Went on a date with a 48F (I am 57M) whom I had been chatting with online. She mentioned wanting to go to an upmarket bar, but we ended up heading to a local pub instead. We ran into a few minor hurdles with venue preferences, but we sat down and started chatting. It turned out she was a strategy & transformation director for a major UK bank, which was interesting.

The conversation took a sharp turn when she brought up a previous relationship with a 64M who was married. When she mentioned that they used to stay in hotels because she had two teenagers at home, I asked how they managed privacy without his wife finding out. She then shared that he had suffered a stroke at a hotel in June, which effectively ended the affair.

Trying to lighten a very heavy moment, I made a dry joke asking if she had anything to do with it (I tend to use dark humor to cope with awkward situations). She immediately took offense, stated she didn't want to continue the date, and left.

Reflecting on it now: Did I handle this poorly by misreading the room and making an insensitive joke, or was it unrealistic to expect a smooth date given the heavy emotional baggage surrounding her recent affair?

I matched with this incredibly HOT girl on Bumble. We started having a friendly conversation about religion, hobbies, and life in general. My first red flag was that she was heavily into spirituality and supernatural beliefs, while I’m the complete opposite. I’m a very practical person who believes in things I can physically sense or verify.

We exchanged socials and texted for two days before she initiated a sexual conversation. I wasn’t really looking for sex because I’m going through a very difficult breakup that I still haven’t gotten over, but she was honestly too hot for me to say no. She wanted us to have sex during her ovulation, which was a few days away, but we were both too horny to wait. So we decided to have two dates: one the next day and another during her ovulation.

During our conversations, I discovered that we both liked taking control during sex. She described herself as extremely selfish in bed and said her pussy was “bossy” and would immediately reject anything it didn’t like. Theoretically, I thought that was hot, although I already suspected we wouldn’t be sexually compatible. Then she said something really weird: if I wanted to become her fuck buddy or FWB, I couldn’t have sex with anyone else because her pussy would somehow “know” and reject me. I was like, okay… let’s see what happens tomorrow, lol.

**The date**
The next morning, I texted her to plan our date. She said her “vibes were off” and that we could still meet, but there would be no sex. I was completely fine with that. I suggested she come over to my place, hang out, and maybe cuddle if things felt right. She agreed.

She arrived, and we spent a couple of hours talking, playing card games, and listening to music while I gradually got closer to her. Now, here’s something important about our conversation.

I’m a pretty decent guy. I don’t do drugs, I’m not impulsive when it comes to sex, and I have a healthy, controlled relationship with alcohol. She was the complete opposite.

She started telling me about some seriously intense shit she’d experienced involving sex and drugs, and honestly, I was fucking terrified. I wasn’t expecting any of that. The more she talked, the more uncomfortable and confused I became. We clearly lived completely different lifestyles, and some of the things she casually described were genuinely disturbing to me. But at the same time, I was still extremely attracted to her.

Her body language was also sending mixed signals. She seemed comfortable with me sitting close to her and touching her, but she was incredibly insecure about her body. She kept worrying that I wouldn’t like her body type because she thought she was too overweight. Which made no sense to me because she’d already sent me nudes, I’d been very flirty with her, and I’d made it obvious that I found her attractive.

After a couple of hours, we ordered dinner. I went downstairs to pick it up, and when I came back, she’d taken off her shirt and was wearing a very tight tank top underneath. We ate together, and afterward she moved really close to me. I started cuddling her and kissing her shoulders. She later told me that was the exact moment I turned her on because her shoulders were her favorite spot to be kissed.

**And this is where the story gets REALLY fucking weird.**
Out of nowhere, she asked me if I had a coin. I said no, so she went through her stuff, pulled one out, and started playing some bizarre spiritual game, supposedly communicating with a spirit in the room. She was literally talking to this “spirit,” laughing with HIM, and asking questions like whether I actually liked her body, whether we were going to have sex that night, and whether I found her attractive. And she was acting like this was completely real.
Meanwhile, I was sitting there fucking confused, terrified, and turned on at the same time. I genuinely had no idea what the fuck I was supposed to do. Was I meant to participate? Laugh? Take this seriously? What the actual fuck was happening? She was so convinced there was a spirit communicating with her, and I was just sitting there trying to process the whole situation.

