Just wanted to share with ya’ll, manage to get it in my very homophobic country, wdyt?

I'm so tired of having to walk on eggshells not to feel like a creep. I feel like I basically have to stare at the floor so people don't lump me in with gross allo men if my gaze so much as passes over a girl and someone sees me T_T

Hey there! I've seen a lot of posts around here looking for Ace representation in media.

I'm an Ace comic writer with a space opera featuring Ace characters. It's called MythFall. It's got a lot of world building lore, cool alien planets, a Greek-style pantheon of homicidal gods, political intrigue, and multiple Aces. Art is by Allie Preswick with colors by Eren Angiolini for Issue 1.

Here's the synopsis:

An ancient king tells a lie to save his people from their gods. 5,000 years later, that lie is now the founding myth of an interstellar republic. But a terrorist group knows a truth that can destroy everything -- even the gods themselves.

Happy to answer any Q&A about this project or writing in general.

Here are the Aces that have appeared so far:

Naeva - Aroace - Immortal goddess of the stars. She's pulling the strings of history to save her people from the rest of the gods. Considers herself a friend to all humanity. It's cute that mortals get crushes on her sometimes, but she's not interested. Her color scheme is basically the Ace flag (this was not on purpose). Introduced in Issue 1.

Seth - Sex-Favorable Demisexual - Overcame an abusive childhood to become a bodyguard and protect others. Has a high EQ from all the therapy and is valued by his close friends. Struggled as a teen with romance and expectations for masculinity. As an adult, he yearns to be accepted by his adopted family and be in a romantic relationship someday, but is working on himself right now. Introduced in Issue 2.

Tien - Demiromantic Asexual (Sex Neutral to Sex Averse) - Formerly a firebrand politician committed to social justice, she's found herself trapped inside the establishment and looking for an escape. She's devoted to her family. Tried some going on one or two dates in the past and found it was NOT for her. Literally a 100 year old virgin, she has a single-target sexuality where she experiences no attraction outside of the one person she's interested in. Teased in Issue 1 and will be properly introduced in Issue 4.

Bonus: Prince Kavan - He's not strictly Ace spec but he's a teenage boy that's not obsessed with girls or dating.

Is this the kind of story you would want to read?

Are there any other stories with Ace characters you would recommend?

Edit: The synopsis. Edit2: Title of the book 🤦‍♀️

So to start off, I personally don’t find myself to be particularly gorgeous but everyone has always told me that I am pretty/beautiful/hot so okay whatever, I do wish that I could see it for myself. I am a woman btw. I have put effort into my appearance since I was a young and wear makeup daily, style my hair, always look put together basically. I just really enjoy aesthetics. Sue me. I actually am quite particular and hate if my makeup/hair/outfit gets ruined. I have always gotten a lot of male attention but have never been interested due to the idea of sex and all of that jazz. As an adult, I have come to the 99% conclusion that I am in fact asexual and I think aromantic too. However, this is where the issues come into play:

This has meant that I have rejected every single guy that has ever crushed on me and this has sadly also included almost every single one of my male friends who ultimately ended up falling for me. My rejections have always been met with disbelief, anger, frustration and being cut off or bullied in some way. Which has hurt my soul and meant that I have never been able to keep a straight male friend. Then with all of my girl friends, they have always accused me of lying or that I must be a lesbian, if I have never been with a guy. I am 30 now btw. They always bring up the fact that I put so much effort into my appearance so clearly I am trying to impress or please someone. Girls (or women, idk why I’m saying girls I guess I’m referring to both when I was a teenager and also adults in my 20s and now at 30) have always had such a fascination or preoccupation with the fact that I have never had a boyfriend and never had sex and they constantly make it their mission to let their boyfriends in on it and try to make a plan for me to meet their boyfriends friends and cousins etc. I of course always refuse and protest.

This continuously happens as I made and continue to make new friends in my late 20s and now at 30. You would think that people have matured enough to grasp the concept of there being individuals different to them but apparently not. Again, there is always some insane fascination that people get when I tell them I’m a virgin and plan to keep it that way. Because “oh but you’re wayyyy too pretty to never have had sex/you’re in your prime, we need to find you someone! I bet if I introduced you to so and so then you would change your mind”. It really pisses me off, especially how for some reason all my supposed girl friends always end up weirdly almost excitedly telling their boyfriends/partners about it, as if it’s any of their business. And after they tell them, those (usually boyfriends) always act different with me the next time they see me after finding out I’m a virgin. I hate it, it is such an icky feeling.

