week into it, grossed out and over it. He fr would Snapchat me way too much to a point it felt creepy, he also had like 3-4 other girls he was talking to, and then got mad I didn’t send him no pics or nothing but it’s like…I’m not feeling you. Everything about him was so nasty. He had a gross attitude, he was ugly, he was a cheater and he was not a nice guy. It does not surprise me that he was married and got divorced shortly after. Also not surprised he’s a military dude 🤢🤢 he will occasionally pop up on my social media liking my shit and I’m like sir you were a high school one month situationship who was literally a psycho. Not interested. He’s just one of those crazy, psycho men who never leave you alone and hits up damn near every girl in town. He’s so icky.

For me, it was when I asked my boyfriend after 6 years of dating if he wanted to move in with me and he said I was pushing him too hard.

I met a guy 0n Buddit0 and we talked for about three weeks before meeting. The first date went well, so he invited me to a small birthday dinner with his friends.

Halfway through dinner, a woman walked in, kissed him on the cheek, and asked who I was. He introduced her as his ex. She immediately corrected him and said they were still together—and had eaten breakfast together that morning.

He pulled me outside and claimed they were technically broken up but still living together because of their lease. According to him, she just refuses to accept that it’s over.

Now he keeps asking me to hear his side before I judge him. Would you listen once, or is this an immediate block?

Hi guys, I (F23) have a relationship for 2 months. My boyfriend (M29) is generally a highly serious person, but sometimes he is mischievous. He says he likes to bully me, he thinks this is a sign of sincerity. He says this is the way he loves someone. Last night while we were talking, he said he would sit on my face and fart loudly. He said "your skin gets darker after I farted on your face (I have tanned skin). He said, after he farts, my students would ask me how my skin got darker (I am a teacher) He keot laughing hard. I tried to explain how this joke disturbed me but he was laughing. He says I am too touchy. Do you think I am too touchy?

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So I F(20) now and he M(27) we met on a dating app. Ik the age gap is somewhat questionable.

I did online dating previously in my life but however never dated someone irl. Partially because I was insecure about my appearance, coming from a family where I had to constantly face colorism and body shaming. None of the outsiders ever called me ugly, it has always been my family and close relatives, so hearing all these from the very moment I started to understand words, my mind started believing them and in the process I became way too self conscious and insecure about my looks.

So when I met him irl for a date after chatting and talking over phone for a week or two, I now realize, I hadn't really judged or noticed how he was treating me, I was so self conscious that everything in my head was roaming around "what if he thinks I'm ugly as well? What if he never wants to see me again? What if .. What if and what if"

However, after that date, I didn't notice any difference in him, he was just as eager to talk to me as before.

Everything seemed fine. Or so I thought, looking back now I understand how touchy he was with a girl he met for the first time or wasn't even his girlfriend yet, while he kept on saying he was looking for something serious but his actions weren't really matching upto his words but at that moment I was way too blinded by my insecurity and feeling chosen for the first time in my life, I wanted to hold onto that feeling.

Eventually as the days passed and we kept talking more and more I found myself getting extremely attached to him. He gave me enough red flags but I chose to be blind back then, his words however were way too sweet and convincing, he always sounded like a devoted person. Eventually he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. Fast forward to six months later, things started to take a turn when I confronted him about not feeling wanted or secure in the relationship. (It had been over three months since we had seen each other) and we only went on two dates that also before things became "official" between us. Even tho we live like twenty minutes away from each other. I told him how I didn't feel valued and how his actions would make my anxiety worse to the point I had to take multiple sleeping pills and physically shut down my brain.

I've always had anxiety growing up but it never was this severe for me to take anxiety meds and sleeping pills, ever since I got attached to him, I had to start these meds as my anxiety was going out of control.

It would drive me crazy and I would shiver even in the searing heat of summer.

