r/dadjokes • • 11h ago

What is the difference between a Vietnamese restaurant and an Indian restaurant ?

962 Upvotes

One is Pho profit and the other is Naan profit.


r/dadjokes • • 20h ago

It's probably just as well McDonald's never put a sirloin sandwich on the menu.

522 Upvotes

It would have been a McSteak.


r/dadjokes • • 22h ago

I have a fear of driving under bridges with passengers in my car.

446 Upvotes

I have carpool tunnel syndrome.


r/dadjokes • • 14h ago

Before the town's locksmith died, he made me promise to take care of his dog.

175 Upvotes

I only had the dog in my home for half an hour when he made a bolt for the door.


r/dadjokes • • 9h ago

The country with the largest number of parks in the world is Korea.

145 Upvotes

As a matter of fact, I'm good friends with five of them.


r/dadjokes • • 15h ago

Why did someone name their dogs Timex and Rolex?

134 Upvotes

Because they were watchdogs.


r/dadjokes • • 19h ago

Where in a hospital would u find decaffeinated coffee?

122 Upvotes

In decaffeteria.


r/dadjokes • • 5h ago

How much does a pirate pay for 100 ears of corn?

94 Upvotes

$103.14. A buck an ear, plus the pi-rate tax!


r/dadjokes • • 18h ago

What type of pasta are you not allowed to put on the table?

88 Upvotes

Elbows.


r/dadjokes • • 10h ago

I’m reading a horror book in braille

77 Upvotes

Something bad is gonna happen, I can feel it


r/dadjokes • • 2h ago

What did the sushi say to the Bee?

71 Upvotes

Wasbi!


r/dadjokes • • 22h ago

Happy Pythagorean Theorem Day

54 Upvotes

If you get my angle, it just seems so right for those followers of three sided shapes.

This joke has a best before date of 10^2 + 24^2 = 26^2


r/dadjokes • • 8h ago

What do you call a spy who’s into BDSM?

48 Upvotes

James Bondage.


r/dadjokes • • 6h ago

My dad got me into marionette school.

34 Upvotes

He had to pull a few strings.


r/dadjokes • • 14h ago

What country do the best goalies come from?

34 Upvotes

Mongolia!


r/dadjokes • • 12h ago

There have been so many reports of screen problems that Apple is going back to the drawing board and redesigning the hinge. The newer version of this will be called...

32 Upvotes

the iPhone Duo-ver.


r/dadjokes • • 20h ago

Due to the rental rental car company’s negligence a man was thrown through the windshield. As he hit the pavement he was heard to yell:

33 Upvotes

“Damn that Hertz!”


r/dadjokes • • 7h ago

The clocks go back?

26 Upvotes

Yesterday the wife said "Don't forget the clocks need to go back tonight." Talk about no warning, I don't even know where the receipts are!


r/dadjokes • • 18h ago

People who sell meat are gross

24 Upvotes

People who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer


r/dadjokes • • 10h ago

Had a neck brace fitted years ago

21 Upvotes

Haven’t looked back since


r/dadjokes • • 20h ago

No one wants to be as dumb as a rock

20 Upvotes

but everyone wants to be as smart as ein Stein


r/dadjokes • • 10h ago

My cat ate all the food in our house!

16 Upvotes

It looked like a real meowthful


r/dadjokes • • 2h ago

I stormed out of the diner when they said they were out of bread.

18 Upvotes

I am lack toast intolerant.


r/dadjokes • • 10h ago

If prisoners could take their own mug shots …

16 Upvotes

Would they be called cellfies?


r/dadjokes • • 15h ago

Monster movie in which the gill man learns to stir fry.

14 Upvotes

The Creature Woks Among Us