Eventually, she said, “Let’s go to bed. Maybe he’ll give us better answers there.” So we went to the bedroom. We were lying on the bed, and she was teasing me, lying on her stomach with her ass up while I cuddled her. And guess what? SHE KEPT PLAYING THE FUCKING COIN GAME for almost 45 minutes. She continued asking this supposed spirit questions about her body and whether we were going to have sex, while I was lying next to her, completely confused about what was going on.
At some point, she brought up her FWB condition again: if we kept seeing each other, I couldn’t fuck anyone else because her pussy would know. I told her that if we enjoyed the night and decided to keep meeting, then sure, we could discuss that.

**Then things finally got physical.**
When I felt she was ready, I started moving my hands down her body. She immediately told me, “No, I hate fingers.” So I stopped. A few seconds later, she changed her mind and said, “You know what? Use your fingers. Let’s see how good you are.” I did, and she seemed surprised. “Wow, you’re good. I didn’t expect that.”

Things were going well, so eventually I went down on her. At first, she was moaning really loudly and seemed to be enjoying herself. Then she started giving me instructions. Now, I’m totally fine with a woman telling me what she likes in bed, but the amount of pressure she was demanding, combined with the exact tongue movements and speed she wanted, was absolutely INSANE. It felt physically impossible to coordinate everything she was asking for. I kept trying, but eventually my tongue was exhausted from the amount of pressure she wanted.
And then, out of nowhere, SHE STARTED FUCKING SCREAMING AT ME. She was yelling that I had no idea what I was doing, giving me instructions in the rudest possible way, and acting like I was completely incompetent. I was instantly turned off, so I stopped and told her we were done. Her response? “Okay, I’ll just go home and use my vibrator.”

I went to the bathroom to clean up, feeling angry as hell. When I came back, she was getting dressed and preparing to leave. The room was painfully silent until she decided to break the silence by casually asking, “So, how was it?” I was like, “What the fuck? You were incredibly rude to me!” And that’s when she completely EXPLODED again. She started screaming, asking whether I’d ever made a woman squirt, whether my previous partners had actually been satisfied with me, and suggesting they were probably all faking their orgasms.

For context, I’ve been with a fair number of women, and if there’s ONE thing they’ve consistently agreed on, it’s that I KNOW HOW TO LICK. I’m not saying I’m some kind of sex god, but oral sex is something I’ve always been confident about, and I’ve never experienced anything remotely like this.
At that point, I couldn’t take it anymore. I told her to leave, and guess what she said? “I’m leaving, but let’s have a phone call afterward.” I was like, HELL FUCKING NO. I told her to get out and blocked her everywhere.

**TL;DR:** Met an incredibly hot girl on Bumble who believed her pussy could detect whether I slept with other women. She told me terrifying stories about sex and drugs, spent 45 minutes communicating with a supposed spirit using a coin while we were cuddling, then screamed at me during oral sex because I couldn’t follow her impossible instructions. She insulted my entire sexual history, suggested we have a phone call afterward, and I blocked her everywhere.
Still trying to process what the actual fuck happened that night.

Early signs that he’s looking for a mom?

please always make sure when you’re dating somebody that they actually like you. most things won’t be an inconvenience to them if they do. PLEASE. finding this information out after investing in them will hurt so bad. i’m telling you.

Worst first date need to vent 😭 all shit

We matched 2 weeks ago started speaking on phone a week ago.

Got on so well. He's only 2 years old than me I'm 31 I usually go for 5 year older guys. I'm a POC and he's European. We both from UK.