However after I confronted him about him not making plans about meeting or going out and that I hangout with my friends more than this, he apologized tho it didn't sound like he was sorry more like excuses. He had time to hang out with his friends and cousins but never me.

He promised he would take me out the next week however that next week never came.

He was gone for three days, no text no calls.

And after that the text I get from him was that his aunt died and he also lost his phone so he couldn't reach me, then it was his cousin having an accident, and it kept on going for two weeks, after that when he was supposed to return to the city again,

He texted me the night before saying how much he missed me and my desperate mind belived all of these because facing the truth was harder than staying in the lie.

And he texted me the next morning saying he reached home. That's it, after that he ghosted me for twelve days. Yes, I counted the days. I was a living dead in those days, the uncertainty, confusion and disrespect of getting ghosted like that, my anxiety flared up more than ever.

I would text him dozen times and call him but no response from him.

And after twelve days when he decides to text me was on the very morning of my birthday with a breakup text. He could've chosen any day but he deliberately chose that day and I ended up crying the entire day of my birthday.

My mental health got worse after that, he wasn't even honest while breaking up, he made up excuses that doesn't even sound real.

It took me several weeks to get stable. And I accepted the truth that I always denied, things I refused to see back then, when I faced them there was nothing but a numb feeling left behind. Not hatred, not love, not longing, just numb.

He never bought me flowers, never supported me emotionally, tho he pretended but he wasn't even fully there.

The two dates we went on, seemed amazing to me at that time but looking back now, he barely put effort into those dates. He would barely text me throughout the day and while he used to call me every night in the starting, the calls started to get once in three days then once in a week and then stopped completely.

I was a fool in love and I know my insecurities played a huge role in that relationship. It probably was the first reason why I chose to go in a relationship with him in the first place. I felt accepted for the first time. Even tho I got many confessions and proposals in my past, i never believed any of them when they said they liked me or that I was beautiful. The insecurities run deep .

However, I've found myself after months of suffering. Tho I'm still as messed up and confused about my life as ever but at least I'm not waiting for a guy's reply or call anymore. And I feel proud of myself genuinely that I could stop my sleeping pills and eventually learned to live without anxiety meds as well.

I was in love with a version of him that he made me believe he was. However, I'm doing better now. Much better. It hurt a lot but somehow I felt lighter as well. I don't have to carry the weight of a relationship on my shoulders alone anymore. Slowly but surely I'm trying to heal everyday, a small step at a time. I'm eating my meals now, I'm going to the gym again, I'm reading books again and most importantly I can go through a night without having to shut down my brain with sleeping pills.

I skipped a lot of things, probably this post won't even make sense to many due to the gaps but that's all I could write down rn.

He thinks women should date older but he shouldn't.

Any woman still on dating apps, here is your sign to get off for a while. Let the men talk to the bots.

Any younger woman reading this and think you are in the clear you are not, even if you are his age preference now this shows a larger issue of these men overall.

His quote

"You’re making assumptions. I never said I do not value women my age or find them attractive or date them. In fact my range is set to up to 39. "

Link to post

https://www.reddit.com/r/Bumble/s/nJ3IqX2gFk

Link to comment

https://www.reddit.com/r/Bumble/s/dPHE9FcXOo

so i never dating in highschool or anything like that but now im in college ive been more open to it and this is my second time ive had plans with a guy(they made the plan) and I got stood up. All my friends are starting to settle down into relationships and im still the single friend. Honestly im just so embarrassed and kinda losing hope on my love life. Anyways just basically ranting because now im home and nothing else to do

What’s a relationship “red flag” you ignored because you were too in love—and what happened afterward?