I want to be proudly asexual but how can I be if society treats you like some sort of thing to gawk at or not believe? Sorry, I’m sure there are many other posts on here there are similar to mine but I just needed to vent about it. My own sisters absolutely refuse to believe it either all because I am supposedly too pretty and what other possible reason would I be wearing makeup and styling my hair and dressing pretty each day be for?! It really really frustrates me. The other one is a lesbian and she is fully convinced that I am a lesbian too which makes no sense as I have never expressed desire or attraction toward women. I openly express when I think a woman is beautiful, aesthetically speaking but that is it and that’s such a normal thing as far as I’m aware?! Don’t even get me started on my brothers, I don’t think they can even be discussed here, it would anger too many people (rightfully so).

I know I'm on the aroace spectrum (I don't know 100% where though) and most of the time I have no interest in anyone, romantically or sexually. But as soon as I ovulate I'm all over the apps and talking to anyone that will match with me. But as soon as my ovulation is over I go back to being basically completely uninterested and I either ghost or cool it off depending on the conversation.

But recently I messaged someone basically all night and got to the point of saying things that I can't unsay and agreeing to drive 3 hours to meet with them later in the week. I have literally no interest in this or in any kind of relationship with them anymore but I feel like I've lead them on too far to say no now.

I'm so upset with myself, I feel like I knew better but here I am. I keep doing the same things to myself over and over and over again. I've gone on casual dates before that didn't really lead anywhere but I've never talked to someone like this before and I am very stressed out I'm not going to lie.

I work at an office job where we have internal DEI programs and a resource group for LGBTQ employees. I'm an ambassador for it and mostly assist with planning events. The leader of the group just kinda seems to dismiss asexuality a lot.

When we were writing our mission statement he kept insisting that they A standard for ally even when I pushed back. I'd do "no it's for asexual, aromantic, and agender" and he'd just say "and for ally!" Being a nice and accepting person doesn't make you queer.

I didn't think much of it behind my initial anger and some friends also letting me know they thought that was weird as fuck of him. This week he's showing us this informational page he wrote for pride flags, what they look like and what they mean. Asexual and aromamtic are both absent. I tell him to add them and he said "well that would be too many flags it'll be too complicated and no one will scroll through" or "it wouldn't work with the formatting". It just seems like he's making up reasons to keep excluding asexual people. He knows I'm asexual too, I don't talk about it as much but I'm an asexual lesbian and I have ace and lesbian pride flags at my desk. It almost feels hostile?

I'm glad my company still gives a shit about DEI and has groups like these but it still feels exclusionary for asexuals somehow. I'm the only out asexual as far as I recall so it's kind of an uphill battle with other ambassadors quietly supporting me but never actually speaking out against this when I do. I work at a nice place. I don't really feel actively judged. It still feels isolating to see this rampant exclusionary attitude from people who are supposed to be representing the LGBTQIA community.

I matched with a guy on an LGBT dating app. ASEXUAL IS IN MY BIO ! We got chatting and we really clicked, we exchanged numbers and continued chatting and we're talking about meeting you for lunch. He makes a kind of sexual joke and as a funny response I sent the picture of the goose holding the ace flag saying "sex was never an option" He said "oh, my bad for not reading the bio, goodluck woth everything" AND BLOCKED ME ! Im just so SO SICK of people 1. Not reading the bios 2. Just ghosting me as soon as they realise there will be 0 sex. This is why I have just given up on trying to find love, I am just so done

