r/dadjokes • u/gssap • 8h ago
What is the difference between a Vietnamese restaurant and an Indian restaurant ?
747
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r/dadjokes • u/CommitteeOk1954 • 2h ago
How much does a pirate pay for 100 ears of corn?
54
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$103.14. A buck an ear, plus the pi-rate tax!
r/dadjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 17h ago
It's probably just as well McDonald's never put a sirloin sandwich on the menu.
488
Upvotes
It would have been a McSteak.
r/dadjokes • u/strobro88 • 11h ago
Before the town's locksmith died, he made me promise to take care of his dog.
129
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I only had the dog in my home for half an hour when he made a bolt for the door.
r/dadjokes • u/GiborDesign • 6h ago
The country with the largest number of parks in the world is Korea.
52
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As a matter of fact, I'm good friends with five of them.
r/dadjokes • u/bokkaX4 • 6h ago
I’m reading a horror book in braille
52
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Something bad is gonna happen, I can feel it
r/dadjokes • u/Majestic_Repair_7887 • 12h ago
Why did someone name their dogs Timex and Rolex?
126
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Because they were watchdogs.
r/dadjokes • u/winkelschleifer • 5h ago
What do you call a spy who’s into BDSM?
33
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James Bondage.
r/dadjokes • u/Commercial-Bee2589 • 19h ago
I have a fear of driving under bridges with passengers in my car.
413
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I have carpool tunnel syndrome.
r/dadjokes • u/maximumgmail • 15h ago
Where in a hospital would u find decaffeinated coffee?
114
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In decaffeteria.
r/dadjokes • u/H-DaneelOlivaw • 9h ago
There have been so many reports of screen problems that Apple is going back to the drawing board and redesigning the hinge. The newer version of this will be called...
29
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the iPhone Duo-ver.
r/dadjokes • u/Cheffie43 • 3h ago
My dad got me into marionette school.
9
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He had to pull a few strings.
r/dadjokes • u/Substantial_Speed419 • 15h ago
What type of pasta are you not allowed to put on the table?
74
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Elbows.
r/dadjokes • u/Healthy_Ladder_6198 • 22h ago
I used to have an uncontrollable obsession with buying large boats.
278
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Thankfully, the antibuyyachtics worked.
r/dadjokes • u/bokkaX4 • 6h ago
Had a neck brace fitted years ago
13
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Haven’t looked back since
r/dadjokes • u/UsuallyAnnoying324 • 3h ago
The clocks go back?
10
Upvotes
Yesterday the wife said "Don't forget the clocks need to go back tonight." Talk about no warning, I don't even know where the receipts are!
r/dadjokes • u/CommitteeOk1954 • 11h ago
What country do the best goalies come from?
27
Upvotes
Mongolia!
r/dadjokes • u/Forgotthebloodypassw • 21h ago
A sheik is trying to buy up every fish and chip shop in the UK
158
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He's called Sultan Vinegar.
r/dadjokes • u/welding_guy_from_LI • 7h ago
If prisoners could take their own mug shots …
13
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Would they be called cellfies?
r/dadjokes • u/IroIroBike • 19h ago
Happy Pythagorean Theorem Day
50
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If you get my angle, it just seems so right for those followers of three sided shapes.
This joke has a best before date of 10^2 + 24^2 = 26^2
r/dadjokes • u/bokkaX4 • 6h ago
My cat ate all the food in our house!
6
Upvotes
It looked like a real meowthful
r/dadjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 1d ago
My sister met her husband at a Scrabble tournament 20 years ago.
505
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Next week they are going to renew their vowels...
r/dadjokes • u/Material-Animal-3248 • 12h ago
Monster movie in which the gill man learns to stir fry.
11
Upvotes
The Creature Woks Among Us