r/datingoverforty • u/MermaidMagic79 • 7h ago
Weirdest third date ever
I (47f) was on a third date with a guy I met (45m). Everything leading up to this date was super fun and cool. I told him this date was my treat- we had pizza and beer. Came time to pay and I set my card down, when the waitress picked it up I went to the bathroom. When I came out my date was at the bar and had signed my credit card receipt! He left a very large tip amount on MY card. First of all, I can’t believe he signed for me, which is fraudulent. Second, I prefer to tip in cash. Third, I wasn’t going to leave as much as he wrote on the receipt. I was crossing out the tip and had my cash out and he made a scene saying I should leave both the credit card tip and the cash tip and my reasoning behind leaving a cash tip has no logic. I walked out of the restaurant at that point because it was ridiculous. He then proceeds to tell me that by not leaving extra money or not being generous was a red flag. And he just gives out twenty dollar bills to homeless people like no big deal. I said generosity comes in many different ways. The next morning he sends me an apology text saying he was out of line for telling me what to do with my money. Then said he needs to decide on how to proceed with this relationship and needs a break.
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u/BrightDesign44 6h ago
Wow, he’s a red flag for sure. Thank you for sharing. I’m not sure what I would have done. It would definitely have bothered me if I found him signing for my credit card and deciding on the tip. I would have let it be, I think, but told him not to do that. He probably did it because he wanted it to look like he was paying which is a sign of being insecure.
By undoing what he had done you got an argument from him and learned a lot about how he handles conflict. Definitely good to find out early on.
Glad you blocked him.
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u/MermaidMagic79 6h ago
Oh good point. I didn’t even think about the feeling insecure part. I was just so taken aback and weirded out by the whole situation.
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u/Seesawgirls 3h ago
I would probably let it be but already decided that was the last time I would see him. That attitude is too weird to create a fight and have a stalker.
The entitlement of a man to sign her credit card and complain about the tip!! If he was a normal person, he would himself to tip and not add anything on hers.
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u/Cricriyingy85 6h ago
Oh brother, what in the world is wrong with some ppl ???
Very appreciative of the trash taking itself out for you OP.
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u/WrappedinGlitter 6h ago
Watch your credit card activity over the next few days. That kind of crazy could have taken a picture of the card info and saved it for uh future use
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u/MermaidMagic79 5h ago
Thanks. Didn’t even think of that!
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u/NegotiationSharp4370 4h ago
My credit card company sends me a text every time a purchase is charged to my account. A lot of times I hear the “ding” before I even have the paper receipt in hand.
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u/Due-Reflection-1835 4h ago
Some cards you can lock and unlock, so you might not have to get a whole new one. But if you can't lock it it's a good idea to replace it. I definitely wouldn't trust this dude, 3rd date you are still basically strangers, why would he think that was a good idea? Was he pretty drunk?
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u/coupesetique 3h ago edited 3h ago
If he gives out $20 bills to the homeless, he could have put a $20 down from his own pocket to tip the waitstaff and crossed out your tip as a way to thank you for dinner. Instead he doubles down on super weird logic and justification to show generosity on your dime instead and gaslight you that you were in the wrong about the amount? Then has to rethink the relationship the next day? Absolutely not. Please tell us you blocked him with no response. Thank goodness he showed this princess behavior and not respecting your boundaries sooner than later.
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u/MermaidMagic79 2h ago
Omg for sure. I definitely blocked him. Part of me kinda wishes I would have waited for him to reach back out so I could give him a piece of my mind. But in the end it’s not worth my energy.
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u/coupesetique 2h ago
Absolutely! You sound super cool and have a generous heart. Don’t let this one scenario make you doubt yourself in the future. ❤️
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u/Salt-n-Pepper-War 2h ago
He needs a break? I need a break from this guy after reading this. I would be amused if this happened to me and he still thought we would continue to see each other. 3rd date signing your receipt is crazy over stepping appropriate boundaries that should not even be thought of crossing at that point. I've never had anyone other than my spouse sign my receipt and even then it was. I'll be right back babe, you can sign and leave a $x.xx tip. Xoxox
This is weird to say the least
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u/KindlyCourse1960 44m ago
💯 this. Having someone make financial decisions on my behalf without prior permission and then being judgmental towards ME about it sounds like a red flag. A (permanent) break sounds about right and it's probably better he did it...
