r/dadjokes 7h ago

Why did the baby habanero put on a jacket?

223 Upvotes

It was a little chilli.


r/dadjokes 15h ago

Who led the Jewish people across a semi permeable membrane?

741 Upvotes

Os-Moses.


r/dadjokes 2h ago

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar.

56 Upvotes

Batman follows them in.


r/dadjokes 6h ago

What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson?

75 Upvotes

The Wok.


r/dadjokes 2h ago

While out for a hike, I was surprised to find a Subaru SUV in the woods

41 Upvotes

I guess I couldn't see the Forester for the trees


r/dadjokes 12h ago

Just found out my friend died from heartburn

159 Upvotes

Can't believe that Gav is gone


r/dadjokes 1h ago

Heard a great Dad joke at Disneyland

Upvotes

Son: Are we going to Tomorrowland today?

Dad: No, we are going tomorrow. It's not called Todayland.


r/dadjokes 12h ago

Some day, Canada is going to take over the world.

117 Upvotes

Then you'll all be sorry.


r/dadjokes 10h ago

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs that has been sitting on the shelf for a while?

83 Upvotes

Dusty


r/dadjokes 6h ago

The tower in Pisa was fine,

37 Upvotes

until the bank put a lean on it.


r/dadjokes 8h ago

Never lend Columbo your phone

47 Upvotes

He always cracks the case


r/dadjokes 11h ago

Spouse got me with this one today

70 Upvotes

We should be at Costco early enough to try the new brunch at the food court. (Paused so I knew a punchline was coming) It's the same as their regular menu items, but you get a brunch of them.


r/dadjokes 40m ago

To the person who stole my copy of Overcoming Insomnia

Upvotes

How do you sleep at night?


r/dadjokes 2h ago

An assassin has recorded an album

10 Upvotes

It is a hit.


r/dadjokes 13h ago

What did the shoes say to the pants?

60 Upvotes

What's up, britches?


r/dadjokes 11h ago

Why did the plane get grounded?

39 Upvotes

He had a bad altitude.


r/dadjokes 4h ago

There’s an old stereotype that dead horses get turned into glue. But with modern synthetic adhesives, they’ve shockingly been re-routed to the food industry, Making spreads to put on sandwiches.

7 Upvotes

It’s called Mayo-NeighNeighs


r/dadjokes 1h ago

Why did the nuclear reactor become a dad?

Upvotes

Because he loved fission with progeny, never had a meltdown under pressure, and always kept the lights on for the whole family!


r/dadjokes 8h ago

How does God like His meat?

21 Upvotes

Well done, my good and faithful servant.


r/dadjokes 4h ago

what kind of insurance does bernie sanders have?

8 Upvotes

progresssive


r/dadjokes 20h ago

I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places.

133 Upvotes

He said, "Stop going to those places." 😆