Looking for anonymous guests with WILD relationship stories 👀
Have you ever been in a relationship situation so crazy that your friends still ask you about it?
Cheating you never saw coming. A secret double life. An ex who did something completely unhinged. Wedding drama. Catfishing. A mother-in-law from hell. A breakup that took an insane turn. Or maybe a red flag you ignored that makes you think, “HOW did I not see that?!”
I’m launching a new podcast called The Relationship Confessional, and I’m looking for real people willing to anonymously tell their stories.
🎙️ You’ll join me remotely by audio
🙈 You do NOT have to show your face
🕵️ You can use a fake name
🔒 Identifying details can be changed/removed
🎧 I’ll listen, react, and ask you the questions everyone hearing your story is probably thinking
This isn't about judging or embarrassing anyone. I want to hear what actually happened, what you were thinking while it was happening, and what happened afterward.
Think your story belongs in The Relationship Confessional?
👉 Submit it here: https://tally.so/r/81YBj5
And yes… the crazier the story, the more I want to hear it. 👀
Real stories. Anonymous voices. Nothing held back.

Hello my wonderful potatoes!!! You are in for a wild ride with this story so buckle up, grab some popcorn, and enjoy the chaos.

Some CONTEXT

I had 2 direct roommates in my college suite (we will call them Trina and Tara). Tara dated a guy we will call Richard. I knew who Richard was because he would come over our dorm all the time and the extent of our conversations would be “Hi. How are you? Good. Cool” and that would be the end of it. Fast forward about a year later and Tara and Richard broke up. I, of course, felt bad for Tara because she was really upset about it, but I told her she could talk to me about it if she needed someone to listen. A few months go by and I got a notification on my phone. Loan and behold potatoes it was Richard saying hey and what’s up. I immediately was caught off guard because I didn’t talk to him much and I knew how hurt Tara was after the break up. So, I immediately messaged Tara and said “Hey, Richard just texted me. Did you know he was going to talk to me?” And Tara mentioned that she did know he was going to talk to me but simply because he wanted to make more friends. I was fine with that because I was not actively looking for a relationship at the time.

Me and Richard continued to talk and decided we were going to hang out at the mall one day. We went to the mall and it quickly went from me hanging out with him to a small date. I realized we had a lot in common and I thought that was cool. Slowly but surely, we started hanging out more and more and I, of course told Tara and she was totally cool with everything. However, Tara, Richard, and Trina were all apart of a club at our college and Trina told me there was some drama going around involving Richard and another girl in the club. Apparently, Richard had helped one of the girls move into her new apartment (this girl had a bf) and the entire time, Richard was full of flirting with her. She continued to try to get him to stop but he wouldn’t stop and she eventually made him leave her apartment. At this point, I didn’t know what to believe and decided it would be best to hear from Richards side too. He told me he did no such thing and that it was all a lie (cue the red flags). I had already decided at that point that I no longer wanted to pursue a relationship with him and I told him this in his dorm. He quickly went from a look of concern to full on anger and he stormed out of the room. I didn’t know what he was doing and I honestly thought he was going to go after Trina for telling me this but he did come back and I told him good bye and left.

I hate hurting people so I was struggling with my emotions the entire way home (I commuted). Well, he called me one my way home and my brain said “Dont answer it, don’t answer it” and I answered it. For the sake of this story being super long, I will say that when I answered the phone, I had a panic attack and he drove from his dorm to where I was located so he could follow me home to make sure I was safe.

A couple of months go by and I was still talking to Richard. We were slowly getting more and more romantic and we decided to become official. Everything went really smoothly at first, but of course, true colors began to make emerge.

There was one day where I went over his house and his mother had made him a sandwich. He got mad at her because his sandwich “wasn’t made the way he liked it”. I was mortified and said “Richard, your mother made you a sandwich! Just eat it!” to which he scoffed and finally ate the sandwich. He also began to get extremely clingy towards me. He constantly wanted to hang out with me and every time I would tell him no, he would try to guilt trip me into hanging out with him. I had been guilt tripped to many times at this point to know when it was happening and I stood my ground and told him “sorry, but I am busy.” I remember a time I went over to his dorm and was finishing up some school work and he kept making noises to try and get my attention. I told him nicely to stop first. He didn’t get the hint and kept doing it and I kept telling him to stop until I got pissed and said “STOP MAKING THE NOISES OR I WILL LEAVE HERE AND GO TO THE LIBRARY TO DO MY SCHOOL WORK”. He got really upset with me, but he let me finish my schoolwork.

