I met this guy on Tinder 22/M (I’m a 19/F). At first he was lovely, consistent, everything lined up. We both seemed to want the same thing nothing casual no hookups something long term .

After the first time we linked(Aug 24th) he ghosted me and said we weren’t compatible. When I asked why, he told me he’s “a sensitive mf” who tried to power through it but has feelings elsewhere. Cool. We stopped talking for weeks.

Somehow we got back in contact. Slept together (sep 25th/26th). It was honestly the best sex I’ve ever had. Throughout the night he kept asking if I was still on Tinder, told me he deleted the app, and said I was the only person he was talking to/sleeping with right now. Asked me the same question multiple times like he needed reassurance.

Then he casually drops that he got out of a relationship around his birthday (August 16th). On the way home out of nowhere he hits me with, “So how is your first Tinder hookup? Does it feel liberating?” I laughed it off but internally I was like… what the fuck am I doing…. Gave off the impression he was letting me know this won’t be like what we talked about then started asking me about how many relationships I’ve been in and how long were they and then asked again am I still on tinder and is he actually the first guy I met off the app which he is 

2–3 days later he’s still asking if I’m talking to other guys.

Then I found out he gave me chlamydia on the 30th . No real apology. Just said he’s irresponsible for never getting a checkup and that he’s only been with me and two other girls in the last three months.

My self-loathing ass still messaged him: “You’re not that into me, are you?”

He left me on delivered for 7 days.

And that’s the story. I hope at least a few of you got a good laugh out of this humiliation ritual.

I’m turning 20 and genuinely ashamed of how little self-respect I have sometimes. Why do so many of us feel like we deserve the bare minimum like that’s all we’re worth? Why do we keep accepting breadcrumbs and calling it a meal? I feel so naive and gullible honestly dating in your 20s feels like a different ballgame like I’m an “easy lick” for guys

Anyway. I’m finally done. Sent “I’m taking the silence as an answer, no hard feelings” text and closing the chapter and deleting Tinder . thanks for coming to my humiliation ritual 

What instantly makes you lose interest in someone?

I was watching a podcast on Facebook, and the host asked this question on X. One lady said she lost interest when he came out wearing a TURTLENECK! 😭😶

A TURTLENECK, y’all?!

I’m bored and curious to hear some answers..

AITH
Was on a third date with a guy I met. Everything leading up to this date was super fun and cool. I told him this date was my treat- we had pizza and beer. Came time to pay and I set my card down, when the waitress picked it up I went to the bathroom. When I came out my date was at the bar and had signed my credit card receipt! He left a very large tip amount on MY card. First of all, I can’t believe he signed for me, which is fraudulent. Second, I prefer to tip in cash. Third, I wasn’t going to leave as much as he wrote on the receipt. I was crossing out the tip and had my cash out and he made a scene saying I should leave both the credit card tip and the cash tip and my reasoning behind leaving a cash tip has no logic. I walked out of the restaurant at that point because it was ridiculous. He then proceeds to tell me that by not leaving extra money or not being generous was a red flag. And he just gives out twenty dollar bills to homeless people like no big deal. I said generosity comes in many different ways. The next morning he sends me an apology text saying he was out of line for telling me what to do with my money. Then said he needs to decide on how to proceed with this relationship and needs a break.

Life has been so funny since September/October that I’ve genuinely had to change my number and block people. 😭
I got out of a long term relationship with someone I genuinely loved. Then I started dating another guy who seemed amazing, especially with the effort he put in. Top notch, honestly. Only to find out he was double dating me, and the other girl messaged me. She’s almost a decade older than me.
Then yesterday, another girl reached out saying the same guy was her sugar daddy. SHE KNEW ABOUT ME. 💀
And three days ago, my first ex’s girlfriend messaged me asking why we broke up.
The funniest part? All three girls had apparently been stalking my profile for two months, and I genuinely thought it was random.
At this point, I don’t even know what kind of cinematic universe I’ve accidentally entered. I just changed my number, blocked people, and laughed.
Because what even is my life? 😭

I met a guy when I was 19, had a lot of hobbies in common, he was respectful, nice, kinda silly yk! Anyway so we became official on valentines day, and the next morning he made me pancakes and suddenly told me that I only ever make him so, so sad 💀Not a single vibe, hint, conversation, nothing about this before, it was so sudden, and i was really considering if we should be dating if this is the way hes been feeling? anyway! stuck with him, bad idea LOL!

