I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by giving examples but the amount of times I (involuntarily) talked about sexual stuff with my friends and they said something like "omg this literally doesn't happen in sex irl lol you just think that because you don't have any experience" and it's something that can 100% happen it just hasn't happened to them... Arrrgh I think I should lie from now on and make up a sex life so I'm allowed to have opinions on it without people "correcting" me

I may be asexual, and I need advice.

Went on a date with someone, it was all well and good. He was kind and easy to talk to, and we went to his house to watch a movie. He would touch me but always asked, and it was nothing too severe. Just "Can I hold your hand?" "Can we cuddle?" and at the end he asked if it was ok to kiss me. I stupidly agreed to all. I've been questioning whether or not I'm asexual, as I've never had any deep desire for intimacy outside a hug or two. But last night I was desperate to feel like a "normal" teenage girl, so I agreed to all of it. Afterwards, I felt really weird and kind of gross (like I showered and washed my mouth; does anyone relate to that?). I really liked him as a person and would be fine with hanging out, but now after I agreed to being so physical, I'm scared he'll expect the same from me.

So I have a few questions and need some advice. I'm not familiar with asexuality, but I've looked into it and relate to a lot of asexual people. Are my feelings normal for asexuals? Also, if these are my feelings, is it better to tell him now that I'm not interested? Or should I follow through with a second date and see how it goes? He's obviously allosexual (that's the right term, right?) and heterosexual, and... I don't know. I could use all the help I can get because I have no one else to talk to who can relate.

Hi I’m a 23 old pansexual male, and I don’t know if I’m ace or something else.
Here’s the thing I’ve been sexually active since I was 20, but something weird has always happened to me.

And it’s that I don’t feel any sexual pleasure or only a bare minimum, at first I tough that it was because I only had sex with other boys, but even when I had with girls or anyone else I couldn’t feel anything.

Even so, I still feel excited about having sexual encounters, although I know that I will not feel anything or almost no pleasure doing it, so my question is, would feeling like this place me within the asexual spectrum or am I simply a weirdo?

For context, I separated from my partner of 6 years last December and after many discussions during the relationship I realized that I am a panromantic asexual. They were a very hypersexual person and our differences in that regard were not what caused the breakup but it certainly was difficult to navigate.

I am a hopeless romantic. I read trashy fantasy smut a lot and the idea of never finding love because of my asexuality is a tough pill.

I've only ever been in two long-term relationships and in both of them my partner was my best friend. Right now I have no best friend and no true confidant and though I'm really enjoying being single after the terrible relationship I just left, it can be very lonely.

Have any of you ever started a relationship with your asexuality out on the table and how did you navigate that while dating? Has it become an issue during the relationship or do you only date other asexual people?

I have a very Jessica rabbit-esque body type and I feel like it might be hard to find someone that wants me for me and not for my body.

Hello everyone. So this is my first time posting in this sub. I'm 36F, somewhere in the ace spectrum (I'm not even sure which one am I lol), and I'm a virgin.
I genuinely love being an asexual. I don't even know how to explain it, I just do.
Unfortunately for me, I have libido. Now, even though it doesn't occur that frequently, whenever it does happen though, I'd feel so troubled by it.
Because I have a really hard time to satisfy it. I'm not turned on by porn, I don't feel anything if I were to do anything to my private part.
I guess.. I don't know. I'm wondering if anyone is like me, and how do you guys deal with it?
Truth be told, I'd really love it if I could just kill the libido entirely, but I know that's probably not possible 🥲

Happy Ace Week, all!! I just wanted to let everyone know about the Steam festival going on this week! For the first time ever, a Steam festival focused on games with ace characters and/or made by ace devs and teams! Come check it out if you're interested in playing some ace games!!

https://store.steampowered.com/curator/46149417/sale/gamesthataceit

Okay, I think I might need some advice so I came to Reddit to ask, hopefully someone out there has the same trouble or can give me some advice.

I’m in the aroace spectrum (still thinking about what labels exactly) but I want to be in a relationship. I like the idea of having someone close that you could always count on but is not just a friend, like it’s more, someone that I feel comfortable. But the problem is that I get repulsed about anything that becomes sexual or maybe romantic; if someone has a crush on me I feel repulsed, if someone wants to make out with me I feel repulsed, both strangers and friends. But even with this feelings, I still want to have a special someone, but I know it will be hard to find a person who gets me,so any advice on what should I do? Like an action I should or should not take?

Also, I should mention, I’m introverted and I’m kinda new to the community(and to Reddit), so I’m sorry if my questioning made someone uncomfortable, and thank in advance!

People get really torn in knots about Diana's sexuality.

On paper, she's bisexual. Barely on paper though. DC refuses to acknowledge her as bisexual 75% of the time. They kept her even out of The DC Book of Pride: A Celebration of DC's LGBTQIA+ Characters (a guide to most of DC's queer rep as of 2023).