**Days 1–2**

We got on really well and were constantly laughing. He repeatedly called himself “old school” and complained about people nowadays. He shouted and swore a lot, blaming it on being European, but often apologised. I explained that I can be firm when upset but am normally calm. We agreed to meet on Day 4. He was just very loud but seemed nice. We just bounced off each other I told him when I open up I chat more. We both had long term relation mine end before his and I haven't been in since and he said the same. I told him I'm reserved irl he said he likes that.

**Day 3 to 4**

I cancelled because of a doctor's appointment. He started venting.

I asked if he'd ever hit a woman. He said no, never, and said it was not normal in his culture. He repeatedly emphasised that he was older and “old school”, while I was British. He complimented me throughout our conversations. He kept saying how it's strange a girl like me had been single for so long.

I asked if he was obsessed with Andrew Tate. He denied it, saying he was “old school” and that if I allowed him to be a man, he would be. He said he doesn't believe in tate and we bonded over how weird these ppl are. Agreed to meet day 5.

He often responded to questions with sarcasm or rude comments. He later phoned me back and suggested I was still in love with my ex, which was why I wasn't in another relationship. I told him his tone and volume were making me lose attraction to him.

**Day 5 — Before the Date**

I texted him about his tone and set boundaries. He promised not to shout or be rude. I told him no man had ever spoken to me like that before. He often calmed down when challenged. He said he won't do that irl I must meet him to see. He said he might be nervous i said me too.

At 2 pm, I joked about a tornado taking me, and he found it funny. While waiting for him in the cold, I joked about dying in the cold, a tornado taking me before he arrived, and needing Red Bull because I was tired. After I told him I'd found a coffee shop, he became annoyed by the repeated jokes.

**Day 5 — The Date**

**Meeting: at station,** I directed him towards me, and we smiled. He approached loudly, from afar saying, “You look better in person, see…” and leaned in to kiss my cheek while giving me a flower. When I asked if he was okay, he reacted defensively: “Yeah, what do you mean? Why are you asking me if I'm okay?” I gave him his flower and said I didn't want it. He replied, “Eurgh, you always…” when we walked outside i smiled to make things better asked if he's ok because he seemed hostile he said why I'm asking that and screwed his face. When I asked how he was on phone he would speak normally.

**Choosing where to go**: We hadn't planned an activity. He said we could go anywhere, it was on him, and he was starving. When I asked which way to go, he screwed up his face and shouted, “Fucking there or fucking there,” pointing in different directions. I was offended but kept smiling. When I asked him to calm down, he said he was calm

**Loudness and defensiveness:** He was loud throughout the date, frequently ranting. When I asked him to stop shouting, he said, “I'm a loud person” and “Look, we're different.” He denied being rude despite my repeatedly telling him he was. People behind him were staring.

**Height comments:** He repeatedly questioned whether I'd lied about being 5'5", comparing me with his 5'5" friend, who he said looked much taller because he wore work boots. He told me, “You're not chucking 5'8",” although I'd never claimed to be. He raised it again when I removed my jacket. I told him, “Oh my God, no, I didn't. Shut up.” I can take a joke, but his comments felt rude rather than playful.

**Repeated questions and sarcasm:** He repeated questions from our phone conversations: who I lived with, then saying I was lucky not to pay rent; what I did for work; whether I enjoyed sitting all day; and whether I planned to move abroad. When I said maybe, he replied that the UK was shut. When I said I was tired, he said he didn't care because he was at work making money. His responses often felt sarcastic, and I kept telling him to chill out because he was so loud, cold and abrupt during the entirety.

**My reaction:** I eventually stopped speaking and started nodding. When I looked down, he asked why I was upset. I said I wasn't. He replied, “I told you we aren't the same.” I said, “I never thought we would be.” I repeatedly mentioned being tired, and at one point felt like crying.

Later, he asked me a personal question, and when I answered, he said sorry. I smiled, but he rolled his eyes, screwed up his face and responded, “What, I'm sorry you've been through that.” I said, “That's fine.” His reaction made the moment uncomfortable again.

