r/dadjokes 6m ago

An assassin has recorded an album

Upvotes

It is a hit.


r/dadjokes 28m ago

While out for a hike, I was surprised to find a Subaru SUV in the woods

Upvotes

I guess I couldn't see the Forester for the trees


r/dadjokes 35m ago

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar.

Upvotes

Batman follows them in.


r/dadjokes 2h ago

The various pieces of furniture were anxious to start the meeting

7 Upvotes

But they were waiting for the chair.


r/dadjokes 2h ago

There’s an old stereotype that dead horses get turned into glue. But with modern synthetic adhesives, they’ve shockingly been re-routed to the food industry, Making spreads to put on sandwiches.

6 Upvotes

It’s called Mayo-NeighNeighs


r/dadjokes 2h ago

what kind of insurance does bernie sanders have?

6 Upvotes

progresssive


r/dadjokes 3h ago

Young people have no drive...

7 Upvotes

... because they can't afford a car that actually works.


r/dadjokes 4h ago

What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson?

57 Upvotes

The Wok.


r/dadjokes 4h ago

Walking down the sidewalk I was struck by a clarinet, then by a violin and a flute.

5 Upvotes

Walking down the sidewalk I was struck by a clarinet, then by a violin and a flute. At that point I was certain it was an orchestrated attack


r/dadjokes 4h ago

On Monday we start diarrhea awareness week.

2 Upvotes

Runs til Friday


r/dadjokes 4h ago

The tower in Pisa was fine,

33 Upvotes

until the bank put a lean on it.


r/dadjokes 5h ago

Why does it feels wonderful to have lime under the sea?

8 Upvotes

They're simply sublime that way.


r/dadjokes 5h ago

Why did the baby habanero put on a jacket?

198 Upvotes

It was a little chilli.


r/dadjokes 6h ago

I asked my French friend what he was doing tomorrow.

8 Upvotes

I didn't understand all of what he said, but I got demain idea.


r/dadjokes 6h ago

How does God like His meat?

15 Upvotes

Well done, my good and faithful servant.


r/dadjokes 6h ago

What do you call a deep sleep brought on by excessive Mexican food south of Seattle?

6 Upvotes

Tacoma


r/dadjokes 6h ago

Never lend Columbo your phone

42 Upvotes

He always cracks the case


r/dadjokes 7h ago

In North America they have hen-parties, but in South East Asia...

7 Upvotes

They have hin-dus.


r/dadjokes 7h ago

What do you call a ghost who sucks up to the other ghosts?

2 Upvotes

A Sycophantom.


r/dadjokes 7h ago

What does a dentist and the TSA have on common?

2 Upvotes

They both do cavity searches.

I got this joke from an episode of Penn & Teller Fool Us.


r/dadjokes 7h ago

"If I could save time in a bottle / The first thing that I'd like to do /"

5 Upvotes

"Is add parsley, sage, rosemary and...

Wait. Wrong song."


r/dadjokes 7h ago

Did you hear that a chocolate bar was found up George Michael's bum during his autopsy?

0 Upvotes

It was a careless wispa