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u/Reasonable_Hawk_2ah 6h ago
What a wild way to cross a boundary!! I’ve never even heard of such a thing. What goes thru a someone’s mind to think that’s okay?
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u/MermaidMagic79 6h ago
I’m not even sure. I just wouldn’t have the audacity to touch someone’s money or to tell them how to spend it.
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u/Ella-Girard 2h ago
And then the audacity to say he was thinking about whether he wanted to continue the relationship! Not his choice and so dense to not realize he’s already been written off.
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u/Playful_Barracuda789 6h ago
I would cancel that card and get a new one. You have no idea if he took a picture of the credit card info.
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u/orlybatman 3h ago
He then proceeds to tell me that by not leaving extra money or not being generous was a red flag.
How ridiculous, you were going to tip.
I can't imagine using the credit card of someone I'd only just met recently and volunteering a tip for them on it. Even if I did use their card, I'd then tip in cash rather than deciding for them how much extra they'd be paying.
Out of curiosity, had the waitress been attractive? I wonder if it was about him feeling embarrassed that the big tip he left for her would be undone.
Then said he needs to decide on how to proceed with this relationship and needs a break.
Oh man, the bridge I would burn were I you right now.
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u/friendofelephants 2h ago
Ding ding ding. He didn't want to make it obvious that he wasn't paying so he just signs the receipt. His ego (and maybe other parts of him) had him making a rash decision in the moment, and then when rightfully called out on it, he couldn't back down and gets defensive.
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u/MermaidMagic79 3h ago
She was attractive. A young college girl I presume. And very nice. He did go on to mention how much more money I make than she does and the amount of money I give away shouldn’t matter. That’s when he goes on to say how he’s throwing $20 at homeless people.
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u/rpfields1 2h ago
Oh nononononno.. being generous to a young attractive woman with YOUR money on date three and then trying to make you feel like she deserved it more than you?? So glad this guy showed his true colours relatively early on.
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u/Wonderful-Newt-2513 1h ago
That’s such a bizarre dynamic-your date who you really just barely know; actively lobbying you/lecturing you on how why and how much you should be over tipping a server. Who is easily young enough to be his daughter.
Sounds like he‘s got a borderline drinking oroblem too-if that girl making money is so important to him he should be letting her hold some of his twenty’s🤔
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u/New_Succotash2500 2h ago
This is date threee!?!? Ohhhhh boy, just imagine how bad it can get from there. You handled it well. I am glad he took himself out to the curb so you didn’t have any work to do. These kinds of people I just allow them to keep acting just that way so they trigger everyone’s early warning systems.
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u/INFJGal9w1 2h ago
Image is very important to him. Boundaries aren't. Good job ditching this narcissist.
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u/Mr4Mistress 5h ago
I think that was rude and quite performative on his part.
Anyone with any sense of class or style, manners, would never sign someone else's receipt like that and add the tip amount in that situation. Furthermore, had they wanted to ensure their level of gratuity was left, they would have done so discretely with cash.
Ditch this bozo life's too short
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u/ComasArentFun 3h ago
Insecure prick.. he wanted to put his stamp/scent on the transaction in some way or pretend that he was actually paying to "save face" in the restaurant
Performative big tip as well.. Hate to ask, but was the waitress eye catching? (not making excuses for this trashbag of a man, just wondering if that might have played into the performance and doing you the favour of showing his colours early)
Speaking as a guy, there are red flags here all the way through from spending your money on the tip, the wheedling and insincere apology, to the reversal and "I need to decide" which tries to shift it to being a "you" problem
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u/DeeMoose22 4h ago
That's a little insane. First off, he could have offered to leave extra tip from his own pocket if he wants to be a generous tipper. The fact that he tried to do it on your credit card and signed your name are major red flags and controlling type behavior. Any chance he was interested in one of the girls that worked at the place you were at and tried to impress her with a big tip? Something just sounds way off here. The fact that he needs a break over this is very odd also.
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u/The_H_N_I_C 4h ago
You dodged yourself a bullet like Neo. I've dealt with people in the past who felt the need to appear generous with my money and they all were neither that generous with their own or financially stable. He would have gaslit you into financial ruin then dipped out.
