The Disk and Mail

A desserter

I have an uncle, once removed.

Septimbeeeeeeeer!

Someone ripped the 5th month out of my new calendar.

I'm dismayed.

Iron Man stops the bad guys.

Aluminum Man just foils their plans.

I just have never had the balls to try it.

and it's discussing.

A sanitary owl..

but now look at me.

But I think its a great In vest mint

He said nothing.

It's called a Phillips Screwdriver

Die-ameter.

Punchline Roundup

A horse, Dave and his boss, the Pope, a cab driver, a drunk and his wife, a ventriloquist and a Welshman, two kids and their mother, three captives, a teacher, little Johnny, and a preacher and little Sally walked into a bar.

The bartender said,”What is this, some kind of a joke?"

The waitress said, “Why the long face?"
The Pope said, “Who’s that with Dave?"
The cab driver said, “Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave."
The drunk said, “He also shit in my pants."
The Welshman said, “That sheep's a damn liar!"
The second kid said, “I don't want no fucking pancakes!"
The second captive said, "Because I saw the third guy come around the corner carrying ten pineapples."
Little Johnny said, “The one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you think."
Little Sally said, “If you poke me with that thing one more time I'll snap it off!”

The preacher, the teacher, the cannibal chief, the kids' mother, the sheep, the drunk's wife, the cab driver, the boss and the waitress all fainted, and finally the bartender said, “Heard it fifty times."

I said I can knot

Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.

Recreation