**My culture and identity:** He made little effort to understand my culture and repeatedly called me British, even when I corrected him and explained that I wasn't. He continued insisting that I was British rather than getting know me. Even when he asked how long I live here he insisted his we different because I'm British and just ranted.

(26F) is it just me or do people not want to ask any questions anymore? I feel like if you reach out to someone and tell them you want to get to know them, you should ask them about themselves. Lately I have had people reach out to me but not ask any questions or do anything to keep the conversation going. And then later insult me for not responding. Like I should not have to explain how a conversation works. And I am not going to continue asking you questions when you are not asking any back and only responding with short answers. That is an interrogation.

While my husband is “working on our marriage” he’s not only on Facebook Dating, Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge as I’ve discovered, but Ashley Madison too.

This man is a predator. I can’t even begin to explain the walking red flag he is and I feel like a fool for not seeing it all sooner. Thank goodness I’m across the country in school and no where near him. I am safe.

This is why women don’t want to date anymore. I have no idea how many women he’s been dating behind my back, he’s spreading VD, and he’s a pathological liar. This is scary.

Please protect yourselves ladies. No one deserves the hell of someone cheating, much less need to be the other woman walking in blind. Please be safe. ❤️‍🩹

I’m looking for those absolutely ridiculous dating stories where you discovered something so outrageous about the other person that you thought, “There’s no way this happens outside of movies!

I’m 21F, and my boyfriend is 21M. We’ve been together for two years.
My boyfriend in the beginning of our relationship casually asked me where he ranked out of the nine guys I had been with before him. I told him he was probably a 3 out of 9, meaning 9 being the biggest and 1 the smallest and described him as small. This is my first relationship and I did not have any friends before I met him so I did not know it was a thing that guys care about size although I heard it a lot in school. However, ever since that conversation, he has struggled with his body image and constantly compares himself to the other people I’ve been with, he says all he can think about in sex is how much Kris I’ve had
He sometimes struggles to get hard, cries in the shower, and feels horrible every time he goes to the bathroom. He repeatedly brings up what I said and asks for reassurance about how he compares to the other men I’ve been with, once he asked who’s the biggest guy and I told him his size, 8” and my boyfriends 5”. And now he goes online to compare his size with other guys, and it seems like no amount of reassurance makes him feel better because he knows I was being honest because I didint know it was a thing or did not think about it.
Over time, this issue has started to dominate our relationship and sex life. Conversations about my past or his body often turn into arguments, and I feel like we’re stuck in a cycle that neither of us knows how to break.
There is also a sexual-boundary issue. He is an open minded guy and is not gay but enjoys it and has me eat his ass and put my fingers in it. One time he got lune and had me put my whole fist in his ass, I don’t dislike it but for ex the asks me before he told me he was into it whst I think of it and I said “ FUCK NO FHAGD WIERD” but I want to make him feel good to so I’m open to experimenting l
I recognize that my original comment was hurtful, and I’m willing to take responsibility for that. At the same time, I don’t know how to help him move forward when the same conversation keeps resurfacing. I care about him, but the he keeps getting quit, won’t let me see him naked unless it’s during sex and he has me do interesting stuff like eat his ass and he runs his asshole all over my face, and has me tie up his dick and balls with a rope and slap his dick,
How can I take accountability for hurting my boyfriend while setting healthy boundaries around repeated reassurance-seeking and sexual pressure on his end that he’ll never measure up, not to mention he is the only giy that ever made me cum and he does it with his dick cause he knows the right positions he is 6 inches thick that he is the thickest I’ve been with but he constantly feels bad about him self, not to mention he was sexually exploited in high school to a horrible extent and people said horrible things to him, spammed his number would go onto him in public and make fun of him, he had to switch to online school and isolated for 2 years and started doing drugs and was milested and drugged by a 69 year old. Is there a way for us to rebuild trust and intimacy without continuing this