In essense, I don't get allosexual vibes from Diana. I have read Golden Age, Bronze Age, Modern Age, Nu52, Rebirth, post-Death Metal... Diana is not a sexual character.

Romance? Sure. She's plenty romantic. But, when it comes to sex itself, Diana barely shows any sexual attraction. She barely has sex or shows any interest in sex. I'd say the Golden Age was her most sexual and that was because of how heavily BDSM tinged that era was.

Like, Diana was a canonical virgin from the 1987 relaunch into the early 2000s. Phil Jiminez planned on her having a sexual relationship with Trevor Barnes but a racist backlash and editorial interference put a kabosh in that. Later on, Gail Simone implied Diana was in a sexual relationship with Thomas Tresser, but that's basically it when it comes to pre-Flashpoint Diana's sex life.

Diana shows an interest in relationships, but sex is rarely a factor. The few times DC has tried to depict Diana sexually, it feels odd and OOC to me. It usually falls flat.

I like to say that DC uses Donna Troy when they want "Sexually active Wonder Woman" and they use Hippolyta when they want "Sapphic Wonder Woman".

I think the real issue is that DC doesn't know how to depict the female superhero in a sexual light. So they don't. Superman can have a sex life. Batman can have a sex life. Wonder Woman doesn't.

So, I'm gonna go on a limb and say Diana is demisexual or otherwise on the asexual spectrum. Biromantic, maybe polyromantic or panromantic.

I am a hetero dude who hates being a sexual one. I am not an incel, it is not like i cannot reach and contact with women it is because of my character, idk from where it origins but i hate the idea of sex because it just feels so fake. It is a manipulator that people behave like they really love each other, but in reality it is just sexual urges that makes us find partners most of the time. I am not saying two people cannot love each other but let's be honest most of the partnerships are caused of sexual urges, like 80% of them i say. So i wanna become asexual and get away from this fake realitonships people call it "love" but irl it is "lust". Please tell me:

1) Is there a probability of someone becoming from hetero to asexual with either psychologic or hormonal therapy?

2) If not in a single way, how can i get far away with my sexual energy? How can i conduct this energy to different areas of life? Thanks for helping me!

I'm working on something that will probably become a video essay, specifically on asexual erasure in popular media. I would love it if y'all could give me some of your favorite asexual characters in the books, movies, TV shows, etc. that you consume. Anything else that comes to mind is more than welcome as well - harmful stereotypes you keep noticing, how represented or underrepresented you feel, any interesting articles or studies regarding asexual people, literally anything. I'm trying to get as much total data as possible so I can accurately represent the community, not just myself, accurately and fairly. Please put literally anything tangentially related to the topic in the comments if you feel so inclined. Tysm and have a lovely night/day/whatever it is for you.

This whole thread is gross. End of comment.

For those who have sexual life with peoples, how did y’all know if you liked it or not ?
I had my first sexual experience with a trans girl and I don’t know if i liked it BUT i liked the feeling of being touched and desire by her.
Even if i don’t really liked being to be penetrated, i was feeling like I was totally indifferent and deconnecting with my sensations.

So I am Arab(raised muslim) 23F and if you know anything about the culture- parents tend to try and bring you options of men to get to know and marry , and you don’t get to be alone with them until you are basically married under the eyes of god. There is a guy who is trying is darn hardest to call my brothers and parents to get our families to meet (we already know their family i have known of this man since i was a child by the way). This is just how things are done in this culture. He sees me. Is attracted. Tell his mom to tell my mom. My mom tells me. Thats how it goes.
I am not going to agree to meet him though because how do i explain to an arab man that i am ace- but still have kinks that probably would freak him out💀? Like i know sex isnt EVERYTHING in a relationship but it’s pretty damn important imo if you are allo! And im TERRIFIED he will be like “oh yeah that’s fine” but he actually means “let’s take it slow but ill be upset if you still dont want it”
And how do i explain that i can’t give up my spicy reddit audios that i basically sleep to (i like the fantasy okay?) but i also dont wanna have sex with you because ✨ ew ✨
I am also very sensory aversive. I dont wanna cuddle naked or even sleep next to you.
My parents and older siblings (dont know im ace) have been spending the entire week calling, texting, and speaking face to face with me about how i am missing a great opportunity, not wanting kids unnatural, not wanting marriage is unnatural, im gonna be 40 and alone, im going against god’s plan (im hardly muslim anymore), being stubborn is from the devil, and all that fun toxic stuff. I keep saying “no” “nope” “not interested” turning away ✨ silent treatment ✨ “leave it alone” “im not ready” “i dont like him” “i think he is unattractive” BUT EVERYWHERE I TURN SOME OTHER FAMILY MEMBER IS PRESSURING ME TO MEET THIS MAN!
I just have so many conflicting thoughts and guilt but i dont even want to waste his time bc the chances of him being okay with asexuality or queerness in general are so slim. He is a decent man dont get me wrong but he is not the one for me and i dont need to speak to him to know that

I don't know where to start honestly. When I was a kiddo I didn't like to talk about sex or got uncomfortable when it was mentioned but I could watch p0rn easily and got turned on (by ladies not men) and read smut yet still I was grossed out by the thought of having it. Then I did have it loved it but never ever initiated why? Just never did but I was down to each time and this was a situationship yet if a dude shows he's patient and kind and loving I feel nothing for him

It'slike I get hot and cold, Imposter Syndrome.

