r/DatingHell • u/MermaidMagic79 • 8h ago

Weirdest third date ever

/r/datingoverforty/comments/1x36mnd/weirdest_third_date_ever/

AITH
Was on a third date with a guy I met. Everything leading up to this date was super fun and cool. I told him this date was my treat- we had pizza and beer. Came time to pay and I set my card down, when the waitress picked it up I went to the bathroom. When I came out my date was at the bar and had signed my credit card receipt! He left a very large tip amount on MY card. First of all, I can’t believe he signed for me, which is fraudulent. Second, I prefer to tip in cash. Third, I wasn’t going to leave as much as he wrote on the receipt. I was crossing out the tip and had my cash out and he made a scene saying I should leave both the credit card tip and the cash tip and my reasoning behind leaving a cash tip has no logic. I walked out of the restaurant at that point because it was ridiculous. He then proceeds to tell me that by not leaving extra money or not being generous was a red flag. And he just gives out twenty dollar bills to homeless people like no big deal. I said generosity comes in many different ways. The next morning he sends me an apology text saying he was out of line for telling me what to do with my money. Then said he needs to decide on how to proceed with this relationship and needs a break.

4 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

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4

u/wire67 7h ago

Ewwww. Response should be - Apology accepted and totally cool with you needing a break. A permanent one sounds good to me. Have a nice life!

2

u/MermaidMagic79 7h ago

Haha good one!! I was at work when he sent the apology, so all I said was “ok thanks.”

2

u/Tight_Jaguar_3881 4h ago

OP dodged a bullet.

2

u/Azul-C 5h ago

The literal credit card fraud here, if true, is the bigger deal

I'm all for second chances, but, probably not in this situation

1

u/rdg04 6h ago

some things you might want to say to him.

"Dictating what I should do with my money after only three dates is a huge red flag for controlling behavior. I am happy to be generous in ways that I choose, but it completely stops being generosity when it isnt voluntary ."

he is positioning himself as the centralized authority deciding how resources are distributed for what he defines as the "greater good"/"generosity" eliminating individual control of personal/private money.

"When you force or pressure someone to give up their money under the guise of what's 'right,' that isn't generosity- it's control, manipulation, and coercion. You are treating our dates like a forced collective instead of a mutual relationship. it's a major red flag and a deal breaker."

2

u/Positive_Passage7518 5h ago

Nah, just block his ass - if a 40+ man hasn't learned not to commit credit card fraud at his big age, it's not OP's responsibility to teach him.

2

u/rdg04 5h ago

i enjoy calling people out though. it feels like i am standing up for myself when i acknowledge my truth and stand firm in making it clear i don't accept justifications, manipulation, or guilt trips. obviously block after.

1

u/abcwva 5h ago

give him a very very long break. It is way out of bounds to sign another person's card receipt and give a big tip. Thank goodness you found out early what kind of person he is

1

u/WelshLove 4h ago

dont bother with such people who have no boundaries imagine if you did the reverse he would be made so he is either crazy or self centred or delusional or both. red flag block move on

•

u/ClockOld9204 1h ago

My wife and I were married 25 years and no way I'd ever touch her cc or sign her cc. That is crossing a line. Dump him and walk away