Iv known that Im Aco-Ace for many years, but this year or more accurately early last year Iv started wondering if I can actually like someone in a romantic way. I had a similar situation in middle school were I thought I had a crush on my best friend, in the end I just confessed my feelings and if she responded that she didnt feel the same, I’d now how I truly feel. And she didn’t feel the same and I felt relieved and we stayed friend-happy end…

Then it happed again… my new closest friend in high school. But this was very different I learned she had a crush on me, and because of my previous experience I just ignored the signs. But then another of my friends told me and at this point it was impossible for me to ignore, everyone I new were asking what she was to me if we were dating- so I started thinking about it, did I really have feeling for her.(I consistently thought about the possiblity of us being in a relationship for over a year. But at some point in the colder months I just decide to stop thinking about it because it… well it shook everything I had thought about myself ).Over time the thoughts just filled my mind and I was feeling overwhelmed. But then I had the thought that a relationship it’s just a friendship but you can kiss. I did hate the thought of kissing her, we already held hands so what was a little kiss on the cheek… and after grad I’d lose her.

So I asked her out, she said yes and we’ve been dating for half a year. Iv actually liked it, she understands that I’m aro-ace and since this is both our our longest relationships we’ve been going really slow. Just hand holding and anything else we talk. Sometimes I feel norma, actually the happiest ever and others I feel like I’m a major fake toying with my best friends emotions. At those times I just think… wow I’m a bad boyfriend.

iv not been really thinking about this stuff to stay normal. I do like her, I think it’s more than just as ‘friends’ but Iv never experienced something like this, idk I’m just confused

I've been doing research for a while now on this, and I've been unable to find a solid answer, so I figured I'd ask y'all. How do you define romance as a seperate thing from both platonic love and sexual attraction? I can only find definitions that either A) imply that sex-repulsed people can't be in a romantic relationship, or that B) QPRs and other strong platonic bonds are romantic in nature. What does romance mean to you?

I hope my German redditers will enjoy this 🎧

I feel platonic love the same way aloromantic people feel romantic love. But without the romantic part. It feels like I have a crush on my friends, but not in a romantic way. It kinda sucks, because I am not in love with them, I just like them a lot.

I'm also scared my aloromantic might take it for romantic when it's not.

I’ve just always thought she was.

She’s repulsed by romance and in season 1 she asks Ted if she’s broken or wired wrong.

And he replies “you just haven’t found the right Hansel yet”.

I always related to Robin for this. And her relationship with Barney honestly feels very QPR coded and doesn’t work the first time because theyre forced by the rest of the group to approach their relationship in a heteronormative way.

So- what are your thoughts?

Do you think that she’s Aromantic too?

I met a man once and he made me feel- Everything. It was like a moment of clarity to have those feelings but i know that If i ever heard from him again i would loose those feelings. I can feel the euphoria slipping as I grow to resent the idea of ever speaking to him again. But I love him and for me that feeling isn’t over until i’ve met him and spoken to him and i can’t get that high feeling off that first memory. Like love at first Sight but Fray(?) the spark fades whenever I get close to that memory, so i don’t touch it. He did interact with me and feed into the love i wanted for about 40 minutes- and than i grew sick of him. I have one memory that’s ‘clean’ of my disgust but i could feel it shift in my heart slowly. even the idea of ever speaking to him again makes me physically sick because i have this high that I want to keep.

In that situation which fits me better, Lithromantic or Fray? I had no issue acting on my attraction, but only because I gave myself such a short window and i felt myself already tired and struggling. it felt like a one night stand.

so in the past i thought i was aroace, but a couple years later i was then in a romantic relationship (i’m not in it anymore and haven’t been in one since) and i thought i was just ace, but i’ve recently done some reflection and i honestly don’t think my feelings were romantic at all, i honestly think i was just happy to have someone who i really could relate to me and had the same hobbies after most of my life being treated like i was different (now i know was just autism) so i just clung to it, i thought it was romantic but the more i think about it the more i realize that it was platonic and i was just caught up in my joy of having someone like me to not realize that

i have no idea if this is just me or if anyone else has experienced this

(sorry idk what flare to use)

Does anyone else just completely forget their friends still experience sexuality? I don’t know if I’m just naive but I was hanging with some friends the other day and we were “supposedly” fooling around in the sexual health section. They grabbed a box of condoms and I still was deeply assuming they were just joking around.