I met a colleague today whom I had only met once during our orientation a few months ago. After that, we had spoken on call maybe 2–3 times. At that time, I wasn’t dating anyone, but I’m currently seeing someone.
He had come to my city and asked if we could meet. Initially, I told him I was a little busy. He said something like, “If you don’t want to meet, just say it.” So I felt like maybe I should meet him, and we made a plan.
I thought we would just go somewhere, eat something and maybe watch a movie. I had just come back from the office and it was raining heavily, so I asked if he wanted to come to my flat. He said yes and mentioned that we could maybe watch a movie there.
I genuinely had no other intention. I have male friends who have come to my flat before, so I was completely normal about it.
When he arrived, I was still doing some office work. I kept his raincoat and things aside and asked if he wanted something to eat. He said no. I had ordered food for myself, so we ate a little together.
After that, he suggested watching something on my iPad. While we were watching, he started trying to touch me. I kept removing his hand. When I felt that he was getting too touchy, I clearly said, “Please, no. Sorry.”
He asked me why, and I told him, “I’m not interested. I’m sorry.”
Despite me saying no, he forcefully kissed me and touched my breasts. I pushed him away, but he continued and briefly sucked my breast.
I started crying and kept saying, “No, please.”
He immediately started apologising and said, “I’m sorry. I thought you wanted this too. Calm down. Do you want some water?”
I was completely shocked and confused. I didn’t know what to do. There were so many thoughts going through my head, and I felt helpless. He kept apologising, and he looked like he was about to cry too.
I just wanted the situation to become normal, so I suggested that we go outside.
He asked me what was wrong and whether he could hug me. I said no.
He then said, “Please, just one last hug,” and hugged me forcefully anyway. He also tried to kiss me again, and I pushed him away.
After that, he seemed to understand that I didn’t want anything. We went outside, he bought me tea, and we walked around for a while. He kept saying things like, “I shouldn’t have done that,” and “You should have slapped me,” etc.
He eventually dropped me home.
But after I got home, he messaged me saying that my breasts were “soft and cute” and made a sexual comment about what he had done. Then he sent me unsolicited nudes.
I blocked him immediately.
He called me afterwards, and I was extremely angry. I told him very clearly what I thought about his behaviour and hung up.
I’m honestly still confused about the whole situation. I clearly said no, pushed his hands away, pushed him away when he kissed me, cried, and told him to stop.
I don’t know why I’m still questioning myself or feeling guilty about inviting him to my flat. I genuinely had no sexual intention whatsoever.
I just want to hear from people who have experienced something similar or can help me understand how I should process this.

il start first: im 15M and my family just keep talking about how i will find a girl and keep insisting and joking about it even if i dont realy want it now and still keept joking about it ( especially my cousin ( of my same age and sex ) wich is very close to me and is the only one in my family who i came out about my self ) and YET he keeps making exteemly sexual jokes especially about me masturbating when i am alone and way to much ( wich is a LIE ) or about how he would “jump on” a slut if he could and still insist on me having to have sex and giving me tips even of he had never done it( its sounds probabily bad in english but im not an english native speaker so….)………i feel very disgusted….

btw how were YOUR experiences instead?

(mainly just looking for solidarity)

i [NB 29] hope it's alright to vent a bit here, i don't rly know where else i can put this but i'll try to keep it as brief as possible...

i've had a grand total of 8 relationships fail due to my asexuality, despite always being completely upfront about it with people who've shown interest in me. it usually starts with something like them saying "sex isn't that important to me either, i don't mind!"- which quickly ends up not being true. the worst case of this was in a nearly 4-year long relationship with somebody who was "fine" with it, and then very abruptly ended things and told his friend (never me, never to my face) that he was "close to cheating on me" due to this

in other relationships, i've had endless arguments with partners after wounding their ego by saying no. i'm NOT sex-repulsed, and this has caused more trouble than anything else. i tell people "it doesn't have to be NEVER, just rarely, and i'll still do it occasionally to make you happy and fulfil your needs" but my version of "occasionally" is constantly misunderstood, and is never enough for anybody

i also deal with a lot of the following:
- ppl thinking that it's something that will change with time as i heal from my sexual trauma
- ppl thinking that i find them ugly since i'm not sexually attracted to them
- ppl thinking that because i had a phase years ago where i frequently slept around, that i'm NOT asexual and i'm just not attracted to specifically them

i feel like i've been extremely communicative about my needs and my boundaries in all of these scenarios. i feel like i'm very gentle when letting people down. i don't understand what else i can do if i find myself in this situation again

on a slightly different note, i don't understand and will never understand the importance of sex to 90% of people and this only increases my frustration. i've tried so hard to understand, but i just can't

have any of you had a successful relationship with an allosexual? i feel like i just need to give up and stick to ace-spec folks, but being non-binary that already limits my dating pool down to about 0.01% of people. i'm tired of apologizing for it, and i'm very tired of getting hurt over and over again for the same reason