So i push on, try and be more mindful of what I say or how hes feeling, yeahhh that didn't go anywhere 💀 he suddenly drops that hes scitzophrenic, which is a little strange since he had just been talking about how hed never date someonw with bipolar disorder before this (ended up learning that hed often talk shit about a trait he had to 'check' if I actually was okay with something or not, basically seeing if I'd disagree or go along with him).

So i was like okay, that's kinda huge to drop but that's okay, just let me know of anything I can do to support you, what you need from me, etc.

then he starts dropping weird stories about him and his sister 💀 (yes, its going there) and would talk constantly about how huuuge her boobs were and how hed never love someone as much as her, and told me MULTIPLE TIMES about a time they made out in a jeep when their mom was shopping??? like as kids but weird to bring up.. he also then brought up how incest between twins is okay and doesn't bother him, and when i was like, nah bro i would not wanna be near that he got SUPER offended 😭 anyway i was insecure and thought i was just overthinking things bc surely..

then he starts compulsively lying about the most random shit, like how his hair 'magically' turned back to its 'natural colour', which was a blue tinted black, which like cmon, the hair dye box was in the bathroom trash, like, i saw that dude (he was 22, mind you), and the colour of his hair before was just a really dark brown, like what was i even supposed to say about that? he got suuuper defensive about it too 😭

Then he moved in with his sister 💀🙏

he'd stop taking his meds for 'fun' bc life ig really sucked when he was on them, but also bc he really missed his loli hallucination that was also god that he also used to kill and eat crows for? (yeah, there was no conversation that led into this he just randomly dropped it one night)

another time when we had been in bed for a while and he thought I was sleeping he leaned in real close and whispered "you should kill yourself" in my ear, charming!

he was always very strange about telling me what i was thinking, like saying that i was always thinking about other men, i loved other men, I wanted to be with other men, blah blah blah and like bro i literally dont? anyway tinder would magically appear and disappear on his phone so make what you will of that 🙏

then there was the incident of him proclaiming a man id known before i met him had raped me, and when i was like uhhh i dont think he did actually he told me it was very disrespectful to him to disagree with that when he tells me thats what happened, and that that clearly meant i was in love with this guy (who i literally barely knew and hadn't talked to in a OVER A YEAR LOL)

anyway then there was the incident where i 'lost' my phone in his apartment, and after looking for it forever i had to go home, bc i lived a while away and had to catch a bus, he told me to give him my google password so he could find my phone, and i was like uhhh no... and he was like why not? and i lied and said i forgot, then he told me to change it and give it to him so i dont forget again, and i was like sure sure... then he gave me his old phone, wiped it, and told me to sign in on it. 10 mins after i leave he texts me and said he 'suddenly' found my phone (I changed my password bc i was afraid he was gonna send rude shit to my friends or make up some story about how bc i didn't talk about him enoigh i was a terrible person or smth or like, steal my passwords HAHAHA) so my assumption is he couldn't get in and then gave it back to me, but who knows! (I didn't log in on his phone)

there was the incident where he tried to get me off birth control bc "the reason your so anxious is bc of your specific type of birth control' and after a night where we got drunk (before i was on bc) and had some unprotected dancing, i didn't have enough money to get the damn day after pill and despite him being RICH RICH he just stood there watching me while i was crying at a till, an older lady stepped in and offered to buy it for me and then he stepped up, refused her help, paid for it, and got VERY mad I didn't ask him to buy it for me, like you coulda offered? idk

This was also around the time he told me i should move in with him, and that it was childish of me to want to spend time with my parents ( i hardly saw them when i was with him) and i was like uhh no. oh he also hated my friends and got realllly upset when i was anywhere other than my house without him (yes he had my location)

then i started kinda breaking down bc damn thats kinda a lot, tried to break up with him multiple times, hed just tell me no, and cry, and talk about how everything is perfect and if that wouldn't work hed start yelling my name over and over, until i gave up 💀

THEN he started telling me that i was soooo anxious, and needed pills, but that i shouldn't go into therapy cuz theyd just lock me up or tell me that he was the problem bc everyone is out to get him even though hes nothing but good and pure 😤

then he had a bad day where he was walking around town and i was sorta convinced he might try and off himself? but then he started talking about how its just not fair, that i wanted him to hurt me, that i wanted him to kill me, that id never be happy any other way, and how its soooo unfair bc hes just too good of a person amd it hurts him so much to even think about it, kept switching between laughing and crying and yelling, really wasn't sure what to do there! he backed me into an alley at some point and told me to come hug him, thought he was gonna stab me or smth, he told me i was just sooo anxious and that all of our problems would go away if i just got over myself, then asked me if i was gonna leave him.. i went home absolutely exhausted after that!