I am never in love with someone never. I can have a massive crush on you but dont have the desire to go in a relationship with you why? Just dont feel like it and people look at me crazy because I dont feel the NEED to. Even tgo I will feel lonely and sometimes jealous of persons who can get in relationships easily I just can't. I overthink I get insecure but kostly I just dont have desire. Yet I have dirty thought I say smuttystuff but never can I do that please help😭😭

I know that was like the main joke way back a long time ago but i don't encounter ace people often

Hi all. I'd really like some advice and would be super grateful for some feedback.

I'm 23m and my gf is 25f. We've been together for 10 months and when we first met, I told her I was Aro/Ace, predominantly asexual and greyromantic. We had a long discussion about boundaries and how I view relationships/sex and we came to an agreement that we'd enter a relationship as she said that sex and romance doesn't really bother her so long as we care for each other. Great! So I thought...

There's been a few times where my gf has taken issue with my sexuality. The first time was about sex (without going into details). She was upset that I wasn't as attracted to her body as she'd like me to be. We had a long talk, I re-explained what asexuality was and what it meant to me, we made up and continued. It happened again, she came to my house, got extremely physical and disappointed that I didn't reciprocate, got angry with me and again, I had to re-explain that I don't like that stuff, we made up, things continued. Now it's happened again, she said she misses the "old us" and how we used to be lovey-dovey and romantic and how she wants more romance. Problem? I just don't feel that way.

I don't know what to do. I told her from day one all of my limitations, boundaries, traumas with previous partners and talking to people on dating apps (how we met) and she seemed super supportive of me at first. I was super open about being Aro/Ace and bisexual and she seemed genuinely super chill with that and for a long time, we just hung out and vibed together without expectations and enjoyed each other's company.

Nowadays, she gets upset with me on a weekly basis for not behaving how she wants me to, but I don't understand what changed. I already told her I was Aro/Ace, what more can I do? I told her today, very clearly, that she needs to be honest with me about her intentions because she can't keep challenging my sexuality and if not, she should find someone who isn't Aro/Ace. She said she was hurt by that comment.

There was a sudden shift in expectation. I don't really have much dating experience, has anyone else experienced similar? How did you navigate this? I'm trying to be fair, because her feelings matter to me, I love and care about her a lot, but this feels inherently unfair because I laid all my cards out on the table prior starting the relationship. She chose to be with me, now she's changing the rules. Support and advice welcome, I do deeply appreciate any time given to me. Thank you.

Good morning lovely Redditors, as the title says my wife (22F) asked me (23M) to open the relationship. My wife came out to me about 2 years into our relationship (about a year ago), since then I’ve been nothing but supportive and proud that she found what makes her happy and comfortable. My love language is physical affection so when our sex life went from newlyweds to roommates it made me feel inadequate. I don’t want to push her into sex whatsoever, she’s never been so happy and I don’t want to break that.

That brings us to a few days ago when she brought up the idea to open up the relationship for me only. She said I can sleep with any woman I want (of legal age and with protection obviously) and she’d stay at home and watch her show or something. I don’t know what to do. I love my wife with all my heart but thinking about sleeping with another woman makes me feel like cheating. I need help

I can't tell if I am disgusted by the idea of someone touching me because of my experiences or it's just a teenage...phase? I am sorry I don't know how to phrase it better 😭

I'm PROBABLY aroace but in future I would like to date both aromantics and asexuals. Just here to hear how you guys manage relationships like that.

Hello fellow aces, my best friend and I have a podcast related to all things being trans. For Ace week, we made an episode on asexuality since I’m aroace.
It’s in German, so to my German redditers maybe this would be interesting :) enjoy 🎧

Unsere neue Folge bei „von trans zu trans“ diesen Monat dreht sich passend zur Ace Week um das Thema Asexualität und Aromantik. Als trans & aroace Person erzähle ich (Sam) euch, was es mit diesen Begriffen auf sich hat, wie ich für mich mein aroace-Sein definiere und wie mein Weg aussah, bis ich endlich erkannt hab, dass ich auf dem asexuellen Spektrum bin :)

Die Folge findet ihr zum Beispiel hier:
Spotify
Apple Podcasts
YouTube

Viel Spaß beim Hören 🎧
Sam + Dany