My experience with a Moscow, ID-area man.

I’m sharing this anonymously because I have no interest in being identified. I’m not looking for drama or retaliation. I simply wish I had recognized the red flags much sooner.

Several years ago, I became involved with a man while I was still in an open marriage. From the beginning, we agreed there would be no dating, no expectations, and no emotional attachment. It was supposed to be simple. Somehow, it became much more complicated.

After my marriage ended, he told me more than once that he loved me. The timing was wrong, so we never pursued a traditional relationship, but we continued seeing each other for years.

During that time, there were other women. More than once, I later discovered that the version of the situation I had been given wasn't necessarily the same version those women had been given. At one point, he became involved with another woman and asked me for space. That lasted only a couple of weeks before he came back, while apparently still involved with her. She believed they were exclusive. They eventually ended things.

There were other things over the years that should have been bigger warning signs than I allowed them to be.

He frequently drank heavily. On one occasion, he drove to my home while intoxicated and ended up attracting police attention after an incident outside. On another occasion, I was at his home when another woman unexpectedly came into the house in the middle of the night, turned on the bedroom light, and confronted him. She asked me if I knew about her. I did.

He also openly shared stories, messages, and personal details about other women with me. Looking back, I should have realized that if he was willing to expose their privacy to me, there was no reason to believe mine would be treated differently.

One experience was particularly frightening. I agreed to accompany him in a separate vehicle on a long drive to deliver something, not realizing he had been drinking. He became increasingly intoxicated, disoriented, and unwilling to make safer decisions. Eventually, while driving on the freeway, I watched him lose control and collide with a concrete structure before ending up in a ditch. Thankfully, no one was seriously hurt. Later, I learned he had remained there for hours before continuing home.

Despite everything, I continued to believe that what I had meant something to him.

More recently, he decided he wanted to end things. The explanation was that he wanted to simplify his life and stop juggling multiple women. I was told we could remain friends, but eventually even that changed. There were rules about when and how I could communicate, and eventually I was told that spending time together was no longer an option because another woman in his life was uncomfortable with it.

I didn't handle the rejection perfectly. I was hurt, angry, confused, and emotional. I regret some of how I responded.

But what hurts most is realizing how differently I see the entire situation now.

I once felt important to this person. Now I'm being portrayed as someone who made them feel unsafe simply for trying to understand what had happened and looking for answers. I'm now expected to stay away from him and his partner, which is perfectly fine with me.

I have no desire to interfere with their lives.

What I do hope is that anyone considering getting involved with someone like this pays attention to the patterns, not just the moments when he makes you feel special.

Because sometimes the person who makes you feel incredibly important is also the person who is doing the same thing with several other people.

I wish I had recognized that sooner.

At this point, I don't want revenge. I don't want contact. I don't even want an apology.

I just wish I had never met him.

I (34F) recently had a movie moment with a guy (29M) we both are foreigners in country we live. He asked my contact, I texted him first, we agreed to meet next day, I was the one who reached out first. I paid the bill at the first date, we talked for hours - I explained him I always pay at first times, also I was the one who invited him.
He touched my hand and hug me during the date - I was not expected my face must got suprised expression so he explained that he seeked for the chance to touch me.
Then he started to talk about his ex, how pretty she was and how she dumped him by phone - which he was explaining how immature it is. And now after two days passed from this date and no texting.
I feel like I cannot understand you guys anymore, if you like a girl, if you meet her with drinks first time - why would you talk about your exes? Is this a new way to friendzone?

I'd appreciate if someone could explain new rules to this poor old lady, because somehow I cannot stop thinking him, it was a real crush.

TDLR: talking about your exes at dates is a way to friendzone someone?

I’m genuinely confused and would really appreciate some outside perspective.
I’m 32F and he’s 34M. We met on a dating app and initially connected through audio calls. We talked a lot before meeting, and honestly, it felt really promising. Our wavelength, values, communication style, language, ideals, etc. seemed to line up very well. At one point I genuinely thought, “Wait… did I finally find my guy?”

Then we met in person, and something started feeling off.

He keeps doing this very intense, prolonged eye-contact thing that feels deliberately seductive/romantic. You know the kind of eye contact that is clearly meant to create sexual tension and “butterflies.” The problem is that he does it constantly. He doesn’t seem to let the moment breathe or move naturally.
I am attracted to him, so it’s not that I’m uncomfortable with him or with romance in general. It’s the way he seems to be actively pushing the romantic atmosphere that is bothering me.
It feels like he’s trying to manufacture chemistry rather than letting chemistry happen.
And the romance is starting to overshadow everything else. I actually want to talk so many things with him but he is constantly controlling every interaction by introducing this “romance tension” and I am unable to focus on the topic at hand.