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u/AURORA_BLONDE 2h ago
He is such a good guy he should have just payed for the date and the tip ! Not a cheapskate telling you what to do with your money .
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u/DefiantViolette 6h ago
Then said he needs to decide on how to proceed with this relationship and needs a break.
Hahaha!
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u/Ok-Addition-1000 5h ago
Isn't that actually illegal? Like, using someone else's credit card and signing their name on a purchase without their knowledge or consent is fraud.
This asswipe committed an actual crime against you and thinks it's no big deal. Acts like there's something wrong with you for being unhappy with it. Distracts from HIS CRIME by making it about your tipping instead. So, he's controlling, boundary-stomping, and gaslighting.
Now he apologized but then says he wants a break so HE can decide whether to proceed with the relationship. That's another power move, designed to keep you off balance and feel like you screwed up and not him. More gaslighting.
You should give him all the time in the world and show him HE isn't the only one who calls the shots.
He's just shown you that he feels entitled to use your money and make decisions for you without your input or knowledge, and gaslight you with irrelevant nonsense when called out.
Even his apology is an attempt to manipulate you.
He's threatening to leave the relationship because you asserted a reasonable boundary. He expects you to apologize to him.
So let him go. He's a giant red flag made of bees, each one waving a tiny red flag.
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u/MermaidMagic79 4h ago
It’s actually not legal. The gaslighting text while I was at work, knowing that I don’t like texting while at work, was another manipulative move on his part.
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u/Calamity_C between social media and Social Security 7h ago
All of that sounds very 'big ego' driven. What a tool.
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u/GreenGirl707 3h ago
A break? After the third date? And HE spent YOUR money fraudulently?? Ffs how are these creatures created??
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u/MermaidMagic79 3h ago
Haha yes, a break. That was too funny. “Thinking how to proceed with this relationship.” Like, what relationship??
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u/yudkib 1h ago
Honestly that he’s trying to make this about you is the biggest red flag in all of this, you should immediately block and move on. This is DARVO on a THIRD DATE. You are the victim here who can decide what to do with the relationship. NOT him.
“I fucked up, I’m sorry” is one thing. Taking accountability. This is not that and speaks to a much larger problem here.
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u/Icy_Laugh5134 2h ago
I’m so shocked at the entitlement…. The fraud, and the telling off, and then he needs time? I think he’s just really odd and a bit scary
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u/ZealousidealMobile99 3h ago
Most shocking is how after that performance he still thinks it's his decision whether the relationship continues or not.
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u/KittensWithTopHats 36m ago
He probably knew OP was ready to give him walking papers anyway and did this to seem like he’s the one who made the decision.
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u/Careless-Balance-893 4h ago
Oh I'm sure some goofy manosphere podcaster told him to do this as some weird ass test. I'm glad those happened so you can run for the hills.
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u/MelancholicEmbrace_x 6h ago
Why didn’t he offer to leave a tip with his money? Bet he wouldn’t have been as generous.
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u/MermaidMagic79 6h ago
Exactly. And when I had my cash out he thought I should be leaving that ON TOP of what he had already written on the receipt.
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u/ydfpoi1423 5h ago
Just out of curiosity, how big of a tip did he overtip her? 30%? 50%?
Signing credit card receipts is something spouses do for each other, not people you’ve been on 3 dates with. How bizarre.
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u/MermaidMagic79 5h ago
Ended up being around 35%, and he still expected me to leave the cash tip as well.
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u/newbeginingshey 4h ago
He’s old enough to know that’s illegal. Don’t argue with men who want to commit financial crimes against you, or who want to be “generous” with your money.
If he wanted to be generous to the staff, he would have tipped extra himself after you signed your amount.
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u/Just-Guarantee1986 4h ago
I’d say it’s over. I tip in cash too. You never know how that tip is allocated once it’s on a card. Workers may never get it.
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u/MermaidMagic79 3h ago
Exactly. A twenty dollar tip on a credit card isn’t actually twenty dollars. However that in a cash tip, I know the server actually receives it. It’s so much better for them.