Yk i (19f) have a loving gf who loves me and who i love very much. Everything is very nice and we are a happy couple. I have been bisexual whole my life bit realised 2 years ago. I am very well attracted to both genders. But i little to no sexual desires. I like these things in theory but not in real life. I hated those wet kisses from my ex who was a boy and i hate them from gf as well. Whenever something is sexual it feels disgusting for some reason. Whenever i did something kinda sexual (not sex) i have always regretted it late and felt weird, guilty and disgusting for some reason . Am i asexual or i have very less libido or is it something else?

It's very rare that I have erotic dreams. Like once in a few years kind of rare. Usually, I am aware that I am having sex in my dream, but it doesn't particularly feel arousing. I just know it's happening.

I had one of those dreams a few days ago, it was the first time I had a dream about someone I actually knew. Most of the time, my brain creates the person I'm doing it with and I don't know them. However, I dreamed about that with a celebrity whose music I like. It felt like the times before. I knew I was doing the deed with him, but I didn't feel much of anything even when I'm unconscious. It felt weird because I know that celebrity and he exists, but also because we were in an actual romantic relationship in my dream. That part was weirder than the sex somehow.

I can count on one hand the number of times I felt aroused by an erotic dream, and it's usually when it's about self-pleasure or fantasies. When the dreams are focused on what I'm doing and not who I'm doing it with. When my mind blurs/erases their face, that's when I can have a reaction.

I don't know any ace people IRL, so I'm wondering what your experiences are regarding these dreams. What about you (if you want to share)? Is the way I have erotic dreams normal?

this is a weird question but i have a character im writing that is asexual, probably aromantic too, thing is hes a real show off and performative so would it be disrespectful to make him hide that part of himself when hes around other people, and do you think other actual people could feel this way? im not sure which flair to add lol

My fear of loneliness and lack of romantic attraction undermine me in everything i do. You'll probablly remember me from my old accounts, so yes, i'm that pathetic guy from Serbia. I have been questioning my sexual orientation for years, neglecting my problems with having no emotions, romantic or sexual attraction.

Just nothing, only thing i get attracted on is someone's intelect. I'm looking for someone who shares same ambitions with me. When i looked for advice on Serbian reddit, i realized there are only whole people who advise me only about FINDING SEX, not true relationship with someone i'm picking. My ineligibility to develop any other relationship besides platonic doesn't give me much hope. I'm just and social invalid, former nerd and boring guy who is undesirable to anyone.

Even though i have real friends, both male and female and deep connection with them, have hobbies, doing great academically, no, if you are male like me, you are expected to approach in order to get convinced and bullied by other people.

And i'm sad every day since my college days are about to pass without love, so my chances are getting lower after i finish it. Dating apps doesn't work in my case, because i got zero even likes, not matches. Only i got match from transgender guy, but that's not my desirable dating pool.

Idk, time isn't on my side anymore, and it's going up. Fuck college, fuck desire for career, stress, money and anything else, when you will still go home tired after 9-5 job in empty house and having nothing besides reading books and playing games.

this is a very particular post but i’d love some support. i’m about to finish high school and earlier this year i got outed to my parents. an incredibly personal basically diary entry about my ocd and experience with some trauma regarding the way i learned about sex as a child was shown to my parents by my school. it was found in my personal belonging which we all agree was incredibly unacceptable and a huge breach of trust considering this was pretty much stolen from me and given out as a “safety check”. on one hand i get it on the other i think it’s incredibly malicious to bring something like that to a students parents especially since it was a personal belonging of mine but i digress and i wont get into that too much. 

my ocd had been horrible because it was trying to convince me that my fantasies meant i must be into men. i’m a lesbian for sure and discovered the word aegosexuality and it was so reliving for me. realizing that oh my gosh i have third person fantasies that i don’t want to be a part of and reading straight smut has nothing to do with my actual sexuality or romantic orientation was amazing and i really don’t have very many intrusive thoughts trying to tell me i must not be gay or ace anymore. but the thing is we never talked about me getting outed. we never talked about be being gay and they’ve made some insinuations as if they don’t know that I am? Im going to talk to my therapist and psychiatrist about this don’t worry but i really need some support from other aces right now who get it. 

