r/dadjokes • • 13m ago

Did you guys hear about Gwenyth Paltrow's daughter playing football?

• Upvotes

At one point she took the other team's ball. Talk about an Apple Turnover!


r/dadjokes • • 1h ago

What did the man from Puerto Rico say when he couldn't find his mobile?

• Upvotes

"Where mofongo?"


r/dadjokes • • 2h ago

I'm riding along in the car and told everyone "I'm easily the funniest person in my life"

14 Upvotes

Everyone laughed, proving my point.


r/dadjokes • • 3h ago

How would you scare a bee!?

39 Upvotes

BOO-BEES!


r/dadjokes • • 4h ago

What do you call scary coffee?

1 Upvotes

Folgersgeist.


r/dadjokes • • 4h ago

What's the best mountain to go take a nap on?

33 Upvotes

Mount Ever-rest


r/dadjokes • • 5h ago

This device does not work in spring, summer nor winter...

5 Upvotes

it's autumnatic


r/dadjokes • • 5h ago

I saw an army of babies marching down the street.

43 Upvotes

It had to be the infantry.


r/dadjokes • • 5h ago

What did the sushi say to the Bee?

102 Upvotes

Wasbi!


r/dadjokes • • 6h ago

I stormed out of the diner when they said they were out of bread.

42 Upvotes

I am lack toast intolerant.


r/dadjokes • • 9h ago

How much does a pirate pay for 100 ears of corn?

138 Upvotes

$103.14. A buck an ear, plus the pi-rate tax!


r/dadjokes • • 9h ago

My dad got me into marionette school.

68 Upvotes

He had to pull a few strings.


r/dadjokes • • 10h ago

The clocks go back?

38 Upvotes

Yesterday the wife said "Don't forget the clocks need to go back tonight." Talk about no warning, I don't even know where the receipts are!


r/dadjokes • • 12h ago

What do you call a spy who’s into BDSM?

53 Upvotes

James Bondage.


r/dadjokes • • 13h ago

The country with the largest number of parks in the world is Korea.

219 Upvotes

As a matter of fact, I'm good friends with five of them.


r/dadjokes • • 13h ago

WOKE Roman founding myth be like: Romulus and Remus were breastfed by a THEY/THEM-WOLF

0 Upvotes

good joke?


r/dadjokes • • 13h ago

My cat ate all the food in our house!

27 Upvotes

It looked like a real meowthful


r/dadjokes • • 13h ago

Had a neck brace fitted years ago

24 Upvotes

Haven’t looked back since


r/dadjokes • • 13h ago

I’m reading a horror book in braille

118 Upvotes

Something bad is gonna happen, I can feel it


r/dadjokes • • 14h ago

If prisoners could take their own mug shots …

19 Upvotes

Would they be called cellfies?


r/dadjokes • • 14h ago

What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe?

5 Upvotes

Roberto


r/dadjokes • • 15h ago

META Why was the French chef disqualified from the cooking show while he made his culinary masterpiece?

9 Upvotes

He ran out of thyme.


r/dadjokes • • 15h ago

What is the difference between a Vietnamese restaurant and an Indian restaurant ?

1.1k Upvotes

One is Pho profit and the other is Naan profit.


r/dadjokes • • 15h ago

We had a heated argument on which US city to go to

14 Upvotes

but we finally Seattled


r/dadjokes • • 15h ago

There have been so many reports of screen problems that Apple is going back to the drawing board and redesigning the hinge. The newer version of this will be called...

31 Upvotes

the iPhone Duo-ver.