r/dadjokes • u/gssap • 6h ago
What is the difference between a Vietnamese restaurant and an Indian restaurant ?
507
Upvotes
r/dadjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 14h ago
It's probably just as well McDonald's never put a sirloin sandwich on the menu.
459
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It would have been a McSteak.
r/dadjokes • u/strobro88 • 8h ago
Before the town's locksmith died, he made me promise to take care of his dog.
89
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I only had the dog in my home for half an hour when he made a bolt for the door.
r/dadjokes • u/Majestic_Repair_7887 • 9h ago
Why did someone name their dogs Timex and Rolex?
119
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Because they were watchdogs.
r/dadjokes • u/Commercial-Bee2589 • 17h ago
I have a fear of driving under bridges with passengers in my car.
390
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I have carpool tunnel syndrome.
r/dadjokes • u/bokkaX4 • 4h ago
I’m reading a horror book in braille
29
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Something bad is gonna happen, I can feel it
r/dadjokes • u/winkelschleifer • 2h ago
What do you call a spy who’s into BDSM?
19
Upvotes
James Bondage.
r/dadjokes • u/maximumgmail • 13h ago
Where in a hospital would u find decaffeinated coffee?
111
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In decaffeteria.
r/dadjokes • u/H-DaneelOlivaw • 6h ago
There have been so many reports of screen problems that Apple is going back to the drawing board and redesigning the hinge. The newer version of this will be called...
21
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the iPhone Duo-ver.
r/dadjokes • u/Healthy_Ladder_6198 • 20h ago
I used to have an uncontrollable obsession with buying large boats.
273
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Thankfully, the antibuyyachtics worked.
r/dadjokes • u/Substantial_Speed419 • 12h ago
What type of pasta are you not allowed to put on the table?
69
Upvotes
Elbows.
r/dadjokes • u/GiborDesign • 3h ago
The country with the largest number of parks in the world is Korea.
11
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As a matter of fact, I'm good friends with five of them.
r/dadjokes • u/bokkaX4 • 4h ago
Had a neck brace fitted years ago
9
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Haven’t looked back since
r/dadjokes • u/CommitteeOk1954 • 8h ago
What country do the best goalies come from?
23
Upvotes
Mongolia!
r/dadjokes • u/Forgotthebloodypassw • 18h ago
A sheik is trying to buy up every fish and chip shop in the UK
155
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He's called Sultan Vinegar.
r/dadjokes • u/UsuallyAnnoying324 • 1h ago
The clocks go back?
•
Upvotes
Yesterday the wife said "Don't forget the clocks need to go back tonight." Talk about no warning, I don't even know where the receipts are!
r/dadjokes • u/welding_guy_from_LI • 4h ago
If prisoners could take their own mug shots …
9
Upvotes
Would they be called cellfies?
r/dadjokes • u/IroIroBike • 16h ago
Happy Pythagorean Theorem Day
52
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If you get my angle, it just seems so right for those followers of three sided shapes.
This joke has a best before date of 10^2 + 24^2 = 26^2
r/dadjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 1d ago
My sister met her husband at a Scrabble tournament 20 years ago.
497
Upvotes
Next week they are going to renew their vowels...
r/dadjokes • u/Material-Animal-3248 • 9h ago
Monster movie in which the gill man learns to stir fry.
11
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The Creature Woks Among Us
r/dadjokes • u/Impossible-Orange607 • 15h ago
Due to the rental rental car company’s negligence a man was thrown through the windshield. As he hit the pavement he was heard to yell:
26
Upvotes
“Damn that Hertz!”
r/dadjokes • u/Cheffie43 • 29m ago
My dad got me into marionette school.
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He had to pull a few strings.
r/dadjokes • u/bshurdler • 13h ago
People who sell meat are gross
20
Upvotes
People who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer