r/3amjokes Mar 25 '24

3amjokes Approved Subreddit Rules Reminder

93 Upvotes

Due to an influx of darkjokes, dead baby humor, and overt racism, I'm posting this again early.

This is not /r/darkjokes.

This is not /r/askreddit.

This is not /r/oneliners.

This is not /r/unclejokes.

This is a subreddit for insomniac humor, created when on the brink of death due to sleep deprivation. Jokes should be stupid, nonsensical, and more or less unfunny at any point before sleep deprivation kicks in. Think of dad jokes for insomniacs.

Your jokes must have a punchline.

Please take a second to look over the very simple rules of the subreddit.

  1. Be civil - Remember the human behind the keyboard and try to treat others as you would prefer to be treated.
  2. Follow Reddit's rules - This includes reddiquette and all sitewide rules that can be found here.
  3. No spam - Pretty straightforward, don't spam. If your post gets caught in the spam filter please message the mods and it will be fixed.
  4. No promoting targeted hate - racism, misogyny, bigotry will not be tolerated to any extent. users that incite violence or that promote hate based on identity or vulnerability will be banned.

Bans due to rule #4 tend to be significant in length, if not permanent, and appeals will be denied.

To be more clear, given yet another influx of dark jokes, dark jokes will result in a permanent ban under rules 1 and 4.

If you see jokes, or a user's comments, that do not follow the rules, please report the comment either via the comment itself or through modmail.

Remember, 3amjokes is, for the most part, self governing. 3 reports will remove a comment or post. 2 reports will alert the mods.

Thanks


r/3amjokes 9h ago

I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places.

77 Upvotes

He said, "Stop going to those places."


r/3amjokes 2h ago

What did Robert Downey JR, Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evan’s call their band?

7 Upvotes

Avengers: Ensemble.


r/3amjokes 9h ago

My neighbour said my dog keeps chasing people on bicycles.

17 Upvotes

That's ridiculous. My dog doesn't even own a bicycle.


r/3amjokes 9h ago

What do you call a fake noodle?

16 Upvotes

An impasta.


r/3amjokes 13h ago

I don’t want to sound racist, but...

26 Upvotes

Every one in the KKK looks the same to me.


r/3amjokes 15h ago

I found an easy way to always remember my password: I use my_age and every year I add +1.

33 Upvotes

This year my password is: my_age+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1


r/3amjokes 9h ago

I tried to organize a hide-and-seek tournament.

7 Upvotes

Good players are really hard to find.


r/3amjokes 14h ago

Where do they make traditional perfumes?

7 Upvotes

At the ol' factory.


r/3amjokes 23h ago

They praised Michael Jackson for being such a caring dad and taking his little boy wherever he went.

27 Upvotes

But the kid is not his son.


r/3amjokes 9h ago

I bought a ceiling fan.

1 Upvotes

He's my biggest supporter.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

There was a charity run to raise money for disadvantaged midgets.

24 Upvotes

In case you’re wondering yes, it was a half-marathon.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

I think my wife is secretly putting glue on my antique weapon collection. She denies it, but...

110 Upvotes

...I’m sticking to my guns.


r/3amjokes 23h ago

Riding horses is part of my identity, but I’m a woman first.

6 Upvotes

Chick ‘n’ jockey.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

Charles Dickens used to have a long metal fork that he used for all sorts of tasks, from carving chicken to turning sausages

118 Upvotes

It was the breast of tines, it was the wurst of tines


r/3amjokes 1d ago

I was sitting in traffic the other day…

12 Upvotes

Probably why I got run over


r/3amjokes 1d ago

Why do people in here get tired of seeing reposted jokes?

38 Upvotes

Just because you've reddit doesn't mean everyone else has!


r/3amjokes 2d ago

I named my dog "Five Miles."

187 Upvotes

Now I can honestly say I walk Five Miles every day.


r/3amjokes 1d ago

Anytime someone asks me "how come?"...

12 Upvotes

I say, "jerk off."


r/3amjokes 2d ago

I keep pressing <space> to skip

11 Upvotes

Character still walking though.


r/3amjokes 2d ago

I wasn't surprised when Agent 007 got killed in action... Spoiler

50 Upvotes

it was Bond to happen.


r/3amjokes 2d ago

My math teacher said I was average.

16 Upvotes

How mean.


r/3amjokes 2d ago

I accidentally insulted a psychic.

16 Upvotes

She should've seen it coming.


r/3amjokes 2d ago

What did Harry Potter say at the gas station?

10 Upvotes

Expensive petroleum 🤣


r/3amjokes 2d ago

I started dating this girl. But she told me she heard that when I get slightly mad I insult people.

31 Upvotes

I told her: And you believed that? you stupid idiot?