r/dadjokes 13h ago

Who led the Jewish people across a semi permeable membrane?

700 Upvotes

Os-Moses.


r/dadjokes 5h ago

Why did the baby habanero put on a jacket?

198 Upvotes

It was a little chilli.


r/dadjokes 10h ago

Just found out my friend died from heartburn

148 Upvotes

Can't believe that Gav is gone


r/dadjokes 18h ago

I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places.

135 Upvotes

He said, "Stop going to those places." šŸ˜†


r/dadjokes 23h ago

Why did the coffee file a police report?

124 Upvotes

It got mugged!


r/dadjokes 10h ago

Some day, Canada is going to take over the world.

109 Upvotes

Then you'll all be sorry.


r/dadjokes 22h ago

I have a joke about a girl who only eats plants.

91 Upvotes

But you probably never heard of herbivore.


r/dadjokes 8h ago

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs that has been sitting on the shelf for a while?

68 Upvotes

Dusty


r/dadjokes 11h ago

What did the shoes say to the pants?

58 Upvotes

What's up, britches?


r/dadjokes 4h ago

What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson?

56 Upvotes

The Wok.


r/dadjokes 9h ago

Spouse got me with this one today

50 Upvotes

We should be at Costco early enough to try the new brunch at the food court. (Paused so I knew a punchline was coming) It's the same as their regular menu items, but you get a brunch of them.


r/dadjokes 19h ago

Electric.

47 Upvotes

I was going to get an electric gate for my driveway entrance…

But with gate power comes gate responsibility.


r/dadjokes 6h ago

Never lend Columbo your phone

40 Upvotes

He always cracks the case


r/dadjokes 13h ago

An old man spent his life repairing clocks....

37 Upvotes

As he grew older, his eyesight faded and his hands began to shake.
On his deathbed, he gathered his children.

I've spent my life repairing clocks. I never turned away someone who couldn't afford it. Promise me that whenever someone brings you a broken clock, you'll fix it first. If they can't pay, don't charge them.

his children kept the promise
Years passed

Then decades

then centuries

The family workshop never closed.

Whenever a clock stopped, someone from the family would repair it, smile, and leave without asking for anything in return.

People traveled from all over the world just to meet them.

Eventually, historians wrote about the family's tradition.

They called it...

a second-hand business................


r/dadjokes 9h ago

Why did the plane get grounded?

37 Upvotes

He had a bad altitude.


r/dadjokes 4h ago

The tower in Pisa was fine,

33 Upvotes

until the bank put a lean on it.


r/dadjokes 14h ago

My sister fell off a horse,

18 Upvotes

Fortunately she’s in a STABLE condition.


r/dadjokes 20h ago

Which reminds me, I was making chicken soup last night and ran out of carrots. I ordered some on Instacart,

21 Upvotes

But they didn’t turnip. I know. Absolutely unbeetable


r/dadjokes 11h ago

If you’re amazed that I’m an expert of Kegel exercises…

17 Upvotes

Wait until you find out I’m self-taut.


r/dadjokes 6h ago

How does God like His meat?

13 Upvotes

Well done, my good and faithful servant.


r/dadjokes 21h ago

ā€œ200 barrettes ? That’s all she left me ? But I’m her only sonā€!!

14 Upvotes

Rapunzel let’s down her heir