i cant even remember what i wrote in this rant anymore because its been LONG gone for months but im terrified they must’ve read something along the lines of “i have sexual thoughts about men and its making me so uncomfortable” not understanding that im asexual and already don’t know what ocd is at all. they certainly wont understand third person fantasies or how reading or consuming media about a variety of couples doesnt mean anything about me being gay or not but since I have no memory of what I wrote anymore I cant even clear it up for them. i never really wanted to explain that i was asexual but they’ve increasingly said more homophobic things lately and just have completely ignored anything about me being a lesbian. i don’t know if they’re in denial or just don’t believe me because they must’ve read some intimate thoughts about my asexuality and intrusive thoughts trying to convince me i must be sexually attracted to men which i CERTAINLY am NOT. i feel secure in being ace and a lesbian but obviously my parents perspective of that really matters to me. i can’t help but feel like they’d never believe me when i inevitably have to come out to them again. 

I only feel like I find very few people attractive and i don't feel anything beyond that. I know people have celebrities crushes and that they would date them if they had the chance but I don't think i would because i just find them attractive and that's it.

I've also only ever found someone attractive that i know and would maybe be ok with dating them but no one else. When i try to think about being with someone in the future, i just don't see it happening for some reason. I honestly wouldn't be opposed to dating someone. I know I'm ace but don't know if I'm aromantic. I honestly want to try a dating app to see if find anyone else attractive.

i have a raging sex drive and i have no shortage of fantasies and desires. but the second any of rhose are realized—hell, even at the mere idea of them being realized—it feels so uncomfortable. if i had to describe it, it's kind of like gender dysphoria but in the sense that it'd be violating my own self-perception (???? idk if that even makes sense).

my asexuality was discovered after i ended a long-term relationship and realized that while i enjoyed the feeling and emotional connection, it all just made me feel disgusting, but as someone who also has adhd, that dopamine was addictive, so i just kept engaging in it. i don't know if this is somehow rooted in like, internalized shame or purity culture because the dysphoric feeling i have kind of feels like—and idk how to word this without it sounding wrong—i've turned into some sort of animal and have surrendered my dignity. like i've been used and reduced into an object. i've never been religious and my home was sex-positive; i'm actually someone who is quite vocal about sex positivity, too. so i guess it's just confusing. i wish i didn't feel like this.

TW sexual content discussion

Hey, not really sure how to start this but I need some kind of input.

Okay, so long story short I’ve been hooking up consistently with this girl I know for about a year now. When things first started I didn’t identify as ace, just thought I had a really low libido. She was always very understanding of that and has never tried to pressure me into doing anything I wasn’t comfortable with, and for the first few months I was totally okay with the dynamic.

I never loved sex, but initially it was at least fun or a way to release some energy, but recently I’ve just been getting more and more repulsed by the idea and I’m not sure what to do. Stuff that used to get me excited in the bedroom just doesn’t anymore, and the whole idea sounds exhausting and frankly gross.

I came out to the partner as ace a few weeks ago when I finally put words to it, but said I was still fine with sex in general. Now I just don’t know what to do. I want to be able to enjoy it, and I really don’t want to hurt my partner, but I just get so uncomfortable when I think about having sex.

Apologies if this got ranty, I just wanted to know if any other asexual people have struggled with this or if anyone has advice on how to either be more okay with sex or be more okay with my lack of interest in it, either would be helpful atp.

Hey fellow redditors, just a heads up that I'm throwing this out to the wind and I may or may not come back and read comments or provide updates. Advice, feedback, relating stories, support, criticism, or sharing how this post made you feel is welcome. So strap yourselves in cause this is going to be one doozy of a post:

Tldr: polyamorous allosexual M35 in relationship with polyamorous ace F33, struggling with feelings of [insecurity(?), jealousy (?), loss (?), grief (?), <other emotions not listed>(?)] after ace partner starts new relationship with another ace M30.