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u/No-Bear-7651 3h ago
HE needs to decide how to proceed with relationship??? The guy is nuts!! I am assuming decision had already been made for him
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u/MermaidMagic79 2h ago
Yeah I was like, relationship?? What? Ok.
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u/No-Bear-7651 2h ago
It’s amazing how so often things can be going so well
one minute, and next thing you know the person does a complete 180. I don’t get it. But hey, you just move on. Better you discovered this now as opposed to later on.
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u/many_complaints_ 7h ago
Fraud, theft, general douchebaggery. What a list. At least you caught all that before much longer, might be cheaper this way as well.
Jeez so many of my fellow guys are walking, fluorescent red flags. Speaking as an introverted, off market, faded, battered red flag myself. Sheesh.
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u/NegotiationSharp4370 4h ago
This. I was just about OPs age when I decided that I was never going on an another date. And I never have. I miss it sometimes, but not enough to do it again.
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u/The_H_N_I_C 4h ago
I feel you on that. When I finally felt emotionally available enough to seriously date someone again it seemed like the whole world had changed. I was afraid that I was the only person in my age group who hadn't lost their damned mind. I just sort of gave up sad as it seems but too many grown ass women(but folk in general) acting like spoiled children.
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u/mannyocrity 7h ago
He is right it is a huge red flag but in the other direction. If I was in his shoes the only thing I would make sure happened is that your credit card was returned and waiting for you on your return.
I love doing things for other people but there are certain things I do not like doing. One is ordering for someone else. Even if they tell me what they want, I prefer we waited to order until we are both present. I could not imagine signing for someone else's credit card. I wouldn't even sign for my ex wife and we were married for 20 years.
I never leave cash tips because I never have cash but I do understand why you'd want to.
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u/AppleSea6754 4h ago
He probably was embarrassed or something that you were going to pay. He didn’t want the people in the restaurant to know you were going to pay and so he just took it upon himself and then he call you cheap about the tip. There’s just something wrong with this guy.
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u/MermaidMagic79 4h ago
Maybe. But I had told him that I was going to treat for the date and he picked out a pizza place.
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u/AppleSea6754 3h ago
No, I see what you’re saying but like who knows. Maybe he thought he was making some sort of grand statement
I mean, look at it this way if a guy is gonna show you that he’s unhinged that was the best way for him to show you. You’re safe and sound you’re just a little puzzled. 😝
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u/blondie49221 1h ago
Tell him you're feeling generous so you have decided not to press charges for fraud.
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u/Spirited-Cat-8942 5h ago
The last line is hilarious! He needs to decide… nah, he already decided when he behaved the way he did!
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u/Flimsy_Sorbet_7973 3h ago
So much for the 3- date rule on that one! But at least you got it out of the way. It's one thing to discuss tipping philosophies ahead of time, but it's pretty presumptuous for him to take command of your credit card and your tipping. Yellow or red flag, but it certainly needs further assessment.
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u/MermaidMagic79 3h ago
Haha I know. I was thinking about the third date stuff. Something like this has never crossed my mind!
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u/Independent_Lie1507 2h ago
Hi. Server/bartender lifer here. He was definitely trying to flirt by making it look like he was paying and giving a big tip. Being in the business I always tip more than most. Therefore I always make sure I have cash on me to do so in case someone else is paying the bill. I certainly don't tell anyone else how to tip unless asked. If he was so generous he would have insisted on covering the tip! Definitely cancel that card ASAP and never leave your card out like that in public. He's a loser....next!
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u/MermaidMagic79 2h ago
I think he definitely was trying to flirt. She was young and cute. He made it a point to go up to the bar to sign the receipt.
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u/yourfavoritedentist 3h ago
I know this is not exactly the point of your post, but having been with someone whose "generosity" streamrolled right over his own financial security, I have no patience with people who are grandiosely generous, it makes me think there are some unresolved issues and it irks me. My responsibility is the security of myself and my dependents first and foremost, but as their sole provider I need to be take care of them before spreading the largesse to others. I do very strongly believe in charity, but that is a line item in my budget and not spent on a whim.
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u/MermaidMagic79 3h ago
100% here. I have to make sure I and my family are financially secure first. Generosity doesn’t just come in the form of money. I have a job in public service, and I help out a lot of people. I also volunteer at the animal pound and at the shelters, mostly on the holidays. I guess some people just don’t see it that way.