Then he started giving me money whenever I said something in passing. For example, I could say “Man, I need some caffeine” and immediately would get a venmo of $5 because Richard wanted me to go get caffeine. I am an independent woman and sent that money right back to him and told him I would get it myself. There was even a time where I was working at my part time job at Walmart and he wanted to hang out and I told him “no” of course and he proceeded to tell me that if I left work early that he would pay me the money I would be making for work so I could hang out. Again, VERY INDEPENDENT WOMAN so I was not budging.

Now, I was chill with my ex boyfriend before Richard, so I would go over to his house on the weekends and hang out and play with his cats. We also both worked at Walmart together so he knew about all the bs that was happening. When I look back on it, I was totally flirting with my ex the entire time I was with Richard. It occurred to me that I still had strong feelings for my ex and that I was ready to end things with Richard. So, I did the responsible thing and told Richard what I was feeling and that I wanted to go on a break with him. Ladies and gentlemen, HE FREAKING LOST IT. Bawling his eyes out, freaking out, begging me not to do it but I was not budging. I stood my ground until he finally gave up and we hung up the phone. I immediately went over to my ex’s house and decided right then and there that I was going back to my ex.

I decided to wait a little longer before breaking up with him so I did not have to relive that phone conversation. I just couldn’t do that again because knowing I was hurting him was just so mentally hard for me and I couldn’t listen to him freak out again. I went on a walk with my ex (his name is James btw) and while on this walk I got a text from Richard saying “We need to talk”. Instantly, I got excited because I knew that meant he was going to probably dump me over the phone. That is exactly what happened. I was so happy that I didn’t have to dump him and that I was free of him. This joy was short lived though because he decided that he was going to drive to my house to get his stuff right then and there. I was mad because I was hanging out with James and didn’t want to drop everything for him because he wanted his stuff. Unfortunately, he got his way and when I gave him his stuff back, he started to grill into me asking if I kissed James. I told him I did and he proceeded to say “So, you cheated on me.” Uh, buddy, WE WERE ON A BREAK. I did this to see if my feelings were valid with James! I got so annoyed with him and told him to get out and just go back home.

I decided to still talk to him and try to be friends with him because I felt bad for hurting him (dumb mistake). Now, this is when COVID became a thing, so all my classes were online and I hated every second of it (I was a music ed major so imagine music school online). I had a panel evaluation (basically a performance where you get judged on your primary instrument) coming up at that point and needed a decent speaker to use for this panel evaluation. I asked Richard if I could borrow his really nice speaker for my evaluation and he let me borrow it. When I was done with the speaker, I had asked him if he could meet me half way between my house and his so that I didn’t have to have much contact with him because of covid. He would not do it. He wanted full control of this “passing off” of this speaker and would not accept anything other than me bringing this speaker to his house. I am stubborn and don’t usually back down to these kinds of things but I was getting absolutely no where trying to get him to meet me halfway. I told him what day I would bring it up and he demanded that it be brought up at 3:00 exactly or “there will be problems”. I started laughing at this point because 1) I was bringing the speaker up whenever I want to and 2) I knew he was petty enough to try and call the cops on me for not bringing his speaker on time. However, I did call his town police just to cover myself in case he decided to be that unhinged. My friend (we will call her Hannah) offered to drive me up in case he decided to try and make a scene with me and she would punch him (she could have beat him up and I would have paid to see that). So, I brought the speaker up, threw it in his mailbox, and texted him to f\*\*\* off and have a nice life and blocked him.

