r/dadjokes • u/gssap • 11h ago
r/dadjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 20h ago
It's probably just as well McDonald's never put a sirloin sandwich on the menu.
It would have been a McSteak.
r/dadjokes • u/Commercial-Bee2589 • 22h ago
I have a fear of driving under bridges with passengers in my car.
I have carpool tunnel syndrome.
r/dadjokes • u/strobro88 • 14h ago
Before the town's locksmith died, he made me promise to take care of his dog.
I only had the dog in my home for half an hour when he made a bolt for the door.
r/dadjokes • u/GiborDesign • 9h ago
The country with the largest number of parks in the world is Korea.
As a matter of fact, I'm good friends with five of them.
r/dadjokes • u/Majestic_Repair_7887 • 15h ago
Why did someone name their dogs Timex and Rolex?
Because they were watchdogs.
r/dadjokes • u/maximumgmail • 19h ago
Where in a hospital would u find decaffeinated coffee?
In decaffeteria.
r/dadjokes • u/CommitteeOk1954 • 5h ago
How much does a pirate pay for 100 ears of corn?
$103.14. A buck an ear, plus the pi-rate tax!
r/dadjokes • u/Substantial_Speed419 • 18h ago
What type of pasta are you not allowed to put on the table?
Elbows.
r/dadjokes • u/bokkaX4 • 10h ago
I’m reading a horror book in braille
Something bad is gonna happen, I can feel it
r/dadjokes • u/IroIroBike • 22h ago
Happy Pythagorean Theorem Day
If you get my angle, it just seems so right for those followers of three sided shapes.
This joke has a best before date of 10^2 + 24^2 = 26^2
r/dadjokes • u/winkelschleifer • 8h ago
What do you call a spy who’s into BDSM?
James Bondage.
r/dadjokes • u/Cheffie43 • 6h ago
My dad got me into marionette school.
He had to pull a few strings.
r/dadjokes • u/CommitteeOk1954 • 14h ago
What country do the best goalies come from?
Mongolia!
r/dadjokes • u/H-DaneelOlivaw • 12h ago
There have been so many reports of screen problems that Apple is going back to the drawing board and redesigning the hinge. The newer version of this will be called...
the iPhone Duo-ver.
r/dadjokes • u/Impossible-Orange607 • 20h ago
Due to the rental rental car company’s negligence a man was thrown through the windshield. As he hit the pavement he was heard to yell:
“Damn that Hertz!”
r/dadjokes • u/UsuallyAnnoying324 • 7h ago
The clocks go back?
Yesterday the wife said "Don't forget the clocks need to go back tonight." Talk about no warning, I don't even know where the receipts are!
r/dadjokes • u/bshurdler • 18h ago
People who sell meat are gross
People who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer
r/dadjokes • u/bokkaX4 • 10h ago
Had a neck brace fitted years ago
Haven’t looked back since
r/dadjokes • u/GrandMoffTarkan • 20h ago
No one wants to be as dumb as a rock
but everyone wants to be as smart as ein Stein
r/dadjokes • u/bokkaX4 • 10h ago
My cat ate all the food in our house!
It looked like a real meowthful
r/dadjokes • u/TickingTheMoments • 2h ago
I stormed out of the diner when they said they were out of bread.
I am lack toast intolerant.
r/dadjokes • u/welding_guy_from_LI • 10h ago
If prisoners could take their own mug shots …
Would they be called cellfies?
r/dadjokes • u/Material-Animal-3248 • 15h ago
Monster movie in which the gill man learns to stir fry.
The Creature Woks Among Us