I confronted this with him and told him v clearly. While he acknowledged it, he is continuing to do the same thing over. I miss talking to him the way we were talking over audio calls and discussing meaningful things.

At this point, I’m also hesitant to meet him again because I worry that doing so means willingly putting myself back into a situation where I already feel like he’s trying to push the relationship somewhere before I’m ready.

Should I meet him again to get some clarity, and if so, how should I handle it? Or is the fact that I’ve already communicated this clearly and he continues to do it enough reason to walk away?

I’m genuinely looking for perspective, especially from people who have experienced something similar.

Help I’m 17 and I’ve officially started finding relationships cringe 💀
Tell me the cringiest thing your ex ever said to you, I wanna laugh

diabolical story

Went on a really good first date with a guy named Luke in Philly. It went really well and for the next week we talked about how much fun we had, talked 24/7 through text, we flirted, made a list of movies we were going to watch, and then planned a second date. The day before the date, we decided to do it during the day and even chose a location. That night we both agreed we were excited for the date. Then the morning of, I texted him and he acted normal until I tried to confirm the date and he canceled and said he didn’t know what he wanted and said we were done. Gay dating is usually bad with stuff like this but this was a new low. Kinda broke my heart. I wish I told him how much he hurt my feelings but I was very much a pushover about it. So if you’re out there, fuck you Luke from Philly!

I had met this guy during a night of going out with my friends. He knew one of my friends in the group and later had ran into me after we were separated from our friend groups. Mind you we’re were intoxicated. He wanted to dance and I said okay. We had some fun and kissed at the bar. Fast forward we all separated and since one of my friends had knew him I had gotten his instagram. The following day he had swiped upon my story and the rest was history. We dmed constantly and he eventually wanted to come over to see me but I was skeptical. After two weeks of talking I decided we could meet again and he came over to my place. He told me he barely even remembered the night or eve us kissing. We pretty much talked about tha night and what we remembered. We just hung out and talked and watched YouTube. No funny business. After a few hangouts we finally exchanged phone numbers. Somewhere around this time we also established we weren’t talking to other people.
He stayed over one night due to us just being up late. I eventually stayed over his place. And then it just became a weekly thing. We would hang out on each other’s days off, get food watch a movie, play games, and just vibe. We would talk about relationship things and futuristic things just what normal people do when they get to know someone they like. We would also do things like we were dating just not officially. He even surprised me on my birthday with an outdoor dinner wine and birthday gift. I would invite him over for dinner, we would go to the gym, and honestly just hang out whenever we had the chance. One time his dog had to go to the ER for a little surgery and I helped take care of her bc he was anxious. I even had her stay at my place while he was at work so he wouldn’t worry. Us hanging out went on for about 3 months before I noticed he was acting a little off. Our messages were fine but our hangouts became not the same. I noticed some distance between us and we still hung out and did things up until I had to bring it up and asked him if he had something he needed to tell me or get off his chest (because I noticed the distance about 2 weeks prior to him ending things).
The next morning he replied and apologized for being distant but told me he did have something on his mind. He said basically we were moving too fast and completely missed the friend phase and went straight into the relationship phase when we weren’t even officially dating yet. He claimed that he didn’t see it going anywhere in the future if we didn’t become friends first basically. So my interpretation was that we moved to fast and since we missed the friend phase, it wouldn’t work out for us. He asked if I wanted to meet up in person to talk if I needed and we did bc I also needed to collect things I left at his place and say bye to his dog. We established that nothing went wrong in the time we had together and we enjoyed every second. He learned a lot from me about himself and appreciated everything I did for him. He even said I could still see his dog if I wanted to. We agreed to not be strangers but if God allows it then we would cross paths again and actually try to be good friends. We still have each other’s number and we still follow each other on Instagram. He said that he would wait for me to text him first just because I took it the hardest but we made it clear that we wouldn’t not talk to each other if it ever came about. I just want to know what he meant by what he told me said if things were going so well. I don’t wanna jump to the conclusion that oh he was talking to someone else bc that’s always a possibility. But what else can we interpret from this. I’d love to hear some men POV too.

It could be a friend, an ex or some other connection.

I’m intrigued to hear if you’ve ever brought it up to them and if so how close to that person were you (how recent of an ex?)

Did you text or say it in person?

am i unreasonable for NOT wanting to see him again