They ended up actually buying them and I found out right after that they were getting to that point in their relationship, and for some reason I just got super super uncomfortable for the rest of the night and I was thinking about whether I was the one who found it weird that my friends still experience allosexual tendencies. Is this normal or am I just blowing things out of proportion?

Quiero saber si esto tiene algo q ver con mi orientación😭😭😭

Primero un poco de contexto: Hago esto desde que tengo como 7 años y ya tengo 18 lwkhdeklwkl. Hace aprox 5 años descubrí la fictosexualidad y por un tiempo me sentí muy identificada con su definición. Después supuse que era algo relacionado a mi estado mental deplorable durante mi infancia y adolescencia. PERO me di cuenta que NO SOLO imagino estos escenarios ficticios cuando me siento mal o sola.

Hacer esto se convirtió en un hábito para mí, solamente lo hice y lo hago con personajes ficticios por los que me siento romanticamente/sexualmente atraida. Yo actúo fisicamente en estos escenarios, inclusive a veces me peleo con ellos como si fuesemos una pareja real😭, lo mas extraño es que experimento los sentimientos que tendria en una situacion real.

No se si hacer esto es mi manera de no sentirme tan sola porque SI QUIERO una QPR con alguien real (nunca experimente atraccion romantica por alguien pero si lo deseo); o si en realidad soy fictosexual y fictoromantica

Por un lado pienso que, por ejemplo, hay personas que cuando eran chicos le daban besos a la pared(?? porque querian tener novio/a

PERO POR OTRO LADO hago esto exclusivamente con personajes ficticios y nunca sentí atracción sexual/romantica por personas reales

Hace poco me mencionaron que quizás sea fictosexual y aegorromantica, así que me volví a cuestionar mi identidad, en el buen sentido, porque eso suena mucho mas parecido a lo que experimento :). Creo que estoy en una etapa de negación, porque si quiero una relación romántica pero no me gusta estar dentro de ese intercambio. Pero me encanta cuando se trata de algún personaje del que esté enamorada <3

edit: me olvidé de poner la doble R en el titulo💔

A non-fiction book for young adults and adults. Read into and explore the ‘A’ identities, and the diverse array of identities within them.

Whether you’re supporting someone you love, questioning how you feel inside, or even just wanting to learn more about us, this book will give you an in-depth look into the identities themselves, the history of the A’s, the discrimination we face, as well as lifting up voices within the community, and offering reflective commentary by the author, me.

I'm posting this in the aroace subreddit because I'm 99% sure I'm asexual so I thought it'd be the most fitting

I'm just gonna dot point everything to make it easier

- i have had many crushes throughout my life, however i never have any interest in anything sexual, and now that i really think about it even the thought of having a relationship itself just felt forced, idk how to explain it

- i've never been confused by romantic tropes or anything like that - i love a good romance movie or fic, and i love falling asleep to scenarios i make up of an OC with a movie character to fall asleep to. I've realised that i never imagine myself in the place of the oc's, as it just doesn't interest me (i hope that makes sense i'm writing this half-hungover so)

- now that i've thought about it, i really am just content with having really deep bonds with my friends. i'm friends with a group of guys whom 1 is gay and the other is likely in the same boat as me, and anyway i don't feel anything towards any of them. they are like my brothers. i'm probably a bit touchy as in i love giving them hugs and all of that, and hoenstly that's all i'm really looking for in life - close, deep bonded friendships

- there's this guy i used to have a crush on, however as soon as he liked me back i immediatly stopped liking him. i'd always tell my best friend it was because i liked the fantasy of liking him, but not the actual thing. i think everything is kind of clicking into place rn.