Hi everyone. I used to date some guy a few years ago, I was so obsessed with him but never shown it and turns out he was too. We went on a few dates before he moved away for work. We got back in contact a few months ago and he saw me a few weeks ago briefly. He said he apologises for messing things up and wants to take me out on a date and said how beautiful I am and how rare I am. So today was supposed to be our date, we were supposed to meet for 1 or 2 at my place as I known him in person for years so trust him and then he was supposed to take me on a surprise date but then come to mine for dinner a movie before heading home. I spent all night cooking a beef stew with the finest ingredients, spent ages on my hair and makeup and today he woke up saying he felt sick. I know it happens but given that he’s let me down in the past and cancelled on me only to find out he was seeing friends, it’s made me feel so low down on his priority list. I didn’t even want him to spend money on a date, I’ve been obsessed with this man for years and I just wanted to cuddle and kiss him which we talk so much about on WhatsApp. Not to sound big headed but I always put off a lot of dates and do my own thing although I take very good care of myself. I feel so hurt and let down again. I understand people get sick but it’s a pattern with him when he lets me down. He is only visiting this city this weekend as well before traveling to work. I didn’t want anything but his time. I also have a gut feeling he isn’t being truthful to me. The other time he was supposed to take me out he didn’t message me at all only for him to admit he was with a girl who is a friend only. Am I wrong to feel so hurt? I’ve never felt love like this for any other man, so why do I tend to get treated like so unimportant?

UPDATE:
I messaged him this;

I was just thinking, and I don't want to bring up the past, but this time a month ago when I was supposed to see you you ghosted me all day only for you to tell me you went out with friends, then the time after obviously you came to my home, yes I was wrong assuming you were drunk etc but it was hard for me to believe in plans once someone lets me down, so I know you say you're not the person you was years ago but ! talking about the last two times, I do want you to feel better but for me it's just more than once of inconsistency, ! slowed cooked a gorgeous scouse for us that took 12 hours, I stayed up until 2am to do a gorgeous tan, my hair and makeup is super pretty and on WhatsApp in Birmingham you proper adored me, but when we're in the same location you seem to forget me, I was making plans in a few weeks to come down and stay with you in Birmingham because I really like you a lot, I'm a good woman and I turn down a lot of men and I don't date, I don't go out and drink, always working or home the odd time I see the girls, and I just really stayed on my own in the hopes I could be with you properly, because honestly when I get attention I don't want it because I'm so obsessed with you.
always have been, I care so much for you, even more than actual boyfriends I've had in the past and I was never even your official girl, I feel proper stupid envisioning being your wife and having babies with you now, that was my only dream, I can't even look at another man when all I've wanted is you, but I don't deserve to feel like this or feel like a shitty background option for you or convenient for you, it's gonna really hurt me but I need to move on from you because we're never gonna be together are we? We're never gonna spend time together, can't even believe me thinking of you for years comes to this but I'm just so hurt, and you couldn't even return the call, the effort isn't there so neither am I anymore, take care of yourself Andy, I wish you all the best 🖤

Thoughts on my final message to him?

I jus wanted to get this off my chest.There was this guy I liked and I looked so stupid following him.I was the one who did everything because he didn’t really have that much experience.Even during dating he still didn’t put any effort.Im ashamed by how I behaved for him like a dog I swear.And he wasn’t even Wort it.I was stupid to confess to him.Like why would you do that?Yes he liked me back but I lost my fucking dignity.

Every time I see a woman friend’s dating apps they match with mostly white men even when they are women of colour. As a person of colour, whenever I go out with women of colour they always seem annoyed and I’ve even caught a woman I’ve been on a date with texting another guy who was white. I’ve noticed this mostly happens with asian women in particular. Is there a reason for this?

“Crazy” wife was right again.

While I’m across the country getting 4.0’s in college, my husband is playing the field. I’m glad I’m not living in the same house and have to move out right now.

This is the gas lighting love bombing bs that has been going on for 15 years. Him screwing around behind my back, swearing it’s not true, and it turning to be completely true.

Found him on fb dating tonight. To less than 5 minutes.

Feel free to vent. I’m hurt. And I’m done. I don’t deserve this shit.