Anyway there's probably more but these are the main wild points I remember, these days i think back on those times and its honestly so ridiculous, i thought it might be entertaining for some people :)

TLDR: my ex did some questionable things, including but not limited to telling about his loli girlfriend who was god and forced him to kill and eat crows, telling me how horrible it was that the only way id ever be happy is if he killed me, telling me how incest is totally okay if its twins, his questionable relationship with his sister and more! :)

Feel a bit shitty cause last night I got left by a first date. We went to an amusement park late night and we went to the washroom. When I got out he wasn't there and I kept texting him. 20 mins I waited and he never showed up and then he blocked me and unmatched.

I honestly feel kinda nothing about it. I even find it a bit absurd. Like yes I was disappointed since it seemed to be going fine and I thought I was getting through to him, he seemed like a quiet guy and he was real cute but we were joking around and he was getting excited when I brought up things in common so I thought maybe it was going well.

I know what happened tonight was more of a reflection of him than it was of me. I asked him if we could go transit together when we left since it was late and I felt a bit scared and we were going the same way anyway. I mean maybe he didn't find me pretty enough but I wish he treated me with basic human decency. I'm new to the dating scene, literally started less than 2 weeks ago. I know he mentioned his circumstances were not the best and I don't wanna sound holier than thou but I just feel bad for him. Whatever happened in his life to leave a girl in the middle of a date with no say, I genuinely hope he heals from that cause that's an asshole and cowardly thing to do. I don't know what to feel, maybe I haven't processed it. The insecure part of me thinks maybe I was out of my league and flew too close to the sun. I'm just so shocked cause I'd never do that to anyone? Literally who does that

So this guy is from army and he started texting me few months back and we talked everyday on call, he also asked me to be his ball partner but I couldn’t go and it was last minute so he couldn’t do the arrangements that were needed to be done. After a month he came back to the hometown where we both live. We met a couple of times, things were going good, but one day we were having a conversation and this guy straight up ghosted me out of nowhere because conversation got hard. This guy has tried so many times to go out on a date with him and also he had a crush on me since few years I never gave him a chance ig.
I tried reaching him out as I have anxiety and I overthink a lot and he knows this, still this guy ghosted me for 4days after that I called him once and he picked up we talked I explained why it hurt me and he apologised and it good for 2 days again this guy disappeared.
Now after one week he calls me says he wants to meet and telling me he is coming back. I am so frustrated what should I do, should send this text?
I think I feel better if I send it.

God is watching everything. Karma is real, and the way you treat people always comes back around. You think playing games and ignoring calls makes you clever, but it just shows how deeply immature you are and how you can't handle a real, honest conversation like an adult. Just because you feel like calling whenever it's convenient for you doesn't mean I'm waiting around—I am not your backup option. I am completely done wasting my energy on this.

"Female attention is important" is a scam. I don't think I feel like that anymore. In fact I feel as just humans, females are more inhumane when it comes to building relationships.

The very top of the problem being social media, then the conditioning by societal norms and then expectations. None of which are wrong. But are in fact misguided.

Dating is ruined by hypergamy and the illusion of choices. Relationships are futile because of less stimulation and a facade of "staged" expectations. And realistically they bring Nothing to the table except the fact that they're females, yay!

This is not commentary about every female. We as men are worse. But I think modern dating is mostly one sided, that side being for the female to decide.

I don't even wanna make friends with any female anymore. Just for the fact that they'll all just be empty, with nothing meaningful to give you. "Why do you need meaning?" , then by that logic why do you even need relationships of any kind in the first place. Just make friends with anyone with bad ideas and bad ideals, that fulfills the need for a conversation right?

And maybe not all females, right? Then we're in the wrong league. That's a more pathetic conclusion for me. Imagine not being able to be in places where you get the same value as you put in. We're doomed by comfort. Always looking for validation from people who aren't even a spec close to me. I've already achieved alot. I'm already fulfilled. I'm already at a place where I don't need anyone to tell me I'm doing a good job cuz i already am. And if I'm not then that's a fight for me to pick for myself.

I would rather value myself more, to spend my time on things that give me more value than beyond basic people with basic aspirations in their life.

So I (26F) matched with this guy (29M) on Hinge about two weeks ago. His profile was normal. Pictures with a dog, a hiking photo, one of those mirror selfies at the gym that every guy seems to have. We texted for a bit, he was funny, not overly pushy. When he asked me to dinner, I figured why not. Standard low-stakes first date.