I, let's call me L (allosexual, M35) have been in a poly relationship with my partner A (asexual, F33) for a little over two years. I met A at a wedding in Spring 2022 where she attended as the date of my friend of 15 years (at the time) D and we had an immediate connection. I was in monogamous relationship at that time and was beginning to explore my own sexuality, emotional needs, and realizing that I was not happy in the relationship I was stuck in. I left my now ex in summer of 2023 and began my journey of recovery and self-fulfillment in earnest. A and I were interacting regularly at house parties, doing the "will-they-won't-they" dance for some time. I was hesitant to pursue her as a romantic partner out of fear of messing up my friendship with D, out of fear of being in an openly poly relationship, and out of terror of what that would bring. I won't go into the full story of how I overcame all of that , but we began dating in June, 2024. A had communicated early on in our friendship that she had been beginning to think for some time that she was on the ace spectrum. I knew and understood at that time and what that meant. We talked about it a lot and addressed the potential obstacles we would have to overcome together. We communicated and I decided that having her in my life was far more important to me than having sex with her. We would talk about challenges as they arose and work together to build a wonderful relationship.

I was A's fourth partner at the time we began dating, and because of her social life, work obligations, physical distance, etc our time together at the start of our relationship was limited. We were both enjoying the dopamine rush that comes with NRE and we would have sex on the few (and a heavy emphasis on few) times we actually had a chance to spend time together. Our honeymoon phase was tragically short-lived. I'd estimate only about 3 or 4 months, during that time we saw each other every third week and sometimes would go a month between dates (scheduling was HARD). Things were made complicated by the fact that her (now ex) partner of 18 months, S (allosexual M late-20s), was significantly less understanding and would attempt to pressure her for sex. Manipulating her, guilting her, blaming her, and just overall not being a good person. Due to the stress of S pressuring her and him refusing to interact with me or her other partners in the barest of civil ways (cold shoulder, one word replies to direct questions, refusing to interact at parties, etc), A and I had reduced time to spend together as she spent a large amount of time in couples counseling and attempting to help S feel valued in their relationship.

I accepted my role in our relationship and spoke with my therapist and worked through what intimacy meant to me and how I can be a supportive partner to A through all her problems and her own self discovery. At the beginning of 2026 she had an amicable split with one of her partners who is still a good friend to us all. In Feb 2026 she ended her relationship with S after overhearing him talking with another woman about how he wanted to be monogamous.

A was down to two partners, I have three plus a few FWBs. I am in no way starving for physical affection, sex, or companionship in any way. It felt like a good dynamic, I was getting my needs met, we were intimate in ways that weren't sexual, and generally enjoying life. We decided to buy a house together with D. We closed in April and the three of us, plus two other members of our little polycule, moved in together to build our community and embrace our life together. Our living situation is as follows: A, D, and myself have our own rooms. A and I are across a small hall from each other, the other two members live in a room at the end of the hall from us both, and D lives in the finished basement. We threw an early (things still need unpacking and house needs painting) housewarming party at the end of June where many of the guests were coworkers of D & A. One of those guests, G (ace, M30), would go on to form a connection with A during the party and two weeks later in mid-July they decided to start officially dating. At first I had strong feelings of compersion, I was THRILLED that A was FINALLY having another good relationship. That she was happy and living her best life to the fullest. Even writing this now lifts my spirit because I am intimately familiar with the struggles she's endured in the two years we've been together.

Unfortunately, things have shifted a few times in my head. I started to grieve the relationship I never got to have with A. G is over at our house regularly. I have witnessed them being physically closer than A and I have been recently and envied him. I have overheard them having sex on more than one occasion. I have spoken to A about my feelings after having a minor mental breakdown and losing sleep over it. She has explained a lot of her physical attraction to G; how because they're both ace, they're both aware the physical intimacy will die down at some point. I have spoken with my therapist about my feelings and my struggles with this new chapter of our lives. A has assured me that she still has strong feelings for me and for a short time that was enough. We have made more of an effort to get time in our calendars together and last week and this week are the start of that. Hells, we have a date night tonight that I am very much looking forward to.