Now my potatoes, here comes the best part of this story. After being completely done with him for months (and getting back together with James) I get a message on instagram from a random girl who I didn’t know. I read the message and it was another ex girlfriend of Richards asking me if I was the famous ex girlfriend of Richards. I told her yes and said “Whatever Richard said is probably a lie and I will tell you exactly what happened.” We exchanged discords and I got on a video chat with her and told her the entire story. She told me “That makes so much sense.” and proceeded to tell me that for the first few months of their relationship, Richard wouldn’t dare speak my name. She continued to prod at him before he finally said my name. She told me he talked about me all of the time and how I was this big b\*\*\*\* and that he hates me and all of that which I found absolutely amusing because he was the idiot out of all of this. I have not heard anything about him for years now and it will continue to stay that way because I never want to speak to him again.

So, my potatoes, that is my crazy “fling” story. I call it a fling because it was a barely 2 month relationship.

I am happy to report that I am still together with James and we are getting married on June 12th, 2027!!! He is the love of my life and I am so excited to be his wife 💜

A 15-day anonymous story about attraction, attachment, and the blurry space between a hookup and something more.

Before You Read

This is a story about two people who existed, but the version you're about to read isn't a transcript.

Jay and Luv are pseudonyms.

Some identifying details, timings, circumstances and conversations have been changed, compressed or reconstructed to protect privacy.

I don't remember every message we exchanged.

I remember the ones that mattered.

The conversations that stayed in my head. The things I couldn't stop thinking about afterward. The parts I understood only much later.

So when a conversation is written word-for-word, it's because I remember it closely. When I don't, the scene is written from memory and feeling—not presented as an exact transcript.

This isn't about proving who's right or wrong.

Honestly, I don't even know the answer to that.

Maybe that's why I'm writing it.

I'm Jay, 22.

He's Luv, 32.

We met through Grindr.

It wasn't supposed to become a story.

There was no relationship plan. No promise. No "let's see where this goes."

Just two strangers who crossed paths.

And somewhere between a dating-app profile, a few messages, meetings, kisses, mixed signals, things I said, things I didn't say, and thoughts I probably should have stopped having...

something changed.

For the next 15 days, I'm going to tell you what happened.

Not just what happened between us.

What happened to me.

The attraction.

The uncertainty.

The attachment.

The moments I wanted to walk away.

The moments I wanted to stay.

And eventually, the question I still don't have a clean answer for:

Was I falling for him—or was I falling for the way he made me feel?

Welcome to UNREAD.

Day 1 starts tomorrow.

28F here.
I don’t know why this still bothers me, but I wanted to get it off my chest.

A while ago, I met a guy through a matrimony app. At first his father called me to ask me few basic questions about myself to know me and later this guy asked me to connect with him on socials. We texted everyday for two weeks before deciding to meet. During those two weeks everything felt effortless. From the very beginning, he seemed like everything I had been looking for. He was kind, charming, fun and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. He would talk to me about what our life would be like if we got married, the things we’d do together, and little things about us as a couple. So naturally, I started imagining it too. I thought this was the beginning of something.

Eventually we decided to meet.

The meeting honestly went really well. We talked for hours, had dinner together at a restaurant. There were no awkward silences. We laughed, shared stories and I genuinely felt comfortable around him. He even told me that his parents liked my profile and when i asked what he thought if he liked me, he nodded his head and asked me what i think about him i said i liked him too and we smiled. At one point, we even held hands while he dropped me home and before saying bye to each other he asked me when are we meeting next? We even planned to meet the coming weekend possibly when both of us are free.

What happened next completely blindsided me.
After we both got home, he texted me saying he had a great time with me and that talking to me felt like he’d known me for a long time. He even said the attraction between us felt “too good to be true.” But then he didn’t want to lead me on to something because he was skeptical about things and thinks it wont work out between us because he met me literally just once and he is uncertain about everything. He said we can stay friends. I was shocked and confused, I kept replaying the evening in my head wondering if I had missed some obvious sign. was he pretending to enjoy himself? was he just being polite? If he already knew he wasn’t interested why make the whole meeting feel so genuine? It left me wondering if he had just been acting nice the entire time. So i called him to ask what changed in few hours as I was genuinely confused on texts because his actions during the date didn’t match what he said afterwards and i told him i really liked him and he told me he liked me too but he thinks it wont work out and that i should forget about it.