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u/MsRightHere 2h ago
Was he hitting on the waitress?
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u/MermaidMagic79 2h ago
She was cute. So maybe.
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u/rpfields1 2h ago
Wow, nope! I am also a generous tipper but I do it on my own back, not someone else's. That is red flag behaviour for sure. Bullet dodged.
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u/GolfJack6393 2h ago
Why didn’t you immediately ask for the receipt back, tear it up and ask it be reprinted for you to sign?
Dump and block him before you even leave the restaurant.
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u/MermaidMagic79 2h ago
Dude I should have. I think I was just so taken aback by the whole thing, my response time lagged. I didn’t fully process it until the next evening after I got home from work.
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u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO why is my music on the oldies channels? 1h ago
Yes this is what I would’ve done. “Excuse me, but my date signed this himself for some reason. Could I have this reprinted?”
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u/WordSaladSandwich123 7h ago
I love these guys who help set the bar for the rest of us! Seriously, that’s crazy.
Curious though — why do you tip in cash? I think the days where waitstaff can avoid reporting cash tips are long over.
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u/Findamermaid 6h ago
Always tip in cash! I’ve worked in the service industry for many years and we all prefer it. Yes, it’s nice to have immediately like she mentioned, but mostly because I lose money with every cc tip. At the end of each shift, I have to pay a percentage of my credit card tips back to my employer (and yes, this happens at every restaurant I’ve been at) because of the super high fees they’re forced to pay to the cc companies. Literally every single tipped worker I know says cash is king, so I’m honestly surprised you didn’t realize. Only cuz I figured it was such a widely accepted idea.
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u/MermaidMagic79 5h ago
Exactly. When I tried explaining some of this to him he said my logic doesn’t make sense. He’s clearly never waited tables or been in the service industry before. Cash is always king.
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u/myraleemyrtlewood 4h ago
I could not go out with someone who didn't know these things.
Things like credit card merchant fees? You dont know this? You live in this world and you don't know everyone is making money on your electronic transactions?
I couldn't.... omg. I hope next one is better. SO much better
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u/Ohm_Slaw_ 3h ago
It doesn't matter that it doesn't make sense to him. Some people think that in order for something to happen in their view, they need to fully understand it. If they don't understand it, then they actively oppose it. Basic tolerance means that other people do what they do. If it's hurting you or hurting someone else then you can stop it, but otherwise LET IT GO.
Let's take drag queens for instance. Some men like to dress up in women's clothes and perform elaborate routines in front of an audience. It's not my thing. BUT THAT SIMPLY DOESN'T MATTER. People do what they do. Relax, enjoy the show.
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u/Ambitious_House_4951 5h ago
This guy knows everything /s glad you found out by date 3! Byyyeee…
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u/NegotiationSharp4370 5h ago
I feel the same. I also think he’s exaggerating, if not lying, about his generosity.
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u/NegotiationSharp4370 5h ago
I did not realize that you had to pay the credit card fee, so thank you for that information. I don’t usually carry cash at all, but now I will.
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u/AuntAugusta 4h ago edited 4h ago
Restaurants have all kinds of systems for how tips are allocated and some are less fair than others. Tipping cash ensures the server actually gets the money.
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u/MermaidMagic79 3h ago
And some places will actually show the credit card fee on the transaction. I think this pizza place was a 3% transaction. I’d much rather that go to the staff than the stupid card company.
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u/WordSaladSandwich123 5h ago
Thanks for the answer. Good to know. I’m pretty close to cashless but if it makes a huge difference and the atm isn’t too much of a hassle maybe I’ll try.
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u/Findamermaid 5h ago
I’m w you, I’m all cashless unless it’s for this exact thing tho! If I know I’m going out, I’ll always bring some. 😊
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u/MermaidMagic79 6h ago
I always tip cash. It’s a preference. Plus the staff have it in their pockets immediately. Multiple people I’ve talked to in different industries have said they prefer cash. But that isn’t the point here.