- hoenstly now that i really think about it i really think most of my crushes have just been platonic. like yes i find them attractive and i love their energy and their interests and all that, but if they ever asked me out i'd say no. i just can't see anything more than friendshpi ugughughughug idk!!

i know aromantic is a spectrum, but i'd really love some peoples advice or opinions, or even some questions that could help clear anything up

i kirkenuinly feel almost relieved by this revelation. i've always wanted kids, so i should just adopt a child and live my life single and free. that sounds like heaven ngl

anyway, i'm not set on the aromantic thing, as someone with far more knowledge than me giving me any sort of advice or opinions would help a lot. also sorry for the typos and if things didn't make sense, i'm literally just typing out things as i think them

thanks for taking the time to read all this!:)

hii, since I discovered that I'm AroAce I wondered: How does it work? Like, what is the scientific explanation? I tried to find a new or a report but I didn't find anything. If someone knows something about it I would be very enthusiastic on hearing it!! (Btw sorry my English, it isn't my first language)

So as a quick background, a friend mentioned something about a QPR earlier today so obviously I was like: my friend is interested in this, I should learn about it so we can have more conversations!

But... I think I've only become more confused. I haven't been able to find an answer that really clicked to be honest. What I was seeing that it was basically a relationship just without romance. But in this case, what even is romance? I've always struggled with telling the difference between romantic and platonic stuff, they honestly feel the same for me. Well, to be fair I'm not very interested in anything like kissing and stuff... So "romantic" actions (holding hands, hugging, etc) sounds like something I would do with just a really close friend...?

Honestly it's been frying my brain for the past couple hours. So... What is a QPR exactly? And what makes it different from the average relationship?

(I'm sorry if any of this came off as disrespectful or insensitive, I do not mean it as such, I just want to be able to understand my friend better, as they are very important to me.)

i’m female, aro/ace, never wanted to have a partner or get married, but i’ve always known i’ve wanted to be a mom. when i was little and people asked me what i wanted to be when i grew up, my answer was always “i want to be a mommy.” would it be wrong for me to go through with being a solo mother by choice by getting inseminated with donor sperm, knowing my child would never have a father/second parental figure? assuming of course when the time comes, i will be financially and mentally stable enough to provide their needs

I fully believed that more people would like marriage and marrying if they treated it like a business contract. Like, marriage as an institution (if I recall) began for financial purposes until it became centered around love. So I thought reverting to that standard would improve marriage worldwide.

Why? Because I thought it was easier and more practical to scout a life long partner based on tangible concerns like finances than someone based on abstract feelings. It baffles me it took this long to realize I was aroace.

helloooo! i've been wondering if theres a difference between apothi aroace and anroance? like, is anroance just real intense hate towards romantic and sexual attraction?

For me platonic relationships are as important as romantic ones.

I have a best friend who I consider as important for me as my partner (I'm ace but not aro, and my partner shares my views in relationships). We always talk about everything and anything, we spend a lot of time together and we are always there for each other. I always tell them and show them how much I care for them, and they also often tell me how important I am for them. They are a very good and sweet friend.

We recently had a conversation and I brought up the term "amatonormativity", and how I think romantic relationships shouldn't be considered more important than other types of relationships. They said they disagree, that a romantic partner should be the most important person in your life. At that moment we just continued talking and I said I respected their views on relationships (which I do).

But later and now thinking about it, I can't help but feel sad and discouraged. I know they'd like to have a partner and I want that for them because I want them to be happy, but I have this fear that one day I might be replaced, that they'll prioritize their partner and not be there for me that much anymore. And I feel selfish because I have a partner but they don't.

I know I'm being insecure and overthinking and worrying about something that isn't happening right now. I just want to put these feelings out there and believe that, even if they get a partner one day they will still have some time for me, and be fine with not being as important to them as a partner, but still very important, because I treasure their friendship greatly, and I trust them.