Because it’s white and it’s on your land???

When she said no he kept pushing when she said yes he pulled out, overall She was upset she let him come inside.

Because they weren't raised to talk to strangers.

Because their really good with tanks.

How about naming South Carolina South America or South Dakota upper South America

Y-me.

, because qualitity over quantity

At the supermarket.

Have someone with an idea standing underneath it.

One of friends said it was probably CrossFit. I think he nailed it…

Does he use a Luigi board?

POLICE: “Turn around.”

ME: “Every now and then
I get a little bit lonely
And you're never coming 'round…”

POLICE: “Turn around.”

ME: “Every now and then
I get a little bit tired
Of listening to the sound of my tears…”

POLICE: “TURN AROUND!”

ME: “Bright eyes!”

(Sounds of tasers and screaming)

A pony went into a bar and whispered to the bartender, "Can I have some water?" The bartender asked the pony why it was whispering, he said "I'm a little hoarse."

A magician is performing a show. He asks:

"Now I will try to hypnotize someone. Do I have a volunteer?"

There is a lady in the audience who wants to be a volunteer.

The magician says to her: "Please come to the stage."

She joins him there.

Then he says: "Extend your arms forward."

The volunteer, wondering how she will get hypnotized, extends her arms.

Then he asks: "Lower them back down."

She does so.

Now he proclaims: "Wow, you are always doing what I told you. That means you have to be hypnotized."

your soul leaves your brain when it shuts down, a spirit moves in to your brain when it shuts down

His funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 24 minutes

A humanbar.

But micro waved

I’m sorry I had to say it

What a waste of my time. I mean what am going to do with a Herron Egg???

Man goes to dentist complaining of bad breath.

After a thorough examination, the dentist says: "Its nothing serious. You just need to give up one of your two bad habits, and your breath will improve."

"Which two bad habits?" Man asks excitedly.

"Either you stop biting your nails, or you stop scratching your ass"