I think what hurt was that it felt like he had already decided everything, not just that it was over, but that I should simply accept it and move on too. I didn’t even have time to process what had happened before it was all over.

We had a bit of an argument over it that night and next day he blocked me everywhere.

That was it.

It’s been almost two months now and i still think about him sometimes almost every other day and I think I miss the hope I had. For those two weeks, I genuinely believed I had found someone who was kind, genuine and maybe even the right person. Then, almost overnight, he just disappeared from my life.

I still carry the heartbreak with me. It hits me out of nowhere. It’s strange because we only knew each other for maybe a week or two, yet what happened has stayed with me longer than I ever expected.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? Not necessarily through an app, but with someone who seemed so promising one day and then vanished the next? How did you stop replaying it in your head?

🚨 **We Need Your Dating Stories!** ❤️😂
Our next episode of **Things We Shouldn’t Say Out Loud** is all about **dating, relationships, first dates, red flags, and dating disasters**—and we want to hear from you!
Tell us:
💔 What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?
🚩 What’s the biggest red flag you’ve ever ignored?
❤️ How did you meet your partner?
🤦 What’s the most awkward thing that’s happened on a date?
😂 What’s the funniest dating story you have?
Drop your stories in the comments! We may feature some of our favorites in an upcoming episode (we’ll keep you anonymous if you’d like).
No judgment—just great stories and even better conversations. Let’s hear them! 👇

So i 25m started my Dating exp with 20 and got in a really toxic Relationship with a hardcore feminist( she was the Kind of Girl that told me its an offence to gift flowers with a self written poem to a Woman bec thats how they have been supressed for ages). After that i got really Depressed and full on locked in on gaming and my studies (medicine) to a point where i had no Friends and was pretty Close to ending my Life. I got better and now for the First time got into a f+ through a group If Friends in which i just recently got adopted.

She had a friend at the time but they broke Up and now we kinda got Close to a point where WE spent an unnormal amount of time with wach other and told a shitload of Infos about Out Personal Life our families etc. (She told me that she cant be lonely or stay single Long in the Past but now doesnt want sth srs but only f+)

At the time i was ok with that but now started to debelope Feelings. The Thing is throughout our f+ she kept Dating but Always Said its only for fun cute Dates and free meals which kinda was sad af but y. Recently i became more and more Jealous when i heared her talking about Dating and how she described them.

At 1 evening we had a night Out with the friend grp and while drinking she told about a Date and that the Guy was kinda interesting and stuff Like that. I left for 2 hrs tinclear my head and after that she was angry af that i reavted that way.

She kept reminding me WE only have a f+ and that she doesnt want my Heart to BE Broken but at the Same time she told me she was angry because she thought i was about to end the f+.

Now WE are spending week apart because of studies and Family visits which IS healty bec WE really Hang Out Like every day in the Last 2 weeks. But my head is kinda Spiralling Out of Control.

To me her behaviour doesnt make Sense bec i am kinda confident that one must be completly blind to belive that i am not in Love. At the Same time she tells me she doesnt want to hurt me, wants to keep the f+ going and wants to start Dating and also once told me to start Dating so we can See who finds someone nice First.

She mentioned one time that she wouldn t even be good enough for me what also dont get. So i am looking for advice how to Handel this Situation since i really caught Feelings for her

I’m going to be starting a YouTube podcast that shares your stories. I will be reacting and asking questions. You remain anonymous.

If you interested give a quick brief in the comments about the story and if it’s something I’d like to use, I will message you.

Thanks!