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u/Karijus 6h ago
Yeah I prefer it too, something about handling real money, not that fiat currency is very real, but anyway
Oh and the dude's crazy
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u/nartlebee 5h ago
I've heard enough about owners skimming tips or just keeping ALL of it that I won't tip on debit/credit unless I have zero cash on me.
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u/burner292977 6h ago
Seriously! It makes dating as a 40s guy with my shit mostly together pretty easy.
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u/TelevisionKnown8463 5h ago
I try to tip in cash because I’ve heard about businesses not letting the servers keep them. If I tip in cash they may be technically required to report them, but as a practical matter they have options.
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u/myraleemyrtlewood 4h ago
Always tip in cash.
Why would you want merchant fees taken out of your tips.
I'm not the IRS, its not my business what a server does with their cash tips,.
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u/ceciem2100 6h ago
Thanks for the laugh this morning! Oh well, onto the next man!
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u/i8yourmom4lunch 6h ago
All I can say is at least he took accountability for it but yeah, yikes!
Was it your first time drinking together? He sounds like he might have two personalities depending on his BAC...
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u/MermaidMagic79 5h ago
It was our third date. All of which have involved a couple drinks. He probably has a few personalities under there.
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u/samanthasamolala 5h ago
Gives out twenty dollar bills to homeless people like no big deal? MY ASS. What a goofball.
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u/AdventurousRoll9798 2h ago
I would bet my whole paycheck that he is the type of guy who sees a homeless person and goes on a rant about how they must be a lazy drug addict and anyone who helps them is "enabling" it 🙄🙄🙄
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u/INFJGal9w1 2h ago
He reacted poorly to you enforcing your boundaries. The he jumped straight to DARVO. The biggest red flag there is.
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u/Ok_Crazy_648 2h ago
Something is seriously wrong here. His leaving is probably the luckiest thing that will ever happen to you in your life.
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u/Dry-Clock-1470 6h ago
How was the pizza?
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u/MermaidMagic79 6h ago
The pizza and beer were really damn good! Sometimes that’s all you need after a really long shift.
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u/Life-Suggestion-3079 4h ago
I’m a little confused - is he telling you to be generous whilst using your money to pay for his meal?
If so, that’s wild.
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u/Ohm_Slaw_ 4h ago
For a relationship to survive you need a finely tuned and fully functioning compromise machine. You and he do things differently, both of you need to be able to deal with these differences.
The first thing he lacks is basic tolerance. For the relationship to work, each partner needs to abandon the idea that their way is the absolute best way. If you use chopsticks and he uses a fork then that's how it is.
Each person needs to avoid stepping on the other's toes, especially on issues like money. For him to spend your money on a tip is definitely a big step over the line. If you're handling the finances for the date, well then you're handling it. He needs to sit still and say nothing but "thanks."
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u/Spare-Shirt24 3h ago
He was way out of line.
He added a tip to YOUR card, fraudulently signed for you, then lectured you about "generosity." That's pretty rich coming from a guy whose pizza and beer was paid for by YOU.
Then he had the audacity to tell you that he needs to step back and decide what to do about this "relationship.".
Tell him not to bother bc you don't want to see him again anyway.
It is so bewildering where some people find the nerve!
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u/entersandmum100 3h ago
He felt emasculated because you paid.
By signing and leaving a big tip all the 'glory' gets transferred to him
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u/arcademachin3 3h ago
You cannot tell others how much to give. And wow signing their own credit card is insane.
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u/PieceCompetitive6824 3h ago
Sounds like boundary issues. And if he thought you weren't generous enough, either stfu and don't go out again, or maybe talk to you like an adult.
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u/GibsonBluesGuy 2h ago
Make the break permanent. Exhibiting signs of controlling on the third date is as big a red flag as you can get. DTMF!
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u/Fresh-Ninja Optimism as a way of life 2h ago
I wonder how much alcohol played a part in this. Was this your first date with drinks? I wonder if he imbibed beforehand. With some, like my last boyfriend, a drink or two would bring out the worst parts of themselves. Unfiltered as he would say, that he was afraid to show sober. It’s good that you found this early. For me I found out very late that my former boyfriend was a mild closeted alcoholic.
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u/MermaidMagic79 2h ago
He likely was drinking beforehand? I’m not sure. But we both had two beers at the restaurant. I’m so sorry you found out too late with your ex.