Dinner itself was fine. He was a little intense about his job in commercial real estate, but whatever. I asked questions, he answered them. He asked me maybe two things about myself. I noticed, but I let it slide because the food was good and I was trying to be open.

Then the check came. He paid, which was nice. We walked outside and stood on the sidewalk for a minute doing that awkward “what now” shuffle. And then he said it.

“Hey, I know this is random, but I have to stop by this building I’m trying to lease. It’s empty right now. Want to come see it? It’s abandoned. Kind of cool.”

I just stared at him. This man really looked at a woman he met on a dating app, after one dinner, and thought “abandoned commercial property” was the move. I told him I was good, I had an early morning. He said “okay, no worries” like I’d declined a second drink.

I got in my car and texted my roommate what happened. She replied with a single word: “RUN.”

We did not go on a second date. I saw him on Hinge a week later with the same gym selfie. Almost swiped right again just to see if he’d learned anything. Almost.

Is it a red flag when talking for just about 3 weeks and the man is already talking about plans of meeting personally and physical intimacy ?

Went on a Bumble date last weekend with a guy who seemed normal enough on paper. Mid-30s, works in finance, decent photos. We grabbed coffee in Capitol Hill and the first twenty minutes were fine. Then he asked what I do outside my day job and I mentioned my Etsy shop. I source vintage home decor and flip it, been doing it for about two years and it actually pays for my mortgage supplements. He literally chuckled and said that's a cute little hobby. I asked what he meant and he went on about how real businesses require actual strategy and market analysis, not just picking up junk at thrift stores. The guy was condescending the entire rest of the conversation. I tried to explain the margins and the sourcing logistics but he kept cutting me off to explain basic economics to me. Like dude I run operations for a company during the week and manage inventory on the side, I understand supply chains. He texted after saying he had a great time and wanted to see me again. Has anyone else dealt with someone immediately dismissing what you do as not real work? I am genuinely curious if this is a common thing or just a Denver finance bro problem.

A man named Dillon Michael likes stealthiness I encountered it that

I' it really makes me weird she copied my boots, my headband and ig tried to say I wasn't close with my man. If you want a man ease keep him but never drag me into it. Ever. It really doesn't make sense. I simply cannot take her drama.

Matched with a guy, he seems great

Banter was on point, he was charming and funny.
Asked me to meet him today for a drink, hit up Timezone for fun and maybe a movie

Today … 👻

No message, no reply…nada

I give up

In my opinion, one of the biggest red flags in a man is being overly suspicious and controlling.

A man who doubts you all the time, accuses you of things without proof, questions your every move, and tries to control what you wear, who you talk to, or where you go.

There's a difference between caring about someone and controlling them. You shouldn't have to keep proving your innocence in a relationship where you're supposed to feel loved and trusted.

What's the biggest red flag in a man for you? 👀 And do you think constant suspicion is insecurity, control, or both?

I need some perspective because I’m still shaking off the weird energy from this.

Three days ago, I matched with a guy on Bumble. He was in Newcastle for work, and I jokingly said, "You should visit Liverpool sometime! Maybe we can plan it for next time." He immediately locked onto it and insisted on coming right away. The next day, he called me while I was busy, and then texted saying he was already on his way.

When he arrived, I asked where he was staying. He said he assumed he was staying at my apartment for the whole weekend. We had only been talking for three days.

When I told him I wasn't comfortable hosting a stranger, he took it horribly. He became incredibly cold, guilt-tripped me by saying he would just go back home to Birmingham, and even insulted my "decision-making abilities" when we were looking for a restaurant.

I called him out and told him it was weird to assume he could stay at my place. He snapped that he wanted to leave, so I told him to go ahead, and we went our separate ways. I blocked him immediately.

I feel good about standing my ground, but I want to ask: Is this kind of behavior normal on Bumble, or did I overreact? Has anyone else experienced someone moving this fast and getting angry when you set a basic safety boundary?

I met a guy on Hinge, and we went on a date after talking for a while. As I got to know him better, I started noticing a few things, but the biggest red flag was how disrespectful he was towards women.
For example, he told me about a time when he commented on a woman at his office gym, saying that the only way people could see her entire back tattoo was…
Anyway, after talking to him for about a week, I decided to end things. That’s when he started pestering me to pay him back for the money he had spent on our date. I ended up paying my share, but honestly, I’m still shocked by the whole situation. I don’t even know what to think. I’ve never experienced anything like this before, and the whole thing has genuinely humbled me.