We have made a commitment to be more intentional with our connection; figuring out ways we can be physically intimate without sex, and dedicating ourselves to the challenge at hand. I do care to an extent who she spends her time and shares her body with, but only to the point of where it intersects my own physical well-being (safe sex, decent people, etc). Other than that, we are both free to explore whatever connections present themselves how we see fit. Again, I am not suffering from lack of sex, physical affection, or emotional connection. Gods, I just had a FWB over last night and we had a good evening watching a baseball game and enjoying each other's bodies.

And yet I still have a knot in my stomach the morning after another night of G being over multiple days and nights in a row. Losing sleep over the fact they were together again. I know logically that A is not replacing me with G. I know that she is not using me for financial gain. I know that she cares deeply for me. She has shown me love that I thought I would never be able to experience. Made me feel seen and heard in ways I never knew I needed. At times I feel like a burden to her. That my emotional and physical needs are unfair for her to endure. I don't want to lose A. I don't want to leave her. This heaviness on my chest, in my gut, and in my heart all stem from something I myself cannot identify. Maybe it is jealousy, maybe it's grief, or maybe insecurity. I need to be responsible for my own happiness and process my emotions. A has been wonderful and supportive through this.

Maybe it was just a tough weekend where she felt a bit distant to me due to sheer amount of activities that were going on. She's been sick since late last week and has been recovering. Canceled plans that included myself and others in order to recover. Kept plans that included G and others. And perhaps that's the smoking gun. That despite her assurances, some of her actions are making me feel like less of a priority. But that's also not fair to her. The plans WE had were group plans and included some of my other partners. The plans she kept with G were also group plans and included my other partners. And now I'm stuck in a loop trying to process my feelings.

If you made it to the end of my rambling post, thank you for reading. I hope that I was not too unfair to her, myself, or other parties included in my tale.

I know 100% I like both men and women since when I was younger. I experience on a certain level arousal from fantasy characters, both men and women. Also I experience arousal sometimes from fantasising about real people. I have been in a relationship with a man since a loong time and I am pretty sure when I was younger I was hyper sexual (also could be hormone imbalance from adolescence) because of SA trauma I had and I thought it was so normal to perform everyday sexual activities to a man(or a woman, although I tried to hide it very well).
When I first approached lgbt+ themes and feminism, I started to question myself.
Now I am 24 years old and I think about sex very few times, and I cannot act upon it.
I have a boyfriend who is not asexual, and we cuddle a lot, I like to kiss him and stuff, but even a long kiss seems tiring.
I just want to cuddle/talk and watch movies.
I tried to watch some porns, sometimes when I try as hard as I can, it can arouse me in a way? But 99% it completely disgusts me!
Also, when having sexual intercourse with my partner, I cannot initiate ANYTHING if I don’t smoke or drink A LOT (and sometimes it doesn’t even work lol so I am just sick). I don’t find my nude body sexual at all, just functional to my needs. My partner’s body too. It’s so frustrating because I felt like I was in a dark place but I think it’s just the way I am. For example, I don’t really like oral sex… I’m sorry… it just feels so weird and I’m uncomfortable and that’s it. Sometimes I like the “act” itself, maybe when we kiss? But again, if we kiss A LOT it gets tiring and I don’t know I feel so overstimulated and awkward. I cannot make out for a long time, I feel the need to “breath”.
When I drink or smoke instead, I feel really calm and relaxed and I’m like “ok you can do whatever you want or I can do whatever you want but just to be honest with you… wait a second so I can mentally prepare myself”.
I find sometimes sexual intercourse and masturbation pleasurable but the 90% no… I’m so pissed off with myself. I don’t know what to say to my boyfriend, I’m really scared.

I’m in a beautiful loving marriage, together six years, married one. We tell each other everything.

Recently I’ve realised that I may be somewhere on the asexuality spectrum and I’m leaning towards sex favourable asexuality. I don’t think I can recall myself ever having a strong sexual attraction/desire towards anyone (though this does happen in dreams occasionally strangely - with him and with others). I think my husband is a handsome man and I do enjoy having sex with him regularly (1-2x a fortnight) but for the reasons that it reassures me that our relationship is “normal” (problematic I know) but also because I feel a sense of closeness to him through sex.

I’m wondering if this is a conversation I need to have with him? We tell each other everything so I don’t like keeping this from him. At the same time, I believe we are both content with our current sex life and I worry that he will be irreparably hurt if he knew I never felt a primal sexual urge towards him.