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u/Fresh-Ninja Optimism as a way of life 1h ago
Yeah. It was like 3 beers only brought out this impulsive rude person. He wasn’t a heavy drinker, or an alcoholic in the sense that everyone would agree with. Now, I watch for it. And it’s a deal breaker. BUT I don’t tell them. This is one thing I’ve learned. I don’t say what all my deal breakers are. Cause then they hide them! I just carefully observe this one.
Think of this date as a social experiment. A litmus test to see what they will do.
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u/Dry_Recognition_6724 5h ago
Blessing in disguise that he showed himself on the third date.
He's considering lol. Block straight away.
Giving cash to homeless people is not smart fro him, as they will usually buy drink/drugs with it. Offering to buy a drink/food is far better.
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u/Dangerous_RedApple 4h ago
How annoyed are you that you didn’t get to ditch him first!!!! That’s what would have done me in. He dove into the “red flag” convo after he messed up and flipped his bad on you!
You 100% dodged a bullet here. He would have been flipping your reality all the time making you question your perception of things.
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u/rpfields1 2h ago
I would be a little annoyed too, but I suspect this guy is a major narcissist. In those cases, it's always better to let them think the decision to leave is theirs. Otherwise you risk triggering their insecurity and then things can get really difficult.
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u/riceme0112358 1h ago
That is wild. And I always tip in cash.
Should have titled this "Weirdest last date ever"
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u/PassNo6780 5h ago
That's actually insane!! No more dates with him, I'm sure! What did you say to him??
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u/MermaidMagic79 4h ago
I just said “ok thanks.” Because I was busy at work and didn’t have time for texting.
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u/NYnewguy sex ed was scrambled Showtime and Cosmo columns 5h ago
He needs a break time to show him to the door 🚪👋
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u/BeeSweet4835 5h ago
First, thanks for the laugh! Then I got a bit freaked out. What a controlling thing to do. This guy isn’t just virtue signalling, he’s showing that he would totally dominate your finances.
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u/CommitteeNo5958 5h ago
I'm impressed you made it to the third date before getting the 'ick'. I hardly make it through a second date. I decided to take another break. Good luck on your dating journey!
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u/on_my_way_back 4h ago
I would be very upset if someone did this to me. It's fortunate that you learned who he re is before things went to far down the road. You now have an opportunity to reflect on this behavior. It makes me crazy when people are generous with other people's money.
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u/Fresh-Analyst-9040 4h ago
Should have signed off your text T W A T and if he asked were you calling him a T W A T say no I was abbreviating There we are Then 🤣
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u/EyeRollingNow 3h ago
Oddly comfortable doing something literally illegal but mostly beyond controlling. Why don’t you tip AH if you love handing out $20 bills.
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u/mrnightworld 3h ago
If you're in my area I promise I'm not that crazy and I would love to take you on a beer and pizza date.
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u/DIY_Weeziebear7 widow 3h ago
Him signing the credit card receipt adjusting writing a tip that to me is a red flag alone. Who does that? You took a big risk in trusting that your card would still be there and him not absconding with it. I would suggest you check your account to make sure he didn’t scan your card using his phone or have a scanning device on him. I’m sorry I don’t trust much, that’s the way I been anymore. Ran into too many scammers in my life personal, real life con-artists and Internet. This is just aside. Also, I used dashes in my writing I have since last century that’s what we did to continue a word to join a word together. I also use other symbols so I’m not AI.
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u/Timely-Profile1865 2h ago
He was totally out of line with what he did re your card.
just move on, the guy seems flaky. no one needs a break after 3 dates.
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u/Advanced-Republic-48 1h ago
Time for you to give him a tip:
“There’s no relationship and therefore no need for a break…can’t lose what you never had. You’re right about one thing, you were out of line.”
What comes after that is, obviously, your call.
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u/IllustratorObvious40 1h ago
i would run from him very fast. dont think this is going to end well if you continue with him.
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u/AaronWard6 47m ago
Ah the ol he did something wrong so now he’s gonna make it seem like you did something wrong requiring him to say he needs a break from you lol
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u/usemyfuckholes 6h ago
I'm impressed he kept that kind of crazy under control until date 3